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Being the Church

Being thrifty and finding hope

In his “science of happiness” class at Harvard Business School, Arthur Brooks teaches that of the five things you can do with money, four could make you happy. What are these four, and what’s the fifth one that can’t bring joy? As Brooks explained on The Ramsey Show:

“You can buy experiences, you can buy time, you can give it away, or you can save it…. your brain is telling you to do the one thing that won’t bring happiness, which is to go buy stuff.”

Although Brooks is generally correct, a recent visit to the Hope for Children Thrift Store in Langley, BC, taught me that there is an important exception. There I experienced how buying and selling “stuff” can bring more than happiness. It can bring hope.

That isn’t because it is a bargain, regardless of how much that may make our heart sing at the till. Rather, it is because of the people and mission that drive the store. Peel away the surface and you discover that by buying “stuff” at this thrift store, you end up accomplishing all the other ways that Brooks says your money can buy happiness: buying experiences and time, saving, and giving things away. In other words, this thrift store reveals the secret to how our “stuff” can be used to bring lasting hope and joy.

Saving a dollar

Taking a few steps into the thrift store, the first thing I noticed was people. Everywhere. The place was hopping. Customers were swarming the clothing racks and the till. I watched as one lady, who appeared to be homeless, asked the volunteer at the till to show her a piece of jewellery that caught her eye in the display case. The item was only a dollar or two, and the would-be buyer was eager to try it on.

The store wasn’t entirely new to me. My mother-in-law has volunteered here for years and, when we visit the area, my family frequently shops at the store. Even when we aren’t in the area, my mother-in-law often has a list of items to keep an eye out for – things our family needs, like a pair of boys’ running shoes, or winter mitts.

Coming from a family of ten, I was raised on thrift store finds, and I became a thrift shopper myself when I moved out of the home and attended university. I have grown to love thrift stores, not just because of the cost-savings, but also because they accomplish so much more. That is why I went to Hope for Children – to pull the curtain back on the side to thrifting that so many don’t see.

Saving vulnerable children

I turned away from the till to be greeted by the store’s bright-eyed manager, Fiona Jansen. She took me to the one small place in the building where there wasn’t a bustle: the volunteers’ coffee room.

Jansen explained why the thrift store was first started 10 years ago. About 17 years ago, Jeremy VanBeelen and Duane Visscher, two young men from the local Reformed community, had traveled to an orphanage in Mexico for a short-term mission project. The work pulled on their hearts so much that they stayed, devoting their lives to the orphanages. “We had a couple of families connected to the ministries that were serving in Mexico,” Jansen explained. “The thrift store is a really great way to raise money…and so people got excited.” With the help of some people who had experience running a thrift store, a core group got “Hope for Children Thrift Store” off the ground. The store was named after the organization overseeing the orphanages in Mexico.

Indeed, the thrift store has been a great way to raise money. Around seven years in, they had raised over a million dollars for Children of Hope, and the total is now well over $1.2 million today.

“We don't support any day-to-day or salaries… because if something were to go wrong, all of a sudden the children couldn't eat or a family wouldn't get their salary.” Instead, they fund infrastructure projects, including dorms, solar panels, vehicles, and security walls at the nine orphanages and soup kitchens in Mexico.

Jansen was able to witness the impact of the support first-hand, joining a tour of the orphanages.

“I went as the thrift store representative, and then we toured all the different ministries that we were supporting. That Sunday we had a service at Pan de Vida and I was sitting beside a Mexican lady. I didn't know her, and I couldn't speak with her, but afterwards they introduced us. ‘These are the members of the board from Children of Hope, and this is Fiona. She's from Hope for Children, the thrift store,’ and this lady turned to me, and she was just crying. And she's , thank you, thank you.

“It was quite amazing to see the gratitude, and then to see the good things that are going on there. God is doing amazing things there, and to hear the stories of the children: what they've been rescued from, how they're growing, and that they're safe and learning about the Lord. It's amazing.”

The joy of meaningful work

Some of the crew from a typical Thursday morning.

The thrift store blessings don’t end with the recipients of the money. It extends to over 80 volunteers who keep the store running.

Jansen explained that they welcome volunteers from all walks of life, from high school students looking for volunteer hours on their resume, to adults who are seeking community and a chance to make a difference, and seniors who are eager to bless others with the skills and experience that God has given them through their lives. A core group of these volunteers has served with Hope for Children since its beginning.

One of these volunteers is Jake Bredenhof, who stepped into the coffee room while Jansen and I were meeting. Bredenhof started working at the thrift store in 2015, as he was in the process of selling the family’s chicken farm in the neighboring community of Cloverdale. Although Jake and his wife Lee later moved to Abbotsford, they both are happy to make the 25-minute commute to continue serving at the store.

Jake works in the back, where new donations arrive. “Every day is a little bit like Christmas because you don’t know what is in the next box,” he explained. He sorts the books, jewelry, bedding, clothes, appliances, and is “basically the front-runner of all the donations that come in.” “You meet a lot of really nice people, who have been donating to the store for years already.”

Jake and Lee aren’t the exception in his congregation, the Aldergrove Canadian Reformed Church, which has over 60 seniors. Some drive for the Cancer Society, others for Meals on Wheels, and others volunteer at the local food bank and other thrift stores closer to Abbotsford. “It is a stewardly way of giving back to the community,” he reflected.

Jansen also pointed to a picture of a lady on the bulletin board of the coffee room, who recently passed away. “She was 80, and she was feeling blue, and her doctor said ‘you need to find something to keep you busy.’’’ The answer was right around the corner. “She was walking home from the doctor's office, and she saw this store, and she said ‘they do things to help kids. I love kids. I'm going to see if I can volunteer.’ She volunteered here till she died.”

I asked Jansen if there was anything surprising that she’d learned working at the store.

“I would say that I gained a whole new understanding of age. So many of my volunteers are well into their 70's and even 80's and yet here they are working hard and loving it. Retirement doesn't mean sitting on a rocking chair and watching the world go by. I have been amazed at how active and selfless volunteers are, at any age.”

Jansen also shared that some of their volunteers aren’t Christians, though they open the day with devotions. “But most of the time people sit there and participate, and we've had positive things come from that too.” She gave the example of a girl who had drifted away from church but, through the fellowship at the thrift store, came back and was baptized. Bredenhof noted that allowing non-Christians to volunteer has “never been a problem.”

When I asked Jansen what in particular the volunteers enjoyed about serving at the thrift store, she shared that some simply enjoy interacting with the community, being able to hear the stories of those who come in and even being able to share the Gospel with them. “People love to tell them about where the money's going, and then they can share stories about what's going on in Mexico.”

A volunteer wearing very cool thrifted pants.

“When I was in need you fed Me and clothed Me”

The thrift store doesn’t just provide for the needs of those in Mexico. The clothing and used goods provide critical relief for those in need in their own community of Langley, including some of the homeless who frequent the store.

“At certain times of the month they are coming and paying, and other times of the month they're not. There are times when people will ask and I will always say yes.” Jansen also explained that for those who ask frequently, she will only provide free clothing once a month.

“I've had a woman come, and she says ‘I have to go to court. I have nothing. Can I have an outfit?’ We gave her an outfit.”

In addition to the clothing and merchandise, the thrift store has a shelf with free food.

“We have a guy who started on his own picking up food. I think he saw it getting chucked at Safeway. So now he goes to a few different places every day, and then he brings it to us, and then we put it out on our free shelf.”

Because of the free food, every day there is a lineup outside the door, waiting for the store to open.

That said, Jansen explained that the majority of the shoppers aren’t in that kind of need. “We get a lot of crafters who come specifically for our crafting department because we have an exceptional craft department for our thrift store.” To add to this, “we get young people who are just out having a good time together with their friends.” Overall, there aren’t as many low-income people as she expected.

Lasting hope

Arthur Brooks is correct that “buying stuff” generally won’t bring happiness. God made us with hearts, souls, and minds, all of which were made for so much more than consumption. We were made to experience fellowship with God and our neighbors. My visit reminded me how that is exactly what Hope for Children, and so many other thrift stores, accomplish. Stuff fades and eventually is thrown out. But the relationships forged through service and generosity abide eternally.

So, if you want to buy happiness, visit your local thrift store.

Pictures graciously provide by Fiona Jansen.

