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Assorted

Veya’s story

The fight for her life in a broken and biased healthcare system – one that sees doctors perpetrating euthanasia and abortion and calling them both medical care.

*****

“Our sweet Veya Hope ran into the arms of Jesus yesterday.” So shared Veya’s mother, Krystal Vanderbrugghen, on her Instagram page on August 2, 2025. Krystal continued: “Her name was her calling – Hope. She carried it with her every single day she spent inside those hospital rooms and gave it to all who knew her.”

Veya was first introduced to the waiting world, and to the arms of her parents Krystal and Jeremy, just a year and a half earlier, on December 4, 2023. Although the LORD didn’t have many days allotted for Veya here on Earth, her life touched tens of thousands of hearts. And her experiences here also exposed just how difficult it can be to fight for care in a broken world and medical system.

“We pray that Veya’s story continues to encourage other families who are given this same precious gift – the gift of loving and raising a child with Down Syndrome,” Krystal explained.

Hope born

Jeremy and Krystal, along with their other children Ivylee, Irelyn, and Lincoln, live in Caledonia, Ontario. In the fall of 2023, as they were eagerly awaiting the birth of another child, they learned that their baby had a congenital heart defect which would require surgery at some point after birth.

“While this is a lot to process, we know without a doubt God truly has a perfect plan for this baby even though the road ahead is filled with uncertainties.”

That’s what Krystal shared at that time on Instagram, not realizing just how true these words would be for her and her family. She would continue to share, with all who took an interest, the challenges of the road they were on. In an appearance on RP’s Real Talk podcast earlier this year, talking with Lucas Holtvluwer, Krystal explained that hospital stays brought their own problems.

“She was born with Down Syndrome and a cardiac defect – pretty straightforward – but she has now encountered some medical complexities from living her life in a hospital this long and from delayed treatments.”

One complication and delay led to another, and Veya was transferred from Hamilton’s McMaster Hospital to SickKids Hospital in Toronto, which is one of the leading children’s hospitals in the world.

Crumbling care

“Our journey started off really great, like we had teams that were really invested,” Krystal explained to Lucas. “But then we experienced her care declining January of this year, so that kind of set her on a totally different trajectory.”

“Specifically with her last ICU admission, you could just tell through the conversations with the doctors that they were really just trying to wrap things up with her and kind of coerce us into letting her go rather than help her,” she shared on the podcast. “I feel like the team coach, trying to keep the spirits alive…. But they all just kind of vanished.”

Krystal was particularly confused when Veya was denied a necessary liver transplant. She asked their Pediatric Advanced Care team if it was Veya’s Down Syndrome that was influencing their decision-making. “They can never say yes or no, but they said, ‘Mom, I think you know the answer to that deep down in your heart.’ And I said, ‘well, that is the confirmation.’”

One particular incident really broke Krystal’s trust in Veya’s care.

“Right after her liver surgery, she got RSV , and then a few days after that, she got overdosed with a lethal amount of potassium. It wasn't just a little bit, it was 10 times the regular amount that she normally gets, and it was during the evening when none of us were there.”

Veya’s heart rate went to 350 beats per minute, and she had to be shocked three times to stabilize her.

“I do have questions whether it actually was an accident or not, because these sorts of things happen when families step away. So, the timing of it, but also the amount. You know, it's one thing, if you gave a little extra, but 10 times the amount, like, an actual lethal dose?”

Growing support

Krystal shared the ups and downs of Veya’s journey on her Instagram account. Her photos, videos, and touching words lit a fire in many hearts around the world, and she ended up with close to 40,000 Instagram followers, many of whom were praying for Veya, and encouraging Krystal and her family.

“For me, social media was like an open diary and a way for me to process but also a way for me to be able to connect with others that were raising children with Down Syndrome, because I knew nothing about it, and so it's been a really great place for resources and connecting.”

But the care hasn’t only been virtual. Krystal and Jeremy are members of Trinity Canadian Reformed Church in Glanbrook, Ontario. And as she told Lucas back in July, “Our church community, they're phenomenal. I'll tell you this, we had a meal train set up for Veya when she was born, and we are 19 months into this and that same meal train is still going.” She added that the amount of support they have received allowed them to be fully present and to advocate for Veya, because everything else was being taken care of.

The many prayers that were raised for their family carried them. “I don't think my husband and I really understood that till we lived this experience. Like you really feel carried by prayers. There's just this indescribable peace that comes with it.”

Growing faith

We read in James 1:3 how “the testing of your faith produces endurance” and Krystal attested to this when speaking about their journey prior to Veya’s death.

“As much as we want to enter the next season of life and be off of this medical journey, there's a part of you that doesn't, because of the experience you have with God's nearness. Because it forces you to slow down and really lean into Him.

“….The ways we've experienced God's goodness and care over these 19 months, we're forever thankful for that. Faith is not without pain. It's there to give you the courage to face it, right? And a lot of times this journey has really forced us to our knees.”

She later added that, as hard as it has been, they have seen so much good come from this journey already, particularly with the many interactions with people in the hospital.

Seeking justice

After Veya’s promotion to glory, Krystal shared with Reformed Perspective that they hope to have further meetings with SickKids Hospital regarding the neglect that Veya experienced, which Krystal sees as a push to end Veya’s life rather than care for it. “What was happening was the team was trying to 'stealth euthanize' Veya through means of denying life-saving measures.”

They are working with other families who experienced similar harms for their medically complex children at the same hospital, seeking to raise their concerns collectively. Her hope is to see a formal acknowledgement of harm, public reporting requirements, independent investigations, disability rights training, and whistleblower protection so that staff can report unsafe practices without fear of losing their jobs.

Although she has devoted much of her past couple of years to being an advocate for Veya and others with disabilities, she also understands that she can only do so much. And that is OK. “Our God, The Creator of Life has the final say.”

Advice for others

When asked by RP what advice she would have for other families who may face similar situations, she urged them to document everything, including conversations and decisions, names, and copies of medical records. She also advised to never go into important meetings alone. Bring someone to witness and support you.

Further, use clear and assertive language like “can you explain in writing why you are denying this treatment?” And if there are concerns, escalate them by asking to speak with a patient’s relations person or ombudsman, or even filing a complaint with the hospital leadership or licensing board.

She encourages others to seek a second, or third opinion, and not be afraid to transfer care to another institution, even if it feels scary. And “trust your instincts – God gives them to us for a reason!” You know your child best so “if something feels wrong, it probably is.”

Most soberly, she warns “know that Canada has become a death culture.” In an age where it has become legal to end the life of someone who requests it simply because they are suffering, it becomes all the more important to be on guard for the care of our loved ones, particularly those who are more vulnerable. “Instead of offering care, too many hospitals offer ‘comfort care only.’ Instead of fighting for life, they push families towards giving up and will blame you for your loved one’s suffering.”

