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Parenting

Teaching small fries to take notes, sing psalms, and speak to God

When your child is old enough to write...

When your child learns to write he is ready to begin taking sermon notes.

Say, what?

Let's say that little George is 4 or 5 or 6 years old and he knows how to write his name and how to write all of his letters. Now he can get started! All you need is a regular notebook (or half size) and a pen or pencil.

Before you go to church you should talk with him about the worship service, and how important it is to be quiet and still and to listen to God's Word being preached.

Hopefully he has already been sitting in church for awhile and has become accustomed to obeying in this manner. Explain to him that he is old enough now to begin taking sermon notes!

As you listen to the sermon, write in the notebook a simple sentence that you have just heard the minister say. Remember to write it in the type of lettering that little George will be able to read, in the size that he is used to. Then hand it to George and tell him to copy it. If he is a beginner, he will take awhile to do so. When he hands it back to you, smile, and listen to the sermon for a moment, and write another sentence. He needs to remember not to have a conversation about it. Let George complete this second one as well.

Depending on the age and patience of your child, you can decide whether to have him write 5 sentences, or 10, or more. As he improves, he will be quicker and will accomplish more. He may keep it up throughout, or he may tire. I usually found it beneficial to "push" my child to do just one more after he said he was getting tired of it. This helped him to develop endurance.

After the service, take the notebook home. If you will take a few moments to read it over when he is present, and to show it to your spouse, he will see that this is important to you and it will help him to strive to do it well. If he is able, you might even have him read it as a part of your family Bible reading time.

This activity teaches him to take notes, because as he gets older you will ask him to listen and write down parts of sentences that he hears. It doesn't matter if he gets all of the words - just that he is listening and getting some of them. Eventually he will progress to where he can find the main points and summarize them, but that's a long way off.

This activity also gives him something very worthwhile to do during worship. It is directly involved with the worship, as opposed to just being a toy, a page to color, or a series of "o's" to fill in, in his bulletin. It says to him that he is worshipping too, not just being forced to sit quietly for his parents' sake. It says to him that he is capable of taking sermon notes, just like the "big people" do. It also helps if he sees those older than him participating in this way.

As his notebook progresses you could use it during the week to help him remember what he learned on Sunday. If you are enthusiastic, he will be also.

When your child is old enough to sing...

When your child is old enough to sing a song he is old enough to learn psalms and hymns. Little George is capable of picking up any song that he hears. So if you regularly sing words of praise to the Lord in your home and in your car, he will soon know all of the words as well. Good quality music that truly honors the Lord is just as fitting for children as it is for adults. They do not need off-key vegetables to get their attention. You might teach your children the psalms and hymns by methodically going through your church songbook and learning to sing all of the first stanzas. What a wonderful preparation to be ready for whichever ones the minister thinks fit best with his sermons for that day!

Another way that you can assist your child in worship is by finding out ahead of time, if possible, which hymns or psalms will be sung next Sunday. Then you can sing that one at home a few times so that it becomes familiar to him. If it's one that was unfamiliar to you this could benefit everyone and improve the musical part of the worship of our Lord. If enough people are interested in knowing ahead of time perhaps you could ask the minister if he could email the titles or page numbers to the congregation by Thursday or Friday of each week.

All of this serves to teach our children that what happens on Sunday is important and that it is not a Sunday-only activity. Preparing for worship and reflecting on it afterwards bring it to the forefront and promote our spiritual growth.

Again, a little enthusiasm goes a long way.

When your child is old enough to read...

When your child is old enough to read he can begin reading the Bible. What an excitement it is for little George to help read one of the Bible verses at a family Bible reading time. Maybe he can only identify half or two-thirds of the words, but he is sure trying. Soon he will want to be able to read the other words too, and that will encourage him to learn the rest of his phonics. What a goal!

Historically, most schools were started so that people would be able to read God's Word. George will appreciate that he too is included in the Bible study. He also won't need to fuss for attention if he is already included in taking a turn.

When your child is old enough to speak...

When your child is old enough to speak he can pray. He might repeat after Mom or Dad, or he might add his own simple words of thanks and request. But he should not even be able to remember a time when he did not pray several times every day.

Worship is the central, most important thing that we do in our entire week. It is the time that we humbly come to confess our sins, give our thanks, sing of His glory, ask for help, and learn of His grace. When we teach our children right from the start how to worship, we accomplish the most important task that we must do.

Sharon L. Bratcher has a book with 45 of her RP articles in it, and a 2-year lesson plan entitled “Bible Overview for Young Children” ages 2-6 and 6-9. For information on these, contact [email protected]. This article first appeared in the Dec. 2006 issue, under the title "Sermon notes, and songs, for small fries."

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Economics - Home Finances

Beware the new thieves

Clever online scammers are targeting Christians, old and young – here’s what to watch for ***** Gerry lost his dear wife Margaret in 2020, after nearly forty years of marriage. He never thought that he would be the lonely type, but now that she was gone, he realized that while the kids and grandkids loved him, and checked in on him regularly, they had their own lives and were busy with so many things. While not much of a social media guy, Gerry had a Facebook account that kept him connected to friends and family. After Margaret’s passing, he received many condolences and messages that really helped him through a tough time. One friend of a Facebook friend who lived on the other side of the country continued to message Gerry after he accepted her friend request during this time of grief. Laura had lost her husband a few years ago, and she knew how lonely it could get after the family settled back into their normal routines, and the house felt so empty. Their conversations switched to private messenger so that prying Facebook eyes wouldn’t have anything to gossip about, and the connections became an important part of Gerry’s day. After a month of regular, frequent communication, Gerry grew to rely on Laura and considered her a true friend. They were both interested in politics, and had many interesting chats about how Canadian culture was changing so quickly. They wondered what life was going to be like for their grandchildren in the coming decades. They shared the challenges they faced as singles in churches where most people were part of a couple. Neither of them liked Facetime or other video chat services, so most of their talks took place through Whatsapp, or Messenger or email. A few months into their friendship, Laura became gravely sick. Her illness was life threatening, and she was devastated. Professing her confidence in Jesus, she told Gerry she was not afraid of death, but still had a lot to live for. Treatments for her illness were very expensive, and Laura was not a wealthy widow. Gerry was happy he could do something for her, and sent money through e-transfers to help her pay the bills that began to pile up. The treatments became more and more expensive, and for a while, Laura insisted that Gerry stop sending funds; it wasn’t worth it anymore with all the pain she was experiencing: she was at peace with stopping the treatment. Gerry insisted: she had to fight on, for the sake of her children and friends, and it wasn’t right to give up hope! Perhaps by now, dear reader, you recognize the themes of what has become a far too common scenario. Lonely people are fooled by deceivers who take advantage of them by pretending to be someone who cares. “Laura” never existed; the man who invented her had dozens of other online personalities that he used to connect with men and women around the globe. All the money that Gerry sent enriched this thief’s bank account, and never paid for a penny of treatment for anyone. And since he didn’t even live in Canada, there was no way to recover the hundreds of thousands of dollars that Gerry sent that were supposed to help someone who never was. Now, thankfully, this is a fictionalized account and Gerry is not a real person, so the harm he suffered didn’t happen. But I’m sharing his story because this exact thing is happening to real people all across Canada, and we need to know what to look out for. Extorting the young Now let me tell you about Logan, a shy teenager, especially bashful around girls at his Christian high school. His Instagram profile painted an active picture – posts after every hockey game, after a day at the lake, and an afternoon on the slopes. His profile led to lots of connections with teens with similar interests, and he began to have more “conversations” with these virtual friends than with his classmates. Chelsea, a girl from the States, became an even closer friend, and Logan looked forward to their interactions more and more, and perhaps to meeting her some day. Logan grew more intimate with Chelsea, and although he knew he shouldn’t, he traded inappropriate pictures with her. Again, by now you may have guessed the deceit that had happened. Chelsea was not a girl from Florida but a con man, and now that he had these compromising photos, he had the tools needed to begin extorting Logan. Small Venmo transfers grew larger and larger, and if Logan didn’t comply, these pictures would be shared with everyone he knew. Weeks of torment followed for the beleaguered teenager. Logan’s parents noticed how their normally happy son had turned morose, with no energy for the things that usually brought him joy. Dad took Logan out for coffee, and when pressed, his son confessed his dilemma. With help from the local authorities, the extortionist was frozen out from further contact. The family’s ward elder visited with Logan, and was a huge comfort for the teenager, reminding him that “all have sinned, and all fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by His grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus” (Romans 3:23-24). It’s a simple message that Logan knew from his youth, but such a comforting thing to be reminded! While Logan’s story ended well, this type of extortion is extremely dangerous. Especially younger victims see their world tumbling down around them. Some have become so distraught, not seeing any way out from their dilemma, that they have taken their own lives. A new danger While both Gerry and Logan are not real people, what happened to them is actually happening to people across the world, with frauds and scammers using social media and modern communication tools to rob unsuspecting citizens. Our online profiles show our hobbies, our loved ones, our careers, and other things important to us, and that become the means by which thieves find connection points with us. A seemingly innocent message or connection opens the door to a virtual relationship that builds up over time. We begin to trust the person on the other end of that email chain or iMessage conversation. And these thieves are happy to play the long game, not asking you for money in the early days of your friendship. It could be more than a year before they “strike” – they will wait till they’ve become someone you trust, someone that you want to help. So what can you do to protect yourself? Here are three simple rules to help you shut down these scoundrels. Rule 1: Do I actually know you? Today’s thieves rarely come to your front door – they approach through electronic communication like phone calls, social media connections, and emails. You may believe you have a friendship with someone; you may even have pictures of this person, or have seen their online presence for some years, you may even have phone conversations with someone – but unless you have seen them in person, there is a chance that this person is deceiving you. You can shut down most scams and schemes by following this rule: if I haven’t seen you in person, we don’t really have a relationship, and I certainly will not send you any gifts, financial or otherwise. While the scams in this story took a long time to set up, other schemes and frauds can materialize quickly. For example, your “utility company” may phone you to let you know that your service is being disconnected due to missed payments, unless you are able to pay over the phone right now. Even more distressing: fake kidnappers have used voice recordings of grandchildren to extort money from vulnerable seniors: “You must send these funds now or you will never see them again!” Rule 2: Don’t answer your phone if the number calling is not one you recognize! You cannot be sure that a caller is who they say they are. Even if the call is from your local area code, or the area code where you have relatives or connections, just let the incoming call go to your voice mail. If the matter is legitimate and important, the caller will leave a message, and you can verify that whoever is calling is really with the company they say they are with, by looking up their phone number from your latest bill or statement. And if the message does turn out to be a loved one, you can simply call them back! Rule 3: Slow down, and tell someone! Most scammers rely on a sense of urgency to make you act more quickly than you normally would. “Get on your computer now and make this E-transfer, or else this terrible consequence will follow.” We get flustered when we are put in a stressful situation; our normal logic gets pushed aside in our panic. Hang up the phone, close up the email or message, and call a trusted friend or loved one. Most of the time, the messenger’s urgency is a tactic designed to bully you into doing something you normally would not do without double checking its legitimacy. How can we help each other? “It is not good for man to be alone,” said the Lord in Genesis 2, and this applies not just to finding a marriage partner, but also to human beings as social creatures. We need relationships, for both giving and receiving love and friendship. In our modern, internet connected world, more and more people have stronger virtual connections than they experience in real life. Many people are lonely! One of the most important ways for us to help our loved ones not become victims of these types of scams is very old fashioned. But it’s also very effective. Keep up your personal, face-to-face visits with your family and friends and neighbors. There is nothing that can replace a real conversation with a real human being. Ask questions of each other; find out from one another what is going on in our lives. Stop by for a coffee regularly! Especially retirees and seniors benefit from these conversations. They may be more lonely and isolated than younger folks. They often won’t be as aware of the dangers of virtual connections, and they may not have heard of the scams and schemes with which you are familiar. Don’t be afraid to ask financial questions: many of our seniors want to be generous with what the Lord entrusted to them. This is a wonderful impulse! But you can help the seniors in your life with good counsel on how to support Christian causes for maximum impact. Rejoice in the Lord always Victims of fraud or extortion often feel ashamed of their situation. If they’ve traded inappropriate pictures, they feel guilty and unlovable. If they’ve been defrauded of money, they feel foolish, as if it was their fault. If this is you, dear reader, please know that there is such great relief in telling someone your troubles – tell a friend, tell your parents, tell your elder. Do not keep your troubles private! It is a joy to be part of a church community that bears one another’s burdens. And if you have sinned in your interactions, confess your sins to the Lord! Our God is patient, loving, and compassionate. He is able to forgive anything that you have done, and He wants to assure you that because of Jesus’ work, your sins are removed as far as the east is from the west! You are washed, you are clean! 1 John 1:9 reminds us “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just, and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” Rejoice in the Lord always, and again I say rejoice! ***** 4 ways to avoid a financial fleecing How to invest carefully Modern scammers have learned how we can be enticed by the lure of large financial returns, especially when presented as exclusive opportunities for a small group of people. This scheme doesn’t only happen online; sometimes the most effective thieves are very popular figures in their own home town… until their schemes unravel. We might think these things only happen in big cities, but unfortunately, they occur wherever sinful men live in community. In my small town, dozens of seniors lost millions of dollars after investing with a person they trusted. So here are a few rules to avoid entrapment: 1. If something sounds too good to be true, don’t bite! Real investing is, by its nature, risky. Investors know that these are the risks associated with any business, and that success is not guaranteed in any endeavor. So, if someone promises you an above average return, and states that there is no risk – it’s a sure thing! – do not believe them! Even if a brother or friend states that you are guaranteed a 12% return, when banks are paying 3% or 4% interest on CD’s, do not believe them! It does not matter how many other people are praising this investment; it doesn’t matter if this opportunity is only available to a few carefully selected people. Don’t be fooled by a “guarantee.” It’s not a promise, it’s a lie. (P.S., if someone reads this, and disagrees, please email me and I’d be glad to talk this through with you!) 2. Don’t deposit money for other people When someone who doesn’t owe you money wants you to deposit cheques or money orders or wired funds into your bank account, don’t allow it! Thieves have developed all kinds of ruses and stories to explain why they need this service performed. It could be overpayment for something you are selling, or it could be a commission for a small task you did for them remotely (like writing an online review or forwarding messages to friends). Do not be distracted by the elaborate story, because part two of this scam is definitely coming. The scammer will ask for a portion of these funds back, as a commission, or a splitting of expenses, or explain that they made a mistake and sent you too much. The thief will hassle, hound, and threaten you until this amount is sent to him. Whatever portion you send back to him is likely to be the amount you are being robbed, because the cheque or money order or wired funds of the original deposit turn out to be fraudulent after a few weeks. Or they might take more, because they have used the transaction to get access to your bank account information. 3. If you don’t understand, don’t invest Investor Peter Lynch said: “If you can’t explain to a 10-year-old in two minutes or less why you own a stock, you shouldn’t own it.” The same principle applies to private investment opportunities. If you can’t understand how a company will be profitable, or how a company’s business plan works, or the technology behind the product or service, you may with confidence say: “I’m sorry, but I just don’t understand how your business is going to make money, and so I’m going to decline this opportunity.” And end that conversation! 4. Wealth grows slowly Ripoff artists normally promise not just a large return, but a quick investment increase. When you hear someone promise large increases in a short period of time, remember what Solomon wrote in Proverbs 13:11: “Wealth gained hastily will dwindle, but whoever gathers little by little will increase it.” He echoes that point in Proverbs 21:5: “The plans of the diligent lead surely to abundance, but everyone who is hasty comes only to poverty.” Marty VanDriel has been interested in helping folks "avoid getting ripped off" since he began listening to consumer advocate Clark Howard back in the ‘90s! An RP reader from the Fraser Valley alerted VanDriel to incidents of these scams among Canadian Christians. VanDriel's favorite financial advice is to read and reflect on the book of Proverbs regularly!...

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Pornography

Porn addiction isn’t just a guy thing

“... but you’re a girl!?” If I had a dollar for every time I heard that given the context that is about to follow, I’d have about twenty bucks. Sure, it isn’t much, but then again, I’ve only told my story twenty times. It never fails. I am a mother of two, and a wife to a wonderful, forgiving, and loving husband. I have been a member of the Church since I was baptized as an infant, and I am a sinner. This is a story about grace. That’s really all it can amount to. I would love to think that I got through all of this on my own accord and by my own strength, but that isn’t the case. It’s grace. ***** When I was still in my early teens, about twelve, I was flicking through the channels on our television. I was supposed to be babysitting, and well, I was – but all my siblings were in bed. Click, click, click. Nothing. And then, I saw IT. A naked couple on the screen. It wasn’t long before my parents arrived back home, and since our window was large enough to see them coming from literally a kilometer away, I had enough time to change the channel and bolt downstairs to my bed and begin to pretend I was sleeping. It began with curiosity I never told my parents about what I saw. And instead of confiding in those who had raised me from infancy, who I literally trusted with my life, I turned to our new computer and told Google instead. I was young enough that I didn’t understand what exactly I was searching for, but I was old enough to know how to work a keyboard and spell words. The next time I found myself home alone, I pulled up a chair, typed in a few key words and found what I had been looking for. What started off as “innocent” curiosity became a full-blown addiction. Minutes turned into hours, and the hours repeated themselves every couple days. I started to like what I was seeing and soon enough, it became a part of my daily routine. I started looking forward to those private moments, but in return, started hating myself, my body, and God. I would stay home as often as I could just to go on the computer. I watched soap operas instead of going to school, and one day, I put a computer in my room. I struggled on and off for years without anyone knowing. My battle began before unlimited wifi, before I had my own smartphone, Instagram and Snapchat account, or personal laptop. It was still difficult to find and pornography sites were “restricted” to those over 18 years. Now, it’s everywhere.  It’s been a little over one year since the last time I watched pornography. It’s been a very trying yet powerful year. I struggle with it every single day, multiple times per day. In the midst of my battle, I pushed God aside. I figured that if God wasn’t in the picture, I didn’t have to worry about whether or not what I was doing was sinful. I had convinced myself that He didn’t love me anyway, so what was the point of trying to make Him happy with me. As the distance between God and myself grew, the hatred I began to see in the mirror increased. I started to compare myself to the women I had seen on the screen; my skin wasn’t smooth enough, my breasts weren’t large enough, my legs weren’t skinny enough (I was a size zero!), my nose was too long, my teeth too pointy… the list could go on and on. I began to think that if I looked like the women on the screen, maybe I would have the love that they had too. The reality If only I had known the truth about the “love” that those women were experiencing. Plain and simple - porn is often drug-induced rape. Now, who in their right mind would actually want that? It all happened so fast.  One moment they would be meeting each other and the next moment they would be on the bed. But, I didn’t fully understand the truth behind the scenes of what I was watching, so I actually had myself convinced that that was what sex was like. I suppose since it was on the screen I could pretend that it was normal. Yet, it isn’t normal. I told my mother of my struggle last year, and she said something that I had never thought of before. She said “Those women on the screen, those men too, they are someone’s sister. Someone’s daughter, mother, brother and father. They are real people, with real families and real lives.” Bam. If any statement helped me through my battle the most, that was definitely a big contender. You have to think of it in real life, because it is real life. If you were to come across a couple having sex on the street, would you grab a chair, some popcorn and indulge yourself? Nope. And yet, what I was watching on the screen was just as real as that. Satan likes the dark I remember the first time I decided I was going to stop watching pornography. It lasted a week. I had stayed up late and at that time had access to a computer. I dare say that Satan works best at night. I even remember these words running through my brain: “Go on! One minute wouldn’t hurt”. Well, I had gone a full week and I was on the road to recovery, but I hadn’t found my strength in God at that time, and the one minute became an hour which became a daily routine. Again. Why even bother trying to stop? I would argue with myself, It’s impossible, anyway! I had become so invested in my guilty pleasure that it was easy enough to come up with stupid excuses to shut my conscience up. I knew that even though a part of me wanted to stop, a very large part of me didn’t. Even times when I would fall on my knees and pray for forgiveness, deep down I knew that I actually didn’t mean it. I was a pretty techy kid growing up, so no one actually found out about my addiction. I figured if no one really knew about it, and I could pretend that nothing was different, no one would suspect anything. There was a point in my life that I actually thought I just wouldn’t tell anyone. It impacted dating But then, I found myself in a serious relationship with a man whom I now call my husband. We had been dating for a few years when I told him. He was the first person I had ever told. I remember sitting in the car before I went in to see him, praying fervently to God that he wouldn’t break up with me and that he would forgive me. He did forgive me. We dated for a long time. And well, I would love to say that my experience with pornography did not affect our relationship but unfortunately it did. It was easy to convince myself that in order to feel loved I had to be touched. After all, that is what I had polluted my brain with for many previous years! We weren’t the definition of “innocent” in our relationship and I will take most of the responsibility for those actions. I could chalk it up to the fact that we were young, or that we dated for a long time, or maybe that our hormones were raging. And sure, those might have had an effect, but when it really comes down to the heart of the matter – it’s just that, the heart. My heart, and if I can speak on behalf of my husband, his too, were not centered on God. Mine didn’t pay attention to what God says love is: “patient, kind, slow to anger….” (1 Cor. 13). To me, love was attention from my boyfriend - any attention he wanted to give, and any attention I could take. I had tried to find satisfaction in a fellow sinner, instead of looking to our one, perfect and holy God. We went through periods of lust and other periods of just finding pure joy in each other’s company. Thankfully, with a wedding ahead, our time of engagement was focused where it should have been all along, and we began to enjoy each other as God’s forgiven children. It didn’t just stop with marriage There is a saying: “Satan will do anything he can before you are married to get you into bed, and anything he can do when you are married to get you out of it.” It is difficult for me to write this next part, but it’s part of my story. I watched pornography as a wife. I took matters into my own hands when I didn’t feel like sharing my feelings or frustrations with my husband. Mainly it was just because I was bored or lonely. It happened. I hate that it happened, but that doesn’t mean that it didn’t. If there were any part of this whole struggle I could wish never happened, this would be it. My husband is so forgiving. If there is any word I could use to describe him, that would be it. He has stood by me and encouraged me in my fight against pornography more times than I dare count. He is the one to point me to my Rock. I took one evening to share with him my struggles – every last detail – all the whos, whats, whens, whys and hows. He is now my partner in my fight and I know that he would leave everything if he knew that I was being tempted, to come and help me fight. It’s been a little over a year since I have last watched pornography. I am 25, and have struggled with it on and off for more than 10 years. It is still a daily struggle: every time I go to the beach, the mall, pull out my phone, go on Facebook, Instagram, the computer. Videos and images I watched as a teenager will suddenly appear in my mind as I am washing the dishes, doing the laundry, vacuuming, sitting in church, even praying! The struggle has not left me, and I dare say it never will. God’s grace I would love to say that I have all of this under control. I don’t. God does. One year ago, I put my battle in His hands and prayed with tears that He would take this cup from me. And praise be to God, He has. He has given me the strength I need to put my smartphone away, to turn off the laptop, to double check the ratings of shows before I go and watch them. He has strengthened my faith in his Son and His forgiveness. He has given me grace and love. I have found freedom in my walk, a spring back in my step and more love for my husband than I even thought possible. I remember sitting in church one Sunday hearing a sermon on the Lord’s Supper. At one point during the sermon, the minister asked us to picture Christ hanging on the cross – I don’t remember very much after that because I knew what he meant. Picture my sin hanging there on Christ’s shoulders. I put him there. I stood before him yelling “Crucify him! Crucify him!” That is the moment I realized it wasn’t impossible. I had Christ on my side, and he had conquered sin. My sin. He put it to death! For me. So I continue on, fighting, finding my hope in God’s promises: “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God” (John 3:16-18). “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). And as my wise mother has taught me, “Don’t be surprised by sin. Be surprised by grace.” Thanks mom. Advice from a former addict to you: Talk to your children/friends. Be the one to bring up the topic in a conversation. I often find it easier to talk about the “big topics” one on one rather than in a group. Ask them to be honest with you, and be quick to listen and slow to speak. Humble yourself as the parent/friend. Also, don’t assume that since you’ve talked to them once, they know and they won’t do it. We are all curious and sinners by nature. Pray with and for your children/friends/family. Set an example: Stay on top of what you and your children/friends watch/read. Are you setting a good example? It’s one thing to say, “Hey Jonny – don’t watch porn” but if they see you watching The Game of Thrones or even porn itself, you’re setting an example of how to be a hypocrite. Use your resources! For movies there’s www.kids-in-mind.com, and even the parents’ guide on www.imdb.com. And PluggedIn is a great resource to double check movies/books or even apps before you or your children watch them. Protect your computer. Get the laptops and smartphones out of bedrooms and into a public area. I know – it creates more clutter. But do you know what kind of clutter is more disgusting? A pornography filled mind. It’s worth a messy desk. Trust me. Password protect your wifi and change the password/turn off the wifi at a specific time at night. Don’t be afraid to discipline. Have an accountability partner. This one is tough because it requires you to be honest and open with someone. If you feel temptation, that is the time to talk with them. Not after you give in, but before that – when you feel like you might give in. As the accountability partner, pray for your friend/child. Uphold them and encourage them in their times of weakness. Encourage your children and friends in their inner beauty. Compliment them on their kindness or gentle spirit instead of their new jeans or new hairstyle. Teach each other how to put on the fruits of the Spirit instead of eyeliner and mascara. Teach your son how to look for the right kind of woman and how to put on the armor of God. If you are bored, find something to do that does not include a laptop or smartphone. The Bible is an excellent place to start. Speak highly of the love of God and show the love of God in your home. Instill in your, and your child’s heart, John 3:16-18. Model repentance to your children. For example, if you lose your temper and shout at them, ask their forgiveness. Let them see what seeking forgiveness, and turning to God in repentance looks like. Forgive. Forgive. Forgive. This article first appeared in the November/December 2016 issue of the magazine. To ensure accountability – that a writer is willing to stand behind what they write – RP doesn’t publish anonymous pieces, but for the nature of this article made an exception in this case....

