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Theology

Real Talk: Sunday – rest or rules?

This episode can also be found on your favorite podcast platform: Spotify, Apple, Podbean, Amazon Music or on our website. Be sure to subscribe to our YouTube channel and our podcast profiles so you can be notified when new episodes are released. Please note that this transcript below was automatically generated and lightly edited so it may contain some errors.

*****

Opening
The Sabbath is one of the most talked about and often misunderstood topics in Christian life. Some see it as an Old Testament practice that no longer applies today, while others focus just mainly on the rules. But what if the Sabbath is much more than that? In this episode, we're joined by Reverend Peter Holtvluwer, author of Foundations, a devotional on Genesis 1-3, and we'll explore the Sabbath from creation to Christ and beyond. Why did God give us a day of rest? How does the Sabbath point us to the rest that we have in Christ? Why do Christians worship on Sunday instead of Saturday? And what should the Lord's Day look like today? We'll look at why the Sabbath begins in creation and why that foundation matters. We'll also discuss practical questions about worship, two church services, Sunday activities, and how to avoid the extremes of legalism or treating Sunday like any other day. This episode is brought to you by ARPA Canada's Foundations Conference. When a nation replaces God with man, foundations crumble. What comes next? Register at arpacanada.ca.

Intro
The world's changing fast, but what questions should we really be asking? You're listening to Real Talk, a podcast presented by Reformed Perspective, where we take God's word and apply it to the nitty gritty of life. Buckle up for real questions, real answers, and real direction. This is Real Talk.

Lucas Holtvlüwer
Well, Dad, thanks for joining me back here on the Real Talk podcast. Good to have you back for a third time. So, joining a short list of third-time repeat guests, but glad to have you. So today we're going to be talking about Foundations, talking about Genesis one through three, and then with a specific focus on the Lord's Day and its rootedness in creation and how that kind of plays forth in our practices today, and also look at maybe some church history in that regard as well. So you've written a book of meditations on those first three chapters of Genesis. So do you want to just tell us a little bit about what kind of drew you to this new project, this new opportunity, this new book? Kind of some of the questions or issues you're seeing as a pastor in your work over the years, and kind of how you arrived at hey, I think this is the time to put this work out, and what are you what are you hoping to do with this kind of project?

Peter Holtvlüwer
Yeah, so already more than 20 years ago, I preached on Genesis 1, 2, and 3, and a couple of elders back in the day, tapped me on the shoulder and said, "You know what? It would be good to put that into writing for people to pick it up and read it further and study on study it further.” So after some hesitation, I did that. I just published them as sermons way back at least 16 years ago or so, and they served a good purpose, I think, in its in their time. I've since repreached those sermons, and then I heard from various people that they would prefer to have that material in meditation format rather than a sermon format. They felt it was easier to read, so I repreached it, I refreshed the whole series, and I added a couple of sermons to it, and then indeed I basically broke up those sermons into smaller meditations and made them chapters in what's now book Foundations. And why did I even revisit these chapters and why do I think the material is still, you know, useful for people? Well, those three first three chapters of the Bible, they really truly are foundational. Like I called the book Foundations. I really couldn't think of a better term, a better title to describe. There's so many subjects that were introduced to God, ourselves, humanity, our purpose on the earth, what we're what we're meant to do with our daily lives. What is work all about? A topic like the Sabbath day, the day of rest, is in there as well. Then you can think of marriage. You can think of the fall into sin. You can think too of how the Lord and His grace rescued us from our rebellion. And there's other topics that are sprinkled in there, and in the intervening time between the first series of sermons that I preached on it and the more recent series, you know crazy things happened in the world like transgenderism and the rise of homosexuality. Like homosexuality was on the rise when I first preached it, but it just went bananas in the 2010s and transgenderism really became mainstream in the in the mid 20 teens and still is mainstream so I thought yeah more than ever we need as God's people solid a solid understanding of the these foundational teachings in that God. Us in these early chapters, we're made male and female. We're made in the image of God. These things have weight and they have import and meaning, not just for the original readers of the Bible, but for all of mankind, all of history. So we really need to be well founded on these foundational elements, these foundational teachings. So yeah, that's why I have the book, the Lord willing will be coming out this summer. In fact, Reformed Book Services, where we are recording here today, they're going to have a presale, they told me today. So anybody interested in foundations can check out Reformed Book Services for their presale of Foundations.

LH
Awesome. So when you were writing this back in the day, 16 years ago or whatnot, was it more like evolution was more kind of the issue of the day, so to speak, that let's say younger people were kind of struggling with as they kind of were working out their faith and making it their own growing up in the church, especially.

PH
Yeah, that was a… it was a very hot topic in our reformed Canadian Reformed, United Reformed churches somewhere around 2010ish. There were debates in our Clarion magazine around that time on theistic evolution. So that those topics I think are still there. I think some people still are attracted to theistic evolution, but this book does deal with that. And I just walk through the what the Bible teaches in Genesis 1 and compare it to what evolution teaches and what theistic evolution teaches, and then come with the conclusion that yeah, those other teachings are wanting.

LH
Yep, yep. It does seem like the devil always goes after like these foundational type of truths as well with these lies to get us that seem easy to believe, but then if you don't examine the root of it, can really twist up your perspective and lead to a negative outcome that way.

PH
Yeah, I think so. Like if I were the devil, I would probably want to go after some of these very root issues, like mess up marriage…

LH
Or men and women…

PH
Mess up gender, mess up the family, which is all taught in Genesis 1, 2, and 3. Mess any of those up, and you're messing up a lot of society for a long period of time, and messing up in the sense of drawing them away from following Jesus Christ to following the work of the devil.

LH
Yeah. Now you mentioned all those issues, and we can kind of all see that. Yeah, those are obviously foundational issues. It makes sense that if you were to mess with the structure of that, you were going to have negative consequences, simple consequences, and that's not going to go well, but if I think about our context today and the issue of Sunday or the Sabbath, I think a lot of people, even like in our reformed circles, would see that as, yeah, that might be important or that that might be a historical tradition of how we kind of act on the Sunday, but maybe that doesn't seem as foundational or as important as you know, men are men, women are women, the importance of the family and the importance of marriage. Like those are a lot easier to rally people around and defend those basic foundational truths. But I do think the Sunday and how we treat the Sabbath or the Sunday is less well thought of or less seems less important in our current cultural lens. And I kind of wonder why that is maybe, and do you think that's because people don't understand its rootedness in creation? Maybe kind of take us through that point a little bit of like how do you how do you believe that the Bible shows us that this is rooted in creation rather than something that was just more of an Old Testament command?

PH
So to answer your basic question, I do think yes. A part of the problem, big part of the problem, is that many folks do not relate the Lord's Day or Sunday observance or Sabbath observance to creation. I think that's a fundamental disconnect. They just they just haven't seen that connection, or they haven't thought about it. If they think about Sunday in terms of any kind of Old Testament connection, then they think of the Sabbath as we have it in the Laws of Moses, and then there are a lot of people who think that the Sabbath was a Jewish thing, just invented or not invented, but given by God at Mount Sinai, and incorporated into the 10 Commandments, yes, but actually, it's all just temporary shadows. And when Jesus Christ came and died and rose from the dead, all those shadows are gone. That we don't have to honor them or obey them anymore. They're not to be. In fact, they should not be used. Some people are quite strong that way, and so you have outside of the Reformed and Presbyterian churches, most I'll just say many Protestant folks are not teaching that the Sunday is a binding day of rest. They don't see it rooted in creation. Historically, the Reformed and Presbyterian have, but even there, there's been a weakening in certain circles about the value of the Lord's Day, Sunday, as a creation ordinance, and not everybody is like I like I said, that's where the breakdown is. They're not seeing the connect, and therefore they're not seeing the always the importance of having a day set apart, one day in seven, to worship God and to rest from your labor. So, yeah, we can go into Genesis 1 a little bit…

LH
Yeah sure, yeah. How clear is it then in Genesis 1? Because it does seem like if you look at the landscape of Christianity today, that you know there are people of sincere faith, even sincere reformed faith, as you mentioned, who would differ on how the principles of the Sabbath or the Sunday play out today. So maybe walk us through a little bit, I guess, how you see it rooted in creation there in Genesis.

PH
Yes. So I'm just going to get my Bible.

LH
Yeah, for sure.

PH
In Genesis, it's actually the beginning of Genesis 2 is where we have the reference to the day of rest. I think some of the problem comes in where in the fact that the name Sabbath or the word Sabbath does not occur in Genesis 2, it occurs for the first time in the book of Exodus, right? First Exodus 16, and then later in the 10 Commandments, but here in Genesis 1, the Lord says, "Thus the heavens, sorry, this is Genesis 2:1. Thus the heavens and the earth were finished, and all the host of them. And on the seventh day God finished His work that He had done, and He rested on the seventh day from all His work that he had done, so God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it God rested from all his work that he had done in creation. So, is this the Sabbath day that later is incorporated into the 10 Commandments? That's sort of the fundamental issue. There are people, scholars, who say no, this is not the Sabbath day because the word Sabbath doesn't occur, and it's something other. But I think if you look at those two verses, and think about what's being said there, it's not hard to see that the seventh day is made something special from all the other days of the week, this is actually the crowning work of God's creation. For six days, He creates, and then we have this announcement that His creation, His creating work, is finished. And God could have, if you just pause over that for a moment, God could have just left…

LH
Why does God need to rest?

PH
And He doesn't, right? We know that. So God could have left the week at six days. We could have just had a six-day work week and just one day after the other, we just work, work, work because we had already had the charge in Genesis 1 that we are to be fruitful and multiply, we are to subdue the earth, we are to exercise dominion over the animals, etc. But all of a sudden, after everything's created, we get this special designation, the creation of another day, and it's a day that about some things are some marvelous things are said. God blessed the seventh day, didn't bless any of the other six days, so that already marks it as something special. He made it holy. So please note that we're before the fall into sin.

LH
Yeah.

PH
Right? Something is called holy before the fall into sin. Something is set apart from all everything else before there's sin in the world, because “on it God rested from all His work”, His creating work. God was obviously still active on the Lord's day. We know that from John's Gospel. The Lord Jesus says in response to the Pharisees who accuse him of breaking the Sabbath. He says in John 5, "My Father is working until now, and so am I.”

LH
Yeah.

PH
So God's work of providence, God's work of caring for the world. If God didn't uphold the world every moment, it would literally fall apart. So God is always working, but God was not creating. So something special is going on here, and who is to keep the day holy if it is not the creature made in God's image? Right? I mean that's the implication. Day six, man's created. He's created special, made in the image of God, and then on the next day, day seven, God makes a day, makes it holy, because God rested from His work. Now, when you go to the fourth commandment, you tell me if we're not talking about the same day. When you read the fourth commandment in Exodus 20, “Remember the Sabbath day to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work.” Notice that word. “But the seventh day is a Sabbath to the Lord your God. On it you shall not do any work, you or your son or your daughter, your male servant or your female servant or your livestock or the sojourner who is within your gates. For..” – here it comes – “in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, the sea and all that is in them, and rested on the seventh day.” That’s exactly Genesis two. “Therefore, the Lord blessed the Sabbath day.” Now he gives it the name. So he has a very tight link between the seventh day and the Sabbath day, and then it finishes off, “and made it holy.” So right there in Exodus 20, fourth commandment, God Himself links the Sabbath day to the seventh day of creation, and in Genesis 2, you have the same things marked out there. It's a day of rest because God rested.

LH
Yep.

PH
It's a day to set aside our work because God set aside His work.

LH
Yep.

PH
So we are to imitate God, and if you think about the context of the, you know, going to the 10 Commandments for a moment, 10 Commandments are a summary of God's moral law. He etched them in stone. He put them inside the ark. He repeated them a second time, right in Deuteronomy 5, and we'll get to the Deuteronomy 5 difference, I'm sure. But so these are etched in stone. Why did God etch them in stone to indicate symbolically that these are His permanent will for God's people?

LH
Yep.

PH
Permanent will includes a day of rest, the Sabbath day. And if you think about the first four commandments, it makes perfect sense, right? First commandment: whom we are to worship, only worship God. Second commandment: How we are to worship, worship God according to my instructions, my word. Third commandment: Don't take the Lord's name in vain, which is another way of saying worship me with the right attitude. So it's all about worship. One, two, and three. Now we get to day four, or sorry, the fourth commandment, and it's about worship again. The time is commanded.

LH
Yeah, when...

PH
When to worship.

LH
Yeah.

PH
That corporate element of worship is to happen on the Lord's. Sorry, on the Sabbath day. I mean, if you think about the Lord of heaven and earth commanding His people to worship Him, he also must command the time. He must give them a day to worship. Otherwise, when would they do one, two, and three? When would they come and worship God? When would they come and worship according to His word? When would they come and worship Him with that appropriate attitude? Well, it has to be that the Lord gives a day. So this ties back to Genesis 2 very clearly, and I think it's I think it is biblical to say the Sabbath was established at creation. There is a day of rest from creation, and I want to just hook in here for a moment to Hebrews 4 because in Hebrews 4 there's reference made there to the eternal rest that's still coming, and Hebrews 4, let me just get the wording here, because sometimes we're wondering about what actually is said there and what this means. So the writer of Hebrews is making the point that there is a future day or time coming, he says. So then, this is verse nine, there remains a Sabbath rest for the people of God. For whoever has entered God's rest has also rested from his works, as he did from us. Let us therefore strive to enter that rest. So there's something future, right? What's he talking about there? That Sabbath rest that he's talking about is the new heavens and the new earth, where we will be fully at rest from our sin, where we will all the striving of this life that that is on account of sin and all the consequence of sin that will be behind us, and we will enter God's full rest. That doesn't mean inactivity. I think God's got other activity waiting for us, which He hasn't elaborated on yet. But there's a future rest coming, which I think is indicated in Genesis 2. If you just sort of pause for a moment and think, okay, well, why would why did God give a day of rest in a sinless world? This is before sin, right?

LH
Good question.

PH
So six days of work, seventh day was to be holy. Work was not onerous. Work was not slavish or difficult. Work would have been itself a joy. But God is saying there's more to life than the work I give you to do. There's a goal. You're working and then you rest. You you're working and then you rest, and your work, of course, will accumulate and it will build up. I mean, had we never fallen into sin, we would have presumably, under God's blessing, worked toward the goal that he had. Now he doesn't say it in so many words, but I think the implication is we would have worked toward that ultimate Sabbath rest, not Sabbath rest from sin because there was no sin, but Sabbath rest from the completion of whatever work we were given by God to do in this earth. So I think Genesis 2 is pointing in that direction, it doesn't lay it out in so many words, but Hebrews 4 picks up on that, and so the daily Sabbath, sorry, the weekly Sabbath day, the weekly day of rest, points forward to the great eternal Sabbath that God has in store for us. This is all outside of the shadows of the Mosaic Law. That's what I want to make a connection to.

LH
Yep, which is interesting too, because like, because it's for sin, the purpose of the rest is just it's purely just to worship and remind ourselves that we are here to glorify God as the chief purpose of man.

PH
You're Adam and Eve, you've been created on day six, the first day of your existence is this day. This holy day that God has declared holy. What are you going to do with that day? Of course, you're going to just spend it with your Creator. Yep, you're going to be in his company. You're going to fellowship with him. You're going to worship him. However, that looked like before the fall. We don't know exactly, but it certainly looked like fellowship. It certainly looked like being in the company of God. We know from Genesis 3:8 that the Lord would come into the garden in the cool of the day, and He would walk with His people. They recognize the sound of him coming into the garden. So this was a regular thing. That's a hint that in Genesis two, on the seventh day, God was with his people.

LH
Communes with his people.

PH
And isn't that the beauty of life? Isn't that why we're working? Doesn't that give meaning to labor?

LH
Yeah, indeed. So then, what would be the steel man or the strongest case for those who would say, "Well, yes, there is a day of rest, but that day of rest is not the Sabbath because is it only because the word is not used? Because the literal is it a translation debate, or is there more? What are the strongest points on the other side of things? Because obviously, if you can't make that connection, if that connection isn't as strong as you say, then there are a lot of other different consequences that follow from that presupposition.

PH
Yeah. So the strongest argument I've seen is that indeed the word Sabbath doesn't appear in Genesis 2. But like I mentioned, I don't find that a strong argument, really, because the word rest appears. The word "work" appears, and those two words, they appear frequently in those three verses I read, they reappear in the fourth commandment, Exodus 20, where God links the seventh day with the Sabbath day. So, to me, I don't understand how folks who say, "Well, the Sabbath day isn't there, Sabbath day is not mentioned that you can't call that the Sabbath.” I say, “well, look, you can you can call something by a different name and it's still that thing.” Later in Genesis two, Adam is given a partner. Eve, right? He's created alone, but later he's given a partner, a woman. The woman is brought to the man, and we read there at the end of chapter 2, “Therefore, a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” Now, does anybody doubt that he's referring to marriage? The word marriage is not there. The word wedding is not there, but the description of marriage is there. Same with Genesis 1, 2, and 3. Yep. So again, I just think the argument falls flat that oh the word Sabbath is not there then therefore it's not the Sabbath day.

LH
Yeah, and there's so many like you say the work and the rest. There's so many direct parallels that it makes sense that it would be the same thing that's being talked about there, and then also the permanence of the 10 Commandments and how those apply still to us today. Like no one, no one really debates the other nine. So there's just a straight continuity argument to be had there as well. Yeah. And those 10 Commandments were also applicable at the start of the world too. Like that was God's law, so it was true in creation, it was true at Sinai, and those are still true today. So just that's what always that's one of the things that gets me of just the continuity of it. It doesn't make a lot of sense if you yank out the fourth commandment.

PH
Right, I think that's a that's a very strong argument there. The other argument I can I have heard about why people don't think that why they think the Sabbath began at Mount Sinai is they say, well, we don't read about it in all of the rest of Genesis. So even if you just leave aside Genesis 2, there's no reference to the Sabbath day after Genesis being

LH
Being practiced amongst Abram.

PH
There’s no reference to it. And to that argument, I would say, well, you always have to be very careful with an argument from silence because you can't say one way or the other definitively was it there, was it not there, based on what you don't hear. Second to that, there are a number of times in the book of Genesis where a sequence of seven are important for the for the storyline. One of those, for example, is during the flood story. Seven days they were waiting in the in the ark before the rains fell. There's a I can't think of the others off the top of my head, but the number seven and the period of seven days without referencing the Sabbath, it's true. It's there. It's there in the background as a kind of an understood thing. The week is seven days, and the period is seven days is a is an important thing. And one more counter argument is in Exodus 16. So that's before they get to Mount Sinai. The Israelites are in the desert. Exodus 16, and the Lord gives them manna to feed them because they're running out of they don't have food in the desert, and then the Lord gives an instruction, but just kind of kind of comes out of the blue. I will give you.. you're not to go out and collect manna on the Sabbath.

LH
I'll give you twice as much.

PH
Right, the day before, I give you twice as much, but he just sort of drops the Sabbath name in the middle of their travels, as if they knew what it was. Like remember the Sabbath, and everyone's like, "Oh yeah, we get that.” So the implication is the Israelites, Moses, and the Israelites knew about this thing called the Sabbath. It came into a formal regulation in the 10 Commandments, but just like they knew the other commandments, they must have known that it was not right to kill. They must have known it was not right to steal. They must have known it was not right to dishonor authority. That, but the Lord articulated that in a formal covenant and put that in stone in order for them to have clarity about His will, and they could always refer to it. It's not as if these things are for the first time occurring at Mount Sinai.

LH
Got it. So now in Deuteronomy, when the law is repeated again, it's more so rooted in the redemption from Egypt. Now, why the change in focus there, and what implications does that have for the fourth commandment in this context,

PH
So indeed in Deuteronomy 5, it's the only commandment that gets two reasons when you compare the 10 Commandments in Exodus 20 and the 10 in Deuteronomy 5, the fourth commandment is the only one that's given a different reason the second time round, and let me just read that reason for you. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the Lord your God. On it you shall not do any work, you or your son or your daughter or your male servant or your female servant, your ox or your donkey or any of your livestock or the sojourner who is within your gate, that your male servant and your female servant may rest as well as you. You shall remember that you were slaves in the land of Egypt, and that the Lord your God brought you out from there with a mighty hand and an outstretched arm. Therefore, the Lord your God commanded you to keep the Sabbath day.” So the reason given here has to do with their redemption from Egypt, Exodus 20. Remember creation. Deuteronomy 5. Remember your recreation, where God saved you from slavery to sin, or sorry, slavery to Pharaoh. And both of these are precursors to what the Lord Jesus would do for us. Now, before I get to the Lord Jesus, let me just back up a moment to Leviticus 25, if I if I may, because there's a tie-in between Leviticus 25 and Deuteronomy 5 with respect to Sabbath. In Leviticus 25, you have the Lord commanding His people to have a, not a Sabbath day, but a Sabbath year. Every seventh year, they were to let the land lie fallow, and the land was to have rest for a whole year. And God would so bless them in the sixth year that the seventh year would they could eat off the food from the sixth year, and they could they could have a whole year of rest from their labor. I mean, think about that. That's truly where the word sabbatical comes from-a whole year off of your labor. So that was actually a beautiful gift for the people. And then in that Exodus, Leviticus 25, the Lord goes on to speak about the year of jubilee. So after seven time, the seventh sabbatical year, or the Sabbath year, so that'd be the 49th year. That would be a regular Sabbath year. They were to have a special year of rest, the 50th year, which God called the Jubilee, announced by the blowing of the horn, the ram's horn on the Day of Atonement. What was special about this day? Well, again, they were to have a, they were not to work; they were to live off the produce of the land from now two seasons earlier, the 48th year, and the people were to be set free from slavery if they had been enslaved to one another, and if they had had to sell their land. Because when they got into the land of Canaan, everyone had a parcel of land. Every family had their own property. Well, in the year of Jubilee, they were given their land back. This is called the Sabbath year, like it's the Sabbath of Sabbaths.

LH
Yep.

PH
Okay? So the Sabbath year, you have to remember, like before we even get to the to the New Testament, in the Old Testament context. Before we get to the Pharisees or anything else, the Sabbath was a blessing. Like for Adam and Eve, blessing even in a sinless world, they could they were communing with their God. What more fuller joy could they have than to make that day holy and walk with their God? Right. So it's a good thing, the Sabbath. Then, after the fall into sin, we believe it's still there in Genesis. It's not talked about in Genesis, but it's there in the background. We don't exactly know how it functioned in Abraham's life. We have to admit that, but certainly it comes to the surface in the laws of Moses. And let me add that when God gives it to the people of Israel, certainly, He adds significance to it. Okay, like shadows that do point to Christ, and that when Christ arrives, the shadow element of the Sabbath falls away. We'll talk about that in a moment. But I just want to emphasize that the celebration of the Sabbath was indeed a joyful thing. It was a celebration. Like every seventh day, they got to rest from their labors. Every seventh day they could put down their back-breaking work. Every seventh day they could go to the tabernacle and have a holy consecration. Says Leviticus 23. There would be a meeting at the at the tabernacle, and they were to remember their freedom. That's the fourth commandment in Deuteronomy 5, and the Jubilee really highlights that God sets His people free from enslavement to Pharaoh, to any oppressive enemy, and now when you fast forward to what the Lord Jesus did, He sets us free from Satan, from sin, from the wages of sin, death. So it makes perfect sense that the Lord Jesus love would love the Sabbath day, and if you look at what He does in the Gospels, Luke 4 says it was his custom to go to the synagogue. What was he doing every Sabbath? He was worshiping. He was with God's people. Didn't go off to a mountain somewhere. He went to God's people in the synagogue. Opened the scroll.

LH
Yep.

PH
If when he was younger, he would have listened to the rabbi preaching the gospel. When he became a rabbi himself, he taught and he preached the gospel, and he explained the wonderful things that God has done for His people to the people, and they spent time in each other's company, no doubt singing God's praises as well. So, these two elements, these two reasons that are tucked away in the in the two renditions of the fourth commandment, we are always to remember what God did for us in creating us, and how that original creation setup was already meant for us to be in fellowship with Him on the Sabbath. And even all those six days are meant to be… we work for the Lord, and we may certainly have fellowship with him day by day, but the Sabbath day seventh is a special thing. And then in Deuteronomy we are told to remember, after the fall into sin, remember how the Lord has set you free. He's reestablished you in that relationship with Himself, and He gives you the day of rest to enjoy it, to practice it to have that that beautiful freedom a foretaste of it.

LH
Yep. So then that rest and that freedom though, like I think you make very strong case that okay it's rooted in creation. We see it again the law. This is a continuation of this command, and not only just this command, but this gift that God gives us, both before the fall into sin and still after, that much more even maybe after the fall into sin that we need that rest, need that time to commune together in worship of God. But then, what does this mean in terms of the rest in the practice in the New Testament era, right? Like because Jesus obviously spends a lot of time dialoguing with the Pharisees in his ministry, and a substantial portion of that, there are clear passages dealing with the Sabbath or the Sunday in our case, I guess. So, what does it signify that he was very clear and direct with the Pharisees in pushing back against their legalism? What can we kind of learn from that, and what does he mean when he says the Sabbath was made for man? Because I think that's a very critical one that can get perhaps misunderstood today. Because it's I think it's very easy to take that kind of teaching and go, “whoa, I'll just I'll rest, I'll do what my heart desires.” Because of all the litany of cultural entertainment that we have today, and the kind of culture that we live in, where it's you can entertain yourself to death, literally, as Neil Postman says, right? So it's very easy to spend your weekends just doing that. So how do we carefully suss through that as Christians to know this is what good rest looks like? This is what living in accordance with the fourth commandment today looks like, and how can we be on guard against legalism in the one ditch, but also complete you know chaos or perhaps do what you wantism serving yourself on the other side.

PH
Yeah, well let's maybe talk about what the Lord Jesus meant when He said, "The Son of Man is Lord of the Sabbath, and the Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath. So the first part of that quote, "The Son of Man is Lord of the Sabbath.” Well, the Lord Jesus is claiming divine authority with those words. He is saying, "son of man” is an expression that comes out of Daniel 7, which there's a figure in Daniel 7 that appears before the Ancient of Days, who would be then Yahweh. So to put it in terms of the persons of the Trinity, it's God the Son approaching God the Father, and He is given all authority. That's the vision in Daniel 7. So the Son of Man is a as a title for the Messiah, who has been given all authority, and not just all human authority, but actually divine authority. So when He says the Son of Man is Lord of the Sabbath, He's staking out the ground to the Pharisees that this is my day, and he actually had the right to say, "I was there in the beginning when this day was created, and this is my day, and I get to say what's the right thing to do on it, yes or no.” So the Lord Jesus lays that out. That's what that claim is all about. And then He says the sun, the Sabbath was made for man. Well, that actually takes us back to creation, right?

LH
It’s that gift idea.

PH
Yeah, and but He doesn't say. Notice He doesn't say the Sabbath was made for Israel. He doesn't say the Sabbath was made for the Jews. He doesn't say the Sabbath was made for God's people. He says the Sabbath was made for man. That's a very general word for mankind, for humanity,

LH
Broad

PH
Connects right with Genesis too. Those verses we read earlier.

LH
Yep.

PH
So actually, I think the Lord Jesus is supporting what we've been saying all the way along that the Sabbath is a gift from God. Indeed, now made for man, for man's benefit. The Pharisees had this turned around. The Pharisees were so locked in to obeying the commandments of the law for fear that transgressing those commandments would bring God's wrath down upon Israel. The Pharisees were born out of almost an overreaction to what happened at the exile, you go back to the exile to Babylon. The prophets mention that a big reason that why God removed Israel from their own land and sent them off to Babylon was because they did not give the land their rests, the Sabbath rests every seven years and so one of the things the Pharisees, when they were a party that kind of rose to prominence after the return from exile, and they rose to prominence on this idea that we have to keep the law. We have to keep the law because otherwise God's going to do this again.

LH
Yep.

PH
And one of the big things they became known for was Sabbath keeping because they read in the book of Kings and in the prophets, other prophets that the Sabbath…

LH
was disregarded.

PH
Yeah, the desecration of the Sabbath was what brought God's anger. So they actually put what they call a hedge around the law. They made something like 613 additional little laws for how the people were to protect the Sabbath and honor and honor the Sabbath and not disobey the Sabbath. They were always concerned with not disobeying the law. So, but they went so far with it that they actually undermined the very intent of the law. Like God's law has a purpose; it has an intention. There's a rationale behind it. That's the that's true in human laws generally, and you cannot just take a given law and say, "Well, I'm going to obey that law just exactly according to the wording, and then ignore what the intention was in that law. You will very soon find yourself doing something that actually runs contrary to the very thing that was intended, and that's actually what the Pharisees were doing. So they took the creation Sabbath and then the Sabbath that God gave at Mount Sinai with it, and God did give some additional commands there, but they added so many commands they made it an oppressive day, right? Like they said you couldn't you know, they accused Jesus' disciples of when they would take a stock of grain from the field and just do this in their with their fingers they said that was working that was harvesting. Well that's just a joke right and the Lord nowhere in the laws of Moses condemned the plucking of heads of grain, so that you can eat on the Sabbath. The Lord nowhere in the laws of Moses condemned the healing of a blind man or the healing of a lame man, like the Lord Jesus did a couple times on the Sabbath. That was never condemned, but they considered all that to be work. So they actually, with their accumulation of laws, they turned the day upside down, and they made they made it so that the Israelite was made for the Sabbath, instead of the Sabbath was made for all of mankind, creation, right? So Jesus is actually straightening out this great error. He's not saying, "Oh, do what you want on the on the Sabbath or the day of rest. He's not saying that at all. He’s just saying the Sabbath was made for man for man's good. Well, what is man's good? You go back to Genesis 2. Man's good. It's his highest joy is to spend quality time with his Maker. That's what that's what making the day holy is about is not going off golfing, is not going off down to the beach and hanging with your friends and just doing whatever you want. And God's far from your thoughts. No, this day is about spending it with the Lord. And I'm not saying that you can't do that at the beach, like in some measure. I'm not saying you know going to the beach is an evil thing in the evening or something like that. But I'm just saying, the mindset has to be: this day is for me, is given to me by God, for my good. What is my highest good? It's to be in the Lord's company. It's to give my heart to the Lord. It's to fellowship with my God. What higher good can there be?