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Assorted

How to write

…for Reformed Perspective ***** Everyone has at least one article in them – I’m convinced that’s true. It doesn’t matter who I’m talking to, they all have a story, some lesson, a piece of wisdom earned or received, that is so valuable they should feel obligated to share it with the rest of us (Ps. 71:17-18). Sure, we aren’t all writers, and yes, there are other ways of telling “the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord” (Ps. 78:4b). Sharing can happen via chats at church, over coffee, or in the car with the kids. Maybe you can start your own podcast – that could be brilliant too. But there is something about putting pen to paper and just pondering, what has the Lord been teaching me? And if it’s something you’d share with your spouse, friends, or kids, then couldn’t a few thousand others benefit too? You don’t even have to be the writer to get it down on paper – one of my favorite Reformed Perspective articles is Alice Kuik’s World War II remembrance “War through the eyes of a child,” as told to her writer friend Jane DeGlint. Together they crafted something that should be read every single Remembrance Day. The point is, we all have our God to glorify, and we all have a story to share, and pulling out your laptop and typing away might be a really good way of doing both. But what if you’ve never written much of anything before? Well, then you’re like the new homeowner who has to figure out for the first time how to get your shower draining like it should. There’s nothing to it but to start, turn to whatever advisors you might have at hand (“Hey dad, have you ever…?”), ask YouTube and ChatGPT for a few tips too, and then slog through until something works. Yes, there are master plumbers out there who could do it better, and master writers too – folks who can just churn out poetic, punchy stuff – but for the rest of us, it is just a matter of putting in the sweat and time. And I’m here to help too. While I can’t make it easy, I can make it easier. What follows are my own best tips, the same half dozen I’ve been sharing with aspiring writers, and repeating to myself every time I’ve run stuck, these last 25 years. I’m not sure I like the acronym (so if you think up an alternative let me know) but I’m going to run with it – let’s see if we can get your writing to pass the SMELLS test. 1) Specific detail (or, Show, don’t tell) If I told you that Wes Huff is a witty Christian apologist, you’d have to take my word for it. But what if I showed you? In his recent appearance on The Joe Rogan Experience, Huff explained why it’s not enough to respect Jesus as a great teacher: “I have a friend, Andy Bannister. He’s out in the UK, and he says if you take Christ out of Christian, all you’re left with is Ian. And Ian’s a great guy but he’s not going to save you from your sins.” Now, instead of just taking my word for it, you’re a witness – this guy is funny. Specific details like this key quote help a writer to show, rather than tell. Specific details that liven up your writing could include pertinent statistics (so long as it isn’t just dry data), on-the-ground facts, setting-the-scene descriptions, and the right biblical text. The key here is specificity. The difference between an insightful blog post read by only dozens and an insightful article read by thousands can come down to whether the writer is talking in generalities, or whether he is willing to dig up specific examples and illustrations and facts and figures. So, it’s one thing to say abortion is devastating and another thing entirely to say that it may account for 52% of all deaths worldwide. It’s one thing to say we are facing a demographic crisis, and another to explain, as Mark Penninga recently did, that “if we look at Italy, in just 30 years it is projected that 60 percent of Italians will have no brothers, no sisters, no cousins, no aunts, and no uncles.” It’s specific details that catch our attention and drive home the truth. 2) Murder your darlings In her latest book, Upheld, Christine Farenhorst remembers when her husband Anco was taking classes in veterinary school, and they were thankful for folks who’d take compassion on their poor student status and invite them over. The Pots were an example, but “rather impoverished themselves.” So when Mrs. Pot offered her a pastry, Christine was grateful for the treat. But after a few bites, she was horrified to discover her pastry was full of mold. Should she say something? The elderly woman was quite delighted with her own piece: “Isn’t it good? I’ll bet you haven’t eaten anything like this for a long time!” “Mrs. Pot beamed at me again and a patch of sunlight caught a faded spot of the carpet. I knew she considered both Anco and myself underfed, and had taken great pains to buy something special for us.” And so, Christine ate it all down as quickly as she could, and when asked whether she’d like another piece, she “croaked a trifle hoarsely” that no, she did not, “but it was delicious.” “ appeared very pleased with the comment, and I knew that my statement, strange as it sounded to my stomach, was Gospel truth to my heart.” I love this exchange, and since reading it I’ve wanted to use it in an article about how Christians’ love of the truth needs to be better understood. The point I want to make is that it would be no lie for a high school boys’ basketball team to identify as girls for one particular game against that team – the one with the “girl” with the 5 o’clock shadow who’s been dominating the women’s league. In trouncing that team, our boys would be highlighting the truth that men are not, and cannot become, women. I wanted to use Christine’s story because here too, a lie is no lie at all – the cake was both disgusting and also delicious; stomach-churning, and heart-warming all the same. But try as I might, I can’t make Christine’s story fit smoothly. It is a fantastic story, but to include it and explain its relevance will only complicate things, distracting from my point, rather than illustrating it. And so, for my purposes, I need to cut it (though in Christine’s book, it is perfectly placed). This is what G.K. Chesterton meant when he said “Murder your darlings” (or was it Faulkner?). Every line and paragraph in your piece has to advance your plot or argument. If it doesn’t, it can’t matter how much you like that passage – how well written it is, or how funny – it needs to go. So yes, you must be able to “murder” your favorite lines, paragraphs, and examples. 3) Evocative God’s Word is evocative – He calls us to not only hear, but to live out what He’s told us (Matt. 7:24-27; James 1:22-25). That’s what we want in RP articles too – there needs to be a call to action. The reader should not, once the conclusion is consumed, be able to simply file this away for information. We are trying to pass along wisdom, not just knowledge, so an article has to evoke a response: it needs to become wisdom used. 4) Lead (or lede) line The most important sentence in your article is the first one, with the second almost as much so – if you don’t grab readers right from the start, flipping the page is really easy to do. That’s why your lead line and lead paragraph have to start things off with a bang and it’s also why I spend the bulk of my editing time on just the first few lines of each article. What’s the key to a good lead? A question can draw a reader in – here are examples from the last couple issues: • How do you buy a house when you are 19? • Want to reduce your chances of being depressed? A pithy quote (both, again, from last issue) can also be a strong start: • “How we see is who we be.” – a wise pirate • “The public school has become a counter-church” – Abraham Kuyper And a solid standby is to begin with an anecdote – pull us in with a story. But while there are all sorts of tricks, it’s really about effort. Flip through a few RP issues and study how each article begins, and jot down the openers you like best. Then figure out what you liked about them. Grab a Christian Renewal or your local paper, pull up your news feed, and start collecting the best beginnings. Learn by just opening your eyes to the writing you are reading every day. 5) Less is more Blaise Pascal quipped this apology in one of his articles: “I have made this longer than usual because I have not had time to make it shorter." Brevity takes time, but it’s key to readability. If you could have said it in two pages but take four, you either won’t get your article accepted in the first place, or your double-stuffed piece will get half the readership it might otherwise have. So a key to good writing is to be a good editor who can cut away all the fluff and confusion. Fortunately, if you are a reader (as every writer should be), you have all the makings for being a pretty decent editor – you can already tell when something is wordy, confusing, or repetitive. So get your first draft down, put it away for a week, and then with fresh eyes get to cutting, cutting, and more cutting. 6) So and but, not and Not all your paragraphs should begin with “so” or “but” – that would get repetitive fast –but it’d be good if it was at least possible. These are transitional words that show there’s a tight linkage from one paragraph to the next. In contrast, if you could only begin a paragraph with “and,” it would indicate that this paragraph isn’t all that connected to what came before it. You can test that out on this article, and here are some sentences that illustrate the same point: • I ordered a chicken burger and an egg salad so I could see which came first. • I tried to write a joke about procrastination but I never got around to it. With “so” and “but” the second part of the sentence is responding to the first. We end up with what’s basically a very short story, and that’s great because stories are great. But substitute the word “and” in either case and you just have a series of unrelated events. I ordered a chicken burger, and I ordered an egg salad, and I could see which came first. If that’s how your article sounds, you need to work on your transitions, tightening up your story or argument so it’s clear how it flows from one paragraph to the next. Conclusion This SMELLS Test is just a half dozen tips that should be taken for the helpful suggestions they are intended to be, and not as some sort of unbreakable rules. Shucks, sometimes these tips conflict. For example, in writing up Tip #2, I wanted to use some “specific detail” to “show rather than just tell” what it would look like to have to “murder your darlings.” All that showing meant it became one of my longer tips, ignoring Tip #5, that “Less is more.” However, in this case I judged that more was more. Some of these tips are more important than others, and #3 is a big one, so I don’t want to end without issuing my own “evocative” call to action. So, how about it? Will you seriously consider writing for RP? Yes, not everyone is a writer… but it sure does seem like we’re all storytellers, and that’s almost the same thing. If you’ve got a story you’ve just had to share with all your kids or grandkids, or if you’ve been sharing business tips or marriage, parenting, mentoring, and general life lessons, how about sharing them with a few thousand more? If God has gifted you a lesson, pass it on. We’re not all writers… but that doesn’t mean we can’t be. ***** You can send your queries or articles to [email protected] and I’ll try to get back to you within two business days. If you want to dig deeper into the topic of writing as a Christian, you can’t go wrong buying a copy of Marvin Olasky’s “Reforming Journalism,” which offers all sorts of thoughts and lessons. For more tips in a much shorter format, see ReformedPerspective.ca/write-for-RP....

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In a Nutshell

Tidbits – March 2025

C.S. Lewis on the danger of indulging in “outrage porn” The term “outrage porn” was coined by a New York Times writer, Tim Kreider to describe the way our culture seems addicted to seek out things to be offended by. More than 60 years ago, in his book Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis offered up his own assessment on this tendency in us. "Suppose one reads a story of filthy atrocities in the paper. Then suppose that something turns up suggesting that the story might not be quite true, or not quite so bad as it was made out. Is one’s first feeling, 'Thank God, even they aren’t quite so bad as that,' or is it a feeling of disappointment, and even a determination to cling to the first story for the sheer pleasure of thinking your enemies as bad as possible? If it is the second then it is, I am afraid, the first step in a process which, if followed to the end, will make us into devils. You see, one is beginning to wish that black was a little blacker. If we give that wish its head, later on we shall wish to see grey as black, and then to see white itself as black. Finally, we shall insist on seeing everything - God and our friends and ourselves included - as bad, and not be able to stop doing it: we shall be fixed forever in a universe of pure hatred." Gay rights are not civil rights "...the gay revolution is not the successor of the civil rights movement of the 1960s; it is the successor of the sexual revolution of the 1960s. Getting a grasp on this, we get a grasp on where our culture is really headed, helping us recognize that our embrace of homosexuality (even the more committed, less promiscuous kind) is part of our larger descent into sexual anarchy." – Michael Brown, in Outlasting the Gay Revolution On campaign promises “The politician’s promises of yesterday are the taxes of today.” – Mackenzie King “The politician's promises of today are his taxes of tomorrow.” – Jon Dykstra Best pro-life slogan ever In defending the unborn it’s important we not be defensive. Ours is not some regrettable, embarrassing position; it’s the obvious one. And we need to act like that, making it clear to all who are confused that the only sane position is to be against killing babies. Too often we’re scared to defend the unborn. What if someone whose had an abortion reads our pro-life shirt and starts yelling at us? What if someone sees our pro-life bumpersticker and just goes off on us? Though the other side is defending the indefensible we let them go on the offensive, screaming us into silence. We need to set this debate aright putting the baby-killers in their proper place: the defendant’s bench. This slogan “Yes, I’m anti-abortion. Why aren’t you?” crafted by Students for Life does just that, first making it clear that of course we’re against killing babies, and then demanding an accounting from those who hold the pro-death position. What possible reason could anyone give to justify killing babies? Abortion is a great and obvious evil. This is the way we need to talk. Mensa jokes What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question? A photon was going through airport security when security asked him if he had any luggage. The photon replied, “No, I’m traveling light.” A German walks into a bar and ask for a martini “Dry?” inquires the bartender. “Nein,” the German replies, “just one.” SOURCE: Andy Simmon’s "25 Jokes that make you sound like a genius” in the Sept. 2014 issue of Reader’s Digest. “But the Bible promotes slavery!” “The answer to such people is that if they cannot understand books written for grown-ups, they should not talk about them.” – C.S. Lewis in Mere Christianity on how we should approach people who attempt to ridicule the Bible by taking a small bit of it out of context (he was specifically addressing ridicule directed at the thought people playing harps in heaven – Rev. 14:2 – but his appoint applies more broadly) Psalm One Hundred and Sixty-Six Anyone who knows anything about Corrie Ten Boom knows that this was a woman of great faith – she hid Jews in World War II because she trusted the Lord would take care of her, no matter what might happen. In her autobiography The Hiding Place she also shows herself to be a women of great humor, recounting a version of this joke/riddle from those days. Do you know how Psalm One Hundred and Sixty-Six begins? But there is no Psalm One Hundred and Sixty-Six! It goes only to 150. Shall I recite it for you? Please do! “Shout for joy!” Ah, but that’s only the beginning of Psalm One Hundred! And Sixty-Six too! Words that mean their opposite (or close to) Stylist to customer: "I can clip your hair, certainly, but would you like me to clip it off or together?" The general manager was tired and wanted to resign. But the money was too good, so instead he decided to resign, this time with a four-year deal. Giving Forgetful Fred oversight of the packing led to many oversights. The UN gave us sanction to impose sanctions on Iran. It is scientific to say the Sun goes around the Earth Some Bible critics say that Joshua 10:12-14 can be used to show that the Bible is not trustworthy when it comes to scientific matters. Here we read that at Joshua’s command the Sun stood still and as we all know it is the Earth that moves, not the Sun. So this passage gets it wrong, right? Not so fast! Even today we talk about the Sun as if it moves – setting and rising – and no one complains that we’re being unscientific when we do so, or doubts our ability to be clear about other matters. For example, when a house builder says his latest building project will be done in six days we won’t assume he actually meant six million years just because we also heard him talk about seeing the sun rise that morning. Days still mean days even when someone talks about the sun rising. But let’s pick nits for the moment and consider if there is any way at all we can find fault with Joshua’s statement. Sure, it makes sense in common terminology, but it still doesn’t make sense scientifically speaking, right? Not so fast! It turns out it is perfectly valid, scientifically speaking, to talk of the Sun being in motion around the Earth. Why? Because motion is relative – i.e. it is measured compared to some other object. Most of the time the other object we are comparing our motion to is not explicitly stated – when we go driving, or running, or even biking, we are measuring our motion relative to the ground but we never actually state that. So when we say a train is traveling 20 miles an hour east, it would be more precise to say it is traveling 20 miles/hr. east relative to the ground. But the ground isn’t the only frame of reference we use – we can choose to use another. If a fellow was on this train, and walking 10 miles an hour towards the back (westward) we could say he was travelling 10 miles an hour eastward relative to the ground, or we could say he was moving 10 miles an hour westward relative to the train. Both are valid and true. When it comes to our Solar System we most commonly – because it has the strongest gravitational pull – speak of motion as it is compared to the Sun. And relative to the Sun it is the Earth that is doing all the moving. But we could choose a different frame of reference. Relative to the center of the Milky Way Galaxy the Sun is also moving. Now, if we chose the Earth as our frame of reference (a logical choice, since this is our vantage point) and described all motion relative to the Earth then we could say, scientifically and accurately, that it is the Sun that goes around the Earth! And that’s the reference point that Joshua chose to use. So Joshua 10:12-14 can’t be used to undermine the clarity of the clear six-day creation account in Genesis 1 and 2. In fact, if you find someone trying to do just that, we should instead understand this attempt as undermining the critic’s credibility! Innerancy: a small huge difference In his book Everyone’s a Theologian, R.C. Sproul notes how two very different positions on inerrancy can seem quite similar at first glance. He writes: "...note the difference in the following two statements: A. The Bible is the only infallible rule of faith and practice. B. The Bible is infallible only when it speaks of faith and practice. "The two statements sound similar, but they are radically different. In the first statement, the term only sets Scripture apart as the one infallible source with authoritative capacity. In other words, Scripture is the rule of our faith, which has to do with all that we believe, and it is the rule of our practice, which has to do with all that we do. "These words change their orientation in the second statement. Here the word only restricts a portion of the Bible itself, saying that it is infallible only when it speaks of faith and practice. This is a view called 'limited inerrancy,' and this way of viewing Scripture has become popular in our day. The terms faith and practice capture the whole of the Christian life, but in this second statement, 'faith and practice' are reduced to a portion of the teaching of Scripture, leaving out what the Bible says about history, science, and cultural matters. In other words, the Bible is authoritative only when it speaks of religious faith; its teachings on anything else are considered fallible." Jesus never said? In a guest appearance on the Piers Morgan Live talk show that used to run on CNN, the host asked Dr. Michael Brown about Jesus’ thoughts on homosexuality. PIERS MORGAN: "Can you point to a single public utterance by Jesus Christ – the Christ in Christianity – about gay people or about a gay lifestyle? Can you name one single thing?" DR. MICHAEL BROWN: "I’ll name you three for you Piers. Number one, in Matthew 5 Jesus said he didn’t come to abolish the Torah but to fulfill. He takes the central morals of the Torah to a higher level. In Matthew 15 he says that all sexual acts committed outside of marriage defile a human being, and in Matthew 19 He says marriage as God intended is the union of one man and one woman for life. Look, Jesus did not address wife-beating or heroin-shooting, but we don’t use that argument of silence .... We should love our neighbor as ourself, but that doesn’t mean that we approve of everything of our neighbor."...