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Politics

Perhaps you should run

Obedience belongs to us. The results belong to the Lord. ***** Every four years, for a brief season, nomination papers open and the question becomes concrete: who will step forward to govern our towns and cities? Budgets and bylaws will be passed, libraries and parks funded, streets and neighborhoods planned, and public moral judgments made. Decisions will be made. The question is, by whom, and according to what vision of justice and the public good? I write to suggest that some of you should step forward, and that those who do must let God’s Word govern the campaign and leave the result to the Lord. I write this while running for municipal council in my home city of Peterborough, Ontario. I do not write from the safety of hindsight. The campaign is underway, and whatever attention or pressure may come as election day approaches has not yet come. That is part of why I want to think clearly now. I have said that I am not running despite being a Christian, but because I am a Christian. I believe public office is a responsibility before God and a trust from the people. That means honesty, stewardship, justice, neighbor-love, and service. That confession must govern my campaign, my exercise of office if elected, and my response to the result if not. Furthermore, that confession raises a more basic question. Is Christian faith merely a private motive a candidate brings into politics, or is civil office itself under Christ? The prevailing ideal of religious neutrality draws the line there: Christians may hold office, but they must not insist that God’s Word governs the office. Scripture and our confessions reject that division. “I don’t have enough time” Perhaps your first objection is your calendar. You have a job, perhaps two. You have children. You serve as an elder or deacon, sit on a school board, help govern a Christian organization, teach Sunday school or catechism, care for aging parents, practice hospitality, and seek opportunities for evangelism. You already have more good work before you than hours in which to do it. Those responsibilities may be why you should not run. But municipal elections generally come only every four years. The opportunity to stand is not permanently available, and for many of us a truly quiet calendar is not a few months away but decades away. If we wait until our responsibilities have thinned out and life finally feels manageable, the nomination period will have closed and someone else will have stepped forward. Scripture warns us against burying w hat has been entrusted to us, and it tells us that whoever knows the good he ought to do and fails to do it sins. That does not mean every capable Christian is commanded to become a candidate. Capability is not identical to calling. But capability does create a responsibility to discern. I ran as a federal candidate in 2021. I did not win. Campaigning did take time. Yet I learned that public service need not simply subtract from family life. At times it can be woven into it. My family came with me to rallies, debates, and candidate events. They helped deliver literature. My oldest daughter baked cupcakes for the campaign. We traveled, talked, worked, and learned together. Time itself is finite, but family life is not simply a ledger in which every hour spent in public service is an hour stolen from one’s children. A child who comes to a debate, helps deliver flyers, watches his father speak with an opponent, or prays for an election is not necessarily being deprived of family life. He may be receiving a memorable form of Christian instruction. The campaign became part of our life together. My children saw that public responsibility was not merely something their father discussed at the dinner table. It was something a Christian family could practice. This must not be romanticized. A man who neglects his wife and children while claiming to save the country has misunderstood Christian service. A wife should not be steamrolled by political ambition, and children should not be treated as campaign props. Some families are in seasons when candidacy would plainly be irresponsible. Still, “I have a family” or “I am already serving” should not always end the discussion. When the cost became personal After the 2021 federal election, the Peterborough Public Library began hosting “Drag Queen Story Time” events for children. A friend and I organized two peaceful protests, one in September 2022 and another in January 2023. We said publicly that God made human beings male and female, that this created distinction is good, and that deliberately blurring it is harmful, particularly when children are involved. In the days before, during, and after the second protest, the opposition became much more intense and personal. Some people involved in the counter-protest found my employer through LinkedIn. They tweeted at the company, telephoned, and tried to have me fired. That was wicked behavior. I wish I could say that I met the pressure with calm confidence. I did not. When people began contacting my employer, the possible cost was no longer theoretical. I had a wife and nine children to provide for. I found myself thinking about what would happen if I lost my job and how I would continue caring for them. I was afraid, and I am ashamed that I did not trust God’s fatherly care more readily. Thankfully, I did not withdraw what I had said or abandon the stand we had taken, and I discovered then that willingness in principle, and steadiness under pressure, are not quite the same thing. Courage is not the absence of fear. It is obedience while fear is still present. In the end, I was not fired, although I was placed under pressure at work. That experience made me more active in seeking other employment. In time, an opportunity arose with ARPA Canada. The public advocacy that some people had tried to make a professional liability became an asset and part of the experience that fitted me for my present work. There was other good as well. My friend and I were quoted in the local newspaper saying plainly that God made human beings male and female, and that this is good. My friend was later interviewed on national radio, where he had a further opportunity to speak about the issue. The truth about God’s created order went out more widely than it otherwise might have. We did not persuade the library to stop hosting “Drag Queen Story Time,” so we did not achieve the immediate result we had sought. But silence did not have the last word. God has not promised that every Christian who speaks publicly will keep his job or quickly receive a better one. Faithful Christians have lost employment, income, professional standing, friendships, and much more. But, as Lord’s Day 10 teaches, “all things, in fact, come to us not by chance but by his fatherly hand.” I can now identify several ways the Lord used that period for good. At the time, I could not see them. That is often the nature of obedience. We are called to obey before we are shown what the Lord intends to do with it. An opportunity to speak plainly Running for office can give you the opportunity to share truth with people you might never otherwise communicate with. I am now in another campaign, and if attention increases as election day approaches, I expect some questions concerning my previous advocacy, and my Christian beliefs. I welcome those questions. If reporters, voters, or opponents ask me about abortion, transgender ideology, drag events directed at children, or my belief that Jesus Christ is Lord of public life, I hope to answer plainly. Public attention can bring pressure, but it can also widen the audience for truth. The concern is not that people may discover what I believe. The concern is whether, when pressed, I will speak with the clarity, charity, and confidence that those beliefs require. Honest scrutiny is not persecution. A candidate asks the public to entrust him with authority. Voters and journalists are entitled to ask about his record, beliefs, judgment, and character. Some criticism may be true and necessary for me to hear. A difficult question is not an attack simply because I would have preferred an easier one. There is, however, a subtler danger. A candidate can begin responding to opposition before it arrives. He imagines the headline, the social-media campaign, the accusation of bigotry, or the votes that may be lost. Then he edits himself in advance. No one has ordered him to deny what he believes. He simply learns to say less and less of substance. A Christian who had worked on many political campaigns once told me about a pro-life candidate who had spent years counseling women outside an abortion clinic. Her faith and concern for preborn children were central to why she was running, and the first draft of her brochure said so. Then came a series of individually plausible revisions. The campaign did not want her to appear to be a one-issue candidate. Voters needed to learn more about her family and background. Some of the material about abortion no longer seemed to fit the brochure’s tone. By about the tenth draft, the brochure described a brave and bold woman who would defend the oppressed, but it no longer told voters what she had spent years bravely doing. Nothing in the handout was an explicit lie. Yet the overall picture was no longer candid. A campaign message must be selective. It may not be deceptive. That is why the 9th Commandment matters so much. Prudence asks how, when, and where a relevant truth should be spoken. Fear asks how much truth can be removed while leaving every remaining sentence technically accurate. A candidate under the 9th Commandment The Heidelberg Catechism’s Lord’s Day 43, in unpacking the 9th Commandment, treats lying and deceit as works of the devil. We are taught that God is forbidding here not only false testimony, but also twisting another’s words, gossip, slander, and rash condemnation. Positively, the 9th Commandment requires us to love the truth, speak it candidly, and defend and advance our neighbor’s honor and reputation. That is a demanding political ethic. It means a Christian candidate not only shouldn’t tell explicit falsehoods, he mustn’t even deliberately cultivate a false impression. Obviously, a Christian candidate will not be able to include everything he believes in every campaign piece. But he should ask whether a reasonable voter would feel deceived if an omitted conviction became public the next day. When asked a direct and relevant question, he should answer it rather than hide behind words designed to leave opposite audiences with opposite impressions. The same commandment governs how we speak about our opponents. Christians on the political right are not immune to gossip, exaggeration, rash judgment, or caricature. We may call abortion the killing of preborn children. We may say that gender ideology rebels against the created order. We may identify attempts to have a man fired for lawful Christian speech as wicked. The 9th Commandment calls for moral clarity. We may not twist an opponent’s words, invent motives, repeat allegations we have not verified, or treat every person on the other side as though he were guilty of everything done by anyone associated with his cause. We may oppose a policy as foolish, unjust, destructive, or contrary to God’s law without pretending to know every motive in the heart of the person promoting it. The commandment also requires truthfulness about the office itself. Candidates should not promise powers the office does not possess. A municipal councillor must not pretend to be able to solve every social problem, command every public institution, or repair every failure of federal and provincial government. Exaggerating our own authority is also a form of false witness. Finally, the commandment applies when falsehood favors us. If supporters exaggerate our accomplishments, circulate an untrue allegation against an opponent, or attribute an endorsement we did not receive, we may not quietly enjoy the advantage. We should correct flattering falsehoods as readily as accusations made against us. The Christian candidate should be difficult to intimidate and difficult to provoke. He should refuse both cowardly concealment and slanderous combativeness. Why municipal office? Municipal politics may offer a particular opportunity for principled Christian service. Municipal elections in Ontario are non-partisan, so candidates do not run under formal party banners. That removes one important part of the machinery of compromise. A municipal councillor is not formally required to defend an entire federal or provincial platform, submit to a party leader, or vote according to the direction of a caucus whip. He can own his judgment and explain his vote issue by issue. That can make it easier to act as a principled Christian. It does not make faithfulness easy. There are still media narratives, activist groups, professional associations, donors, influential residents, council colleagues, city staff, and informal voting blocs. There is still the desire to be liked. There is still the fear of being treated as unreasonable, extreme, ignorant, or hateful. In some ways, municipal pressure can be more personal. There is no national party organization absorbing the criticism. The councillor meets his opponents at the grocery store, the arena, the library, and the school event. The people affected by his decisions may be his neighbors, former colleagues, customers, fellow church members, or parents whose children play with his own. Municipal independence therefore creates both an opportunity and a responsibility. A councillor has greater freedom to act according to principle, but he also has fewer excuses when he does not. Municipal government is also wonderfully concrete. It concerns public order, roads, taxes, libraries, parks, planning, policing budgets, infrastructure, and whether families can use public spaces in safety. Christian political involvement cannot be limited to dramatic protests or national controversies. We also need Christians who will read reports, steward tax dollars, protect neighborhoods, maintain good order, and carry out ordinary public duties faithfully. A Christian candidate should be prepared not only to advocate or protest, but to govern. Obedience and results The author, in front of where he seeks to serve: “A candidate should take the office seriously and take his campaign seriously too, genuinely seek to win. You want to win because winning provides an opportunity to govern. But victory must remain a means of service rather than becoming a god.” A phrase I once heard in a sermon has stayed with me: “Obedience belongs to us. The results belong to the Lord.” Proverbs 21:31 expresses the same truth: “The horse is prepared for the day of battle, but deliverance is of the Lord.” That horse must still be prepared. Confidence in providence is not an excuse for carelessness, passivity, or half-hearted work. A candidate should take the office seriously and take his campaign seriously too, genuinely seek to win. You want to win because winning provides an opportunity to govern. But victory must remain a means of service rather than becoming a god. Victory does not vindicate sinful methods, and defeat does not transform poor preparation, unnecessary harshness, or dishonesty into faithfulness. My loss in the 2021 federal election did not mean that the candidacy had been pointless. It formed my family, gave me experience, and contributed to later opportunities. Yet I could not know those results in advance. I was responsible to act faithfully and leave the consequences to God. The same is true now. I do not know whether I will win my municipal election. I do not know what attention or pressure may come before election day. I do know that Christ’s lordship will not be strengthened by my victory or weakened by my defeat. Perhaps you should run Our churches contain men who manage employees, read financial statements, chair meetings, teach clearly, withstand conflict, make difficult decisions, and carry heavy responsibilities. Some serve as elders or deacons. Others sit on school boards, own businesses, work in the trades, farm, practise law, teach, manage organizations, or serve in the professions. Those existing responsibilities may be reasons not to run, but they may also be evidence that God has given you gifts public office requires. You need not already be an expert in municipal law or public finance. Much of that can be learned. The question is not whether you are already a fully formed politician. It is whether the Lord has given you something your neighbors presently need. It is therefore worth asking whether refusing to step forward could itself sometimes be unfaithful. That question should not be answered quickly, but with prayer, Scripture, counsel from family and church leadership, and honest examination of motive. Are you declining because you already carry responsibilities that must not be abandoned, or because political office is public, costly, and likely to bring criticism? Are you guarding your family, or guarding your comfort? Are you exercising humility, or burying a talent? You may never have spare time. You may not feel fearless. You may lose. Do not confuse ambition with calling or candidacy with entitlement to office. But if, after prayer and counsel, you believe God is calling you to offer yourself as a candidate, step forward. Speak plainly. Tell the truth about yourself, your opponents, and the office. Defend your neighbor’s good name. Refuse to make public approval your master or electoral victory your god. Someone will govern your community, and that government will act from some moral vision. The question is which one. Obedience belongs to us. The results belong to the Lord. Paul Lawton wrote this while running for municipal council in Peterborough, Ontario. You can find his campaign website here. The sidebar article that accompanies his article in the Sept/Oct 2026 issue can be found below.   *****   Christ is Lord of the magistrate too The apostle John calls Jesus Christ “the ruler of the kings of the earth.” Psalm 2 commands kings and judges to serve the Lord with fear and to kiss the Son. Civil rulers are not autonomous authorities who may acknowledge God if they find it personally meaningful. They are servants who receive their authority from Him and will answer to Him. Belgic Confession Article 36 speaks with refreshing directness: “…because of the depravity of the human race, our good God has ordained kings, princes, and civil officers. He wants the world to be governed by laws and policies so that human lawlessness may be restrained and that everything may be conducted in good order among human beings.” The Confession does not stop at saying that government should keep traffic moving and prevent theft. It says that civil rulers are called “to contribute to the advancement of a society that is pleasing to God.” They are to act subject to God’s law, remove obstacles to the preaching of the gospel and divine worship, resist anti-Christian power, and do so while refraining from absolute authority and remaining within the office entrusted to them. This is neither statism nor religious neutrality. The magistrate does not administer the sacraments or exercise ecclesiastical discipline. Those responsibilities belong to Christ’s church. Yet civil rulers are not therefore free to act as though Christ has no claim on public life. They should acknowledge Christ, govern subject to God’s law, protect the free course of the Word, and resist anti-Christian power by the lawful means entrusted to their office. The magistrate must not usurp the government of the church, but neither may he pretend that civil government is religiously neutral. A Christian understanding of government therefore includes the restraint of evil, the protection of the good, the preservation of public order, the honoring of marriage and family, respect for private property, the protection of preborn children, and recognition of the created distinction between male and female. It also includes the restraint of government itself. Civil rulers are not saviors, and their authority is never absolute. Some of these matters are primarily the responsibility of federal or provincial government, rather than municipal. A city council cannot change Canada’s Criminal Code or determine federal abortion law, for example. But no municipal decision falls outside God’s moral order. At times the moral vision is unmistakable, as when councils fund Pride events, fly the Progress Pride flag on civic property, or use municipal bylaws to restrict the delivery of pro-life literature depicting the victims of abortion. More often, that moral vision is expressed less dramatically through decisions about libraries, public spaces, policing budgets, taxation, zoning, neighborhoods, and the treatment of families. In either case, council is acting from some view of the human person and of what a good society ought to be. Because Christ is Lord, politics matters. Because Christ is Savior, politics cannot save. That should make Christians more willing to serve and less willing to compromise. We can work seriously for a good political result without acting as though an election decides the fate of Christ’s kingdom....