Her final advice is most encouraging. “You are not alone, God goes behind you and before you…. When you are battling the medical system for your child never forget to stop and ask God for guidance, strength, wisdom and peace. He sees, He knows, and He will lead you step by step.”

A tribute for Veya

In the weeks following Veya’s death, Krystal paid tribute to Veya with these words:

“I didn’t have to look into your eyes to fall in love with you. I didn’t need to hear your soft, raspy cry to know you loved me too. I didn’t have to hold your hands to cherish you forever – because from the very beginning, within my womb, our hearts were already intertwined.

“Veya, you changed me. Through you God gave me a deep perspective. You touched my soul and awakened a love so deep that can only be explained by His goodness. You gave me countless memories that I will hold close for the rest of my life. My heart aches in a way words can’t fully capture, and I know that ache won’t leave until we’re together again. …Though the longing never fades, each day moves me closer to the joy of holding you in Heaven.”

Pictures used with permission of the Vanderbrugghens.

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News

A renewed hunger for the Bible

Data from the Association of American Publishers reveals that the biggest sales increase among all categories of books being published last year in the United States was religious books – up 18.5 percent from the previous year. This comes on the heels of similar growth the previous year. Publishers Weekly asked these publishers what was driving the increase and the answer was Bibles, Bible study materials, commentaries, and devotionals. “Christianity and Scripture and the people who write from these perspectives hit people where they live” explained Shane White, divisional VP for sales at InterVarsity Press. “That's why we see the sales we see." "Whatever denomination you're in, whatever your religious background, you're engaging the Bible more now than you did 10 years ago," noted Bob Gaudet, the executive VP of marketing and publicity for Baker Publishing Group. Although there isn’t data of Bible sales in Canada, the Canadian Bible Society distributed 631,298 Bibles and pieces of Scripture in 2024, a 20.1 percent increase from the previous year, which was already 22.5 percent more than the previous year. In Isaiah 55:10-11, God reminds us that just as the rain comes down from heaven to water the earth and make it sprout, giving us both seed for sowing and bread for eating, the same is true of His Word. “It shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose.” Praise be to God for giving more people an appetite for the Bread of Life (John 6:35)....

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News

Saturday Selections – Sept 13, 2025

On the death of Charlie Kirk American Christian and conservative leader Charlie Kirk was shot and killed on Wednesday. Kirk (1993-2025) wasn't as remarkable for what he said (though he did get things mostly right) as he was for how he spoke up (boldly, as a grateful child of God) and for where he was willing to go. Kirk made dozens and dozens, and maybe hundreds, of appearances – captured as YouTube clips – on campuses across the United States. He'd set up a booth and take on any and all questions from liberal students who, it so often seemed, had never even heard an intelligent conservative Christian speak before. It was at one of these events that he was murdered. The link above goes to a collection of articles, assembled by Tim Challies, reflecting on Kirk's assassination. The video below is of Kirk stepping up for the unborn. May Kirk's courage inspire many more Christian young men to be just as strong and courageous (Joshua 1). Tim Challies, on how to write a great book review... ...which is a great primer for writing a book review for Reformed Perspective too. If you've got a great book you'd like to review, let us know. Organ transplant investigations expose grisly stories of patient abuse This is an American story, but one that should concern Canadians because in our murder-as-medicine MAiD-approving country, wouldn't it be all the more likely that a dying patient might be euthanized for their organs? Taming technology (10 min. read) Some real help on offer here for families who want to rethink how technology is taking over their home. How to face apparent contradictions in the Bible Michael Kruger has three tips to deal with passages in the Bible that seem contradictory: 1) don't be scared of them 2) don't apply today's conventions to yesterday's writers 3) be humble and patient: that we don't have an explanation now doesn't mean there isn't one, or that it won't show up later My Soul Among Lions, Psalm 2 I remain fascinated at the many very different, great treatments that can be given to the Psalms..... ...

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News

The assassination of Charlie Kirk

A new era has been marked; Christians must tell the truth. Unsurprisingly, on September 11, 2001, I wept. I also wept, unexpectedly, on September 11, 2011. Perhaps it was delayed grief, but mostly, it was a delayed realization. Sitting that Sunday morning with my young daughters, only 6, 4, and 2 at the time, it struck me how different their world was from the one I wanted for them. The same sense struck this week, on September 10. The assassination of Charlie Kirk seems to mark a new era, a world no one wants but may very well be here. Calling the murder a “tragedy for all of us,” U.K. comedian and commentator Konstantin Kisin wrote: "I hope I’m wrong. But tonight feels like some sort of invisible line has been crossed that we didn’t even know was there. … o murder a young father simply for doing debates and mobilising young people to vote for a party that represents half of America? This is something else. "Charlie’s death is a tragedy for his wife, his children and his family. I don’t pray often. I am praying for them tonight. But I fear his murder will be a tragedy for all of us in ways we will only understand as time unfolds. "I hope I’m wrong. I fear I’m not." Kisin is not wrong about lines being crossed, though the Christian must not fear. We must, however, squarely face the sober realities of this moment. Kirk’s murder followed another this week, in Charlotte, of a young woman from Ukraine riding a public train. Iryna Zarutska was stabbed by a man who should have been in prison or at least institutionalized, and she was then left to die by people too engrossed in their screens to notice or too jaded to care. Together, these atrocities reveal realities about our culture and how it has shaped those within it that many will find unthinkable. But we had better think about it anyway. Zarutska’s killer is a terrible example of the mental and social brokenness that permeates modern life. The bystanders who did not come to her defense or to her aid are, like the social media commenters and media personalities who callously commented on Kirk’s assassination, examples of the rabid and pervasive dehumanization that infects the Western world. In a recent Breakpoint commentary, released prior to the atrocities of this week, Abdu Murray argued that this “post-truth world that elevates feelings and preferences above facts and truth has collapsed the distinction between a person’s ideas and their identity. And so, the social erasure of cancel culture has calcified into something darker.” That something darker, he argued, is “assassination culture.” He continued, “Unmoored from that objective standard for human value, we have made gods of ourselves and therefore justify eradicating any who dare to have other gods before us.” This is precisely what Os Guinness warned of in the new film Truth Rising, that the West is squandering a unique heritage. A civilization built upon the ideal of human dignity, with a mixed and troubled history of working out that ideal, has now replaced it with something else. But racialized, sexualized, and politicized conceptions of human dignity only produce victims. George Orwell is often credited as saying, “In a time of deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.” Charlie Kirk was a committed truth teller, with a remarkable gift for exposing and answering deceit. And yet, as he did this, he treated the deceived with the dignity they had as image bearers of their Creator, recognizing that they too were victims of their own bad ideas. There is a cost to telling the truth. Our Lord has told us to count this cost. If Kisin is indeed correct, that cost is higher than we have imagined. This is indeed a civilizational moment. It is to this moment that we have been called as His people. As His people, we know that this moment is not some fatalistic inevitability, nor does it determine or define the Story of which we are part. In a video circulating on social media, Charlie is asked why he went on campuses to talk with and try to persuade those who disagree with him. Charlie responded, “Because when people stop talking, that’s when violence happens.” It was a prophetic moment, but Kirk also demonstrated that we need not accept that. He showed that the conversation can be had; that it must be had. He showed that the truth still wins hearts and minds, and that lies can be opposed. And that it can all be done with a big smile. It takes courage to tell the truth and to, as Paul wrote, “regard no one from a worldly point of view.” As Murray wrote, only the “ancient biblical truth about what it means to be human can heal our contemporary malady.” It can be healed. This is not wishful thinking. This is the hope Christ secured for us all. As the banner on the Turning Point USA website proclaims, Charlie Kirk has been “received into the merciful arms of our loving Savior, who suffered and died for Charlie.” For more resources to live like a Christian in this cultural moment, go to Breakpoint.org. This is reprinted with permission from the Colson Center. Picture by Gage Skidmore and used under a CC BY-SA 2.0 license....