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Assorted

Life in bloom: The gift of flowers

“Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.” - Luke 12:27 When God created the first humans, He placed them in a garden. So it’s natural enough that, since then, people have not only cultivated plants for practical reasons (food, medicine, clothing), but have delighted in the beauty of plants and flowers. Our love of flowers seems to be built into our DNA. In a sense, a garden is our natural habitat. I was reading an article recently about all the ways flowers are good for us (which include lowering stress, improving mood, and boosting memory and concentration). The article quoted from a 2005 Rutgers University study that investigated why exactly humans have the seemingly innate positive relationship with flowers that they do – which is, after all, hard to explain from an evolutionary perspective. I was struck by how the researchers (with their evolutionary assumptions) seemed baffled as they summarized their findings: “For more than 5000 years, people have cultivated flowers although there is no known reward for this costly behavior.... There is little existing theory in any discipline that explains the findings. We suggest that cultivated flowers are rewarding because they have evolved to rapidly induce positive emotions in humans...” But what baffles evolutionists simply delights Christians, teaching us about our Creator. Surely our love for flowers points us to a God who made the world more extravagantly beautiful than it had to be, a God Who takes pleasure in His creation and invites His image-bearers to do the same. Surely flowers are one of His good gifts to humanity – a gift with many different facets. Flowers are good for us Flowers do more than bring us passing joy; their impact can go much deeper, offering benefits in a variety of ways. Mental, emotional, and physical benefits As the Rutgers study, among others, found, flowers are good for people – mentally, emotionally, and even physically. The positive response of humans to flowers seems to be universal, crossing age and gender lines, and going beyond cultural associations with flowers (for example, the idea of flowers as gifts representing affection or gratitude). As the Rutgers study summarized it, “The presence of flowers triggers happy emotions, heightens feelings of life satisfaction and affects social behavior in a positive manner far beyond what is normally believed.” Exposure to nature in general, and to flowers in particular, can contribute to many health benefits. Even the simple presence of a vase of flowers has been shown to reduce stress and increase wellbeing in studies of college-age women, male office workers, and hospital patients. Other research in multiple settings has shown that the activity of flower arranging can lower blood pressure and heart rate, and decrease stress, in participants (including the elderly and those struggling with mental health issues). Theresa Brouwer and Christine VanEerde, sisters who own a flower shop in Fergus, Ontario (and who happen to be my cousins), wouldn’t be surprised by the results of these studies. “Being in the floral industry can be quite therapeutic,” they told me. “We get to be creative and expressive using God’s creation. To be busy with one’s hands, creating floral designs, is a great way to spend one’s day.” The sisters agreed that flowers generally bring a lot of joy to their customers as well. “People typically leave the shop with flowers in hand and a smile on their face. Flowers tend to bring joy all around – whether it be the joy of giving them, or receiving them. To be able to assist others in ‘making their day’ is quite rewarding." John and Margaret Helder at Muttart Conservatory, where John served as director for many years. Horticultural therapy John Helder is a horticulturalist with many years' experiences working as both the long-serving director of Edmonton’s Muttart Conservatory and greenhouses, and as the city’s Principal of Horticulture. He and his wife, Margaret, a botanist, appreciate flowers both personally and professionally. Their beautifully planted front and back yards bring smiles to the faces of many passersby; and John has seen first-hand the far-reaching benefits of flowers in his work. “At Muttart , opportunity is provided for people to be exposed to and enjoy the beauty of plants of God’s creation. Many people come to relax and to be spiritually or emotionally refreshed in such a beautiful, calm setting.” His work with the city of Edmonton also involved working with plants for social improvement. “As Edmonton’s Principal of Horticulture, I worked with community beautification, school plantings, community gardens. Some projects were with various social agencies whose clients were helped through their volunteering in horticulture (planting and caring for floral beds) and using their activities for horticultural therapy.” “Horticultural therapy” was a new term for me, and I was fascinated to learn more about it. This type of therapy is generally designed for people with physical limitations, mental illness, or other particular challenges. Working with plants can stimulate, engage, and bring joy and satisfaction, as well as give opportunities for beneficial socialization. John described his work in helping establish community gardens and community planters in several low-income, troubled areas of the city. Over time he witnessed both personal and social growth for those who participated. Residents began to take pride in their neighborhood, interact more, and even support each other more (in one case by developing a cooperative babysitting service) as they built relationships and trust while working together. Community gardening was a catalyst with many ripple effects, providing “a non-threatening environment start to interact, socialize and counter their loneliness and grow as people.” John also told me about a member of his church who lives at a seniors’ home which started making planters available for residents’ use. “A number of people now gather at the planters and chat, interact and enjoy the growing or just observing and enjoying each other’s company.” Horticultural therapy can be a structured, formal activity; but everyone can benefit from growing or simply appreciating natural beauty. “In my mind, gardening, working with plants and soil, is enjoyable, and people should be exposed to horticulture from an early age to learn to appreciate flowers, plants, nature and beauty,” John concluded. He added, “This also goes for music, the arts, literature, culinary arts, and in whatever other ways we can stimulate our senses and our talents, enjoy life and God’s gifts, and through our interests serve and share with others. As per Philippians 4:8: ‘Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.’” Flowers teach us Like all of the “book” of creation, flowers teach us about their wise and creative Designer. And we can learn other things from them as well. Lessons from God’s Word In the Bible, flowers are sometimes used as a metaphor to remind us of the brevity of life. As David soberingly put it, “As for man, his days are like grass; he flourishes like a flower of the field; for the wind passes over it, and it is gone, and its place knows it no more” (Ps. 103:15,16). Flowers remind us to “number our days, that we may get a heart of wisdom,” as Moses expressed it (Ps. 90:12). Flower imagery in the Bible also gives us a vivid picture of the blessings God will pour out on His people: “I will be like the dew to Israel; he shall blossom like the lily; he shall take root like the trees of Lebanon; his shoots shall spread out.... they shall blossom like the vine” (Hosea 14:5-7). In Isaiah 58, when God promises restoration to His repentant people, He tells them, “you shall be like a watered garden” (Is. 58:11). In Isaiah 35:1, the result of the coming of the Messiah is described as the bursting into bloom of a dry and lifeless land: “The wilderness and the dry land shall be glad; the desert shall rejoice and blossom like the crocus; it shall blossom abundantly and rejoice with joy and singing.” These types of word pictures sink into our minds and hearts in a way that more dry, abstract teaching may not. “Working and walking in my garden... reminds me of God’s goodness, blessings, and grace,” says Gina. Learning experientially Working with flowers can also teach us lessons, and help us experience truths, that we wouldn’t as easily learn in a less tangible way. For myself, my (very small-scale) flower-growing is always a hopeful but also a humbling endeavor. So many variables are outside my control, and the final results are usually not quite what I’d pictured. When I do end up with vases full of vibrant flowers, I know I can’t really take any credit. The flowers from my garden – like so many of the good things in my life – truly are a gift. Gina is one of the women in my church who enjoys growing and sharing flowers on a somewhat larger scale. She shared how working in her garden is a powerful reminder that she has a choice every day whether to focus on all the weeds – the difficulties and discouragements of life – or on the flowers, the beautiful blessings in the middle of the messiness. “Working and walking in my garden full of flowers reminds me of God’s goodness, blessings, and grace,” Gina told me. “Just like life, my garden is chaotic, often a mess full of weeds. I can’t control the weeds or stop them from coming – they keep popping up – but in the midst of this messy garden I can see little patches of beautiful flowers growing. “I will need to deal with the weeds and mess on a daily basis. Sometimes it can be discouraging or overwhelming to keep going. So it’s the flowers in front of me I choose to focus on – like beautiful rays of sunshine of God’s grace and goodness.” Theresa and Christina, co-owners of Grand Floral, love helping their customers “say it with flowers.” Flowers communicate & express “Say it with flowers” is the slogan of Grand Floral (the Fergus, Ontario flower shop), and it captures this key communicative aspect of flowers. As co-owners Theresa and Christine explain: “There are so many things you can express to others by giving flowers…. Gratitude, love, thankfulness and celebration to what may already be a joyous occasion. Expressions of sympathy or simply ‘thinking of you’ to lift someone’s spirits on a difficult day. “Being able to help our customers convey this message to others is often a joyful task – either in meeting their needs or supporting them through any of these occasions. It is often through the difficult times (grief, loss) that we have the opportunity to provide a word of encouragement and support.” Expressing joy and gratitude Flowers have meanings, or can evoke emotions, which make them a beautiful way to express things like joy and thankfulness – also in the context of worship. Both the Old Testament tabernacle and temple included floral designs, and flowers can add a note of joy and vibrancy in our own churches as well. My church has enjoyed beautiful bouquets and arrangements at the front for many years. Mrs. Lenie Noort provided these for well over a decade. “Going to church should be a joyful thing,” she told me, explaining that it’s natural to express that joy with the beauty of flowers. “I loved using the flowers God created to make His house beautiful.” Kim sees her flower arrangements as a way to express and share gratitude and thanksgiving. Several years ago, Kim Kieneker took over providing flowers for our church. Kim, who comes from a family of flower growers and arrangers, loves all things green and colorful; she’s always had a perennial garden as well as a vegetable garden, and enjoys growing as well as foraging for beautiful flowers and plants, and then using them in creative ways. “I love the soil,” she told me. “I enjoy beautiful and created things, I enjoy creating with them.” As she described how she goes about putting together arrangements for the church, and her thoughts during the process, the words “thanks” and “thankfulness” came up often. Kim sees her work as a beautiful way to express, share, and inspire gratitude and thanksgiving in the congregation, giving glory to God for His bounty and blessings. “God gives us so much natural beauty around us,” she commented; “it’d be shame not to give a thank offering of it to Him.” Kim often subtly integrates meaning into her arrangements. She likes researching the meanings of particular flowers, and also thinking about the church season and significant occasions or celebrations in the congregation. She finds it interesting how different people often see different things in her arrangements, and she loves giving people something to reflect on. For example, in her arrangement for Good Friday last year, she made use of palms (looking back to Palm Sunday), thorns (representing the crown of thorns, “but pulled apart to recognize that Jesus no longer wears the crown of thorns”), white lilies (which are often association with Christ’s resurrection), and yellow forsythia (which evoke hope, joy, anticipation, and the coming of spring and new life). Even if we don’t consciously make all these connections, we as members of the congregation often experience an emotional response and are given something to ponder. More simply, some Sundays Kim just enjoys providing “seasonal bouquets from nature” – many of which she gives away to church members at the end of the day. She loves foraging for plants and flowers, wherever she happens to be – “I always keep a pair of rubber boots and a pruner in my vehicle” – and delights in creating from what she finds. Kim is drawn to asymmetrical designs and interesting shapes, finding beauty in the natural “quirkiness” of nature, rather than aiming for stiff, static perfection in her arrangements. Often the results are a bit unexpected or whimsical; I loved the flowers arranged inside a pumpkin last fall, and the blueberries peeking out of a bouquet early last summer when they were in season. “Sometimes it’s hard to find a way to use your talents and passions in a special way to serve in the church,” Kim commented. In her case, providing weekly flowers has been a beautiful and rewarding way for her to do just that. Flowers connect us Finally, flowers can connect us – with our roots, our families, and with our neighbors – sometimes in wonderful and unexpected ways, Connecting the generations My parents grew (and still grow) big, beautiful dahlias, while my father-in-law introduced me to colorful, sturdy zinnias. Both flowers have become standbys for me, and I enjoy how they remind me of people I love. And, although I’m several generations away from the Netherlands, I have a soft spot for tulips and like seeing these bright little reminders of generations of flower lovers before me. Similar experiences were shared by many people I talked to. As Theresa Brouwer remembered, “My Oma always had windows full of plants, and took such good care of her gardens. I spent a lot of time there and must’ve picked up on her love for ‘everything nice.’” Her sister Christine VanEerde felt the same way. Even before working with flowers at Grand Floral, she always had a love for them; “Often you could find fresh cuts on my table after a grocery run.” Mrs. Lenie Noort also reminisced about her flower-growing family when we talked. She says she inherited her love of flowers from her mother: “After the house was cleaned up, then the flowers went on the table. A table without flowers was nothing.” Gina has also found flowers to be a wonderful way to connect the generations. Her young granddaughters enjoy working in her garden with her, and Gina has especially loved helping them pick and prepare flowers as gifts for other family members. Gina described the rewarding feeling of “seeing the joy in whole being when she picked, arranged, and wrapped up a bouquet to give to her great-grandmother. I realize I am passing on the joy of giving. The anticipation of thoughtful giving by choosing the flowers from the garden, arranging them into a bouquet, wrapping them up and seeing the smile of the person receiving your hand-picked gift – it’s worth more than words can describe.” Henk and his daughter Shelley planting dozens of their yearly baskets together. In Henk and Ginny Vanderhorst’s family, planting baskets together in spring has been an all-day father-daughter tradition for twenty-five years now (although, with one of the two daughters having moved away from Langley, BC, where her parents and older sister still live, the tradition has changed over the years). The sons of the family don’t participate, and Ginny understands that, although she is politely welcome to bring coffee, it’s “dad and daughter” time. Preparations begin several weeks ahead of time, as the three visit favorite nurseries and select a variety of plants and flowers, which they’ll later share and exchange with each other. Back at the parental home on the designated planting day, the three use the back of Henk’s truck as their work surface, putting together countless planters and baskets – enough for all their homes, and often a few to give away. The running joke is that, while shopping for their plants, they “didn’t go over budget” – mainly because they didn’t have one. Some things are priceless. The Helders’ frame-worthy front yard, which features a diversity of ground cover, flowers, and shrubs, gets a lot of attention. Connecting with our neighbors The beauty of flowers and plants can also connect us to neighbors and even strangers around us. John and Margaret Helder have found that their beautifully planted (and unfenced) property has become a draw for acquaintances and passersby alike. At first, this “sharing” of their yard and garden was unintentional; “we never thought of fencing our yard because I (a cheap Dutchman) thought a fence to be an unnecessary expenditure,” John told me with a smile. As well, the couple liked having an open play area for their children (and a small collection of outdoor pet rabbits, pigeons, and a chicken), connected to the municipal grassed walkway and treed berm behind their property. “As the grassway became more popular for residents, our menagerie became a popular destination for the neighborhood: little children with parents, as well as school and child-care groups,” John explained. Over time, as their yard matured and the Helders made various changes and additions, including adding an experimental rain garden, “people continued to stop by.” A number of years ago, as part of a more dramatic makeover, they replaced all the grass in their front yard with “a wild diversity of ground cover, flowers and shrubs.” Especially in the spring, when all the front bulbs were blossoming, “we got a lot of attention,” John told me. Eventually the Helders started “sharing” their property in more deliberate, organized ways: “Along with the general public, school and summer camp groups stop by and learn about plants, composting, our rain garden, etc. We have invited specific groups to our garden as well” – including sending out an impromptu invitation to their congregation for a “yard open house” this past summer. “Many people enjoy our property and chat with us about our garden,” John concluded. “The conversations lead to a wide diversity of topics well beyond flowers and plants.” Connecting in Covid A unique example of connecting with the community through flowers took place in southern Ontario in the spring of 2020, during the first of the Covid lockdowns. During the “Covid spring” of 2020, the Ravensbergens’ full greenhouses (shown here this past February) called for creative solutions. Many wholesale florists, including P. Ravensbergen & Sons in Smithville, Ontario, found themselves with greenhouses full of flowering plants – hydrangeas, begonias, chrysanthemums – that were no longer needed by many of their regular buyers. Although Ravensbergen was already regularly donating surplus flowers to charitable organizations such as the Grimsby Benevolent Fund, Habitat for Humanity and others (as they still do today), the sheer volume of “extra” plants called for creative solutions. Staff searched for new and creative ways to sell and donate the plants. “We sold some from trucks by the side of the road,” said general manager William Ravensbergen, “and donated some to seniors’ homes and senior living neighborhoods in the area.” Help was received from a local business that wished to help scale up the distribution from the immediate West Lincoln area to create a larger impact. This involved reaching out to many local Reformed churches with an offer to sponsor flower distributions in the churches’ communities, if groups such as home mission and outreach committees were interested in organizing these activities. The response was positive – both from many churches, and from neighbors who eventually received the cheerful blooms, along with messages of support and encouragement, during that difficult and isolating spring season. Countless plants were delivered door to door or, to avoid physical contact, left on porches, and the gesture clearly made an impact. “We received literally hundreds of thank-you cards from those who got flowers,” William told me. I spoke to one young woman who had been part of the “flower drop” around Dunnville, Ontario. She described how her young people’s group knocked on doors around town, delivering the flowers along with encouraging notes and invitations to their church’s live-streamed services. She remembers it as a very positive experience; “you never got tired of seeing people’s reactions to the flowers.” One older woman broke down and cried when she received her flowers, explaining that she hadn’t had contact with anyone for days. The young woman who had brought them was struck by the older woman’s utter loneliness, and decided to maintain contact. The two of them continue to visit regularly to this day. Although the older woman has hesitated to accept her new friend’s invitation to church, she says she sees God’s hand in making their paths cross. Another friendly church family has recently moved in down the street, and the woman has also expressed that she now feels so much less lonely – surrounded by caring community. And sometimes during a visit the older woman will smile and say, “It all started with flowers, eh?” “O LORD, how manifold are your works! In wisdom have you made them all...” – Ps. 104:24...

