“If I’m caught up on my laundry, does that mean I’m not doing enough for the church?”
“Am I allowed to fit in time for exercise, or only if it’s between 6 and 7 AM?”
“Can I say ‘no’ to the women’s Bible study if it’s the only night this week that my husband and I are both home?”

Even when our hearts and minds are in the right place, there are still to-do’s and deadlines, crises in our life, and decisions to be made (and, occasionally, goofy questions that cross our mind). Here are some of the tips women shared with me (quoted and paraphrased) to help tame the inevitable busyness of life.

Be deliberate about the complications you add

Be deliberate about the complications you add to your life…

Our gadgets, our wardrobe, our extracurriculars, how we celebrate holidays – can we simplify? How busy are we with details that don’t really matter, or that add more stress than joy?

Every commitment or complication you add to your life (joining a sports team, getting a pet, opening an Etsy shop, growing a garden) adds busyness – often more than we anticipate. Embrace these kinds of good opportunities, by all means, but choose the ones that will truly enrich your life and that fit in with your other priorities.

Know your limits

Don’t cheat your body – it really does need sleep, healthy food, and exercise (and maybe not quite that much caffeine). Recognize not just your limits of physical busyness, but also of being mentally/emotionally “used up.”

• “I used to ‘push through,’ but there’s always a payback time eventually.”
• “Develop healthy habits and trust God to care for you.”
• “When I cross the line to too busy, I start to take myself too seriously, I lose joy in my task, and the people that I presumably love the most in the world become burdensome to me. That is always my sign that I have to slow down.”
• “If I can’t help with something I can always pray for that person, activity, situation. I’m saying no but I trust that God is already there providing.”

Know what’s important

You will miss out on some good and worthwhile things – and so will your kids. If you know you’re saying “no” to something because you’re committed to what you’re saying “yes” to, it’s easier to let opportunities pass you by.

• “I decided that, at this stage of life, healthy meals are more important than a perfectly clean house. Maybe one day I’ll have time for both… or, maybe not.”
• “Sometimes ‘done’ is better than ‘perfect.’”
• “Accept a bit more chaos.”
• “There are times when I suddenly realize that all the kids are overdue for haircuts again, and the boys’ pants are showing a bit too much sock. But they’re all loved and fed so I try not to stress too much.”

Know what “fills you up”

Some things deplete us (and we can’t entirely avoid these things), while other things recharge us. Recognize the things that energize you, and find opportunities to do them: coaching a school team, baking cinnamon buns for a stressed-out friend, bringing flowers to shut-ins, writing an article?

Start your day right

What do you reach for first in the morning: your phone or your Bible?

Treasure Sundays and breaks that refresh

Sunday can bring its own busyness. If you’re not refreshed and refocused by your Sunday habits, does something need to change?

Breaks are good, but sometimes they’re not truly rejuvenating. The last time you let yourself mindlessly scroll on your phone for a mental break, how did you actually feel afterwards? What if you took a short walk or picked up your devotional instead?

Identify your biggest time-waster(s)

Where or how do you get most distracted and waste the most time, without any significant benefit to yourself or others? Reclaim some of this “lost time”: set time limits for yourself, ask for accountability from a loved one, or remove the source of a temptation.

Do the small thing when you can’t do the big one

No time for that visit? You can send an encouraging note. Never seem to make it to the gym? Find a ten-minute online workout. Something is (almost) always better than nothing.

• “Do a little and trust that God will use it.”

Spread the load

If you’re a mom – kids and chores: how well acquainted are yours? Your investment of time in teaching your kids helpful skills will pay off for everyone, not least for your kids themselves.

Do you have a friend or sibling with different strengths than you? Could you swap some tasks in a way that benefits you both?

Get extra mileage out of your time

• “I listen to the Bible on audio while driving, or cooking.”
• “We use our dinner times to intentionally check in with our kids, try to have meaningful conversations and stay connected.”
• “Turn all those driving time (sports, appointments, etc.) into one-on-one ‘dates’ with your kids. Often great conversations happen when it’s just the two of you in the car.”
• “If you’re running an errand, always take one child along.”

Kids and chores: are yours acquainted?

Recognize there are different seasons in life

Although balance is a good overall goal, there are seasons that will feel out of balance. There are also times when certain things we’d love to do just aren’t possible because of the pressing needs of the moment.

One mom shared with me that she used to get frustrated because it was hard to find quiet time for devotions with her young kids around. So she started doing devotions with them instead – reading and praying out loud, and letting her kids “take notes” in their own little notebooks while she journaled. It’s been a good solution for this stage of her life.

• “Looking back, the time when my kids were small and were all at home was so short. Why was I so impatient to try to fit in all kinds of other things?”

Count your blessings

• “Sometimes when I feel complain-y about all the things I have to do, I think about my immigrant grandmothers. I have choices and conveniences they never would’ve dreamed of. It’s a good reality check.”