LH
Yep.

PH
So he's articulating the core principle of the Sabbath-it's actually the core principle of life.

LH
Yeah.

PH
So, yeah, that was - I think that answers part of your question. Maybe you can refresh me on what the other part was.

LH
Yeah, I did ask you a long one there. Well, maybe just kind of building off what you had just mentioned there. So obviously, he repeatedly challenges the Pharisees on their Sabbath laws and the overbearing nature of the 613, as you mentioned, and so we know that Sabbath is a good gift given for man. It was made for man. It reminds us that we exist to commune with God, to worship God, to glorify Him, to live with Him, and that we long for that eternal rest. So I'm tracking with all of that still. But what does it mean to fulfill the Sabbath rather than to abolish it? Because like Christ didn't abolish the Sabbath, but He fulfills it. But how do we kind of define those two terms? And I guess we're kind of leading into like what is this? We'll get into the whole Sunday conversation, the shift over from Sabbath to Sunday. But what does it mean to fulfill the Sabbath, and how does that take us kind of into that the Sunday conversation maybe.

PH
Yeah, the concept of fulfill or the word the verb to fulfill is a bit tricky because it depends on the context in which it's used, or whether it ends up meaning something is abolished or something is in continual use. So we know, for example, that the Lord Jesus Christ came to fulfill all the law. He says that very plainly in Matthew 5:17, “I did not come to abolish the law. I came to fulfill it.” Okay, what does that mean? Well, let's just think of some other commands. Very clear commands. Did the Lord Jesus fulfill the eighth commandment, "You shall not steal." Did He fulfill that? Sure, He did. He lived it to its fullest extent. He didn't steal from anybody. He always was kind-hearted toward those in need. He did what he could for those in need.

LH
Generous, yep.

PH
Right. He fulfilled it. Does that mean it's abolished?

LH
No.

PH
No. I think everybody would agree. There's no doubt about that. And you could do the same for the ninth commandment about not bearing false witness, and the seventh commandment about sexual purity, and the sixth commandment about not killing, and the fifth commandment about honoring authority, and the third commandment about not taking the Lord's name in vain. Like you can do it for all the nine, and everybody would say, "Yeah, no, they have ongoing significance, they're still binding on all of us. We all of us must not steal. All of us must not commit adultery. All of us must honor those in authority. But somehow, with the fourth commandment, it's like, oh, that that's a big question mark for people. And I think there's been an over reading of the fourth commandment to say, oh, that's just all shadow. That's just. That's just all temporary. See, they don't root it in creation. They don't see it as part of God's permanent law. They see it only as a temporary thing. And that's where I believe the a big mistake is made and they, yeah, folks who see it that way will quickly then say, well, the fourth commandment is yeah, it's finished because the all the Sabbaths are gone. Paul doesn't Paul say in Colossians that you know those who esteem a new moon or a Sabbath or a feast or a feast or whatever I forget exactly how he puts it, but you know those things are those things have I forget exactly how he how he says it there, but he kind of dismisses them like they're no longer in force.

LH
It’s not needed. You could do that, but it's not a requirement. That sort of mindset. But then what about the Sermon on the Mount, though? Because that's the situation..

PH
Indeed. So here's where we have to distinguish between, in the laws of Moses, there are there are moral laws that are permanent, 10 Commandments. There are civil laws that apply to the state of Israel, that apply to the state of Israel as a governing as a governed nation.

LH
Sure.

PH
So long as that nation existed, basically that came to an end in AD 70.

LH
Yeah.

PH
Then there's ceremonial laws that pertain to the worship of Israel. Everything related to the tabernacle. Everything related to the temple, all the sacrifices. Well, we know from Christ's own mouth and from the book of Hebrews and the teaching of the apostles, that all those ceremonies they came to an end. They were abolished. Why were they abolished?

LH
Because Christ's sacrifice is sufficient.

PH
Right. Because they were they were set in place, not ever as permanent, the permanent moral law of God. They were set in place as a temporary teaching tools to teach the people of God about the need for the greater Messiah or the great Messiah who was to come. So they were always meant as temporary, and we the temple is no more because Christ came and He was the temple in in human flesh, and the temple today is his body on earth, the church. All the sacrifices came to a halt because he is the ultimate final sacrifice. All the laws of clean and unclean came to a halt because he brought an end to the division between Jew and Gentile. All these things are very clearly taught in the New Testament, and nobody disputes them. But the fourth commandment is sometimes lumped in with them because people say, "Oh, that's part of those shadows”, but then they get that's where the confusion comes in. They're not part of the. It's not part of the shadows.

LH
It’s not ceremonial.

PH
Right. It's not ceremonial. There's an element, and this is another layer of the confusion inside of the 10 Commandments. There are elements which are temporal. Let's say we'll just use a different word, temporal. So, a clear example is the fifth commandment, where the Lord says, you know, that He gives a promise: if we honor our father and mother, then our days will be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you. Well, that's a reference to the land of Canaan. When we hear that today, we are not to think of the land of Canaan as our land. What are we to think of? We are to think of what the land of Canaan pointed to, because it was a pointer to the great new earth and new heavens that are coming. So we have to do a little mental translation. When we hear that, right? Because that's not our, we're not in that time frame anymore. Still valid, the fifth commandment, still God's moral law for us to honor those in authority. But there's the permanent moral element, honor authority. The temporal element, the land of Canaan. With the fourth commandment, the permanent element is one day of rest out of every seven, six days you shall work, one day you shall rest. The temporal element is the seventh day. We know that because of what the Lord Jesus, who's the Lord of the Sabbath, what He did in His resurrection and how He basically taught His disciples to honor Him by worshiping him on the Lord's Day, what the New Testament calls the Lord's Day on that new on the first day. So the fourth commandment is a moral thing. The day of rest is a moral thing. It's not a temporal thing. We, the people of God, if you just look at it practically, the people of God still need a day on which to worship. If we didn't have a command to worship on Sunday, what would the church, how would we ever get our church services together?

LH
Be a scheduling nightmare.

PH
It'd be, it'd be crazy.

LH
Yeah.

PH
So, yeah. So, so, so the fourth commandment, you know. Rooted in creation, part of the 10, written on stone, these are the core elements of why Reformed and Presbyterian churches, and not just them, but those are the ones that we're most familiar with, have always regarded them, the fourth commandment, as a permanent thing. It's God's permanent will to have one day in seven, and now and in the new covenant era, the first day of the week, to rest and to worship.

LH
That makes sense. What are some examples of maybe other commandments where like there's a temporal element to it that falls away, but like the base portion of it is still applicable today. Like, would it be like if you think about like the do not kill, like the part that would fall away would be the specific punishments for manslaughter or straight up like full cold blooded first degree murder, like in the in the nation of Israel at that time. Is that how that would kind of split out, or…

PH
So. yeah, I mean, the way that the civil laws of Israel worked, they worked out the 10 Commandments in all kinds of practical ways, right? And if you disobey, then there was these penalties. So the penalties were indeed temporal for the nation of Israel under that governing system, and we can still learn from them, by the way, we can learn principles, but we are no longer obligated by God to put into practice like our civil governments today are no longer obligated by God to orchestrate or conduct the civil affairs in exactly the same manner that Israel did, led by God in the desert. Maybe another temporal element within the 10 Commandments proper might be reference to in the 10th Commandment to you know coveting a neighbor's field or ox or donkey. Most of us aren't having oxes and donkeys around. I mean, that was really, I mean, some of us might have oxes and donkeys, I suppose, but those are just examples of things that belong to your neighbor that are valuable that that could be then envied by another neighbor.

LH
Be like your truck and your tractor today.

PH
So there’s another example of that mental translation. Like the 10 Commandments are every bit as valid today as they ever were, but we do have to make some mental translations when we hear them, and that's why we have preaching on that. Explain the 10 Commandments and go through this once in a while. That's why we explain it to our kids.

LH
So back to the Sermon on the Mount, though that's I believe the only commandment that's not mentioned there explicitly. So, what about this idea of like, well, Jesus didn't say it explicitly, but he did say the other ones. They're all kind of weaved in there.

PH
Yeah, sometimes yes, and elsewhere in the New Testament. So, the Sermon on the Mount doesn't have all the 10 Commandments weaved in. It's got a number of them, but not all of them. But elsewhere in the New Testament, you can pretty well find all of them rearticulated in so many words, but not the fourth commandment, and that has led people to say, "Oh, see, the fourth commandment's just temporal.”

LH
That is odd. That's kind of an irregularity.

PH
It is odd, but it's odd only in the sense if you're if you think that's what's needed, what that that somehow you know, without that we're sunk. We don't have anything a leg to stand on. We do have a lot of legs to stand on. Number one, there's no word in the New Testament that the day of rest is gone. There's no word of abrogation in the New Testament that we no longer have to be worried about any single day of the week as a day on which to worship.

LH
The Colossians text doesn't apply there?

PH
The Colossians text, and you might as well say Romans 14, those are referring to the system of ceremonies inside the laws of Moses. So inside the laws of Moses, you've got yes Sabbaths, all kinds of Sabbaths, not just the one every seven days, but you've got ones that are associated with the beginning of certain festivals and feasts so they would have a number of extra Sabbaths in in the course of a year as they began and ended certain feasts. Every new moon there was a there was a special ceremony, and I think there was also rest associated with every new moon. These are gone. That was all part of the system.

LH
Day of Jubilee, all that.

PH
The year of jubilee.

LH
Oh sorry, Year of Jubilee.

PH
And the Sabbath year, all gone because they are all they all belong to the mosaic law. That's very clear. All those are things are gone. But as I said earlier, that doesn't take away from the original seventh day of rest, like that one in seven, one in seven from Genesis 2. So the confusion sometimes is indeed that that people only think of the laws of Moses. If the Sabbath originated at Mount Sinai, then yes, it's gone. Then, then they're right. There is no special day. But if the Sabbath originated at creation, it's still with us, just like marriage is still with us, and the command to work and the command to have children. Those are creation mandates.

LH
Foundational.

PH
There’s been a change from the seventh day to the first day because Jesus is Lord of the Sabbath, and He rose from the dead on the first day of the week. And if you just think about that for a moment, doesn't that tie it all together? On the first day of the week, what's happening in Jesus' resurrection? He is the first fruits of the new creation. Right? He rises with what? His glorified body. He's the only one. Even as we speak, he's the only one that has a glorified body. Elijah doesn't have a glorified body. The saints who died…

LH
Moses

PH
…don't have glorified bodies. They're all waiting for their glorified body in heaven. Their souls waiting. But the Lord Jesus has a glorified body, a body that's filled with the spirit of God, a spiritual body, as Paul says in one Corinthians 15. We're going to get a body like that, but we're still waiting. So he's the first fruits of the new creation. Well, that ties in with Exodus 20. Remember creation. What else does Jesus' resurrection do it seals the forgiveness of our sins, right? Christ's death paid for all of our sins. 1 Corinthians 15, Paul says, yes, the crucifixion is critically important, but if Jesus didn't rise from the dead, you're still in your sins.

LH
Yeah.

PH
So the resurrection is of one piece; it completes the payment.

LH
If flips the whole thing on its head too, because it's just like the rest comes first, then the work, versus the work and then the rest in the Old Testament too.

PH
Right. So when Jesus rises from the dead, then the payment is confirmed, the victory is confirmed. That's why Resurrection Day, Easter, is such a joyful day because had Jesus not come forth from the tomb, everything else would have been for naught. Right. So the resurrection Easter Sunday is a fulfillment of the Exodus from Egypt. Easter Sunday is what Deuteronomy 5, the fourth commandment in Deuteronomy 5 is talking about. Remember that you were slaves in Egypt. Remember that you were slaves to sin. Remember that you were under the tyranny of the devil and how the Lord Jesus set you free.

LH
You were slaves. Now everything hinges on the resurrection. It flips, and you've been set free. Therefore, go live lives of thankfulness.

PH
Right

LH
In the you know following six days,

PH
exactly. And then we get every seventh days. You on the first day of the week, the people of God are gathering to worship. That that that pattern starts to emerge in the Gospels. Every one of the Gospels mentions Jesus rose on the first day of the week. The disciples were gathered on that day. Jesus met them on that day. They worshiped him on that day. A week later in John's Gospel, exactly a week later, like the next Sunday, they were gathered again. Jesus appears to them again. He shows himself to Thomas. In the Book of Acts we see the same pattern appearing. They met on the first day of the week. 1 Corinthians 16, Paul says, when you meet on the first day of the week have a collection and set aside some money so that when I come I don't have to have a special collection at that time. Do that, by the way, in Corinth and in the churches of Galatia.

LH
Yeah, so broadly applies.

PH
This was a common thing. They were they were gathering on the first day of the week. So they didn't need a special command. They understood that when Jesus rose from the dead, it was a fulfillment of the Sabbath. But that didn't mean they stopped having one day out of seven to worship. They now recognize the resurrection day as oh this is the new holy day. This is the new special day on which we can commune with our Savior and our Lord. This is the day where it all comes together, and the church has recognized it ever since.

LH
And that's fairly undisputed, like across different denominations. Like that, the Catholics obviously would do that too, Protestants…

PH
The Lutherans, the Anglicans, the Baptists. Yep, everybody mostly, as far as I know, has the first day of the week. You know, I've got a I've got a reference somewhere in my notes about that, you know that this was the practice, you see it in the in the scriptures, in the New Testament scriptures, like I mentioned. But then in the early church history, it was a, they just pick they just carried on with that practice. So Eusebius in the fourth century mentions something like in in in all the churches everywhere, on the first day of the week, people gathered to sing the Lord's praises. He just makes a reference to that, like a it's a common pattern, you know. And throughout history, in the in the Middle Ages, the Roman Church they had something called lauds and vespers. Lauds was morning worship, break of day, and vespers was evening worship. And so this idea of morning and evening, morning and evening, was a common enough thing throughout history, and the Reformation Church basically continued. You know. First of all, with Sunday as the Lord's Day worship, and then they often they had two services. Even the Lutherans had two services in the early period of the Reformation. Later on, that they dropped it, it seems, but for the early period, they were quite happy to have a catechism sermon in the afternoon. I know we're getting into something else here now, but I’m just mentioning that this whole first day of the week thing, it's not just oh a recent invention that's been going on since the New Testament.

LH
Yep. Okay, so that's pretty clear. I think we've that that's you've established that well. So okay, we're sitting here on Sunday. There's a clear continuation from creation through the laws of Moses and then into the fulfillment that translates into Sunday. Now we're in you know the Christ is come, He has risen, and we are in the New Testament regime, so to speak. How does that play out now practically? Like where does the rubber hit the road on some of these issues? So let's maybe shift gears in the back half year, and kind of get to some more of the practical or the nitty gritty, the Real Talk type questions or examples. So we put this out on social media too that we're going to be talking about the Sabbath and Sunday, and we did get quite a few submissions from listeners and stuff too. So there's a lot of interest, and I think a lot of people are working through this topic in their lives, both, I mean, obviously, just in the context of younger folks like myself establishing a family and establishing routines, and kind of seeing what you grew up with and what you're going to keep or change, whatever. But then also, just if we think about the how disruptive COVID was going back whatever it was six years now, and the rise of going to more online church and live stream as an option as well for people. So now there's more kind of considerations there and more options to weigh. So why don't we kind of wade into some of these waters? But I think for us in in a reformed context, many, most of our listeners probably grew up in a two service kind of context, going you know morning and afternoon, or morning and evening, and that's something that we're a lot of us are used to. Where does that practice come from? Is this a wise and godly practice on its own, but take it or leave it, or is this more of a command? Like, how did this kind of come about, and give us some guidance on that topic in particular?

PH
Well, I think if we go back to the fourth commandment, and even to Genesis 2, In both commands, there the Lord speaks about keeping the day holy to Him. So I think in all the practical discussions that we're about to have, we need to keep that in mind. Remember this this idea of keeping a day holy was before a fall into sin. So after the fall into sin, and even after being redeemed by Christ, we still can speak about a holy day. It's not. It's not off the table to speak about a holy day. The first day of the week is holy to the Lord. Let's keep the day holy. How do we do that? How do they do it in the Old Testament? We like to look to the Bible for examples. Well, in the Old Testament, there was sacrifices made at the altar, in the tabernacle, in the temple, every morning and every evening. That was every day of the week, but it was doubled on the Sabbath. So the priests were there first thing in the morning and first thing in the evening, and there would have been worshippers gathered around the gate or the entry to the tabernacle, praying and offering their devotion to the Lord as these things were done. We know that was common practice in the Old Testament. We have reference to morning and evening worship in Psalm 92, which is called a psalm for the Sabbath. Give praise to the Lord in the morning and in the evening, I believe it is. I'm just paraphrasing a bit there. So, if you bring that into the New Testament period, the first Christians were Jews, and then they were quickly joined by Gentiles. We have evidence from history that they worshiped also first thing in the morning and first thing in the evening, or last thing in the evening, I should say at sunset, sunrise and sunset. That was their practice in the early church, morning and evening worship. That that does a lot to help keep the day holy to the Lord. This idea that you worship in the morning and the rest of the day is for yourself, that's a problem. That's already moving away from the concept of this day is for the honor of the Lord and for my good. My good, my highest good is indeed to give my heart to the Lord, to be in the Lord's company, to think about the Lord, to fellowship with the Lord, to meditate upon the Lord, not to go off and do whatever I want, right? Isaiah, the prophet says, I believe it's chapter 58 - He also makes reference to this in chapter 56 - and the Lord through Isaiah says, "Call my Sabbath a delight. Do not do what you want on my on my day.” This is the attitude we should have. We should be looking for ways to make the day such that we can commune with our hearts with our God, and a public worship service in the morning and a public worship service either in the evening or in the latter part of the afternoon. The Lord doesn't specify hours.

LH
Fill out the day approach.

PH
Sort of almost like bookends to the day.

LH
Sure,

PH
That helps very much to keep our focus on the Lord. If we if we find ourselves resisting two worship services and thinking, “well, I don't need the second worship service,” we should ask ourselves, what's going on in my heart? Why don't I want to spend time worshiping God and hearing Him speak to us? Because He speaks to us in the preaching of the Word, right? The preaching of the Word is God speaking to us. This is one of the ordinary means of grace. He does it also in the sacraments, right? He speaks to us when the church is being gathered, when the church is being called by the Christ-appointed elders, we should, our heart should want to be there. This is the starting point for these discussions. We shouldn't be looking for well, what exactly are the parameters in Scripture? What are the do's and don'ts? That's where we get into the Pharisees, Pharisaical side of things. Remember the principle. This is a day holy to the Lord for our good, and our good is when we spend time with God. So, yeah, and all through church history, as I mentioned earlier, Eusebius mentions morning and evening, the Middle Ages, Lauds and Vespers, and then also the Reformed’s and the Anglican’s and the Presbyterian’s and the Lutheran’s all had a second service at some point in the latter part of the day, and that was common practice in the Reformation. We've gotten away from it last couple of centuries. A lot of the Protestant churches, but we are... It's not a good thing to get away from it. It's there's so many benefits to is.

LH
And then and then you layer in the additional like authority of the elders and them calling you to a second service and that whole side of things too. But you're kind of just speaking more towards like what is your heart posture towards the day, right?

PH
I think we have to start with that. Like at the at the end of the day, all of us need to be honest before God. Yep, like we're all going to stand before the Lord and ask, and He's have to give account for how we honored the fourth commandment. Did you consider my day holy? It's the Lord's Day, not the Lord's couple of hours in the morning. The Lord's Day. What did you do with my day? I gave you so many years of my day once every seven, what did you do with it? Well, if you think about that question, you think about the day of judgment. Let that let that inform how we answer, and not be glib, and not be you know posturing or not look for excuses. You're going to have to, I have to answer to the Lord. So do you. So does everybody. What are we doing on Lord's Day? Is it for me or for the Lord? Am I looking after my wants, or am I serving the Lord from the heart? Am I trying to get to know Him better? Am I trying to be in fellowship with His people better? You know.

LH
this one's a little off the wall, though it's kind of related to the heart posture side of things. What about thinking about it from like a sundown to sundown sort of approach, like because that was, I think that's how the Jews kind of deal with their Sabbath, even still today, where it's like whenever the sun goes down, to whenever goes down the next day.
So kind of a evening to evening approach.

PH
So I suppose I suppose there's freedom to do that. Like if you if you wanted to start your holy day, your day of rest on Saturday sundown, and concluded at Sunday sundown. I, I don't think anyone could say that's wrong. Our culture is such that we normally think in terms of midnight to midnight, in terms of when the day starts and ends. So, I would, but I would leave that into the freedom of a individual believers.

LH
Yeah. Okay. Interesting. I just think about that. Like it's if you're preparing for your work week or whatever too. Like my mind always tends to go there on a Sunday evening. Like okay, I'm getting up tomorrow. What am I doing on Monday? What's the day look like?

PH
Yeah.

LH
But so if you kind of like growing up, you were always big on that. Like preparing your heart or your mind for Sunday, right? So you're kind of trying to wind down on Saturday.

PH
Yeah. Well, another factor in all this too is as we're thinking about how to spend the Lord's Day in a way that's holy to the Lord and honoring to the Lord, we should think about our children. We should think about our neighbors, how we as adults act, and how we perform and do this the Sunday. People observe that our own children observe that. They will know whether we're the real deal or not. They will know whether this is this is just a dad or mom, you know, trying to get away with stuff and going to church. Yeah, but then after church, not really caring about the things of the Lord, they'll see that that's hypocrisy. They'll see that and they'll smell that, and it would be no surprise if they abandon the faith when they become adults. Also, our neighbors are looking upon us. Are we, what we do on the Lord's Day says a lot about who we worship. If we can't give the whole day to the Lord, if we're not serious about the Lord on this day. If we just go a couple of hours in the morning and then do our own thing in the afternoon, just like all of our worldly neighbors, they will understand who we really are for in this life. By contrast, if we are serious about the Lord's day, it can be a fantastic witness. I know I have a friend who, in university days, he was in architecture school, and he was hard pressed sometimes to meet deadlines for his assignments. And these architecture students, they would go 24/7 for periods of time to get their projects done. Well, he was, and they all had their studios in the same building, and so you were you know you were right beside your fellow students doing your architectural models and whatnot. Well, he would leave promptly at midnight on Saturday, and all of his fellow students were still there. They were going to go through the night because this thing was due Monday, and they had to get it done. And he would reappear Sunday at midnight, and he did this consistently, and you know, at first they were just like, "What are you doing? You're crazy!” But after a while, they respected him. They saw that he was serious about this. And you know what? His marks never suffered. The Lord blessed those efforts, and that's just a simple example of faithfulness in the little things. You know, he didn't do it to be noticed, but he was noticed.

LH
It's one of those things, and I think you see that a lot in Christian life, where like it, yeah, it doesn't make sense on the surface. Like think of a tithing in another like context, you could like oh you could take that money, you can invest it, you can make more money, then give it away later in life. But that's just not how the Lord works, and that's not what he calls us to do, ultimately.

PH
Right. It's very much like well, another example would be the giving of the first fruits. If you go back into the Israelites' history, you know the Lord was saying when you when you harvest your field, the very first portion of your harvest, bring that to the temple and give it to me, give it to the priests and give it to the personnel, the Levites, and even to the poor, don't eat it for yourself. You didn't have the rest of the crop in the barn, right? So you had to trust the Lord that He would give you the rest of the crop, that it would yet come in the barn, that there would be no storms that would flatten that crop because it was still in the field.

LH
Yeah.

PH
So the giving of the first fruits is an act of faith. You're trusting God to provide for you because you would very much like to have that first portion in your barn.

LH
Yeah, it feels safer, you know.

PH
But who you trusting?

LH
Who you trusting? Yeah.

PH
And it's the same with the seventh or the, sorry the first day, the day of rest. Give it to the Lord. Spend it with the Lord. Who are you trusting?

LH
Yep, yep. So you see, though, the company like Chick Fil A too, how they just you know, like business sense, it doesn't make any sense. You're like, that's a whole extra day. People buy a ton of fast food on Sundays. You can make so much extra money. But hasn’t hurt them at all.

PH
The Lord blesses.

LH
Yeah. Okay, live stream. Let's do that. That's a big one nowadays too. Again, that kind of arises during COVID, and that becomes more and more popular. A lot of people will use this as like an alternative to going to church, and you could make the case to yourself at least, it's easy to convince your own heart of this that this is more restful. I'm not feeling the best, and you know I've had a full day or too much social interaction in the morning service. I got to just relax. But how do we kind of treat live stream in in today's world?

PH
Well, I'm just going to underline that we all have to be honest before God. We all have to answer to God. So we all can make excuses and even have reasons and justify a lot of things to ourselves. We have to be really careful with that. Live stream service, in and of itself, can be a great blessing for those who legitimately can't come to the worship services. Let's start with that positive, okay? Compared to what we had before, with recordings and tapes and CDs, where people would have, if they were stuck at home, they were they were shut in, or they were in places where they could not get to, to they would love to be to worship at worship, but they couldn't get there. Then you know they either had a pre-recorded CD in the old and you know a decade ago. Now they can watch it live. That's a blessing. So let's acknowledge that. But if you're able to come to church and you don't have a legitimate reason for staying home, you're not doing right. You're not honoring the fourth commandment. So let's, I think, just be very clear about that. Leave it at that. It's pretty plain. Like if you stay home from worship, and you and you think that the Lord accepts live stream worship when you could go to church, that's wrong.

LH
And even as a blessing itself, and it is a blessing for those who can't go. It's not the same. It's still just there's no gathering element to that, really.

PH
100%. You are at best observing. So it's a second best option for those who are unable to go to the gathering of God's people, and then it can be a blessing because that’s all you can do. But if you're staying home by choice, you're not honoring the call of the Lord to worship on the Lord's Day.

LH
Okay, let's get in as we kind of you know bring the show to a close here. But there's a lot of good questions we have from listeners that want to kind of address. Yeah, we don't have to go rapid fire necessarily, but we'll see if we can get through them in in shorter order, if possible. Keeping in mind again this kind of idea of the two ditches, right? Avoiding the secularism or the complete you know go with my heart sort of kind of mentality of whatever I find to be restful, I should do. Like taking yourself out of the day and making sure it's focused on God would be the proper approach there. And then on the other ditch, the whole legalism side of things, of course, too, right? So maybe just high level, and then we'll get into some specifics. How would you counsel someone who struggles with one ditch or the other? Someone who says, "Yeah, like I grew up with a lot of these practices, and I think they're probably good, but also they can seem a little legalistic, and a lot of other Christians don't have these.” And I'm not sure about the biblical backing of these particular outworkings, whether that be, you know, whatever, let's take going out for dinner on a Sunday, for example, or lunch, or something. Something very common in a lot of other Christian circles, but not something that we typically practice in the Reformed tradition. How would you counsel someone on that side, and then also someone who's who kind of struggles with, yeah, it's a free world. I can do what I like, but you can kind of ensnare yourself in that as well.

PH
Well, I do think we should to just sort of take up the issue of going out to restaurants. I know that's a popular, in some places, a popular thing. And look, part of the fourth commandment is the requirement for us to rest. That's in the fourth commandment in Deuteronomy and in Exodus, it's we're also required to let our servants rest. We should not ignore that. Your male servant, your female servant, your ox, your donkey, all these creatures, the sojourner within your gates, they shall rest as well as you. Deuteronomy 5.

LH
That's what God wants.

PH
That's what God wants. So, okay, what's the principle there? Well, basically, we should not make anyone work for us to the extent possible that we can. So, when I walk into a restaurant on Sunday and order food, I am making someone work. I cannot square that with the 10th commandment, or the fourth commandment.

LH
Now, with the servants in the Old Testament context, they would have taken the day off of making food for their master.

PH
They would have, yeah.

LH
Who makes the food?

PH
I'm not exactly sure how they would have done it, but they, they perhaps they would have prepared it the night before. That seems to make the most sense practically speaking. But they were like that rest was quite serious. It was quite vigorously commanded. In they weren't even allowed to make a fire on the Sabbath day.

LH
Yeah. See. So, but that specific example that would be like okay, that's away with the ceremonial laws. Like that's the shadows, right? We cast that away, so why not cast away that that kind of component of it as well?

PH
Well, because the rest element, we're commanded to rest. That's an ongoing command, and we're also commanded to give our servants a rest.

LH
Yeah, but is that an ongoing command, though?

PH
I don't see how you can separate those two. Like, isn't it? Wouldn't it be selfish of me to say, "Well, I'm going to rest, but now I'm going to I'm going to make my servants work.” Like imagine I'm a I'm a boss. You're an employer, so you go to church, but you make your employees work on Sunday. Would that's would that be fair?

LH
No, no.

PH
No. And that's the principle I'm talking about. I think the fourth commandment is talking about you let your employees. Rest, even if they're not Christians, you give them that day. It's a the Sabbath was made for man.

LH
Yeah.

PH
So we should do whatever we can to not make people work for us. So like and you know when you go to the restaurant, yeah, people have to serve you. Well, if you didn't go and if enough people didn't go; the restaurant wouldn't open on Sunday. And I recognize that my one action, your one action, isn't likely to change the actions of others. But the principle of it is now: are we are we giving the opportunity for rest to that other person? And then I would say, you know what? We can do better. We can just stay home. We don't have to go to the restaurants on Sunday. Invite people over for fellowship, and I recognize there's a busyness on at home.

LH
There's a lot of serving that goes into that too.

PH
Yes. And I recognize that, but you know I think that way is you're having fellowship. There's ways I think to maybe make the fellowship a little easier going in terms of meal prep on a Sunday. It used to be the habit in in many Dutch Reformed churches, Dutch Reformed homes to have the soup made Saturday night, and maybe even to have the buns cut up Saturday night or whatever, so that basically meals like lunch and supper were simple fare, soup and buns, but you didn't have to do a lot of prep. I recognize you know some of that's changed, but maybe we can think in terms of hey, what kind of easy meals can we have on Sunday and make it easy for mom? I recognize that moms are often busy on Sundays, so I'm not saying we got we got we do everything right or perfect. I think I think we can think a lot harder about how to do Sundays better, how to honor the Lord, how to how to make it holy to the Lord, how to bless our own hearts by communing with God more richly than maybe we do now, rush, rush, rush, rush, rush all the time. Can we can we rethink that? I think there's lots of room to rethink things, and maybe we can also rethink how we do Saturday nights so that Sundays can be easier. Again, the principle of rest and worship those are those are key, and to lay aside all unnecessary work.