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News

Saturday Selections – Mar. 1, 2025

Why we can't focus (12 min) This fellow is worried that moving from a text-based culture to a video-based one is leaving us all stupider – "we are amusing ourselves to death." He's not trying to make a Christian point, but as "people of the Word," we know there is a pressing need for us to not only be able to read, but be able to concentrate on a passage long enough to understand it. Tariffs – an entrepreneur’s perspective What should you do when your neighbor gives you lemons? Christian businessman (and CHPer) Dave Bylsma encourages us to start thinking lemonade – explore the opportunities, rather than fixate on a problem that we really can't do anything about. The biblical basis for such an opportunity-mindset is the assurance "that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose" (Romans 8:28). We didn't seek this hardship, but God is acting on us, and could be acting through us if we rise to this challenge. "The harm is staggering..." Jonathan Haidt on how smartphones and social media are fuelling the youth mental health crisis. He shares their four harms. Could this be the year’s most ridiculous idea about how life originated? Life may have started in space? They found some amino acids on the Bennu asteroid (at a cost of nearly $1 billion) so, the speculation has begun. Count the could haves and other fudge words in the paragraph below and ask yourself, if the prospect is so unlikely, why is this even getting covered? Well, because this level of rampant speculation is among the best prospects they have... "If a vast swarm of briny little worlds produced biological precursors, it could have mixed them together as they crashed into one another. The heat of the impacts could have fueled more chemistry, giving rise to even more complex molecules in their interiors, and perhaps even living cells. 'Could life have started there?' Dr. Rennó asked. 'I’m open to it. I like crazy ideas.'” Resisting gender ideology indoctrination in Canada’s public schools "Imagine that a religious cult had mysteriously swayed Canada’s schools to teach children that they are spirit-beings trapped in their physical bodies as some kind of curse. Imagine further that special staff were dedicated to ensuring schools were 'safe spaces' for kids to discover their true spirit-selves. Imagine special 'student clubs' to guide students in this self-discovery, with help from zealous adult believers from outside the school. Imagine students adopting new cultic names for themselves at school, which everyone else was required to use. And imagine at last schools keeping their kids’ new cultic identities secret from parents because 'children don’t need parents’ permission to be who they are,' to paraphrase Justin Trudeau. "I think Canadians would be appalled at this. And many would intuit that there was something legally suspect about it. But swap in 'gender identity' and this is what’s happening in Canada. A quasi-religious gender ideology is permeating our public schools, and most Canadian families have no opt-out..." Voddie Baucham's thoughts on voting as a Christian He's speaking in the context of the US, but there is crossover... ...

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Being the Church

Aged saints can tell you what your peers don’t know or won’t say

In late 1785, the 26-year-old British Member of Parliament William Wilberforce secretly met with 61-year-old John Newton. Wilberforce had very recently encountered the grace of Christ. Deeply convicted about his squandered youth and self-serving ambition, the young MP seriously considered resigning from Parliament to enter the ministry. Uneasy of mind, he visited Newton – the slave-trader-turned-clergyman – under cover of darkness. Newton encouraged Wilberforce to remain in Parliament and continue his parliamentary career as a Christian. Newton would later tell Wilberforce, “It is hoped and believed that the Lord has raised you up for the good of His Church and for the good of the nation.” Following the meeting, Wilberforce stated that “when I came away I found my mind in a calm, tranquil state, more humbled, and looking more devoutly up to God.” Two years later, Wilberforce would boldly declare that: “God Almighty has set before me two great objects, the suppression of the slave trade and the reformation of manners.” Newton’s prescient advice to his younger brother in the faith shows us what it looks like to live out the biblical mandate for older Christians to mentor younger Christians. The much older Newton had turned to Christ three decades earlier and had much more experience in the Christian life than his newly saved counterpart. In consistency with the example of Scripture, he used his hard-earned wisdom to guide a young believer in need of direction. We need Newton, not Tate Sadly, our age has undermined the mentorship role of the elderly. Popular culture idolizes youthful attractiveness and athletic achievement over the wisdom gained in old age. Worse, the world portrays the outward decay of the elderly as an imposition on those who are still enjoying the fleeting pleasures of youth. As a result, care for the elderly is kept away from the family and offshored to a professional class. This is poignantly exhibited in the rise of euthanasia, now Canada’s 4th leading cause of death. If true life consists in beauty, youth, and health, then life itself must be ended once these qualities have disappeared. However, as with all other attempts to reorder God’s creative design, the removal of the elderly from societal influence has produced dire consequences – an emerging generation whose primary influences are their own peers rather than seasoned mentors. Popular online influencers, such as Andrew Tate, have filled the mentorship gap among young men with a false and sinful masculinity. Speaking to Tate’s growing influence, John Stonestreet writes, “young men, when left to be taught by assertive online influencers eager to avoid the feminist ditch, can be driven straight into the pimp ditch. They must instead be taught through real relationships with fathers, pastors, friends, and mentors who are willing to live out all that is distinctive about God’s design for men.” This problem is not unique to young men – social media is dominated by celebrations of a false femininity that devalues the dignity of godly womanhood and instead encourages young women to pursue licentiousness. Called to speak For the Christian, however, gray hair is not the gutting sign of approaching death, but the hard-won crown of a life spent in service to God (Prov. 16:31). With Heaven as the horizon, there is deep value in a life well-lived – the lessons from which may be shared with those who are young. In this way, the Apostle Paul instructs his own younger disciple in the faith, Titus, about the relationship between older Christians and younger Christians (Titus 2:2-5): “Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness. Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.” The priority of mentorship between old Christians and young Christians is clear. Just as the eye cannot say to the foot “I have no need of you,” so also the young Christian cannot say to the old Christian “I have no need of you.” Rehoboam foolishly listened to the council of his childhood friends rather than the mature instructions of his father’s advisors. We too are susceptible to surrounding ourselves with similarly aged peers who affirm our decisions and never rebuke our errors. But godly young people require godly, aged mentors who are committed to speaking directly and truthfully. Wisdom earned in old age provides the mature Christian with the hard-earned right to speak difficult truths that may not as readily flow from the lips of a young Christian’s peers. The willing reception of this gift, however, is only one part of the equation. The gift must also be offered, which requires diligent instruction on the part of the aged and a refusal to listen to a culture which tells those in their final stage of life to hide away until death comes. Wise, aging Christians have been called to deliver godly exhortations to young believers. With such exhortations, mature believers are paving the way for a new generation of the Christian church and the never-ending proclamation of Christ’s glory. Gray hair truly is a far more noble crown than the fleeting bravado of youth. Keeping the fire flickering After nine years of laboring against the slave trade with very little success, a wearied, 36-year-old William Wilberforce wrote his old friend John Newton and questioned whether he could continue the fight. The now 71-year-old Newton replied: “It is true, that you live in the midst of difficulties and snares, and you need a double guard of watchfulness and prayer. But since you know both your need of help and where to look for it, I may say to you, as Darius to Daniel, Thy God whom Thou servest continually is able to preserve and deliver you.” Wilberforce did not quit and, on March 25, 1807 – some dozen years after Wilberforce’s disheartened letter to Newton – Parliament voted to abolish the slave trade throughout the British Empire. A society that scorns the exhortations of aging and faithful men is a society where young men such as William Wilberforce flicker out in discouragement. But, thankfully, God delights in using aging Christians to encourage young Christians in the faith. Godly old men and women must not relinquish that duty, and young men and women must not despise these lessons. In this way, aging Christian believers can fulfill their integral role in the victorious history of Christ’s Church....

