Parenting

Give your kids a super power

Reading to your kids will give them something better than the ability to leap tall buildings

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I've been thinking lately that books are incredible. They are full of adventures and worlds and characters that shape us in profound ways. They make us laugh and cry and think. They dispel boredom, boost grades and reduce poverty. Giving kids access to books is like giving them a super power.

There is only one problem: Not every child can unlock this power.

They may be literate and able to read, but they aren't readers – kids who love good books and devour as many as they can. If you can raise your children to be readers, you will unleash a power that will change their lives.

Parents say, “I wish my son would read, but he just doesn't enjoy it." How do we get kids to fall in love with reading?

Of all the skills we want our children to master, reading is near the top of the list. We want our children to love words so that they will be daily readers of the Word. The Bible is a challenging book, and our children need to be able to read and understand it in order to grow in their relationship with God. We want them to read Christian literature so that they will grow in faith and that they can be a blessing to others. And one day, our boys might become elders or deacons, and they will need to do a lot of reading. If they are fluent readers, their task will not be such a burden. Raising readers is a priority for Christians.

So how do we get them to change from those who love the image to those who love the Word?

A soccer lesson

A baby is not born wanting to read, any more than he is born wanting to play soccer (believe it or not!).

So what makes kids learn to love soccer? Usually, someone in their life is excited about the sport and introduces them to it. They practice with their mom or dad or brother or friend, and the more they play the better they get. Soon they enter a positive upward spiral:

They enjoy soccer because it's fun, so they play lots and they improve – and they love soccer even more!

To get proficient at a skill, children need to practice it over and over. But they are the same as adults: they tend to avoid things that give them pain and to do things that give them pleasure. Learning to read involves a certain amount of pain. Have you ever sat next to a child sounding out her home reader? Yeah, I know. If it’s painful for you, what do you think it’s like for your child?

Children need to read a lot to get proficient, but they won’t unless it's enjoyable. So they enter a negative downward spiral:

They don't enjoy reading because it's hard, so they don't practice and they fall further behind – and they hate reading even more!

If only we could make the pleasure of reading outweigh the pain long enough for kids to become proficient readers. Then the super power will be unleashed. When they start to read because they want to, a whole new world of ideas, delights and experiences will open up before them like the view from a mountain peak.

In love with reading

So how do we get our kids to fall in love with reading? With books? The answer is very simple: We read to our kids out loud. We start as soon as we can and we read for a minimum of fifteen minutes. Every day. Throughout their childhood.

It’s not complicated. It doesn’t cost any money. But it is the secret to raising readers.

How does this help?

You might be wondering, "If I'm doing all the reading, how is that helping my child to read on her own?"

Reading to kids is like advertising for books. From a very young age, children learn that great books are a source of joy and delight. They associate these books with the pleasure of snuggling on your lap. They are drawn into the story so that when you stop, they say, “Oooh, keep reading, keep reading!” And they steal the book off the shelf and read the next chapter on their own because they can’t wait to find out what happens next. They are highly motivated to master this skill.

The pleasure outweighs the pain.

Most kids start school eager to learn to read. But as they go through the grades, this interest drops lower and lower. They might know how to read, but they never pick up a book. What is happening?

The advertising has stopped. Parents figure they don't need to keep reading to their child now that he can read on his own. But here's the thing. A child's level of comprehension is way above his reading ability until about grade eight. The gap doesn't close until age 13 to 14. That means in the early grades he’s stuck reading “Matt and Pat put on a hat” when what he’s thirsting for is adventure stories, with knights and spies and fearsome foes and daring-do. But he can’t read that on his own yet. He is stuck reading simple, boring books.

Then the pain outweighs the pleasure.

It's not worth the slog.

We have to keep advertising. We have to keep reading out loud.

Wait, there's more

Reading aloud is such a bonding thing to do with your kids. The story characters become part of your family culture. You laugh and cry together. You discuss serious topics together. You read chapter after chapter way past bedtime because it’s too exciting to stop. It’s a simple, beautiful activity in which your children feel very loved.

My dad was a very busy man, and he had a hard time talking to his children. But one of the ways I knew that he loved me was that when I was a teenager, every night, I would go into his study, and he would read The Viking Saga by Henry Treece.

My dad was diagnosed with cancer when my youngest sister was 10 years old. He kept reading The Hobbit to her every night until he was too sick to continue. Those moments are now some of her most treasured memories of her dad.

Reading to your children is one of the most powerful things you can do for them.

But how do we compete for their attention in an age of screens and constant entertainment? And where do we find the time to fit this into our hectic schedule? And what if I'm not good at reading?

To help, here are twelve tips for developing a read-aloud habit in your home.

12 tips

We all have the same twenty-four hours in a day and we find time for whatever we think is important. The bottom line is: reading to our children only happens if it's a priority! And here’s how to do it.

1. Start small. It’s better to read every day for five minutes, than to wait for that elusive half hour of "free time." Build the habit and the attention spans slowly.
2. Decide on a set time and place. Write your plan down, post it on the fridge and tell your kids you are starting a new habit. Attach reading aloud to a habit your family already has, such as eating a snack after school. Let them know “It’s book reading time!” Soon they will be reminding you!
3. If your children are very active, pick a time when their energy levels are low and they would appreciate snuggling in for a story. Every child is happy to listen to a story if it means bedtime will be postponed.
4. How well you read doesn’t matter. As the parent, you are the best reader for your child, especially fathers. Pick a book that you enjoy and don’t be afraid to skip boring bits.
5. Look for other pockets of time to read out loud. Keep a book in your bag for when you are waiting in the car or the doctor’s office. Resist giving them a screen to keep them occupied. You want to feed their brains, not damage them.
6. Read around a campfire.
7. Listen to audio books during long car rides – or short ones! You’d be amazed how much of the Bible you can listen to over a year of driving kids ten minutes to school. The NIV 1984 (dramatized version) is a favorite for our kids, with its sound effects of swords clashing and cargo splashing overboard.
8. Record yourself reading aloud on your smartphone. Young children can listen to it while you make dinner.
9. Have lots of great books in the house. Check out book sales and thrift stores. Give kids a bookshelf to start their own collection, and let grandparents know what titles they can give as birthday presents.
10. Visit your local library regularly (with discernment!). Make use of their online reservation system to make requests.
11. Children should see you enjoying books, so model reading for yourself.
12. Keep reading to children even after they learn to read.

Let’s do this together

Many of the ideas in this article are based on The Read-Aloud Handbook by Jim Trelease, first self-published in 1979 and now in its 8th edition. I highly recommend it, especially because it contains extensive lists of books for all ages. It might make for a good selection for any book club you are in, or want to start. Tackling it together could be a wonderful encouragement – we can help each other keep up with this important habit.

Let me leave you with the concluding verse from a Strickland Gillilan poem:

You may have tangible wealth untold;
Caskets of jewels and coffers of gold.
Richer than I you can never be –
I had a Mother who read to me.

Amanda Poppe writes Christian fiction for children ages 8-12. Find her at amandapoppe.com and download a free short story to read to your kids. A version of this article first appeared in Una Sancta.

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