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Being the Church

Real Talk: Work is worship

This episode can also be found on your favorite podcast platform: Spotify, Apple, Podbean, Amazon Music or on our website. Be sure to subscribe to our YouTube channel and our podcast profiles so you can be notified when new episodes are released. Please note that this transcript below was automatically generated and lightly edited so it may contain some errors. ***** Opening What if we've misunderstood work? For many Christians, faith feels clear on Sunday, but disconnected from Monday to Saturday. Yet most of our lives aren't lived in a church service, but in the workplace. And work is not neutral; it's formative, and it shapes our character, our decisions, and who we're becoming. That's why mentorship in business and leadership matters so much. People don't just need ideas; they need examples of faithful, God-honoring work in practice. In this episode, we're joined by Mark Wanders and Ben Nobels from Six Days, a new organization committed to helping Christians connect and grow in all their labors. We're talking about recovering a right understanding of work, not just as a job or a paycheck, but a place of mission and obedience to God in the everyday. A big thanks to our official sponsor Trivan for making this conversation possible. Now on to the show. Intro The world's changing fast, but what questions should we really be asking? You're listening to Real Talk, a podcast presented by Reformed Perspective, where we take God's Word and apply it to the nitty-gritty of life. Buckle up for real questions, real answers, and real direction. This is Real Talk. Lucas Holtvluwer Mark and Ben, welcome to the show. Great to have you guys here. Ben Nobels Thank you. Thank you so much. It's great to be here. LH Yeah, it's an honor and a privilege, man. Appreciate you guys making the time. And yeah, so today we're talking about work, as you guys would have just heard in the intro for the listeners. And these two gentlemen are from an organization called Six Days, and we'll get into more about what Six Days is doing and whatnot later in the episode. But we wanted to really center this episode, excuse me, on this idea of work and what it means to do your job every day, and how to ensure that that's connected to what we experience on Sundays, of course, and making sure our faith is intertwined with our work. So we've done some episodes in this before in terms of talking about entrepreneurship. We had the gentleman from Eagle Builders down here, and we kind of heard their story, and that was great as well. But this I thought was a great chance to get someone who's younger in the business world, a fellow younger guy in business, and then a more experienced vet, not old, but experienced vet, Mark, to kind of speak to some of the challenges that we face as Christians, maybe even specifically as Reformed Christians in the marketplace, whether that's building business, working for a business, or in the public sector, wherever God's called you, right? So, yeah, maybe if you guys just want to start off the top. How did you two kind of link up in this endeavor? I know your backstory perhaps is longer, but talk to us a little bit about the hole you saw in the marketplace or the problem you perceived, and what you guys kind of thought about that. BN Okay, very. It is a long story I'll try to keep it... But yeah, so it goes back to actually the beginning of last year when I started my business, and through a mutual connection, somehow by God's grace, I ended up on a phone call with this fella, and it was like totally happenstance. There, we've never chat chatted before ever, right?I don't think we've ever even met. I might have seen you around, but I think that's the extent of it. And we ended up on a phone conversation, and I was walking around my… I remember so clearly. I was walking around my backyard talking to this Mark fella. I was like, I don't even know who he is, but I like his ideas. And we were just chatting about work and all these different ideas, and then I brought up this concept that I had been thinking of for eight years, called Six Days, and we kind of latched onto it, and we ended up talking about it for like an hour, and again, never met the guy. Anyway, so that's that was where it started, and the concept of Six Days, I was working and just starting out a business and trying to grow it and just trying to figure out what it means to be a Christian entrepreneur. And then a couple days later, he texts me and he says, "You've got a lot going on. Would having a mentor help?” And I was like, "Yep, that sounds amazing.” I didn't even know that. I had no idea what a mentor was or what it would look like. I just knew that I needed something because I felt like I was kind of flying blind, just trying to make things up as I went along. And obviously, ChatGPT was helping me along, but there's only so much that AI can do, and only so much trust you can have in it. Anyway, so we ended up meeting monthly at his shop, and we would we would sit down, and Mark would mentor me and walk me through not just the business aspect, but also the relational aspect, where like how I interact with my wife, how I interact with my children, what it means to be a father while you're providing for your family. There are some really big lessons in there that have totally shaped the way that I have approached entrepreneurship and running a business, and also how that interacts with the rest of my life, and all from all from a very Bible centric perspective, and it's been such a blessing. LH Awesome. So you guys connect kind of right away off this first phone call. You kind of form this mentorship mentee, mentor mentee relationship there, but specific to the idea for six days, what was it exactly that you guys connected on, and what did you see that there was an opportunity for to help out people, well, most of us in the working world in in the church? BN Well, there was that aspect of where I was sitting, right? So, as a young guy, I had only ever worked for other people. I had done side hustles here and there, but that doesn't-they didn't really count. LH Not full time. BN Not full time ever. So he, there was there was this conversation about what is work really, as a Christian, like what when you're starting a business, what's your what's your goals and ambitions? How do you align them properly with the Word of God? How do you understand what the Word of God actually teaches? Because there's so many external implications, or external forces acting on people, obviously in the world and young guys who are very much connected on the internet, watching YouTube videos, listening to podcasts, not always Real Talk. LH No, not always, no. BN You know, sorry about that. But there's other podcasts too that we listen to, right? And there's so much influence. So how do we how do we kind of break away from that and not allow it to shape us, but allow scripture to shape us as we do these things. LH So you're wrestling through all that as a young man, in your first year of business. BN Yeah, and one of the things that we both… Mark Wanders You see where I had to slow him down a little bit? No, but there was so many things going on in the world. We had this one hour conversation, yeah, and I'm like, whoa, this guy's got so many moving parts here. Let's just let's just calm this down. And then inside of this first in-person meeting that we had, I heard about. First of all, he was working in a factory, right? BN Yeah, kind of. MW Of sorts. Sort of. You were doing like what you liked, sort of. But then he had a business that he was starting. It was more like a side hustle at the time, and then and then I heard about this six days thing that had been shelved, sitting up there for eight years? And when he kind of unpacked it for me, I was like, "What are you doing? Like this thing needs to come off the shelf. Give it some legs, and or give it some wings, really. And let's see this thing fly.” I did not know he'd invite me into the, the ring, so to speak. But that was where he was at. So we sat down with these multiple strands of ideas, and we dialed it down and said, "All right, let's start somewhere. Like you've got a lot of moving parts. Let's take this thing and unpack it.” Not one at a time, but sometimes one at a time. LH What drew you to the idea originally when you guys were talking? MW Well, I mean, I did like his passion. I mean, he was passionate on the phone, and he was also frustrated. I could hear it in his voice because he was working for somebody. I mean, there's nothing wrong with working for somebody, but when like, I think when there's an entrepreneurial fire in you, you might as well feed that, and I could I could sense that in him, and um, that's where I was like, this guy needs to be kind of unchained, like out of out of where he's at… LH Let him loose! MW Yeah, and he had a lot of creativity and a lot of excitement. I'm like, I'm like, that needs to be like that can be channeled like where could that go right? Within our first few meetings too we also said like we set some goals and he was he was exceeding them. He’s like I want to move into for example three days of doing my own thing and it was like no time it was five and he's like I'm giving my boss notification and so on, and he stepped up, stepped up, stepped up every time, and that was that was impressive to see that, and I was like, exciting to be alongside that, and in the midst of this business starting up that he had of his own, Sender Creative, right, was also the Six Days that started to mobilize, but that was still a lot of from pulling it off the shelf. It needed some structure put around it, right, to get it to be formatted towards public presentation, so to speak. BN Yeah, and in that initial conversation, I think we both kind of latched onto this concept that work is worshp. MW Yes, there was that was an alignment there for sure. You and I were like, "Whoa, yeah, 100%.” I'm like, "This is a young guy understanding that you worship on Sunday, and then that flows into your week.” Yeah, like that is so good. So we had an alignment there, yeah, which was also felt on the on the phone. We're just you know when you pick up the phone with somebody and you all of a sudden you have these alignment things. You're like, okay, this is good. Here is not only say for an excitement to do something with our work, but also when you are bound up in like the foundational pieces of the anchor in Jesus Christ. And we had that, and I was also excited about that in a young guy, young family, young guy, big ideas, and grounded in Christ. So, like, here is a guy, you know, if… and even the idea to say, "Hey, can I mentor you?” type of thing, it was newer for me. I had done it more in the in the say Bible studies and church setting, discipleship groups, that kind of thing. But in the business setting, was less, and just the fact I'm like, okay, well, I think I've gone a few steps ahead of you in business and so on. Maybe there's something here that.. LH You could help him with. BN Oh yeah, I jumped at the opportunity. MW And it's interesting. You also mentioned because you already tied in family and faith. So I mean, it's really hard to pull apart. Well, work is over here, family's over there, or even just marriage. If you don't have a family, you got your work, your family, your marriage, your faith, and they don't. They're not all these separate boxes, separate spheres. They all overlap. Right, and that's where when we were in the mentoring setting, it's taking all those things. And sometimes we would spend a whole session talking about, "Hey, here's what's going on at home. I got some... BN I goofed up, Mark. Mark, I did this thing… that was funny. I did this thing, and my wife - I don't know what's going on. Mark's like, “Ben, just walk me through what you did.” MW So, how many guys are running companies, and if there's a frustration at home, it directly impacts your work? LH Probably quite a few. MW And then to just lean into somebody and saying like, "Is this okay? or "Where did I screw up?” or "Whoa, did I screw up? How do I deal with it?” So, and I think that that becomes like the mentorship, discipleship. I mean, it's a biblical thing. Discipling, you know, the older discipling the younger, whether it's women or men, and in the context of work, I think that that's a beautiful thing, and then the recognition of that as well. LH Okay. So you guys link up, and you're both. I mean, you're definitely benefiting from it. I'm sure you enjoyed providing that that counsel and that that mentorship as well. But specifically on the this idea of Six Days, like, what is it, and what is it? Why is it put out there in reaction to? Like, because you guys were able to kind of just do this somewhat, you know, naturally, and there wasn't any sort of structure in place to make that happen. But do you see like the need for more mentorship or more connection, or like what kind of drew you to this whole idea? Maybe just explain a little bit about what Six Days has going on that way. BN Yeah, well, a lot of it comes from my own struggles through growing up, becoming a man, having my own family, and providing for them. Right? You kind of you end up very easily having a perspective about what work is. And it's not always right. And if it's not guided, it chances are it will be wrong. So there was a there was a gap there where I knew that the Bible said stuff about work. I just didn't fully understand what it was or how to apply it. So there was that kind of tension there for me, and the mentorship that Mark gave me, and as he was giving it to me, the Six Days ball started really turning right because I was just like, oh my goodness, what a what a blessing this is! Like, okay, what about those people who might have been in a similar situation and not had the access to something like this, right? And then I was just like, okay, this whole Six Days idea that goes way back eight years. The idea was originally just a just a directory, right? Just to help people find businesses, help businesses find people. I want to roll that into it for sure. Like that needs to be a part of it because if we're going to build an online community centered around businesses in our circles, what more benefit could we really bring people than making those connections between people who have experience, and there's tons of guys in our circles, tons of business owners with just unreal amounts of experience and wisdom, and they would probably love to have opportunities to share that with other people. So that just became the next kind of part of the vision of what it what benefit it could bring, right. So I was like, I'm not just going to build this website for people to connect. I was like, how, how, like, what's the point if there's no broader vision? So what's the next step, the mentorship thing. And then there were some other talks about how else, how else it could really bless people. And one of them was, or one of the other ones, was helping people understand what work is as a Christian. I knew I struggled with understanding that, and I still don't have all the answers, of course. But I'm on a journey right now. I want to find people, and I want to learn, and I want to share what I learn with other people as well. So it's uh, yeah the the The potential is huge for that area. MW I want to throw something in too, Lucas. You were saying the benefit to Ben. Yeah. But there's always a benefit to like it's a mutual benefit for sure. It's huge there. Like in the meantime, there was a lot of growth in my own life because there's the constant, you know, old saying: when you when you teach it, you learn it twice. So even just to review, to think about, to be challenged with what's going on in his world, and then self reflecting on that as well. That's huge. So, you know, discipleship, mentoring, whatever it is, there is that mutual piece to it where there's a growth in your own life as well. And again, the attraction with Six Days being, you know, as it says right on the on the homepage, hub for Christian businesses, really like that. It has the invitation there to be the place that you can find other Christian businesses, yeah. Which I think it could be some are just like, "Hey, I got a spot to place an ad. Great.” And they're not thinking about the let's say the mutual aspect of the mentoring and the coming alongside or the you know helping out when stuck and so on. And I think that's where that still has to be exposed a little bit, and that's where first it's building up a little bit of the community, yeah, and then you know bringing that community along towards greater ideas, which also comes out through the newsletter.. there's a weekly or monthly. What is it? A monthly? BN I don't really have a schedule. Just kind of send out some emails when I feel like it. LH When you feel it's fun. BN No, once a month is the plan. Once every two weeks is kind of what's happening, just because there are things moving and announcements and stuff. So it's not always there's different aspects. LH So there's, if I'm hearing you guys correctly, there's kind of three things I'm hearing so far. There's this initial connection, a directory portion of it, essentially, right? There's the need for like businesses to know if other businesses exist around them who are Christians who could be complementary or like you know if you're in the trades as an easy example, and you're a drywall, and you know there's a plumber over here, and like so that kind of thing. We have that on a lighter level, I would say. Like if I think about our context here in Southern Ontario, you kind of know what some of the different Reformed businesses are, even just general Christian businesses, right? Because it's not like a strictly Reformed thing at this point, and that's kind of I don't know if that's to be determined, or we'll see where that kind of goes. But there's so there's that connection element there, right? And then there's the kind of the content side of it too, of just like pushing out like thought pieces. Like because I think you had a devotional I saw online a while back, so kind of that element, which is cool, like getting people to think about it and start their start their Friday reading a little what a blurb about how their job could connect to the scripture and whatnot. Yeah, yeah. And then there's so we got the we got the two aspects there, and those and those are important too, right? And then the third one would be that mentorship as well, that discipleship that you guys talk about, and kind of that's again this is initial stages of you guys getting this off the ground. So sounds like a lot of these are just cool ideas to kind of put out there. But would it be fair to say that you kind of got to get that initial connection and buy-in from people in order to make this make this a thing? BN Yes, yes, and there's a financial aspect of it as well, right? In order to really make the most of what's all available, in order to make connections and to do all this stuff, there needs to be some element at play there, where we can actually support people doing the mentorships, right? So part of part of what I want to do is like sponsor people who are going through a mentorship with somebody, right? In some cases, the mentor and mentee, like that's just a friendship, sort of a mutual beneficial. But in some cases, I think that there's a ton of potential for a paid position as a mentor, and I would love to see funding for that kind of thing happen. LH Do you think that mentors would go for that? Like I don't know. Like I'd be interested what you think about that, Mark. If you guys have talked about that idea because I feel like most mentors are not hurting for money, but they would love to give away. MW I’ve been wrestling with that. I kind of have something in the making right now, and I've been tossing around: is it is it something you put out there as a ministry with like without a cost? Is it something you charge for? And sometimes the free is not always an attraction because well, free is non-committal, so that's actually a trail we're on right now. LH You got to make a threshold there. MW And what is the threshold? LH Yeah, I know you can't make it too easy. I would also I would maybe flip it and say like, if you want to be mentored, you got to pony up a little bit. BN Oh, absolutely, yeah. LH But like the mentors themselves, I feel like they're just going to give if they like to give, right? So, if you guys can be a connection point for like people who are both learn, like I mean, like you said, it's mutually beneficial, right? People seeking to learn from each other, both mentor mentee. Like that's, I think that's a cool idea, and that's something we probably don't have enough of. MW What's kind of cool though is also as an older fellow, there's still people older than me, but when you see the younger generation moving forward in business, so the mentor usually is going to be older than the mentee, and my wife and I have done marriage mentoring for years, and we usually like to see couples that are about 10 years ahead mentoring another couple. So if you'd use that same principle in business, you got to be about 10 years up on the other guy. There's nothing more encouraging than to see young guys in business do well and like, “hey, is there any way I can be part of that?” So that is also a little bit of the reward there, because it's a tough economy, it's a tough country to live in, it's a tough province to live in, things are expensive. So if you'd be like, hey, I could save you a little bit of the journey over here, like don't go there, or that's not going to be helpful, or just here's some footings on which to stand as you as you right, and you save a lot of time and energy, and then time is you know a money component there that is also good for older men to say - older men, older women - to be that place in the life of a younger Christian business owner and saying how can I see you flourish, right? So that's exciting as well for an older generation, and I think that could be part of the attraction. Again, we're these are some of the formation pieces, but if Six Days could also be attracting, hey, guys who are saying, “I'll throw my hat in the ring. I've done this for a few decades, and let me know if somebody needs help in this area.” Put some prerequisites around that. What's what are the where do we mentor up to, right? Yeah. So that's part of the attraction that we want to see as well. So that'd be amazing. BN But, at the very least, to just encourage it at the like at basic levels, the concept and the need for mentorship is real. Our culture has said, "Hey, I got my phone, I got ChatGPT, I got all my podcasts, and the Alex Hermosie, and I'm just going to watch these videos, and I'm going to start my business, and that's how I'm going to do it. That's where I was. That's where I started, and then I was I was just given this glimpse into okay. Here's a real human being who's lived through these things, who has a good solid grasp on scripture and can read that into it. The work that you're doing every day is now completely changed. LH Definitely. BN As a Christian, it's a we're doing something different every day. MW Co-creators. BN We are co-creators with the Almighty God. We are taking the blessings that He gives us, and we're multiplying them in a lot of cases, and we're using them to the benefit of others in service to Him, ultimately. LH Yeah, but in doing that, you still need to be as wise as serpents, innocent as doves, and we can all like you can have - I don't want to say Christianese too much - but like there can be, yeah, you can put a bit of a Christianese spin on it, whatever. You still have to go out there and compete in the marketplace. Real life still hits you in the face, and you still got to make a paycheck, sort of thing. BN But are we are we outsourcing our thinking? Yeah, I that's what I'm worried about. LH I would agree. I think there's a danger to that. And so many resources online are like completely secular. But they had like Hermosie as a guy I listen to all the time. Totally got great business advice. But he's not a Christian. BN He's got some bad business advice too. If you're coming at it from a Christian perspective. LH Sure. BN I would argue, there's some things that he said where I was just like, I don't know if a Christian should be following that example, right? and that's where I think there's an opportunity as well. Is yeah, not outsourcing our thinking, like I said, and this is what you guys are doing too here at Real Talk. Like you're taking these concepts, you're taking these people, bringing them in, and just saying like, let's have this discussion because it all needs to happen and yeah, we're in a crazy time in the world where you can post a picture online and 1000s of people will see it, and it's so easy to connect with other people right now, it's crazy, but it's all digital. So let's encourage that in person connection as well. So it's both fronts. Let's hit them both. That's the exciting part. LH I think so. Yeah, as a young guy in business, like knowing that there's other people out there that would be interested in you know giving that advice or whatever, like in community, right? Like that's a whole, huge aspect to what I think you guys are trying to solve for. MW And even if the even if the business wisdom does come from a non-Christian source, that you are also being discipled in discernment. You're extracting the nuggets, and leaving behind what is not godly, not helpful, whatever, right? So that wisdom and discernment comes when you're spending time with spiritual insight, right? LH Well, we have such a like a wealth, like literally wealth within our circles, but like just a wealth of businesses, all these different types, like much higher ratio of business owners than the average public, even, right? Like for guys in business specifically, but even those just in the working world, like if you're in a given trade or you're whatever, a teacher, nurse, like fireman, whatever. There's so many people we know in our churches who also would have the same job. We could give you some advice on how to kind of level up in your career and become better at what you do, sort of thing, right? And having that place to kind of go for that initial, like, oh, who does this again oh okay these people cool yeah let's connect. BN That's all part of the story too right like I've in multiple scenarios it was like I need a business I know I'd love to work for somebody with inner circles I'd love to do this I'd need to hire a plumber I didn't know where to go and that's kind of where part of where it stemmed from. MW And maybe break down a little bit of the, and maybe it's an older mindset, but where we used to kind of build all our own castles and we just set them all beside each other. And how are you doing with yours? And I'm doing with mine. Sometimes it's even look over the shoulder and do the comparison game, as opposed to saying let's crack open our books and how we do this, and yeah, let's see you do well and be excited when someone else does well too. And I think that's a little bit of vulnerability there that we're not always used to. And I think the younger generation is a little bit more of a we thing than a me thing. I think there is a bit more. Let us do this together as opposed to I am going to do this over here on my own. LH Yeah, it is kind of actually a contrast that way, though, because like by like the older generations, they were very good at building institutions, churches, schools, etc. We may or may not have lost some of that inertia or whatever, right? Like, there's some draining support for schools, especially in this area, right? It's like, oh, okay, like, but then I also agree with you that there is more of a we attitude, maybe just in the business front or something too. So it's kind of like two curtains going in different directions. MW You wonder when they were building the churches and schools. I think back home they still had their own gig going on, bu. LH You could be right but there is a lot of intermingling… MW I'm not saying there wasn't any sharing. I'm just saying yeah there was a lot of standalone. LH They put up the walls. MW Yeah, yeah. There were walls put up, and I do think we're seeing that. Like we're gonna, we're - let's face it, we're gonna need each other into the future of what our country is facing. LH Yeah, I agree. MW Times are hard, things are expensive, and it's gonna be leaning in and lending a hand in whatever way, shape, or form that that that looks like. BN Exactly. MW And there is that encouragement of seeing people work together. Like what? Like you were saying earlier, right? You're in these groups on a regular basis that that you meet together and you share the difficulties going on. Like what a what a beautiful set that setup that is for Christian business minds to just sit there, even if it's in the pain of one guy going, okay, what do I do? Yeah, you're not alone in your office or in your bedroom going, how do I provide for my family? You've got six other guys around you that are saying, hey, we've got your back, and let's work through this, right? LH Well, because like we talk about this a lot in preparing for this episode, like how much of a formation zone that work is right, like you're putting, you know, typically at least 40 hours a week in, sort of thing, right? Yep. So that's so much time, and like, do we think about that enough? MW Yes. LH How much it’s forming us, right? BN How much it's forming us, and how much it displays who we are, right? It's a both and, and that's where the mentorship comes in as well. Where I'm walking along. I keep thinking back to the like the apprentice style of learning a trade, right? You're not just… like in back in the day. They often would have lived together. They would have done life together. And this actually also goes back to the recent Reformed Perspective article. Generational businesses, like the importance of walking alongside your children as they're walking, watching you do your business and see how you interact with a difficult customer and how you display honesty and you fix your mistakes that you make honestly, etc. Like the examples could keep going, but like how often is that actually happening? And the mentorship, it's kind of a snippet of that, right? We were only meeting for, I mean, we said like an hour, but it was always two or three hours a month, because we're both talkers, as you can tell. LH Yeah, that makes three of us. BN Oh man. But yeah, you get a snippet of that, and it's just like okay, I can I can speak from my experience. What are you being challenged by? Back in the day, they would have lived together, and the apprentice would look to the master for like learning how to do the skill, learn the trade, but also how to do life, how to take care of their family, be a parent, how to be just a good community member, LH And we have some of that today still, absolutely, but we could do more of that as well. BN I think so. I think we, I think, I think we have some of it, but I think like when you when it comes to the accessibility of technology and information, I think we can give ourselves the feeling that we're getting that, but we're not actually getting it. We're just watching a video. That's where my concern is too. Where it's like, oh yeah, I got all this information. Yeah, but you're not you're not doing it with somebody. There's a big difference between being taught and being mentored. LH Yeah, yeah. No, I know what you mean. There's no, it's not dialogical. It's not back and forth. You're not like reinforcing each other. And oh, okay, yeah. If I learn this lesson, then I have this question for you. BN Yeah. LH Then I come back with that question. You go, I hadn't thought about that. And then here's a new lesson that way. And then yeah, you kind of like keep working it out that way too. BN Totally, yeah. LH Yeah. Okay, so I think okay, so we talked a lot about like kind of what the need was for this kind of service, and so I think it's really cool what you guys are doing there. Maybe a little bit more on this topic of treating work as the primary place of obedience. I think this is a question that we should kind of consider. Like, what does it mean to do that exactly? I know you guys had spent some time thinking about that, maybe, but what does it mean? Treating work as the primary place of obedience. MW I think primary might be, maybe, misleading? It might be too strong. Primary, as in like primary formation. Of course, would happen within the home. And then blessed by your weekly worship. But let's face it. I mean, even what the entity is called Six Days. There are six days you shall labor, and one you rest. So we are spending a significant amount of time doing our work. So it's within that space, and let's not even look at work as say the paycheck now, or the entity, or the enterprise, or the business, but think about work in all the tasks that we do throughout the week. We also rest from our home labors, other than your basic needs on a Sunday, right? A little bit of cooking or whatever, take care of the kids, whatever you need to do. But we're stopping, like the yard work, the cleaning, the fixing, the repairs, you name it. So, work being the obedience there, a primary one of them, as the place of obedience would be like I'm thinking of Christ being our master. Like it is the Lord Christ you are serving. So, and that's pertaining to work. So, that being the case, there's going to be a holy obedience that you would have also as you conduct yourself, and that's a learned and a maturing thing because I think back to years ago how I may have treated people that I'd want to say that was not a good way to do that, right? And you grow in that. And how to forgive quickly, how to take ownership. What, who are the people who are under me that I'm responsible for? Am I clear in my language? Am I clear in my instructions? And part of the taking ownership is even just instead of pushing the blame on someone else, pointing the blame and saying, "No, that that's actually on me. I'll take responsibility.” Especially if you're a business owner, “where did I fail to communicate?” So it's so easy to point the finger and blame on someone else, which is going right back to the garden, right? Like she did, like right, and we go there so quickly. So work is going to be a place where we do a lot of neat things and build a lot of cool stuff, but it's going to be a place where there's a lot of mess ups too. LH Yeah, you feel that pain or the pain point, the friction every day. MW And work has, of course, the burden of the curse now, which is redeemed in Jesus. But there's the reality of living in a world that's still weighted heavy by sin and even our own sinful desires that can throw us off in any given day, where we're going to be working in those relationships that are close and regular, and sometimes, hey, you're in my space bubble, right? Or rubbing shoulders, or even just the quiet annoyances, whatever it might be, and I think in those places is where God tests us. Think