LH
Yeah. But then, yeah, you still have to draw some lines in terms of like travel kind of comes into play, vacations come into play. That's usually where you see a lot of principles get bent is on vacation in particular. So how do you kind of square that circle for when your vacation, which is explicitly for your rest, it's kind of your extension of multiple you know Sundays in a row, so to speak, maybe, but it's a different kind of rest there. So how are we defining rest nowadays? I think that's a key question.

PH
Yeah. So Lord's Day rest is setting aside your physical work or your everyday work, I should say. Like I want to just quote something from the Synod of Dordt 1618 1619. Synod of Dordt made six statements about the Sabbath day, day of rest. One of them is the Sabbath of the Jews having been abolished, the day of the Lord must be solemnly hallowed by Christians. That's a principle. The day of the Lord must be solemnly hallowed by Christians, and then another statement: This day must be so consecrated to worship that on that day we rest from all servile works, so ordinary works of our everyday labors, except those which charity and present necessity require, and also from all such recreations as interfere with worship. So there's a there's some principles there, and I think these are very healthy principles that have been followed by Reformed Churches, not just the Dutch Reformed, because the Synod of Dordt was an international synod, and this statement would have been appreciated by many Protestant churches. That we rest and we do what we can to give others that rest, even if they're not Christians. And when we plan our holidays, you mentioned holidays. Let's plan our holidays so that we can have rest and proper worship, proper rest and worship on the Lord's Day. Like in this day and age, more than any other day and age with the internet access, can we not think ahead and plan ahead, so that we're not traveling extensively, at least, on the Lord's Day, so that we're not bothering other people on the Lord's Day with our needs. That we're somewhere, and we are given that we look for an opportunity to be somewhere where there's a faithful church where we can gather with the local saints and be under the preaching of the word. Can we not do that? Man, we you can pick you can go on the internet, you can you can pick a faithful church, find them all over the world.

LH
Well, you can use live streaming, see what they actually operate as too. Check out some sermons.

PH
Right. So that we actually have less excuse now. But what you said earlier is. As I think, it's what we what we're doing in our hearts. We're we want to cut corners because there's other things that are competing for our heart.

LH
It's a preparation challenge more than anything, maybe then. Which is also kind of the Sunday, just to take the specific Sunday example too, if you're not preparing for it well on a Saturday, it's that much more of a temptation. For example, if you're not prepared for your meals or something, to be like, ah, just grab, grab a quick dinner and just whatever pick up some McDonald's or something, if you're in a rush.

PH
Yeah. And if I don't believe that this day is holy to the Lord creation, ordinance, then I guess it doesn't matter if I drive six hours on a on a Sunday and I'm and I'm tired and fatigued, and I'm and during those six hours, I'm not really communing with God. Like I, you know, this is where, this is where the root concept at creation. If we can get that back clear in our minds, then we're going to treat this day differently. We're going to treat it wholly, you know. And if we don't give our time to the Lord, like I can't be bothered to take. I want to drive home for my holiday on Sunday because I need to be back in work Monday. Well, I don't need to be back in work Monday, but I don't want to take Monday off.

LH
Yeah, it's a different thing.

PH
I don't. That's the that's a different thing. We all have the flexibility to take Monday off, make that a travel day, but actually, I don't want to do that because I want to save that holiday because you only have so many in a year for the next holiday. So, what's really going on there?

LH
Yeah, what do you actually value?

PH
It's more my pleasures and choices for me than it is the Lord's honor in the Lord's day. So the Lord's day is one of those days that it gives. It's a, it's like a litmus test. You know what's really going on in our heart. Where does our time really go? If you want to know what a whether a person is a sincere believer, follow their money and follow their time. What are they giving their money to? What are they giving their time to? Those things will tell the tale of what's going on in their heart.

LH
Yep. Similar, I don't know if we have this in our list here, but similar with sports on Sundays and stuff too, like how people try to fit that in where they can, sort of thing. But you inevitably end up against this rub, or even if you don't, you just you're making it so much more busy and harder to focus on what, how it's a holy day and how it's set apart.

PH
You come out of church in the morning and you got softball game. Your you know your kids got a little league game at 2 o'clock in the afternoon. Well, what is that child now thinking? What are you as a parent now thinking when you go to the game? It's all about the game.

LH
Yeah, gotta change in the van after church and then go out there and…

PH
It's all about you've lost the sense of this day is holy to the Lord. You can't tell me that you're going to the to the your child's softball game, and it's a you're thinking about the Lord, and you're communing with the Lord. No, you're not. You're all about that softball game, or the soccer game, or the hockey game, or whatever you've got going on in terms of sports. Sports is another idol of our age, and as Christians, we had better be careful that we don't make it our idol. It's all around us as an idol, there's so many idols around us, but sports is one of them. So I just want to mention that that again, the honesty before God. I have to answer to the Lord what I do with my child on the Lord's day, and have I treated the Lord's Day as a holy day by putting my child in a sports league that plays on Sunday, and that a day that's set aside to be holy to the Lord. Have I really done what is pleasing to the Lord? I can't square that in my conscience. Yeah, and it's not actually at the end of the day my conscience. I can't square it before the Lord.

LH
Yeah, yep. No, when you start with how we did right with in creation and work it all the way through, yeah, it it's applicable for us today. It's a day of rest. It's a holy day, and it's commanded still today to take that seriously. So, to intentionally put extra distractions into your Sunday is at best unwise.

PH
I'll give another example from my own when I was my own youth. When I was when I was a teen, we would have like friends would come over for lunch and we'd play board games.

LH
Yeah.

PH
Okay, that was nice, but I'm a kind of a competitive person, so I don't really like to lose board games, or maybe more so back in those days. So we'd be playing like a board game, like Monopoly or something like that. Monopoly can take a couple of hours, so we'd play between services, and then my friend would come back after the second service. Well, what was I thinking about during the second service?

LH
You should have bought Park Avenue.

PH
Yeah, I was thinking about all these purchases I should have made and what I was going to do when I get back home and you know, I'm a I'm a teenager in church, and I caught myself a number of times thinking about the game at home, sitting in church, and I, it, you know, the penny, I'm a bit of a slow guy that way, like the penny slowly dropped, and I realized at a certain moment, you know what? Like these competitive games, I like I'm not saying for other people maybe they can play them and they don't think about them. I know I can't. I can't think about… so I stopped doing that. I stopped playing competitive games like that between the services because I knew it was ruining my concentration for the afternoon, and I wasn't honoring the Lord. Another thing I've stopped doing for the most part is watching really intense movies or TV shows on a Saturday night because I, this is just me, okay, so we all have to sort of work these things out for ourselves. But, for me, I'd be thinking about that fairly intense drama, let's say, on Sunday, I'd find my mind going back and forth to what I was watching last night. So I just thought, I'm not going to do that. I want to be ready for the Lord's Day. I want the mind ready for worship, and that's what the Lord wants for me, so I can engage as fully as I can. So you know we have to all of us again. I come back to that. We all have to think through for ourselves how to honor this principle of rest and worship and giving the day wholly to the Lord. What can I do to make myself ready so that when Sunday morning comes, and not just the morning but the day that I am I'm here to give my heart to God. I'm here to do what He's given me this day for to commune with Him. What can I do to make that happen to the best? And I think if we work that out, we'll all find a good track to follow.

LH
What are what are some positive things that you can do to fill that day well in between the time where you're engaged or where when you're not engaged in corporate worship on a Sunday, if especially if your church has two services, so that's only so much time of the day. But like we got a question from a from a listener about if you're a young single person, you can actually tend to have quite a bit of time on Sundays. And how do you kind of fill that well? Like, is that engaging in fellowship? Like that's a common thing we always talk about. Like, what does that look like exactly? Like, you don't, you know, you probably don't have to necessarily spend the entire day in the Word. That might be a good thing to do, but that's a pretty intense approach to do every seven days. Like, what’s a good practice?

PH
I do I do believe that that fellowshipping with God's people, both inside the worship service and outside the worship service, is totally a Sunday thing to do. Totally appropriate. Like if you think of what Paul commands or describes the church as in 1 Corinthians 12, as the body of Christ, each with its each member being a part of the body, each part has its own role to play. Well, how can we possibly play a role in each other's lives if we aren't in each other's lives. So 1 Corinthians 12, same with Romans 12, implicitly is calling for us to understand each other, get to know each other, have conversations together, have fellowship together, meet together, have lunch together, have meals together. Not that long ago, we had a fellow over for coffee between services. He was kind of new to the Christian faith, and he hadn't really been to church before. So I said to him, "You want to come over for fellowship” And I didn't really think of the word I used. And he said, "Oh, what's fellowship?” “Oh,” I said, "Well, that's just you know it's just visiting together and hanging out together, getting to know each other.” “Oh,” he says, "Sure.” And then he came back to that word later on. He says, "I like this fellowship thing”, and so we kind of kid about it now. But you know, that's fellowship is a Sunday thing to do. The Lord Jesus says in one of his you know repartees to the Pharisees, "It is lawful to do good on the Sabbath.” Well, how can we do good to our fellow members in the body of Christ? A basic thing is get to know each other. A basic thing is how be in each other's lives. So, for a young single guy, or for even for marrieds, yeah, where you can have people over or inquire whether you can go and visit. And I encourage the non singles to think of inviting singles over, beautiful thing to do. Can be done both directions, but yeah. So I think spending time in each other's company, you know, maybe like things like reading good upbuilding literature doesn't necessarily have to be the Bible. Of course, that's excellent too, but it could be Christian literature of different kinds. What about thinking of way of visiting those who are shut in? You know, there are those who would love to be in church, right? You've got elderly members of the church can't make it out. Well, what about you know popping around and having a cup of tea with elderly Mrs. So and So or shut in Mr. So and So, or what have you? Maybe there's an old age home in the neighborhood that could use, again people there could use visits. These are just the tip of the iceberg. I think if we think about ways we can do good to God's people without overtaxing ourselves, because it is a day of rest, we should also absorb the physical rest and come out of the day refreshed physically and spiritually. The spiritual rest, of course, is primarily in Christ. Like we physically, we spiritually rest in Christ for the forgiveness of our sins. That's where our that's where that that great the greatest of all rest is found is in Christ. But there is a physical rest that the Lord grants us too, with the cessation of labor one day in seven. Yeah, we should we should we should benefit from that.

LH
Yeah, we are body and soul. You need both components that way too. What about works of necessity on the Sabbath? Because yeah, I always find this one to be a tricky one in particular. Because, like, one man's work of necessity is another man's like hobby or leisure activity.

PH
Yeah, and that is that is a tricky thing. And here again, I think we have to just be very honest with ourselves before the face of the Lord. Like between you and the Lord, you should be able to figure out whether this is a work of necessity, or whether this is a work of I want to do it because I like it. So I don't know that there's a straight up answer to that question, you know. And I realize that we live in a work world that's so integrated, where things move from one, like some industries are going 24/7, and you couldn't even stop them if you wanted to because they're going 24/7, and like the internet, the telephone services, hydro services, yeah, these are these are almost works of necessity in our time, so it's very difficult. At the same time, I would say let's as believers do what we can to honor the Lord's Day and to be free on that day to worship. So you take, let's take the work of nursing. We have lots of nurses in our reformed churches who serve in, it's a work of necessity. No one's going to dispute that, right? We need nurses in hospitals. They need to work on Sunday at some points. But lots of the nurses I know they're careful with they try to minimize their Sunday shifts or only take them when they, you know, when there's when there's a when there's a need, so that because they love church, they want to be in church. They recognize they have to take their turn once in a while, and that's appropriate. But you know, so we should be looking for ways to minimize Sunday, even works of necessity, minimize that on Sunday, so that we can maximize the attendance at worship service, and the involvement with the body of Christ.

LH
It’s kind of the same principle, though, as not making other people work on Sunday, right? If you're going to treat that in the restaurant context, right? If you're a nurse and there's whatever I don't know, 50 nurses and they rotate in and out of this various shift, and you know that, like practically speaking, maybe a lot of other people don't give a hoot about the Sunday, and they'll work at whatever. But out of a hey, like I know that the work needs to get done. It is necessary work, right? And you could make an argument based on the principle you outlined earlier that you should actually claim an equal amount of your appropriate shares of the Sunday work if you're trying to be consistent with that principle.

PH
Yeah, I can, I can, I can track with that argument. You know the difference between the two scenarios is the coworker who may want the Sunday shift, the difference between let's say like you're not making this person work. You're this person is would actually like the work. Like the job the job has to be done. Unlike a restaurant, the job does not have to be done. That's, I don't think you can say a restaurant is a work of necessity.

LH
What about hotel restaurant? We have that list on there too. But like business trips, if it goes over a weekend, over a Sunday, how do you kind of handle that, right? Or even just travel arrangements, like a lot of people, like we have it in our business too, where it's like, um, like there'll be a training course that runs from like Monday to Thursday or Monday to Friday, and it's like, okay, like, how do you want to handle that, right? Do you want to take the red eye and like get in at like six a.m. and then you know grab a coffee and go and get to class? Well, you're not going to be physically rested certainly, but you might have been able to make both services, or do you make it calculated? Like, okay, I'll fly out at seven, I'll catch the live stream when I'm sitting in the airport waiting for my flight to here, and I'll go to the morning service.

PH
Well, I mean, probably businessmen, Christian business businessmen would be better able to answer this question. But I know of a number of Christian business people who would, in that scenario would leave Saturday night or Saturday, and they would they would rest on Sunday in their in their destination and find a church there. Hopefully there is one, and then Monday they would go to their thing. So they would it would cost them an extra day, but they would do it for the sake of the Lord's Day.

LH
Yeah, but then I would weigh that against the cost of you missing out on fellowship with your local church, your home church, and then also your family in most cases as well. So I guess that's just a weighing of the principles there.

PH
Yeah, which one which one allows you to keep the Lord's Day holy? I guess you'd have to work that out. And again, honesty in the face of the Lord is your best guide in such decisions

LH
In honoring your duties as a husband and as a father too? That's another day you're away from your wife and your children.

PH
So there, yeah, I think you have to weigh those things. You can't ignore those responsibilities.

LH
Fair enough. Okay, we did get through quite a bit of questions there. Maybe one that we haven't touched on, which is a super relevant one, just this idea of a digital Sabbath and smartphones, and this is-it's funny that we're talking about this. This has been your thing for many years, and I've definitely pushed back on that. But you know, I you get a little older, you get a little smarter and less dumb. Maybe you do see the wisdom in there. Like personally, I try to set it aside as best I can, but I'm not making a strict, you know, legalistic thing. I tend to just leave it at home, but we usually take one phone between the two of us to church, just so you have in case you need it. But I'll leave it in the car or something, right? And then I'll pick it up more, tends to be after second service, unless you have people over. Then you don't end up looking at it much till you know 8 o'clock or something.

PH
Indeed. So, you know, to the start of the decision-making process for what to do with all the tech on the Lord's Day has to be what's going on in your heart. What what's what am I trying to do with the tech? What what's my goal here? What am I, why do I want access or don't want access to it? To avoid legalism, you have to know why you're doing what you're doing, and then do it with the integrity of your heart. So, yes, I think everyone needs to be making their own decision here. Like, is it is it right or wrong to have a cell phone in your pocket at church? In and of itself, it's not right or wrong. For the one person, it may be the wiser way to celebrate the Lord's Day because to have a phone in their pocket, they're more distracted. They can't not hear the thing vibrate. They can't not check email. They can't not answer a text. They're better off leaving it plugged in at home. For the next person, it's not a bother, and they don't have that kind of connection with their phone, and they actually have their Book of Praise on their phone, so they and they e transfer their amounts for the deaconry from their phone. So this is where you we need to leave each other free. Like if a practice by itself is not contravening the Lord's Day or some principle of Scripture. Then we need to leave each other free. But this is where I would encourage us to think in terms of best practices. And again, you have to start with the purpose of the Lord's day. What's going on in your heart? What's going on in my heart? You know, for us, and you know that. Like growing up, we just had a house rule, and I tried to explain that to you, you kids, that it was a house rule that we weren't going to watch, weren't going to have screens. We're just keeping all screens off. Like it was even before the cell phone thing, but we worked the cell phones into it. Why? So that we were distraction free, and we could give our time and attention to worship and to fellowship; those were that was sort of thing. And I made a point, at least I tried to, you know, telling you and your siblings, look, other people might decide it's okay to watch, be it TV or a movie or something on a Sunday evening or whatever it was. And I'm not saying that's a sin. I'm just saying, your mom and I don't think that's best practice, and certainly for our family, we don't think that's a good practice. So we're just keeping the screens off. Also, when the sports were on, like we didn't watch, as you know, somewhat to your chagrin, if I recall, Stanley Cup playoffs, we didn't we didn't have the TV on Sundays. World Cup, we just didn't have the TV on, and that was an effort to keep the distraction away and to show, indeed, or to honor the Lord. So the focus was on the Lord. So we all have to give that thought, and again, we all have to answer for these things. So we should we need to be honest before the Lord. We have to have a humility also toward other people. Like the practice in our home doesn't mean doesn't set the standard for the practice in somebody else's home, right? There are such a thing as house rules, which may be good and beneficial for our home, but they're not mandatory for the next home and we have to be careful that we don't impose that on each other.

LH
Yeah, transpose those over. Is that kind of like when Paul talks about like not what is the passage there where it's like if your brother if they have if it hurts their conscience like don't press them on it sort of like the eating or the following the ceremonial laws

PH
Romans 14 is a bit tricky because it's very… Romans 14 is about those who were Jewish Christians taking what they believed were mandatory things from God's from the Mosaic laws and imposing them on fellow Christians who didn't think they were mandatory.

LH
Ah, okay.

PH
I think that's a bit of a different kettle of fish than me saying to you, "Look, you can't watch TV at all because I think it's wrong.” That's a different. I think Romans 14 isn't about that.

LH
Okay, it's saying don't burden your brother sister their conscience. That whole idea, or is not that's not the idea.

PH
Well, I the Bible does not give me any right to say to you that what I deem to be appropriate for my family, in this case, not watching TV, is therefore mandatory on your family. I may not say that, right, and that's why I'm very careful to say it's not a sin, I just don't think it's best practice for the Lord's Day. And that’s what I'm doing. I'm in charge of my house, so I have to. That's how we're doing it here. And maybe you can just you know later on you can tell me what's best what you think is best practice, and we can talk about it.

LH
Yeah, you can engage on the principles at play there.

PH
And I might and I might change my mind later on and say you know what maybe your practice is actually better than mine. I've observed by the way, and I think that's really good to take a look around what other people are doing? Serious Christians. How are they celebrating and honoring the Lord's Day? Are there things to be learned? Can we benefit from how they're thinking about it? Let's talk with each other. What are the thoughts about how? What are best practices to honor the Lord's Day? Yeah. Wouldn't that be an uplifting thing for all of us?

LH
Totally. Yeah. Because it can get stale over time too, right? If you think that oh no, I've kind of figured it out, and this is how it's done, right? And then it just becomes this rote thing, and yeah, you have to has to be living in your heart and considering it more often. What about I know I said we're almost at the end here, but there's one other maybe good one to touch on, which is just this the idol of family, and how we talk a lot about fellowship, right, in this episode, and that is good and well to engage in fellowship with family, with friends, with believers in the church, and or anybody really in that regard. But are we at a danger of making an idol out of family? Because that's, I think, culturally, like it's you mentioned sports for sure, that's a massive one where the world tries to fill the hole of the seventh day and put entertainment in there, but I think if you say like if you try to defend your Sunday position as someone else who's not a Christian, you say, oh, like we go to church and we spend time with family, and you know. Not saying you're a bad person, we just this is how we do it, and these are the things we spend our time on. And people kind of get that, but I think there's just like a real high value of a family in that context, and is that something we should be aware of as Christians and think through?

PH
Yes, I think we should be aware of it. I think it's something we can fall into, like when if we have a large family and we have adult kids in our own congregation, it would be very, let's say, easy, natural, just to have our family over for coffee after services. A lot of us have a custom of having coffee after the morning service, and then your yeah your family comes over if they're available, or they might come for supper, and then what happens is not by choice, like not by a deliberate decision, but other people don't get invited because you've already got people coming over. And I do know I've that some people even think of Sunday. Well, Sunday is a family day, and then I would just say I would just caution to say, look, it's beautiful that you that that we, you, we celebrate the Lord's Day with family, but trying to broaden that out. Like, don't forget the family of God. The family of God is of critical importance, and I recognize your blood family is often part of the family of God. But can we look beyond our families to see the needs of others in the congregation? Because if we only focus on our families, we do run the danger of having cliques where we're just about we basically have a little you know taken to its extreme you have a church within the church basically this large family hangs together and not a lot of people are interpenetrate that circle that'd be an extreme that wouldn't be healthy.

LH
No.

PH
I think we want to honor the whole body of Christ. We want to that would be healthy if we interact with more people and we have people over, we go to their homes if we get invited. If there is a social activity, sometimes there's a fellowship activity on a Sunday night. The young people might have a games night, or somebody says, "Oh, there's an open house at our in our backyard tonight” on a nice summer evening. Well, then you know, then you go there. Please don't stay home and say, "Well, it's our family night”, and you never show up at these events. So yes, there's a risk of it. I I'd never have met anybody that is let's say doing that on purpose. It didn't fall into it. So let's everyone just give it a thought and see if we can expand the love to include the whole body of Christ.

LH
Yep. Cool. Okay. Well, I think we covered a ton of ground. Come back to the theme of heart posture and being honest with yourself and before your Maker, and obviously just noting the importance of this holy day that is set apart and how that starts in creation and continues all the way through. So thanks for coming on. Appreciate it. That was, yeah, a lot of fun to kind of walk through this with you and hope people enjoyed it. We probably didn't get to every last little piece of the outline and all the questions we had. But I think we covered a lot of the core themes here, and if you're still listening at this point, I hope you really enjoyed it because it was probably a long one. And yeah, if you have any questions, comments, concerns, send them in, and if we need more discussion on this, we're happy to do so as well. And don't forget to check out Foundations if you're interested in purchasing a copy at Reformed Book Services. So thanks, Dad. Appreciate it. Thank you. Thanks, listeners. Till next time, Real Talk.

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Politics

Perhaps you should run

Obedience belongs to us. The results belong to the Lord. ***** Every four years, for a brief season, nomination papers open and the question becomes concrete: who will step forward to govern our towns and cities? Budgets and bylaws will be passed, libraries and parks funded, streets and neighborhoods planned, and public moral judgments made. Decisions will be made. The question is, by whom, and according to what vision of justice and the public good? I write to suggest that some of you should step forward, and that those who do must let God’s Word govern the campaign and leave the result to the Lord. I write this while running for municipal council in my home city of Peterborough, Ontario. I do not write from the safety of hindsight. The campaign is underway, and whatever attention or pressure may come as election day approaches has not yet come. That is part of why I want to think clearly now. I have said that I am not running despite being a Christian, but because I am a Christian. I believe public office is a responsibility before God and a trust from the people. That means honesty, stewardship, justice, neighbor-love, and service. That confession must govern my campaign, my exercise of office if elected, and my response to the result if not. Furthermore, that confession raises a more basic question. Is Christian faith merely a private motive a candidate brings into politics, or is civil office itself under Christ? The prevailing ideal of religious neutrality draws the line there: Christians may hold office, but they must not insist that God’s Word governs the office. Scripture and our confessions reject that division. “I don’t have enough time” Perhaps your first objection is your calendar. You have a job, perhaps two. You have children. You serve as an elder or deacon, sit on a school board, help govern a Christian organization, teach Sunday school or catechism, care for aging parents, practice hospitality, and seek opportunities for evangelism. You already have more good work before you than hours in which to do it. Those responsibilities may be why you should not run. But municipal elections generally come only every four years. The opportunity to stand is not permanently available, and for many of us a truly quiet calendar is not a few months away but decades away. If we wait until our responsibilities have thinned out and life finally feels manageable, the nomination period will have closed and someone else will have stepped forward. Scripture warns us against burying w hat has been entrusted to us, and it tells us that whoever knows the good he ought to do and fails to do it sins. That does not mean every capable Christian is commanded to become a candidate. Capability is not identical to calling. But capability does create a responsibility to discern. I ran as a federal candidate in 2021. I did not win. Campaigning did take time. Yet I learned that public service need not simply subtract from family life. At times it can be woven into it. My family came with me to rallies, debates, and candidate events. They helped deliver literature. My oldest daughter baked cupcakes for the campaign. We traveled, talked, worked, and learned together. Time itself is finite, but family life is not simply a ledger in which every hour spent in public service is an hour stolen from one’s children. A child who comes to a debate, helps deliver flyers, watches his father speak with an opponent, or prays for an election is not necessarily being deprived of family life. He may be receiving a memorable form of Christian instruction. The campaign became part of our life together. My children saw that public responsibility was not merely something their father discussed at the dinner table. It was something a Christian family could practice. This must not be romanticized. A man who neglects his wife and children while claiming to save the country has misunderstood Christian service. A wife should not be steamrolled by political ambition, and children should not be treated as campaign props. Some families are in seasons when candidacy would plainly be irresponsible. Still, “I have a family” or “I am already serving” should not always end the discussion. When the cost became personal After the 2021 federal election, the Peterborough Public Library began hosting “Drag Queen Story Time” events for children. A friend and I organized two peaceful protests, one in September 2022 and another in January 2023. We said publicly that God made human beings male and female, that this created distinction is good, and that deliberately blurring it is harmful, particularly when children are involved. In the days before, during, and after the second protest, the opposition became much more intense and personal. Some people involved in the counter-protest found my employer through LinkedIn. They tweeted at the company, telephoned, and tried to have me fired. That was wicked behavior. I wish I could say that I met the pressure with calm confidence. I did not. When people began contacting my employer, the possible cost was no longer theoretical. I had a wife and nine children to provide for. I found myself thinking about what would happen if I lost my job and how I would continue caring for them. I was afraid, and I am ashamed that I did not trust God’s fatherly care more readily. Thankfully, I did not withdraw what I had said or abandon the stand we had taken, and I discovered then that willingness in principle, and steadiness under pressure, are not quite the same thing. Courage is not the absence of fear. It is obedience while fear is still present. In the end, I was not fired, although I was placed under pressure at work. That experience made me more active in seeking other employment. In time, an opportunity arose with ARPA Canada. The public advocacy that some people had tried to make a professional liability became an asset and part of the experience that fitted me for my present work. There was other good as well. My friend and I were quoted in the local newspaper saying plainly that God made human beings male and female, and that this is good. My friend was later interviewed on national radio, where he had a further opportunity to speak about the issue. The truth about God’s created order went out more widely than it otherwise might have. We did not persuade the library to stop hosting “Drag Queen Story Time,” so we did not achieve the immediate result we had sought. But silence did not have the last word. God has not promised that every Christian who speaks publicly will keep his job or quickly receive a better one. Faithful Christians have lost employment, income, professional standing, friendships, and much more. But, as Lord’s Day 10 teaches, “all things, in fact, come to us not by chance but by his fatherly hand.” I can now identify several ways the Lord used that period for good. At the time, I could not see them. That is often the nature of obedience. We are called to obey before we are shown what the Lord intends to do with it. An opportunity to speak plainly Running for office can give you the opportunity to share truth with people you might never otherwise communicate with. I am now in another campaign, and if attention increases as election day approaches, I expect some questions concerning my previous advocacy, and my Christian beliefs. I welcome those questions. If reporters, voters, or opponents ask me about abortion, transgender ideology, drag events directed at children, or my belief that Jesus Christ is Lord of public life, I hope to answer plainly. Public attention can bring pressure, but it can also widen the audience for truth. The concern is not that people may discover what I believe. The concern is whether, when pressed, I will speak with the clarity, charity, and confidence that those beliefs require. Honest scrutiny is not persecution. A candidate asks the public to entrust him with authority. Voters and journalists are entitled to ask about his record, beliefs, judgment, and character. Some criticism may be true and necessary for me to hear. A difficult question is not an attack simply because I would have preferred an easier one. There is, however, a subtler danger. A candidate can begin responding to opposition before it arrives. He imagines the headline, the social-media campaign, the accusation of bigotry, or the votes that may be lost. Then he edits himself in advance. No one has ordered him to deny what he believes. He simply learns to say less and less of substance. A Christian who had worked on many political campaigns once told me about a pro-life candidate who had spent years counseling women outside an abortion clinic. Her faith and concern for preborn children were central to why she was running, and the first draft of her brochure said so. Then came a series of individually plausible revisions. The campaign did not want her to appear to be a one-issue candidate. Voters needed to learn more about her family and background. Some of the material about abortion no longer seemed to fit the brochure’s tone. By about the tenth draft, the brochure described a brave and bold woman who would defend the oppressed, but it no longer told voters what she had spent years bravely doing. Nothing in the handout was an explicit lie. Yet the overall picture was no longer candid. A campaign message must be selective. It may not be deceptive. That is why the 9th Commandment matters so much. Prudence asks how, when, and where a relevant truth should be spoken. Fear asks how much truth can be removed while leaving every remaining sentence technically accurate. A candidate under the 9th Commandment The Heidelberg Catechism’s Lord’s Day 43, in unpacking the 9th Commandment, treats lying and deceit as works of the devil. We are taught that God is forbidding here not only false testimony, but also twisting another’s words, gossip, slander, and rash condemnation. Positively, the 9th Commandment requires us to love the truth, speak it candidly, and defend and advance our neighbor’s honor and reputation. That is a demanding political ethic. It means a Christian candidate not only shouldn’t tell explicit falsehoods, he mustn’t even deliberately cultivate a false impression. Obviously, a Christian candidate will not be able to include everything he believes in every campaign piece. But he should ask whether a reasonable voter would feel deceived if an omitted conviction became public the next day. When asked a direct and relevant question, he should answer it rather than hide behind words designed to leave opposite audiences with opposite impressions. The same commandment governs how we speak about our opponents. Christians on the political right are not immune to gossip, exaggeration, rash judgment, or caricature. We may call abortion the killing of preborn children. We may say that gender ideology rebels against the created order. We may identify attempts to have a man fired for lawful Christian speech as wicked. The 9th Commandment calls for moral clarity. We may not twist an opponent’s words, invent motives, repeat allegations we have not verified, or treat every person on the other side as though he were guilty of everything done by anyone associated with his cause. We may oppose a policy as foolish, unjust, destructive, or contrary to God’s law without pretending to know every motive in the heart of the person promoting it. The commandment also requires truthfulness about the office itself. Candidates should not promise powers the office does not possess. A municipal councillor must not pretend to be able to solve every social problem, command every public institution, or repair every failure of federal and provincial government. Exaggerating our own authority is also a form of false witness. Finally, the commandment applies when falsehood favors us. If supporters exaggerate our accomplishments, circulate an untrue allegation against an opponent, or attribute an endorsement we did not receive, we may not quietly enjoy the advantage. We should correct flattering falsehoods as readily as accusations made against us. The Christian candidate should be difficult to intimidate and difficult to provoke. He should refuse both cowardly concealment and slanderous combativeness. Why municipal office? Municipal politics may offer a particular opportunity for principled Christian service. Municipal elections in Ontario are non-partisan, so candidates do not run under formal party banners. That removes one important part of the machinery of compromise. A municipal councillor is not formally required to defend an entire federal or provincial platform, submit to a party leader, or vote according to the direction of a caucus whip. He can own his judgment and explain his vote issue by issue. That can make it easier to act as a principled Christian. It does not make faithfulness easy. There are still media narratives, activist groups, professional associations, donors, influential residents, council colleagues, city staff, and informal voting blocs. There is still the desire to be liked. There is still the fear of being treated as unreasonable, extreme, ignorant, or hateful. In some ways, municipal pressure can be more personal. There is no national party organization absorbing the criticism. The councillor meets his opponents at the grocery store, the arena, the library, and the school event. The people affected by his decisions may be his neighbors, former colleagues, customers, fellow church members, or parents whose children play with his own. Municipal independence therefore creates both an opportunity and a responsibility. A councillor has greater freedom to act according to principle, but he also has fewer excuses when he does not. Municipal government is also wonderfully concrete. It concerns public order, roads, taxes, libraries, parks, planning, policing budgets, infrastructure, and whether families can use public spaces in safety. Christian political involvement cannot be limited to dramatic protests or national controversies. We also need Christians who will read reports, steward tax dollars, protect neighborhoods, maintain good order, and carry out ordinary public duties faithfully. A Christian candidate should be prepared not only to advocate or protest, but to govern. Obedience and results The author, in front of where he seeks to serve: “A candidate should take the office seriously and take his campaign seriously too, genuinely seek to win. You want to win because winning provides an opportunity to govern. But victory must remain a means of service rather than becoming a god.” A phrase I once heard in a sermon has stayed with me: “Obedience belongs to us. The results belong to the Lord.” Proverbs 21:31 expresses the same truth: “The horse is prepared for the day of battle, but deliverance is of the Lord.” That horse must still be prepared. Confidence in providence is not an excuse for carelessness, passivity, or half-hearted work. A candidate should take the office seriously and take his campaign seriously too, genuinely seek to win. You want to win because winning provides an opportunity to govern. But victory must remain a means of service rather than becoming a god. Victory does not vindicate sinful methods, and defeat does not transform poor preparation, unnecessary harshness, or dishonesty into faithfulness. My loss in the 2021 federal election did not mean that the candidacy had been pointless. It formed my family, gave me experience, and contributed to later opportunities. Yet I could not know those results in advance. I was responsible to act faithfully and leave the consequences to God. The same is true now. I do not know whether I will win my municipal election. I do not know what attention or pressure may come before election day. I do know that Christ’s lordship will not be strengthened by my victory or weakened by my defeat. Perhaps you should run Our churches contain men who manage employees, read financial statements, chair meetings, teach clearly, withstand conflict, make difficult decisions, and carry heavy responsibilities. Some serve as elders or deacons. Others sit on school boards, own businesses, work in the trades, farm, practise law, teach, manage organizations, or serve in the professions. Those existing responsibilities may be reasons not to run, but they may also be evidence that God has given you gifts public office requires. You need not already be an expert in municipal law or public finance. Much of that can be learned. The question is not whether you are already a fully formed politician. It is whether the Lord has given you something your neighbors presently need. It is therefore worth asking whether refusing to step forward could itself sometimes be unfaithful. That question should not be answered quickly, but with prayer, Scripture, counsel from family and church leadership, and honest examination of motive. Are you declining because you already carry responsibilities that must not be abandoned, or because political office is public, costly, and likely to bring criticism? Are you guarding your family, or guarding your comfort? Are you exercising humility, or burying a talent? You may never have spare time. You may not feel fearless. You may lose. Do not confuse ambition with calling or candidacy with entitlement to office. But if, after prayer and counsel, you believe God is calling you to offer yourself as a candidate, step forward. Speak plainly. Tell the truth about yourself, your opponents, and the office. Defend your neighbor’s good name. Refuse to make public approval your master or electoral victory your god. Someone will govern your community, and that government will act from some moral vision. The question is which one. Obedience belongs to us. The results belong to the Lord. Paul Lawton wrote this while running for municipal council in Peterborough, Ontario. You can find his campaign website here. The sidebar article that accompanies his article in the Sept/Oct 2026 issue can be found below.   *****   Christ is Lord of the magistrate too The apostle John calls Jesus Christ “the ruler of the kings of the earth.” Psalm 2 commands kings and judges to serve the Lord with fear and to kiss the Son. Civil rulers are not autonomous authorities who may acknowledge God if they find it personally meaningful. They are servants who receive their authority from Him and will answer to Him. Belgic Confession Article 36 speaks with refreshing directness: “…because of the depravity of the human race, our good God has ordained kings, princes, and civil officers. He wants the world to be governed by laws and policies so that human lawlessness may be restrained and that everything may be conducted in good order among human beings.” The Confession does not stop at saying that government should keep traffic moving and prevent theft. It says that civil rulers are called “to contribute to the advancement of a society that is pleasing to God.” They are to act subject to God’s law, remove obstacles to the preaching of the gospel and divine worship, resist anti-Christian power, and do so while refraining from absolute authority and remaining within the office entrusted to them. This is neither statism nor religious neutrality. The magistrate does not administer the sacraments or exercise ecclesiastical discipline. Those responsibilities belong to Christ’s church. Yet civil rulers are not therefore free to act as though Christ has no claim on public life. They should acknowledge Christ, govern subject to God’s law, protect the free course of the Word, and resist anti-Christian power by the lawful means entrusted to their office. The magistrate must not usurp the government of the church, but neither may he pretend that civil government is religiously neutral. A Christian understanding of government therefore includes the restraint of evil, the protection of the good, the preservation of public order, the honoring of marriage and family, respect for private property, the protection of preborn children, and recognition of the created distinction between male and female. It also includes the restraint of government itself. Civil rulers are not saviors, and their authority is never absolute. Some of these matters are primarily the responsibility of federal or provincial government, rather than municipal. A city council cannot change Canada’s Criminal Code or determine federal abortion law, for example. But no municipal decision falls outside God’s moral order. At times the moral vision is unmistakable, as when councils fund Pride events, fly the Progress Pride flag on civic property, or use municipal bylaws to restrict the delivery of pro-life literature depicting the victims of abortion. More often, that moral vision is expressed less dramatically through decisions about libraries, public spaces, policing budgets, taxation, zoning, neighborhoods, and the treatment of families. In either case, council is acting from some view of the human person and of what a good society ought to be. Because Christ is Lord, politics matters. Because Christ is Savior, politics cannot save. That should make Christians more willing to serve and less willing to compromise. We can work seriously for a good political result without acting as though an election decides the fate of Christ’s kingdom....

