Transparent heart icon with white outline and + sign.

Life's busy, read it when you're ready!

Create a free account to save articles for later, keep track of past articles you’ve read, and receive exclusive access to all RP resources.

White magnifying glass.

Search thousands of RP articles

Articles, news, and reviews that celebrate God's truth.

Open envelope icon with @ symbol

Get Articles Delivered!

Articles, news, and reviews that celebrate God's truth. delivered direct to your Inbox!



Magazine, Past Issue

Mar/April 2025 issue

WHAT'S INSIDE: Christians don't retire / Free video series to protect families from porn / Tariffs are terrible economics: why Canada shouldn't hit back / Aged saints can tell you what your peers don't know or won't say / Planning for retirement / More time to pray: Martin & Christina Veenstra on retirement in your nineties / Necessary Endings: finding the courage to let go in business, church, and family / "Can You Build it?" contest winners / Life in bloom: the gift of flowers / A century of cinema for your family: 20+ films to take you and your kids through the 100 years of feature films / Euthanasia changed the abortion battle / Why write? / How to write... for Reformed Perspective / Fiction for tween and teen boys / Chang Shen: grace to persevere / Are there little green men? / Come + Explore God's majestic microverse / and more!

Click the cover to view in your browser
or click here to download the PDF (13 mb)



News

Saturday Selections – Mar. 29, 2025

Propaganda techniques (10 minutes)

This 1948 or 1949 movie highlights seven different propaganda techniques, and to be forewarned about them is to be forearmed. This could be great for a high school English class. Click the title above for the full 10-minute color presentation, or watch a 7-minute B&W abridgment below.

News or narrative – when the truth-tellers can't be trusted

What with images and video that can be faked so quickly and so skillfully, the biggest problem with our news consumption might be the speed at which we imbibe. When we just hit headlines, or read whoever the algorithm puts in front of us, we can't know if they are trustworthy – we can't know that this is true. So... slow down.

The slippery slope of theistic Darwinism

Howard Van Till was a physics professor at Calvin College who used to be "the pre-eminent example of an evangelical Christian scientist in the 1990s who defended Darwinian evolution."

Until he stopped being Christian.

Or even a theist.

Doctor Google, influencer moms, and the local Church

"I recently saw some Christian influencers offer a course on marriage, though they had been married for less than two years. They had paltry experience and undoubtedly little wisdom, but they did have a big platform. And many were eager to learn from them. God has carefully constructed his church so that, as much as we may benefit from those who are far off, we are likely to find the greatest and most credible help nearby. Your church has many seasoned saints who have spent their whole lives following the Lord and whose godliness is on display each and every time the church gathers."
- Tim Challies

A mid-life assessment

A pastor's wife discovers with age comes new:

"...temptations to impatience, ungraciousness, pride. This had surprised me then, but I now see this is true not just in ministry. I used to imagine I’d have to fight the same besetting sins my whole life, and while some old struggles still remain, I’ve found I need to also be vigilant for new ones."

Rend Collective: Build Your Kingdom Here

A song and a prayer.


Today's Devotional

April 1 - Introduction to the prophecies of the Messiah

The Old Testament is full of prophecies regarding the coming Messiah – the greater Son of David. Isaiah has often been called ‘The Gospel According to Isaiah’ as it is so detailed in describing the birth, ministry, suffering, death and victory of God’s Son – the Servant King.

In the New Testament we see many references from the Psalms, to God’s promise working itself out in His >

Today's Manna Podcast

Manna Podcast banner: Manna Daily Scripture Meditations and open Bible with jar logo

Knowing God

Serving #799 of Manna, prepared by Jake Torenvliet, is called "Knowing God".