of the fruit of the spirit, right? The love and the joy and the peace and the patience. Like these are all things that are stretched when you're in close proximity to others. So a lived obedience in the workplace. So, if I think about if God gives us this work to do, how are you representing me there, even under the circumstances of being very difficult? So that's where the obedience piece comes in, and then put all of the, of the externals of like difficult economy, and maybe your dollar doesn't go as far as it used to. And will you trust me in this? So work is so shaping in that as well. Like, are you willing to give your first fruits back to me? Type of thing, right? So all of that is in the space where obedience is. Will you take this good gift of what I give you in your health, able to generate, and will you also turn around and serve me with that? Like honor the Lord with your wealth, right? As the verse goes. So that's kind of the right the word perspective of where I'm seeing it. I don't know if you want to add something to that. BN When you when you say trust, like that strikes a chord for me, at least. Like in especially in the beginning, going from… I say this to a lot of people who are considering starting businesses or have started businesses. Something that like a big lesson that I learned is I like you have to trust when you're starting a business. It is a different kind of trust, MW Starting and going. BN Starting and going, of course, as you go along, because before there was there was like there was somebody in between the… LH Layer. BN There's a layer, right? Safety layer. There's like there's a safety layer. I was like, okay, my boss, he's gonna keep me busy. He's gonna make sure I'm being paid and my kids are being fed as a result. Then you start something and you start to think, no, this is it's just me and you, God. Like I need you, and the amount of times I prayed those words, I need you when I was starting my business with tears in my eyes, just because of the like the fear of it and the trust that came as a result of that. Like that has been it has been such a blessing. Then that's another aspect of - a lot of people don't really talk about much, I haven't heard it, at least - is that like starting a company, working, or being an entrepreneur, it can have a significant impact on your on your walk with God, positive or negative. For myself, it's been very positive. LH Was easy for it to be quite negative, though. BN It would be very easy. LH Totally suck all the life out of you into your business. BN Yeah, yeah, and I take zero credit. By the grace of God alone. My thankfulness and trust in Him have grown significantly as a result of this journey and partially because of people who came and walked beside me, like what a blessing that is. And it's yeah, it's totally… What what I'm getting at is that formation that happens at work can be significantly impacting, or can significantly impact your faith. LH Totally, it's such a testing ground, right? Like maybe I said it too strongly with the primary portion of it, right? Because I agree, obviously home and church are those are foundational, but like it's just from a where you spend your time perspective, like you're getting tested there, you know, five days a week generally. It's also a huge witness opportunity, and like I, yeah, I was just thinking as you were kind of explaining that, Mark and Ben as well too. But like, what if for like your home visit, you know how if you go apply for a job and you got to call the references or the references get called whatever, if your elders called like three or five of your coworkers or your employees, or clients, yeah, or suppliers, anybody. MW Like I work with this guy. Here's three people, call them, and so see what they think. I do a little interview here, and then we'll come up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Interesting. It would almost raise the fire. It's like, whoa, right? LH Yeah, but like just thinking about that example in my head, I was like, yeah, that really like brings it home for me. I'm like, yeah, what do your people think of you, or what do your coworkers think of? BN But if you're if that's what it would require for you to do something right, then your faith there's something wrong with your understanding of who God is. He’s watching. MW That’s true but I think like we're kind of like we forget. Yeah, so we go out the next day. Well, that was a good day. I kind of like I did one up for God. Like so, I can just I can just I'm gonna run my own for a while here, and then we go run on our own, and we like trip and fall all over the place. So we're right back to like right. I actually need God, and we like I'm going through the Exodus and Leviticus right now in the Old Testament, and like so many times, you're like you, you dumb Israelites. Wait a minute! LH Oh, that's me. Oh no. MW There I am. Like you just got delivered. You just like through the sea, the food, the water, the manna. Like how many things? And they grumble, grumble, grumble, and like even on that end of it, it's so quick that we can be like… BN God sends all these people to hold them accountable, right? And that's something that we didn't really touch on earlier about the whole mentorship thing, the accountability that comes from that is actually probably one of the more important parts. It's easy to forget, but so we did our mentorship kind of year, and immediately after, I started noticing some screws coming loose in all the processes that I had set up and all the things that I had had started doing really well. Like I need my time with Mark because at least I'm at least I'm doing it for him, right? MW So, what that does as we represent Christ is like actually there's an there's an accountability to God. So then we are called as the physical representation of Jesus in each other's lives, right? Like, hey, like we are the body. So here we are holding each other accountable. It was also again a mutual thing. I got Ben showing up. I can't say “Ben, you got to do this in your life” but I'm over here doing that, right? That doesn't work. So there's this whole mental thing going on. You're doing like the accountability also becomes your own. So inside of that that mentoring… LH You point each other back to Christ. Awesome. MW I was thinking too. Also, just and the obedience piece is for guys anyway. And I know this was a big one in my life. Was sometimes we take our work to the to the ultimate level. Like we're like, work is what it is. Like, work is top. And like, I would, I tend to work a lot, and it was like workaholic kind of slip in. And I think there too, if you're talking about obedience, is to recognize where it is that I might actually lean in too strong and think it's me or my work is everything. Lean into my work for like even guys may escape in their work. Like I don't want to deal with it. I'm just going to work. LH Yep. MW Whether it's long hours working the shop, wherever it is. So I think there's a piece there that to also be able to stop working not only on the day of rest, of course, but also like where are the portions of my day? Okay, I've put in my time, and I do need to spend time with wife or children or whatever else it is, because otherwise there's that element of escapism or my work is my everything, right? So there's that obedience there too, which I think again, if you know that within yourself, to kind of hold that in check, or have that accountability thing, say like, right, I've got this thing going on, I find myself working all the time. LH Yeah, well, and also defining what the work is too, right? Because I think obviously in today's day and age, we have a very like compartmentalized view of work in terms of like this is my normal nine to five or whatever, right? But like you were mentioning earlier, Ben, in terms of like how we used to work a lot more in community, like kind of pre-industrial revolution sort of thing too. I think Nancy Pearcey has a book on that. I think it was in the Total Truth book. I can't remember exactly, but kind of just talking about, yeah, how that's it was so much different, and families were all working together, right? So obviously we get away from that with the change in technology and over the last few hundred years, but like for us as Christians to think, think hard and long about this. To be like, hey, like, yeah. How much time do I want to put into my daily endeavor that way? And what other responsibilities do I have in the home front, specifically as guys? Because I agree with you. It's very… MW Or more church, right? Or school? Where like there might be other places that I can be called. And the hard thing is, you mentioned nine to five, but the hard thing is when you own your own business. When you yeah, you actually can flex those hours. You can't have the shop nearby, or the offices nearby, or in your home, or whatever it is BN On your phone, MW And you're trickling out there, and you're spending the time there. So just a caution to say, well, how am I guarding against leaking into my work all the time? Because it is not a nine to five. LH It's the benefit of like it can be more like part of your life, which is it feels more natural and nice that way. I guess you're not like oh I'm like doing a long commute and I'm doing a nine to five, doing a long commute back, but also it can just never end as well. So you have to be careful with that. MW Think of the farmer where he's up. The farm. Yeah, totally 4:30 in the morning and you're still doing work at seven eight at night sometimes right, or more. And seasonal. Like we live in Ontario here like life is seasonal so there's an urgency there all the time it's go go go go you've only got from you know this to you know April May to October November it's go go go and then the snow comes and then you got to do all the repairs and then do it all over again, right? Like, so we are seasonal. You go down south, we've been in some of the warmer climates, and it's like, yeah, we'll get it tomorrow because they can. Yeah, we don't always have the tomorrow. LH We got the work ethic, that's not a problem. No, that's right. But it's like we got all this effort and energy. But it's like, how are we spending it, and like, are we being wise with it, right? And yeah, I think that mentorship and that accountability is great for helping channel that way. BN Absolutely, and it doesn't always have to be like we were talking about earlier, it doesn't always have to be one on one, and sometimes it's a group setting. LH Local business group, whatever. BN Right. So you were talking about a local group of guys that you meet with. I have a similar thing that recently got started up, and it's been it's been such a blessing. Like we've only met twice, but already to even just today we had our second meeting. I learned something from each person that was there, and we do that accountability thing as well, where we each commit to doing something for the next week or for the next meeting. And now the accountability is real. Like you've got eight guys, seven guys, who you're gonna are you gonna go to the next meeting and say I didn't, I didn't even try, right? LH You feel the pressure. BN The pressure’s on. But not just that. Like we had a conversation about giving and how like as business owners, how do you how do you give? How do you tithe? What's that? What does that look like? Because it does change in in that new kind of circumstance that you might find yourself in. And I was so inspired by one of the guys who was talking about his time as a deacon. What that taught him, what the need is, and it changed the way he gave. MW There's the old saying, "Give till it hurts.” I don't know if we always do that. BN I don't. I don't think we do. LH Well, it reminds me. You saying that reminds me that piece, well, there was two pieces in RP over the last year, year half or so. Marty VanDriel, the assistant editor over there had a piece on this whole like corporate tithing sort of thing, and then Bruce DeBoer, the chairman for the board of RP, had a great piece more recently on their kind of approach of like giving like the 1% off the top, which ends up like trickling down to be about 10% or whatever. But like it's just that that faith of giving it up front. So different ways to do it, but I think like thinking creatively and what works for your business cycle and cash flow cycle and all that. Like it's cool to think about those things and it's important to think about those things and encourage each other to be yeah like you say give until it hurts like don't just give a little bit here. Like think about yeah don't think about your business just as like this, like I'm just gonna make tons of money and give it away, sort of thing. But like, yes, it can generate profit. It should generate profit. It needs to generate profit. But like, that's a piece of it. And then also think about all the lives you can impact. BN Yeah, and be strategic about it. Right? There's efficient ways to give. There's strategic ways to maybe withhold giving because the future there's something happening that could potentially… right there's all these different…. LH Give in services of what you do BN There’s all different ways to give. I think that the in person giving of time I mean personally that's a struggle for me I like that's something that I know I need to work on, um, because like that's the most valuable thing I own, um, but it's something that I've realized now owning a business you have mastery over your own time. That's something that Mark had to work into me because I was still, kind of stuck in my old nine to five thinking. It's just like I gotta, I gotta put the hours on here, here, here. He was like, "No, man, like you can do things a little differently now. You have mastery over your own time.” Which changes. Okay, where can I give my time? Right? That nine to five, those hours in between, they used to belong to so and so, my boss, but now, now I can I can be flexible and I can say, oh yes, there's a need here. I can take a break from my work and I can go help there. Yeah, what a blessing that is too. LH Totally, totally. So this has been this has been great. Like I really appreciate the kind of high level overview we've done now, but I think we all know that like it wouldn't be Real Talk if we didn't get into the real talk. So I'm gonna hit you with a few different topics here of like areas in business life where yeah, if you had a mentor, you might wrestle through these issues, and perhaps you guys have in in the year or so that you guys have been kind of keeping each other accountable that way. But I would say off the hop. I know you're passionate about this one, Ben, but there's a real need for men in particular. If you would like your wife to stay home, you got to get out there and you got to make some decent money nowadays. Like because of this whole two income trap and the way the real estate market is and all that. Even with it declining, it's still just brutal. Yeah. So, like, what are some conversations you guys have had in this topic, and how does that kind of play into Six Days? BN There's multiple aspects to this that I've thought about deeply. Let's just say that. LH Yeah. Walk me through one. BN One of them is, I think it's incredibly important for - long term - for the for the Christian faith, for the kingdom of Christ, for discipleship to happen in the home, and that needs to happen by parents, specifically the mother. Right, they have a task given by God to raise the children up. Obviously, the father plays a massive role in that. But in today's day and age, like you were saying, with the costs of everything, the father needs to make quite a bit of money in order to create a space for that mother to stay home and raise the children, right? It's a totally different scenario LH If you want to own your own home. Although rent is pretty rent is also pretty crazy too. BN Rent is pretty expensive too, but there's another side to that. I'm not sure how much I want to share because this is this gets really personal. My wife and I, when we had our first child, that this was a this was a big topic for us in multiple ways, partially because she's a very ambitious woman, and she loved working, partially because we there was a tension there because she also knew because she's a biblical woman that she had a role to play in the home. LH Yeah. BN So we struggled through this, and the third tension was the financial aspect of understanding what I was making, what our costs were. When we entered into that phase where mat leave kind of ran out, right, and then you get to a point where it's like, okay, what are we gonna do? We just prayed, and we said, “God, we know we're not in a position to sustain what we have here on Ben's income, but we believe that you have called Jacqueline to be here”, and we just prayed that, and we trusted, and we made the decision that she was not going back to work, and God provided, not by giving me a raise, but He provided in some other way. And if you if you want to talk about learning trust, that is that is a hard lesson. But the Bible is just so full of these examples of God making something where there wasn't anything, right? I was I was dwelling on Jesus feeding the 5000 men, 10,000 probably people with a couple loaves of bread and a couple little fish. MW He always gave thanks. BN First, he gave thanks. Yeah, yeah. So you got the faith of Andrew bringing, bringing this child who's like, hey, he's got a lunch, 5000 people here. Jesus, what can you do? And Jesus says, "Thank you”, to his father, and then he distributes it, and everybody eats all that they need. Actually, no, sorry, I forgot a detail there, and this important detail. He gives it to his disciples, and they distribute it. Right? He calls men to do the distribution for him, and then everybody eats enough. They're all satisfied, and there's more left over than when they started with. Right? Like what a what a picture of the God that we serve, the mighty King Jesus, who is ruler over all, all authorities His, that includes your bank account.He will make $5 go 100 times as far. He can. He can do it all. Understanding that and running your your home and your business, understanding that I think is critical but also understanding the structure that God has laid out for us from creation, and obviously it doesn't work for everybody. There's always going to be examples of situations where things aren't quite the same. Yep, but the principles are there, and we ought to be guided by them, yeah. LH Mark, are we being dramatic as young guys, making this out to be a bigger challenge than it is, or do you see a shift? MW I see a huge shift, particularly in in the cost of living. Like it used to be, you could have a reasonable job, even a small business, like one or two, you know, people, and buy a home and buy a car or truck, whatever you need. Have a car or van for your wife, and that's how we grew up. And actually, in our case, my wife would stay home with the children, but she would also take care of the business side of things the accounting and so on yeah took care of the books. Did that for multiple years still doing that today as our son took over the company and that was a great way so that was an innovative way to say “okay how do we now have mom at home with the kids but also you know working her own hours” evenings or when the kids are napping, or whatever, getting creative, taking the kids to the bank, or whatever it was. That was a way of providing in that scenario with mom at home and in the business. But in terms of what you're asking, also on this whole, are we seeing things like challenging? Certainly, right now. Sometimes I wonder how is it that even on you know the $35 to $40 an hour wage, like how can you over 40 or 50 hours a week pay for all the needs that you would have between living expenses, groceries, now fuel going crazy on us, and then just simply saying, you know, giving and so on as well. So it certainly takes a lot of creativity. It takes a lot of mutual working together. I think that's huge. Like, how are you doing? A type of thing, and the younger generation is doing that. Getting creative, getting creative, also even just in living spaces. Totally. So, how do you now maximize on this house? Is there living on the land? BN Oh, multi generational! MW That's right. That seems to be a buzzword. A thing that's coming back. There's more units on this property than there. You know, the single family dwelling, you know, of old. So we adapt, but we don't do it in sort of this void. We are those who take it to God, as you as you have done as well, and just say, "Lord, what would you have us do here?” And that takes a huge element of faith, because I mean, we all like to have it that there's money coming in, money in the bank account, we can make some decisions financially. Whereas if it's like, I just had a young fella say to me today, like living paycheck to paycheck is no fun. LH No. MW Nervous to take the next step. What is the next step? I don't see what the next step is. Work is slow. I mean, people have lost jobs. Contracts are smaller. There's a lot more guys bidding on contracts, what is it, right? So that makes it very difficult. LH Want to pick up on the multi generational aspect that you kind of raised there too. It also ties into yeah having jobs that are that can sustain a living wage nowadays too, right? In terms of like, if you are successful in your business, you grow your business. Do you grow your business to sell your business, or do you grow it with the intention of always making a multi-generational, pass it off the next generation thing? Because you just mentioned you did that with your son, and that's I think a great thing. And those jobs are still there, and that's that business is still active, and they're doing their thing too and supporting the community in that way. But you also see larger businesses or businesses of different sizes, whatever, and they will sell off. And we've seen that in our church community locally here as well. And then you go, “Okay, well, I'm sure that money is getting used and supporting our various causes, and that's all fine and good. But those jobs are kind of gone, and they've moved away.” So, but yet still, some businesses spring up out of that as well. So, I'm just curious for your perspective if that's something you guys have talked through, or that's a topic for the next business meetup for Ben. MW We haven't talked about this directly, but I will say this. I've thought about this even in my own world, but selling companies or whatever it is. If there's income generated even from the sell-off of a company, I think there's a stewarding of those, stewarding of those funds that you turn around and then tie into something like Six Days as that business hub of like, okay, I need contractors to do this, even if you've moved out of the area or other guys are setting up business. How do you just start that ball rolling all over again? Whether it's me needing to do a renovate or a build on or add another dwelling or whatever it is, get creative. That we can also look at the younger generation. Who can I invest in by even just seeing them do meaningful work? And then you can even mentor by hiring, saying, "Hey, I see you doing this in your business. This is you're doing this really well”, or “are you open for some advice? Because here's what I saw. Maybe room for improvement.” So that's a way to transfer wealth that it's through meaningful work, and then also, what is it that that money is generating in terms of giving and investing in other means, other than you know not just contractors coming to work for you. Perhaps it would be initiatives or new entities that are needed, new ministries that are started up. Lots of opportunities. LH Yeah, there’s good that comes out of it both ways. But yeah, yeah. I just, I guess, yeah. There's, it's gonna be different for everyone in their scenario. But I just think of that article that that was in RP recently about the multi generational businesses, and I think you talk about living in multi generational situations, and yeah, that's kind of making a comeback, maybe more so out of financial necessity. But it's kind of it might be some hidden blessings there as well for us to kind of think about that more and more. Because I, I'll confess, as a young guy in business, like my mindset is always like you build it to sell it, and like yeah, maybe you sell it, maybe you won't sell it. MW So this is the thing. So I had the company that I pretty much just finished selling to our oldest son and originally when we started, I was in partnership with a brother that lasted for a decade. Then we split, went on our own. And I like way back when it was like this is what I love to do. Was not thinking about building a company to sell. It was working with my hands so that I could provide for my family. Later on, as our family, we had children and some of them were boys, and then one of them took interest. Then it became like, oh, okay, like maybe this succession thing is something we'll do. And then we did do it, and it worked very well. So other ones like big businesses are like build them up. They become you know moving entities. Is like let's build it up and sell it. Who's going to grab it? Highest bidder type of thing. And even if you did that, so with your company, you're like wow, I just sold it good money. You're going to turn around as a Christian, and that's going to end up somewhere in the Christian community, right? You're going to either buy a home, or you're going to invest in other people, or you start another company, or start three companies. LH Well, it's super, it's actually really efficient if you think about it, because you're getting paid out on your EBITDA, basically your profit. Let's say for the purpose of this podcast, times number of years that they live to valuable, you know. So if it's like 5x, 6x, if it's pretty valuable, whatever. So you could take that. Let's say it's only 3x or 4x, and you're getting paid on that money, and you would get that, and you can go take that money and do more with it in the you know proceeding three to four years, right? So there's a good case to be made for that too. But again, I read that piece. I thought, huh, that is that is interesting about the whole multi generational thing. But feel like that's more when you're like in a particular like trade, pure trade. Like we're like buying and selling commercial steel doors. Like it's like, hey, that's cool. But I have two daughters. Like, do they want to do that? Who knows? Probably not. But so we'll see where things go. But that's a long way down the road. But that got me thinking too. BN Totally. LH Okay. I'm gonna hit you with one other. Do you have a thought before I go to next topic? BN No, I'm okay. LH I want to hit you one other one of like a real talk issue on when we're talking work, workplace, whatever. There's a stereotype out there, and I've seen it. I've talked to different people who've experienced it too, where you have the older Dutch owner, and yeah, maybe he's given to the church and doing the right things, whatever. But he's cheap, tight fisted, very cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheapest chips. And it doesn't always show up in the worst spots because there's a good like could be thrifty, obviously. But it can definitely show up not only in a cheapness in pay sometimes for sure, keeping people at a wage that like you probably could pay them more if you wanted to, but you justify it because you give money away in your business, but also just not investing in people, right? Like I see this specifically in the trades where like a guy been working at a place and he'll be kind of stuck at this level, and the owner doesn't really want to grow the business, he doesn't really invest anything extra in his guy, and that guy in turn gets frustrated. He might work there from 18 to 25. In that period of time, he gets married, has a kid or two, and then, like you say, he's like, even if you're making 35 bucks an hour, you're like still pretty tight nowadays. Like I got to make some more money. Still, this is nuts, right? So, like, what about that sort of like issue in our circles? Like, you think that if we had some more mentorship and accountability, we could kind of talk through those things, or is that something that you've seen? Especially, I'm thinking of you, Mark, maybe over the years too. If has there been growth in that area, or am I making too much of this stereotype and it's not actually that big of a deal? MW What I've seen, and there are a number of businesses in Niagara, I have seen, thankfully, actually a lot of Christian owners who do invest in their people and they take it seriously. They're interested in their home life, interested what's going on, making sure that hey, do you have enough to meet your needs? Even taking care when there's an injury like a health difficulty. So actually, I've heard more good than bad. It is a real diss, I will say, on let's even talk about Jesus here. That like, if you would be a business owner and you're known to be a Christian and you are either you know stretching people thin or cutting corners or doing shady deals, I think that's dragging the name of Jesus in the mud. So I think accountability there would be like okay, number one, who do I know doing this? Maybe that's the time you should be having a conversation with them and say, “listen, this is what I heard. Is it true?” Because I mean, it might not be true. It might be just hearsay. But certainly. again, thankfully, a lot of the businesses I know they've taken very good care of their people, and I think that's good to see. And then that's where accountability and mentorship, and even those groups you were talking about, business groups and stuff. That's where you're into, like, how are you treating your people, and how do you make sure that they're taken care of? No, it's been probably more positive than negative. But occasionally you're like, that's really not good. People will always hold out and say, I know that guy's a Christian, and right away they'll forget all the good stuff going on in the Christian realm, and be like that one guy, like he's a jerk, and that means a lot of those Christians are just, they're just cheapskate Dutchmen, and right, like that's it's sad to say, but the… LH The bad apple can spoil a bunch. MW It clings around, it just sticks around for a long time. So just to not go there. BN Yeah, we talk a lot about holding everything with an open hand, right? An important principle. So, whether or not it's happening, I don't have enough insight to say. I'm sure it is happening in some cases, but yeah, absolutely. The effects of holding people accountable, and also just seeing if there's ways to kind of inject some principles like holding everything with an open hand and understanding that it belongs to God. LH Yep. Well, and having that honesty and that open dialog and communication can help with that too, right? Because that's a response you can see out of fear, right? If you're always not sure as a business owner, and there's always a ton of that still at that element of yeah, you don't know what the future brings. No one does, right? Yeah, and you have to be wise about how you know whatever run your run your affairs. But yeah, having that open hand, having that trust, whether that's starting or continuing on, and early or late in the journey, there's that's never going to go away. I don't think. MW No. Wouldn't it be interesting if every Christian business owner, male or female, wouldn't it be amazing that it would be almost an expectation that you had at least one, no less than one, like a mentor, a Christian mentor in in your life. I mean, I think I think the church could do that as well. Like, who are who are the people that are around you that are walking the journey with you? But in business too, like okay, you're starting up a company. Like, let's go on to Six Days, let's say, and who is in your area that could mentor? Not only mentoring you, we wanted to see you do well, but also that you would honor Christ in your business because it is the face of Jesus going out there every day in the world as we do our work. This is our ministry. We are on mission in the kingdom of God. So to take that seriously and say, "Hey, look! I just heard you starting up, right? And look, I don't have it all figured out, but if we're here, you know, as iron sharpens iron, one man sharpens another, you wanna journey for a while together? I'm not saying for a life, but maybe for a time?” And yeah, other people will come in. Now you've got this other group you're with, right? So yeah, I think that if that wasn't necessarily a prerequisite, but at least like that's we go there. Like I just heard you're in business, okay? And that became part of the business formation is like don't do it alone. Yeah, not a good scene. A lot of just for a whole lot of reasons, you can be you know shot in all kinds of different directions. Coerced here and whoops, did that, and shady deals, whatever, right? LH Oh, and you feel like you can't talk about it too. Like sometimes I feel like as a business owner, like if we're thinking specifically on the owner side of things as well, of just like, oh, these are unique challenges, or like maybe like this whole imposter syndrome of like, yeah, I don't know what I'm doing half the time. Yeah, like that's actually a lot of people. Some people do, and they can mentor you. They've been there before. Yeah, they made the mistakes, MW And to just reduce the whole shame. Like I got this problem. Like, okay, thanks for sharing. Like, like, how do we go through it? It's worked. Actually, I really did bad, and like, I'm just confessing right now, right? Like, just to say that was that was not good. And then there's people I gotta go back to and seek forgiveness, right? Like I think that's part of the growth in the kingdom. LH Totally. BN Absolutely, it's all part of it. LH It's a it's important realm. It's a realm we spend a lot of time in. It's one that we can help each other along in in our walk with Christ. And yeah, the business is a mission field. BN And the work is worship. LH And the work is worship. Amen to that. Wonderful. Well, thanks, gents. I really appreciate you guys making the time and coming down the studio. This was a lot of fun, and yeah. If you got any, you got any closing comments or thoughts you want to leave? Anything you felt like we missed, or feel like we left the people with a good nugget or two. BN Well, at least something to think about. Something to chew on, hopefully and get the conversation started. LH Yes, yeah, this is just open up the dialog, and it's I mean it's the same lines as Real Talk of just hey, we can inform a little bit, fantastic. Have some guests on that that know a thing or two and inspire future conversations, whether that's in business, in church, family, marriage, anywhere in life, right? There's as we all just journey on this life together and.. MW On a mission, as the kingdom of God advances through our work. LH Bingo, Yeah, this has been Real Talk. We'll catch you next time....