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News

Quebec to ban public prayer and advance secularism

The government of Quebec announced in August that it intends to introduce a law this fall to outlaw public prayer in the province. As Jean‑François Roberge, Quebec’s “Secularism Minister” explained in a statement on X: “The proliferation of street prayers is a serious and sensitive issue in Quebec. Last December, our government expressed its unease with this phenomenon, which is becoming increasingly common, especially in Montreal. The Premier of Quebec has given me the mandate to strengthen secularism, and I firmly intend to fulfill this mandate diligently…. This fall, we will, therefore, introduce a bill to reinforce secularism in Quebec, notably by prohibiting street prayers.” Roberge was indirectly referring to how Muslims have been gathering in prayer for months outside the Notre Dame Basilica in Montreal, leading to a growing counter-protest. “In recent months, Islamic prayers have also spilled into parks and downtown streets, with worshippers rolling out mats outside shopping districts and public offices,” explained Leslie Roberts, writing for the National Post. “What began occasionally has become a regular source of tension.” All government laws in Canada are required to align with Canada’s highest law, our constitution, which enshrines the freedoms of religion, expression, and assembly as “fundamental freedoms” in the Charter of Rights and Freedoms. As such, it is expected that Quebec will make use of Section 33 of the Charter, also known as the “notwithstanding clause,” which allows a legislature to override some of the rights in the Charter, though for only five years at a time. However, this override can be renewed indefinitely. Quebec already made use of this clause in 2019, when it banned public employees from wearing religious symbols while on duty. Roberge's announcement came on the heels of a report from a Quebec government committee tasked with providing advice on how to strengthen secularism. The committee gave 50 recommendations, including to phase out funding of private religious schools, eliminate religion as a charitable purpose, prohibit religious symbols in government advertising and create a National Day of Secularism. The definition of secularism is that the state is neutral in matters of religion. The Quebec government isn’t actually interested in neutrality. It is interested in using the power of the state to undermine religions that it disagrees with. This is simply another example of one religion (secularism) opposing other religions. As the Preamble of the Charter reveals, our rights and freedoms are based on “the supremacy of God and the rule of law.” Quebec, and Western society in general, is experiencing tension in the streets because the religions of secularism and Islam both fail to respect this. The constitution doesn’t work so well when the foundations beneath it are ignored or denied. The inevitable result is conflict, with one religion warring against another. The very concept of rights and freedoms did not, and could not, originate from a Muslim or secular worldview. Our "rights" come largely from God's prohibitions – we have a rights to property and life because God forbids theft and murder. Freedom of conscience finds a foundation in God's hatred for hypocritical worship (Amos 5:21-24) making legislated, compelled worship not just pointless but blasphemous. A biblical understanding of freedoms brings with it, however, a corresponding set of responsibilities. So, in this case, we ought to be able to pray both publicly and privately, but that also means that our praying shouldn’t cause a public disturbance that prevents others from exercising their rights and freedoms....

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News

Were the 215 soil abnormalities actually graves? 37% of Canadians think we should just presume so.

Allegations of mass graves outside of Canadian residential schools was one of the top news stories in the world in 2021. Ground-penetrating radar was said to have found evidence of the remains of as many as 215 children on the grounds of the former Kamloops Indian Residential School. But these soil anomalies have not been investigated since, and no exhumation has been done, and consequently, no actual bodies have been found. And today, for many Canadians, the lack of proof is seen as irrelevant. The results from a survey released by Angus Reid this summer revealed that 63% of respondents would only accept the initial claim if further information from exhumation was made available. However, more than a third of respondents will accept these are unmarked graves, even if nothing is done to verify whether these are actually graves. Among indigenous respondents, 44 per cent accepted the claim without more evidence. The numbers who don’t need evidence increases to 56% of young women, aged 18-34. A few years ago, Christian apologist Abdu Murray argued that we have transitioned from a post-modern world to a post-truth world. “Post-Modernism says there’s no such thing as truth, but Post-Truth mindsets say, ‘Truth is important, but only in so far as it feeds and satisfies my feelings and my preferences. So truth exists, but I don’t care unless it happens to conform with what I like.’” How do we engage with a world that acknowledges that truth exists but is happy to ignore it? In his book Saving Truth: Finding Meaning & Clarity in a Post-Truth World, Abdu Murray concludes that “the answer is Jesus – the truth who is personal. He is the Saving Truth.” In other words, Christians must communicate truth, but we must also introduce our neighbours to the person of Jesus – the “way, the truth, and the life” (John 14:6). Christ alone speaks to the head and the heart....