Red heart icon with + sign.
News

Spiritual warfare becoming more visible at Canadian universities

While big companies like Google and Walmart are quickly abandoning their diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) policies, a new study reveals just how committed Canada’s largest universities are to this woke agenda. The Aristotle Foundation studied approximately 50 academic job postings from the largest public university in each province, and found that 98 percent of the 489 postings included DEI requirements or strategies to fill their positions. DEI policies flow out of the critical theory worldview, which has become the dominant worldview influencing secular Canadian institutions, including schools and universities. Their goal is to raise up groups which they deem to have been disadvantaged or “oppressed,” including LGBTQ+, visible minorities, and women, while putting down the “oppressors,” especially heterosexuals, Caucasians, and males. Just as Christian schools and universities want to ensure that their teachers and staff uphold their Christian values, these public universities are increasingly becoming open about their own doctrinal commitments. For example, a current job posting from the department of physics at the University of New Brunswick states: “…only applicants who self-identify as members of gender equity deserving groups (including cisgender women, transgender women, transgender men, two-spirit, and non-binary) and/or as racialized individuals will be considered for this opportunity.” Satan and his forces are constantly deceiving. They use positive words like diversity, inclusion, and equity, but then make them mean almost the opposite – a weapon for discrimination and against equal opportunity. In contrast, God calls on us to do unto others as we would want done to us (Matt. 7:12). If we took this to heart, we would indeed care for the oppressed, while also offering a position to the person most qualified for it, so they in turn can be a blessing to others....