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In a Nutshell

Tidbits – July 2026

If Dad told only dinosaur jokes - Part II How can you tell a dinosaur from a peanut? Try lifting it up. If you can’t, it’s probably a dinosaur. (Though it might be a heavy peanut.) What’s the difference between a dinosaur and a pencil? A dinosaur is harder to sharpen. Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It was the chicken’s day off. What’s the difference between a dinosaur and a cup of coffee? A dinosaur doesn’t keep you awake at night. (Usually.) What’s red, has a long neck, and hates to be touched? A dinosaur with sunburn. How are dinosaurs and bluebirds alike? They both have wings. Except for the dinosaurs. What do you do with a green dinosaur? Wait until it ripens. What do you do with a blue dinosaur? Cheer him up. What do you do with a white dinosaur? Try not to lose him in the snow. Source: inspired by, and some borrowed from Charles Keller’s “Colossal Fossils: Dinosaur Riddles” How he learned he needed to preach Mark 2:28 Some years ago, on an early Sunday morning, a young Dutch pastor faced a quandary. A snowstorm had closed the roads between his house and the church and there seemed no way he could make it there to preach. But then he had an idea. The canal running behind his house went right to the church, so he could still make it there if he skated. But was that a good idea? Bringing the Word was important; however his church was very firm on Sunday observance, and skating was simply not an acceptable Sunday activity. He hemmed and hawed before finally deciding that if it was at all possible, he just had to conduct worship. So the pastor strapped on his skates, and though the wind was howling, he managed to speedily make his way down the frozen canal right to the church building. When he walked up the steps, he saw the congregation was already in place, and as he stepped in the door, the consistory was there waiting for him, grim expressions all. The elders weren’t pleased, but they liked their young pastor and weren’t eager to publicly rebuke him. So after some hurried discussion among the men, one elder asked the pastor a question: “Did you enjoy the skating, reverend?” “No,” he replied, “I didn’t enjoy it at all.” “Phew!” the consistory said as one. It was all right – skating on Sunday could be allowed, just so long as there was no joy in it! Source: adapted from Michael Hodgin's “1001 More Humorous illustrations for Public Speaking” Big Brother can’t be father or mother “We fear the government may be powerful enough to destroy families; we know that it is not powerful enough to replace them.” – Ronald Reagan Never read a Bible verse Mark Twain once quipped that a cat that’s sat on a hot stove will never do so again… but he’ll never sit on a cold one either. In other words, that the lesson the cat learned had been applied broadly, even to circumstances where it isn’t warranted. That notion – that we shouldn’t overlearn our lessons – has biblical backing. God regularly tells us to do one thing in one place, and nearly the opposite elsewhere. The starkest contrast is Proverbs 26:4-5, where God begins with why we shouldn’t answer a fool (lest we appear like him), before, in the very next verse, telling us why we must answer a fool (lest he appear wise in his own eyes). So when should you do which? That’s where wisdom is required. Another contrast? Solomon’s advice to be like the hard-working ant who diligently plans ahead (Prov. 6:6-8), and Jesus’ encouragement not to be anxious about tomorrow (Matt. 6:25-34). Contradictions? Not at all – just different lessons for different circumstances. Solomon’s advice was for the lazy, and Jesus’ correction was to those fixated on the here and now rather than on God. So don’t be like Twain’s cat who let one incident shape its whole understanding. God gave us a Book, not just a verse, so we should be sure to never read just a Bible verse – read His Word in the context of what else God thought it important for us to know. Know your history "Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the Government take care of him better take a closer look at the American Indian!" – commonly attributed to Henry Ford, but without any clear sourcing. Whether from him or not, the truth it captures makes clear the foolishness of socialist schemes. Have scientists created life? Every few years media outlets share a startling scientific advancement about how a group of scientists have "created life." A couple recent examples include J. Craig Venter back in 2010 for creating "the world's first synthetic life form," and Elizabeth Strychalski and her crew in 2021 who "crafted a single-celled synthetic organism that divides and multiplies just like the real thing." Why is this so important? Because there's only two explanations for how life began: God, or godless. And these supposed "creations of life" are seen as steps towards coming up with a godless explanation. So have scientists actually created life? No. They've tinkered, placing engineered DNA in already living cells. So, they began with life and ended up with life.  And as Jonathan Sarfati noted: "It took an enormous amount of intelligence to make this cell, and they borrowed a lot of information from already-existing cells. In particular, they synthesized the genome of Mycoplasma mycoides, with 1.08 million base-pairs (bp)3 and about 985 genes.... it cost US$40 million and 200 man-years to produce." So with their brilliant minds, supercomputers, lab equipment, refined chemicals, all sorts of intentionality, and a living cell to start with they've managed to create life. Which is supposed to show us something about how it all could have happened accidentally and unintelligently? Tell that to a devoted evolutionist and they'll probably tell you it's only a matter of time before scientists figure it out. But time hasn't proven to be their friend. When Darwin proposed his theory, he thought the cell was made up of "membrane, nucleus, and nucleolus" which was all that could be seen under his day's microscopes. The ribosomes, Golgi apparatus, mitochondria and other microscopic machines were missed entirely, and the nucleus was a black box – unknown and disregarded – which made it a lot easier to ignore God's fingerprints evident all over the cell's design. But since then every new discovery has shown how much more complicated single-celled life is than previously realized. That means the more we are discovering, the more and more impossible abiogenesis – life from non-life – is revealed to be. And the more obvious the need for a great Genius to be behind it all. Just be yourself, they say There’s a story told about Abe Lincoln, that when he was at a hometown soiree, he approached the lady of his interest and told her, “Mary Todd, I want to dance with you in the worst way.” And after a turn around the floor together, she could only say, “You wanted to dance in the worst way, and you certainly did.” Why not fund my educational trip to Europe too? Our professor had written for the local daily newspaper for decades, and explained that before universities started offering journalism programs, his newspaper would put all their new hires through a 3-month training program. When journalism degrees became a thing, the paper cut back their own training program to just a month or two, and required all applicants have a journalism degree. So a young man or woman who wanted to be a journalist now had to invest 2 to 4 years of their life, and a lot of their own money and taxpayer money too on tuition, to get a piece of paper that would save the newspaper just a month or two of training. That doesn’t math. Meanwhile the government could talk about how it was directing so much new money towards post-secondary institutions so we could have a more educated workforce. But at what cost? As has been said: “If your college degree doesn’t have enough value for you to pay it off, it certainly doesn’t have enough value for me to pay it off.” Boys, do you want this to happen to you? Dinosaurs didn't read. And now they're extinct. When John MacArthur visited a philosophy class… We, as Christians, are called to walk humbly (Micah 6:8). But let’s not get confused about who or what we are being humble about. It’s us, not God. That’s a point worth pausing on. We so often get things wrong and muddled, so we have good reason to be humble. But not about God or His Word. Yet somehow, there are all sorts of topics the Bible is crystal clear on that we’re still acting quite “humbly” about, reluctant to speak up in His Name. It’s time to get confident. For inspiration, here’s a story from the late John MacArthur. This is a man who’d proclaim God’s Truth just as boldly sitting across from a newscaster as he would standing up in a pulpit, but the point here isn’t his example, but his basis – he had God’s Word. "As a Christian, you and I share this in common: I see things clearly. I see the world clearly. In fact, I often wonder why I'm not on more programs giving the right answer to everything. It's all very clear to me. Everything is clear to me. I understand where the world came from, where it's going. I understand all of that. I understand why things happen the way they happen. I understand life and death and life after death and heaven and hell and morality and immorality. I understand it all. I understand why the world is the way it is. Why people act the way they act. Am I particularly intelligent? No. Am I particularly wise? No. I just have the mind of Christ here in this book. “I remember one time, years ago, being invited to Cal State Northridge to speak to the philosophy class and the professor was a former rabbi who liked to chew on an occasional fundamentalist. And so, I was going to be the bone for that experience. I went to the class and I was supposed to talk on the subject of Christianity and culture. Well, I didn't want to talk about Christianity and culture. I wanted to talk about the gospel. I think I opened by saying, something like, ‘….I know this is a philosophy class, and I know that you're searching for the truth, and I'm here to bring your search to an end.’ “That was enough to lose them all. They looked like somebody had shot off a gun in the room. So, I said: ‘I'm here to tell you the truth. Tell you the truth about the origin of the universe. Tell you the truth about why the universe holds together. Things that Einstein couldn't figure out. I'm here to tell you where the universe is going in the future, how it will end. I'm here to tell you about life and death and the afterlife, morality, everything you want to know. I'm here to tell you all of it.’ “And when I said this, the rabbi professor was as stunned as everybody else. “I said, ‘But no matter what I say, you're not going to understand it and you're not going to believe it.’ “And one student at that moment spoke for all of them and said, ‘How do you know? How do you know we won't understand it? We won't believe it?’ “I said, ‘Because there's a prerequisite. For you to understand this, you have to have been transformed by faith in Jesus Christ so that your understanding is opened.’ “To which he replied, ‘Well, how does that happen?’ “And I said, ‘Good. Now we'll talk about how you become transformed by Jesus Christ.’ And so I went into the gospel, which was no small irritation to the professor. I remember an extended time of sharing the gospel with some of the students out in the hall after the class was over. A number of them came to church and a couple of them actually joined our ministry here and professed Christ. The Word brings light to absolutely everything." ...

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Assorted

Ruin and restoration and our part

When the world falls into spiritual darkness and all you see around you is chaos and misery, what then? Kin Jong-un and Vladimir Putin meeting in China last year – North Korea has been supplying Russia with troops for their war with Ukraine since as early as 2024. 1 Isaiah, in chapter 24, spoke of how “The earth is utterly broken, the earth is split apart, the earth is violently shaken.” Was he speaking only to the people of his day about the earth being broken? Was he judging the nations of his time about the world being violently shaken? Or was he also speaking to the nations of the world today? Are our present lives, and the lives of those around us, in a state of rebellion against Almighty God? Ruins all around Most people enjoy eating a fine smorgasbord. As a matter of fact, the Chinese Mandarin restaurant is one of my favorite places to dine. To walk by the mouth-watering dishes displayed, and to anticipate dining, is delightful. To deposit a little scoop of this and a tad of that on a warm, hand-held plate, creates thankful moments. There are other smorgasbords displayed to us, however, which do not generate pleasure. The world is actually a smorgasbord right now – a literal smorgasbord of brokenness – of ruin. No matter where we turn in the newspapers, no matter what we turn to on our laptops, there are ruins we can choose to read about, or literally see misery portrayed on our screen. Grim headlines underline this actuality. Our plate of daily current events is filled with somber, unappetizing incidents. Is this where Canada’s Bill C-9 will take us? Finnish Member of Parliament, and former leader of the Finnish Christian Democrats, Päivi Räsänen was found guilty of hate speech earlier this year by her country’s Supreme Court for a booklet she and a Lutheran bishop co-authored in 2004 opposing same-sex “marriage.” 2 For example, it has of late been disclosed that the North Korean president, Kim Jong Un, is supporting a policy that requires soldiers to commit suicide on the battlefield to avoid capture, while fighting Russia’s war against Ukraine. For example, it has been verified that twenty-nine Christians were massacred in the Islamic state of Nigeria, during a soccer match in the spring of this year, 2026. The attack took place on a Sunday, included the torching of a church, and most of the victims were youths and women. For example, earlier this year of 2026, the College of Physicians and Surgeons of Ontario, Canada, investigated a Dr. MacLean of London, Ontario. Dr. MacLean diagnosed a man with inflammatory bowel disease while sitting with him in a car outside a Tim Horton’s. Afterwards, he personally drove this man, who was prone to depression, to a MAiD location where his life was ended. Dr. MacClean was only verbally cautioned by CPSO. For example, Canadian Bill C-9, also known as the Combatting Hate Act, passed the House of Commons, Senate and received Royal Assent. It removed the religious defence to hate speech in the Criminal Code. For example, the horrible tragedy of the earthquakes which have hit Venezuela. Venezuelan morgues are filling up rapidly. At the end of June 2026, the actual death toll was reported to be more than 2,300. However, the projected number of people missing and presumed dead, is running into many thousands more. Dead children arrive at morgues, so badly decomposed that they are unrecognizable. These smorgasbord current events detail a world that is a far cry from the “It was good” phrase, in Genesis 1. They reflect a world fallen into sin. Are we part of God’s restoration? Should we, therefore, mourn and lament over these present evil times? It is a fact, that like Jeremiah lamented, it is not a bad thing for us also to weep over worldwide sin. However, it is also a good thing to sit down and examine ourselves, to study our own hearts carefully, to make sure that our motives, our interactions with others and our priorities, are not in any way contributing to the evil around us. For example, do we encourage our next-door neighbors to live without fear? Does our joy in the prospect of life eternal, reflect in loving our neighbors, in bringing them both soup and the Gospel? For example, do we speak openly about these disasters with people we meet? Do we know our Bible well enough to testify with a smile that “God is our refuge and our strength” and that “therefore we will not fear” (Ps. 46)? When those nearby have a cast-down soul, can we boldly, like the Reformers before us, boost the spirits of those around us with personal anecdotes of answered prayer and songs of cheer? It is said of Luther, who loved the 46th Psalm dearly, that when his companions were cast down because of the seeming strength of the opposition, he would say: “Come, let us sing the Forty-Sixth Psalm, friends.” For example, do we testify to those dying in pain on a hospital bed, Jesus’ words in John 14 that their hearts ought not to be troubled? And can we explain why their hearts ought not to be troubled? Can we percolate the steadfast faith of Job to friends? Can we say with certainty to others, “I know that my Redeemer lives”? The evangelist, John Wesley, died on March 2,1791, at the age of 87. As he lay dying, with a group of friends gathered around his bed, Wesley’s last words were from Psalm 46, “The best of all is, God is with us.” He repeated this as he lifted his arms: "The best of all is, God is with us.” My niece’s daughter, Amy, died more than a month ago. She was thirty-five years old and had special-needs – but a person who knew and loved the Lord Jesus. A small story was told of her during the funeral. Amy had a friend whose name was Melissa. Melissa could not speak. During a Special Olympics day for those with special-needs, there was a race – a walking race from one point to another. Amy’s friend was participating in that race. But as she began to walk with all the other contestants, she suddenly froze. She seemed to be afraid and not able to move. Amy saw that her friend was afraid and walked away from the sidelines where she was watching and came up to Melissa. She took Melissa’s hand and told her it was all right. And Amy and Melissa finished that race together. And though this world, with devils filled, should threaten to undo us, we will not fear, for God has willed His truth to triumph through us. ***** 1 Photo credit: The President of the Russian Federation website www.kremlin.ru, and used under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 license. 2 Photo credit: Modified from a picture by Lauri Heikkinen and the Finnish Government and used under a CC by 2.0 Attribution 2.0 Generic license....

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Politics

Alberta separatism: is it wrong to go?

I have deep roots in Alberta, having lived there for the first 30+ years of my life. I was also heavily involved in politics through a half dozen different campaigns, and during those years I thought long and hard about what a better Alberta might look like. I have since been separated from my home province by mileage and decades. While I am still a very interested observer, the distance allows me to act as more of an impartial observer than I would have been able to be two decades ago. I’m going to try here, to make a limited point – that it would be okay for Alberta to go. Not that it should go, but just that going is an option on the table that Christians can consider. Even as I think the referendum is well worth talking about, I don’t think it has any chance of success. A June 5 Ipsos poll had only 19% of Albertans interested in starting the process, and only 18% who actually wanted to go. Angus Reid had support as high as 35% for starting the process, but that was back in May, and their guesstimate was the highest of all the pollsters. So, I’m not writing to sway voters one way or the other. The reason I wanted to write is because some of the issues brought up are universal – they apply not just for Albertans trying to figure out how to vote, but whenever Christians are making any decision. Kevin DeYoung tackled decision-making in his excellent book Just Do Something, so, inspired by him, here are a handful of questions to help shape a Christian’s decision-making process. Q.1 HAS GOD LEFT THE DECISION UP TO ME? Another way to phrase this question would be, is this a wrong/right matter? If it is, then we know what to do – we need to do whatever it is that God commands. Screwing up the courage to do so might be hard, but if we know it is a moral matter then we already know what we should do. God’s will be done. However, as Kevin DeYoung notes in Just Do Something, a lot of our decisions aren’t so simple, precisely because they aren’t about wrong or right. God leaves some pretty big decisions up to us: what kind of job we’ll pursue, where we’ll live, who we will marry, whether we should partner up to start a company. Big stuff. Huge stuff! We can and should look to God for guidance, and talk to our parents and the other wise people He’s gifted us. We can come to Him in prayer and ask Him to make our motivations pure. We can look to His word for wisdom. But then it is up to us; He gives us a decision to make. Take marriage as an example. You can look over every page of the Bible, and you just aren’t going to find the name of the person God has in mind for you. He’s left it to you, to figure out who you have in mind for you. Now, you can’t marry an unbeliever because He’s said we should not be unequally yoked (2 Cor. 6:14). He also offers guidance on the kind of man or woman you should be impressed by. But, if a young man, Timmy, has a couple of those kind of ladies sitting in the pews nearby him each Sunday, then it will be up to him to make a choice. And up to whoever Timmy asks to make her own. Now let’s direct the question above to the separation referendum: is this a matter of wrong and right? The possible answers to the question can go a few different ways: 1. Yes it is, which is why we have to vote against 2. Yes it is, so we have to vote for separation 3. No it is not, so God has left the decision up to us. So which is it? Before trying to answer that, let’s clear away one distraction. That something can be done for the wrong reasons is not proof that it is wrong. Mankind has the sad ability to make just about anything immoral if we try. So, as noted, Timmy could have a couple of wonderful godly young women to consider – either could be a good God-honoring choice. But if he asks out Helen only because she has a cool car he’d like to drive, his selfishness and disregard for her heart would turn a legitimate action into a sinful one. That doesn’t change the fact that Helen is a great girl. So, for our purposes, that people could have bad motivations for voting for (or against) separation is not what we’re trying to figure out. It is no surprise that it could be done sinfully because anything can be done sinfully. But what we’re trying to figure out is whether seeking to leave Canada is sinful all by itself, or whether it’s something God leaves for us to decide. To that end let’s ask a couple of clarifying questions. A) Is there something about leaving that is wrong? Some Christians have invoked Romans 13 to argue that because God calls us to be in submission to our authorities it would be wrong for Alberta to remove itself from being under the authority of the federal government. It’s a good idea to go to Scripture, but let’s dig a little deeper and consider what sort of submission God speaks of here. Under a dictatorship, as Paul and most of the world lived under when this was written, they had no means of changing their leaders. But in a democracy, we do. So, while we know God has placed the Liberals in charge of Canada, we don’t think it would be wrong for us to try, via democratic means, to remove ourselves from being under their authority the next time an election is called. We’d likely thank God for such a result. So, how then, is it so very different for Alberta, via democratic means, to seek to replace this authority over them? Can we characterize such a vote as rebellion against, or disrespect for God’s appointed authorities? No, because, after all, this is simply following the process via the means those authorities laid out. This is an important point – what submission involves – that often gets confused, such that some Christians will characterize taking the government to court as disrespectful, because, again, didn’t God put them in authority over us? But Paul used the courts (Acts 25), and could do so while writing Romans 13, because those courts and that process were a part of the very authority he was in submission to. And what we have in the separation referendum is another government-given process that we can access in submission. B) Would it be wrong not to go? Or in other words, should Christians feel obligated to vote for the referendum? While I think there are reasons that could be offered for leaving, that’s not the same thing as saying Christians must choose to go. To go back to Timmy and his marriage prospects, that there are reasons for him to ask out Susan doesn’t mean he has to. There are, after all, other possibilities to consider, including Helen. So would it actually be wrong to stay? I think that would be a very tough case to make but let’s for the sake of argument, make a hypothetical case where it wouldn’t be so tough. Let’s imagine that the federal government was evil – it was murdering a quarter of its citizens before they were even born, and was now going after the elderly and disabled too. We won’t find that hard to imagine, because that is what’s happening right now. Now let’s imagine Alberta was ruled by wise godly Christians who sought to honor God, and were desperately trying to stop the federal government from pushing abortion and euthanasia in their province but they just couldn’t so long as the province was still under the federal thumb. In those circumstances would it be wrong to stay? Under those circumstances, I think we might well conclude it would be wrong, based on just how many unborn and elderly and disabled lives could be saved if Alberta left. But those aren’t the circumstances we have, are they? Even Alberta at its best is far from godly. Danielle Smith has no qualms about abortion, and euthanasia is paid for by provincial coffers with no protest. Even where the province is out of step with the rest of our Liberal country, it is only a half-step, with the premier’s stance against transgenderism a good example. Yes, she defended kids from this mutilation, but at the very same time she was recruiting doctors from Quebec to better enable confused Albertan adults to mutilate themselves. So this is not some black and white choice between an evil and a godly government. And as such, I don’t think there is a clear case to be made that Alberta must go either. Which would mean God is leaving the decision to us. Q.2 HOW IMPORTANT IS THIS? We make a million decisions every day, and not all of them deserve the same amount of attention. So we need to treat things proportionately. If you are going to buy a new car, that deserves more of your time and maybe prayerful consideration than if you’re buying a coffee. Though if you’re buying a coffee every day, that could warrant some consideration too, because that’s now become a bigger budgetary matter. But not everything is big. If you’re trying to decide between toast and cereal this morning, it’s not worth much brain space. Don’t take forever deciding – that’d be wasting the time that God has entrusted to your care. So, we do need to treat big things as big, but also treat small things as small. And I’d make the case that for the vast majority of us, the separation referendum shouldn’t be a big thing. Why? First, there’s every reason to think the separation vote is going to lose in a landslide. So, give it enough time to go cast your vote, but there are a lot of matters likely to actually happen that are, therefore, more deserving of your attention. Second, even if separation were to happen, would it solve any of our most pressing political problems? No. If it were only the Alberta government in power, God’s people would still need to be just as busy standing up for the unborn, the elderly, and the disabled. So, this isn’t nothing; but it isn’t the big way forward that will save Alberta either. We can give it more brain space and passion than our toast vs. cereal dilemma, but for both practical and prioritization reasons, should it get all that much more? Q.3 ARE MY MOTIVATIONS PURE? As noted, we can do the right thing for the wrong reasons. That’s why Kevin DeYoung suggests (again, in his excellent book Just Do Something) that when we’re making the very decisions that God has left up to us – what job we’ll take, whether we’re going to move, whether we should buy that gaming system – a good prayer we can bring to Him is to ask that He make our motivations pure. So, it’s important that Christians don’t vote for separation with a middle finger in the air aimed at Ottawa. But in our call to love our neighbors as ourselves, someone might vote for separation thinking of what a helpful example a free Alberta could be to the rest of Canada, showing what could be done with a different approach. One Albertan might vote for separation thinking that if only we stop those equalization payments, Albertans, and more specifically him, will now be able to live a life of leisure, rolling in all those extra billions. But another voter might well want separation to end those equalization payments so that the federal government will stop incentivizing people to live where jobs are hard to come by. They could vote out of concern for their neighboring Canadians who are getting harmed by this government program. So, the same act – the same decision – could be done in submission or defiance of God, based on our own motivations. Let’s pray, then, that God be honored in all that we do. Q.4 IN MY ESTIMATION, IS IT WISE? So where do we land when a matter isn’t wrong or right, when we have given it its due consideration, and after we’ve questioned our own motivations? Then we arrive at the point where we have to decide for ourselves whether it is the wise thing to do. Wisdom can be sought in consultation. Ask your parents. Read relevant articles. Debate things with your friends. But it’ll be up to you. CONCLUSION I’m not going to make a case for separation or against, but I hope I’ve made a good case for Christian liberty. And in doing so, I hope I’ve also made the case for charity towards your brothers and sisters who are voting the opposite way you are. We do need to vote to God’s glory. But what I’m arguing here is that in this referendum, that will be done more through the motivation and manner in which we vote, than in what direction we cast our ballot. Honoring God is more than submitting to His will, but certainly not less. When He has expressed His will, then we need to submit no matter what it might cost to follow Him. But we can be bold too, when He leaves the decision-making up to us, knowing that our Heavenly Father will be pleased with whatever we might decide, just so long as we are trying to please Him....