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Being the Church

Real Talk: Work is worship

This episode can also be found on your favorite podcast platform: Spotify, Apple, Podbean, Amazon Music or on our website. Be sure to subscribe to our YouTube channel and our podcast profiles so you can be notified when new episodes are released. Please note that this transcript below was automatically generated and lightly edited so it may contain some errors. ***** Opening What if we've misunderstood work? For many Christians, faith feels clear on Sunday, but disconnected from Monday to Saturday. Yet most of our lives aren't lived in a church service, but in the workplace. And work is not neutral; it's formative, and it shapes our character, our decisions, and who we're becoming. That's why mentorship in business and leadership matters so much. People don't just need ideas; they need examples of faithful, God-honoring work in practice. In this episode, we're joined by Mark Wanders and Ben Nobels from Six Days, a new organization committed to helping Christians connect and grow in all their labors. We're talking about recovering a right understanding of work, not just as a job or a paycheck, but a place of mission and obedience to God in the everyday. A big thanks to our official sponsor Trivan for making this conversation possible. Now on to the show. Intro The world's changing fast, but what questions should we really be asking? You're listening to Real Talk, a podcast presented by Reformed Perspective, where we take God's Word and apply it to the nitty-gritty of life. Buckle up for real questions, real answers, and real direction. This is Real Talk. Lucas Holtvluwer Mark and Ben, welcome to the show. Great to have you guys here. Ben Nobels Thank you. Thank you so much. It's great to be here. LH Yeah, it's an honor and a privilege, man. Appreciate you guys making the time. And yeah, so today we're talking about work, as you guys would have just heard in the intro for the listeners. And these two gentlemen are from an organization called Six Days, and we'll get into more about what Six Days is doing and whatnot later in the episode. But we wanted to really center this episode, excuse me, on this idea of work and what it means to do your job every day, and how to ensure that that's connected to what we experience on Sundays, of course, and making sure our faith is intertwined with our work. So we've done some episodes in this before in terms of talking about entrepreneurship. We had the gentleman from Eagle Builders down here, and we kind of heard their story, and that was great as well. But this I thought was a great chance to get someone who's younger in the business world, a fellow younger guy in business, and then a more experienced vet, not old, but experienced vet, Mark, to kind of speak to some of the challenges that we face as Christians, maybe even specifically as Reformed Christians in the marketplace, whether that's building business, working for a business, or in the public sector, wherever God's called you, right? So, yeah, maybe if you guys just want to start off the top. How did you two kind of link up in this endeavor? I know your backstory perhaps is longer, but talk to us a little bit about the hole you saw in the marketplace or the problem you perceived, and what you guys kind of thought about that. BN Okay, very. It is a long story I'll try to keep it... But yeah, so it goes back to actually the beginning of last year when I started my business, and through a mutual connection, somehow by God's grace, I ended up on a phone call with this fella, and it was like totally happenstance. There, we've never chat chatted before ever, right?I don't think we've ever even met. I might have seen you around, but I think that's the extent of it. And we ended up on a phone conversation, and I was walking around my… I remember so clearly. I was walking around my backyard talking to this Mark fella. I was like, I don't even know who he is, but I like his ideas. And we were just chatting about work and all these different ideas, and then I brought up this concept that I had been thinking of for eight years, called Six Days, and we kind of latched onto it, and we ended up talking about it for like an hour, and again, never met the guy. Anyway, so that's that was where it started, and the concept of Six Days, I was working and just starting out a business and trying to grow it and just trying to figure out what it means to be a Christian entrepreneur. And then a couple days later, he texts me and he says, "You've got a lot going on. Would having a mentor help?” And I was like, "Yep, that sounds amazing.” I didn't even know that. I had no idea what a mentor was or what it would look like. I just knew that I needed something because I felt like I was kind of flying blind, just trying to make things up as I went along. And obviously, ChatGPT was helping me along, but there's only so much that AI can do, and only so much trust you can have in it. Anyway, so we ended up meeting monthly at his shop, and we would we would sit down, and Mark would mentor me and walk me through not just the business aspect, but also the relational aspect, where like how I interact with my wife, how I interact with my children, what it means to be a father while you're providing for your family. There are some really big lessons in there that have totally shaped the way that I have approached entrepreneurship and running a business, and also how that interacts with the rest of my life, and all from all from a very Bible centric perspective, and it's been such a blessing. LH Awesome. So you guys connect kind of right away off this first phone call. You kind of form this mentorship mentee, mentor mentee relationship there, but specific to the idea for six days, what was it exactly that you guys connected on, and what did you see that there was an opportunity for to help out people, well, most of us in the working world in in the church? BN Well, there was that aspect of where I was sitting, right? So, as a young guy, I had only ever worked for other people. I had done side hustles here and there, but that doesn't-they didn't really count. LH Not full time. BN Not full time ever. So he, there was there was this conversation about what is work really, as a Christian, like what when you're starting a business, what's your what's your goals and ambitions? How do you align them properly with the Word of God? How do you understand what the Word of God actually teaches? Because there's so many external implications, or external forces acting on people, obviously in the world and young guys who are very much connected on the internet, watching YouTube videos, listening to podcasts, not always Real Talk. LH No, not always, no. BN You know, sorry about that. But there's other podcasts too that we listen to, right? And there's so much influence. So how do we how do we kind of break away from that and not allow it to shape us, but allow scripture to shape us as we do these things. LH So you're wrestling through all that as a young man, in your first year of business. BN Yeah, and one of the things that we both… Mark Wanders You see where I had to slow him down a little bit? No, but there was so many things going on in the world. We had this one hour conversation, yeah, and I'm like, whoa, this guy's got so many moving parts here. Let's just let's just calm this down. And then inside of this first in-person meeting that we had, I heard about. First of all, he was working in a factory, right? BN Yeah, kind of. MW Of sorts. Sort of. You were doing like what you liked, sort of. But then he had a business that he was starting. It was more like a side hustle at the time, and then and then I heard about this six days thing that had been shelved, sitting up there for eight years? And when he kind of unpacked it for me, I was like, "What are you doing? Like this thing needs to come off the shelf. Give it some legs, and or give it some wings, really. And let's see this thing fly.” I did not know he'd invite me into the, the ring, so to speak. But that was where he was at. So we sat down with these multiple strands of ideas, and we dialed it down and said, "All right, let's start somewhere. Like you've got a lot of moving parts. Let's take this thing and unpack it.” Not one at a time, but sometimes one at a time. LH What drew you to the idea originally when you guys were talking? MW Well, I mean, I did like his passion. I mean, he was passionate on the phone, and he was also frustrated. I could hear it in his voice because he was working for somebody. I mean, there's nothing wrong with working for somebody, but when like, I think when there's an entrepreneurial fire in you, you might as well feed that, and I could I could sense that in him, and um, that's where I was like, this guy needs to be kind of unchained, like out of out of where he's at… LH Let him loose! MW Yeah, and he had a lot of creativity and a lot of excitement. I'm like, I'm like, that needs to be like that can be channeled like where could that go right? Within our first few meetings too we also said like we set some goals and he was he was exceeding them. He’s like I want to move into for example three days of doing my own thing and it was like no time it was five and he's like I'm giving my boss notification and so on, and he stepped up, stepped up, stepped up every time, and that was that was impressive to see that, and I was like, exciting to be alongside that, and in the midst of this business starting up that he had of his own, Sender Creative, right, was also the Six Days that started to mobilize, but that was still a lot of from pulling it off the shelf. It needed some structure put around it, right, to get it to be formatted towards public presentation, so to speak. BN Yeah, and in that initial conversation, I think we both kind of latched onto this concept that work is worshp. MW Yes, there was that was an alignment there for sure. You and I were like, "Whoa, yeah, 100%.” I'm like, "This is a young guy understanding that you worship on Sunday, and then that flows into your week.” Yeah, like that is so good. So we had an alignment there, yeah, which was also felt on the on the phone. We're just you know when you pick up the phone with somebody and you all of a sudden you have these alignment things. You're like, okay, this is good. Here is not only say for an excitement to do something with our work, but also when you are bound up in like the foundational pieces of the anchor in Jesus Christ. And we had that, and I was also excited about that in a young guy, young family, young guy, big ideas, and grounded in Christ. So, like, here is a guy, you know, if… and even the idea to say, "Hey, can I mentor you?” type of thing, it was newer for me. I had done it more in the in the say Bible studies and church setting, discipleship groups, that kind of thing. But in the business setting, was less, and just the fact I'm like, okay, well, I think I've gone a few steps ahead of you in business and so on. Maybe there's something here that.. LH You could help him with. BN Oh yeah, I jumped at the opportunity. MW And it's interesting. You also mentioned because you already tied in family and faith. So I mean, it's really hard to pull apart. Well, work is over here, family's over there, or even just marriage. If you don't have a family, you got your work, your family, your marriage, your faith, and they don't. They're not all these separate boxes, separate spheres. They all overlap. Right, and that's where when we were in the mentoring setting, it's taking all those things. And sometimes we would spend a whole session talking about, "Hey, here's what's going on at home. I got some... BN I goofed up, Mark. Mark, I did this thing… that was funny. I did this thing, and my wife - I don't know what's going on. Mark's like, “Ben, just walk me through what you did.” MW So, how many guys are running companies, and if there's a frustration at home, it directly impacts your work? LH Probably quite a few. MW And then to just lean into somebody and saying like, "Is this okay? or "Where did I screw up?” or "Whoa, did I screw up? How do I deal with it?” So, and I think that that becomes like the mentorship, discipleship. I mean, it's a biblical thing. Discipling, you know, the older discipling the younger, whether it's women or men, and in the context of work, I think that that's a beautiful thing, and then the recognition of that as well. LH Okay. So you guys link up, and you're both. I mean, you're definitely benefiting from it. I'm sure you enjoyed providing that that counsel and that that mentorship as well. But specifically on the this idea of Six Days, like, what is it, and what is it? Why is it put out there in reaction to? Like, because you guys were able to kind of just do this somewhat, you know, naturally, and there wasn't any sort of structure in place to make that happen. But do you see like the need for more mentorship or more connection, or like what kind of drew you to this whole idea? Maybe just explain a little bit about what Six Days has going on that way. BN Yeah, well, a lot of it comes from my own struggles through growing up, becoming a man, having my own family, and providing for them. Right? You kind of you end up very easily having a perspective about what work is. And it's not always right. And if it's not guided, it chances are it will be wrong. So there was a there was a gap there where I knew that the Bible said stuff about work. I just didn't fully understand what it was or how to apply it. So there was that kind of tension there for me, and the mentorship that Mark gave me, and as he was giving it to me, the Six Days ball started really turning right because I was just like, oh my goodness, what a what a blessing this is! Like, okay, what about those people who might have been in a similar situation and not had the access to something like this, right? And then I was just like, okay, this whole Six Days idea that goes way back eight years. The idea was originally just a just a directory, right? Just to help people find businesses, help businesses find people. I want to roll that into it for sure. Like that needs to be a part of it because if we're going to build an online community centered around businesses in our circles, what more benefit could we really bring people than making those connections between people who have experience, and there's tons of guys in our circles, tons of business owners with just unreal amounts of experience and wisdom, and they would probably love to have opportunities to share that with other people. So that just became the next kind of part of the vision of what it what benefit it could bring, right. So I was like, I'm not just going to build this website for people to connect. I was like, how, how, like, what's the point if there's no broader vision? So what's the next step, the mentorship thing. And then there were some other talks about how else, how else it could really bless people. And one of them was, or one of the other ones, was helping people understand what work is as a Christian. I knew I struggled with understanding that, and I still don't have all the answers, of course. But I'm on a journey right now. I want to find people, and I want to learn, and I want to share what I learn with other people as well. So it's uh, yeah the the The potential is huge for that area. MW I want to throw something in too, Lucas. You were saying the benefit to Ben. Yeah. But there's always a benefit to like it's a mutual benefit for sure. It's huge there. Like in the meantime, there was a lot of growth in my own life because there's the constant, you know, old saying: when you when you teach it, you learn it twice. So even just to review, to think about, to be challenged with what's going on in his world, and then self reflecting on that as well. That's huge. So, you know, discipleship, mentoring, whatever it is, there is that mutual piece to it where there's a growth in your own life as well. And again, the attraction with Six Days being, you know, as it says right on the on the homepage, hub for Christian businesses, really like that. It has the invitation there to be the place that you can find other Christian businesses, yeah. Which I think it could be some are just like, "Hey, I got a spot to place an ad. Great.” And they're not thinking about the let's say the mutual aspect of the mentoring and the coming alongside or the you know helping out when stuck and so on. And I think that's where that still has to be exposed a little bit, and that's where first it's building up a little bit of the community, yeah, and then you know bringing that community along towards greater ideas, which also comes out through the newsletter.. there's a weekly or monthly. What is it? A monthly? BN I don't really have a schedule. Just kind of send out some emails when I feel like it. LH When you feel it's fun. BN No, once a month is the plan. Once every two weeks is kind of what's happening, just because there are things moving and announcements and stuff. So it's not always there's different aspects. LH So there's, if I'm hearing you guys correctly, there's kind of three things I'm hearing so far. There's this initial connection, a directory portion of it, essentially, right? There's the need for like businesses to know if other businesses exist around them who are Christians who could be complementary or like you know if you're in the trades as an easy example, and you're a drywall, and you know there's a plumber over here, and like so that kind of thing. We have that on a lighter level, I would say. Like if I think about our context here in Southern Ontario, you kind of know what some of the different Reformed businesses are, even just general Christian businesses, right? Because it's not like a strictly Reformed thing at this point, and that's kind of I don't know if that's to be determined, or we'll see where that kind of goes. But there's so there's that connection element there, right? And then there's the kind of the content side of it too, of just like pushing out like thought pieces. Like because I think you had a devotional I saw online a while back, so kind of that element, which is cool, like getting people to think about it and start their start their Friday reading a little what a blurb about how their job could connect to the scripture and whatnot. Yeah, yeah. And then there's so we got the we got the two aspects there, and those and those are important too, right? And then the third one would be that mentorship as well, that discipleship that you guys talk about, and kind of that's again this is initial stages of you guys getting this off the ground. So sounds like a lot of these are just cool ideas to kind of put out there. But would it be fair to say that you kind of got to get that initial connection and buy-in from people in order to make this make this a thing? BN Yes, yes, and there's a financial aspect of it as well, right? In order to really make the most of what's all available, in order to make connections and to do all this stuff, there needs to be some element at play there, where we can actually support people doing the mentorships, right? So part of part of what I want to do is like sponsor people who are going through a mentorship with somebody, right? In some cases, the mentor and mentee, like that's just a friendship, sort of a mutual beneficial. But in some cases, I think that there's a ton of potential for a paid position as a mentor, and I would love to see funding for that kind of thing happen. LH Do you think that mentors would go for that? Like I don't know. Like I'd be interested what you think about that, Mark. If you guys have talked about that idea because I feel like most mentors are not hurting for money, but they would love to give away. MW I’ve been wrestling with that. I kind of have something in the making right now, and I've been tossing around: is it is it something you put out there as a ministry with like without a cost? Is it something you charge for? And sometimes the free is not always an attraction because well, free is non-committal, so that's actually a trail we're on right now. LH You got to make a threshold there. MW And what is the threshold? LH Yeah, I know you can't make it too easy. I would also I would maybe flip it and say like, if you want to be mentored, you got to pony up a little bit. BN Oh, absolutely, yeah. LH But like the mentors themselves, I feel like they're just going to give if they like to give, right? So, if you guys can be a connection point for like people who are both learn, like I mean, like you said, it's mutually beneficial, right? People seeking to learn from each other, both mentor mentee. Like that's, I think that's a cool idea, and that's something we probably don't have enough of. MW What's kind of cool though is also as an older fellow, there's still people older than me, but when you see the younger generation moving forward in business, so the mentor usually is going to be older than the mentee, and my wife and I have done marriage mentoring for years, and we usually like to see couples that are about 10 years ahead mentoring another couple. So if you'd use that same principle in business, you got to be about 10 years up on the other guy. There's nothing more encouraging than to see young guys in business do well and like, “hey, is there any way I can be part of that?” So that is also a little bit of the reward there, because it's a tough economy, it's a tough country to live in, it's a tough province to live in, things are expensive. So if you'd be like, hey, I could save you a little bit of the journey over here, like don't go there, or that's not going to be helpful, or just here's some footings on which to stand as you as you right, and you save a lot of time and energy, and then time is you know a money component there that is also good for older men to say - older men, older women - to be that place in the life of a younger Christian business owner and saying how can I see you flourish, right? So that's exciting as well for an older generation, and I think that could be part of the attraction. Again, we're these are some of the formation pieces, but if Six Days could also be attracting, hey, guys who are saying, “I'll throw my hat in the ring. I've done this for a few decades, and let me know if somebody needs help in this area.” Put some prerequisites around that. What's what are the where do we mentor up to, right? Yeah. So that's part of the attraction that we want to see as well. So that'd be amazing. BN But, at the very least, to just encourage it at the like at basic levels, the concept and the need for mentorship is real. Our culture has said, "Hey, I got my phone, I got ChatGPT, I got all my podcasts, and the Alex Hermosie, and I'm just going to watch these videos, and I'm going to start my business, and that's how I'm going to do it. That's where I was. That's where I started, and then I was I was just given this glimpse into okay. Here's a real human being who's lived through these things, who has a good solid grasp on scripture and can read that into it. The work that you're doing every day is now completely changed. LH Definitely. BN As a Christian, it's a we're doing something different every day. MW Co-creators. BN We are co-creators with the Almighty God. We are taking the blessings that He gives us, and we're multiplying them in a lot of cases, and we're using them to the benefit of others in service to Him, ultimately. LH Yeah, but in doing that, you still need to be as wise as serpents, innocent as doves, and we can all like you can have - I don't want to say Christianese too much - but like there can be, yeah, you can put a bit of a Christianese spin on it, whatever. You still have to go out there and compete in the marketplace. Real life still hits you in the face, and you still got to make a paycheck, sort of thing. BN But are we are we outsourcing our thinking? Yeah, I that's what I'm worried about. LH I would agree. I think there's a danger to that. And so many resources online are like completely secular. But they had like Hermosie as a guy I listen to all the time. Totally got great business advice. But he's not a Christian. BN He's got some bad business advice too. If you're coming at it from a Christian perspective. LH Sure. BN I would argue, there's some things that he said where I was just like, I don't know if a Christian should be following that example, right? and that's where I think there's an opportunity as well. Is yeah, not outsourcing our thinking, like I said, and this is what you guys are doing too here at Real Talk. Like you're taking these concepts, you're taking these people, bringing them in, and just saying like, let's have this discussion because it all needs to happen and yeah, we're in a crazy time in the world where you can post a picture online and 1000s of people will see it, and it's so easy to connect with other people right now, it's crazy, but it's all digital. So let's encourage that in person connection as well. So it's both fronts. Let's hit them both. That's the exciting part. LH I think so. Yeah, as a young guy in business, like knowing that there's other people out there that would be interested in you know giving that advice or whatever, like in community, right? Like that's a whole, huge aspect to what I think you guys are trying to solve for. MW And even if the even if the business wisdom does come from a non-Christian source, that you are also being discipled in discernment. You're extracting the nuggets, and leaving behind what is not godly, not helpful, whatever, right? So that wisdom and discernment comes when you're spending time with spiritual insight, right? LH Well, we have such a like a wealth, like literally wealth within our circles, but like just a wealth of businesses, all these different types, like much higher ratio of business owners than the average public, even, right? Like for guys in business specifically, but even those just in the working world, like if you're in a given trade or you're whatever, a teacher, nurse, like fireman, whatever. There's so many people we know in our churches who also would have the same job. We could give you some advice on how to kind of level up in your career and become better at what you do, sort of thing, right? And having that place to kind of go for that initial, like, oh, who does this again oh okay these people cool yeah let's connect. BN That's all part of the story too right like I've in multiple scenarios it was like I need a business I know I'd love to work for somebody with inner circles I'd love to do this I'd need to hire a plumber I didn't know where to go and that's kind of where part of where it stemmed from. MW And maybe break down a little bit of the, and maybe it's an older mindset, but where we used to kind of build all our own castles and we just set them all beside each other. And how are you doing with yours? And I'm doing with mine. Sometimes it's even look over the shoulder and do the comparison game, as opposed to saying let's crack open our books and how we do this, and yeah, let's see you do well and be excited when someone else does well too. And I think that's a little bit of vulnerability there that we're not always used to. And I think the younger generation is a little bit more of a we thing than a me thing. I think there is a bit more. Let us do this together as opposed to I am going to do this over here on my own. LH Yeah, it is kind of actually a contrast that way, though, because like by like the older generations, they were very good at building institutions, churches, schools, etc. We may or may not have lost some of that inertia or whatever, right? Like, there's some draining support for schools, especially in this area, right? It's like, oh, okay, like, but then I also agree with you that there is more of a we attitude, maybe just in the business front or something too. So it's kind of like two curtains going in different directions. MW You wonder when they were building the churches and schools. I think back home they still had their own gig going on, bu. LH You could be right but there is a lot of intermingling… MW I'm not saying there wasn't any sharing. I'm just saying yeah there was a lot of standalone. LH They put up the walls. MW Yeah, yeah. There were walls put up, and I do think we're seeing that. Like we're gonna, we're - let's face it, we're gonna need each other into the future of what our country is facing. LH Yeah, I agree. MW Times are hard, things are expensive, and it's gonna be leaning in and lending a hand in whatever way, shape, or form that that that looks like. BN Exactly. MW And there is that encouragement of seeing people work together. Like what? Like you were saying earlier, right? You're in these groups on a regular basis that that you meet together and you share the difficulties going on. Like what a what a beautiful set that setup that is for Christian business minds to just sit there, even if it's in the pain of one guy going, okay, what do I do? Yeah, you're not alone in your office or in your bedroom going, how do I provide for my family? You've got six other guys around you that are saying, hey, we've got your back, and let's work through this, right? LH Well, because like we talk about this a lot in preparing for this episode, like how much of a formation zone that work is right, like you're putting, you know, typically at least 40 hours a week in, sort of thing, right? Yep. So that's so much time, and like, do we think about that enough? MW Yes. LH How much it’s forming us, right? BN How much it's forming us, and how much it displays who we are, right? It's a both and, and that's where the mentorship comes in as well. Where I'm walking along. I keep thinking back to the like the apprentice style of learning a trade, right? You're not just… like in back in the day. They often would have lived together. They would have done life together. And this actually also goes back to the recent Reformed Perspective article. Generational businesses, like the importance of walking alongside your children as they're walking, watching you do your business and see how you interact with a difficult customer and how you display honesty and you fix your mistakes that you make honestly, etc. Like the examples could keep going, but like how often is that actually happening? And the mentorship, it's kind of a snippet of that, right? We were only meeting for, I mean, we said like an hour, but it was always two or three hours a month, because we're both talkers, as you can tell. LH Yeah, that makes three of us. BN Oh man. But yeah, you get a snippet of that, and it's just like okay, I can I can speak from my experience. What are you being challenged by? Back in the day, they would have lived together, and the apprentice would look to the master for like learning how to do the skill, learn the trade, but also how to do life, how to take care of their family, be a parent, how to be just a good community member, LH And we have some of that today still, absolutely, but we could do more of that as well. BN I think so. I think we, I think, I think we have some of it, but I think like when you when it comes to the accessibility of technology and information, I think we can give ourselves the feeling that we're getting that, but we're not actually getting it. We're just watching a video. That's where my concern is too. Where it's like, oh yeah, I got all this information. Yeah, but you're not you're not doing it with somebody. There's a big difference between being taught and being mentored. LH Yeah, yeah. No, I know what you mean. There's no, it's not dialogical. It's not back and forth. You're not like reinforcing each other. And oh, okay, yeah. If I learn this lesson, then I have this question for you. BN Yeah. LH Then I come back with that question. You go, I hadn't thought about that. And then here's a new lesson that way. And then yeah, you kind of like keep working it out that way too. BN Totally, yeah. LH Yeah. Okay, so I think okay, so we talked a lot about like kind of what the need was for this kind of service, and so I think it's really cool what you guys are doing there. Maybe a little bit more on this topic of treating work as the primary place of obedience. I think this is a question that we should kind of consider. Like, what does it mean to do that exactly? I know you guys had spent some time thinking about that, maybe, but what does it mean? Treating work as the primary place of obedience. MW I think primary might be, maybe, misleading? It might be too strong. Primary, as in like primary formation. Of course, would happen within the home. And then blessed by your weekly worship. But let's face it. I mean, even what the entity is called Six Days. There are six days you shall labor, and one you rest. So we are spending a significant amount of time doing our work. So it's within that space, and let's not even look at work as say the paycheck now, or the entity, or the enterprise, or the business, but think about work in all the tasks that we do throughout the week. We also rest from our home labors, other than your basic needs on a Sunday, right? A little bit of cooking or whatever, take care of the kids, whatever you need to do. But we're stopping, like the yard work, the cleaning, the fixing, the repairs, you name it. So, work being the obedience there, a primary one of them, as the place of obedience would be like I'm thinking of Christ being our master. Like it is the Lord Christ you are serving. So, and that's pertaining to work. So, that being the case, there's going to be a holy obedience that you would have also as you conduct yourself, and that's a learned and a maturing thing because I think back to years ago how I may have treated people that I'd want to say that was not a good way to do that, right? And you grow in that. And how to forgive quickly, how to take ownership. What, who are the people who are under me that I'm responsible for? Am I clear in my language? Am I clear in my instructions? And part of the taking ownership is even just instead of pushing the blame on someone else, pointing the blame and saying, "No, that that's actually on me. I'll take responsibility.” Especially if you're a business owner, “where did I fail to communicate?” So it's so easy to point the finger and blame on someone else, which is going right back to the garden, right? Like she did, like right, and we go there so quickly. So work is going to be a place where we do a lot of neat things and build a lot of cool stuff, but it's going to be a place where there's a lot of mess ups too. LH Yeah, you feel that pain or the pain point, the friction every day. MW And work has, of course, the burden of the curse now, which is redeemed in Jesus. But there's the reality of living in a world that's still weighted heavy by sin and even our own sinful desires that can throw us off in any given day, where we're going to be working in those relationships that are close and regular, and sometimes, hey, you're in my space bubble, right? Or rubbing shoulders, or even just the quiet annoyances, whatever it might be, and I think in those places is where God tests us. Think of the fruit of the spirit, right? The