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Dating

8 reasons you should not have sex outside of marriage

Boy meets girl. Girl meets boy. They smile, they joke, they like each other. Boy and girl have sex. If they are really conservative, they wait for the third or fourth date. There is no message in the modern media, outside of Christian publishing, that encourages people to wait until after marriage to engage in sexual activities. If one watches TV and movies, it is easy to feel glad when a couple looks so happy – when we should be slapping ourselves on the side of the head and saying: “Hello! They are committing fornication or adultery and grieving God and everyone around them right now!” We Christians know that God says sex is only for within marriage. But I have been told by people that, “everyone is doing it” and “it’s a forgivable sin” and that “we just got carried away.” So I began listing all of the reasons I have ever heard from ministers or Christian counselors that explain why we should not have sex outside of marriage. These were reasons that they based on Scripture and numerous counseling sessions. I have presented this list from the point of view of an unmarried person, but the principles apply to those who are married as well. We are in a battle against many enemies – the world, the flesh and the devil – and when the hormones heat up, I think it helps to have as much ammunition as possible. Eight reasons 1. Don’t disobey You belong to the Lord, and therefore you are not your own, and He says that you should not. He created sex – there is nothing “dirty” about it – it is one of His good gifts, in its rightful place. He also has promised to give you strength to face sexual temptation, and you should regularly ask Him for it. 2. Seek high quality The sexual relationship is a very special and intimate bond between two people who have made a commitment to each other for life. The world tells us that we’d better check out our sexual compatibility before marriage. What they do not explain, and may not even realize, is that you diminish the quality of that lifelong relationship by giving away that special part of yourself to others beforehand. You damage that capability for intimacy! Why would you want to settle for less than the beautiful creation that God has intended for you? It would be like driving a 20-year-old rusty car when a brand new luxury automobile would have been yours. There is a loss suffered when you refuse to wait. There is wonderful reward for both when you come together for the very first time after the wedding ceremony. You are both worth waiting for. 3. Focus your life There are many other exciting and interesting and helpful and practical things to do with your time and your energy. If you focus on learning and preparing, and helping others and worshipping God, instead of on sex, you will not feel nearly as tempted to disobey God in this way. When couples focus on the physical sensations during dating or engagement, they do not take the time to really get to know each other spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and economically. She might be a great kisser, but does she budget money carefully? Does she know how to run a home? He might be a hunk to look at, but is he a hard worker, or a whiner? Does he like to talk about the Lord and pray together? Does he help others, or just think about himself? There is so much to learn about a person before a commitment is made. You should bake the cake before you put on the frosting. 4. Don’t be selfish The sexual relationship is a coming together “as one flesh”, and therefore it belongs only within a marriage. It is not a recreational activity. A guy should not “use” a woman/girl just to satisfy his own lust (“what base can I get to?”); a girl should think more highly of herself than to allow herself to be used. And a girl should not use a guy to provide herself with status and emotional highs (“if I don’t have a boyfriend, people will think less of me!”). Both should trust that God will provide a spouse if He so plans. She does not have to make herself a sex object in order to get loved. Her desires, as well as his, will be fulfilled when commitment is attached, and there cannot be abandonment afterwards. 5. Don’t hurt the future Even though you are “going together,” “in love,” or “engaged,” unmarried is still unmarried, that is, not married, right up until the ceremony itself is over. If you are sexually intimate with someone and then you break up, then you have been intimate with someone else’s wife or husband, and all of you will have to deal with those memories and feelings of guilt for a very long time. Even if you marry the person, you will have that disappointment/guilt/shame of knowing you started out your relationship in disobedience to God. As well, your beloved spouse will deserve to be accepted and not mentally compared to others (herein lies an argument against pornography and the trouble it can cause later on, as well.) 6. Don’t believe everything you see Sex is not always as exciting and romantic as it looks in the movies. Think about it – how realistic are the lives of the people in the films? They make it look all “right” and “perfect” because that makes the story better. They don’t talk about body odors and annoying habits and other things that one needs true love and commitment in order to overlook. It is not uncommon for married couples to have to work out difficulties in this area. Why complicate things beforehand? You probably have many years of life ahead of you during which you can engage in quality sexual intimacy with your spouse. But if you talk with married people, you will hear that the urgency and frequency wears off a bit over the years – so why should you start the “slow-down” sooner than necessary? There’s plenty of time when it’s the right time. You have the whole rest of your lives to enjoy one another. 7. Don’t Have A Child You might get pregnant, or cause a pregnancy, and you will not be in the best position to provide for that child. It’s not good planning, and it’s not good sense to do so, nor the best situation for your beloved child. It causes terrible pain to both sets of parents as well, and you should show respect and love for them. When you are expecting a child, you should be able to tell your parents joyfully: “you’re going to have a grandchild!” 8. Don’t itch, burn, contaminate, or die You might get a sexually transmitted disease from someone who gave it to someone who gave it to someone who gave it to your “partner.” They are invisible, so how would you know? HIV is only one – there are several more that are incurable. If this person is willing to engage in sexual activity (and that means all kinds involving the private areas), then it may be likely that they’ve done it with others as well. Since they are being sinful in this one area, they may not be too concerned about adding a little dishonesty to it as well. Conclusion A friend of mine told me that the only reason that we should need is the first one: Don’t Disobey the Lord. That should be true. We are called to be a separate and holy people, different from the world. However, I believe it can help us when we see just how many different types of harm God is protecting us from when He tells us to save sex for marriage....

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Parenting

J.C. Ryle on teaching our children to pray

In his book "Duties for Parents," J.C. Ryle encourages parents to take seriously the admonishment in Proverbs 22:6 to “Train up a child in the way he should go" because, as the verse continued, "when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Ryle explained that this promise applied both for good and for ill – early training would help the child right into adulthood, but bad habits fostered by parental neglect would also have a lasting impact. Now, this might seem an ominous verse, knowing that we parents are far from perfect. But God is not calling us to perfection here. He is, however, making it plain that He has given us an awesome and wonderful task, to be taken on with great seriousness. In the excerpt below from his book, Ryle urges parents to train their children to pray. **** Prayer is the very life-breath of true religion. It is one of the first evidences that a man is born again. When the Lord sent Ananias to Saul, He told Ananias: “Behold, he is praying” (Acts 9:11). Saul had begun to pray, and that was proof enough. Prayer is a key to spiritual growth. When there is lots of private communion with God, your soul will grow like the grass after rain; when there is little, all will be at a standstill – you will barely keep your soul alive. Show me a growing Christian, a strong Christian, a flourishing Christian, and I will show you one that speaks regularly with his Lord. He asks much, and he has much. He tells Jesus everything, and so he always knows how to act. Prayer is the mightiest engine God has placed in our hands. It is the best weapon to use in every difficulty, and the surest remedy in every trouble. It is the cry He has promised to always be listening for, even as a loving mother listens for the voice of her child. Prayer is the simplest means that man can use to come to God. It is within the reach of all of us – the sick, the aged, the infirm, the paralytic, the blind, the poor, the unlearned – everyone can pray. You don’t have to be academic or an intellectual to pray. So long as you have a tongue to tell God about the state of your soul, you can and you ought to pray. Those words, ” You do not have because you do not ask God” (James 4:2), will condemn many on the Day of Judgment. Parents, if you love your children, do all that lies in your power to train them up to a habit of prayer. Show them how to begin. Tell them what to say. Encourage them to persevere. Remind them if they become negligent and slack about it. This, remember, is the very first step in religion that a child can take themselves. Long before he can read, you can teach him to kneel by his mother’s side, and repeat the simple words of prayer and praise which she puts in his mouth. And as the first steps in any undertaking are always the most important, so is the manner in which your children’s prayers are prayed, a point which deserves your closest attention. Few seem to understand how much depends on this. We must beware of our children saying their prayers in haste, or carelessly, or irreverently. You must be cautious too, of leaving your children to say their prayers on their own, without you in the room. We must make certain they are actually saying their prayers. Surely if there’s any habit which your own hand and eye should be involved in forming, it is the habit of prayer. If you never hear your children pray yourself, then for any negligence on their part, you are much to blame. You are little wiser than the bird described in Job 39:14-16: For she abandons her eggs to the earth And warms them in the dust, And she forgets that a foot may crush them, Or that a wild beast may trample them. She treats her young cruelly, as if they were not hers; Though her labor be in vain, she is unconcerned; Prayer is, of all habits, the one which we remember the longest. Many a grey-headed man could tell you how his mother used to make him pray in the days of his childhood. He’ll have forgotten so many other things. The church where he was first taken to worship, the minister he first heard preach, the friends he used to play with – all may have been forgotten and left no mark behind. But you will often find it is far different with his first prayers. He will often be able to tell you where he knelt, and what he was taught to say, and even how his mother looked all the while. It will come up as fresh before his mind’s eye as if it was but yesterday. Reader, if you love your children, I charge you, do not let his early years pass without training him to pray. If you train your children in anything, then train them, at the very least, to make a habit of prayer. This is a modernized excerpt from J.C. Ryle’s article (and then book) “Duties of Parents” first published in 1888. This article was first published in Reformed Perspective in December 2018....