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News

Ontario’s “conservative” gov’t opposes bill that would have banned gambling ads

Ontario is awash in new gamblers. As ARPA Canada reported earlier this year: “A recent study found that since iGaming Ontario was introduced, total monthly wagers increased by 654% between April 2022 and August 2025, and the number of active player accounts rose 239%. Calls to Ontario’s mental health and addictions helpline rose at an accelerated annual rate (7% above the previous trend) after iGaming Ontario was introduced in 2022. The highest increase in calls was among young men aged 15 to 24.” The province’s iGaming Ontario reported that in the 2024-25 fiscal year, it oversaw $82.7 billion in total wagers. That amounts to an average of $5,000 being bet, and $180 being lost, by every man, woman, and child in the province. How much revenue does the government get out of this? It’s surprisingly low: a little over $181 million, with the rest going to the private gaming operators. That means the government is overseeing an enormous expansion of gambling, but making only a smidge over $11 per man, woman, and child from it. These iGaming Ontario numbers don’t even account for the billions more spent on the government’s own Ontario Lottery and Gaming. While it’s hard to know just how much is being gambled through its lotteries and other offerings, what is clear is how much it contributes to government coffers: $2.25 billion in 2024-25, or $140 from every man, woman, and child. Earlier this year, billionaire investor Warren Buffett characterized sports gambling as a tax that the rich like because “they don’t have to pay it.” Why don’t they have to pay? Because it is an entirely voluntary tax – if you don’t want to give the government your money, you can simply choose not to gamble. That’s why he also agreed that it was “a tax on stupidity.” But, of course, some people have a hard time not gambling. Various estimates put the number of problem gamblers at 1.1 to 11 percent of Ontarians, or between 160,000 and 1.6 million Ontarians getting hurt by a product their government is pushing on them. As Buffett put it: “I don’t like things that make a sucker out of people. I particularly don’t like them when the government sponsors them. I don’t think the function of the government is to play its people for suckers.” So when a bill was proposed, earlier this year, to ban gambling advertising in Ontario, it was a reason to celebrate. Gambling advertising has gotten inescapable – as ARPA Canada shared, “one analysis in 2024 estimated that Canadian viewers of live sports broadcasts were exposed to 2.8 references to sports betting per minute” (emphasis added). This bill wasn’t going to undo all the damage being done, but it was certainly a step in the right direction. And, all the more remarkably, the bill was being proposed by four members of Ontario’s opposition Liberals. Things are bad indeed when even the Liberals see a need to rein things in. But the ostensibly “conservative” government said no. While they offered up reasons to oppose the Liberals’ bill, what the Conservatives didn’t do was propose an alternative to it – they spoke of the need for moving “thoughtfully and methodically” but in the meantime Ontarians are left with the destructive status quo. What’s wrong with gambling can perhaps be best understood in contrast to other ways we can make money. Gamblers make bets that, should they win, are covered by those who bet the other way and lost – your gain only comes via others’ pain. Meanwhile, if you make money any other legal way, your wealth will come by benefiting others. Whether you are a housepainter or an accountant, the money that you thankfully receive comes from others who are thankful too for what they’ve gotten from you in exchange. Your gain is also their gain. God calls us to love our neighbor, not exploit him, so wealth gained at our neighbor’s expense is an unacceptable way to take in money. More could be said, but for those who think gambling is harmless entertainment I’ll offer up just one more objection. Even if you’ve got your gambling under control, every bet you make is that little bit more motivation for the government to keep at this… to the great harm of many, who aren’t in control of their gambling. If you love your neighbor, you should be lobbying the government to stop pushing, and just simply stop running, such a destructive enterprise....

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Entertainment

“What can I do?” Part II

35 more screen-alternatives ***** For our first screen-fast in 2025, we offered up 35 ideas for great activities you and your family can do with your screen-free moments, minutes, hours, and days. As we get set for another fast, we have another opportunity to make a course-correction in our lives when it comes to where our hearts, minds, and eyes are directed. We’re back with 35 more activities, including some ideas from people who did the screen-fast last summer. But first, let’s start with one of their testimonials on why it is worth taking the screen-fast plunge: “I somewhat reluctantly signed up for the screen-fast as my wife and kids were participating, but reflecting on it now, I can see God's hand working through them and the screen-fast. “I spent more time reading the Bible and additional study material, and more time in prayer and reflection. I was able to think more clearly after the first few days as the cheap distraction of screens was gone. This gave me time and focus to think through issues at work which I've been contending with for around a year and come to difficult decisions there that I had perhaps been avoiding. My time was better spent in devotions, exercise, conversation, family activities, and time in God's creation. I felt much better mentally, physically, and spiritually at the end of the ten days. “I intend to do this screen-fast again in the future and strongly encourage anyone who has not done it to do so and aim to grow in service of our gracious God.” What follows are 35 suggestions, gathered from RP readers and staff, for what you can do with all your extra screen-free time! Make God first Bible-in-a-year is easier – “My husband and I also had more time to work on our ‘Bible-in-a-year’ readings in the evenings as well as more time to journal and read some fiction.” Devoted devotions – “I started each day with devotions rather than reaching for my phone and therefore skipping devotions didn’t happen anymore.” Remembering to pray – “Helped to remind me to pray every time I went to tap an ‘earbud’.” Break, and bake, bread Rediscover dinner – “We had meals at the kitchen table instead of in the living room while watching YouTube.” Hold a tasting party – It doesn’t need to be fancy. Kids could find it fun to make and sample 3 different kinds of macaroni with a couple of different ketchups. Or have a soda sampler, using shot glasses, teaching your littles to “clean their palates” before sampling the next. Twists on reading a good book Pay your kids to read what you want – Some kids won’t read, and others only read a certain sort of book. If you’re spending thousands on Christian education, maybe a few hundred could be devoted to upgrading your children’s summer reading by paying them to read the books you really want them reading. Maybe it’s an old classic like Pilgrim’s Progress (but be sure you have a copy with updated English) or a great Christian biography you loved. Would a couple bucks motivate them? Maybe a fiver? This wouldn’t be a great idea long-term – we don’t want them thinking reading is a job – but for the 10 days of the screen-fast maybe it’d be just right. All together now – Try reading a picture book together – maybe one by Mo Willems about Piggie and Gerald, but any heavy-on-dialogue book would do. Then assign each family member and friend a character. Give them a few moments to create the character’s voice. Mom or dad can act the part of the narrator, and you are ready for a dramatic performance. Library treasure hunt – Pick an animal you want to know more about, and then head to the library to research all about it. Everyone needs to choose their own animal, read up, and present your findings in a few days. Best done with adult oversight, or when your kids are able to see through most nature books’ evolutionary nonsense, and can see God’s fingerprints evident in their new favorite critter. Love the neighbor next to you Only head up in the room – “Quite often if you're sitting in a waiting room, someone will strike up a conversation with you, because you're available and willing to talk. You may have an impact on someone else's day. Smile and give eye contact!” Howdy! – Go for a walk and talk, chatting up all the neighbors you meet. Paint party – Paint the opening question and answer of the Westminster or Heidelberg Catechisms on your garage door. Then spend extra time outside, with your head up, ready for any conversations that may come. Outdoor games night – Hold a games night on your front lawn and invite passersby to join in. Make sure they are simple short games, to make it easiest. Be contagious Show, don’t tell – “Over the days slowly joined me in some of my non-screen pursuits, doing jigsaw puzzles and chatting over cups of tea.” “We had family come for summer holidays, and they willingly partook (kids too)! Fishing and bike rides at 7 am rather than cartoons…win!” Start a “What I wouldn’t have seen” journal – Every time a family member sees something they know they wouldn’t have seen if they’d been on a screen, they should write it down in this journal. It may be quite the collection before the screen-fast is done! Actually fix things All-in hour – Your honey-do list is getting long? Pick one hour each day for everyone to just get at whatever needs to be gotten. Dishes piling up? That door squeaking? It’s so much more motivating to work, when no one can shirk. One room at a time – Each day, a different room. You’re picking a target, not promising yourself perfection. So pick a room, get help, and get what you can done in a set amount of time. Then tomorrow, move on to the next room whether you’re done this one or not. Gaming together Race remote control cars – “The quality time together was definitely better as we played cards, drove RCs at the park and made homemade cards.” Rebound for your bro or sis – “Our whole family did a lot more reading, board game playing, and shooting hoops…. I was impressed to see them doing Sudokus, reading, looking out the window, and playing cards with each other.” Embrace the boredom Be bored – “My 10-year-old said that she found more space to be creative when the computer and TV was off.” Tackle a “shower thought” – It’s no wonder so many of us get our best ideas in the shower as there’s nothing else for our brain to do in there but think. Now don’t just think about it; use your extra time to turn an idea into reality. Enjoy your spouse Go on walks – “It helped me reconnect with my wife. Instead of sitting on the couch consuming content in the evenings, we went for more walks and had more time to talk about what was going on.” Go to bed at the same time – It can be hard to connect if you’re falling asleep to a device. But if you turn off the distractions, you can tune into your spouse, and vice versa. “My best recommendation for others would be to eliminate phones from your bedroom. Reading my Bible nightly is way more likely to happen when Instagram is more than a click away. That Christian influencer's advice might be insightful, but God's Word will not return empty (Is. 55:11).” Wash the dishes together – A dishwasher is a lovely thing, but it’s sweet teamwork when a couple divvies up the washing and drying. In our busy lives, this short time right after dinner is still usually open and available, not just to work, but to flirt. Connect with the kids Backyard camping – Pitch the tent, get out the flashlights, and if you can, get some s’mores made. And when it’s time to sleep, have dad or mom read a story, or share a childhood adventure. Game-night marathon – Play your kids’ favorite board or card game as many times in a row as they like, even into the wee hours of the night. More painting Untouched canvas – If your house has a big blank wall somewhere, do something about it. With some painter’s tape, line out, and then paint in, a humungous rectangular frame that you and your friends or family are now going to fill in with your own beautiful artistry. Try, try again – Get small, inexpensive canvases from the store and paints, and paint your masterpiece. Then, tomorrow, paint over it. Continue until you’ve got something you love. Help a widow – Organize a painting party (painting the fence, etc.) for a widow. Challenges Family read-a-thon – Make up your own rules, but here’s something you could try. Mark off a sheet of paper divvying each day in hours and put it on your fridge. Every family member writes down how many (if any) pages they’ve read that hour. The one who gets the most pages in that hour gets a point. Most points in a day gets a small prize. Most points over the 10 days gets to have mom and dad pay for a book of their choosing. Wall of gratitude – Every hour you can write down on an index card something you are thankful for. Then tape that card to a wall. You can only do one an hour, and if you miss an hour, you can’t catch up. Each thankful card has to be original – no repeated thanks for your spouse or children, etc., no matter how grateful you are. The point is for us all to see how many different ways God is blessing us. For fun, get a pack of different color index cards, and maybe use some color pens to draw word art or a picture on each one. There are roughly 160 awake hours over the 10-day screen-fast, so see just how full you can fill your wall of gratitude. Exercise eke-up – Set a goal, any goal. Want to be able to run for half an hour? Try running for just a tenth of that on day 1 – just 3 minutes. Then add a tenth for day 2, and run 6 minutes. Keep adding a tenth a day and by day 10 you’ll be running 30 minutes. Was that too ambitious? Then start again back at the step before it got hard and cut your increments in half. Try this same, slow-and-steady, super-small-steps approach to whatever exercise (push-ups, planking, swimming, a stretching routine) you want to get better at. A pizza a day – Without a doubt, there is no more perfect food, what with the amazing variety of ways it can be prepared and varied. Do your research beforehand – when the Internet can still be a resource – or check out a few pizza-making cookbooks from your local library. Then plot out what kind of pizza you’ll make for each day. Preparations can involve making lists for the grocery store, and recruiting volunteers to craft each pie. Bike where you’ve never been – Find an old-fashioned paper map and use it to plot out places in your town you’ve never biked. Then head off and see what there is to see (avoiding any dangerous spots, of course) and afterward mark it off on your map, filling in every street you’ve biked up or down. Stretch your attention span Read for an hour straight – Note down on a piece of paper a mark for every time you were tempted to stop reading and look at your phone. Watch a documentary carefully – This might seem a bit of a cheat, but being screen-free is more about intentionality than abstinence. So pick a good one deliberately (we’ve got plenty of suggestions) and watch it that way too, with your thumb on the pause button so it can be stopped and discussed. Illustrations by Hannah Penninga....

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Entertainment

“What can I do anyways?”

35 screen-alternative ideas ***** You can’t beat something with nothing (as Eph. 4:28, Matt. 12:30, and Matt. 12:43-45 make clear). That means if you want to do RP's 10-day screen-fast challenge July 21-30, it isn’t realistic to expect to manage without your phone if you haven’t made plans for what you’ll do the next time you’re tempted to reach for it. So here are ideas for what you and your family can do with your screen-free moments, minutes, hours, and days. Plan away Short-term - Using the list below and a brainstorming session with family or friends, create a list of activities for your 10 days of screen-free time. Medium-term - pull out a big piece of craft paper and along with your family create a list of items you’d love to do this summer. Long-term - Spend an hour writing out a list of 50 goals, big or small, for your future. Share and refine it with input from family and friends. On the homefront Clean one room at a time – you have 10 days, so what if you took on one room a day, and gave it the “clean, organize, and de-clutter” you’ve been meaning to do just about forever? Honey-do list - make your better half happy by fixing something. Hospitality Host a dinner for friends and do it up with candles. Make meal prep part of the entertainment by learning to make something new. Sushi anyone? How about calzones? Put on a games night, and invite your friends to bring along their favorites. Invite someone you might not normally interact with. Focus on games that allow for conversation (the less intense sort). Search for “board games” on ReformedPerspective.ca for our suggestions. Reconnect Is your family spread across the continent, or around the world? Pick up the phone and chat away – phone one person a day. Everyone loves a letter – make a package to mail away to grandma and grandpa. Read something awesome While your local library likely has too much weird stuff to want to take your kids there, you can reserve books to pick up. Before you turn off your computer to start your screen fast, be sure to check out RP’s recommendations for picture books, graphic novels, biographies, and novels for all ages. We have hundreds of nominees for you at Reformedperspective.ca/books. Remember to take a book with you wherever you go to fill in those spare moments when you used to play a phone game. New Testament Bible reading challenge anyone? If you read for a half hour each day, starting at Matthew, you could make it through most of the gospels in 10 days. Listen to a dramatized audiobook like the Chronicles of Narnia. Interview someone Interview your grandparents or parents or an inspirational someone you’d like to learn from… but first, alone, or together with friends or family, come up with a list of 20 questions to ask them. How did they meet their spouse? Was there an important lesson they learned the hard way? How have they seen God acting in their life? If they could go back in time, what would they tell their 15-year-old self? Etc. Interview your cat, dog, or even your favorite book, and imagine the answers they’d give. Be sure to write it all down, so you can share it with your family! Start (or share) a hobby Always wanted to learn to crochet, draw, or play the guitar? Get yourself prepped to give it a real go by either finding someone who will teach you, or finding a book or maybe even a video series (maybe that’s one of your exceptions?). Teach your kids, or a friend’s kids, how to sew, whittle, sketch, paint, or hit a baseball. Get some exercise Go for a long walk each day or head out on a hike with your spouse, family, a friend or two, or take the time alone to talk with God. Try something new. Pickleball anyone? Rock climbing? How about swimming? Or what about a program to help with your achy knees? Volunteer Babysit for a couple so they can have a nice evening out. Ask your oma if she needs any help around her house or yard. Deliver some Let Kids Be brochures door-to-door for ARPA Canada. Staycation Become a tourist in your own backyard and check out your local attractions – museums, zoo, historical sites, hiking and biking trails, playgrounds, thrift stores, and more. Build a fire in your backyard, roast marshmallows, make s’mores, stargaze, and swap tall tales. Reboot your gratitude Start a gratitude journal and journal daily – God has given us so much that we can easily overlook the blessings all around. Give Him glory by taking the time to see it all. Make it a family challenge to come up with 5 (or more, or less – see how hard or easy it is) events, people, or things that made you happy today. Write each one down on a notecard, accompanied by some related artwork, and post them to a hallway wall. For motivation’s sake, come up with a small reward (a Hershey kiss?) for each notecard, and a small penalty (one push-up per) for whatever each participants falls short of. Click away Create a photo scavenger hunt for your friends – a list of 10 items for teams to search out and find in the great outdoors and take a picture of to prove they found them. Items can be anything, but they should be possible, but hard, to find like a four-leaf clover, or something in nature shaped like a Z, etc. Take pictures for RP's summer photo contest. Find the rules and deadline by clicking here. An evening inside Read the same book together, out loud with one copy (taking turns, and maybe while doing a puzzle) or quietly with multiple copies. Be interruptible so you and your kids can share your favorite parts. Create your own game together. It can be whatever you like, but two easy and fun possibilities involve variants on Pictionary and charades. The first step is to create a “deck” of 100 things you’ll either draw or act out with every player contributing ideas. You can now divide into teams, or just take turns being the drawer or actor, with everyone else guessing. Mix it up by giving the option of acting or drawing the card. Play a round and get everyone to offer up a new twist on the rules and then vote on your favorite and play again. Write Write about your experiences doing the screen-fast and think about sharing it with RP! Write a letter to your younger self and share the 10 pieces of advice you’d want him to know. Falling asleep Fall asleep to a devotional. If you find it hard to get to sleep at night without a screen, try reading a devotional. Prayer, and then a few minutes reading, can help you hand off your concerns to God. If you’re married, take turns doing the reading. Couples can use the undistracted time at the end of the day to be fully present with their spouse – emotionally, spiritually, and physically. Turn off the screens and turn toward each other. Challenges Everyone loves a competition so create a challenge a day and recruit your family and friends. Examples could include doing 100 of anything (push-ups, squats, etc.) over a day. Or going 24 hours without saying anything negative (do a pushup/squat when you blow it). Track how many times you reach for or pine for your screen using a communal tick – maybe a sheet of paper on the fridge. See how you compare to your friends, and how your first day compares to day 10. Challenge your kids to find 10, 20, or even 100 things in their room (or the house) to throw out or give away. Plan out the next challenge that Reformed Perspective should do.   Pictures by Hannah Penninga....

