Dying Well

Will you die well?

We spend a lot of time preparing for things. Every day we prepare for school, work, or whatever else may be on our plate. We ensure we brush our teeth, get dressed, are well nourished, and aware of what is on our calendar. We fill our vehicles with fuel and ensure they still have insurance. We like to be prepared, especially if something big is coming our way.

But something really big is coming our way, any moment now, and many of us aren’t actually prepared for it. You are going to die.

Are you ready to die? More than that, will you die well?

When we face things we don’t like, our western culture tends to resort to one of two methods. The first is to minimize it, living as if it isn’t a big deal, and the second is to try and control the situation.

Evasion #1: Minimizing

In recent decades, death is purposely being hidden. The days of wearing clothing to show you are mourning the loss of a loved one has long passed. Instead of being buried, 77% of deaths in my home province of BC result in cremation. After all, cremation is simple – it doesn’t require a casket, a plot in a graveyard, a funeral, a headstone, or even much of a wait. The body is simply “gone” with just some ashes remaining.

Funerals have also been replaced with “memorial gatherings” or “celebrations of life” where a few words are spoken, pictures shared, and some drinks are poured. During and post-Covid, even many of these empty practices have been abandoned.

With fewer children and broken families, many Canadians are approaching death realizing that they won’t be leaving much of a hole in anyone’s lives. Sure enough, when they die their rooms are emptied, the walls are painted, and the next tenant moves in shortly after. Did anyone even notice?

We can point to culture, but how are we preparing for the prospect of our own deaths? A former pastor of mine shared that he prefers to preach at a funeral over a wedding. At a funeral people are usually listening – thirsty souls needing spiritual water. At a wedding most people are distracted, waiting for the message to wrap up so we can carry on with the other plans. The problem is that much of our lives can be characterized by distractions from what really matters.

When it is our funeral, we won’t have any time left to pay attention. We are either ready or we aren’t.

Evasion #2: Pretending to be in control

Since humanity is not able to escape death, it is becoming common to do what we can to control it by ending life on our own terms. Since “assisted death” or MAiD was legalized in 2016, the numbers have jumped as much as 30 percent each year since. Well over 50,000 Canadians have already been killed this way. The National Post recently shared the story of Dr. Ellen Wiebe, who grew up in a Christian home and has killed over 400 people in BC. She calls her work “incredibly rewarding” stating that “it’s the last thing I’ll give up.” Why is it so important? “It’s about honouring people’s wishes, empowering people to have control over their own lives.”

Again, Christians can face the same temptation, in at least two ways. First, many religious leaders claim that “MAiD” is a blessing to be embraced, as it allows people to die without facing more pain.

And, without “assisted death” even being considered, other Christians do everything they can to fight against God’s clear plan to let our earthly life come to an end. We seek to control our death through every medical option available, or by becoming bitter at God for interfering with our hopes and plans.

Dying well

God has made it clear to us that minimizing death, or trying to control it, are both foolish. Since our first parents ate from the tree of knowledge of good and evil, death has been unavoidable (Gen. 2:17). And even if a doctor and the government are willing to end our lives, every one of us will still stand before God to give an account (2 Cor. 5:10-11). So if we want to live and die well, we need to understand life and death from God’s perspective, not our own.

The Apostle Paul gives us the answer so beautifully in Ephesians 1 and 2. I urge you to stop reading this article and go to your Bible to Ephesians 1:1-2:10 right now. It will likely be some of the most valuable time of your day.

Did you notice how many times Paul wrote about being “in Christ” and “in Him”? What God makes very plain to us in these verses is that if we want to die well, we need to die in Christ.

Left to ourselves, death will have the victory over us. It doesn’t matter if we attended a Reformed church all our lives, were well respected by others, and are surrounded by a large and loving family. As Paul shares in Ephesians 2:1: “And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked... following the prince of the power of the air...” We were dead, even if our hearts were still beating.

Thankfully the message doesn’t stop there. In verses 4-8 we hear the Gospel. Let it sink in:

“But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ – by grace you have been saved – and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God...”

When we die in Christ we are saved from eternal death by Christ’s death, and can look forward to being raised to eternal life, just as Christ did. That is why, in his letter to the Philippians Paul was able to testify, “For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain” (Philippians 1:21). As Pastor Jonathan Parnell shared in his article "Die Well" on DesiringGod.org

“Death is gain because when all is lost, we still have all we ever really wanted, and now we have him in a deeper, richer experience that, as the apostle Paul says, is ‘far better’ (Philippians 1:23).”

To live in Christ means to surrender everything to Him. Not control, or fight or hide, but surrender. “I am not my own but belong, in body and soul, to my faithful Savior Jesus Christ” (Heidelberg Catechism, Lord’s Day 1). Paradoxically, living well means dying to ourselves – even dying everyday (1 Cor. 15:31), so that we can experience abundant life – eternal life in Christ.

Victory in Christ

When we are in Christ we don’t have to minimize death, or try control it. We can rest in God’s good plan for our life.

This doesn’t take away from the fact that death is our enemy. It stings. I’m “only” 43 but have felt the pain of death acutely many times. I’m not looking forward to experiencing it even more in my remaining days.

Yet it makes all the difference in the world to understand that in Christ, death doesn’t have the final word for my loved ones or myself. Because He died for us and conquered the grave with His resurrection from the dead, “death is swallowed up in victory” (1 Cor. 15:54). It is now a gateway to life. Real life. Eternal life.

“Thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ” (1 Cor. 15:57).