love and the joy and the peace and the patience. Like these are all things that are stretched when you're in close proximity to others. So a lived obedience in the workplace. So, if I think about if God gives us this work to do, how are you representing me there, even under the circumstances of being very difficult? So that's where the obedience piece comes in, and then put all of the, of the externals of like difficult economy, and maybe your dollar doesn't go as far as it used to. And will you trust me in this? So work is so shaping in that as well. Like, are you willing to give your first fruits back to me? Type of thing, right? So all of that is in the space where obedience is. Will you take this good gift of what I give you in your health, able to generate, and will you also turn around and serve me with that? Like honor the Lord with your wealth, right? As the verse goes. So that's kind of the right the word perspective of where I'm seeing it. I don't know if you want to add something to that. BN When you when you say trust, like that strikes a chord for me, at least. Like in especially in the beginning, going from… I say this to a lot of people who are considering starting businesses or have started businesses. Something that like a big lesson that I learned is I like you have to trust when you're starting a business. It is a different kind of trust, MW Starting and going. BN Starting and going, of course, as you go along, because before there was there was like there was somebody in between the… LH Layer. BN There's a layer, right? Safety layer. There's like there's a safety layer. I was like, okay, my boss, he's gonna keep me busy. He's gonna make sure I'm being paid and my kids are being fed as a result. Then you start something and you start to think, no, this is it's just me and you, God. Like I need you, and the amount of times I prayed those words, I need you when I was starting my business with tears in my eyes, just because of the like the fear of it and the trust that came as a result of that. Like that has been it has been such a blessing. Then that's another aspect of - a lot of people don't really talk about much, I haven't heard it, at least - is that like starting a company, working, or being an entrepreneur, it can have a significant impact on your on your walk with God, positive or negative. For myself, it's been very positive. LH Was easy for it to be quite negative, though. BN It would be very easy. LH Totally suck all the life out of you into your business. BN Yeah, yeah, and I take zero credit. By the grace of God alone. My thankfulness and trust in Him have grown significantly as a result of this journey and partially because of people who came and walked beside me, like what a blessing that is. And it's yeah, it's totally… What what I'm getting at is that formation that happens at work can be significantly impacting, or can significantly impact your faith. LH Totally, it's such a testing ground, right? Like maybe I said it too strongly with the primary portion of it, right? Because I agree, obviously home and church are those are foundational, but like it's just from a where you spend your time perspective, like you're getting tested there, you know, five days a week generally. It's also a huge witness opportunity, and like I, yeah, I was just thinking as you were kind of explaining that, Mark and Ben as well too. But like, what if for like your home visit, you know how if you go apply for a job and you got to call the references or the references get called whatever, if your elders called like three or five of your coworkers or your employees, or clients, yeah, or suppliers, anybody. MW Like I work with this guy. Here's three people, call them, and so see what they think. I do a little interview here, and then we'll come up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Interesting. It would almost raise the fire. It's like, whoa, right? LH Yeah, but like just thinking about that example in my head, I was like, yeah, that really like brings it home for me. I'm like, yeah, what do your people think of you, or what do your coworkers think of? BN But if you're if that's what it would require for you to do something right, then your faith there's something wrong with your understanding of who God is. He’s watching. MW That’s true but I think like we're kind of like we forget. Yeah, so we go out the next day. Well, that was a good day. I kind of like I did one up for God. Like so, I can just I can just I'm gonna run my own for a while here, and then we go run on our own, and we like trip and fall all over the place. So we're right back to like right. I actually need God, and we like I'm going through the Exodus and Leviticus right now in the Old Testament, and like so many times, you're like you, you dumb Israelites. Wait a minute! LH Oh, that's me. Oh no. MW There I am. Like you just got delivered. You just like through the sea, the food, the water, the manna. Like how many things? And they grumble, grumble, grumble, and like even on that end of it, it's so quick that we can be like… BN God sends all these people to hold them accountable, right? And that's something that we didn't really touch on earlier about the whole mentorship thing, the accountability that comes from that is actually probably one of the more important parts. It's easy to forget, but so we did our mentorship kind of year, and immediately after, I started noticing some screws coming loose in all the processes that I had set up and all the things that I had had started doing really well. Like I need my time with Mark because at least I'm at least I'm doing it for him, right? MW So, what that does as we represent Christ is like actually there's an there's an accountability to God. So then we are called as the physical representation of Jesus in each other's lives, right? Like, hey, like we are the body. So here we are holding each other accountable. It was also again a mutual thing. I got Ben showing up. I can't say “Ben, you got to do this in your life” but I'm over here doing that, right? That doesn't work. So there's this whole mental thing going on. You're doing like the accountability also becomes your own. So inside of that that mentoring… LH You point each other back to Christ. Awesome. MW I was thinking too. Also, just and the obedience piece is for guys anyway. And I know this was a big one in my life. Was sometimes we take our work to the to the ultimate level. Like we're like, work is what it is. Like, work is top. And like, I would, I tend to work a lot, and it was like workaholic kind of slip in. And I think there too, if you're talking about obedience, is to recognize where it is that I might actually lean in too strong and think it's me or my work is everything. Lean into my work for like even guys may escape in their work. Like I don't want to deal with it. I'm just going to work. LH Yep. MW Whether it's long hours working the shop, wherever it is. So I think there's a piece there that to also be able to stop working not only on the day of rest, of course, but also like where are the portions of my day? Okay, I've put in my time, and I do need to spend time with wife or children or whatever else it is, because otherwise there's that element of escapism or my work is my everything, right? So there's that obedience there too, which I think again, if you know that within yourself, to kind of hold that in check, or have that accountability thing, say like, right, I've got this thing going on, I find myself working all the time. LH Yeah, well, and also defining what the work is too, right? Because I think obviously in today's day and age, we have a very like compartmentalized view of work in terms of like this is my normal nine to five or whatever, right? But like you were mentioning earlier, Ben, in terms of like how we used to work a lot more in community, like kind of pre-industrial revolution sort of thing too. I think Nancy Pearcey has a book on that. I think it was in the Total Truth book. I can't remember exactly, but kind of just talking about, yeah, how that's it was so much different, and families were all working together, right? So obviously we get away from that with the change in technology and over the last few hundred years, but like for us as Christians to think, think hard and long about this. To be like, hey, like, yeah. How much time do I want to put into my daily endeavor that way? And what other responsibilities do I have in the home front, specifically as guys? Because I agree with you. It's very… MW Or more church, right? Or school? Where like there might be other places that I can be called. And the hard thing is, you mentioned nine to five, but the hard thing is when you own your own business. When you yeah, you actually can flex those hours. You can't have the shop nearby, or the offices nearby, or in your home, or whatever it is BN On your phone, MW And you're trickling out there, and you're spending the time there. So just a caution to say, well, how am I guarding against leaking into my work all the time? Because it is not a nine to five. LH It's the benefit of like it can be more like part of your life, which is it feels more natural and nice that way. I guess you're not like oh I'm like doing a long commute and I'm doing a nine to five, doing a long commute back, but also it can just never end as well. So you have to be careful with that. MW Think of the farmer where he's up. The farm. Yeah, totally 4:30 in the morning and you're still doing work at seven eight at night sometimes right, or more. And seasonal. Like we live in Ontario here like life is seasonal so there's an urgency there all the time it's go go go go you've only got from you know this to you know April May to October November it's go go go and then the snow comes and then you got to do all the repairs and then do it all over again, right? Like, so we are seasonal. You go down south, we've been in some of the warmer climates, and it's like, yeah, we'll get it tomorrow because they can. Yeah, we don't always have the tomorrow. LH We got the work ethic, that's not a problem. No, that's right. But it's like we got all this effort and energy. But it's like, how are we spending it, and like, are we being wise with it, right? And yeah, I think that mentorship and that accountability is great for helping channel that way. BN Absolutely, and it doesn't always have to be like we were talking about earlier, it doesn't always have to be one on one, and sometimes it's a group setting. LH Local business group, whatever. BN Right. So you were talking about a local group of guys that you meet with. I have a similar thing that recently got started up, and it's been it's been such a blessing. Like we've only met twice, but already to even just today we had our second meeting. I learned something from each person that was there, and we do that accountability thing as well, where we each commit to doing something for the next week or for the next meeting. And now the accountability is real. Like you've got eight guys, seven guys, who you're gonna are you gonna go to the next meeting and say I didn't, I didn't even try, right? LH You feel the pressure. BN The pressure’s on. But not just that. Like we had a conversation about giving and how like as business owners, how do you how do you give? How do you tithe? What's that? What does that look like? Because it does change in in that new kind of circumstance that you might find yourself in. And I was so inspired by one of the guys who was talking about his time as a deacon. What that taught him, what the need is, and it changed the way he gave. MW There's the old saying, "Give till it hurts.” I don't know if we always do that. BN I don't. I don't think we do. LH Well, it reminds me. You saying that reminds me that piece, well, there was two pieces in RP over the last year, year half or so. Marty VanDriel, the assistant editor over there had a piece on this whole like corporate tithing sort of thing, and then Bruce DeBoer, the chairman for the board of RP, had a great piece more recently on their kind of approach of like giving like the 1% off the top, which ends up like trickling down to be about 10% or whatever. But like it's just that that faith of giving it up front. So different ways to do it, but I think like thinking creatively and what works for your business cycle and cash flow cycle and all that. Like it's cool to think about those things and it's important to think about those things and encourage each other to be yeah like you say give until it hurts like don't just give a little bit here. Like think about yeah don't think about your business just as like this, like I'm just gonna make tons of money and give it away, sort of thing. But like, yes, it can generate profit. It should generate profit. It needs to generate profit. But like, that's a piece of it. And then also think about all the lives you can impact. BN Yeah, and be strategic about it. Right? There's efficient ways to give. There's strategic ways to maybe withhold giving because the future there's something happening that could potentially… right there's all these different…. LH Give in services of what you do BN There’s all different ways to give. I think that the in person giving of time I mean personally that's a struggle for me I like that's something that I know I need to work on, um, because like that's the most valuable thing I own, um, but it's something that I've realized now owning a business you have mastery over your own time. That's something that Mark had to work into me because I was still, kind of stuck in my old nine to five thinking. It's just like I gotta, I gotta put the hours on here, here, here. He was like, "No, man, like you can do things a little differently now. You have mastery over your own time.” Which changes. Okay, where can I give my time? Right? That nine to five, those hours in between, they used to belong to so and so, my boss, but now, now I can I can be flexible and I can say, oh yes, there's a need here. I can take a break from my work and I can go help there. Yeah, what a blessing that is too. LH Totally, totally. So this has been this has been great. Like I really appreciate the kind of high level overview we've done now, but I think we all know that like it wouldn't be Real Talk if we didn't get into the real talk. So I'm gonna hit you with a few different topics here of like areas in business life where yeah, if you had a mentor, you might wrestle through these issues, and perhaps you guys have in in the year or so that you guys have been kind of keeping each other accountable that way. But I would say off the hop. I know you're passionate about this one, Ben, but there's a real need for men in particular. If you would like your wife to stay home, you got to get out there and you got to make some decent money nowadays. Like because of this whole two income trap and the way the real estate market is and all that. Even with it declining, it's still just brutal. Yeah. So, like, what are some conversations you guys have had in this topic, and how does that kind of play into Six Days? BN There's multiple aspects to this that I've thought about deeply. Let's just say that. LH Yeah. Walk me through one. BN One of them is, I think it's incredibly important for - long term - for the for the Christian faith, for the kingdom of Christ, for discipleship to happen in the home, and that needs to happen by parents, specifically the mother. Right, they have a task given by God to raise the children up. Obviously, the father plays a massive role in that. But in today's day and age, like you were saying, with the costs of everything, the father needs to make quite a bit of money in order to create a space for that mother to stay home and raise the children, right? It's a totally different scenario LH If you want to own your own home. Although rent is pretty rent is also pretty crazy too. BN Rent is pretty expensive too, but there's another side to that. I'm not sure how much I want to share because this is this gets really personal. My wife and I, when we had our first child, that this was a this was a big topic for us in multiple ways, partially because she's a very ambitious woman, and she loved working, partially because we there was a tension there because she also knew because she's a biblical woman that she had a role to play in the home. LH Yeah. BN So we struggled through this, and the third tension was the financial aspect of understanding what I was making, what our costs were. When we entered into that phase where mat leave kind of ran out, right, and then you get to a point where it's like, okay, what are we gonna do? We just prayed, and we said, “God, we know we're not in a position to sustain what we have here on Ben's income, but we believe that you have called Jacqueline to be here”, and we just prayed that, and we trusted, and we made the decision that she was not going back to work, and God provided, not by giving me a raise, but He provided in some other way. And if you if you want to talk about learning trust, that is that is a hard lesson. But the Bible is just so full of these examples of God making something where there wasn't anything, right? I was I was dwelling on Jesus feeding the 5000 men, 10,000 probably people with a couple loaves of bread and a couple little fish. MW He always gave thanks. BN First, he gave thanks. Yeah, yeah. So you got the faith of Andrew bringing, bringing this child who's like, hey, he's got a lunch, 5000 people here. Jesus, what can you do? And Jesus says, "Thank you”, to his father, and then he distributes it, and everybody eats all that they need. Actually, no, sorry, I forgot a detail there, and this important detail. He gives it to his disciples, and they distribute it. Right? He calls men to do the distribution for him, and then everybody eats enough. They're all satisfied, and there's more left over than when they started with. Right? Like what a what a picture of the God that we serve, the mighty King Jesus, who is ruler over all, all authorities His, that includes your bank account.He will make $5 go 100 times as far. He can. He can do it all. Understanding that and running your your home and your business, understanding that I think is critical but also understanding the structure that God has laid out for us from creation, and obviously it doesn't work for everybody. There's always going to be examples of situations where things aren't quite the same. Yep, but the principles are there, and we ought to be guided by them, yeah. LH Mark, are we being dramatic as young guys, making this out to be a bigger challenge than it is, or do you see a shift? MW I see a huge shift, particularly in in the cost of living. Like it used to be, you could have a reasonable job, even a small business, like one or two, you know, people, and buy a home and buy a car or truck, whatever you need. Have a car or van for your wife, and that's how we grew up. And actually, in our case, my wife would stay home with the children, but she would also take care of the business side of things the accounting and so on yeah took care of the books. Did that for multiple years still doing that today as our son took over the company and that was a great way so that was an innovative way to say “okay how do we now have mom at home with the kids but also you know working her own hours” evenings or when the kids are napping, or whatever, getting creative, taking the kids to the bank, or whatever it was. That was a way of providing in that scenario with mom at home and in the business. But in terms of what you're asking, also on this whole, are we seeing things like challenging? Certainly, right now. Sometimes I wonder how is it that even on you know the $35 to $40 an hour wage, like how can you over 40 or 50 hours a week pay for all the needs that you would have between living expenses, groceries, now fuel going crazy on us, and then just simply saying, you know, giving and so on as well. So it certainly takes a lot of creativity. It takes a lot of mutual working together. I think that's huge. Like, how are you doing? A type of thing, and the younger generation is doing that. Getting creative, getting creative, also even just in living spaces. Totally. So, how do you now maximize on this house? Is there living on the land? BN Oh, multi generational! MW That's right. That seems to be a buzzword. A thing that's coming back. There's more units on this property than there. You know, the single family dwelling, you know, of old. So we adapt, but we don't do it in sort of this void. We are those who take it to God, as you as you have done as well, and just say, "Lord, what would you have us do here?” And that takes a huge element of faith, because I mean, we all like to have it that there's money coming in, money in the bank account, we can make some decisions financially. Whereas if it's like, I just had a young fella say to me today, like living paycheck to paycheck is no fun. LH No. MW Nervous to take the next step. What is the next step? I don't see what the next step is. Work is slow. I mean, people have lost jobs. Contracts are smaller. There's a lot more guys bidding on contracts, what is it, right? So that makes it very difficult. LH Want to pick up on the multi generational aspect that you kind of raised there too. It also ties into yeah having jobs that are that can sustain a living wage nowadays too, right? In terms of like, if you are successful in your business, you grow your business. Do you grow your business to sell your business, or do you grow it with the intention of always making a multi-generational, pass it off the next generation thing? Because you just mentioned you did that with your son, and that's I think a great thing. And those jobs are still there, and that's that business is still active, and they're doing their thing too and supporting the community in that way. But you also see larger businesses or businesses of different sizes, whatever, and they will sell off. And we've seen that in our church community locally here as well. And then you go, “Okay, well, I'm sure that money is getting used and supporting our various causes, and that's all fine and good. But those jobs are kind of gone, and they've moved away.” So, but yet still, some businesses spring up out of that as well. So, I'm just curious for your perspective if that's something you guys have talked through, or that's a topic for the next business meetup for Ben. MW We haven't talked about this directly, but I will say this. I've thought about this even in my own world, but selling companies or whatever it is. If there's income generated even from the sell-off of a company, I think there's a stewarding of those, stewarding of those funds that you turn around and then tie into something like Six Days as that business hub of like, okay, I need contractors to do this, even if you've moved out of the area or other guys are setting up business. How do you just start that ball rolling all over again? Whether it's me needing to do a renovate or a build on or add another dwelling or whatever it is, get creative. That we can also look at the younger generation. Who can I invest in by even just seeing them do meaningful work? And then you can even mentor by hiring, saying, "Hey, I see you doing this in your business. This is you're doing this really well”, or “are you open for some advice? Because here's what I saw. Maybe room for improvement.” So that's a way to transfer wealth that it's through meaningful work, and then also, what is it that that money is generating in terms of giving and investing in other means, other than you know not just contractors coming to work for you. Perhaps it would be initiatives or new entities that are needed, new ministries that are started up. Lots of opportunities. LH Yeah, there’s good that comes out of it both ways. But yeah, yeah. I just, I guess, yeah. There's, it's gonna be different for everyone in their scenario. But I just think of that article that that was in RP recently about the multi generational businesses, and I think you talk about living in multi generational situations, and yeah, that's kind of making a comeback, maybe more so out of financial necessity. But it's kind of it might be some hidden blessings there as well for us to kind of think about that more and more. Because I, I'll confess, as a young guy in business, like my mindset is always like you build it to sell it, and like yeah, maybe you sell it, maybe you won't sell it. MW So this is the thing. So I had the company that I pretty much just finished selling to our oldest son and originally when we started, I was in partnership with a brother that lasted for a decade. Then we split, went on our own. And I like way back when it was like this is what I love to do. Was not thinking about building a company to sell. It was working with my hands so that I could provide for my family. Later on, as our family, we had children and some of them were boys, and then one of them took interest. Then it became like, oh, okay, like maybe this succession thing is something we'll do. And then we did do it, and it worked very well. So other ones like big businesses are like build them up. They become you know moving entities. Is like let's build it up and sell it. Who's going to grab it? Highest bidder type of thing. And even if you did that, so with your company, you're like wow, I just sold it good money. You're going to turn around as a Christian, and that's going to end up somewhere in the Christian community, right? You're going to either buy a home, or you're going to invest in other people, or you start another company, or start three companies. LH Well, it's super, it's actually really efficient if you think about it, because you're getting paid out on your EBITDA, basically your profit. Let's say for the purpose of this podcast, times number of years that they live to valuable, you know. So if it's like 5x, 6x, if it's pretty valuable, whatever. So you could take that. Let's say it's only 3x or 4x, and you're getting paid on that money, and you would get that, and you can go take that money and do more with it in the you know proceeding three to four years, right? So there's a good case to be made for that too. But again, I read that piece. I thought, huh, that is that is interesting about the whole multi generational thing. But feel like that's more when you're like in a particular like trade, pure trade. Like we're like buying and selling commercial steel doors. Like it's like, hey, that's cool. But I have two daughters. Like, do they want to do that? Who knows? Probably not. But so we'll see where things go. But that's a long way down the road. But that got me thinking too. BN Totally. LH Okay. I'm gonna hit you with one other. Do you have a thought before I go to next topic? BN No, I'm okay. LH I want to hit you one other one of like a real talk issue on when we're talking work, workplace, whatever. There's a stereotype out there, and I've seen it. I've talked to different people who've experienced it too, where you have the older Dutch owner, and yeah, maybe he's given to the church and doing the right things, whatever. But he's cheap, tight fisted, very cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheapest chips. And it doesn't always show up in the worst spots because there's a good like could be thrifty, obviously. But it can definitely show up not only in a cheapness in pay sometimes for sure, keeping people at a wage that like you probably could pay them more if you wanted to, but you justify it because you give money away in your business, but also just not investing in people, right? Like I see this specifically in the trades where like a guy been working at a place and he'll be kind of stuck at this level, and the owner doesn't really want to grow the business, he doesn't really invest anything extra in his guy, and that guy in turn gets frustrated. He might work there from 18 to 25. In that period of time, he gets married, has a kid or two, and then, like you say, he's like, even if you're making 35 bucks an hour, you're like still pretty tight nowadays. Like I got to make some more money. Still, this is nuts, right? So, like, what about that sort of like issue in our circles? Like, you think that if we had some more mentorship and accountability, we could kind of talk through those things, or is that something that you've seen? Especially, I'm thinking of you, Mark, maybe over the years too. If has there been growth in that area, or am I making too much of this stereotype and it's not actually that big of a deal? MW What I've seen, and there are a number of businesses in Niagara, I have seen, thankfully, actually a lot of Christian owners who do invest in their people and they take it seriously. They're interested in their home life, interested what's going on, making sure that hey, do you have enough to meet your needs? Even taking care when there's an injury like a health difficulty. So actually, I've heard more good than bad. It is a real diss, I will say, on let's even talk about Jesus here. That like, if you would be a business owner and you're known to be a Christian and you are either you know stretching people thin or cutting corners or doing shady deals, I think that's dragging the name of Jesus in the mud. So I think accountability there would be like okay, number one, who do I know doing this? Maybe that's the time you should be having a conversation with them and say, “listen, this is what I heard. Is it true?” Because I mean, it might not be true. It might be just hearsay. But certainly. again, thankfully, a lot of the businesses I know they've taken very good care of their people, and I think that's good to see. And then that's where accountability and mentorship, and even those groups you were talking about, business groups and stuff. That's where you're into, like, how are you treating your people, and how do you make sure that they're taken care of? No, it's been probably more positive than negative. But occasionally you're like, that's really not good. People will always hold out and say, I know that guy's a Christian, and right away they'll forget all the good stuff going on in the Christian realm, and be like that one guy, like he's a jerk, and that means a lot of those Christians are just, they're just cheapskate Dutchmen, and right, like that's it's sad to say, but the… LH The bad apple can spoil a bunch. MW It clings around, it just sticks around for a long time. So just to not go there. BN Yeah, we talk a lot about holding everything with an open hand, right? An important principle. So, whether or not it's happening, I don't have enough insight to say. I'm sure it is happening in some cases, but yeah, absolutely. The effects of holding people accountable, and also just seeing if there's ways to kind of inject some principles like holding everything with an open hand and understanding that it belongs to God. LH Yep. Well, and having that honesty and that open dialog and communication can help with that too, right? Because that's a response you can see out of fear, right? If you're always not sure as a business owner, and there's always a ton of that still at that element of yeah, you don't know what the future brings. No one does, right? Yeah, and you have to be wise about how you know whatever run your run your affairs. But yeah, having that open hand, having that trust, whether that's starting or continuing on, and early or late in the journey, there's that's never going to go away. I don't think. MW No. Wouldn't it be interesting if every Christian business owner, male or female, wouldn't it be amazing that it would be almost an expectation that you had at least one, no less than one, like a mentor, a Christian mentor in in your life. I mean, I think I think the church could do that as well. Like, who are who are the people that are around you that are walking the journey with you? But in business too, like okay, you're starting up a company. Like, let's go on to Six Days, let's say, and who is in your area that could mentor? Not only mentoring you, we wanted to see you do well, but also that you would honor Christ in your business because it is the face of Jesus going out there every day in the world as we do our work. This is our ministry. We are on mission in the kingdom of God. So to take that seriously and say, "Hey, look! I just heard you starting up, right? And look, I don't have it all figured out, but if we're here, you know, as iron sharpens iron, one man sharpens another, you wanna journey for a while together? I'm not saying for a life, but maybe for a time?” And yeah, other people will come in. Now you've got this other group you're with, right? So yeah, I think that if that wasn't necessarily a prerequisite, but at least like that's we go there. Like I just heard you're in business, okay? And that became part of the business formation is like don't do it alone. Yeah, not a good scene. A lot of just for a whole lot of reasons, you can be you know shot in all kinds of different directions. Coerced here and whoops, did that, and shady deals, whatever, right? LH Oh, and you feel like you can't talk about it too. Like sometimes I feel like as a business owner, like if we're thinking specifically on the owner side of things as well, of just like, oh, these are unique challenges, or like maybe like this whole imposter syndrome of like, yeah, I don't know what I'm doing half the time. Yeah, like that's actually a lot of people. Some people do, and they can mentor you. They've been there before. Yeah, they made the mistakes, MW And to just reduce the whole shame. Like I got this problem. Like, okay, thanks for sharing. Like, like, how do we go through it? It's worked. Actually, I really did bad, and like, I'm just confessing right now, right? Like, just to say that was that was not good. And then there's people I gotta go back to and seek forgiveness, right? Like I think that's part of the growth in the kingdom. LH Totally. BN Absolutely, it's all part of it. LH It's a it's important realm. It's a realm we spend a lot of time in. It's one that we can help each other along in in our walk with Christ. And yeah, the business is a mission field. BN And the work is worship. LH And the work is worship. Amen to that. Wonderful. Well, thanks, gents. I really appreciate you guys making the time and coming down the studio. This was a lot of fun, and yeah. If you got any, you got any closing comments or thoughts you want to leave? Anything you felt like we missed, or feel like we left the people with a good nugget or two. BN Well, at least something to think about. Something to chew on, hopefully and get the conversation started. LH Yes, yeah, this is just open up the dialog, and it's I mean it's the same lines as Real Talk of just hey, we can inform a little bit, fantastic. Have some guests on that that know a thing or two and inspire future conversations, whether that's in business, in church, family, marriage, anywhere in life, right? There's as we all just journey on this life together and.. MW On a mission, as the kingdom of God advances through our work. LH Bingo, Yeah, this has been Real Talk. We'll catch you next time....

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Theology

May I judge?