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Parenting

Real Talk: Recovering family worship

This episode can also be found on your favorite podcast platform: Spotify, Apple, Podbean, Amazon Music or on our website. Be sure to subscribe to our YouTube channel and our podcast profiles so you can be notified when new episodes are released. Please note that the transcript below was automatically generated and quickly edited so it may contain some errors. ***** Opening What if your home was more than just a place of routine? What if it became a place of worship? Family worship is not complicated, but it does require intention. We often say we don't have time, but the reality is we make time for what matters, and when we consider all that Christ has done for us, worship in the home is not an obligation, but rather a grateful response. Today, I'm joined by Pastor and author Dr. Brian Najapfour, and we're talking about what it means to intentionally lead our families in worship. A big thanks to our official sponsor, Trivan, for making this conversation possible. Be sure to check them [email protected]. Now on to the show. The world's changing fast, but what questions should we really be asking? You're listening to Real Talk, a podcast presented by Reformed Perspective, where we take God's word and apply it to the nitty gritty of life. Buckle up for real questions, real answers, and real direction. This is Real Talk. Lucas Holtvluwer We're glad to have you here. Dr. Brian Najapfour Thank you. Lucas Holtvluwer And we're gonna be talking all about family worship, of course, but I thought you have a very interesting story coming from your father from Iran, and you growing up in the Philippines and coming to know Christ. Can you tell us a little bit just about your story in a brief few minutes before we're going to jump into the family worship. How did you become a Christian, and what was it like growing up in the Philippines? Dr. Brian Najapfour Yeah, so I grew up Roman Catholic, which is the predominant religion in the Philippines. Yeah, I think even today, about 80% of the population is Roman Catholic, but I imagine nominal. A lot of them, they don't really go to church, and that was the case with me when I was in the Philippines, when I was Roman Catholic. I would go to church probably five times a year, Christmas, Holy week, my birthday. And I remember back in 19, I think 1995 a Baptist pastor came to share the gospel with me and even today I have that relationship with that pastor, his name is Pastor Willie Cruz, and in fact, whenever I go to the Philippines, I would preach for his congregation, so he has been the pastor of that church for over 30 years, because the Lord saved me in 1996 by God's grace, and another pastor by the name of Pastor Bong Lug Tu, he discipled me. He was really the one who would spend time with me. I remember he would come and visit me at home, and we would jog, and he would pray for me, help me understand more the gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ, and so when I, maybe this is a promotion, quick promotion of evangelism. Yeah, I wrote a book, which I entitled Every Christian Is an Evangelist: Biblical Motivations for Sharing the Gospel. I dedicated that book to those two ministers of the gospel, Pastor Willie Cruz, and then Pastor Bong Lugto. And so that was 1996 when the Lord converted me, and I remember having this realization that I basically wasted 16 years of my life, and I said, Lord, if it would please you, I want to serve you for the rest of my life. So, believe it or not, the next year, the following year, 1997 so I was a brand new Christian. I wanted to serve the Lord, and so I, I decided to attend a seminary, and I still remember when they interviewed me. One of the questions was, How are you going to finance your, your studies here, and I said, well, I don't have money in my pocket, but I have faith in the Lord here in my pocket, and sure enough, the Lord provided, and so 2001 I was only 20 years old, turning 21 I graduated in a local church called me, extended a call, which I accepted, and so I started pastoring in 2001 before I turned 21 years old. So I've been serving now the Lord for 25 years, so this year marks my 25th in the ministry. Only by God's grace. Lucas Holtvluwer Wow, congratulations! Dr. Brian Najapfour Yeah, thank you. And, like, what I mentioned, I was the first one to become a Christian in the family, and by God's grace, my mom came to know the Lord Jesus Christ after my conversion, and I have a half brother from my mom, and he too eventually became a Christian. Now, my father, who originally came from Iran, but he left Iran in the 1970s he's been in Australia now for 4040 plus years. I don't think he's a believer, and it's really my, my prayer that someday he too will enjoy the blessing of salvation in the Lord Jesus Christ. And I know nothing is impossible with the Lord, we will talk about family worship, and I want to encourage to those parents who might have the so-called prodigal sons and daughters, prodigal children, maybe they once grew up in the church, but they've left for some reason, and at the end of the day, we know that it is the Holy Spirit who will regenerate our dead souls. Salvation belongs to the Lord, and that happened to me when I grew up. There was no family worship, after all. I grew up in a broken family, and it's not easy. My mom had to work hard to raise us, to provide for us, and I also lived in an environment where drugs were there, I actually to survive before my conversion, before the Lord saved me. I even entered Jueteng. Jueteng is a form of illegal gambling in the Philippines, but when the Lord saved me, I gave up that gambling. Of course, we know that it's, it's not something that Christians should, should do. It's, it's against God's, God's will as revealed in His word. But here I am right now, sitting right next to you as a token of God's grace, and so if I may encourage to our viewers that at the end of the day it is the Lord who will save their children. Now, it doesn't mean that they should not pray, they should, and we will talk more about talk about the use of family worship. Lucas Holtvluwer Yep, wonderful. Well, thanks for sharing that. I appreciate that. It's a wonderful story. So, I guess we fast forward 26 years or 25 years there. So, we're sitting here today, we want to have you on because you had this Go and Teach conference, and you gave a speech there on family worship and the importance of it. So, we were chatting just before the show, we had Dr. Beeke on, and we kind of touched on this a little bit in that episode. So if the listeners are listening to this, you know, today in the future, they'll, they may have checked that out. So we touched on that a little bit in that episode, but in this one we want to go a little bit deeper and really like dive into, like, okay, what is this concept of family worship, and why does it matter? Why is it called like, why do you, why is God call us to do this, and how is that different from just reading the Bible, or just, just praying after a meal? And while those are important, there's, there's more to it there. So, maybe we'll just start from kind of where you started your talk at the beginning about this idea, the concept of family inside the church. Do you feel that we have a bit of a misunderstanding of, like, the importance of the family in the church, or how that kind of functions in relation to corporate worship and then family worship? Can you want to touch on that a little bit? Dr. Brian Najapfour When you say misunderstanding, what exactly do you have in mind? Lucas Holtvluwer Well, like, do we, I guess, do we think of worship as something that's more done, like, outside of the family circle, and don't think about it as, like, the family is almost like a mini church in some ways, and the not only the impact and the means of grace that can exist through family worship, and I'm sure we'll touch on that as well, but just the opportunity that is there to praise and glorify God in our, in our family life as well. Like, it's I think it's easy, especially in our Western culture, and perhaps you can speak to that, coming from the Philippines, as well as kind of an outsider to that, and then coming into it, of how, like, we can really like bifurcate and separate. Separate our different portions of our life, right, and compartmentalize, and I think sometimes the worship in the family home, in the family aspect, doesn't always get brought in there in the same way we think about it in church, so maybe just kind of speak to that about, like, okay, worship is not just for in church, you can also do it in a family context, why does that matter, and what's important about that? Dr. Brian Najapfour Thank you for clarifying that. I think it's helpful too to realize that worship has basically three aspects. So, first of all, there is what we call personal, or closet, or private worship, that's our personal worship with the Lord. You alone with the Lord. The Puritans would use the term closet, that's like being inside the closet when no one sees you, but, but, but the Lord. So that's very important, because the second aspect of worship is what we call family worship, and I think this is where we have the misunderstanding, especially with regard to worship. Sometimes we think that worship can only be done outside our family, thus we have the third aspect of worship, which is public worship, corporate worship, which we are very familiar with, because that's what we do. If you are a believer, you go to church twice on Sunday. In our tradition, we have two services. I understand that there are many evangelical churches today that only worship once on Sunday, and that's what we know when we think of worship, that's good, and the Lord has commanded that, commanded us, do not forsake the assembling of ourselves together, but let us not forget too that there is what we call family worship or family altar, and I remember what John Chrysostom said, that we should treat our family as a little church, and that idea was carried on by the Protestant reformers, like Martin Luther, especially the Puritans, even Matthew Henry would also strongly say that our family is actually a little congregation. And why is it so? Well, because our family, our home, is not just a place where we eat, where we sleep, where we have that enjoyment that we can enjoy from the Lord all the blessings, but this is also a place of worship where there is a tent. One Puritan said there is also an altar where you can offer sacrifices to the Lord, and I think that's where the misunderstanding comes, because a lot of us don't think of our home as a place of worship, but it is, it is, and that's why family worship is so crucial, because think about this, Lucas. Well, first I mentioned about the private worship, your personal worship with the Lord. If your personal relationship with God is weak, let's say as a father, that will reflect your family worship will be affected by that, because really, family worship should be an outcome, natural overflow of what you are inside the closet, and then at the same time, if your family worship is weak, that will eventually affect the congregation. Yeah. public worship, and I'm afraid that one of the problems, Lucas, that we have nowadays, you know, we often complain, how come that the attendance is declining for public worship? A lot of families are no longer worshiping the Lord, children, they are not worshiping young people. They would rather go to a baseball game or watch a hockey game on Sunday than be in the house of the Lord. Why is it so? Well, really, it's a reflection of what happened inside the house. Now, I'm not saying that that's always always the case, but if our family worship is shallow, weak, what do we expect? We will also have a shallow, weak corporate public worship. Lucas Holtvluwer And you see that as a real, like, pressing need, especially in today's society, like where things are at, because I would, I would say, like, even just in my experience growing up in Dutch Reform circles, yeah, like, there were consistent patterns of, you know, reading and praying at meal times, and some families would sing, like, if you go over to someone's house on a Sunday, like, certain families would, certain wouldn't, whatever, but this, like, when we had Dr. Beeke on, we were talking about this whole idea of, like, you go to a separate room, and like, you get the books out, and you do, yeah, you sing, and you read the Bible, and you discuss it, and you know it's like a whole separate event, almost, right? Is that kind of what? How do you practice that in your home? What does that look like exactly? Dr. Brian Najapfour Yeah, so my wife and I, we have five children, ages between four and 13, and what we do again, each family is unique, and sometimes, depending on the age, two of your children, so because we have five kids in the range is quite big, four to 13, so we have this practice where we make a rotation, we take turns as to who will open in prayer, so before we eat, let's say my oldest daughter will open in in prayer, and then we eat, and then we go to our family room, the living room, and we have seven bibles, because five kids, plus myself, and then my wife, we have, we have seven bibles, and each one will have a bible, now of course, our four year old daughter cannot read yet, but it's good for her to see, to observe, so we don't expect her to read yet, but those who can, they should read, so we will take turns right now, we have been reading from the book of Exodus, so let's say Exodus chapter 32 and each will read two verses. So I usually start, so I will start two verses, and then I guess this is my advantage too as a pastor. If there is something that I would like to stress underscore, I will pause, and then explain that to them. So, for instance, when we read about the Tabernacle, yeah, a lot of symbols there. Yes, so then you can, you can help them. Okay? Why do we have this? Because the goal also is that you look for Christ. Otherwise, when you just read and then give moral lessons, it will be moralistic and I think that's one of my concerns, by the way, too. In many family worship today, it becomes moralistic, and by that I mean they simply read it. Let's say if they read about the narrative or story about David and Goliath, so or Daniel and his three friends. Well, we want to be like Daniel, brave, courageous, and then you stop there, or like David, strong. Well, yeah, not really, but strong in the Lord, yeah, courageous, and we say to our children, you see, we need to be courageous like David, no, no, go beyond that story, look for Christ, and you can say that here, my child or my children, David really represents the Lord Jesus Christ, the greater David, who fought the greater Goliath, Satan. So you bring out of the text the Christology and pointing them to the cross and sharing the gospel, which the goal is really to share the gospel with our children, and another misconception, too. Sometimes we think, well, my, my child is already a believer. Praise the Lord for that. If your child is showing the marks of grace, but it doesn't mean that your child, your believing child, does not need the gospel anymore, because Lucas, I cannot imagine my life without the gospel. I need the gospel every day, when I, when I sin, I need the gospel. I need forgiveness, I need Christ, I need His blood. When, when I am down, I need the encouragement rooted in the cross of the Lord Jesus Christ. So that's one thing that we need to do also as we lead our family in family devotion, and so we read, and then the next person will read two verses also, until we sometimes it doesn't need to be long, so you play by ear also, sometimes the text or. The chapter will end naturally. There will be a division, and then you can pause there. You can say, "Okay, I think we can, we can stop here and then continue next time.” Let's say, if you're reading about the plagues, you may want to just read one plague or two plagues. Stop there and then after that you ask them what do you think, what can you learn from, from, from this passage, or better yet, where is Christ here? Where's the gospel here? How can we use this, and then you help them to apply it practically. Oh, you know, between, between siblings, there is a fight, mini fight. You probably know that. You have.. how many siblings? Five siblings. Then, then, as parents, now.. and my wife is so good at this. Yeah. Then, then she will help me. Then, okay. Then, how.. how can we apply this? How can we use this if we are angry? Yeah, how can we use this if let's say someone did this to you or that things like that. Again, let it come naturally from the text. Yeah, there are practical applications, but my point earlier, if all that we get are practical applications devoid of the gospel, then you will end up with moralism, and there's no power there. Lucas Holtvluwer Yeah, you need some heart behind it as well. You need the gospel. Dr. Brian Najapfour And then after that, we sing. Lucas Holtvluwer Yes. Okay. Dr. Brian Najapfour So the one who opens in prayer will have the opportunity to pick a song, so we're using the Trinity Salter hymnal, that the OPC and URC have produced. Excellent. What I like about that hymn book, you have psalms and then hymns together so in a good selection, really good selection of hymns, so we will sing one, and then I always speak the second. We sing two, and sometimes too, we just sing from memory. Let's say, for the sake of our four year old daughter, we can, we can sing in the name of Jesus. In the name of Jesus, we have the victory, you know, something like that, or read your Bible, pray every day, sometimes with, with actions, yeah, and you grow, grow, grow, yeah, so that the little ones can, can relate to it, bring them into it, but at the same time you can sing hymns where the old ones can appreciate better than read your Bible. Sometimes, for some reason, you know that, yeah, as you're entering the teenage year, you somehow feel embarrassed to read your Bible. And then we close in prayer. Yeah, we gathered the prayer request. Okay, do you have prayer requests now? Because they go to school, they, they will share something from the classroom. Please pray for my classmate, his dad is going to have surgery, or please, like one of our teachers, or not teachers, a librarian, she has cancer, Mrs. Chaytor. Okay, so the kids will say, Mrs. Chaytor, pray for Mrs. Chaytor always, every time, every time. To the point that if it is my turn and I'm coming near the end of my prayer, especially the youngest “Mrs. Chaytor”, it's like, don't forget that. Yeah, I hear you. Yes, I will get to Mrs. Chaytor. Yeah, yeah. So, probably 15 minutes by the time you, you're done. Lucas Holtvluwer So there's a kind of like four major parts. There's the Bible reading, there's like the explanation, looking for the gospel, Christology, yeah, and then there's the singing, and then prayer, Dr. Brian Najapfour Yeah. Lucas Holtvluwer Okay, and so when you were putting together this whole go and teach conference, and then you wanted to speak on this issue, what kind of caused you to say, oh, like this is a really relevant topic that we need to talk about, like today, especially like, is it the whole, like, whatever, entertaining ourselves to death kind of thing, like what is distracting us, or how did this habit kind of get lost over the years? Because I know, like, HRC Church, like you guys draw from the Puritans, and kind of that whole tradition a lot too, and there's lots of great things to learn from them as well, including this idea of family worship and trying to revive that and bring that back, but like historically, is that something you looked into at all? Like, oh, like, how did this practice kind of fade out, and why is it so important? I guess to bring it back in. Dr. Brian Najapfour Yeah, it's actually interesting. I think when you look at church history, even among the earlier church fathers, I mentioned the name John. Chrysostom, he was big when it comes to family altar, family worship. Yeah, he would say that our home is a little church, little congregation, and the Protestant reformers, John Calvin, Martin Luther would carry that idea, and especially the Puritans. And then, for some reason, when we reached the 18th century, the rise of evangelicalism, I think the focus shifted from family to personal, and that's why… Lucas Holtvluwer It’s a whole like, expressive individualism. Dr. Brian Najapfour It’s interesting too, because even the hymnology hymns, you will see that, for instance, Charles Wesley, notice his hymns, very personal, Fanny Crosby, that thou, my God, should die for me. My, the me sort… Lucas Holtvluwer of the we in the us and all that. Dr. Brian Najapfour No, there's nothing wrong about that. I'm not saying because they were also reacting to the cold dry spirituality of the Church of England, then in the 18th century, and we thank God for men like George Whitefield, Charles Wesley, Joseph Hart. I did my dissertation on Joseph Hart; he was one of contemporaries of George Whitfield, Charles Wesley, and he himself, Joseph Hart, wrote several hymns, 222 in total. You will probably recognize one of them, Come Ye Sinners, Poor and Needy. Lucas Holtvluwer Oh yeah. He wrote that one. Dr. Brian Najapfour He wrote that one. So he's lesser known compared to other great hymn writers of the 18th century, but same, the focus was personal, and again, please don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong about that, but I think, too, as we moved forward to the 19th century, it became too personal, not familial, not the, not more family, so probably that contributed. I could be wrong, but that's one of my observations in church history. And, of course, fast forward now, 20-first century, with the rise of media, cell phone. You know what's sad, Lucas. I remember my wife and I with our children, we went to this restaurant, and I remember sitting right next to this family, where so the two kids and the parents, they were all holding their cell phones, and they were like this, there was no conversation around the table, so gently I said to my… I remember telling one of my children, I said, do you know this? Look, look at them. Yeah, because our kids, they're excited to have their cell phones. Like, when can I have my cell phone? Not right now. You're only 13 years old, or you're only 11 years old. You need to wait, but look at that. Maybe those children were only maybe 10, 11, 12. They had their own cell phones. There was no conversation. Lucas Holtvluwer Yeah, it's not good. Dr. Brian Najapfour And, and you know, Lucas, to another problem. Actually, my wife, who is a teacher, told me about this when she was in British Columbia, so she went to Fraser Valley University, and there was a course where they, the teachers had to be aware of this, that they, need to teach their students how to interact somehow. Kids, they don't know how to interact, they don't know how to converse, they don't know how to talk. Yeah, and why is it so well? First of all, each room has a television, so here you have a household, a family. If they have two children, three children, they have each will have his or her own bedroom, and there's a television. They, they rarely eat together. Lucas, one child will eat in his own room, the other one in her own room. There is no fellowship around the table. And so, this is, by the way, so common in the world. Like, family worship is so rare. So rare. And I'm afraid that even within a Christian community, and yes, Reformed community, it's becoming so rare too, and that's why we want to, and I'm so glad that you're taking the time to interview me about family worship, because it's a crucial, a very crucial topic, because think about this, if our family is broken, what kind of society shall we expect to have? And when? Because a society is composed of families. When you, when you have weak, broken families, you will have a broken society. And when you have a broken society, you will have a broken nation. And unfortunately our politicians don't see that problem, that we need to strengthen our families, Lucas Holtvluwer Or they come from a lot of broken families, probably. Dr. Brian Najapfour Yeah, no, I did, like that's why I started with emphasizing God's grace, too, because at the end of the day, it's the grace of the Lord that will change us, transform us, but let us not also forget that God is using this means for conversion to save our children and to transform our children to strengthen our family worship. Lucas Holtvluwer Well, you mentioned Joshua 24, “As for me, my house will serve the Lord”, as kind of like a key text in this regard, for sure. And I mean, I think this was a bit later on the outline, but I think it's relevant to what we're talking about right now, in terms of as reform folks, we don't usually get into the language of like we choose to do this or we choose to that, right? We're kind of like allergic, but like in that way, like, why is it so important to say, like, no. As for me, at my house, we will serve the Lord and make that distinct choice, yeah? Like, for you and your wife, maybe you could speak to your experience or what you've seen as a pastor in general, but I don't know if we've, if we, and I say we, as like the collective reform, not like I'm speaking for them, necessarily, but just from in my own mind, maybe like thinking about that as like put your line in the sand, this is what we're going to do, that's kind of a new way of thinking, it's more just like, oh, I've grown up in this, this is yes, this is how our family kind of operates, and these are the things we do, but being very explicit about it and creating some of these good habits around family worship, that's yeah, that's a key choice you make. So, when you were kind of putting together this talk and speaking about this and writing on this, how important was it to say, "Hey, like, put a line in the sand and say, as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord? Dr. Brian Najapfour It's a resolution, Lucas, that we need to make you don't make that on my behalf, that choice, that decision, you don't decide for me as a father of my home, my household, I make that decision, and even if I'm the only father in the world that will do this, I will, by the grace of God, make that decision, that no matter what happens, like in the context of Joshua, and by the way, really, when, when we take that verse within, within its context, you will appreciate better, because prior to that, Joshua has just reminded God's covenant people of what, what the Lord has done for them. Lucas Holtvluwer The whole history, yeah. Dr. Brian Najapfour The Lord has redeemed them from the land of Egypt, from bondage, slavery. The Lord has given them victory over their enemies, the Canaanites, Jebusites. The Lord has given them this promised land, a land flowing with milk and honey, and now Joshua is saying, now therefore choose you this day whom you will serve. In light of this, how can we not serve the Lord, like when we think of what God has done for us, when we think of what He has given to us. Now, of course, in the gospel, in the gospel, He has given us far better, far more better blessings than what the God's covenant people experience that time because in the gospel the deliverance that we have is not just from the slavery bondage of Egypt or Pharaoh, but deliverance from the bondage of sin and bondage of Satan. We have that freedom, not freedom to sin, but freedom to worship. We have been set free. The Lord has given us that, that liberty to worship Him. The Lord has given us this promised land, now the Beulah land, the celestial city that awaits us someday, that we. Will be dwelling in the house of the Lord forever, and not to mention all the spiritual blessings that we have in Jesus, the blessing of justification, that in Christ we have been justified by faith in Him. We have the blessing of salvation, that we have life everlasting blessing of sanctification, that we are being conformed to the image of the Lord Jesus Christ. Day by day, we have the blessing of spiritual adoption, that in Christ we have become the children of God. We belong to God's family, and, and not to mention all the physical and material blessings that the Lord is is giving to us. That's why, in our family, we do our family worship right after our supper. And so you have that natural way of reminding your children, children, the Lord has just blessed us with food. Are you aware that there are other children who are literally starving when we think of the children, for instance, in Gaza, I've seen a lot of videos, yeah, like they are starving, they need food, and, and we can say, my child, the Lord has just fed us, shall we not thank him, shall we not worship him as a family? Look at you. You have nice clothing. You live in a beautiful home. If it is cold outside, we have furnace. If it is hot outside, we have AC. You go to school, there is a school bus. You don't need to walk, whereas some kids will have to walk for five kilometers just to get to school with an empty stomach, they have no food. You can go to school with snacks, you are so blessed. And when we like what one hymn writer says, count your blessings, name them one by one, and it will surprise you to what the Lord has done. You know, we are quick to count what we don't have. Weare quick to count the afflictions and trials and problems, but the moment we pause Lucas, and think of all the blessings the Lord has given to us, then why shall we not choose to serve the Lord, to worship Him. This the least thing that we can do in return for what the Lord has given to us, to have our family worship, where all together we bow down before the Lord, kneel down and say, as a family… Lucas Holtvluwer Do it together. Dr. Brian Najapfour … “Lord, thank you so much. You have been so, so good to us.” I understand there will be a problem, affliction, cancer, loss, death in the family, and when you have that trial, it might not be easy to thank the Lord, but still, when we now focus on Christ and think of His suffering, His agony. Here you have Jesus, who cried out, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? He suffered, He did not sin. Now I deserved to suffer Lucas because of my sin, but Jesus never sinned, and yet He took my sin. He died, and yes, there will be loss - a loss, God forbid you might lose your child. Now, my wife and I, we had two miscarriages. It was not easy. I remember crying like, like a baby, but God, the Father, lost His son too. His son died on the cross, and He can very well relate to us at that moment, and say, Lord, please help me, sustain me as a family, help us as a family, help us to say with Job, the Lord gave, the Lord has taken away, blessed be the name of the Lord, that's family worship. Lucas Holtvluwer It’s there during the highs and during the lows. How did you? Well, I guess maybe how did you, or how do you continue to keep that spirit of thankfulness in your family worship and not let it shift into one of obligation and duty, and having it just become rote Dr. Brian Najapfour Again, once we do our family worship as an expression of our gratitude to the Lord, I think that will change the way we do it. So, in other words, if one of my children were to ask me, "Dad, why do we have to do this? Why do we need to have family devotion, few families on earth do this anyway.” Now, if I, if I say, well, it's a good tradition, it's our tradition, by the way. Well, that's good, but it's not really convincing. Lucas Holtvluwer No. Dr. Brian Najapfour If I say, well, you see, if we don't do this, our elders will come in and maybe castigate me, especially I'm a pastor, I need to do this, set a good example. No, we can, we can give them a better reason, and the reason really is we're doing this because of what Jesus has done for us at the cross of Calvary, this is our way of saying thank you as a family. So, family worship is really a thank you to Jesus for all that He has accomplished for us on the cross of Calvary. Now, our children may not understand it that way, and that's why it's so important that we again help them focus on Christ, because if, if the reason for having family worship is merely material, material, or financial, or physical, well, let's worship the Lord, because the Lord has blessed us, the Lord has given us this food on the table. What if Lucas one day we come to the table and there's no food on it? We're blessed here in Canada, in North America, but think of other Christian families, let's say in, in many countries in Africa, where there is really starvation. How can you, how can you worship the Lord when, when you're so hungry? How can you worship the Lord when you don't even know if you have food tomorrow. How can you worship the Lord if there is severe, intense persecution that you know that that any, any time one of the officials of the government will come and arrest you because of the gospel? It's, it's not easy, but again, if we do family worship because of Jesus, then we have always the reason to do it, and that's really the reason, it's Christ, and so I would, I would encourage parents, families that when we do it, give, give that reason to our children. We do it to say thank you to Jesus for what He has done for us. Because think about this, as the psalmist says, the Lord is good. The Lord is good, and He's always good. And if we really believe that, then we always have a reason to thank him and praise him and worship him. Lucas Holtvluwer Amen to that. You talked earlier about the different areas that kind of correspond with each other, of personal devotion, and then you have family worship, of course, then the corporate worship within church and congregation, as a father, as a husband, as a leader in your home, how do you keep your personal devotional life strong, so that you have that overflow that can feed into, I mean, in your case also as a pastor, but obviously into the family worship, then into your church family as well. Dr. Brian Najapfour Very good question. The key is to be consistent. Now, do I do it all the time? Of course not. There are times that, let's say, as a pastor, let's say you have a meeting, consistory meeting, elders meeting, and you have to go to bed late, sometimes 12 midnight, or something, something happens unexpectedly, or one of my children broke her two wrists. Emergency. Lucas Holtvluwer Oh, wow. Dr. Brian Najapfour So, I do my personal devotion in the morning, and yeah, it's hard to wake up early in the morning, so I had to skip because of what happened, so I might do it later that day, but you want, you want to be consistent, but let's set a time, so like in my case, if you don't set a time, it will never happen. Likewith this interview. Lucas Holtvluwer Yeah, we got a book it. Dr. Brian Najapfour Exactly, exactly. And once you do it, it becomes a habit. Lucas Holtvluwer Yep. Dr. Brian Najapfour You to the point that if you don't do it, you know you're missing something. Yeah, it's like I go to the gym regularly and if I don't go to the gym, my body misses it somehow. There, there is, something is missing. I know that I need to go to the gym. It's the same with my personal devotion. I know that I need, I need to do it to spend time with the Lord. Now, there, there are dangers too, for us ministers of the gospel to substitute right sermon preparation, that that you now do this to replace your personal devotion. Lucas Holtvluwer That's just part of your job. Dr. Brian Najapfour Yes, and I will discourage pastors for doing that. I think it's sacred that we need to protect our personal devotion again. It doesn't need to be long. Now, in my personal devotion, I pray for my children, obviously, and for my congregation also. I can, I can pray for this family, two families, or sometimes you have special requests that you remember. Again, I want to be realistic also, because easily you can spend time just praying. 30 minutes is too short if you want to pray for your members, and not to mention your friends and family members, so you need to say, okay, I need to focus on this time for just one family. I spend like five minutes, 10 minutes, and usually to for my prayer I use my passage, so if I read from Genesis, let's say Genesis chapter seven, chapter eight, let's say about Noah, then you use that in your, in your prayer, you thank God for the ark, for the Lord Jesus Christ, you use that as a basis, otherwise you develop a cliche. And I think that's another thing also that we need to watch as fathers, that we develop cliche cliches, and, and our children will notice that. Yeah, so it's good if your prayer is based on the passage that you, that you read for that devotion. So, yeah, I watch it, I watch my personal devotion, I fail, but I, I want to go back again. Lucas Holtvluwer If it's a habit, give up, you know, you're missing it, that's that's a good key point to take home for all. Dr. Brian Najapfour Doesn’t need to be long. Lucas Holtvluwer But consistent. Dr. Brian Najapfour Yeah, you know, Al Martin, he died recently, and he said in his, in his office, he had two chairs, one chair for his study and one for prayer, for his personal devotion. Well, I only had one chair, but I thought that that was a good way to make that distinction, that you have another chair that you use, Lucas Holtvluwer Your prayer chair. Dr. Brian Najapfour your prayer chair, your worship chair, right. Now, having said that, it should also be that whatever we do that day, whether you are a plumber, a doctor, or a nurse, or a builder, that you do what you do as an act of worship, and so in that case you worship the Lord every day, every single hour. For a mom, when, when you wake up in the middle of the night to change your baby's diaper, when you do it for God's glory, that's an act of worship. So, right there, changing a diaper, you're worshiping the Lord. Lucas Holtvluwer Yep Dr. Brian Najapfour So yeah, we, we want to do everything for God's glory. Start to finish of the day. Lucas Holtvluwer Agreed. What are some of these idols in our culture, specifically in family life, that we can kind of let get in the way of a habit of family worship, because, like, some of the objections you might hear to this would be I don't have the time for it, or I wouldn't know what to say, or isn't, you know, reading the Bible and praying enough. Why do we have to go take these extra steps? Now, you talked about that last one a bit with the idea of gratitude and seeing what Christ has done for us, but what are some idols in our culture today that you see that are inhibiting us from taking the necessary steps to have a healthy regular practice of family worship? Dr. Brian Najapfour Good question. So, generally speaking, an idol is anything that takes priority over over the Lord, it could be your sport, whatever it might be, hockey, hockey game, or basketball. I love basketball, but if basketball becomes my priority, more important. And then the Lord, then that becomes an idol, and I think the challenge too is that again, let's, let's be realistic now, so I'll give you a realistic scenario of our family, so my daughter, she needs to practice piano, and that's in the evening, so that's Monday night, every other Monday night, so that that night she won't be able to join our family devotion, and then my wife too, but I have to do it, so like my myself, and then the other four kids, now is that our preferred time for the practice? No, but that's the only time that she could, she could practice the piano lesson. Yeah, the piano lesson. So, sometimes, sometimes we will, we will wait for her. Sometimes also, let's say I have a meeting, let's say consistent meeting, and then let's say we happen to eat late that night, then the family worship will be shortened.. Lucas Holtvluwer Expedited, yeah. Dr. Brian Najapfour But then I will say, love, that's how I called my wife, yeah, love. I need to go, please just close in prayer without me. But that's not ideal. Lucas Holtvluwer No, Dr. Brian Najapfour Sometimes too, my son, James, will practice baseball. Let’s say Saturday. They're practicing, although I think after for four for four weeks every Saturday night, then after that I forgot exactly which day of the week, because I don't like Saturday, because I protect my Saturday night for my sermon preparation, like final preparation for the Sunday, but anyway, so sometimes he has to go after supper, so then he will miss, but it's not ideal. So, that can be a challenge, by the way, Lucas. So, we need to be careful, because if you do it regularly every day, then something is wrong, but if you do it, let's say occasionally, and with the understanding that, okay, when you come back, we will still do it. You will join us. That's another story. But I think what we're seeing in many families is that, well, they will say they have no time for family worship, but in the meantime, the father has time to go out hunting for four days, he will be gone for four days, or five days. Yeah, he will even go to another province to look for elk or moose. And I have a problem with that, because if you, if you have time to hunt for five days, and you say to me you have no time for family devotion or fishing, they will be gone for two days, three days fishing, but no time for family devotion, that's some something's wrong right there. Lucas Holtvluwer It’s a misalignment. Dr. Brian Najapfour Yes, what is your priority? You're right, or some people would say, well, I, we don't have resources, you know, I can't afford to buy that family worship Bible guide. Well, really, and you have money to buy cigarette or tools for fishing, which are more expensive than maybe tools for family devotion. Yeah, you need the Bible, and if you can afford to buy that guide, family worship Bible guide. So, I think the issue is priority. Is it really a priority? And it goes back to what Joshua said. As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. Choose you this day. We need to make a decision, because if we don't, then the world will make a decision on behalf of our family, and we may not be aware that the world is catechizing our children. Do you actually think that when, let's say, we watch a baseball game or hockey game, and during the break time, or before or after the game, they will, they will play a song. Do you actually think that our kids are not listening to those songs, the conversation that they over, that they overhear from other people attending? Lucas Holtvluwer Yeah. Dr. Brian Najapfour And the world is not neutral. The world has an agenda. The world will teach catechize our children, and we need to counter that. And sometimes we parents, we say, "Oh, what, what happened to my children? What, what have you done?” Sometimes you know, we ask that question to our children. Well, maybe we should ask the question, "What have I done?” As a parent, as a father, because maybe we have let them, we have surrendered our children to the world, and now the world is teaching them with things that are not according to the word of God, even having friends, right? So, if we don't train our children, they have no weapons. Yeah, someone actually said one Puritan, and when you don't have family devotion, family worship, it's like having a house with no roof. Lucas Holtvluwer Yeah. Dr. Brian Najapfour You're open to dangers. Lucas Holtvluwer Yep, yep, you're not protected. Dr. Brian Najapfour You're not protected, yeah. Lucas Holtvluwer But so, given your family circumstance, and you came from a family that was a broken family, and no Christians in that family, and you were able to come to Christ and become a pastor and lead the life you leave lead, rather, if someone were to critique that and say, well, you didn't have family worship growing up and see what the Holy Spirit was able to do in your life, isn't it all the Holy Spirit at the end of the day? How important is it to still take the time and effort to do family worship in light of the power of the Holy Spirit? Dr. Brian Najapfour Yeah, so we believe that it is the Holy Spirit that will regenerate our children, will circumcise their hearts, will save them. Salvation belongs to the Lord. And yet the Holy Spirit, in His word, has given us the responsibility. Also, it is our holy obligation to raise our children in the ways of the Lord, in the fear of the Lord, and one of those ways that we can raise them in the fear of the Lord is through family devotion, and we should not neglect it, but use it, actually take, take advantage of this gift from the Lord, this blessing, it's a blessing, and if let's say one of our listeners, let's say has not yet done this. It's not too late. Lucas Holtvluwer Yeah. Dr. Brian Najapfour You can start now, and that's why going back to the Joshua passage, choose you this day. It speaks of urgency. Joshua did not say choose, choose you tomorrow or next week. No, right now today it's so urgent. Why? Because time is of the essence. Our children, they grow fast. Lucas Holtvluwer Oh yeah. Dr. Brian Najapfour Before you know it, they are out of our home, they are married, they live on their own. So, while we still have this opportunity, golden opportunity, let's take advantage of this, let's seize every opportunity that we have as parents to train them, to help them, to equip them, because we, they will not be forever living with us, they will be going to colleges, and guess what, some of their teachers, professors may not be Christians. How, if we don't equip them, then how can they respond to challenges? So it is our responsibility to equip them, and we can use family worship. I dare say that family worship is really one of the most important things that a father can do for his family. Family worship. Lucas Holtvluwer I would agree. Yeah, it's that daily, you're just again bathing them in the gospel, right? And those, those regular routines of coming together as a family, I mean, you hear it even just in a more general social context of people lamenting the loss of eating dinner together, right, and just in the society kind of breaking down around us, and like you mentioned earlier, families eating in separate rooms and broken families, and that sort of thing, so it's good to good to know that largely we have still retained that, I think, unless you're seeing that as a trend, I feel like people still eat dinner together. Dr. Brian Najapfour Yeah, of course. You know, in my experience, to having been a pastor for 25 years, I have not yet heard someone say to me, someone who is dying, I wish I had worked more, or I wish I had visited this place or that place. When there is a regret, oftentimes it is something like this. I wish I had spent more time with my family. Always like that. I wish I had spent more time with my family. I remember Lucas, one of my professors in the seminary. He said to me, and he said this when his two children were not attending church, were backsliding, they were backsliding. And he said to me, I wish I had prayed more for my children. That was his regret. I remember hearing that. I said, “this is my professor regretting.” You look at him as a godly professor, but he himself has this regret, and he thinks that he had not prayed more enough for his children. Now, of course, we think of God's sovereignty, right? At the end of the day, if your children is not among God's elect, they will not be saved, but we don't use that as an excuse. We have the responsibility, and one of our responsibilities is to pray for our children, and part of our family worship is prayer. Lucas Holtvluwer Yep, it's a good reminder. You mentioned the hymn, I have decided to follow Jesus in your talk, and just how that's an example of family leadership. Can you expand on that, and just kind of explain for our listeners what that's like? Dr. Brian Najapfour Yeah, so there is one version that says this is the story behind this hymn. I have decided to follow Jesus. Several years ago, many, many years ago, there was a family in, in India, I believe, northern part of India, and this family was living in, in a village known for headhunting, really, really terrible, terrible village, pagan, pagan village, but a missionary from the West came, and to make the story short, through this missionary, this family of that village in that I think North East India came to know the Lord Jesus Christ, and when the chief of that village found out about the conversion of this family, especially the conversion of the father. He, he pressured him, he wanted him to recant his faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, and he said, "If, if you don't recant, we will kill, we will kill your wife.” And basically he said, “I have decided to follow Jesus, not turning back, not turning back.” And again the chief said, “Well, if, if you don't really recant, we're going to kill not only your wife, but all your children as well.” And he added, “the world behind me, the cross before me, no turning back, no turning back.” In other words, “I have made this decision. No matter what happens, whatever you do to me, I will not recount my faith in Christ, because I have made this resolution to follow Jesus, no matter what.” And by the grace of God, by the way, they killed his wife, and they also killed him, and even when he was one, one witness said that as they were persecuting, or they were about to kill this father, they kept hearing him say, “the world behind me, the cross before me, no turning back, no turning back”. Now the chief of that village was so touched by the testimony of this father that he declared, “I too will follow Jesus”, and by the grace of God that village turned to be Christian, that pagan village as amazing story. Now, of course, that's a version I have a friend who challenged that. He's a hymnologist, but anyway, if that was true, beautiful story, really. And this will also help us appreciate this hymn, because a lot of people, especially from a Reformed tradition, would not sing that hymn. I have decided to follow Jesus. I think because they associate that with decisionism, or is it Believism? That no, we don't make a decision. Again, the idea of, you know, choosing, we react to that, we become allergic, but it's a biblical expression that indeed we make, we need to make a choice. Yes, we believe in the doctrine of election, but to believe in Jesus is your choice. I can't make that choice for you, Lucas. Yeah, through the spirit, it's my choice that I have to make that I need to believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, but of course in that context here you have a believer who is making a decision to follow Jesus. Now, so it's really within the context of sanctification, and family worship should also be understood within the context of sanctification. In other words, we don't do family worship to gain God's favor. We don't say, "Okay, children, let's do this so that somehow in doing so God can save us.” No, there is no salvific power in family devotion, devotion, but God can use it in the context of sanctification to strengthen our faith. And, and also, God can use that if you have a child who is not yet a believer, as the child hears the gospel from that family worship. Then you pray that the Lord will use that for the conversion of your unbelieving child. Lucas Holtvluwer Yep, it's a, it's a powerful means, means of grace, right? Dr. Brian Najapfour Exactly. Lucas Holtvluwer Yeah, 100% In the home where the husband is not the strongest in his faith, or is not a great leader, but the wife desires her husband to be so, and if, if a wife is listening to this podcast, or whatnot, and thinks that, yeah, we should kind of get this whole family worship thing going, and you know, Dr. Najapfour is making some great points here, and we need to really do this in our home, but doesn't feel like her husband is able to lead her in that regard, or whatnot. What would you kind of say to a wife in that position to help foster some of these habits, even if the whole family's not bought in, so to speak. Dr. Brian Najapfour So interestingly, you brought that up, that question. One of the attendees at the Gointage conference was a mother whose husband doesn't want to have family worship at home, and so I said, “well, you do it, you do it, you lead it. If your husband will not do it, then you take the responsibility, and you pray that as you do that, your husband will be touched by it, will be convicted of his own sin”, because we should take lead, we fathers, that's our primary role, not our wives, but if we're not home, then the wives will take over the responsibility, that happens like in my case too, as a pastor, when I travel, if I speak at this conference. Sometimes I'll be gone for three days, four days. Obviously, I can join my family for family worship. Now, does it mean that we then stop? No, they will continue. So, what we do if I'm at home, they will read a different passage, because we want to save the series. So, our goal is to read the entire Bible. I don't know how long will it take us, but so be it. If it takes us five years, four years, I don't know when. It's okay. So then my wife will read another passage because we want to save the series. So, I would encourage that that wife to take the lead. Do it, do it, and pray to the Lord that eventually your husband will join you, will come to the saving knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ. And sometimes to Lucas, I think I'll give you an example. When I was in Michigan, I met this young man, well, not really young man, he was already in his late 20s, and he was married with kids, and I remember he said to me, "Pastor,” he said to me, "you know what really bothered me when I was growing up, I never heard my dad talk about spiritual things, I never heard my dad talk about the gospel. My dad would, we would have, quote unquote, our family worship, which simply means he would read, and that's it, and then pray, that's it. He would not expound it, elaborate it, nothing at all.” So he saw, he saw that as, as, as, as really a problem. Well, it's good to have that. That's as a blessing, because God could use the mere reading of His word for our conversion, but for him now as a father of his own children, he wants to also explain what they've read, and for him to do that, he needs to prepare, he needs to read, and that's why the idea of family devotion to requires preparation, it has to be intentional, and we need to be prepared as well, which means that, well, as a father, if you, if you can watch a movie for two hours, or if you can watch a baseball game. Now, I remember someone invited me to watch a baseball game, went to the stadium to Toronto Blue Jays. First time, I would not do that when I was in Michigan, no idea about Blue Jays, but so I remember I had to leave three hours before the time. Lucas Holtvluwer It’s quite a commitment to get there. If you go through Toronto. Dr. Brian Najapfour Yes! I had to walk for 15 minutes, because of…. Lucas Holtvluwer the take the train Dr. Brian Najapfour …station, yeah, train station, because we parked, we left my car, I forgot, not the older Lucas Holtvluwer At the older shot go station? Dr. Brian Najapfour No, somewhere here in Hamilton area, I think, and then what, oh yeah, Burlington station, yeah, so we left my car there to the train, yeah, and then the last stop, well, before the stadium, and then you still had to walk for 15, 10, 10 to 15 minutes, and then you had to be there before the time, before you know it, my whole day was gone just to watch this game, Lucas Holtvluwer Yeah Dr. Brian Najapfour One game, and I had to spend, because then the hot dogs and very expensive bottled water, so in my mind I said, “wow, it's really commitment.” Then can we not do the same, right? Can we not commit to doing this family devotion? You spend 30 minutes to read in advance, if you, if you're not confident where you, what you're going to say, then read it in advance, and read commentaries. There are many commentaries that you can buy, read books that will help you develop your skill in family worship. Lucas Holtvluwer There’s so much information out there. Dr. Brian Najapfour So, there's no really excuse now, Lucas. It has to be intentional, Lucas Holtvluwer it's a mindset, Dr. Brian Najapfour A commitment. Lucas Holtvluwer yeah, and like, as a young man leading his family, too, like, it's just, yeah, you see, like, I grew up with, with this sort of habit of family worship, but to, yeah, to think about it this intentionally, and to, to really, yeah, make sure it's a priority is, is definitely a mindset shift, which, yeah, seeps in from the culture, you don't realize it, but you have to, you really have to put your stake in the ground and be like we're doing this, and like, or… Dr. Brian Najapfour It will never happen. Lucas Holtvluwer Yeah, you're not going to just find your way into it, it's not a natural thing to do, right? Dr. Brian Najapfour And Lucas, to the more you do it, you get better, yeah of course, maybe your first, your first year, or first few months of doing it, don't expect to be an expert right away, because even myself, I'm not an expert. You always learn, and what's wonderful, too, your wife can help you. When you ask your children, they say things that I've never thought about. Oh, like it's amazing to use in my sermon preparation, too. I said, "Oh, I'm going to use that idea, precious idea. And even when kids ask questions, like they ask you, "Okay, why did God create the tree of the knowledge of good and evil? That's not fair. Why, if God knew that Adam would sin, why did He create Adam? Why? Why? There is hell? You know those questions now. There are times when to be honest and say good question, and I don't know the answer. Let me, let me study that, that subject. I'll maybe, yeah, yeah, and be honest. And then that, that should make you excited. Yeah, excited to do that. Okay, I have an assignment. My child is asking me this question. I want to, I want to answer it. Yep, so we can learn. We can learn. Lucas Holtvluwer Yeah. Well, it's nice that your kids always start young and then you get older, right? So, like, I have a two year old and three year old, and it's like, okay, you get some of the questions and you get it, you get a while to kind of grow in it, and as a teacher and explainer, and yeah, it's a blessing that way, for sure, too. Okay, I feel like I don't know for sure, but I'm guessing we're running tighter on time, so we get in the old wrap-up symbol here. So I'll hit you with a couple quicker ones to kind of end off. Yeah, I guess we kind of touched on this in terms of like people might object to the family worship to say, like, oh, this is too formulaic, and it's just like, you know, you put these inputs in, you get these outputs out. Where's the Holy Spirit in this? How do we.. how do you.. I guess keep that in mind when you're doing your family worship, or when you're pastoring other families to say, like, yes, put these habits in place, these are good habits, holy habits, even. They serve your sanctification in your sanctification process, but they are not the end all be all in themselves, either. Right? How do you kind of help people to kind of keep, keep both of those things in hand when they're thinking about family worship, that it's not this like easy formula, like your kids aren't guaranteed to be saved, because you're doing family worship, right? Yeah, how do you kind of guide people through that process? Dr. Brian Najapfour You just answered it on to the next. That will save us time. Lucas Holtvluwer That will save us time. Dr. Brian Najapfour It’s no guarantee. There's no guarantee, not because you have family worship, doesn't mean that all your children will be saved, but the Lord is pleased to use that means too, to save them. So, Lucas Holtvluwer And it's a calling. Dr. Brian Najapfour Yeah, it’s a calling, our responsibility, our duty. So we, we do it mindful that at the end of the day it is the Holy Spirit who will bless this, this means, and that's why we prayed too. Yep, we pray before, we pray after. Lord, bless this family worship. If Lucas Holtvluwer If you had one closing thought, for maybe in particular, like for fathers in the home, a kind of a closing like charge to leave with them, what would that be? Dr. Brian Najapfour I would say maybe addressing those fathers who have not yet done family worship. Lucas Holtvluwer Yeah. Dr. Brian Najapfour Do it now, don't wait. Time is time is too short, and think about this too. Lucas Holtvluwer You only have a few years to train them, Dr. Brian Najapfour By the time they turn 18, they want to be independent, they might move, maybe go elsewhere for college, then you don't have that opportunity anymore. So, basically, you have 18 years to train them, and if we think that, well, that's a lot of years. No, that means 18 summers, only 18 summers. So do it now, and if let's say you're doing it, but like what we discussed, maybe you're just reading, you're not really elaborating, guiding your family. Then pray to the Lord and look for tools that can help you. There are many books, resources, reform book services, they can always ask them, do you have books on family worship that I can, I can use, learn, or podcast, something like this, a similar podcast, for sure. They can google online also how to, how do it. Listen to messages on Family Worship Sermon audio.com is a good resource. Lucas Holtvluwer Come to your conference. Dr. Brian Najapfour Yeah, come to our conference. So, my point is that there's no excuse. No, do it, do it now, and, and do it as an expression of your gratitude for what God has done to us, and for us, and in us, and through us in the Gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ. Lucas Holtvluwer Wonderful. Well, Dr. Najapfour, really appreciate your time on the podcast. It's been a pleasure. Dr. Brian Najapfour Yeah, thank you. Thank you, Lucas, and to our listeners. Thank Lucas Holtvluwer And to our listeners, thank you for listening along. And if you have any questions, comments, concerns, feel free to send them in, and maybe we'll have you back one day again too. Dr. Brian Najapfour Wonderful, I'll be delighted again. Lucas Holtvluwer Wonderful. Okay, it's been real talk. We'll catch you next time. Closing Thanks for tuning in to Real Talk. If this episode inspired you, please share it with a friend, so you can continue this conversation in your own life. We encourage you to send us your feedback, or let us know who you would like to hear on the podcast. You can email us at Real Talk at Performed perspective.ca This episode is produced by Tyler Vanderwood, Lucas Holtfleur, and Mariah Taminga in partnership with Performed Perspective. Until next time, keep having Real Talk....