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Technology

Screen-fast strictness – how tough is tough enough?

The screen-fast sign-up form had a space for “My listed exceptions” where people could list the important but limited screen-usage that their life and job required of them. Unfortunately, after the screen-fast began, we started hearing from people who didn’t sign up because they thought no exceptions were allowed. Shucks. I wish we’d managed to be louder about the possibility of exceptions, since we wanted to give everyone every reason to participate. For many this was more about turning away from social media than screens. Some listened to podcasts instead of watching videos, even if that meant they were using their phone. Exceptions maybe, but good ones. So, come next time, your screen-fast could like this: “We didn’t do any internet browsing (I searched for recipe inspiration via books!), or anything that could become a time waster/rabbit hole. We did have to order some needed items that came up (quick order and done), checked email once day in case there was committee work that needed attention (unlikely but possible this time of year). I spent more time in real books (loved that!) and no browsing/scrolling in bed before lights out (probably my favorite part), and used messaging as needed for necessary communication (though for extended chats, phone calls happened too, more than usual). I didn’t open Facebook or Instagram (my biggest time wasters) at all. My husband didn’t open Facebook Marketplace or Varagesale (his scrolling vices).” Some also thought the “the ‘rules’ were vague, and left too much for interpretation so creating an excuse...was easy at times.” Good point – the exceptions might allow some of us more flexibility than we should take. For example, I fully planned for my family to go just 9 days, because part way through the fast we had a 5-hour plane flight. I thought that would be too long to be stuck in one seat without a video to pass the time. But my wife encouraged the kids to read, play card games, chat, and watch the scenery out the window, and they all did just fine. It was wonderful that we didn’t just wimp out. Here’s how some fasters used creativity and determination to keep their screen usage to an absolute minimum. “Went camping with the family…..Had to get out our old GPS to find where we had to go. Left the phone home.” “Early on the kids kept coming up with reasons to go online – a recipe they needed, some piece of music they wanted to play, and we got a little Pharisaic, letting them ask their neighbor friend to help download whatever. It still meant that, instead of turning to a screen, they had to interact with a friend.” “I did take the opportunity to sift through some of my parents CD collections and listen to music that way…” “We found it very helpful to become aware of our instant gratification culture in the family. Suddenly Amazon shopping was off the table and if somebody needed something they had to wait until we went to town.” “The hardest thing for my wife and I is that about twice a week we would watch a show in the evening together. Otherwise, I found it freeing but not super difficult.” “I was in kitchen and realized I was missing an ingredient for dinner. Usually, I would just grab my phone and Google substitutes or a recipe for what I'm missing. During my screen-fast I had to thumb through a cookbook, or just wing it.” “…we had a 4-hour drive during the challenge where they would normally get a tablet to watch shows. Instead, we picked out a couple fun fidgets, coloring books and new crayons, and I read them a chapter book. On the way home… even though the 10 days were past, the kids didn't ask for a tablet once!? So how hard is too hard? When it’s so hard you don’t think it’s possible to do it. When is it too easy? Maybe it’s like weight training – if you don’t strain, what’s the gain?...

