Pro-life - Adoption

Considering adoption

God is concerned about orphans (Ex. 22:22, Deut. 14:29, Ps. 10:14,18, Ps. 68:5, Ps. 146:9, Prov. 23:10) and He wants us to care about them too (James 1:27). That means His Church should be full of adoptees and full of adopters, and full of people encouraging adoption, and people enabling adoption, and people praying for the many orphans that remain. God’s concern for orphans means we should all consider adoption.

But it doesn’t mean we are all called to adopt.

Paul writes in 1 Cor. 12 about the members of the Church having different gifts, and that those with one gift should not look down at those with another. The same is true when it comes to adoption. We don’t all have the same callings. We’re not all ministers. We’re not all homemakers. We’re not all mechanics. We’re not all volunteering at the local pregnancy center. We have different giftings – God has given us different talents.

So, not everyone has to adopt.

But the Church should be a refuge for the fatherless, and a home for the orphan. So everyone should consider adoption.

And here are a few key points to consider.

Adopted kids don’t always turn out the way we hoped

As Ashley Whittemore notes in her article "The Ugly Side of Adoption: Not easy, not simple. Painful. Confusing. And Christ-like." back in the April 2015 issue:

“Be it death or abuse or abandonment, intentional or otherwise, there is a tragic reason this child is in need of a different family.”

The tragedies orphans have suffered can leave a lasting impact that parents, no matter how loving, might not be able to overcome. That means adopted children may be more likely to get into the sorts of trouble that will have their parents prematurely gray.

However, this isn’t so much a reason not to adopt as it is a reason to re-evaluate what we expect from adoption. From a cost/benefit analysis adoption has no guaranteed pay-off. If it’s only about our parental happiness, then adoption is a risky proposition.

But what if adoption is also spiritual warfare? Many times adoption involves taking a child from a godless situation and bringing them into God’s covenant, into a Christian home, where they will be sent to a Christian school, and taught about all that their baptism entails. We can be sure the devil hates Christian adoption!

And what if adoption is about rescuing a child? Adopted children may cause their parents stress – we don’t know how this will all work out in the end – but when we bring an orphan into our family, we do know she won’t be neglected or lonely, and will be far less likely to be exploited. Getting adopted means fewer troubles ahead for her.

And what if adoption is about imitating God? We’ve never had anything to offer God – there was no reason for Christ to die for us, but our need. Yet we were adopted as God’s own sons and daughters (Rom. 8:15-23, Gal. 4:4-6, Eph. 1:4-5). Adoption is an opportunity to go and do likewise, dying of ourselves in service of another.

Adoption comes with no guarantees…but parenting never does.

We can only do so much

The world is a broken place, with so much that needs to be set right. But God created us as finite beings. In addition, we are fallen beings. That means that not only do we have limits, we sometimes won’t acknowledge them. Then an arrogant sort of guilt can consume us as we see orphans uncared for and it seems up to us to do it all… whether we actually have the ability to care for another child or not. The fact remains, we all have our limits, and that includes limits on our time, energy, health, emotional stability, money and more. As we consider adoption, we also have to consider the children we already have and what they need from us.

But while we each have our limits, God has placed us in a community of believers. Not all of us are called to adopt, but we are all called to support one another, and what we cannot do alone we can do together. We can all be a help to adoptive parents, supporting them with our money (some churches have adoption funds), or our time (free babysitting?) or our energy (our kids can mow their lawn). Some of us can promote adoption by reading up on it (see the book reviews in the April 2015 issue) and sharing that information with others. We can all pray for orphans, and for adoptive parents. Some can foster children. And some can donate to Christian adoption agencies.

We’re not all called to adopt, but we can all play our part.

Orphans aren’t the only ones in need

Widows and orphans are a pressing concern for God, so they should be for us to. But what of the many others in need? What of the other spiritual battles for us to contend? One excellent reason not to adopt is because God is calling us to something else. There’s no shortage of good works that God has laid out for us to do.

However, if we don’t nail down what that something is, “something else” can easily become “nothing at all.” We need to figure out what God wants us to do with what He has given us. We’re not all called to adopt, but we are called to make use of our talents.

Conclusion

There are many excellent reasons not to adopt – it isn’t something everyone should do. However, God has called on his Church to care for the orphans. There are millions around the world who have no mother or father to look after them. That means there are millions of reasons for all of us to promote adoption and millions of reasons for us to consider it.