Red heart icon with + sign.
Christian education

What about a Christian university? My experience at Dordt University

I love learning. Whether that love is innate or whether it was instilled in me as I grew up, I don’t know. I’ve always loved learning about pretty much anything. The biological intricacies of life, the vastness of space, the stories of history, the nuances of political philosophy, or the mysteries of the end times have all taken their turns at seizing my imagination. And that learning didn’t stop at head knowledge. I remember a specific story from Ralph Moody’s Little Britches, a novel that my dad once read aloud to me and my younger siblings. I’ve forgotten most of the plotline, aside from the fact that the homesteading setting reminded me of the Ingalls in The Little House on the Prairie, but I remember the analogy that the father  relayed to his younger sons. “Your character is like a house,” Pa said, “You can either add boards to build it up, or you can tear boards off.” Ever since, that idea that your character requires constant building and maintenance has been etched into my mind. And so, when I was in my final year of high school, I naturally looked for places to pursue this love of knowledge and continue to build my character as a young Christian man. I didn’t even bother applying to secular institutions. I knew that I might glean some knowledge there, but that they certainly wouldn’t form me into a godlier Christian. To borrow from some of the parables of Jesus and the analogies of James, why would I expect a bad tree to produce good fruit or a salty spring fresh water? No, if I truly wanted to mature in my faith, I felt that an education in an institution that is antithetical to God simply wasn’t a wise option. I had spent twelve years being homeschooled, studying at a Christian school, and attending a Reformed church. My parents, my teachers, and my pastors all emphasized the importance of Christian education. Why would I forsake that lynch pin in my Christian formation after graduating high school? And so I applied to the Christian institution I was most familiar with: Dordt University. My parents had both attended the rural university in northwest Iowa. I had just stayed on campus for a week during a family reunion the previous summer. I had extended family in the area. I got a decent scholarship and was lured by the opportunity to play on a university hockey team. And so, two months after graduating from high school, I packed my bags and made the twenty-five-hour road trip stateside. Now, I have no idea what God has in store for me over the remaining years of my life, but my four years at Dordt have been the best four of my life. And I count myself a wiser, godlier, and more successful person for them. The benefits The formal academics were part of it. Dordt is a liberal arts university, meaning that every student has to take a wide range of courses in addition to required courses in their field to graduate. All of these courses were based in a Reformed Christian worldview, focusing on the religious orientation, creational structure, and creational development of all the subject matter and contemporary responses of Christians in these fields. In my experience, this Reformed worldview was applied just as consistently – if not more consistently – than the Reformed high school that I had attended. The relationships that I formed, though, were even more impactful. In university, you might be shaped by professors in the classroom 15-20 hours a week, but I interacted with other students almost every waking hour. Over 90% of Dordt’s student body lives on campus in dormitories or apartment buildings, so you are with fellow Christian students virtually all of the time. Because of this continual contact, I formed more and deeper friendships with fellow students at Dordt than at any other time of my life. I developed deep friendships with roommates, hockey teammates, and members of my “Dordt family.” These friendships even extended to the professors. I visited the homes of three or four professors over the years, attended church with some of them, and even exchanged Christmas cards with one over the years. Some of the godliest role models that I have met were fellow students from Dordt’s hockey team and from student Bible studies. Dordt is also where I met my wife, Jillian. Now, both Jillian and I very intentionally went to Dordt not to find a future spouse. We were there to study and learn, particularly in our first couple years of study. But God, in His providence, had other plans for us. He brought us together in our first year of university. We dated and were engaged most of our university life and got married a few months after we graduated. One of the most important decisions of your life is finding a spouse. I’d hazard a guess that most members of the Reformed community have found a godly spouse from their local church or local Christian high school, though some may have gone further afield to a regional youth retreat in search of marriage partners. One of the advantages of a Christian post-secondary institution is that it brings young Christian men and women from across the country – and, in my case, across the world – to the same spot. And while I firmly believe that the primary reason for education is for personal formation – formation of character as well as knowledge and skills – getting a post-secondary degree is certainly an ancillary