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Theology

Practicing the Sabbath: on living out the 4th Commandment

It is not uncommon. Under pressure at the office or on the job, at school or right at home, vacation can’t come soon enough. “Ah,” we console ourselves, “Three weeks away from it all, filled with hiking, camping, touring, biking, sailing, and maybe even a trip to Disneyland itself.” When it finally arrives, we throw ourselves into our leisure, making the most of every moment, wringing every last drop of excitement out of our all too brief respite from the drag of our daily grind…and come home plumb worn out. We go back to working, lamenting the brevity of our respite, grudgingly facing the unwelcome demands of the job once more, trapped into knowing we have no other choice: it’s the only way to keep the wolf from the door. Whatever happened to real, solid rest, the kind that refreshes our spirits so deeply it reinvigorates us all the way down to the very depths of our beings, or, as Psalm 23 would describe it, “restores our souls”? Vacation is not enough What happened is that we confused rest with respite, as if a 30-second timeout in the fourth quarter makes athletes as full of energy as when the game began. A vacation is merely a respite (which we all need, just like a good night’s sleep); it’s far from the kind of deep rest the Bible calls a “Sabbath.” Vacations don’t cut it; real Sabbaths do. No wonder our Father commanded that we practice Sabbath every week and he used plenty of words to insist upon it. Have you ever noticed that in the NIV, the Exodus 20 version of the 4th commandment is 99 words long? The final five commandments, altogether, take up just 53 words. God has almost twice as much to say about remembering the Sabbath day than He does about murder, theft, adultery, lying, or coveting combined, suggesting to us that one of the most powerful defenses against immorality of all kinds is (did this ever occur to you?) a soul saturated to the full with God’s kind of deep rest. And then, as if to give it even more firepower, would you observe that it’s the only commandment which reinforces its demand by insisting that we face up to the compelling reality that this is what God Himself did, as if to both warn us that we best follow our Creator if we know what’s good for us, and besides, call us to humble ourselves enough to learn just how to do it from His example. If you came home tired from vacation, or, more seriously, if you sense a weariness in your soul so deep that not even a full night of sleep (induced by medication), or a day of surviving demands (eased by your regular dose of Xanax) gives you the kind of relief you crave, perhaps it’s time to seriously reconsider practicing Sabbath as devoutly as you practice your fitness routine. In other words, have you ever considered fitting, into the rhythm of your week, a 24-hour period where you stop living as a human “doing” and actually enjoy living as a human “being”? If you’re even slightly curious enough to keep reading, then let me be audacious enough to prescribe for you the pathway to deep rest: watch how God rested, and then, go and do thou likewise. The commandment makes it as simple as imitating God. Of course, where it gets complicated is trying to figure out just how God did it. But He has not left us without a description: He finished his work: “Thus the heavens and the earth were completed in all their vast array. By the seventh day God had finished the work He had been doing (Gen. 2:1-2a). He savored the goodness of his workmanship: “God saw all that He had made, and it was very good (Gen. 1: 31). He ceased from all working: “…so on the seventh day He rested (NIV footnote: “ceased”) from all His work. …because on it He rested (NIV footnote: “ceased”) from all the work of creating He had done (Gen. 2:2b, 3b). Each dimension deserves such careful scrutiny, we’ll ponder them one at a time. Finished work God entered into his Sabbath by first having completely finished the work he set out to do during his “work week.” If we are to enter into deep rest, we simply must get our work done first. The commandment is firm on this: Six days you shall labor and do all your work. Finish your homework, your housework, or your assignments at the office. If you have work that was supposed to have been finished during your six days of labor, and could have been finished, but wasn’t due to your own procrastination, I can virtually guarantee this: that undone work is going to infect any rest you try to find on your “day off.” It will weigh on you. It will preoccupy you. You’re compromised! Now I can just hear it already: “My work is never done.” A mother’s work is never done. A farmer’s work is never done. A teacher’s work is never done. True enough, but then God’s work is never done either. Jesus said that his father was always at his work to that very day (John 5:17). But, what was finished was the work of creating. That was completed. True enough: much remained to be done in this creation. There was no pizza or lasagna. Nobody had written poetry yet, and the only music came from birds because there were no violins. There was so much yet to do, which we call culture. But the work of creation itself was fully completed. Every day has its task; every week, its duties; every meeting, its agenda. You want to know what really kills our rest? Work that should have been finished, and could have been finished, but isn’t finished. Unfinished assignments absolutely bar the way into joyful rest. So, be like your Father. Do it. Get ‘er done, even if you have to work extra hard as your particular work week approaches its final day or hours. Nothing relaxes us more than being able to look back upon a truly finished task, be it anything from a reading assignment, having made the required number of sales calls, or having done our rounds in the hospital. The finest picture of such profound rest in Scripture is the utterly still body of the One who had just said, “It is finished” lying quietly and calmly in a borrowed grave even while His spirit savored the joys of Paradise. Imagine the depth of His holy rest having fully drunk the cup of God’s wrath to the very last drop! Can there be any rest deeper than that? The wonderfully good news of the gospel is that, through Jesus, we are called and welcomed to enter into and savor that finished work. There is no richer Sabbath. Savoring accomplished work When He finished creating, God savored his accomplishment. Scripture puts it like this: “God saw all that He had made, and it was very good” (Gen. 1: 31). That is how He entered into His rest. Now that is something most of us moderns hardly take the time to do. Look back? Savor what you’ve done? Who has time for that? Who even thinks of that? Especially on our days off! We’re just glad to be away from the scene of the grind. I recall a breakfast I had with a friend, a highly paid professional in a tough line of work: lawyering! His iPhone lay next to his plate. His eyes darted toward it frequently as we munched on our muffins. I could tell he was preoccupied. I asked him, “Don’t you ever give yourself a break from that thing?” “I can’t,” he said; “in fact, I can’t afford to.” “When do you ever rest?” I probed. “Well,” he said, “I try to rest on the weekends but….” I waited. “But what?” Then he opened a glimpse into his uptight world I’ve never forgotten. “I never get a full weekend of rest because already on Sunday afternoons, right around 3, every week, it starts,” he continued. “What?” I asked. “This tightness in my gut; I can just feel the pressure rising. The stuff waiting for me in my office on Monday morning starts forcing its way into my mind, and from that point on, I’m toast. I can forget about getting any more rest.” “In other words,” I gently teased, “you actually show up at the office about 17 hours before your body gets there?” “You’re not kidding!!” he moaned. I suspect my friend has plenty of company. Our driven hearts are forever pushing us forward, even to the point that we are so focused on what lies ahead, Monday pushes itself up into our Sundays, as unbidden as acid reflux, and as sour. Not so the Trinity! As God entered into His rest, this is the exercise He went through at the end of the sixth day: He looked backward. He surveyed his workmanship. He paused to delight over it. He admired the beauty of Eve, marveled at the masculinity of Adam. He saw all with His all seeing eye and rejoiced over every one of His works. That’s the exercise God Himself went through as He entered his rest. He studied what He had done, and celebrated it. In fact, He ended every day savoring what He had done on that particular day, but at the end of the sixth day, He savored the whole panorama of His