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Theology

A serious problem 

God’s people should be confidently playful ***** As a mental health therapist, I once attended a workshop on developing and maintaining healthy attachments between parents and their children. The presenter’s information was given in a PowerPoint, and I found that I could put a Bible text to every one of his slides. At one point the speaker went as far as saying “if you want to read a great example of a healthy attachment, then read the book of Job.” Because of this workshop I came to the realization that the more a therapeutic modality is in line with biblical teaching, the more accurate and effective the therapy is. As I developed more in this field, I noticed how important play is as it relates to one’s mental health. That then got me toying with how play must connect with what the Bible teaches us about ourselves. And sure enough, when I started looking, I began seeing evidence of play and humor in the Bible, as well as in the character of God Himself. This further affirmed my initial thoughts on play and mental health and how playfulness is beneficial to Christians. Play defined But what do we mean when we talk about “play”? It’s volleyball games and soccer, but more than that too. It’s an attitude too – we can be playful in how we talk, move, and think. Play can be serious and intense – you can play hard! But it’s always about fun – getting to and not having to – and creativity, and just being in the moment. This last point is a big one: play is about the means more than the end. We play hockey for the joy of playing, and winning is awesome, but secondary. Or it isn’t really play anymore. Play in the Bible “Seriousness is not a virtue. It would be a heresy, but a much more sensible heresy, to say that seriousness is a vice. It is really a natural trend or lapse into taking one's self gravely, because it is the easiest thing to do. It is much easier to write a good Times leading article than a good joke in Punch. For solemnity flows out of men naturally; but laughter is a leap. It is easy to be heavy: hard to be light. Satan fell by the force of gravity.” – G.K. Chesterton I chose the title for this article because it is a play on words. It could be interpreted that there is a problem that needs to be taken seriously, and in our current times there are many things we are told are serious problems. After all, we are only a few years away from climate change killing everything on the planet, or, at least, if World War III doesn’t do us in first. Or might four more years of the Trump presidency be worse than both these scenarios combined? Another way of understanding this title is that there is a problem with being too serious. This understanding would suggest that even if the three threats to humanity just listed all somehow simultaneously occurred, that this still wouldn’t be too serious a situation to joke about. (I just knew an epic string of disasters like this would happen if I took some time off work!) In truth many a problem isn’t so serious, but rather being serious is the problem. Word plays like this are found throughout the original language of the Bible. One website suggests that in the Old Testament alone there are over 500 plays on words. The problem is that most of them are literally lost in translation. One example found in the New Testament is when Jesus tells Peter that “on this rock I will build my church” but even there the parenthetic adage that the name Peter means rock is required for it to make sense to us… otherwise it could be used to justify the concept of a Pope. It could also be argued that the Feast of Tents is mandated play. Every family was told to build a shelter out of sticks and branches to live in for 5 days. For me this sounds like so much fun. I can see kids counting down the days until this celebration, dads competing for the biggest or best designed tent, their children scavenging for branches and sticks and that perfect piece to make a door out of. It reminds me of making a mattress fort for my children (if there are any fathers looking to outdo me, my longest mattress fort was 38 feet long). The creation of music and lyrics is a form of play – that’s why when someone strums a guitar, we say they are playing the guitar. It’s the same with any instrument: we play them all. And when we look at the largest book in the Bible, we find it is dedicated to playing instruments. Also music-related, David was commended for playing when he danced as the ark was brought into Jerusalem and his wife punished for taking it too seriously (2 Sam. 6:14-23). The best evidence of God and play in the Bible is, in my opinion, seen in the way Jesus often responded to questions from the Pharisees. They would come to him with a very pointed question and, instead of getting a somber concise response that was backed with biblical texts, they got a story. It is also worth noting that when Jesus said, “Unless you repent from your sins and become like one of these you will never enter the Kingdom of Heaven” (Matt. 18:3), He was talking about humble, playful children and not the stoic, serious Pharisees. God and play “The true object of all human life is play. Earth is a task garden; heaven is a playground.” – G.K. Chesterton Being created in God’s image means that we reflect the emotions and characteristics of our Creator, but because of our fall into sin we have corrupted these features. So, for example, God’s jealousy is holy and righteous (Ex. 20:5), whereas it is hard for us to think of a time or scenario where our feelings of jealousy were not sinful. But we can think of times in which we have played in delight and been the better reflection of God for doings so. Now if we, as the image-bearers of God, show our better nature when we are playful, then isn’t it reasonable to conclude that play may be in the Being of God too? To compound the point, play is found not just in humans but is also witnessed in the animal kingdom, and might that be because God reveals Himself in nature too? Not only is play seen throughout creation, the act of creating is, in itself, a form of play. Our hobbies often involve creating something or piecing something back together. Woodworking, drawing, painting, knitting, puzzling, writing, quilting . . . all start with a blank canvas and raw material. When what is being created is done for its own sake, and isn’t created for profit or by necessity, that creation is a form of play. If enjoyment is the primary reason for the activity and the secondary reason is profit or necessity it is still play. Since we are created in God’s image it seems fair to suggest that the feelings we have in creating things reflects Him and His pleasure. This can also be seen in Revelation 4:11: “For You created all things, and they exist because You created what You pleased.” Humor “Humor is the great thing, the saving thing after all. The minute it crops up, all our hardnesses yield, all our irritations, and resentments flit away, and a sunny spirit takes their place.” – Mark Twain Another form of play – humor – goes hand in hand with truth. In 1 Kings 18:20-40 we read about how Elijah knew who the living and true God is. He was certain that the altar made to Baal would not catch on fire and he was equally certain that the one made to honor God would. And because he knew these things to be true, he could make fun of the Baal prophets and priests. The religious leaders of Baal were holding on to a lie and seriously thought that if they cut themselves and did every other act of worship that their lie would become true. We also have the truth with us. If the point of view you are defending crumbles at a joke, then it is not true. Those that believe a lie often take their point of view extremely seriously. They talk over people, attack their character, call them names and do anything they can to silence their opposition. We see this in the Bible when the Lord’s prophets were killed, and when Jesus was crucified. The Bible tells us that “male and female, He created them” (Gen. 1:27). The many who believe otherwise can’t defend their point of view, so they try to shut down debate with name-calling, labeling as transphobic any who challenge them. When the satiric website Babylon Bee jokingly gave their “Man of the Year” award to the guy-in-a dress Joe Biden appointed as Assistant Secretary for Health, Twitter kicked the Bee off of their platform – they couldn’t deal with the joke. But like Elijah, Christians can embrace the truth and can in confidence make fun of the lies. The importance of play “Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.” – Clive James “Humor can get in under the door while seriousness is still fumbling at the handle.” – G.K. Chesterton One great benefit of play is how it can relieve anxiety, by pulling us fully into the present. So, it probably shouldn’t surprise us, there are a number of Bible texts that encourage us to be fully in the moment: “Be still and know that I am God.” Ps. 46:10 “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.” Matt. 6:34 “Do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink, or your body, what you will wear.” Matt. 6:24 “Give us each day the food we need.” Luke 11:3 There are many activities that we can do and be fully in the moment, but most of them also allow for focus on the past or future. Grief is an example of this – you can grieve the loss of a loved one while being fully in the moment; but you can also grieve that loss while thinking about things you could have done while they were still alive, or while thinking about how this loss will impact your family in the future. (It is not wrong to have these thoughts while grieving; I am just pointing out how grieving can be done while thinking of the past or future). Psalm 137 illustrates this in verses 1 and 2 where it says: “Beside the rivers of Babylon, we sat and wept as we thought of Jerusalem. We put away our harps, hanging them on the branches of poplar trees.” This focus on the past prevented them from playing the harp. The reason anxiety focuses on the past, and on the future, is our desire for control. We want to look back, to supposedly ensure we don’t make any of our alleged mistakes again. Our focus on the future is to consider all possible outcomes of an upcoming event so we can better prepare for it. But with anxiety, this line of thinking never ends with “and we lived happily ever after” – it ends with the worrier thinking they have cancer, or may become homeless.* In contrast, play is the only activity I know of that cannot be done while worrying about the past or future. This is because play is everything anxiety is not. Anxiety is neat and tidy. It partners with perfectionism to create a standard that is rarely achieved and never celebrated. Anxiety is regimented and time oriented, bound by rules, and it takes everything serious. But play is fluid, and not bound by time. Its rules act more like guidelines and there are exceptions to them. And perfecting a skill is a joyful journey, because play allows things to be “good enough.” In therapy I often will tell my anxious clients about this concept. Often, I will ask them, when was the last time they felt playful? I’ll then ask them, when was the last time that they could recall not being anxious? For most people it will be the same answer to both questions. The reason is, you cannot be anxious and playful at the same time. You will never see an anxious playful person. Hormones associated with stress are the same ones that trigger the fight, flight, or freeze response. In high levels of stress, blood flow is directed away from a part of the brain known as the prefrontal cortex. This is the part of the brain where most of our conscious thoughts are. This is also where most of our decision-making is done. This is a contributing factor to why anxious people have difficulties making a decision – the more anxious someone is the harder it becomes for them to think outside of the box. In contrast, there is a strong association between play and creativity. Einstein acknowledged this connection when he said creativity is just intelligence having fun. His theory of relativity was a result of Einstein playing with the thought of chasing a beam of light around a room. Some other known benefits of play are improvements in: problem-solving skills health, resiliency, and feelings of self-worth the ability to develop and maintain friendships the ability to overcome emotional wounds caused by trauma Serious people often have serious problems “A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It's jolted by every pebble on the road.” – Henry Ward Beecher One final point to consider is how, in the Bible we can find serious people whose piety is just a façade. Think of the Pharisees and Sadducees – they prayed long and loud in the synagogue and tithed ten percent of their herb garden (Luke 11: 42), but it was all show and no heart. Pride and covetousness blinded them from being genuinely godly. In their zealous “piety” they dared accuse the Son of God of blasphemy, and then murdered Him. Today we also have very serious people whose piety turns out to be a façade. I view their façade in the same way I do a transgender person’s over-the-top dress, makeup, and mannerisms. In both cases we have an outrageous exaggeration of the real thing. Conclusion God created a magnificent world with changing landscapes and terrain, and with vast bodies of water and rivers, which He filled with millions of different creatures. He then gave us playful hearts to explore His creation and to, with childlike wonderment, give Him praise and glory. God also created us in His image, and as image-bearers, there’s good reason to expect our playfulness is a reflection of a playful God. Is it any wonder then, that the best thing we can do for our spiritual, physical and mental health is play? So, for your and everyone’s sake, go out and play, seriously! ***** Endnote *I’lI note I do not subscribe to the belief that all anxiety is sin – there are several different reasons why people are anxious. See my letter to the editor in the Sept/Oct 2023 issue for my thoughts on this....