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Technology

On being smartphone-free for five years

Way back in the Fall of 2021, I ditched my iPhone and got a dumbphone. I was sick of how my smartphone was a major distraction in my life. My phone began to use up too much of my brain space and mental energy. Parts of my brain were always thinking about stuff on my phone: baseball scores, texts from friends, emails, my eBay store, a backpacking forum, and other similar things. Though I haven’t ever done too much with social media or YouTube, I was still on my phone way too much. I tried apps that helped minimize screen time, and they did help to some extent. But I wanted to try a clean break and get a dumbphone. Great advice is readily available By the way, it is pretty easy to try out a dumbphone. Most flip phones aren't terribly expensive, and you can often just swap SIM cards with your other phone. I started with a Nokia 6300. Then I got a CAT S22 flip phone and debloated it. I also tried out a $25 TCL flip phone. More recently, I got a Light Phone II. Note: The book Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport was a huge help in my move to a dumb phone. I highly recommend it! Jose Briones' book, Low Tech Life is also quite helpful. There are plenty of resources out there to help people minimize their phone usage because it is such a big problem. Fast-forward to over four years later: I have not gone back to a smartphone. And I’m not planning on doing so in the near future. For me, life is better without a smartphone in most situations. I can hang out with my friends and family and be completely present with them – my phone isn’t tugging at my attention. It’s no longer on my mind at all. I can stand in line at a store and talk to people or just think about random things rather than stare at a phone out of boredom. I don’t need email or a web browser when I’m at a baseball game, a movie, or out shopping for groceries. I still text a few times each day and make phone calls, but I’m pretty much never on it. In fact, without a smartphone, my brain is less cluttered, my thoughts are less distracted, and my attention span has increased. I don’t ever suffer from dopamine withdrawal, and I’m not anxious or in a zombie-like state from doomscrolling for hours. And no longer does a smartphone affect my sleep. I have more time each day because I’m rarely on my phone. For me, minimal phone time has had maximum life benefits. Speaking of anxiety and doomscrolling, another book I recently read is The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt. It is a book that documents the rise of adolescent/teen anxiety, depression, and other mental issues in the last ten years or so. The reason for these increases, Haidt argues, is that most children in the last ten years have had a screen-based childhood rather than a play-based childhood. It's a good book for parents to read. The author's advice and my advice is this: don't get your kids a smartphone until they're older – I'd say 17 or 18. As another author bluntly put it, don't get your kids a smartphone until you're prepared to deal with pornography in the home. Dumbphones, flip phones, and helpful apps Now, I realize that some people with certain jobs might be unable to move to a dumbphone because of their work or travel. For example, a friend of mine is a dispatcher and his smartphone is crucial for him to get his job done well. If your phone is truly important for work, you could perhaps get a dumbphone for evenings and weekends. As I mentioned above, you can also find apps that help minimize your screen time. There are various tried-and-true ways to help you avoid excessive screen time and its associated negatives. For those of you who don’t absolutely need a smartphone for work or another legitimate reason, I’d challenge you to do a digital detox and stop using one for a set number of days. Read Digital Minimalism and follow the advice there. Or read Catherine Price’s How to Break Up with Your Phone and give it a shot. As I mentioned earlier, cheap flip phones are an option for a digital detox. Thankfully, quite a few dumbphones and semi-dumbphones have come out in the last few years (see Dumbphones.org for a helpful list). Your brain will thank you I know that for some people, giving up a smartphone is almost impossible because the level of addiction is high. We’re not called the “dopamine nation” for nothing! But trust me, you can break up with your smartphone. You can take steps and develop habits to get your life back, regain your mental focus, and be present once again. You may want to get rid of your smartphone! Do you dare? Or maybe you just need a good app and an accountability partner. Whatever the case, I can say, based on some years of experience, that living without a smartphone is possible and beneficial. But even if you don’t totally give up your smartphone, I hope you find that drastically minimizing your smartphone use is a personal goal you make. And I guarantee that if you seriously cut down on your phone use, your brain will thank you! Shane Lems is the pastor of Covenant Orthodox Presbyterian Church in Hammond, Wisconsin, and blogs on books (and dumbphones too) at ReformedReader.wordpress.com, where a version of this article first appeared....

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