creativity, from the light He created the first day to the light-clothed humans He created on the sixth, and He rejoiced over all his works (Psalm 104: 31). A second key to entering a place of deep rest calls us to imitate God and look back, savoring all that He enabled us to do during the previous six days. The doctor looks back in her imagination upon the faces of the patients she has treated. The waitress, the customers she has served. The trucker, the loads he delivered. The teacher, the lessons his students learned. Looking back moves the soul from anxiety to celebration as it disciplines itself to survey the beauty of a steady stream of accomplishments, each a trophy to the God who was right there empowering us every step of the way. That simple exercise has immense power to lay a soul down into deep rest by stiff-arming the intrusions of future “undones” as it relishes the joys of past “dones.” For what the soul is doing at such moment is supercharging itself with wonder and gratitude at the remarkable faithfulness of God who was right there with us during every moment of those six days past, assuring it that so much went well, once again. I wonder if my neighbors just might think I’m nuts. Like all good Lyndenites, I edge, trim and mow my lawn faithfully every Saturday. It’s a rite around here. When finished, I stow my equipment and then do something which, if they are watching, might suggest to them I’m a little “off.” I take a good ten minutes and just walk around my lawn, and yes, frankly, I admire what I and my equipment have just achieved! I marvel at the sharp edges around the flowerbeds and savor the smells of newly mown turf. Odd? No. Like God? Yes. Now God did something there that is crucial to being able to rest. He affirmed his work as valuable; He gave it worth. He savored its beauty. He celebrated His accomplishment. The three persons of the Trinity rejoiced in what They had made, rejoiced in Their workmanship. They stopped, turned around (unlike the other six days which were all forward looking, this was backward looking; from all the undone work ahead to the finished work behind), looked back, and They delighted in Their finished work. Do you ever do that at the end of your work week? Your day of rest begins by looking back. Let’s say you deliver and pick up mail. Do you ever think back to all the people you serve every week by bringing them their mail? Think of the hundreds of people who every week find something in their mailbox they have just been waiting for – and you brought it to them. Now that is something to savor, to celebrate. Most of us try not to think about our work on our day off. Not God. God entered his Sabbath by ruminating, savoring, delighting in what he had just done. One of the key elements of deep rest is savoring a sense of accomplishment. This is what shelters us from the tyranny of future tasks charging in and infecting our rest. You rest when you learn to resist this “Oh, there is so much I have yet to do” (which is very true for all of us) to “But look at what we have managed to accomplish.” We are so driven by the demands of the future that we have forgotten to pause and take delight in the regular accumulation of the accomplishments of our lives. Ceasing from all work There is a third Sabbath practice to consider, but be forewarned: you may not like this. In fact, you may think I’m just being a fussy old legalist. We cannot truly Sabbath, unless every 7th day we totally cease, as much as is reasonably possible, our daily work for 24 hours and refuse to come anywhere near it. We don’t even check our phones for work-related text messages. Why? Because of the explicit prohibition in the commandment itself: “On it you shall not do any work.” Worship? Yes! Play? Sure. Work? None. Zilch. Nada. When deadlines, demands, homework and duties bear down on us relentlessly this may seem hard. Who can afford this, especially in today’s highly competitive, low profit margin, economy? Close up shop, one day a week? Ridiculous. Students stay away from studies a full day in every seven? Sure way to flunk out! Really? Are you so sure it’s ridiculous? Have you checked that with conservative Southern Baptist Truett Cathy, who, from the beginning in 1946 insisted that his fast food Chick-fil-A restaurants be closed every Sunday? Today there are over 2,200 of them, and they are flourishing. In 2014 the chain was #9 in total profit among all fast food restaurants, but #1, by far, in profitability per store. Each store earned $3.2 million vs. second place McDonalds at $2.6 million. They have been #1 in customer service for years. Rested and cared for employees are much more industrious and compassionate, and the result is customer loyalty that creates long lines in the drive-in lane and tidy profits at the bank. And they are closed everywhere, every Sunday. But perhaps that’s not convincing. Then consider this remarkable story. My town of Lynden, Washington has a mother, Phoebe Judson, who founded our city, arriving here in 1871. She promoted Sunday closure. Here’s why. In May, 1853, Phoebe and her husband Holden joined a covered wagon train near Kansas City hoping to reach Washington Territory by mid-October, a distance of more than 2,000 miles over the rough Oregon Trail. Like all wagon trains, they elected a captain. His word was the law. Well, they chose Rev. Gustavus Hines, only to be surprised one Saturday night when he announced the train would never travel on Sundays. Phoebe was shocked. They had half a continent to cross, at oxen pace (15-20 miles per day on a good trail), with at least four mountain passes and innumerable river crossings ahead of them. She sat in her wagon and just fumed. One family deserted the train and joined another. On their first Sunday, while they stood still, one train after another passed them by. But, being the daughter of a minister herself, Phoebe felt they had no choice but to honor their captain’s scruples. They started out again on Monday, bright and early, only to reach their first river cross on Tuesday evening. A long line of wagons stretched out ahead of them, waiting for the single “ferry” to carry them across. They waited 3 days. On Saturday they resumed the journey, only to be told they would still rest the whole next day. Phoebe was livid. This made absolutely no sense to her. Still, the minister’s daughter obeyed. Then, a few weeks later she began to see scores of dead oxen, mules and horses along the trail. They had been driven so relentlessly, they had collapse and died. She grudgingly admitted that perhaps the animals needed a day of rest. A few weeks later, she ruefully admitted that maybe the men needed it too, since they walked most of the time. Then she slowly began to notice that as they worshipped, ate, rested and even played together on Sundays, it had a remarkably salutary effect upon people’s spirits. There was less grumbling, more cooperation. She even noticed that they seemed to make better time the other six days. Finally, what totally sold her on the value of the Sabbath happened one Sunday evening: the family that had deserted them came limping into their campsite, humbly asking to rejoin them. She had assumed they were at least a week ahead; in fact, they had fallen behind. Their own wagon train had broken down! Of course they welcomed them back. And so it happened that they reached their destination in plenty of time, as friends, and out of the 50 head of cattle with which they began, only two were lost. Conclusion May I be so bold as to caution us about spiritualizing the meaning of the Sabbath commandment so much that we forget its literal and physical side? Bodily stepping entirely away from all work for 24 hours is clearly what is prescribed. Its benefits are enormous. For one day, it moves us from life as a “human doing” to life as a “human being.” For one day, it compels us to recalibrate our hearts back to the stubborn fact that “…God is the only source of everything good, and that neither our work and worry nor His gifts can do us any good without His blessing” (L.D. 50, Q&A 125). For one day it allows our souls to catch up with our bodies, or vice versa! For one day it arrests our drive for profits by reminding us that our real wealth is not in what we have but in whom we love and in who loves us. For one day it slows us down enough to ease our anxiety over reaching our destination to actually enjoy the journey. And for one day it brings us back to that Light, in Whose Light, we see the light which brightens every day. Rev. Ken Koeman is a retired pastor living in the quite restful town of Lynden, WA. A version of this article first appeared in Christian Courier and is reprinted with permission. It was first printed in RP in February 2018....