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Dating

A creative approach to boundaries in dating

Signing on the dotted line? (Gal. 5:16-25) ***** Several weeks ago, my fiancé and I sat down at a local restaurant with my aunt and uncle, where we enjoyed a good meal and a great conversation. That conversation, however, did not start in the most conventional way. “Well, I’m looking forward to this free food,” said Nathan, my fiancé. “You’ve earned it,” my uncle replied with a grin. We had successfully completed our contract a few months prior, and were finally sitting down to the promised reward of a dinner out, paid for by my aunt and uncle. The contract had been written up by my uncle, signed by myself, and witnessed by a friend – all back on June 29, 2022. This makes it sound very official, but in truth it was spontaneously scrawled down on a loose piece of paper, borne of a somewhat harebrained conversation and spur-of-the-moment decision. Let me explain. A few years earlier I’d been in an unhealthy dating relationship. Despite the brief time frame, the physical side of the relationship had quickly escalated. Nothing about my actions had been God-honoring. I had been naive and impulsive and foolish, and it cost me much heartache. In the days that followed, I had many conversations with my parents, close friends, and various other family members; they collectively blessed me with wisdom, listening ears, and reminders of God’s grace and the sovereignty of His plans. I had repented, and knew I was forgiven, but with lingering hurt and shame I was struggling to move forward. I wanted to express that repentance in steps taken, but I didn’t know what that could look like. One night while visiting, my uncle suggested I take what I’d learned and apply it to the future – that I learn from my mistakes, and do my utmost not to repeat them. “Easier said than done,” I grumbled. That’s when he got a strange glint in his eye. Doing things different What followed was humorous, bizarre, and one of the best things I’ve ever been involved in. We sat down and wrote up a rough draft, with my uncle setting the terms. The contract stated that I would “not kiss a man for at least 2 months after the start of a relationship.” It also stated that, upon successful completion of the contract, my aunt and uncle would treat me and my significant other to dinner at the restaurant of our choice. I signed, my uncle signed, and a friend who was present signed as a witness. I recognize that the specifics of this contract may not be for everyone. Some people may think the terms restrictive, while others may think they are not cautious enough. But what I want to draw your attention to, rather than the details, is the overarching purpose: seeking accountability which seeks to serve the Lord (1 Thess. 5:11-13). Four reasons to sign on the dotted line A couple years passed, and I met Nathan. After a few months of long-distance dating, we decided I would travel to Alberta to spend the summer in his hometown and see if the relationship had a solid future. Dating in-person would be different. It was time to tell him about the contract. I hadn’t signed it as a joke – my commitment was sincere – but it had been easy to imagine becoming complacent down the road if I found myself again in a romantic situation. Nathan took the news very well. Yes, he made a joke about it (“Free food if we pull this off? Sweet!”), but he recognized the value in it. We both saw wisdom in it, for multiple reasons. First, it would hold us accountable to another person. As the third party, my uncle was at liberty to ask how the contract was going – and while I can’t remember him doing so, the knowledge that he could was good motivation for us to stick to it. Occasionally, I texted over the summer to let my aunt and uncle know that things were going well. We did not want to let them down, or to let ourselves down by breaking the terms. Second, it would teach us a lot about each other. Is the person I am dating respectful of boundaries (1 Cor. 6:12-13)? Are they self-controlled (Prov. 25:28)? 1 Cor. 13:4-5 reads, “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist upon its own way; it is not irritable or resentful.” So does the person I am dating value long-term love over short-term thrills, or are they manipulating situations to get what they want? How much do they value sticking to a commitment (Col. 3:23-24)? Can I trust them to navigate the relationship in a manner that seeks to glorify God and show Christian love to me, rather than to gratify themselves (Phil. 2:1-4)? We learned the answers to these questions, and more. We built teamwork, both striving to support each other in keeping the contract rather than making it difficult for each other. Third, the contract helped us to focus on the emotional and spiritual aspects of our relationship, rather than the physical. We built a solid foundation of friendship, faith, and intellectual companionship, rather than a false foundation of hormones and desire (Phil. 4:8). Fourth, it was practice – practice for not giving in to stronger temptations further down the line in the relationship. Learning not to compromise each other in the “smaller things” has made it much easier to continue in the same way now; we learned to value each other’s well-being and holiness early on, and that has been extremely beneficial as we grow nearer to marriage and temptations become more serious. Plan to succeed (Prov. 21:5) We found a lot of value in having boundaries written down. There is something tangible about it, something more binding than a simple conversation. So, while still in the stage of “no kissing allowed,” Nathan and I sat down and wrote up a list of boundaries for once the contract was done. I consider this to be our “contract after the contract.” I highly recommend this to any young couple; it is always easier to keep a boundary in place if you establish it before, rather than trying to make boundaries after you’ve already crossed lines. And get detailed in your boundaries! If you’re too embarrassed to talk about it, then you certainly shouldn’t be doing it. Hard and fast rules are much easier to stick to than vague concepts. Don’t allow yourselves loopholes – in the heat of the moment, you will be sorely tempted to take advantage of them, and almost always will. Both Nathan and I asked a person outside our relationship to hold us accountable to our boundaries. This person is someone who can check in with us, ask how things are going, and is someone we can go to if a boundary has been crossed and counsel or prayer is needed. Find someone you can trust with this; you’d be surprised how many people are willing. Many people want to see you do well – and many will have perspectives to share about their own experiences and mistakes, which you can learn from. I’ve talked to quite a few people about this contract. While most see the benefit to it, there are a few who respond, “That doesn’t sound very romantic.” But here’s what truly isn’t romantic: Guilt. Regret. Selfishness. Carrying shame into a marriage together, or breaking up with someone you’ve gone too far with – which in turn affects your future marriage to somebody else. I’ve experienced it, and many of my friends have experienced it. Any of them would tell you how scarring and unromantic it can be. In contrast, I cannot think of something that has made me more attracted to my fiancé than the effects of these contracts and boundaries. Seeing his care and dedication, his respect for me, his self-control, his leadership in holding to commitments – seeing how he loves me, respects himself, and above all, strives to honor God in his conduct – it all has made my love for him grow exponentially. Help yourself… or your kids If you are newly dating, or if you have kids who are dating; consider writing up a contract. It may feel embarrassing… but I am not asking you to shout it from the rooftops! It can be kept as private as you wish, a simple sheet of paper that can be tucked away in a drawer somewhere. I was initially a bit embarrassed to tell Nathan about my contract, and now I speak of it with much appreciation and a desire to recommend it to others. Remember the purpose, and that sheet of paper may become a treasured thing to look back on years down the road. “Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God with your body.” – 1 Cor. 6:19-20...

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Adult non-fiction, Assorted, Book Reviews

Necessary Endings

Finding the courage to let go in business, church, and family ***** Why did my dad’s tomatoes and cucumbers always flourish? I used to think it may have something to do with the tobacco smoke from his pipe, which he puffed while tending to them. But the success carried on even when the days of the pipe ended. I got my answer some years ago when my dad checked out our greenhouse and noticed lanky cucumber bushes with little fruit. He showed me how to identify “suckers” and shoots that needed to be pinched off. For a new gardener, it seems strange, even shocking, to cut off healthy branches and flowers. But whether it is cucumbers, apple trees, or flowers, God designed many plants to produce more buds than they can sustain. Plants have limited energy, so without pruning, that energy goes towards growth that literally isn’t fruitful. I was looking for cucumbers, not huge cucumber plants without fruit. In other cases, sick branches or dead branches need to be removed, as they will hold back the plant or tree from flourishing. Contrary to popular thought, nature doesn’t do best when left alone. Through these plants, God is teaching us something about our own lives and the causes we invest in, including in business and the Church. We need deliberate pruning – we need to make endings happen. That is true for all stages of life, but especially as we feel the effects of age. Endings are necessary As much as we value beginnings and growth, God has made endings a natural and important aspect of life, even before the Fall into sin. There is day and night, and a season for planting, watering, harvesting, and cleaning up so that it can start over (Eccl. 3:1-2). Accepting endings, and making them happen at times, is the design that God wove in the very fabric of our lives. “In your business and perhaps your life, the tomorrow that you desire and envision may never come to pass if you do not end some things you are doing today.” That is how Christian psychologist and business coach Dr. Henry Cloud opened his book Necessary Endings. This book gave direction and encouragement when I had to make some hard endings a few years back. But the value of it keeps resurfacing as I notice how much we can struggle because we resist endings: • We hold onto possessions that have no more use to us; • Teens refuse to end their childhood, and continue doing little to help the family; • Young adults grow older but fail to launch, continuing to be cared for by their parents; • Seniors don’t deal with past hurts or ongoing sinful patterns because they have resigned themselves to who they are; • Spouses endure abuse because they think they have no choice. In some cases, endings seem to be even a bigger challenge for Christians: • Committees and societies continue longer than they should because the people involved are simply fulfilling their term, and don’t think it is their place to end something that others started; • Poor performance by people in positions of authority (pastors, elders, deacons, volunteers, school board members) can carry on perpetually because others feel that if they speak up, they will be seen as the problem, inviting unwanted conflict and stress into their lives; • A church member can take advantage of the kindness and care of their congregation year after year, without consequence; • Church leadership can struggle for years with following through on church discipline because of the desire that things will turn around. Dr. Cloud pulls no punches in response to scenarios like these. Endings are crucial and “your life and business must face them, stagnate, or die.” He explains that we prune our lives for the same reasons we prune plants. 1. “If an initiative is siphoning off resources that could go to something with more promise, it is pruned. 2. “If an endeavor is sick and is not going to get well, it is pruned. 3. “If it is clear that something is already dead, it is pruned.” Why aren’t we pruning? This is a proven formula for flourishing. So why do we sometimes have such a hard time doing it? An obvious reason is that endings often require confrontation and some pain. Cutting away an apple tree, or pulling flowers off a plant, doesn’t feel good. There are no immediate rewards. We convince ourselves that the status-quo is a better option than change. But the problem with this approach is that we are being led by our feelings rather than reality. It is wishful thinking. Dr. Cloud compares our reluctance to make necessary endings to getting an infected tooth pulled. It isn’t a pleasant experience. But it is so important to get done. “We all hurt sometimes in facing hard truths, but it makes us grow…. That is not harmful. Harm is when you damage someone. Facing reality is usually not a damaging experience, even though it can hurt.” Another reason why we may not be making necessary endings in our lives is because we don’t know what we are aiming for, or pruning towards. We are drifting with the current, reacting to whatever comes our way. This makes sense for our unbelieving world, which struggles to understand what it means to be a human being, man, woman, parent, or senior. The world isn’t interested in following God’s blueprint. It isn’t sure it even wants the cucumber plant to produce cucumbers. Unfortunately, it is also an issue for Christians, even though God gives very clear direction for our lives. We struggle with disciplining our children in response to behaviors that need to stop, even though the Bible makes it clear that God has entrusted parents with this task. We let teens have the responsibilities and expectations of children even though an entire Bible book was given to them to chart a path of responsible living (see Proverbs). And even church leadership can have a difficult time seeing through commands like 1 Corinthians 5:13 to “expel the wicked person from among you.” When we refuse to prune, not only are we making growth more difficult, we are also getting in the way of the beautiful plan that God has for our lives, the church, and society. Perhaps another reason why Christians may feel uncomfortable with this talk of pruning is that it seems to clash with our calling to love even our enemies, or to care for the vulnerable. As we read in Isaiah 42:3, the Lord sustains the weak: “A bruised reed He will not break and a smoldering wick He will not snuff out.” This is where we need to realize that the pruning metaphor has its limitations. The point of this article, and Dr. Cloud’s book, is not at all to cut away people who have weaknesses. Caring for the vulnerable is one of the goals we are pruning towards and aiming for. We are pruning away what hurts the vulnerable. For example, a church committee that has long passed its expiration date will continue draining the time of its members, and cut into their capacity to help those who really need help. And a person or family who is taking advantage of the care of others in the congregation because they keep asking for help (when they could be taking care of themselves) is preventing the congregation from caring for those who really need it. If all of this sounds like it is based on worldly motivations for productivity, it may help to remember that our Lord Jesus Christ spoke strongly about this: “I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful” (John 15:1-2). He was also willing to leave an area and move on. For example, in Mark 1 we read how Jesus went to a solitary place to pray. When his disciples came they said “Everyone is looking for you!” To this, Jesus replied “Let us go somewhere else – to the nearby villages – so I can preach there also. That is why I have come.” Proactive pruning I have written elsewhere how I learned the hard way (through burnout) that life produces too much to sustain. Unfortunately, I had to feel significant pain to pull the pruners out. The problem with waiting until something crosses a line is that it unnecessarily leads to lasting hurt for ourselves and others. My lack of pruning may have seemed to benefit my family (as I was fixing up our home and property) and employer in the short-term, as there was a lot of growth, but it ending up hurting them both. As we age, it is critical that we make pruning a normal and healthy practice of our day-to-day living. As with a cucumber plant or apple tree, this pruning should be done before there is obviously a problem. Proactive pruning also means that we have to let go of meaningful relationships that we once had, even though there is nothing wrong with them. Dr. Cloud points to brain research that shows we seem to have capacity to manage 140 to 150 relationships. As we grow older, our circle will grow quickly. Trying to juggle 300 relationships in a meaningful way is a recipe for doing a horrible job with all 300. So we will only be able to take on new ones if we are pruning old ones. Settling in a new community will mean having to let go of wonderful people from your old home that meant so much to you. Serving on the school board may mean having to give up that weekly visit you treasure so much. And yes, this also means that some people that we used to send a Christmas card to may no longer get it. It doesn’t mean that we no longer care for these people. Rather, it means we are investing in the relationships that God is calling us to in this time and place. Like a cucumber plant, we are directing the limited energy or “juice” we have to the fruit God wants to see. It also means pruning off parts of our lives that haven’t been fruitful, even if we really hoped they would be. A successful business like Starbucks will still regularly shut down hundreds of stores. Dr. Cloud notes that often “when that occurs, the stock prices go up.” That is because the business community understands that pruning isn’t a sign of weakness but of health and strength. The fact that a church plant isn’t growing to the point where it can sustain itself is a reason to consider working towards an ending, not to stop planting churches, but to try again somewhere better. More fertile ground may be waiting, but your next effort can’t start until the other has ended and sufficient resources are freed up. This is also why it was so important that Christian aid organizations have come to realize that simply giving more money, food, and supplies to people in need isn’t necessarily a blessing. In fact, it may be the very thing holding back people from making the changes necessary to succeed long-term. Sometimes the best way to help a person, family, or non-profit is to stop giving them what they are asking for. They won’t make necessary changes until you stop enabling them to carry on as they are. The wise, the foolish, and the evil Throughout his book, Dr. Cloud coaches the readers to figure out if endings are necessary and how to make them. He teaches the reader to get realistic, and even get hopeless if they expect change while carrying on the same way, so they’ll get motivated. But I found the most value in a chapter he devoted to figuring out how to discern whether the process of change is even worth it. For example, “how do you know when to invest the effort with someone to work on making things better and when should you tell them that you are done talking about it?” He does this by explaining that there are essentially only three categories when it comes to people’s character: the wise, the foolish, and the evil. Although his audience isn’t all Christian, he explains that these Scriptural categories are proven true in all fields of life, including business, psychology, and law. It is critical that we understand whether the person we are dealing with is wise, foolish, or evil, because it will determine the track we take and whether an ending is necessary. A wise person recognizes truth for what it is, takes it in, and adjusts themselves accordingly. When corrected, they listen and change their life. As a result, they improve every day again. They are motivated to change, and are willing to show genuine remorse when they need to. When dealing with a wise person, communication goes a long way. They are eager to be trained or coached. Talking helps. A fool doesn’t adjust to the truth. Rather, they adjust the truth so that they don’t have to change themselves. He or she isn’t the problem. Others are. They are defensive, they blame, and talking to them doesn’t help at all. Instead, it creates conflict and division. “At this point it is time to change the conversation from trying to get them to change to talking about the fact that no change is happening and that is the problem…. Roger, this team and the environment we want to have around here are important to me, so I can’t allow your abusive behavior to ruin it anymore.” Adding consequences is often required. “Dave, I want to live in a sober house, and since you have chosen to not do anything about your addiction, I won’t be living with you anymore until you get treatment and get sober.” The key with dealing with foolish people is to end the pattern. “You cannot control them or get them to change. What you can do is create an ending to the effects their refusal to take responsibility is having on you or others.” Although we would love to think otherwise, there are no shortage of fools in our lives. Apart from God’s grace and the working of His Holy Spirit, we are all fools. But we have been born again, and it is important that we act accordingly. Finally, there are evil people, who intentionally want to hurt you. An evil person is the “kind of person who likes to bring others down, is intentionally divisive, enjoys it when someone fails, and tries to create the downfall of others or of the company is to be protected against at all costs.” As Christians, we can be guilty of a living in a pretend world. We see numerous examples of evil people in the Bible, including among God’s covenant people (e.g., Old Testament Israel or the New Testament Church). But we act as if there are no evil people in our families, schools, or churches today, even when the evidence is clearly stacked against us. Untold pain has been caused by tolerating wicked abusers in our circles, simply because we foolishly assumed that if they came from another Reformed church, they must be trustworthy. Parents, elders, and school boards must have the courage to do whatever is necessary to protect God’s children from these wolves in sheep’s clothing (see Matt. 7, 1 Cor. 5). It's time for change Is God looking to you to make a necessary ending? Will you prayerfully consider this? It may be the beginning of a whole new life. A transition begins with an ending, not a new beginning. We don’t just become an adult. We first stop acting like a child. At this point I should add a caution. Some people are so motivated to see things change that they are too eager to prune. Pruning isn’t something to be done carelessly. It takes discernment. If you attack an apple tree with a chainsaw without knowing the right season or method (something I’m guilty of), your tree may die. The goal of this article, and Dr. Cloud’s book, is not to pursue endings for their own sake. Rather, it is to nurture flourishing lives. As such, if you are eager to see an ending, it would be good to first search your heart to discern what is motivating you. Dr. Cloud is a Christian, but the book is written for a broader audience. If we go to Scripture, we can find even more wisdom and perspective as it relates to the importance of endings. God makes it clear in His Word that our lives, and all history, are progressing towards an ending: our impending death and the judgement we will face before His throne. Whether it is through the pain of burnout, disease, or old age, God is reminding us that our lives on earth won’t carry on forever and we shouldn’t pretend they will. He has given us a blueprint to show us how He wants us to use the time He has given. And He also warns us to “keep watch, because you do not know on what day your Lord will come” (Matthew 24:42). But Scriptures also show that God is not a harsh boss who is only interested in the bottom line. Our works aren’t going to satisfy Him. Thankfully, because of the good news of Jesus Christ’s victory over death in our place, death isn’t an ultimate ending. Rather, it is a door to a whole new life of joy. Once again, we see how endings are necessary and open the door to a new life. May our willingness to make endings here reflect the confidence we have in the new life that is waiting. ***** Necessary Endings: The employees, businesses, and relationships that all of us have to give up in order to move forward by Henry Cloud 2011 / 238 pages It is one thing to see the need for pruning, and another to know how to do it. The idea of ending an activity that has gone on for years, or cutting someone out of our lives, can be scary and needs to be managed carefully. Space doesn’t allow me to summarize all of Dr. Cloud’s advice so I’m going to instead encourage readers to get a copy of the book to discover the wealth of wisdom he shares. This includes topics like “having the conversation: strategies for ending things well.” And if you find it difficult to read a whole book on the topic, it is also available as an audio book. Perhaps you can listen to the book with someone else who would be blessed by it....