I hear repeatedly that we’re not supposed to judge another.  Young people express themselves this way, and that’s not surprising – after all, not judging others fits hand in glove with the postmodern dogma of tolerance that’s so rampant today. Different strokes for different folks, so let the other be; who am I to say that what you’re doing or thinking is wrong…. I’ve heard Christians appeal to Jesus’ words in the Sermon on the Mount to provide Biblical justification for the position, for Jesus told His disciples: “Judge not, that you be not judged” (Matthew 7:1). Case closed: do not pass judgment on another. Inconsistent But the Internet is full of comments passing distinctly unfavorable judgments. These leave me puzzled.  We’re quick to repeat the mantra "do not judge" but judgments abound. Something is not consistent here. This sort of thing happens more often. In our relatively small community we hear numerous details of what happens in the life of the person in the next pew, or in the congregation up the road.  And very quickly we have a judgment ready on what we hear. It affects what we say to one another, and affects too how we think about or treat the person(s) about whom we heard a story. Do not judge rashly A quick judgment is simply unbiblical. Solomon put it like this: “The one who states his case first seems right, until the other comes and examines him” (Proverbs 18:17). The Lord in the 9th commandment gave the instruction not to “bear false witness against your neighbor,” and the Heidelberg Catechism summarizes the instruction of this command with this confession: “I must not … condemn or join in condemning anyone rashly and unheard” (Lord’s Day 43). That counts for what we say on Facebook too. We do well to repent before God and man of our easy judgmentalism and seek to learn that God-pleasing habit of doing to others as we’d have them do to us (Luke 6:31). As we hate being on the receiving end of perceived gossip or slander, so we need studiously to avoid being on the giving end of gossip or slander. Test the spirits This does not mean, however, that I’m to be neutral concerning all I hear. The postmodern mantra that I’m to be OK with whatever anybody else thinks or does is simply not biblical. Consider, for example, John’s instruction to “test the spirits” (1 John 4:1). So much gets said, and people believe so many things.  But I’m to test whether what they say and believe is “from God.” John emphatically wants us to have an opinion on that – and then reject what is not from God. Testing, of course, involves so much more than hearing one thing and swallowing it dumbly as the final word on the subject. Testing involves listening carefully, understanding the details and circumstances, and then evaluating in the light of the revelation of the Lord of lords. You’re meant to have a considered opinion. That’s why, in 1 Cor. 5, the apostle Paul was emphatic to the Corinthians that they needed to pass explicit condemnation on the brother in their congregation who lived in sin, sleeping with his father's wife. They were not to be neutral on this man’s behavior but were to take a stand and excommunicate him. That’s because in this instance the details were abundantly clear (it wasn’t hearsay but indisputable facts evident to all parties), and so the saints of Corinth were obligated before God to form a judgment and carry it out. That obligation was so self-evident that Paul put the matter in the form of a rhetorical question: “is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge?” (1 Corinthians 5:12). Judging: that’s your duty…. Jesus wrong? Is Jesus wrong, then, when He in the Sermon on the Mount tells His disciples, “Judge not, that you be not judged?” (Matthew 7:1). Actually, Jesus does not tell us not to have a judgment on what we hear or see.  Instead, Jesus’ point is that we’re not to judge rashly. That’s clear from Jesus’ next line, “For” – yes, note that connecting word! “For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged...” (vs. 2a). If you are quick to condemn another, do not be surprised when others will be quick to condemn you; “...and with the measure you use it will be measure to you” (vs 2b). So if you hear one side of a story and condemn before you’ve heard the other side, be prepared to have folk condemn you on hearsay before they’ve heard your side of the story! Similarly, if you, from a self-righteous height, condemn others' behavior while you are yourself entangled in sin, do not be surprised that you’ll find no sympathy when others find out about your sin. Jesus puts it like this: “Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?” (vs 3). That, Jesus adds, is hypocrisy (vs 5). As long as you try to hide skeletons in your own closet, you are in no position to draw attention to skeletons you think you see in someone else’s closet. Clincher But Christians are not to hide skeletons in their closets! True Christians are repentant of their sins, and confess those sins to God and to those they’ve hurt by their sins. Then you’ve pulled the log out of your own eye – and at the same time have great understanding and empathy for another’s weaknesses and failures. Then you’ll test the spirits, and you’ll have an opinion on what you hear, and carefully avoid condemning the other in a spirit of lofty self-righteousness – and certainly avoid trumpeting your condemnation to John Public. The person who knows his own weaknesses and failures will instead sit down beside the sinning brother to show him his wrong and lead him on the way back to the Lord. It’s Galatians 6:1: “Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness.” Judge? May I judge another? It depends on what you mean by the word "judge."  I am not to condemn rashly and unheard. But I am to have an opinion on my brother and help him in the way the Lord wants him to help me. This article was first published back in 2014. Rev. Clarence Bouwman is a retired pastor of the Smithville Canadian Reformed Church....

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News

Liberal party support highest among boomers

More than any other age group, boomers overwhelmingly support the Liberal Party. A July 2026 poll conducted by Abacus Data asked 4,200 Canadian adults which party they would likely vote for if an election were held that day. 52% of voters who were age 60 and older supported the Liberals, versus 32% voicing support for the Conservative Party. Meanwhile, among all other voting age groups – ages 18 to 29, 30 to 44, and 45 to 59 – support was almost dead even between the Liberals and Conservatives. Why the difference? One possibility was offered up by National Post columnist Amy Hamm, who suggested that seniors are more heavily influenced by left-leaning TV broadcasters such as CBC News than younger age groups, who tend to get news from a wider variety of sources, with a broader ranges of political perspectives. Hamm wrote about the CBC: “Citizens should expect our national broadcaster to engage in nonpartisan news reporting. In years long past, the CBC arguably did… These days, the CBC frames Prime Minister Carney’s failures as successes, and Conservative Leader Pierre Poilievre as an angry parliamentary jester.” While it can be hard to judge what outlets are trustworthy, Christians have the wisdom from the Lord’s Word to guide our thinking and to test our sources for the wrong biases. Scripture tells us, too, to hear out multiple sources before making judgments, because, as Solomon reminds us, “The one who states his case first seems right, until the other comes and examines him” (Prov. 18:17)....

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Politics

Alberta separatism: is it wrong to go?

I have deep roots in Alberta, having lived there for the first 30+ years of my life. I was also heavily involved in politics through a half dozen different campaigns, and during those years I thought long and hard about what a better Alberta might look like. I have since been separated from my home province by mileage and decades. While I am still a very interested observer, the distance allows me to act as more of an impartial observer than I would have been able to be two decades ago. I’m going to try here, to make a limited point – that it would be okay for Alberta to go. Not that it should go, but just that going is an option on the table that Christians can consider. Even as I think the referendum is well worth talking about, I don’t think it has any chance of success. A June 5 Ipsos poll had only 19% of Albertans interested in starting the process, and only 18% who actually wanted to go. Angus Reid had support as high as 35% for starting the process, but that was back in May, and their guesstimate was the highest of all the pollsters. So, I’m not writing to sway voters one way or the other. The reason I wanted to write is because some of the issues brought up are universal – they apply not just for Albertans trying to figure out how to vote, but whenever Christians are making any decision. Kevin DeYoung tackled decision-making in his excellent book Just Do Something, so, inspired by him, here are a handful of questions to help shape a Christian’s decision-making process. Q.1 HAS GOD LEFT THE DECISION UP TO ME? Another way to phrase this question would be, is this a wrong/right matter? If it is, then we know what to do – we need to do whatever it is that God commands. Screwing up the courage to do so might be hard, but if we know it is a moral matter then we already know what we should do. God’s will be done. However, as Kevin DeYoung notes in Just Do Something, a lot of our decisions aren’t so simple, precisely because they aren’t about wrong or right. God leaves some pretty big decisions up to us: what kind of job we’ll pursue, where we’ll live, who we will marry, whether we should partner up to start a company. Big stuff. Huge stuff! We can and should look to God for guidance, and talk to our parents and the other wise people He’s gifted us. We can come to Him in prayer and ask Him to make our motivations pure. We can look to His word for wisdom. But then it is up to us; He gives us a decision to make. Take marriage as an example. You can look over every page of the Bible, and you just aren’t going to find the name of the person God has in mind for you. He’s left it to you, to figure out who you have in mind for you. Now, you can’t marry an unbeliever because He’s said we should not be unequally yoked (2 Cor. 6:14). He also offers guidance on the kind of man or woman you should be impressed by. But, if a young man, Timmy, has a couple of those kind of ladies sitting in the pews nearby him each Sunday, then it will be up to him to make a choice. And up to whoever Timmy asks to make her own. Now let’s direct the question above to the separation referendum: is this a matter of wrong and right? The possible answers to the question can go a few different ways: 1. Yes it is, which is why we have to vote against 2. Yes it is, so we have to vote for separation 3. No it is not, so God has left the decision up to us. So which is it? Before trying to answer that, let’s clear away one distraction. That something can be done for the wrong reasons is not proof that it is wrong. Mankind has the sad ability to make just about anything immoral if we try. So, as noted, Timmy could have a couple of wonderful godly young women to consider – either could be a good God-honoring choice. But if he asks out Helen only because she has a cool car he’d like to drive, his selfishness and disregard for her heart would turn a legitimate action into a sinful one. That doesn’t change the fact that Helen is a great girl. So, for our purposes, that people could have bad motivations for voting for (or against) separation is not what we’re trying to figure out. It is no surprise that it could be done sinfully because anything can be done sinfully. But what we’re trying to figure out is whether seeking to leave Canada is sinful all by itself, or whether it’s something God leaves for us to decide. To that end let’s ask a couple of clarifying questions. A) Is there something about leaving that is wrong? Some Christians have invoked Romans 13 to argue that because God calls us to be in submission to our authorities it would be wrong for Alberta to remove itself from being under the authority of the federal government. It’s a good idea to go to Scripture, but let’s dig a little deeper and consider what sort of submission God speaks of here. Under a dictatorship, as Paul and most of the world lived under when this was written, they had no means of changing their leaders. But in a democracy, we do. So, while we know God has placed the Liberals in charge of Canada, we don’t think it would be wrong for us to try, via democratic means, to remove ourselves from being under their authority the next time an election is called. We’d likely thank God for such a result. So, how then, is it so very different for Alberta, via democratic means, to seek to replace this authority over them? Can we characterize such a vote as rebellion against, or disrespect for God’s appointed authorities? No, because, after all, this is simply following the process via the means those authorities laid out. This is an important point – what submission involves – that often gets confused, such that some Christians will characterize taking the government to court as disrespectful, because, again, didn’t God put them in authority over us? But Paul used the courts (Acts 25), and could do so while writing Romans 13, because those courts and that process were a part of the very authority he was in submission to. And what we have in the separation referendum is another government-given process that we can access in submission. B) Would it be wrong not to go? Or in other words, should Christians feel obligated to vote for the referendum? While I think there are reasons that could be offered for leaving, that’s not the same thing as saying Christians must choose to go. To go back to Timmy and his marriage prospects, that there are reasons for him to ask out Susan doesn’t mean he has to. There are, after all, other possibilities to consider, including Helen. So would it actually be wrong to stay? I think that would be a very tough case to make but let’s for the sake of argument, make a hypothetical case where it wouldn’t be so tough. Let’s imagine that the federal government was evil – it was murdering a quarter of its citizens before they were even born, and was now going after the elderly and disabled too. We won’t find that hard to imagine, because that is what’s happening right now. Now let’s imagine Alberta was ruled by wise godly Christians who sought to honor God, and were desperately trying to stop the federal government from pushing abortion and euthanasia in their province but they just couldn’t so long as the province was still under the federal thumb. In those circumstances would it be wrong to stay? Under those circumstances, I think we might well conclude it would be wrong, based on just how many unborn and elderly and disabled lives could be saved if Alberta left. But those aren’t the circumstances we have, are they? Even Alberta at its best is far from godly. Danielle Smith has no qualms about abortion, and euthanasia is paid for by provincial coffers with no protest. Even where the province is out of step with the rest of our Liberal country, it is only a half-step, with the premier’s stance against transgenderism a good example. Yes, she defended kids from this mutilation, but at the very same time she was recruiting doctors from Quebec to better enable confused Albertan adults to mutilate themselves. So this is not some black and white choice between an evil and a godly government. And as such, I don’t think there is a clear case to be made that Alberta must go either. Which would mean God is leaving the decision to us. Q.2 HOW IMPORTANT IS THIS? We make a million decisions every day, and not all of them deserve the same amount of attention. So we need to treat things proportionately. If you are going to buy a new car, that deserves more of your time and maybe prayerful consideration than if you’re buying a coffee. Though if you’re buying a coffee every day, that could warrant some consideration too, because that’s now become a bigger budgetary matter. But not everything is big. If you’re trying to decide between toast and cereal this morning, it’s not worth much brain space. Don’t take forever deciding – that’d be wasting the time that God has entrusted to your care. So, we do need to treat big things as big, but also treat small things as small. And I’d make the case that for the vast majority of us, the separation referendum shouldn’t be a big thing. Why? First, there’s every reason to think the separation vote is going to lose in a landslide. So, give it enough time to go cast your vote, but there are a lot of matters likely to actually happen that are, therefore, more deserving of your attention. Second, even if separation were to happen, would it solve any of our most pressing political problems? No. If it were only the Alberta government in power, God’s people would still need to be just as busy standing up for the unborn, the elderly, and the disabled. So, this isn’t nothing; but it isn’t the big way forward that will save Alberta either. We can give it more brain space and passion than our toast vs. cereal dilemma, but for both practical and prioritization reasons, should it get all that much more? Q.3 ARE MY MOTIVATIONS PURE? As noted, we can do the right thing for the wrong reasons. That’s why Kevin DeYoung suggests (again, in his excellent book Just Do Something) that when we’re making the very decisions that God has left up to us – what job we’ll take, whether we’re going to move, whether we should buy that gaming system – a good prayer we can bring to Him is to ask that He make our motivations pure. So, it’s important that Christians don’t vote for separation with a middle finger in the air aimed at Ottawa. But in our call to love our neighbors as ourselves, someone might vote for separation thinking of what a helpful example a free Alberta could be to the rest of Canada, showing what could be done with a different approach. One Albertan might vote for separation thinking that if only we stop those equalization payments, Albertans, and more specifically him, will now be able to live a life of leisure, rolling in all those extra billions. But another voter might well want separation to end those equalization payments so that the federal government will stop incentivizing people to live where jobs are hard to come by. They could vote out of concern for their neighboring Canadians who are getting harmed by this government program. So, the same act – the same decision – could be done in submission or defiance of God, based on our own motivations. Let’s pray, then, that God be honored in all that we do. Q.4 IN MY ESTIMATION, IS IT WISE? So where do we land when a matter isn’t wrong or right, when we have given it its due consideration, and after we’ve questioned our own motivations? Then we arrive at the point where we have to decide for ourselves whether it is the wise thing to do. Wisdom can be sought in consultation. Ask your parents. Read relevant articles. Debate things with your friends. But it’ll be up to you. CONCLUSION I’m not going to make a case for separation or against, but I hope I’ve made a good case for Christian liberty. And in doing so, I hope I’ve also made the case for charity towards your brothers and sisters who are voting the opposite way you are. We do need to vote to God’s glory. But what I’m arguing here is that in this referendum, that will be done more through the motivation and manner in which we vote, than in what direction we cast our ballot. Honoring God is more than submitting to His will, but certainly not less. When He has expressed His will, then we need to submit no matter what it might cost to follow Him. But we can be bold too, when He leaves the decision-making up to us, knowing that our Heavenly Father will be pleased with whatever we might decide, just so long as we are trying to please Him....

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News

Ontario’s “conservative” gov’t opposes bill that would have banned gambling ads

Ontario is awash in new gamblers. As ARPA Canada reported earlier this year: “A recent study found that since iGaming Ontario was introduced, total monthly wagers increased by 654% between April 2022 and August 2025, and the number of active player accounts rose 239%. Calls to Ontario’s mental health and addictions helpline rose at an accelerated annual rate (7% above the previous trend) after iGaming Ontario was introduced in 2022. The highest increase in calls was among young men aged 15 to 24.” The province’s iGaming Ontario reported that in the 2024-25 fiscal year, it oversaw $82.7 billion in total wagers. That amounts to an average of $5,000 being bet, and $180 being lost, by every man, woman, and child in the province. How much revenue does the government get out of this? It’s surprisingly low: a little over $181 million, with the rest going to the private gaming operators. That means the government is overseeing an enormous expansion of gambling, but making only a smidge over $11 per man, woman, and child from it. These iGaming Ontario numbers don’t even account for the billions more spent on the government’s own Ontario Lottery and Gaming. While it’s hard to know just how much is being gambled through its lotteries and other offerings, what is clear is how much it contributes to government coffers: $2.25 billion in 2024-25, or $140 from every man, woman, and child. Earlier this year, billionaire investor Warren Buffett characterized sports gambling as a tax that the rich like because “they don’t have to pay it.” Why don’t they have to pay? Because it is an entirely voluntary tax – if you don’t want to give the government your money, you can simply choose not to gamble. That’s why he also agreed that it was “a tax on stupidity.” But, of course, some people have a hard time not gambling. Various estimates put the number of problem gamblers at 1.1 to 11 percent of Ontarians, or between 160,000 and 1.6 million Ontarians getting hurt by a product their government is pushing on them. As Buffett put it: “I don’t like things that make a sucker out of people. I particularly don’t like them when the government sponsors them. I don’t think the function of the government is to play its people for suckers.” So when a bill was proposed, earlier this year, to ban gambling advertising in Ontario, it was a reason to celebrate. Gambling advertising has gotten inescapable – as ARPA Canada shared, “one analysis in 2024 estimated that Canadian viewers of live sports broadcasts were exposed to 2.8 references to sports betting per minute” (emphasis added). This bill wasn’t going to undo all the damage being done, but it was certainly a step in the right direction. And, all the more remarkably, the bill was being proposed by four members of Ontario’s opposition Liberals. Things are bad indeed when even the Liberals see a need to rein things in. But the ostensibly “conservative” government said no. While they offered up reasons to oppose the Liberals’ bill, what the Conservatives didn’t do was propose an alternative to it – they spoke of the need for moving “thoughtfully and methodically” but in the meantime Ontarians are left with the destructive status quo. What’s wrong with gambling can perhaps be best understood in contrast to other ways we can make money. Gamblers make bets that, should they win, are covered by those who bet the other way and lost – your gain only comes via others’ pain. Meanwhile, if you make money any other legal way, your wealth will come by benefiting others. Whether you are a housepainter or an accountant, the money that you thankfully receive comes from others who are thankful too for what they’ve gotten from you in exchange. Your gain is also their gain. God calls us to love our neighbor, not exploit him, so wealth gained at our neighbor’s expense is an unacceptable way to take in money. More could be said, but for those who think gambling is harmless entertainment I’ll offer up just one more objection. Even if you’ve got your gambling under control, every bet you make is that little bit more motivation for the government to keep at this… to the great harm of many, who aren’t in control of their gambling. If you love your neighbor, you should be lobbying the government to stop pushing, and just simply stop running, such a destructive enterprise....

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Contests

Sign up for RP’s July 13-22 screenfast challenge!

Bring peace to your mind while raising $100 for charity. *****  Are you struggling with keeping screens in their proper place? Do you or your children find it hard not to reach for your device, almost without thinking? Last year, over 1,000 of you joined us in “breaking the spell” for 10 days. The feedback was overwhelmingly positive, making it evident we would all benefit from doing this every year.  So for ten days, we're going to get re-oriented. We're asking everyone – as much as it is possible for you – to steer clear from your smartphone, computers, TV, and tablets for the ten days of July 13 to July 22, 2026. Speaking of together, we’re asking you to sign up with an accountability partner – someone who can see how you are doing and egg you on. And you can do the same for them! Need a device for work, or to stay in touch with family? No problem. You are welcome to come up with your own exceptions. Just write them down in advance and stick to them. Some generous supporters have pledged to donate $10 per day for every day you manage to go screen-free from July 13-22. The money will be split between two fantastic kingdom causes – Reformed Perspective and Word & Deed –  to a maximum of $20,000 split between both causes. A few tips Commit. Don’t allow yourself to make easy exceptions, even if you are having a hard day. For example, just because you are at someone else’s home doesn’t mean you can enjoy screens again. Don't get sucked in. If you still need screens for basic your job or other functions that are essential, go for it, but ensure that you are only using your tablet and phone for that and only that. For example, if you need a phone for directions, don’t take the opportunity to scroll the news. If you need a computer at work, don’t let yourself go to other websites or play an online game. Out of sight, out of mind. Help yourself by hiding your devices and make them difficult to access. Maybe even take the TV off the wall. Log out. Log out of your social media accounts so that it isn’t easy to quickly open them. Hide your app icons. If you need still need to use your phone, hide all the icons of the apps you want to steer clear of. Come up with a plan. When you find yourself wanting to reach for a screen, what'll you do instead? Make a plan. It doesn’t have to be hard or complicated. Perhaps say a prayer, take a drink of water, try to memorize a verse, do a set of 10 jumping jacks, or read a couple of pages of a book you’ve been meaning to get to. Have alternatives ready and waiting. You and your children are going to need something else to do with your screen time, so you need to have options, otherwise you'll just spend your time pining for your phone. Get out books, magazines, art supplies, a soccer ball, or whatever. For more ideas be sure to check out our article "What can I do anyways? 35 screen-free alternatives. Invite accountability. Let loved ones know what you are doing, and ask them to check in on you regularly to see how it is going. Tell them not to let you off the hook! Don't let this opportunity pass you by. Don't we all need help on this front? So don't let yourself off the hook - let's do this together! This challenge is now complete!...

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Entertainment

Can I watch a movie during my screen-fast?

…and other FAQs answered ***** 1. Can I still do the screen-fast if my work requires I be on a computer? Some didn’t participate in last year’s screen-fast because they figured their job just didn’t allow for it – they had to answer texts and calls, or type away on a keyboard most of the day. But everyone can join in on the fun! For kids an entirely screen-free fast is probably best, just to help them reset. For mom and dad, it’d be about stretching ourselves as much as we realistically can. To paraphrase Andy Crouch, the screen-fast isn’t about becoming Amish; it’s just about becoming a lot more Amish than we might be comfortable with. Go without Instagram, Facebook, or checking the sports scores… because that can so easily go from the seconds you intended to the minutes you didn’t. It’s about drawing a line. So sign up, note your exceptions, and then stick to them. 2. Can I still Facetime with Oma during the screen fast? If your children do regular Sunday Facetime or Messenger video calls with their grandma, should they skip those for RP’s 10-day screen-fast challenge? No siree, for at least a couple of reasons. First, the you from the future wants you to call. A good way to evaluate decisions is to consider what the you from ten years hence might have wished you’d have done now. We know that the us from then would really appreciate it if we’d kick our screen-addiction… which is a reason to get at it now. But that same future you would love it if you’d call your mom more often (and more importantly God does too – Ex. 20:12). Even during a screen-fast. So you should. Second, not all screen usage is the same. Jonathan Haidt, author of The Anxious Generation, has spoken to how face-to-face communication, even over a smartphone, is entirely different from a kid swiping through a video roll. One destroys our ability to focus, and the other helps stretch it. One involves interaction and intention, while the other is simply consumption and the abdication of deliberate decision-making. One harms us, and the other builds us up. And we all know which is which. 3. Can I watch a movie during my screen-fast? The screen-fast shouldn’t be just another time to watch the latest that Hollywood offers. But as mentioned, not all screen usage is the same, and Haidt also speaks to how watching a long-form movie – not a half-hour sitcom but one single story told over a couple of hours – is very different from viewing TikTok, Instagram, or YouTube. Those mediums’ seconds-long clips erode attention spans, making us unable to deal with moments or minutes of boredom. But even the best movies aren’t going to be one long action scene, and sticking with the story through the lulls will actually help build up our ability to focus. So, for some families captivated by YouTube shorts, watching a film could be part of taking back control. The key is intentionality. Don’t fall onto the couch and see what’s on. Watching “just something” is like eating “just something” – God gave us a brain, and we need to use it to meal plan. If you’re going to do it, deliberate so that you, and not the algorithm, decides. Pick a challenging film that will spark conversation, and get you and your family thinking and then watch it with the pause button at the ready so you can make this interactive and not simply consumptive. A movie could be an exception in your screen-fast… if it’s a movie (and not ten) and a certain sort (and not just any). I’ve offered one nominee, Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, which will stretch young viewers’ attention-spans, but will certainly reward all who make it to the end. 4. What is the screen-fast actually for? First off, this isn’t about legalism and creating some 11th commandment that must be woodenly followed. It really isn’t even about screens so much as it is about regaining self-control. What we’re doing now is damaging ourselves and our kids in ways that are both obvious, and not so. When every ding has our hand flinching toward our phones, we’re never fully present – we’re always distractible and we can all feel our attention span frittering away. And it doesn’t take a genius to know screens are impacting our kids all the more so, and will cripple their ability to buckle down and just learn. But our out-of-control screen usage is also impacting us in ways we might not have even considered. In Ps. 63:6, King David spoke of how: “…I remember you upon my bed, and meditate on You in the watches of the night...” Do any of us use our insomnia like that anymore? We leave no room for long unhurried conversations with God when we fall asleep staring at our devices instead. The problem isn’t our deliberate, intentional usage, but our loss of self-control, and with it the loss of minutes going on hours, with nothing to show for it. The screen-fast is about a reset to put our screens in their place, as our tools and not our masters. And more so, it is about reorienting our lives to properly recognize God’s place as the Lord of our lives, our time and our priorities. ***** Join us for our 2026 screen fast from July 13-22! Sign up here....