bonus. With so many professional jobs today requiring or giving preference to applicants with a post-secondary degree, getting a degree opened up a whole new world of employment opportunities and has made me better at the job that I have now. There would be no way that I could write in this magazine as well, or analyze policies for ARPA as astutely, without having attended a Christian post-secondary institution. And finally, attending a Christian post-secondary institution was just plain fun. I stayed up well past midnight almost every night for four years laughing with friends and engaging in deep conversations with roommates. I hit the ice four times a week for hockey practice and traveled the central states playing back-to-back hockey games Friday and Saturday evenings. I started a Sunday afternoon board games club to challenge friends to friendly games of Settlers of Catan, Seven Wonders, or Tammany Hall. I traveled to Washington, DC, to attend a national conservative political action conference and volunteered at a presidential debate with the College Republican Club. I volunteered to visit a fundamentalist Mormon community in Arizona, a Navajo reserve in New Mexico, and hurricane-battered New Orleans for short-term missions trips on three of my spring breaks. I won a campus air band competition, participated in the campus choir, and jammed with talented student vocalists and musicians. A growing number of people point out that a university education might not have a positive return on investment. In other words, it might end up costing more to attend in tuition payments and lost years of income than would be made up in higher salaries over the rest of your working life. And, depending on your field of study, that can be true. But, in my opinion, that is a pretty bare, narrow calculation. If it is just about the money and just about the degree, don’t bother with Christian post-secondary. You can definitely find cheaper alternatives to get a university degree. But Christian post-secondary is more than just about dollars and cents. If you prioritize deepening your spiritual walk with the LORD, developing a godlier character, making lifelong friends, and cultivating a more consistent Reformed Christian worldview, then Christian post-secondary, especially when it has a solid Reformed base, has a lot more plusses in its column. The dangers Of course, that doesn’t mean that there are no minuses to Christian post-secondary. No institution this side of glory is perfect. Even the best Christian post-secondary institution has its faults. The temptations common to young people in every other sphere of life don’t simply disappear because they are on a Christian campus. Discerning parents and prospective students should certainly be aware of the imperfections of Christian post-secondary institutions. I saw students kicked out because of substance abuse and disciplined because of sexual sins. Some students seemed to be more interested in partying and troublemaking than studying. A saddeningly high number of students didn’t attend church on a regular basis, much less twice a Sunday. Most students thought that it was perfectly acceptable to study on Sundays. Some professors were fired for bad theology or inappropriate conduct. And some unorthodox views will certainly be present on any Christian post-secondary campus, either among the student body or among the faculty. I encountered a belief in theistic evolution, the embrace of LGBTQ identities, and an egalitarian view of gender. Many Christian universities certainly leave something to be desired on these topics. The bottom line In my experience, the perceived and real dangers and costs of Christian post-secondary have led many in the North American Presbyterian and Reformed churches (NAPARC) orbit not to even seriously consider a Christian post-secondary education, much less actually pursue one. At the end of the day, I’m sharing my positive experience with a Christian university. And I’m not necessarily arguing for a specific Christian institution. There are lots of Christian universities, colleges, institutes, and Bible colleges in North America that are faithful to God’s Word to varying degrees, and I think that there is a strong case to be made that new orthodox institutions need to spring up to train the next generation to participate in all areas of society with a Christian worldview. But I certainly am arguing for the concept of Christian post-secondary education. I’ll wrap up with an application of the familiar parable of the talents. In this parable, a master gives each of his servants different amounts of money to steward while he is away. When he returns, he rewards the fruitful servants who grew that money and rebukes the fearful servant who simply hid his talent in the ground. Sandwiched as it is between other accounts of the final judgement in Matthew 25, the central message of this parable is clear. God expects us to develop the gifts that He has given us to their fullest extent. Burying those gifts is not only a waste. It is condemned. Not every high school graduate has the academic aptitude, moral character, or the financial means to attend a Christian university. But to those who do, I encourage you to at least seriously consider one Christian post-secondary institution. It can be an excellent way to cultivate the gifts that God has given you and to grow in your development as a follower of Christ....