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News

Saturday Selections – Aug. 23, 2025

Distinguishing between Soft and Hard Christian Nationalism Because certain Reformed folk support a form of Christian Nationalism, others will be strongly against it... but what exactly is the it they are against? After all, as John Stonestreet notes in the video below, the term has a broad variety of definitions. If we were to let the Left define the term, you might hear them equate any Christian political involvement as being an attempt to bring in a theocracy that would require everyone to make the choice to either go to church or go to jail. Thinks that's an oversimplification? Just remember the women who came out to protest Canadian Reformed politician Sam Oosterhoff while wearing the red outfits from Margaret Atwood's The Handmaid's Tale. That book and TV series is based on a future "Christian" dystopian theocracy that perpetuates ritual rape. And what did Sam Oosterhoff do to deserve such a malicious, ridiculous protest? He's a professing Christian, and he's in politics. That's just like Atwood's dystopia, so they say. So, before you say you aren't a Christian Nationalist, you'll want to ask what definition is being used. If all that's meant is Christians acknowledging God is sovereign over the political realm too, do you want to side against that? (John Stonestreet also moderated a 90-minute debate on Christian Nationalism here.) Economic nationalism is a dead end Some Christians who reject any sort of "Christian nationalism" will rally around the notion of a Canada-first "economic nationalism." But why would nationalism be good so long as it is economically, and not religiously, motivated? I don't know the answer to that question. The linked article isn't Christian, but highlights how any sort of economic nationalism – Liberal- or Conservative-run – presupposes that whoever the Prime Minister will be, he will know better than you as a consumer what products you should buy, for what prices, and from whom. That's what tariffs, supply management, and business subsidies are about. Any sort of economic nationalism also presumes that whoever our PM will be, he will know better than you as a producer whether your business should be taxed, or whether you can be one of the lucky companies to be gifted taxpayer dollars. But history shows that top-down management of a country's economy doesn't work because no one is smart enough to know best for everyone else what they want and need. History has shown it, so this columnist didn't have to make an explicitly Christian argument to counter economic nationalism. But we didn't have to wait for the Soviet Union to fall, and for China to struggle, or for Canada to go through its own socialist doldrums to know better already. Any sort of biblical understanding of Man's fallen nature, our susceptibility to temptation, and our fallibility would have made the point already, long before we would have had to endure the painful consequences that always come with economic arrogance. That, then, is a reason not simply to reject economic nationalism, but to stop being shy about sharing God's truth. We can save our neighbors pain, both eternally and here in this life as well by sharing the truth about Man and his limitations. We do need a supreme intellect to lead us, but that will only be found in our God, not our government. Why it’s important to read bad books about bad ideas "A meme on social media quotes my colleague Glenn Sunshine as saying, 'If I had a gun with two bullets, and I was in a room with Hitler, bin Laden, and Jean Jacques Rousseau, I’d shoot Rousseau twice!' Glenn insists he never said that, but then quietly admits he wishes he had." Killing for organs - who could possibly object? When murder becomes medicine – when euthanasia is legal – then it's inevitable that the line is going to be pushed on when someone is "dead enough" for organ donation. When doctors don't think life is sacred, then what worry is there, really, if someone in a bad state has their life ended a little prematurely? The slippery slope is no fallacy when the world can't find any brakes to stop the slide. The only answer is a complete return to understanding that our lives are gifts from God, and thus not ours to dispose of as we might wish. Why Christians shouldn't use IVF "...IVF kills twice as many babies as abortion. there are a million babies aborted every year, but IVF kills almost 2 million babies a year." Jimmy Clifton's "Proof of God" An intriguing anti-evolution, pro-life song... ...

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Being the Church

Laughter in the pews

My mother has a wise saying, one of many I might add, that if you go to church faithfully, you'll experience lots of interesting things. And she wasn't even talking about the sermons. She was referring to those unexpected events during the church service, things that shock or surprise us, or may even move us to fits of giggles or tears of laughter. I suppose each of us will have a favorite story to tell. And for some reason, things seem excruciatingly funny just when we're trying to be the most solemn. The smart shopper This tale happened on a Sunday morning late one January. The matronly Mrs. de Member (not her real name) sailed confidently up the aisle with a row of children in tow. This was a normal weekly occurrence. However, this Sunday the confidence was sadly misplaced. Mrs. de Member, no doubt in the busyness of getting half a dozen children church-ready, had forgotten to do a final check on herself. Perhaps her husband had already tooted firmly on the Suburban's horn, to remind his family that it really was time to go. After all, he did not want to be the last one in the consistory room, again. The brothers were not always gentle in their ribbing. Yes, if Mrs. de Member had done that final mirror check, she certainly would have noticed the sales tag that was now flapping and twirling from the back collar of her brand new winter coat. The offending stub informed all the curious that Mrs. de Member was a most frugal shopper. Apparently, she had waited until the price had been reduced, not once, not twice, but three times to less than fifty percent of the original! As she and her family settled into their pew, a couple of irreverent young rascals in the bench behind her snickered. Their mother signaled vigorously to shush them. Of course, no one was brave enough to draw Mrs. de Member's attention to the advertisement, and certainly no one had thought to bring a pair of scissors, to perhaps unobtrusively snip off the wayward tag. By the end of the service, everyone within reading distance knew the price down to the penny, including GST. Mrs. de Member was not in church in the afternoon. One of the little ones had apparently developed a bad cold over the lunch hour. Alone in the pews Church attendance with one's unpredictable progeny can be a challenging, and often humbling experience. Training the young ones to sit still and listen takes weeks even months. With some more recalcitrant offspring, years. (Some never learn, but move effortlessly from embarrassing their long-suffering parents to annoying the vigilant elders, who keep a hawk's eye on the socializing teens on the balcony.) In any event, the Sunday eventually arrives when a young Dad and Mom, let's call them Jim and Jenny, feel confident enough to attend the Lord's Supper, together. After having sternly warned their young ones to behave and having left a generous supply of peppermints with the eldest to be doled out at the appropriate moment, Jim and Jenny march resolutely up the aisle to the table. The minister greets them with a smile, and they take their seats, facing him. The minister speaks, the participants listen, the bread is passed, participants chew gently and swallow unobtrusively. All is quiet in the pews. The minister speaks once more, lifts the silver carafe high and the sparkling red liquid pours in a glittering stream into one of four silver goblets. He speaks the familiar words. He passes a goblet to his right, then one to his left. At that precise moment, a shrill little voice pierces the stillness. "Amy, give me a peppermint! Mommy said we could have a peppermint when the minister poured the wine!" A titter of barely suppressed laughter ripples through the pews. Here and there a Mom and Dad give each other a knowing wink and a sympathetic nudge. Remember what it was like? Jenny rubs her nose nervously, as a red flush creeps slowly up her neck and suffuses her face. Jim rummages in his trouser pockets, retrieves a pristine white handkerchief, and surreptitiously wipes his unexpectedly perspiring brow. How did it get so hot in here, all of a sudden? Thankfully, no further audible altercations ensue. Amy must have doled out the peppermints according to plan. The wine goblet, dutifully sipped from by all, has made its way around the table, and been returned to its place in front of the minister. All are attentive to the brief meditation. The organ begins the strains of a familiar psalm. The congregation joins in. The music fades, wafting gently upward to the rafters. The minister stands and nods. The participants rise and turn toward their pews. Jim and Jenny come down the aisle, eyes averted, shoulders rigid. Quickly they find their seats. And then again that high-pitched, persistent voice. "Mommy, Amy didn't give us any peppermints, but I said she had to, 'cause you told her to." "I know dear," Jenny whispers, placing her fore finger firmly over little Jimmy's lips. "Sh-h-h! You can tell me about it later." Congregational lore Two stories. There are many more. There was the time the minister lifted the lid off the baptismal font, only to find there was no water. Or the time when there was not enough wine to go around. Or the time the minister almost forgot to serve the wine. There was the time when an elder hauled his misbehaving daughter up front to sit in the elders' bench with him. The poor minister was so taken aback, he attempted a few more sentences, and then pronounced a speedy "Amen." Grandmas have fainted. Children and even an elder reading the sermon have vomited up their breakfast and whatever else they might have eaten before church. Collection bags have been dropped; coins and candies have rolled down the aisles. Birds and bees have flown in through open windows. Conversations from consistory rooms have been overheard by whole congregations, via the minister's microphone. Bibles have dropped from balconies on unsuspecting members seated below. And the best stories become part of congregational lore. They become part of our identity and shared experience. And in a strange way, they help us to love each other better. This article was first published is May 2000....

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