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Parenting

Real Talk: Recovering family worship

This episode can also be found on your favorite podcast platform: Spotify, Apple, Podbean, Amazon Music or on our website. Be sure to subscribe to our YouTube channel and our podcast profiles so you can be notified when new episodes are released. Please note that the transcript below was automatically generated and quickly edited so it may contain some errors. ***** Opening What if your home was more than just a place of routine? What if it became a place of worship? Family worship is not complicated, but it does require intention. We often say we don't have time, but the reality is we make time for what matters, and when we consider all that Christ has done for us, worship in the home is not an obligation, but rather a grateful response. Today, I'm joined by Pastor and author Dr. Brian Najapfour, and we're talking about what it means to intentionally lead our families in worship. A big thanks to our official sponsor, Trivan, for making this conversation possible. Be sure to check them [email protected]. Now on to the show. The world's changing fast, but what questions should we really be asking? You're listening to Real Talk, a podcast presented by Reformed Perspective, where we take God's word and apply it to the nitty gritty of life. Buckle up for real questions, real answers, and real direction. This is Real Talk. Lucas Holtvluwer We're glad to have you here. Dr. Brian Najapfour Thank you. Lucas Holtvluwer And we're gonna be talking all about family worship, of course, but I thought you have a very interesting story coming from your father from Iran, and you growing up in the Philippines and coming to know Christ. Can you tell us a little bit just about your story in a brief few minutes before we're going to jump into the family worship. How did you become a Christian, and what was it like growing up in the Philippines? Dr. Brian Najapfour Yeah, so I grew up Roman Catholic, which is the predominant religion in the Philippines. Yeah, I think even today, about 80% of the population is Roman Catholic, but I imagine nominal. A lot of them, they don't really go to church, and that was the case with me when I was in the Philippines, when I was Roman Catholic. I would go to church probably five times a year, Christmas, Holy week, my birthday. And I remember back in 19, I think 1995 a Baptist pastor came to share the gospel with me and even today I have that relationship with that pastor, his name is Pastor Willie Cruz, and in fact, whenever I go to the Philippines, I would preach for his congregation, so he has been the pastor of that church for over 30 years, because the Lord saved me in 1996 by God's grace, and another pastor by the name of Pastor Bong Lug Tu, he discipled me. He was really the one who would spend time with me. I remember he would come and visit me at home, and we would jog, and he would pray for me, help me understand more the gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ, and so when I, maybe this is a promotion, quick promotion of evangelism. Yeah, I wrote a book, which I entitled Every Christian Is an Evangelist: Biblical Motivations for Sharing the Gospel. I dedicated that book to those two ministers of the gospel, Pastor Willie Cruz, and then Pastor Bong Lugto. And so that was 1996 when the Lord converted me, and I remember having this realization that I basically wasted 16 years of my life, and I said, Lord, if it would please you, I want to serve you for the rest of my life. So, believe it or not, the next year, the following year, 1997 so I was a brand new Christian. I wanted to serve the Lord, and so I, I decided to attend a seminary, and I still remember when they interviewed me. One of the questions was, How are you going to finance your, your studies here, and I said, well, I don't have money in my pocket, but I have faith in the Lord here in my pocket, and sure enough, the Lord provided, and so 2001 I was only 20 years old, turning 21 I graduated in a local church called me, extended a call, which I accepted, and so I started pastoring in 2001 before I turned 21 years old. So I've been serving now the Lord for 25 years, so this year marks my 25th in the ministry. Only by God's grace. Lucas Holtvluwer Wow, congratulations! Dr. Brian Najapfour Yeah, thank you. And, like, what I mentioned, I was the first one to become a Christian in the family, and by God's grace, my mom came to know the Lord Jesus Christ after my conversion, and I have a half brother from my mom, and he too eventually became a Christian. Now, my father, who originally came from Iran, but he left Iran in the 1970s he's been in Australia now for 4040 plus years. I don't think he's a believer, and it's really my, my prayer that someday he too will enjoy the blessing of salvation in the Lord Jesus Christ. And I know nothing is impossible with the Lord, we will talk about family worship, and I want to encourage to those parents who might have the so-called prodigal sons and daughters, prodigal children, maybe they once grew up in the church, but they've left for some reason, and at the end of the day, we know that it is the Holy Spirit who will regenerate our dead souls. Salvation belongs to the Lord, and that happened to me when I grew up. There was no family worship, after all. I grew up in a broken family, and it's not easy. My mom had to work hard to raise us, to provide for us, and I also lived in an environment where drugs were there, I actually to survive before my conversion, before the Lord saved me. I even entered Jueteng. Jueteng is a form of illegal gambling in the Philippines, but when the Lord saved me, I gave up that gambling. Of course, we know that it's, it's not something that Christians should, should do. It's, it's against God's, God's will as revealed in His word. But here I am right now, sitting right next to you as a token of God's grace, and so if I may encourage to our viewers that at the end of the day it is the Lord who will save their children. Now, it doesn't mean that they should not pray, they should, and we will talk more about talk about the use of family worship. Lucas Holtvluwer Yep, wonderful. Well, thanks for sharing that. I appreciate that. It's a wonderful story. So, I guess we fast forward 26 years or 25 years there. So, we're sitting here today, we want to have you on because you had this Go and Teach conference, and you gave a speech there on family worship and the importance of it. So, we were chatting just before the show, we had Dr. Beeke on, and we kind of touched on this a little bit in that episode. So if the listeners are listening to this, you know, today in the future, they'll, they may have checked that out. So we touched on that a little bit in that episode, but in this one we want to go a little bit deeper and really like dive into, like, okay, what is this concept of family worship, and why does it matter? Why is it called like, why do you, why is God call us to do this, and how is that different from just reading the Bible, or just, just praying after a meal? And while those are important, there's, there's more to it there. So, maybe we'll just start from kind of where you started your talk at the beginning about this idea, the concept of family inside the church. Do you feel that we have a bit of a misunderstanding of, like, the importance of the family in the church, or how that kind of functions in relation to corporate worship and then family worship? Can you want to touch on that a little bit? Dr. Brian Najapfour When you say misunderstanding, what exactly do you have in mind? Lucas Holtvluwer Well, like, do we, I guess, do we think of worship as something that's more done, like, outside of the family circle, and don't think about it as, like, the family is almost like a mini church in some ways, and the not only the impact and the means of grace that can exist through family worship, and I'm sure we'll touch on that as well, but just the opportunity that is there to praise and glorify God in our, in our family life as well. Like, it's I think it's easy, especially in our Western culture, and perhaps you can speak to that, coming from the Philippines, as well as kind of an outsider to that, and then coming into it, of how, like, we can really like bifurcate and separate. Separate our different portions of our life, right, and compartmentalize, and I think sometimes the worship in the family home, in the family aspect, doesn't always get brought in there in the same way we think about it in church, so maybe just kind of speak to that about, like, okay, worship is not just for in church, you can also do it in a family context, why does that matter, and what's important about that? Dr. Brian Najapfour Thank you for clarifying that. I think it's helpful too to realize that worship has basically three aspects. So, first of all, there is what we call personal, or closet, or private worship, that's our personal worship with the Lord. You alone with the Lord. The Puritans would use the term closet, that's like being inside the closet when no one sees you, but, but, but the Lord. So that's very important, because the second aspect of worship is what we call family worship, and I think this is where we have the misunderstanding, especially with regard to worship. Sometimes we think that worship can only be done outside our family, thus we have the third aspect of worship, which is public worship, corporate worship, which we are very familiar with, because that's what we do. If you are a believer, you go to church twice on Sunday. In our tradition, we have two services. I understand that there are many evangelical churches today that only worship once on Sunday, and that's what we know when we think of worship, that's good, and the Lord has commanded that, commanded us, do not forsake the assembling of ourselves together, but let us not forget too that there is what we call family worship or family altar, and I remember what John Chrysostom said, that we should treat our family as a little church, and that idea was carried on by the Protestant reformers, like Martin Luther, especially the Puritans, even Matthew Henry would also strongly say that our family is actually a little congregation. And why is it so? Well, because our family, our home, is not just a place where we eat, where we sleep, where we have that enjoyment that we can enjoy from the Lord all the blessings, but this is also a place of worship where there is a tent. One Puritan said there is also an altar where you can offer sacrifices to the Lord, and I think that's where the misunderstanding comes, because a lot of us don't think of our home as a place of worship, but it is, it is, and that's why family worship is so crucial, because think about this, Lucas. Well, first I mentioned about the private worship, your personal worship with the Lord. If your personal relationship with God is weak, let's say as a father, that will reflect your family worship will be affected by that, because really, family worship should be an outcome, natural overflow of what you are inside the closet, and then at the same time, if your family worship is weak, that will eventually affect the congregation. Yeah. public worship, and I'm afraid that one of the problems, Lucas, that we have nowadays, you know, we often complain, how come that the attendance is declining for public worship? A lot of families are no longer worshiping the Lord, children, they are not worshiping young people. They would rather go to a baseball game or watch a hockey game on Sunday than be in the house of the Lord. Why is it so? Well, really, it's a reflection of what happened inside the house. Now, I'm not saying that that's always always the case, but if our family worship is shallow, weak, what do we expect? We will also have a shallow, weak corporate public worship. Lucas Holtvluwer And you see that as a real, like, pressing need, especially in today's society, like where things are at, because I would, I would say, like, even just in my experience growing up in Dutch Reform circles, yeah, like, there were consistent patterns of, you know, reading and praying at meal times, and some families would sing, like, if you go over to someone's house on a Sunday, like, certain families would, certain wouldn't, whatever, but this, like, when we had Dr. Beeke on, we were talking about this whole idea of, like, you go to a separate room, and like, you get the books out, and you do, yeah, you sing, and you read the Bible, and you discuss it, and you know it's like a whole separate event, almost, right? Is that kind of what? How do you practice that in your home? What does that look like exactly? Dr. Brian Najapfour Yeah, so my wife and I, we have five children, ages between four and 13, and what we do again, each family is unique, and sometimes, depending on the age, two of your children, so because we have five kids in the range is quite big, four to 13, so we have this practice where we make a rotation, we take turns as to who will open in prayer, so before we eat, let's say my oldest daughter will open in in prayer, and then we eat, and then we go to our family room, the living room, and we have seven bibles, because five kids, plus myself, and then my wife, we have, we have seven bibles, and each one will have a bible, now of course, our four year old daughter cannot read yet, but it's good for her to see, to observe, so we don't expect her to read yet, but those who can, they should read, so we will take turns right now, we have been reading from the book of Exodus, so let's say Exodus chapter 32 and each will read two verses. So I usually start, so I will start two verses, and then I guess this is my advantage too as a pastor. If there is something that I would like to stress underscore, I will pause, and then explain that to them. So, for instance, when we read about the Tabernacle, yeah, a lot of symbols there. Yes, so then you can, you can help them. Okay? Why do we have this? Because the goal also is that you look for Christ. Otherwise, when you just read and then give moral lessons, it will be moralistic and I think that's one of my concerns, by the way, too. In many family worship today, it becomes moralistic, and by that I mean they simply read it. Let's say if they read about the narrative or story about David and Goliath, so or Daniel and his three friends. Well, we want to be like Daniel, brave, courageous, and then you stop there, or like David, strong. Well, yeah, not really, but strong in the Lord, yeah, courageous, and we say to our children, you see, we need to be courageous like David, no, no, go beyond that story, look for Christ, and you can say that here, my child or my children, David really represents the Lord Jesus Christ, the greater David, who fought the greater Goliath, Satan. So you bring out of the text the Christology and pointing them to the cross and sharing the gospel, which the goal is really to share the gospel with our children, and another misconception, too. Sometimes we think, well, my, my child is already a believer. Praise the Lord for that. If your child is showing the marks of grace, but it doesn't mean that your child, your believing child, does not need the gospel anymore, because Lucas, I cannot imagine my life without the gospel. I need the gospel every day, when I, when I sin, I need the gospel. I need forgiveness, I need Christ, I need His blood. When, when I am down, I need the encouragement rooted in the cross of the Lord Jesus Christ. So that's one thing that we need to do also as we lead our family in family devotion, and so we read, and then the next person will read two verses also, until we sometimes it doesn't need to be long, so you play by ear also, sometimes the text or. The chapter will end naturally. There will be a division, and then you can pause there. You can say, "Okay, I think we can, we can stop here and then continue next time.” Let's say, if you're reading about the plagues, you may want to just read one plague or two plagues. Stop there and then after that you ask them what do you think, what can you learn from, from, from this passage, or better yet, where is Christ here? Where's the gospel here? How can we use this, and then you help them to apply it practically. Oh, you know, between, between siblings, there is a fight, mini fight. You probably know that. You have.. how many siblings? Five siblings. Then, then, as parents, now.. and my wife is so good at this. Yeah. Then, then she will help me. Then, okay. Then, how.. how can we apply this? How can we use this if we are angry? Yeah, how can we use this if let's say someone did this to you or that things like that. Again, let it come naturally from the text. Yeah, there are practical applications, but my point earlier, if all that we get are practical applications devoid of the gospel, then you will end up with moralism, and there's no power there. Lucas Holtvluwer Yeah, you need some heart behind it as well. You need the gospel. Dr. Brian Najapfour And then after that, we sing. Lucas Holtvluwer Yes. Okay. Dr. Brian Najapfour So the one who opens in prayer will have the opportunity to pick a song, so we're using the Trinity Salter hymnal, that the OPC and URC have produced. Excellent. What I like about that hymn book, you have psalms and then hymns together so in a good selection, really good selection of hymns, so we will sing one, and then I always speak the second. We sing two, and sometimes too, we just sing from memory. Let's say, for the sake of our four year old daughter, we can, we can sing in the name of Jesus. In the name of Jesus, we have the victory, you know, something like that, or read your Bible, pray every day, sometimes with, with actions, yeah, and you grow, grow, grow, yeah, so that the little ones can, can relate to it, bring them into it, but at the same time you can sing hymns where the old ones can appreciate better than read your Bible. Sometimes, for some reason, you know that, yeah, as you're entering the teenage year, you somehow feel embarrassed to read your Bible. And then we close in prayer. Yeah, we gathered the prayer request. Okay, do you have prayer requests now? Because they go to school, they, they will share something from the classroom. Please pray for my classmate, his dad is going to have surgery, or please, like one of our teachers, or not teachers, a librarian, she has cancer, Mrs. Chaytor. Okay, so the kids will say, Mrs. Chaytor, pray for Mrs. Chaytor always, every time, every time. To the point that if it is my turn and I'm coming near the end of my prayer, especially the youngest “Mrs. Chaytor”, it's like, don't forget that. Yeah, I hear you. Yes, I will get to Mrs. Chaytor. Yeah, yeah. So, probably 15 minutes by the time you, you're done. Lucas Holtvluwer So there's a kind of like four major parts. There's the Bible reading, there's like the explanation, looking for the gospel, Christology, yeah, and then there's the singing, and then prayer, Dr. Brian Najapfour Yeah. Lucas Holtvluwer Okay, and so when you were putting together this whole go and teach conference, and then you wanted to speak on this issue, what kind of caused you to say, oh, like this is a really relevant topic that we need to talk about, like today, especially like, is it the whole, like, whatever, entertaining ourselves to death kind of thing, like what is distracting us, or how did this habit kind of get lost over the years? Because I know, like, HRC Church, like you guys draw from the Puritans, and kind of that whole tradition a lot too, and there's lots of great things to learn from them as well, including this idea of family worship and trying to revive that and bring that back, but like historically, is that something you looked into at all? Like, oh, like, how did this practice kind of fade out, and why is it so important? I guess to bring it back in. Dr. Brian Najapfour Yeah, it's actually interesting. I think when you look at church history, even among the earlier church fathers, I mentioned the name John. Chrysostom, he was big when it comes to family altar, family worship. Yeah, he would say that our home is a little church, little congregation, and the Protestant reformers, John Calvin, Martin Luther would carry that idea, and especially the Puritans. And then, for some reason, when we reached the 18th century, the rise of evangelicalism, I think the focus shifted from family to personal, and that's why… Lucas Holtvluwer It’s a whole like, expressive individualism. Dr. Brian Najapfour It’s interesting too, because even the hymnology hymns, you will see that, for instance, Charles Wesley, notice his hymns, very personal, Fanny Crosby, that thou, my God, should die for me. My, the me sort… Lucas Holtvluwer of the we in the us and all that. Dr. Brian Najapfour No, there's nothing wrong about that. I'm not saying because they were also reacting to the cold dry spirituality of the Church of England, then in the 18th century, and we thank God for men like George Whitefield, Charles Wesley, Joseph Hart. I did my dissertation on Joseph Hart; he was one of contemporaries of George Whitfield, Charles Wesley, and he himself, Joseph Hart, wrote several hymns, 222 in total. You will probably recognize one of them, Come Ye Sinners, Poor and Needy. Lucas Holtvluwer Oh yeah. He wrote that one. Dr. Brian Najapfour He wrote that one. So he's lesser known compared to other great hymn writers of the 18th century, but same, the focus was personal, and again, please don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong about that, but I think, too, as we moved forward to the 19th century, it became too personal, not familial, not the, not more family, so probably that contributed. I could be wrong, but that's one of my observations in church history. And, of course, fast forward now, 20-first century, with the rise of media, cell phone. You know what's sad, Lucas. I remember my wife and I with our children, we went to this restaurant, and I remember sitting right next to this family, where so the two kids and the parents, they were all holding their cell phones, and they were like this, there was no conversation around the table, so gently I said to my… I remember telling one of my children, I said, do you know this? Look, look at them. Yeah, because our kids, they're excited to have their cell phones. Like, when can I have my cell phone? Not right now. You're only 13 years old, or you're only 11 years old. You need to wait, but look at that. Maybe those children were only maybe 10, 11, 12. They had their own cell phones. There was no conversation. Lucas Holtvluwer Yeah, it's not good. Dr. Brian Najapfour And, and you know, Lucas, to another problem. Actually, my wife, who is a teacher, told me about this when she was in British Columbia, so she went to Fraser Valley University, and there was a course where they, the teachers had to be aware of this, that they, need to teach their students how to interact somehow. Kids, they don't know how to interact, they don't know how to converse, they don't know how to talk. Yeah, and why is it so well? First of all, each room has a television, so here you have a household, a family. If they have two children, three children, they have each will have his or her own bedroom, and there's a television. They, they rarely eat together. Lucas, one child will eat in his own room, the other one in her own room. There is no fellowship around the table. And so, this is, by the way, so common in the world. Like, family worship is so rare. So rare. And I'm afraid that even within a Christian community, and yes, Reformed community, it's becoming so rare too, and that's why we want to, and I'm so glad that you're taking the time to interview me about family worship, because it's a crucial, a very crucial topic, because think about this, if our family is broken, what kind of society shall we expect to have? And when? Because a society is composed of families. When you, when you have weak, broken families, you will have a broken society. And when you have a broken society, you will have a broken nation. And unfortunately our politicians don't see that problem, that we need to strengthen our families, Lucas Holtvluwer Or they come from a lot of broken families, probably. Dr. Brian Najapfour Yeah, no, I did, like that's why I started with emphasizing God's grace, too, because at the end of the day, it's the grace of the Lord that will change us, transform us, but let us not also forget that God is using this means for conversion to save our children and to transform our children to strengthen our family worship. Lucas Holtvluwer Well, you mentioned Joshua 24, “As for me, my house will serve the Lord”, as kind of like a key text in this regard, for sure. And I mean, I think this was a bit later on the outline, but I think it's relevant to what we're talking about right now, in terms of as reform folks, we don't usually get into the language of like we choose to do this or we choose to that, right? We're kind of like allergic, but like in that way, like, why is it so important to say, like, no. As for me, at my house, we will serve the Lord and make that distinct choice, yeah? Like, for you and your wife, maybe you could speak to your experience or what you've seen as a pastor in general, but I don't know if we've, if we, and I say we, as like the collective reform, not like I'm speaking for them, necessarily, but just from in my own mind, maybe like thinking about that as like put your line in the sand, this is what we're going to do, that's kind of a new way of thinking, it's more just like, oh, I've grown up in this, this is yes, this is how our family kind of operates, and these are the things we do, but being very explicit about it and creating some of these good habits around family worship, that's yeah, that's a key choice you make. So, when you were kind of putting together this talk and speaking about this and writing on this, how important was it to say, "Hey, like, put a line in the sand and say, as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord? Dr. Brian Najapfour It's a resolution, Lucas, that we need to make you don't make that on my behalf, that choice, that decision, you don't decide for me as a father of my home, my household, I make that decision, and even if I'm the only father in the world that will do this, I will, by the grace of God, make that decision, that no matter what happens, like in the context of Joshua, and by the way, really, when, when we take that verse within, within its context, you will appreciate better, because prior to that, Joshua has just reminded God's covenant people of what, what the Lord has done for them. Lucas Holtvluwer The whole history, yeah. Dr. Brian Najapfour The Lord has redeemed them from the land of Egypt, from bondage, slavery. The Lord has given them victory over their enemies, the Canaanites, Jebusites. The Lord has given them this promised land, a land flowing with milk and honey, and now Joshua is saying, now therefore choose you this day whom you will serve. In light of this, how can we not serve the Lord, like when we think of what God has done for us, when we think of what He has given to us. Now, of course, in the gospel, in the gospel, He has given us far better, far more better blessings than what the God's covenant people experience that time because in the gospel the deliverance that we have is not just from the slavery bondage of Egypt or Pharaoh, but deliverance from the bondage of sin and bondage of Satan. We have that freedom, not freedom to sin, but freedom to worship. We have been set free. The Lord has given us that, that liberty to worship Him. The Lord has given us this promised land, now the Beulah land, the celestial city that awaits us someday, that we. Will be dwelling in the house of the Lord forever, and not to mention all the spiritual blessings that we have in Jesus, the blessing of justification, that in Christ we have been justified by faith in Him. We have the blessing of salvation, that we have life everlasting blessing of sanctification, that we are being conformed to the image of the Lord Jesus Christ. Day by day, we have the blessing of spiritual adoption, that in Christ we have become the children of God. We belong to God's family, and, and not to mention all the physical and material blessings that the Lord is is giving to us. That's why, in our family, we do our family worship right after our supper. And so you have that natural way of reminding your children, children, the Lord has just blessed us with food. Are you aware that there are other children who are literally starving when we think of the children, for instance, in Gaza, I've seen a lot of videos, yeah, like they are starving, they need food, and, and we can say, my child, the Lord has just fed us, shall we not thank him, shall we not worship him as a family? Look at you. You have nice clothing. You live in a beautiful home. If it is cold outside, we have furnace. If it is hot outside, we have AC. You go to school, there is a school bus. You don't need to walk, whereas some kids will have to walk for five kilometers just to get to school with an empty stomach, they have no food. You can go to school with snacks, you are so blessed. And when we like what one hymn writer says, count your blessings, name them one by one, and it will surprise you to what the Lord has done. You know, we are quick to count what we don't have. Weare quick to count the afflictions and trials and problems, but the moment we pause Lucas, and think of all the blessings the Lord has given to us, then why shall we not choose to serve the Lord, to worship Him. This the least thing that we can do in return for what the Lord has given to us, to have our family worship, where all together we bow down before the Lord, kneel down and say, as a family… Lucas Holtvluwer Do it together. Dr. Brian Najapfour … “Lord, thank you so much. You have been so, so good to us.” I understand there will be a problem, affliction, cancer, loss, death in the family, and when you have that trial, it might not be easy to thank the Lord, but still, when we now focus on Christ and think of His suffering, His agony. Here you have Jesus, who cried out, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? He suffered, He did not sin. Now I deserved to suffer Lucas because of my sin, but Jesus never sinned, and yet He took my sin. He died, and yes, there will be loss - a loss, God forbid you might lose your child. Now, my wife and I, we had two miscarriages. It was not easy. I remember crying like, like a baby, but God, the Father, lost His son too. His son died on the cross, and He can very well relate to us at that moment, and say, Lord, please help me, sustain me as a family, help us as a family, help us to say with Job, the Lord gave, the Lord has taken away, blessed be the name of the Lord, that's family worship. Lucas Holtvluwer It’s there during the highs and during the lows. How did you? Well, I guess maybe how did you, or how do you continue to keep that spirit of thankfulness in your family worship and not let it shift into one of obligation and duty, and having it just become rote Dr. Brian Najapfour Again, once we do our family worship as an expression of our gratitude to the Lord, I think that will change the way we do it. So, in other words, if one of my children were to ask me, "Dad, why do we have to do this? Why do we need to have family devotion, few families on earth do this anyway.” Now, if I, if I say, well, it's a good tradition, it's our tradition, by the way. Well, that's good, but it's not really convincing. Lucas Holtvluwer No. Dr. Brian Najapfour If I say, well, you see, if we don't do this, our elders will come in and maybe castigate me, especially I'm a pastor, I need to do this, set a good example. No, we can, we can give them a better reason, and the reason really is we're doing this because of what Jesus has done for us at the cross of Calvary, this is our way of saying thank you as a family. So, family worship is really a thank you to Jesus for all that He has accomplished for us on the cross of Calvary. Now, our children may not understand it that way, and that's why it's so important that we again help them focus on Christ, because if, if the reason for having family worship is merely material, material, or financial, or physical, well, let's worship the Lord, because the Lord has blessed us, the Lord has given us this food on the table. What if Lucas one day we come to the table and there's no food on it? We're blessed here in Canada, in North America, but think of other Christian families, let's say in, in many countries in Africa, where there is really starvation. How can you, how can you worship the Lord when, when you're so hungry? How can you worship the Lord when you don't even know if you have food tomorrow. How can you worship the Lord if there is severe, intense persecution that you know that that any, any time one of the officials of the government will come and arrest you because of the gospel? It's, it's not easy, but again, if we do family worship because of Jesus, then we have always the reason to do it, and that's really the reason, it's Christ, and so I would, I would encourage parents, families that when we do it, give, give that reason to our children. We do it to say thank you to Jesus for what He has done for us. Because think about this, as the psalmist says, the Lord is good. The Lord is good, and He's always good. And if we really believe that, then we always have a reason to thank him and praise him and worship him. Lucas Holtvluwer Amen to that. You talked earlier about the different areas that kind of correspond with each other, of personal devotion, and then you have family worship, of course, then the corporate worship within church and congregation, as a father, as a husband, as a leader in your home, how do you keep your personal devotional life strong, so that you have that overflow that can feed into, I mean, in your case also as a pastor, but obviously into the family worship, then into your church family as well. Dr. Brian Najapfour Very good question. The key is to be consistent. Now, do I do it all the time? Of course not. There are times that, let's say, as a pastor, let's say you have a meeting, consistory meeting, elders meeting, and you have to go to bed late, sometimes 12 midnight, or something, something happens unexpectedly, or one of my children broke her two wrists. Emergency. Lucas Holtvluwer Oh, wow. Dr. Brian Najapfour So, I do my personal devotion in the morning, and yeah, it's hard to wake up early in the morning, so I had to skip because of what happened, so I might do it later that day, but you want, you want to be consistent, but let's set a time, so like in my case, if you don't set a time, it will never happen. Likewith this interview. Lucas Holtvluwer Yeah, we got a book it. Dr. Brian Najapfour Exactly, exactly. And once you do it, it becomes a habit. Lucas Holtvluwer Yep. Dr. Brian Najapfour You to the point that if you don't do it, you know you're missing something. Yeah, it's like I go to the gym regularly and if I don't go to the gym, my body misses it somehow. There, there is, something is missing. I know that I need to go to the gym. It's the same with my personal devotion. I know that I need, I need to do it to spend time with the Lord. Now, there, there are dangers too, for us ministers of the gospel to substitute right sermon preparation, that that you now do this to replace your personal devotion. Lucas Holtvluwer That's just part of your job. Dr. Brian Najapfour Yes, and I will discourage pastors for doing that. I think it's sacred that we need to protect our personal devotion again. It doesn't need to be long. Now, in my personal devotion, I pray for my children, obviously, and for my congregation also. I can, I can pray for this family, two families, or sometimes you have special requests that you remember. Again, I want to be realistic also, because easily you can spend time just praying. 30 minutes is too short if you want to pray for your members, and not to mention your friends and family members, so you need to say, okay, I need to focus on this time for just one family. I spend like five minutes, 10 minutes, and usually to for my prayer I use my passage, so if I read from Genesis, let's say Genesis chapter seven, chapter eight, let's say about Noah, then you use that in your, in your prayer, you thank God for the ark, for the Lord Jesus Christ, you use that as a basis, otherwise you develop a cliche. And I think that's another thing also that we need to watch as fathers, that we develop cliche cliches, and, and our children will notice that. Yeah, so it's good if your prayer is based on the passage that you, that you read for that devotion. So, yeah, I watch it, I watch my personal devotion, I fail, but I, I want to go back again. Lucas Holtvluwer If it's a habit, give up, you know, you're missing it, that's that's a good key point to take home for all. Dr. Brian Najapfour Doesn’t need to be long. Lucas Holtvluwer But consistent. Dr. Brian Najapfour Yeah, you know, Al Martin, he died recently, and he said in his, in his office, he had two chairs, one chair for his study and one for prayer, for his personal devotion. Well, I only had one chair, but I thought that that was a good way to make that distinction, that you have another chair that you use, Lucas Holtvluwer Your prayer chair. Dr. Brian Najapfour your prayer chair, your worship chair, right. Now, having said that, it should also be that whatever we do that day, whether you are a plumber, a doctor, or a nurse, or a builder, that you do what you do as an act of worship, and so in that case you worship the Lord every day, every single hour. For a mom, when, when you wake up in the middle of the night to change your baby's diaper, when you do it for God's glory, that's an act of worship. So, right there, changing a diaper, you're worshiping the Lord. Lucas Holtvluwer Yep Dr. Brian Najapfour So yeah, we, we want to do everything for God's glory. Start to finish of the day. Lucas Holtvluwer Agreed. What are some of these idols in our culture, specifically in family life, that we can kind of let get in the way of a habit of family worship, because, like, some of the objections you might hear to this would be I don't have the time for it, or I wouldn't know what to say, or isn't, you know, reading the Bible and praying enough. Why do we have to go take these extra steps? Now, you talked about that last one a bit with the idea of gratitude and seeing what Christ has done for us, but what are some idols in our culture today that you see that are inhibiting us from taking the necessary steps to have a healthy regular practice of family worship? Dr. Brian Najapfour Good question. So, generally speaking, an idol is anything that takes priority over over the Lord, it could be your sport, whatever it might be, hockey, hockey game, or basketball. I love basketball, but if basketball becomes my priority, more important. And then the Lord, then that becomes an idol, and I think the challenge too is that again, let's, let's be realistic now, so I'll give you a realistic scenario of our family, so my daughter, she needs to practice piano, and that's in the evening, so that's Monday night, every other Monday night, so that that night she won't be able to join our family devotion, and then my wife too, but I have to do it, so like my myself, and then the other four kids, now is that our preferred time for the practice? No, but that's the only time that she could, she could practice the piano lesson. Yeah, the piano lesson. So, sometimes, sometimes we will, we will wait for her. Sometimes also, let's say I have a meeting, let's say consistent meeting, and then let's say we happen to eat late that night, then the family worship will be shortened.. Lucas Holtvluwer Expedited, yeah. Dr. Brian Najapfour But then I will say, love, that's how I called my wife, yeah, love. I need to go, please just close in prayer without me. But that's not ideal. Lucas Holtvluwer No, Dr. Brian Najapfour Sometimes too, my son, James, will practice baseball. Let’s say Saturday. They're practicing, although I think after for four for four weeks every Saturday night, then after that I forgot exactly which day of the week, because I don't like Saturday, because I protect my Saturday night for my sermon preparation, like final preparation for the Sunday, but anyway, so sometimes he has to go after supper, so then he will miss, but it's not ideal. So, that can be a challenge, by the way, Lucas. So, we need to be careful, because if you do it regularly every day, then something is wrong, but if you do it, let's say occasionally, and with the understanding that, okay, when you come back, we will still do it. You will join us. That's another story. But I think what we're seeing in many families is that, well, they will say they have no time for family worship, but in the meantime, the father has time to go out hunting for four days, he will be gone for four days, or five days. Yeah, he will even go to another province to look for elk or moose. And I have a problem with that, because if you, if you have time to hunt for five days, and you say to me you have no time for family devotion or fishing, they will be gone for two days, three days fishing, but no time for family devotion, that's some something's wrong right there. Lucas Holtvluwer It’s a misalignment. Dr. Brian Najapfour Yes, what is your priority? You're right, or some people would say, well, I, we don't have resources, you know, I can't afford to buy that family worship Bible guide. Well, really, and you have money to buy cigarette or tools for fishing, which are more expensive than maybe tools for family devotion. Yeah, you need the Bible, and if you can afford to buy that guide, family worship Bible guide. So, I think the issue is priority. Is it really a priority? And it goes back to what Joshua said. As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. Choose you this day. We need to make a decision, because if we don't, then the world will make a decision on behalf of our family, and we may not be aware that the world is catechizing our children. Do you actually think that when, let's say, we watch a baseball game or hockey game, and during the break time, or before or after the game, they will, they will play a song. Do you actually think that our kids are not listening to those songs, the conversation that they over, that they overhear from other people attending? Lucas Holtvluwer Yeah. Dr. Brian Najapfour And the world is not neutral. The world has an agenda. The world will teach catechize our children, and we need to counter that. And sometimes we parents, we say, "Oh, what, what happened to my children? What, what have you done?” Sometimes you know, we ask that question to our children. Well, maybe we should ask the question, "What have I done?” As a parent, as a father, because maybe we have let them, we have surrendered our children to the world, and now the world is teaching them with things that are not according to the word of God, even having friends, right? So, if we don't train our children, they have no weapons. Yeah, someone actually said one Puritan, and when you don't have family devotion, family worship, it's like having a house with no roof. Lucas Holtvluwer Yeah. Dr. Brian Najapfour You're open to dangers. Lucas Holtvluwer Yep, yep, you're not protected. Dr. Brian Najapfour You're not protected, yeah. Lucas Holtvluwer But so, given your family circumstance, and you came from a family that was a broken family, and no Christians in that family, and you were able to come to Christ and become a pastor and lead the life you leave lead, rather, if someone were to critique that and say, well, you didn't have family worship growing up and see what the Holy Spirit was able to do in your life, isn't it all the Holy Spirit at the end of the day? How important is it to still take the time and effort to do family worship in light of the power of the Holy Spirit? Dr. Brian Najapfour Yeah, so we believe that it is the Holy Spirit that will regenerate our children, will circumcise their hearts, will save them. Salvation belongs to the Lord. And yet the Holy Spirit, in His word, has given us the responsibility. Also, it is our holy obligation to raise our children in the ways of the Lord, in the fear of the Lord, and one of those ways that we can raise them in the fear of the Lord is through family devotion, and we should not neglect it, but use it, actually take, take advantage of this gift from the Lord, this blessing, it's a blessing, and if let's say one of our listeners, let's say has not yet done this. It's not too late. Lucas Holtvluwer Yeah. Dr. Brian Najapfour You can start now, and that's why going back to the Joshua passage, choose you this day. It speaks of urgency. Joshua did not say choose, choose you tomorrow or next week. No, right now today it's so urgent. Why? Because time is of the essence. Our children, they grow fast. Lucas Holtvluwer Oh yeah. Dr. Brian Najapfour Before you know it, they are out of our home, they are married, they live on their own. So, while we still have this opportunity, golden opportunity, let's take advantage of this, let's seize every opportunity that we have as parents to train them, to help them, to equip them, because we, they will not be forever living with us, they will be going to colleges, and guess what, some of their teachers, professors may not be Christians. How, if we don't equip them, then how can they respond to challenges? So it is our responsibility to equip them, and we can use family worship. I dare say that family worship is really one of the most important things that a father can do for his family. Family worship. Lucas Holtvluwer I would agree. Yeah, it's that daily, you're just again bathing them in the gospel, right? And those, those regular routines of coming together as a family, I mean, you hear it even just in a more general social context of people lamenting the loss of eating dinner together, right, and just in the society kind of breaking down around us, and like you mentioned earlier, families eating in separate rooms and broken families, and that sort of thing, so it's good to good to know that largely we have still retained that, I think, unless you're seeing that as a trend, I feel like people still eat dinner together. Dr. Brian Najapfour Yeah, of course. You know, in my experience, to having been a pastor for 25 years, I have not yet heard someone say to me, someone who is dying, I wish I had worked more, or I wish I had visited this place or that place. When there is a regret, oftentimes it is something like this. I wish I had spent more time with my family. Always like that. I wish I had spent more time with my family. I remember Lucas, one of my professors in the seminary. He said to me, and he said this when his two children were not attending church, were backsliding, they were backsliding. And he said to me, I wish I had prayed more for my children. That was his regret. I remember hearing that. I said, “this is my professor regretting.” You look at him as a godly professor, but he himself has this regret, and he thinks that he had not prayed more enough for his children. Now, of course, we think of God's sovereignty, right? At the end of the day, if your children is not among God's elect, they will not be saved, but we don't use that as an excuse. We have the responsibility, and one of our responsibilities is to pray for our children, and part of our family worship is prayer. Lucas Holtvluwer Yep, it's a good reminder. You mentioned the hymn, I have decided to follow Jesus in your talk, and just how that's an example of family leadership. Can you expand on that, and just kind of explain for our listeners what that's like? Dr. Brian Najapfour Yeah, so there is one version that says this is the story behind this hymn. I have decided to follow Jesus. Several years ago, many, many years ago, there was a family in, in India, I believe, northern part of India, and this family was living in, in a village known for headhunting, really, really terrible, terrible village, pagan, pagan village, but a missionary from the West came, and to make the story short, through this missionary, this family of that village in that I think North East India came to know the Lord Jesus Christ, and when the chief of that village found out about the conversion of this family, especially the conversion of the father. He, he pressured him, he wanted him to recant his faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, and he said, "If, if you don't recant, we will kill, we will kill your wife.” And basically he said, “I have decided to follow Jesus, not turning back, not turning back.” And again the chief said, “Well, if, if you don't really recant, we're going to kill not only your wife, but all your children as well.” And he added, “the world behind me, the cross before me, no turning back, no turning back.” In other words, “I have made this decision. No matter what happens, whatever you do to me, I will not recount my faith in Christ, because I have made this resolution to follow Jesus, no matter what.” And by the grace of God, by the way, they killed his wife, and they also killed him, and even when he was one, one witness said that as they were persecuting, or they were about to kill this father, they kept hearing him say, “the world behind me, the cross before me, no turning back, no turning back”. Now the chief of that village was so touched by the testimony of this father that he declared, “I too will follow Jesus”, and by the grace of God that village turned to be Christian, that pagan village as amazing story. Now, of course, that's a version I have a friend who challenged that. He's a hymnologist, but anyway, if that was true, beautiful story, really. And this will also help us appreciate this hymn, because a lot of people, especially from a Reformed tradition, would not sing that hymn. I have decided to follow Jesus. I think because they associate that with decisionism, or is it Believism? That no, we don't make a decision. Again, the idea of, you know, choosing, we react to that, we become allergic, but it's a biblical expression that indeed we make, we need to make a choice. Yes, we believe in the doctrine of election, but to believe in Jesus is your choice. I can't make that choice for you, Lucas. Yeah, through the spirit, it's my choice that I have to make that I need to believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, but of course in that context here you have a believer who is making a decision to follow Jesus. Now, so it's really within the context of sanctification, and family worship should also be understood within the context of sanctification. In other words, we don't do family worship to gain God's favor. We don't say, "Okay, children, let's do this so that somehow in doing so God can save us.” No, there is no salvific power in family devotion, devotion, but God can use it in the context of sanctification to strengthen our faith. And, and also, God can use that if you have a child who is not yet a believer, as the child hears the gospel from that family worship. Then you pray that the Lord will use that for the conversion of your unbelieving child. Lucas Holtvluwer Yep, it's a, it's a powerful means, means of grace, right? Dr. Brian Najapfour Exactly. Lucas Holtvluwer Yeah, 100% In the home where the husband is not the strongest in his faith, or is not a great leader, but the wife desires her husband to be so, and if, if a wife is listening to this podcast, or whatnot, and thinks that, yeah, we should kind of get this whole family worship thing going, and you know, Dr. Najapfour is making some great points here, and we need to really do this in our home, but doesn't feel like her husband is able to lead her in that regard, or whatnot. What would you kind of say to a wife in that position to help foster some of these habits, even if the whole family's not bought in, so to speak. Dr. Brian Najapfour So interestingly, you brought that up, that question. One of the attendees at the Gointage conference was a mother whose husband doesn't want to have family worship at home, and so I said, “well, you do it, you do it, you lead it. If your husband will not do it, then you take the responsibility, and you pray that as you do that, your husband will be touched by it, will be convicted of his own sin”, because we should take lead, we fathers, that's our primary role, not our wives, but if we're not home, then the wives will take over the responsibility, that happens like in my case too, as a pastor, when I travel, if I speak at this conference. Sometimes I'll be gone for three days, four days. Obviously, I can join my family for family worship. Now, does it mean that we then stop? No, they will continue. So, what we do if I'm at home, they will read a different passage, because we want to save the series. So, our goal is to read the entire Bible. I don't know how long will it take us, but so be it. If it takes us five years, four years, I don't know when. It's okay. So then my wife will read another passage because we want to save the series. So, I would encourage that that wife to take the lead. Do it, do it, and pray to the Lord that eventually your husband will join you, will come to the saving knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ. And sometimes to Lucas, I think I'll give you an example. When I was in Michigan, I met this young man, well, not really young man, he was already in his late 20s, and he was married with kids, and I remember he said to me, "Pastor,” he said to me, "you know what really bothered me when I was growing up, I never heard my dad talk about spiritual things, I never heard my dad talk about the gospel. My dad would, we would have, quote unquote, our family worship, which simply means he would read, and that's it, and then pray, that's it. He would not expound it, elaborate it, nothing at all.” So he saw, he saw that as, as, as, as really a problem. Well, it's good to have that. That's as a blessing, because God could use the mere reading of His word for our conversion, but for him now as a father of his own children, he wants to also explain what they've read, and for him to do that, he needs to prepare, he needs to read, and that's why the idea of family devotion to requires preparation, it has to be intentional, and we need to be prepared as well, which means that, well, as a father, if you, if you can watch a movie for two hours, or if you can watch a baseball game. Now, I remember someone invited me to watch a baseball game, went to the stadium to Toronto Blue Jays. First time, I would not do that when I was in Michigan, no idea about Blue Jays, but so I remember I had to leave three hours before the time. Lucas Holtvluwer It’s quite a commitment to get there. If you go through Toronto. Dr. Brian Najapfour Yes! I had to walk for 15 minutes, because of…. Lucas Holtvluwer the take the train Dr. Brian Najapfour …station, yeah, train station, because we parked, we left my car, I forgot, not the older Lucas Holtvluwer At the older shot go station? Dr. Brian Najapfour No, somewhere here in Hamilton area, I think, and then what, oh yeah, Burlington station, yeah, so we left my car there to the train, yeah, and then the last stop, well, before the stadium, and then you still had to walk for 15, 10, 10 to 15 minutes, and then you had to be there before the time, before you know it, my whole day was gone just to watch this game, Lucas Holtvluwer Yeah Dr. Brian Najapfour One game, and I had to spend, because then the hot dogs and very expensive bottled water, so in my mind I said, “wow, it's really commitment.” Then can we not do the same, right? Can we not commit to doing this family devotion? You spend 30 minutes to read in advance, if you, if you're not confident where you, what you're going to say, then read it in advance, and read commentaries. There are many commentaries that you can buy, read books that will help you develop your skill in family worship. Lucas Holtvluwer There’s so much information out there. Dr. Brian Najapfour So, there's no really excuse now, Lucas. It has to be intentional, Lucas Holtvluwer it's a mindset, Dr. Brian Najapfour A commitment. Lucas Holtvluwer yeah, and like, as a young man leading his family, too, like, it's just, yeah, you see, like, I grew up with, with this sort of habit of family worship, but to, yeah, to think about it this intentionally, and to, to really, yeah, make sure it's a priority is, is definitely a mindset shift, which, yeah, seeps in from the culture, you don't realize it, but you have to, you really have to put your stake in the ground and be like we're doing this, and like, or… Dr. Brian Najapfour It will never happen. Lucas Holtvluwer Yeah, you're not going to just find your way into it, it's not a natural thing to do, right? Dr. Brian Najapfour And Lucas, to the more you do it, you get better, yeah of course, maybe your first, your first year, or first few months of doing it, don't expect to be an expert right away, because even myself, I'm not an expert. You always learn, and what's wonderful, too, your wife can help you. When you ask your children, they say things that I've never thought about. Oh, like it's amazing to use in my sermon preparation, too. I said, "Oh, I'm going to use that idea, precious idea. And even when kids ask questions, like they ask you, "Okay, why did God create the tree of the knowledge of good and evil? That's not fair. Why, if God knew that Adam would sin, why did He create Adam? Why? Why? There is hell? You know those questions now. There are times when to be honest and say good question, and I don't know the answer. Let me, let me study that, that subject. I'll maybe, yeah, yeah, and be honest. And then that, that should make you excited. Yeah, excited to do that. Okay, I have an assignment. My child is asking me this question. I want to, I want to answer it. Yep, so we can learn. We can learn. Lucas Holtvluwer Yeah. Well, it's nice that your kids always start young and then you get older, right? So, like, I have a two year old and three year old, and it's like, okay, you get some of the questions and you get it, you get a while to kind of grow in it, and as a teacher and explainer, and yeah, it's a blessing that way, for sure, too. Okay, I feel like I don't know for sure, but I'm guessing we're running tighter on time, so we get in the old wrap-up symbol here. So I'll hit you with a couple quicker ones to kind of end off. Yeah, I guess we kind of touched on this in terms of like people might object to the family worship to say, like, oh, this is too formulaic, and it's just like, you know, you put these inputs in, you get these outputs out. Where's the Holy Spirit in this? How do we.. how do you.. I guess keep that in mind when you're doing your family worship, or when you're pastoring other families to say, like, yes, put these habits in place, these are good habits, holy habits, even. They serve your sanctification in your sanctification process, but they are not the end all be all in themselves, either. Right? How do you kind of help people to kind of keep, keep both of those things in hand when they're thinking about family worship, that it's not this like easy formula, like your kids aren't guaranteed to be saved, because you're doing family worship, right? Yeah, how do you kind of guide people through that process? Dr. Brian Najapfour You just answered it on to the next. That will save us time. Lucas Holtvluwer That will save us time. Dr. Brian Najapfour It’s no guarantee. There's no guarantee, not because you have family worship, doesn't mean that all your children will be saved, but the Lord is pleased to use that means too, to save them. So, Lucas Holtvluwer And it's a calling. Dr. Brian Najapfour Yeah, it’s a calling, our responsibility, our duty. So we, we do it mindful that at the end of the day it is the Holy Spirit who will bless this, this means, and that's why we prayed too. Yep, we pray before, we pray after. Lord, bless this family worship. If Lucas Holtvluwer If you had one closing thought, for maybe in particular, like for fathers in the home, a kind of a closing like charge to leave with them, what would that be? Dr. Brian Najapfour I would say maybe addressing those fathers who have not yet done family worship. Lucas Holtvluwer Yeah. Dr. Brian Najapfour Do it now, don't wait. Time is time is too short, and think about this too. Lucas Holtvluwer You only have a few years to train them, Dr. Brian Najapfour By the time they turn 18, they want to be independent, they might move, maybe go elsewhere for college, then you don't have that opportunity anymore. So, basically, you have 18 years to train them, and if we think that, well, that's a lot of years. No, that means 18 summers, only 18 summers. So do it now, and if let's say you're doing it, but like what we discussed, maybe you're just reading, you're not really elaborating, guiding your family. Then pray to the Lord and look for tools that can help you. There are many books, resources, reform book services, they can always ask them, do you have books on family worship that I can, I can use, learn, or podcast, something like this, a similar podcast, for sure. They can google online also how to, how do it. Listen to messages on Family Worship Sermon audio.com is a good resource. Lucas Holtvluwer Come to your conference. Dr. Brian Najapfour Yeah, come to our conference. So, my point is that there's no excuse. No, do it, do it now, and, and do it as an expression of your gratitude for what God has done to us, and for us, and in us, and through us in the Gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ. Lucas Holtvluwer Wonderful. Well, Dr. Najapfour, really appreciate your time on the podcast. It's been a pleasure. Dr. Brian Najapfour Yeah, thank you. Thank you, Lucas, and to our listeners. Thank Lucas Holtvluwer And to our listeners, thank you for listening along. And if you have any questions, comments, concerns, feel free to send them in, and maybe we'll have you back one day again too. Dr. Brian Najapfour Wonderful, I'll be delighted again. Lucas Holtvluwer Wonderful. Okay, it's been real talk. We'll catch you next time. Closing Thanks for tuning in to Real Talk. If this episode inspired you, please share it with a friend, so you can continue this conversation in your own life. We encourage you to send us your feedback, or let us know who you would like to hear on the podcast. You can email us at Real Talk at Performed perspective.ca This episode is produced by Tyler Vanderwood, Lucas Holtfleur, and Mariah Taminga in partnership with Performed Perspective. Until next time, keep having Real Talk....