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News

Saturday Selections – Feb. 8, 2025

Monarch butterflies are freaky cool  (7 min) We know that caterpillars become butterflies – two creatures in one! – but did you know that Monarch butterflies themselves have two entirely different life spans? One generation lives just weeks, and the next will live months, long enough for them to make the journey from Canada to Mexico, a route they have never traveled before. That's three creatures in one! Who will you believe about spanking? Big-name psychological groups say spanking is harmful. But that says more about them than about spanking. Sooner or later, babies will be too precious to abort More people die from abortion than all other causes of death combined – abortion may have accounted for 52 percent of all deaths in 2021. Michael Cook thinks the consequences of this slaughter will be such that shrinking nations will have to turn their backs on abortion... or disappear. "Devil with a bluegrass, bluegrass, bluegrass, devil with a bluegrass thumb" Being able to laugh at yourself is grace indeed! Origin-of-life challenge: $10 million, just lying around (10-minute read) Since 2019, a $10 million prize has been available for anyone who can produce “a purely chemical process that will generate, transmit and receive a simple code.” This is a key tenet of evolution – that unguided processes can create and transmit information – and evolutionists have not been able to put up... so we should rightly regard them as having been shut up. Tariffs: why Canada shouldn't hit back  Free trade – free of barriers and restrictions – has, traditionally, been pretty exclusive to the Right side of the political spectrum. But now, with President Trump threatening tariffs on Canada and Mexico, we're even hearing the Left talk about the harms that tariffs could cause. And not just to Canada and Mexico, but to American consumers too. As the far-left stalwart Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (aka AOC) noted on X, "Remember: *WE* pay the tariffs....Trump is all about making inflation WORSE for working class Americans, not better." But what is she talking about when she says Americans pay the tariffs it charges? Think of it this way. Imagine two towns located right next to each other – Town A and Town B – and each has a car mechanic. These mechanics are full-service: they go right to your house to do the repairs. The only difference between the two is that the car mechanic in Town A – let's call him Arnold – is way cheaper, so not only do all the folks in Town A use Arnold, so do most of the folks in Town B. That, understandably, makes the mechanic in town B – we'll him Bill – quite unhappy, as it really hurts his business. So Bill demands that his town put in a tariff of sorts. He wants a 25% surcharge on any "out of town" car mechanics. He argues that this surcharge will be incredibly beneficial – applying it to Arnold for the work he does in Town B will help fund Town B's government. It will also help protect Town B's homegrown car repair businesses - Bill's – by making his prices seem more competitive. And, Bill notes, if he gets more business, the government will benefit from the taxes he'll pay. Bill pitches his tariff/surcharge as a win/win all the way around. But Bill is forgetting someone – several someones, in fact. The surcharge will make Arnold's prices higher. Any Town B clients who do continue to use him will now be paying 25% more. And any clients he loses to Bill will be impacted too, having to pay Bill's higher prices for their car repairs, taking a bigger chunk out of their household budget than ever before. In other words, Bill is staying in business at the expense of the car repair consumers in his own town. That's not win/win at all – that's a win for Bill, at the cost of everyone else in town. This is what AOC meant when she said that Americans will pay the tariffs they charge. Canada rightly fears American tariffs on the energy and goods they produce. Those tariffs could hurt our producers badly. But hitting back at American tariffs with our own tariffs on US goods is only going to compound the pain. It might benefit some of our producers – whoever makes the goods that compete with imported American goods – but that benefit will come at the expense of Canadian consumers overall by making them pay more. Just like Town B's car repair "tariff" hurt Town B's citizens. Is there an explicitly biblical perspective to be brought here? Well, what about Leviticus 19:15? “Do not pervert justice; do not show partiality to the poor or favoritism to the great, but judge your neighbor fairly." God equates justice and impartiality, which prompts a question: should a government take actions that benefit some of its citizens – some producers – at the expense of other citizens, the consumers and producers who use those goods? Isn't that partiality? God also speaks to this in his Golden Rule (Matt. 7:12). "Do unto others as you would like done unto you," applied to the economic realm would mean that car mechanic Bill wouldn't argue for his surcharge because he wouldn't want that same surcharge applied to everything he buys. If Town A has cheap car parts, or groceries, or gasoline, he'd love to be able to benefit. That fact is, tariffs always hurt consumers, so no matter what the US does, let's not let tariffs beget more tariffs. Instead of putting up trade barriers, there are interprovincial barriers we could greatly benefit from taking down, as Pierre Poilievre explains below. ...

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Christian education

Growth in independent schools and homeschooling

“The public school has become a counter-church. It is a powerful institution for the purpose of squeezing out of our children the worldview of the Bible and saturating them with the worldview of Pelagius, Rousseau, or whoever. The school where the Bible is banned has become a weapon of defense as well as of offense for the spirit that resists God’s Word against the spirit that embraces that Word.” Those are the words of Abraham Kuyper over a hundred years ago as he discussed the “schools question” in the Netherlands. His concern over the state of public education was the main catalyst behind his concept of sphere sovereignty. Rather than schools being controlled by the government (or even the church), he envisioned an educational system where schools were truly independent. While Kuyper’s philosophy of education took hold in the Netherlands, the idea of independent schools – and homeschooling – took far longer to take hold in Canada. But one positive social trend in Canada today is the growth of homeschooling and independent schools over the past fifteen years. The “School Enrollment Growth in Canada from 2007-2023” graph charts these changes based on data from Statistics Canada for Canada as a whole and the four provinces in which most Reformed Christians in Canada live. Note the stagnation of the public school system – what Kuyper labeled the counter-church – and the growth of alternative forms of education. Over the last fifteen years, enrollment in the public school system increased by only 6% across Canada. It even declined slightly (-2%) in Ontario. The significant increase in Alberta is mostly due to the rapid growth of Alberta’s school age population. The growth of independent schools Independent schools, on the other hand, experienced four times the growth that public schools did across Canada. British Columbia and Ontario experienced the largest increases at 32%. The trend toward independent schools is accelerating. Not only are independent schools growing, they are growing faster and faster every year on average. For example, in the first three years of this data (2007-2011), the average annual growth rate of independent schools was only 0.2%. In the last three years of this data (2020-2023) the average annual growth rate was 1.3%. And altogether that does add up. Some of this growth is due to existing independent schools getting bigger. Depending on where you live in Canada, perhaps you can see this growth firsthand in your local Reformed school. But some of the growth is from brand new Christian schools. One example that has ties to Reformed churches is a new classical Christian school, Compass Community Learning Centre, in Langley and New Westminster, BC. This Christian school opened their doors a few years ago to provide Christian families with a thoroughly Christian education a little closer to home, in a more communal setting, and using a classic teaching pedagogy that focuses on grammar, logic, and rhetoric. The growth of homeschooling What stands out the most in the graph above is the growth in homeschooling over the past 15 years. A lot of this growth is due to the impact of COVID, government restrictions on public schools, and the adaptation of independent schools in 2020. Prior to 2020, the number of homeschool students grew by an average of 6.3% per year, which was far more than the growth in independent schools (1.5%) and public schools (0.4%). But in the first full school year during COVID, the number of homeschooled students more than doubled, growing 107% in a single year. And while many (35%) of those students eventually returned to public or independent schools, by the end of the 2022-23 school year, many more students continued on the homeschooling track. In the coming years, we will see whether those students stay within the homeschooling track or also choose to go back to a more conventional form of schooling. Why this growth is cause for gratitude This growth in independent and home schools is a win for two reasons. First, it is a win for the principle of parental involvement in education. Virtually every reference to teaching or raising children in Scripture describes parents – not professional teachers – as the educators of their children. For example, right after the second giving of the law, Moses commands: “And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise” (Deut. 6:6-7). Now, this doesn’t mean that only parents are allowed to teach their children. As humanity developed and specialized and as knowledge expanded and became more complex, parents needed help with their responsibility to educate their children, leading to the creation of schools. There, professional teachers do much of the actual work of educating children. But it shouldn’t be that parents hand off the education of their children to others and wash their hands of the matter. That responsibility ultimately remains with parents. (And there is a whole body of evidence that suggests that the more involved a parent is in the education of their child, the better that child will do at school.) Public schools, however, have increasingly wrested this authority away from parents in all sorts of ways. The centralization of power in a provincial ministry of education limits the authority of local elected school boards. In much of eastern Canada, elected school boards have been eliminated entirely. Some public schools withhold information from parents about their children, such as if they are socially transitioning at school. On the other hand, most independent schools strive to deeply involve parents in the education of their children. Many independent schools simply wouldn’t exist if it weren’t for the passion, time, money, and involvement of parents. And, of course, homeschooling is the most direct form of parents taking responsibility for the education of their children. Every child that is removed from the public school system and attends an independent school or is homeschooled is a win for the idea that parents – not governments or even schools or teachers – are the primary players in education. Second, the growth in independent schools and homeschooling is a win for Christian education. Public Catholic schools aside, public schools are secular schools. For example, the BC School Act requires that: “All schools and Provincial schools must be conducted on strictly secular and nonsectarian principles. The highest morality must be inculcated, but no religious dogma or creed is to be taught in a school or Provincial school.” Teaching a Christian worldview or the Bible as truth simply is not possible in most public schools. But it is possible to base education around a Christian worldview in independent schools and through homeschooling. Now, not every independent school is a Christian school. Not every homeschooling parent is a Christian parent. While the data on what percentage of independent schools and homeschooling students are Christian isn’t easily accessible, a 2016 Fraser Institute report found that 38.5% of all independent schools were Christian schools. They enrolled 37.1% of all independent school children. And yet, the existence of a wide variety of independent schools and homeschooling movements helps give Christian schools and Christian parents the freedom to educate their students and children in the fear of the LORD. The larger, the more diverse, and the more pluralistic the independent education and homeschooling sector is, the safer Christian schools are from the overreach of a post-Christian government. And so, while there may be many disappointing developments in public schools across the country, one bright spot that we can thank God for is the growth of independent schools and homeschooling across our country....