Red heart icon with + sign.
Education

I’m graduating – now what?

You’re a high school senior; you’ve worked hard from kindergarten through 12th grade, and now you’re almost ready to graduate. You’re a little tired of being asked by friends and relatives: What are your plans after high school? You know they mean well, and are genuinely curious about your next steps, but you can’t answer them, because you just don’t know! I was once in your shoes, and I’d like to help you make fewer mistakes than I made as I muddled my way through the morass of post-secondary schooling and different job opportunities, before finding the right path for me. I stumbled, and I muddled, but am grateful that the Lord provided in all circumstances. What direction? When I was your age, most young folks who showed interest or aptitude inside the classroom were encouraged to pursue a university degree, for two main reasons. First, most people believed that to be able to provide well for your family, you needed a college or university degree to get the kind of job that would generate a reasonable income. Second, many Reformed Christians believed that we as the children and grandchildren of immigrants needed to have more influence on the academic and professional culture of North America. Therefore, it would be good if more Christian young people obtained undergraduate and graduate degrees. Have things changed since my high school graduation in 1986? In a word: yes. A college or university degree remains a necessity for some professions, and a helpful résumé addition for many others. But you can go without and still generate an income that will allow you to support your family, your church, and your community. If you have a specific plan that requires a degree – if you want to become a lawyer, or a minister, or a teacher – then university is your path. But what if you’re not sure? Don’t be a Logan Consider this fairly common scenario for two young Canadian students. Good buddies Logan and Josh both got pretty good grades at school, although Logan didn’t have to work very hard to get them, thanks to his good memory. He even qualified for a scholarship to McMaster University that enabled him to get reduced tuition! Josh and Logan both enjoyed working in the summers for a small local company, Boomtown Builders, doing small renovations and building decks, learning from their boss how to build efficiently and safely. Offered an opportunity, Josh decided that he would stay on full time at Boomtown after high school graduation. Logan was looking forward to his new university life at McMaster. But there were a couple of problems: Logan didn’t really know what he should study, and he hadn’t really learned how to study – in high school, he had rarely needed to crack open the books in the evenings. But of course, this was all about to change. In order to find his way, Logan took general courses in English, History, Biology and Calculus – he would have time to declare a major later. But with no one to look over his shoulder and remind him to get his assignments in on time, and without a clear direction and target to inspire him, Logan started to fall behind. Feeling behind the curve, he started to skip classes. Not going to classes meant he was ill-prepared for quizzes and tests, and he didn’t hand in some of his assignments. At the end of his second semester, Logan had failed two courses, and his marks were so poor overall that he lost his scholarship and would have to pay full tuition the following school year. Will Logan end up going back for his second year, or has he just wasted ten months and thousands of dollars? Meanwhile Josh was taking on more responsibility at Boomtown, even running a small job on his own so the company could take on a few more projects. With the boss’s encouragement, Josh enrolled in a college course on estimating, so that he could help out on that side of the growing business. His responsibilities grew, and his income grew, and Josh became a very valuable member of Boomtown Builders, with a promising future. In this simple story, Logan wasted his time and treasure by not working hard, and Josh made good progress and established a healthy direction for his life by applying his skills and working diligently. Had Logan just worked hard, attended classes, and applied himself, perhaps he also would have charted a path towards a successful career. But by enrolling at university without a clear target and direction, Logan ended up spinning his wheels ineffectively. It might have been far better for him to work a year at Boomtown to find out more about what he was good at, and what he enjoyed, before deciding on a target, and how to get there. Have a plan In Proverbs 21:5, Solomon reminds us “The plans of the diligent lead surely to abundance, but everyone who is hasty comes only to poverty.” Earlier, in chapter 19, he advises “Listen to advice, and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future.” There are many resources available to high school students to help you make a plan for your post-secondary life. Your school has guidance counselors who would be glad to make you aware of opportunities that may suit your skills. Your parents, your uncles and aunts, and grandparents all might encourage you in different directions. The next time they ask you, “What are you going to do after high school?” you can ask them what they think you should do! You can’t follow everyone’s advice, but you can certainly listen and reflect on what those who know you well give you as counsel (Prov. 1:8-9). By the end of your high school years, you’ll probably have worked part time, or during the summers, with different employers. These job experiences can be hugely valuable in discovering your skills, your interests, and what long-term prospects are like in these fields. Whatever your current job is, work diligently and industriously for the benefit of your employer and their customers. On your breaks and at lunch time, ask lots of questions to your boss and your co-workers, especially about what this business needs to be even more successful. What kind of talents are needed there, and what kind of education or training might one need to fill the areas of need? Even if you determine that the type of work you did as a student isn’t something you would want as a career, you haven’t wasted your time. The experience will leave you more determined to find an occupation that you enjoy, and more motivated if you do enter college or a trade school to push through to get your qualifications: “I know I don’t want to do that, so I’ll work extra hard to chart out a different path!” Knowing how hard a restaurant server works, or how difficult it can be to work construction on a cold winter’s day will also help you gain appreciation for your neighbors who do labor in these occasionally thankless fields. Consider the cost! In Luke 14:28-29, Jesus says: “For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it? Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who see it will mock him.” It’s a basic principle in life, also echoed often in the book of Proverbs: have a plan, and count your costs up front! Before enrolling at a college, trade school, or university, you should carefully consider how much your certification will cost, and how you will pay for your years of schooling. One financial analyst recommends that a student spend no more on tuition and books over the course of their schooling than how much they could expect to make in their first year of employment in that profession. As an example, if a newly certified teacher could be expected to earn $45,000 in his first year of teaching, then he should find a way to spend less than $45,000 in educational expenses to earn his degree. This is just a general guideline, not a hard and fast rule, but it may give you some direction for a reasonable and prudent budget as you begin your studies. It is even more important to consider how you will pay for your degree. In the United States, it is very common for young people to borrow over $120,000 to obtain a four-year degree, and lenders have made it very easy for them to get these loans. According to Statistics Canada’s latest numbers in 2020, on average, Canadians graduating with an undergraduate degree have $30,000 in student loan debt, and will take an average of eight years to pay off these debts. Avoid the debt trap The Bible has warnings against becoming indebted, at one point comparing debt to becoming a slave: “The rich rules over the poor, and the borrower is a slave of the lender” (Prov. 22:7). For many, student loan debt is a trap, easy to fall into and hard to get free of, so I would strongly advise against borrowing to pay for your degree. If you find yourself short of your first-year tuition, perhaps you need to work for a year full time before starting school again. Count on working part time during the school year, and full time during breaks between semesters. Yes, homework takes time, and studying requires many hours: that is why it’s great to get your degree while you are young and have the energy and focus that may be more difficult as you take on more responsibilities later in life. Living at home and commuting to school can have a huge impact on your ability to stay out of debt. Moving out into a dorm apartment, or into a house near school with roommates may sound great, but these scenarios introduce all kinds of additional costs: groceries, utilities, rent, fast food, entertainment – these bills go up exponentially when you are away from home. No one cooks like your mother, and she would love to still have you home at dinner time. Your parents would most likely greatly encourage you to live at home so that they can enjoy your contributions to the family culture for a few more years. I know, it may sound lame, and you may wish to spread your wings already now… but your older self will thank you for your decision to study from home! Stay north young (wo)man! While researching this article, I was surprised at how low annual tuition is in Canada compared to the average costs in the USA. A full-time student at Simon Fraser University in Burnaby, BC may pay less than $7,000 CDN for one year; while the equivalent cost at Western Washington University in Bellingham is nearer to $14,000 USD! Costs at private colleges may be considerably higher, but again the rates at Canadian schools can be far more reasonable than those at American institutions. Consider that tuition at Redeemer University in Ancaster is currently less than $10,000 CDN (thanks in part to some generous donors!), while Calvin University in Michigan begins at nearly $40,000 USD annually! (It is very common for Christian university students to get discounts and scholarships relatively easily, but these numbers do provide a helpful baseline.) Since most readers of Reformed Perspective live in Canada, I can unequivocally advise, “stay north to study – your wallet will thank you!” Are you mature enough? University can be exciting and enjoyable when you find the right course of study, but are you ready? It’s possible that you are not yet spiritually mature enough to take on the intellectual challenges of what is often a hostile environment for Christians. Professors and teaching assistants at most colleges and universities are no longer sympathetic to a Christian worldview. When you assert that there are two genders, that life begins at conception, or that you believe homosexuality is against God’s created order, teaching staff and students will let you know you have fallen far outside of the mainstream of opinion. Perhaps even more dangerous, you may begin to feel “old fashioned” or “out of touch” – does the Bible really say that? Christian post-secondary schools are not necessarily havens of safety either. Just consider how many universities were founded as Christian and aren’t now – Harvard, Yale, Oxford, and the University of Toronto to name just a few. So, drift is common, and the lecturer at the front of your class may call himself a Christian, but his view of what the Bible teaches may be vastly different from how you have been taught, and what you know to be true. I don’t mean to infer that every teacher at a Christian college is dangerous – not at all! But you must be thoroughly grounded yourself in the truths of God’s Word so that you can weigh others’ theories in the light of Scripture. How do you know if you’re ready? Ask people whose opinion you trust for their thoughts. Your grandmother, your uncle, your elder, your parents – those folks who know you well will be able to offer good insight on your readiness to make your way in the post-secondary world. Ask them to be honest, and don’t be offended if they give different counsel than you expect! Stay grounded If you haven’t yet publicly professed your faith, continue pre-confession classes while you are at college. Yes, it may fill up one more evening in your busy week, but the Lord gives us the great gift of ministers and elders who are qualified to teach the church’s confessions to young people, and who enjoy the task. So take their instruction seriously – they may be providing the very answers you’ll need when you are challenged in university. If you have professed your faith, stay diligent in your Bible study opportunities with brothers and sisters in your congregation. Take the opportunity to ask questions about anything you’ve encountered at school: you may be surprised at the wisdom of a farmer or framer, or the insight of a housewife or teacher. Chances are very good that what you are wondering about has been faced by the saints before! Closing thoughts University is not for everyone. There is nothing shameful in deciding that you don’t want a degree, and would rather get a two-year college diploma, or a certification in the trades! But if you do decide to enroll at a university, I pray that this short article can give you some guidance in how to plan your years of study. The Lord has given many different gifts to His children: work diligently with what you have, and be wise in how you use the talents He has entrusted to you....