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Technology

On being smartphone-free for five years

Way back in the Fall of 2021, I ditched my iPhone and got a dumbphone. I was sick of how my smartphone was a major distraction in my life. My phone began to use up too much of my brain space and mental energy. Parts of my brain were always thinking about stuff on my phone: baseball scores, texts from friends, emails, my eBay store, a backpacking forum, and other similar things. Though I haven’t ever done too much with social media or YouTube, I was still on my phone way too much. I tried apps that helped minimize screen time, and they did help to some extent. But I wanted to try a clean break and get a dumbphone. Great advice is readily available By the way, it is pretty easy to try out a dumbphone. Most flip phones aren't terribly expensive, and you can often just swap SIM cards with your other phone. I started with a Nokia 6300. Then I got a CAT S22 flip phone and debloated it. I also tried out a $25 TCL flip phone. More recently, I got a Light Phone II. Note: The book Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport was a huge help in my move to a dumb phone. I highly recommend it! Jose Briones' book, Low Tech Life is also quite helpful. There are plenty of resources out there to help people minimize their phone usage because it is such a big problem. Fast-forward to over four years later: I have not gone back to a smartphone. And I’m not planning on doing so in the near future. For me, life is better without a smartphone in most situations. I can hang out with my friends and family and be completely present with them – my phone isn’t tugging at my attention. It’s no longer on my mind at all. I can stand in line at a store and talk to people or just think about random things rather than stare at a phone out of boredom. I don’t need email or a web browser when I’m at a baseball game, a movie, or out shopping for groceries. I still text a few times each day and make phone calls, but I’m pretty much never on it. In fact, without a smartphone, my brain is less cluttered, my thoughts are less distracted, and my attention span has increased. I don’t ever suffer from dopamine withdrawal, and I’m not anxious or in a zombie-like state from doomscrolling for hours. And no longer does a smartphone affect my sleep. I have more time each day because I’m rarely on my phone. For me, minimal phone time has had maximum life benefits. Speaking of anxiety and doomscrolling, another book I recently read is The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt. It is a book that documents the rise of adolescent/teen anxiety, depression, and other mental issues in the last ten years or so. The reason for these increases, Haidt argues, is that most children in the last ten years have had a screen-based childhood rather than a play-based childhood. It's a good book for parents to read. The author's advice and my advice is this: don't get your kids a smartphone until they're older – I'd say 17 or 18. As another author bluntly put it, don't get your kids a smartphone until you're prepared to deal with pornography in the home. Dumbphones, flip phones, and helpful apps Now, I realize that some people with certain jobs might be unable to move to a dumbphone because of their work or travel. For example, a friend of mine is a dispatcher and his smartphone is crucial for him to get his job done well. If your phone is truly important for work, you could perhaps get a dumbphone for evenings and weekends. As I mentioned above, you can also find apps that help minimize your screen time. There are various tried-and-true ways to help you avoid excessive screen time and its associated negatives. For those of you who don’t absolutely need a smartphone for work or another legitimate reason, I’d challenge you to do a digital detox and stop using one for a set number of days. Read Digital Minimalism and follow the advice there. Or read Catherine Price’s How to Break Up with Your Phone and give it a shot. As I mentioned earlier, cheap flip phones are an option for a digital detox. Thankfully, quite a few dumbphones and semi-dumbphones have come out in the last few years (see Dumbphones.org for a helpful list). Your brain will thank you I know that for some people, giving up a smartphone is almost impossible because the level of addiction is high. We’re not called the “dopamine nation” for nothing! But trust me, you can break up with your smartphone. You can take steps and develop habits to get your life back, regain your mental focus, and be present once again. You may want to get rid of your smartphone! Do you dare? Or maybe you just need a good app and an accountability partner. Whatever the case, I can say, based on some years of experience, that living without a smartphone is possible and beneficial. But even if you don’t totally give up your smartphone, I hope you find that drastically minimizing your smartphone use is a personal goal you make. And I guarantee that if you seriously cut down on your phone use, your brain will thank you! Shane Lems is the pastor of Covenant Orthodox Presbyterian Church in Hammond, Wisconsin, and blogs on books (and dumbphones too) at ReformedReader.wordpress.com, where a version of this article first appeared....

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News

Are you still able?

It used to be different, not all that long ago. Carrie is a teen who always had the kind of contagious smile that would get her friends smiling right back, no matter their mood. She used to shoot hoops with her younger sister after dinner. She enjoyed heart-to-heart chats with her mom while doing her hair. And she treasured many of the devotionals that her dad read to her by the glow of her small bedside lamp. George, a mechanic and all-around handyman, has always counted himself blessed to be married to his wife of 26 years. He was the kind of dad who’d get down on the ground to play with his kids. While three of his kids have moved out, his two youngest children still live at home. George has served as a deacon in his church, where his love of tinkering was a help not only to his own family but to some of the older couples in his ward. Liz’s life changed after losing her husband eight years ago. But she did an amazing job doting on all five of her children, her 23 grandchildren, and the seven great-grandchildren. She’d always make it out for every one of their milestones to give out hugs, and to remind her growing clan of God’s goodness and love. Then, not right away, but over the weeks and months and years, things changed. Carrie’s sister, mom, and grandparents now don’t see much of Carrie. OK, they see her, but not her eyes. Carrie is mostly head down, scrolling on her phone and messaging with people they don’t even know. Her mom has a hard time remembering when they last shared a good chat, or when she last saw her daughter’s beautiful smile. Dad’s devotionals were replaced by someone Carrie follows on Instagram who posts short reflections… which Carrie reads when she has time. George’s wife knows that her husband is still committed to their marriage. But she is having a hard time competing with the attention he gives to his various YouTube subscriptions. His ward doesn’t see him much outside of church, and he seems to spend more time watching clips about fixing cars than actually fixing them. And lately his scale seems to be out by at least 10 pounds. Instead of dropping by with a card, Grandma Liz now sends a WhatsApp message when her children and grandchildren celebrate a birthday. She has become very hesitant to head out her front door. It’s all the nightly news she’s been watching, which is making the world look like an ever-scarier place. Even when she makes a grocery trip, she stays out for as short a time as possible. Carrie, George, and Liz all go to the same church, and share this in common too: they have all slowly become dominated by their screens. None of them think it’s a real problem, but, if pressed, they will agree that they spend more time on their screens than they did a couple of years ago. But isn’t that just life today? Increased screen time may well be one of the biggest changes our world has experienced in the past half-century, with one estimate putting the global average for daily Internet usage at 6 hours and 38 minutes. The correlation between screen time and anxiety, mental health challenges, and weight gain is well-known now. What isn’t so well documented, or discussed in church, is the impact that screens are having on our pace as we “run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus” (Heb 12:1-2). Putting screens in their place When Reformed Perspective did a deep dive into this topic last spring, we promoted The Tech-Wise Family by Andy Crouch. Crouch correctly shifts the focus from whether a particular type of technology can or can’t be allowed, to instead how these technologies can be put in their proper place, so that priorities like family, friends, and faith remain priorities. But how is this going for you? Screen time, like money and sex, has become a sensitive topic – okay to talk about in generalities, but don’t get personal! We’re all quick to be defensive and shut down the discussion if anyone dares raise the topic of our own usage. That’s why we challenged our readers to a 10-day screen fast in the last issue. The goal of such a fast isn’t to eradicate screens from our lives. But don’t we all see wisdom in implementing a reset? Let’s test it out, to determine just how reliant we are on our devices, and what sort of impact this dependence may be having on our relationships, including with our LORD. Last month our Assistant Editor Marty VanDriel gathered a group and gave the challenge a go, and you can read about how their screen fast went. Now we’re issuing the challenge again because some generous supporters have presented us with quite the offer. For every person that commits to, and completes, a ten-day screen fast from July 21 to 30 they will donate $100, split between two charities (Word & Deed and Reformed Perspective). They will give up to $20,000! Could you do it? Do you have what it takes to put your screens aside for 10 days? (The screen challenge allows exceptions for necessary activities, like your job and making a phone call.) It may be hard to do this by yourself, so would you consider asking some of your family, friends, and siblings in the LORD to join you? If you can get a group of 10 together, that can serve as a great accountability and encouragement. Plus, it will lead to $1,000 going to two very good causes. And if you don’t think screens are much of a challenge for you, we encourage you to ask your loved ones if they think you should give this screen fast a try. This challenge isn’t so much about saying no to screens as it is about saying yes to other priorities. That’s why we’ve put together 35 ideas for fun, productive, and meaningful activities you can challenge yourself to do during these 10 days. Enjoy some time travel Can you remember not having your phone in your pocket, or not hearing the ping of a new message on your tablet? Although we think screens are essential, we have the power to make necessary changes in our lives. A screen fast can serve as an important reminder to yourself that you don’t have to keep living the way you have. Instead of scrolling, Carrie can shoot some hoops with her sister again. George can go for a walk with his wife, and drop by the home of the young man in his ward who hasn’t been coming to church much lately. And Liz can write a card and deliver it in person to her granddaughter. Yes, you can ignore this screen fast, and hope that your family members and friends don’t bring it up either. But before you brush it aside and reach for your phone, consider for a moment what you want your legacy to be at your funeral. Which Carrie, George, and Liz do you want to be? The one before the screen addiction, or the one after?...

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Parenting

Give your kids a super power

Reading to your kids will give them something better than the ability to leap tall buildings ***** I've been thinking lately that books are incredible. They are full of adventures and worlds and characters that shape us in profound ways. They make us laugh and cry and think. They dispel boredom, boost grades and reduce poverty. Giving kids access to books is like giving them a super power. There is only one problem: Not every child can unlock this power. They may be literate and able to read, but they aren't readers – kids who love good books and devour as many as they can. If you can raise your children to be readers, you will unleash a power that will change their lives. Parents say, “I wish my son would read, but he just doesn't enjoy it." How do we get kids to fall in love with reading? Of all the skills we want our children to master, reading is near the top of the list. We want our children to love words so that they will be daily readers of the Word. The Bible is a challenging book, and our children need to be able to read and understand it in order to grow in their relationship with God. We want them to read Christian literature so that they will grow in faith and that they can be a blessing to others. And one day, our boys might become elders or deacons, and they will need to do a lot of reading. If they are fluent readers, their task will not be such a burden. Raising readers is a priority for Christians. So how do we get them to change from those who love the image to those who love the Word? A soccer lesson A baby is not born wanting to read, any more than he is born wanting to play soccer (believe it or not!). So what makes kids learn to love soccer? Usually, someone in their life is excited about the sport and introduces them to it. They practice with their mom or dad or brother or friend, and the more they play the better they get. Soon they enter a positive upward spiral: They enjoy soccer because it's fun, so they play lots and they improve – and they love soccer even more! To get proficient at a skill, children need to practice it over and over. But they are the same as adults: they tend to avoid things that give them pain and to do things that give them pleasure. Learning to read involves a certain amount of pain. Have you ever sat next to a child sounding out her home reader? Yeah, I know. If it’s painful for you, what do you think it’s like for your child? Children need to read a lot to get proficient, but they won’t unless it's enjoyable. So they enter a negative downward spiral: They don't enjoy reading because it's hard, so they don't practice and they fall further behind – and they hate reading even more! If only we could make the pleasure of reading outweigh the pain long enough for kids to become proficient readers. Then the super power will be unleashed. When they start to read because they want to, a whole new world of ideas, delights and experiences will open up before them like the view from a mountain peak. In love with reading So how do we get our kids to fall in love with reading? With books? The answer is very simple: We read to our kids out loud. We start as soon as we can and we read for a minimum of fifteen minutes. Every day. Throughout their childhood. It’s not complicated. It doesn’t cost any money. But it is the secret to raising readers. How does this help? You might be wondering, "If I'm doing all the reading, how is that helping my child to read on her own?" Reading to kids is like advertising for books. From a very young age, children learn that great books are a source of joy and delight. They associate these books with the pleasure of snuggling on your lap. They are drawn into the story so that when you stop, they say, “Oooh, keep reading, keep reading!” And they steal the book off the shelf and read the next chapter on their own because they can’t wait to find out what happens next. They are highly motivated to master this skill. The pleasure outweighs the pain. Most kids start school eager to learn to read. But as they go through the grades, this interest drops lower and lower. They might know how to read, but they never pick up a book. What is happening? The advertising has stopped. Parents figure they don't need to keep reading to their child now that he can read on his own. But here's the thing. A child's level of comprehension is way above his reading ability until about grade eight. The gap doesn't close until age 13 to 14. That means in the early grades he’s stuck reading “Matt and Pat put on a hat” when what he’s thirsting for is adventure stories, with knights and spies and fearsome foes and daring-do. But he can’t read that on his own yet. He is stuck reading simple, boring books. Then the pain outweighs the pleasure. It's not worth the slog. We have to keep advertising. We have to keep reading out loud. Wait, there's more Reading aloud is such a bonding thing to do with your kids. The story characters become part of your family culture. You laugh and cry together. You discuss serious topics together. You read chapter after chapter way past bedtime because it’s too exciting to stop. It’s a simple, beautiful activity in which your children feel very loved. My dad was a very busy man, and he had a hard time talking to his children. But one of the ways I knew that he loved me was that when I was a teenager, every night, I would go into his study, and he would read The Viking Saga by Henry Treece. My dad was diagnosed with cancer when my youngest sister was 10 years old. He kept reading The Hobbit to her every night until he was too sick to continue. Those moments are now some of her most treasured memories of her dad. Reading to your children is one of the most powerful things you can do for them. But how do we compete for their attention in an age of screens and constant entertainment? And where do we find the time to fit this into our hectic schedule? And what if I'm not good at reading? To help, here are twelve tips for developing a read-aloud habit in your home. 12 tips We all have the same twenty-four hours in a day and we find time for whatever we think is important. The bottom line is: reading to our children only happens if it's a priority! And here’s how to do it. Start small. It’s better to read every day for five minutes, than to wait for that elusive half hour of "free time." Build the habit and the attention spans slowly. Decide on a set time and place. Write your plan down, post it on the fridge and tell your kids you are starting a new habit. Attach reading aloud to a habit your family already has, such as eating a snack after school. Let them know “It’s book reading time!” Soon they will be reminding you! If your children are very active, pick a time when their energy levels are low and they would appreciate snuggling in for a story. Every child is happy to listen to a story if it means bedtime will be postponed. How well you read doesn’t matter. As the parent, you are the best reader for your child, especially fathers. Pick a book that you enjoy and don’t be afraid to skip boring bits. Look for other pockets of time to read out loud. Keep a book in your bag for when you are waiting in the car or the doctor’s office. Resist giving them a screen to keep them occupied. You want to feed their brains, not damage them. Read around a campfire. Listen to audio books during long car rides – or short ones! You’d be amazed how much of the Bible you can listen to over a year of driving kids ten minutes to school. The NIV 1984 (dramatized version) is a favorite for our kids, with its sound effects of swords clashing and cargo splashing overboard. Record yourself reading aloud on your smartphone. Young children can listen to it while you make dinner. Have lots of great books in the house. Check out book sales and thrift stores. Give kids a bookshelf to start their own collection, and let grandparents know what titles they can give as birthday presents. Visit your local library regularly (with discernment!). Make use of their online reservation system to make requests. Children should see you enjoying books, so model reading for yourself. Keep reading to children even after they learn to read. Let’s do this together Many of the ideas in this article are based on The Read-Aloud Handbook by Jim Trelease, first self-published in 1979 and now in its 8th edition. I highly recommend it, especially because it contains extensive lists of books for all ages. It might make for a good selection for any book club you are in, or want to start. Tackling it together could be a wonderful encouragement – we can help each other keep up with this important habit. Let me leave you with the concluding verse from a Strickland Gillilan poem: You may have tangible wealth untold; Caskets of jewels and coffers of gold. Richer than I you can never be – I had a Mother who read to me. Amanda Poppe writes Christian fiction for children ages 8-12. Find her at amandapoppe.com and download a free short story to read to your kids. A version of this article first appeared in Una Sancta....

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