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Assorted

Christians don’t retire

Retirement is unbiblical. Before you think that I’m accusing everyone over the age of 65 of unbiblical behavior, let me lay out the case for why Reformed Christians should be wary of the concept of retirement. God created men and women to work – He placed Adam in the Garden of Eden to “work it and keep it” (Gen. 2:15). This was an application of the cultural mandate to “be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion” (Gen. 1:28). Although the fall into sin made work toilsome (Gen. 3:17-19), God continues to call each and every person to work and to labor for His Kingdom. Now, this work is not just paid employment. Paid employment is work, but caring for children is work too. Doing chores inside the house and out in the yard is work. Volunteering is work. Serving and ministering to others is work. Going hard six days a week Throughout our entire lives we are called to work six days of every week, with the gift of regular rest on every seventh day. And Scripture is full of rebukes for those who shirk work. Proverbs calls upon the sluggard to consider the industrious ways of the ant (Prov. 6:6-11). In the parable of the talents, Jesus condemns the servant who buried his talent in the ground, exclaiming, “You wicked and slothful servant!” (Matt. 25:26). In 2 Thess. 3:11-12, Paul warns against idleness, having heard that some “walk in idleness, not busy at work, but busybodies. Now such persons we command and encourage in the Lord Jesus Christ to do their work quietly and to earn their own living.” Beyond just providing for ourselves and our families, a Christian is also called to “labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need” (Eph. 4:28). We are called to work as we are able, for the good of ourselves, our neighbors, and ultimately for the glory of God. Worldly view of retirement But our wealthy, twenty-first-century culture has invented the concept of retirement from work. Public policy and cultural expectations encourage people to work until they are 64 years and 364 days old and then quit working entirely on their 65th birthday. From that day on, our culture promises that life can be one of leisure, full of exotic vacations, games of golf, and doting on grandchildren. It is some sort of horrible, evil thing if people have to work past 65. It is this caricature of retirement that I suggest is unbiblical. There is no biblical precedent for retiring from work or picking an arbitrary age to stop serving in the Kingdom of God. Perhaps some will push back and say that rest is good and biblical. And so it is. But perpetual rest on this side of glory is not. The fourth commandment, although the emphasis is on rest, still commands “six days you shall do all your work.” That is the pattern that God gave from creation. Our eternal rest doesn’t start when we reach the age of 65. That rest is only to be found in the life to come. From one line of work to another And so, to those who are retired from their paid employment or whose retirement is on the horizon, Reformed Christians should encourage each other to look around for ways to consider laboring in God’s Kingdom as they are able. Perhaps that is paid employment. Perhaps that is looking after grandchildren. Perhaps that is serving more in the church or volunteering in the community. (And it is worth repeating as you are able. The diminished health and energy of old age can and do limit opportunities for service.) There are any number of suggestions for service that could be made, so I’ll just make one from my personal experience. This is for the older men in the church. My home church in Abbotsford is very blessed to be a young congregation. It is literally overflowing with families and young children. As beautiful as that is, it comes with challenges too. One of those challenges is that many of the potential office-bearers are young and haven’t served as office-bearers before. I just finished my first term as a deacon and, aside from one experienced brother, the other five of us were first-time office-bearers in our twenties and thirties. We all served to the best of our abilities, but doubtless our youth and inexperience shone through many times. It is in situations like these that retired office-bearers have a perfect opportunity to mentor, advise, and encourage younger office-bearers, perhaps going along on visits, joining with a younger office-bearer in prayer over his task, sharing book recommendations, or offering their expertise and advice on difficult situations. The opportunities for service throughout retirement are endless. But the central point is that we view our entire lives as devoted to service of the Kingdom of God. Not just our first 65 years....

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Pornography

A church response is needed to stop the porn crisis

Parental controls are not enough ***** Over the past several years, I have spoken in dozens of Christian communities to thousands of students and parents on the issue of digital porn addiction. Ten years ago, many parents thought the warnings about the digital porn threat were well-intentioned, but exaggerated. These days, most people are aware that porn use is swiftly becoming a norm in Christian communities. Not a single Christian high school I have spoken at did not have a significant number of students struggling with pornography. Protecting your home doesn’t protect your kids So, how do parents take steps to effectively porn-proof their homes? Many parents try to do just that. They install internet filters. They monitor the devices their children have or have access to. They use Covenant Eyes, Qustodio, or other accountability software. But time and again, frustrated parents tell me that their children have been exposed to explicit content anyways, because the parents of the friends their children hang out with do not take these precautions. Additionally, parents who actively monitor the internet access of their children by not giving them a smartphone face constant fights with their children if they are among the few who do not have one. The reality is that if Christian communities are going to respond effectively to the crisis of porn addiction among the young, it will take a community response. Yes, it is essential that individual households ensure that internet access is both restricted and closely monitored. But this is clearly not enough. In fact, secular governments are for the most part ahead of church leaders in recognizing this reality, which is why American state legislatures, the UK government, and other governments across Europe are grappling with the problem of how to keep pornography away from children. They recognize that this is a social problem requiring a robust collective solution, and Christian communities must recognize this, as well. Christian communities are, for the most part, lagging behind secular leaders in recognizing this problem and considering collective solutions. This needs to be “all in” In a recent essay in First Things titled “Parents Can’t Fight Porn Alone,” in which they make the case for government restrictions on digital pornography, Clare Morell and Brad Littlejohn explain why communities need to work together: “Pornography’s addictive properties raise the stakes. Not only are children ill equipped to make rational choices about whether to consume a product, but their developing brains are more likely than adult brains to become hooked, with lifelong consequences. Adults may abuse alcohol, tobacco, and porn (indeed, for porn, there is no good “use,” but the law cannot suppress every vice), but they are less likely to become addicted if the first exposure occurs after age eighteen, when their brains are more fully developed. And the addictive qualities of porn make a mockery of parental controls: Once a child has encountered porn for the first time (perhaps through a friend, or on a parent’s device, or before the parents realized they needed to put controls on the child’s device), his or her brain will be programmed to hunt for it again and again, so that any and every loophole or glitch is an opening to ongoing porn consumption. “Too often, portals to porn come in the form of friends. For many American children, the dark journey with pornography begins on the school bus, at recess, or even at youth group. Even when parents set up content-filtering regimes for their own families, they cannot control what other families in their communities are doing. With 95 percent of teens carrying around mini-computers in their pockets, it is all too easy for a peer with an unfiltered smartphone to expose another child to pornography. An Oxford Internet Institute study thus estimated that for a single child to be shielded from online pornography in any given year, at least seventeen households in his or her network (and possibly as many as seventy-seven) would need to be employing filters.” Porn is looking for them Re-read that for a moment: At least seventeen households in the network of a single child need to be monitoring and restricting internet usage in order to protect him or her from online porn for a single year. And as I emphasize in my presentations, it doesn’t matter whether your kids are looking for porn – if they’re online, porn is looking for them. As Morell and Littlejohn put it: “Today, the average home has multiple internet-connected devices: smart TVs, laptops, iPads, gaming consoles, and smartphones for every member of the family, not to mention school-issued devices. Each of these ‘smart’ technologies may have hundreds of individual apps, many with their own in-app internet browsers, which means there may be thousands of points of entry to the internet in a single home. A minor using Snapchat, for instance, can reach Pornhub in just five clicks without ever leaving the app. “The abundance of portals requires several different parental control solutions, few of which are intuitive or wholly reliable. Apple’s Screen Time filter, one of the best, requires seventeen steps to set up properly, has been known to stop working without warning, and even when fully functional can be hacked by tech-savvy teens. Better-designed third-party parental control apps are barred from accessing and regulating many of the most popular – and dangerous – apps, such as Discord, Snapchat, and TikTok. And if a parent, recognizing that no one solution is comprehensive, tries to install more than one external control app on the same device, the apps will often conflict with one another. “Parents thus find themselves losing the arms race against Big Tech and Big Porn. This is dire, since children do not need to go looking for pornography; it finds them on social media. The porn industry has adopted the social media influencer model, with porn performers promoting their content on platforms such as TikTok, YouTube, X, Facebook, and Instagram, in order to entice users (many of them minors) to click through to their own sites.” Unsurprisingly, many parents despair. Plenty of parents eventually give up, worn down by the begging and badgering of their children and the lack of community support for their decisions about smartphones and internet-capable devices. If all the other kids have them, they can’t be that bad, right? Porn has been around forever, and most people turned out okay, didn’t they? If we are taking this problem more seriously than our community leadership, we’re probably being paranoid or going overboard, aren’t we? It is far easier to cave, cover our eyes, and hope for the best – but this invariably has devastating consequences, many of which I detail in a comprehensive chapter in my recent book How We Got Here: A Guide to Our Anti-Christian Culture. A growing problem If we are to protect our children from being exposed to explicit content and developing porn addictions – and again, I emphasize that this is a significant and growing problem in every Christian community I have visited – we will need to work together. Christian communities should treat pornography addiction with the same level of seriousness we would apply to a wave of addiction to other drugs. Pornography is more insidious because its effects, at first, are less visible – but they are no less destructive. They rewire and fundamentally transform the mind, alter our ability to relate to the opposite sex, and profoundly poison our ability to have healthy relationships. Thus, community leaders should address the pornography crisis head on. Yes, parents should ensure that every internet-capable device is locked down and monitored. But we must also work with other parents and ensure that the networks we are a part of are pulling in the same direction. (As the American psychologist Dr. Leonard Sax put it in a presentation I attended recently, it is the task of parents to find out if the household their child is visiting has unrestricted internet access.) Christian schools should develop and enforce rigid policies on smartphone use at school and, ideally, cultivate a community with a collective standard that recognizes the dangers of giving teenagers smartphones to begin with. We are all in this together, and we cannot protect our children from pornography if other parents are not willing to do the same. Time to catch up Again, secular experts are ahead of most Christian communities on this issue. Intellectuals such as Jonathan Haidt (The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness) are driving a new consensus: Giving a child (and that very much includes teenagers) a smartphone (or device with unfiltered internet access) is one of the most damaging decisions a parent can make. Morell and Littlejohn are right: Parents cannot do this alone. But they shouldn’t have to, either. Christian communities are lagging behind secular governments and experts on this issue. It is time we caught up. This is reprinted with permission from TheBridgehead.ca where it was first published under the title “Parental controls are not enough: A community response is needed to stop the porn crisis” and where Jonathon Van Maren blogs and also hosts a regular podcast....

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