Husband brings laughing bride into the house
Red heart icon with + sign.
Marriage

To the newly married...

Husbands, turn off the TV and exult in you wife! ****  There is a fascinating verse in Deuteronomy. It isn’t marriage advice; it is a marriage command. When a man hath taken a new wife, he shall not go out to war, neither shall he be charged with any business: but he shall be free at home one year, and shall cheer up his wife which he hath taken.1 (Deut. 24:5 KJV) The command is for a newly married husband to refrain from anything that takes him away from his home for a year. And the purpose of this command is so that he can “cheer up” his wife. That’s an unfortunate translation. It means something in English that it doesn’t mean in Hebrew. In Hebrew the basic meaning of the word is to rejoice, to exult. In the form that the word is in, it means to cause that state in someone. In other words, the husband is to “make his wife rejoice.” What makes her tick? This is where it gets endlessly wonderful. Women are fascinating creatures; each one created just a little different. They are almost like a puzzle to be solved. God created men and women in such a way that you can’t really learn about your spouse through a how-to book or even a class. Of course, everyone wants a shortcut, especially since we now live in a cursed world. But God didn’t change his creation because we became short-sighted, self-absorbed narcissists. The rule still applies. If you want a blessed and beneficial marriage, learn how to make your wife exult. What makes her tick? What does she fear? What does she dream of? Do you know? Peter wrote that we are to live with our wives with understanding (1 Peter 3:7), which is also what Moses is saying. Learn about your wife. Understand her. Think of it: God made marriage in such a way that you can only truly be blessed and happy if you learn to get to know someone other that yourself, and there are no shortcuts. You actually have to take the time to do it. It isn’t hard work But, contrary to millions of self-appointed marriage gurus, it isn’t “hard work,” any more than sanctification is hard work. Rather, it is growth, joy, love, pressing toward the mark with uplifted head. We aren’t slaves drudging through mines, but children on our way to glory! What better way to picture this great truth than the marriage of two lovers, learning to exult in one another. Oscar Wilde wrote, “Women aren’t meant to be understood; they are meant to be loved.” But this is the raving of a narcissist who thinks very highly of himself. Guys, do away with the jokes about not understanding women. You are commanded to do just that. But to do that you have to put off your own self-absorption, and figure out how to listen. Listen with your ears, with your eyes, even with your finger-tips. She’ll let you know what causes her to exult, but you have to tune in. The Bible says that you have a year. I always counsel newly-weds to turn the TV off and hole up together as much as possible for the first year. Don’t try to learn about your wife from stereotypes, books (especially of the “women’s place is in the home” variety) or locker room gossip. This is your wife you are learning about and she is the only one who can show you what causes her to exult. You are on a wonderful journey of discovery together. Repentance In this day, one of the most prevalent ways to destroy the mystery and delight of loving a woman is pornography. If you cannot tell the difference between the sexual assault that is pornography and a loving relationship that is marriage, then please do not get married. Instead, repent and deal with your own abuse issues before you inflict yourself upon an unsuspecting wife. Marriage won’t cure your pornography issues. Only repentance will. You cannot learn how to cause a woman to rejoice by watching pornography. God did not create either you or her that way. There is no shortcut. You must put off yourself and your own lusts and actually learn to care about another person, namely, your wife. The fascinating thing about marriage is that the learning never ends. Love and friendship and even romance blooms and grows more intense each year – once you learn how to listen. If you have been married for a while and find your love growing stagnant, it is probably because you didn’t heed God’s command. Repent and ask your wife’s forgiveness for failing to understand her. Then start your year now. Turn the TV off. Give up boys’ nights out, and learn how to cause your wife to rejoice. It may not be too late. Isn’t Hebrew fascinating? Rev. Sam Powell is a pastor in the Reformed Churches of the United States. This article was first featured on his blog www.MyOnlyComfort.com and his reprinted here with permission....