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Magazine, Past Issue

July/Aug 2025 issue

WHAT'S INSIDE: Screen-fast, sports betting, & environmental stewardship

Our 10-day screen-fast challenge that we presented in the last issue is getting traction. Marty VanDriel has a story that shares how the fast went for him and others who gave it a try.

But that was just the start. Some generous supporters have recognized how important this issue is, so they are offering up a little extra motivation for us all. They have pledged to donate $100 to two fantastic kingdom causes – Word & Deed and Reformed Perspective – for every person who commits to and completes a 10-day fast from their screens from July 21 to 30 (to a maximum of $20,000 split between both causes).

Screens aren’t evil, but as the cover illustrates so well, screens can keep us from seeing reality – from seeing God’s loving hand upholding creation, this world, and our lives. Here now is your opportunity to join with some family and friends and maybe your whole church community to put screens aside and see the rest of the world unfiltered. Check out page 19 for more details or click on the QR code above to sign up.

Since sports betting was legalized in 2021, it has taken Canada by storm. If you watch any hockey you’ve noticed a lot of betting ads, and they bring with them a growing temptation for Christians to make some money while enjoying their favurite teams. But as Jeff Dykstra explains, we have good reason to steer clear of sports gambling.

In this issue we also do a deep dive into the topic of environmental stewardship by sitting down with two Christian women who work for an environmental group in the middle of a logging community in northern BC.

If you are an adult who tends to skip over the Come & Explore kids’ section, we encourage you to give this one a read. It will be sure to make you smile.

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or click here to download the PDF (8 mb)

INDEX: Are you still able: A nation-wide challenge to experience life without screens / Creation stewards in a logging town / Who do you want to be? RP's 10-day screen-fast challenge / We took the no screens challenge... and now we're changing our habits / What can I do anyways? 35 screen-alternative ideas / Is TikTok the ultimate contraception? / How to stay sane in an overstimulated age / Defeated by distraction / How to use AI like a Christian boss / Who speeches were they? On AI, and others, writing for us / The Way / Who is Mark Carney? / What if we said what we mean? - the political party edition / Am I lazy or just relaxing? What does Proverbs say? / Get out of the game: Christians need to steer clear of sports gambling / Man up: ARPA leaderboards and the call to courageous action / Christians don't pray / Our forever home / Calvin as a comic / The best comics for kids / Fun is something you make: 11 times for family road trips / Come and Explore: Mr. Morose goes to the doctor / Rachel VanEgmond is exploring God's General Revelation / 642 Canadian babies were born alive and left to die / 90 pro-life MPs elected to parliament / Ontario shows why euthanasia "safeguards" can't work / RP's coming to a church near you



News

Canada’s population almost shrinking

The latest population estimation from Statistics Canada is revealing a startling change: Ontario, Quebec, and BC all saw population declines in the first quarter of 2025.

The country as a whole grew by only 20,107 people, which, as a percentage, amounted to a 0.0% increase, the second-slowest growth rate in Canada since records began in 1946. The record prior was the third quarter of 2020, when border restrictions from the Covid-19 pandemic prevented immigration. The decrease has been attributed to announcements by the federal government in 2024 to decrease temporary and permanent immigration levels, with targets of 436,000 for this year, which is still well above the 250,000 level prior to the Liberal government taking office in 2015.

So, in the first quarter of 2025 we lost 17,410 people via emigration to other countries, and there was also a drop of 61,111 in non-permanent residents – people on temporary work or student visas, along with their families. The data also shows that there were 5,628 more deaths than births in the first quarter, largely due to Canada’s quickly declining fertility rate. That’s a collective loss of population of 84,140 people.

Then, going in the other direction, we had 104,256 people immigrate to Canada, for that small net increase of 20,107.

While it is a blessing that people from other countries are still willing and able to move to Canada, it is sobering to note that two-thirds of the world’s populations are now below replacement rate and the world’s population is projected to start declining later this century.

God’s first command to humanity was to “be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it” (Genesis 1:28). Imagine what the world could look like in a few generations if Christians fulfilled this cultural mandate with enthusiasm while the rest of the world continued on its course.


Today's Devotional

July 5 - Fellowship in action

“He who says he abides in Him ought himself also to walk just as He walked.” - 1 John 2:6 

Scripture reading: 1 John 2:3-6; John 14:19-24

When the Bible speaks about knowledge, there is a difference between knowing something in theory and actually knowing something intimately.  The key difference between the two is that something known intimately will actually change the way a >

Today's Manna Podcast

Manna Podcast banner: Manna Daily Scripture Meditations and open Bible with jar logo

The Law of God

Serving #894 of Manna, prepared by B. Tiggelaar, is called "The Law of God" and is based on Matthew 5:17-26; 38-48.











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Parenting

Raising a family to hunt

What hunting can teach a family about life, death, and keeping things in their proper place ***** I put my vehicle into four-wheel drive before attempting to climb the driveway to the home of Rick and Chelsey Ewald, perched on the side of Tyee Mountain, just outside of Smithers, BC. Their property is steep and treed, but they carved out a large enough area to build a home and establish a hobby farm. They’re raising a small herd of goats with a new batch of kids set to be born any day. With their own kids tucked in bed, the Ewalds seated me in their living room. A large shelf of flower seedlings was growing under lights next to the window, a clue to me that the plant’s owners were eagerly anticipating spring. Looking up to the vaulted ceiling, my eyes were drawn to a mounted Canadian lynx that seemed almost alive, as well as a set of moose antlers and a remarkable mountain goat mount. Since moving back to this part of the province over ten years ago, I have been struck by how many homes display antlers and animal mounts of all kinds, a reminder of the important role that hunting has played here for generations. Hunting was the reason I met with the Ewalds that evening. I knew that it was important to both Rick and Chelsey and I wanted to understand why they valued it and why they wanted to instill a similar love in their children. But the interest wasn’t just for myself. I’m aware that most Christians growing up in Canada today live in urban or suburban areas and associate guns and weapons with trouble, something to keep a healthy distance away from. In an age where we can get plenty of food at Costco or Superstore, isn’t it time that we moved beyond those old redneck ways? Living back in the north and raising my own family here, I have seen many examples of individuals and families that I greatly respect who are hunters. I have also noticed that hunting has been making a comeback in popularity, even in the cities, thanks in part to YouTube channels like MeatEater, and an increased yearning to go back to the basics. Similar to my story about living in a tiny home, my hope with this story (and hopefully more to come), is that the body of Christ seeks to understand why others choose to live as they are, even if it looks quite different than what we are used to. From an early age Although Rick hunted most of his life and even worked as a professional hunting guide for nine years, the couple agrees that Chelsey is the most committed hunter of the two. This started already as a little girl. “We grew up on moose meat. That was our staple,” shared Chelsey. “The importance of dad going out and hunting and getting a moose was huge for our family.” Chelsey said she was given many opportunities to hunt as a girl and would always jump on it. She met a lot of other hunters through her dad and her brothers. She was given a coonhound by one of these friends and invited to join them when they hunted bears and wild cats. “That’s my lynx up there,” she pointed to the beautiful cat that I noticed when I first sat down. “I cherish adventures. That’s a part of who I am. And I think that plays into it. Those are such strong memories from our childhood, that were so positive and so exciting,” she explained. “It could easily take over my life if I let it.” It was a similar story for Rick. “I started pretty much as soon as I could walk,” he shared. He and his siblings would hop in the vehicle with their dad, or go for long walks in the wilderness, on the lookout for wild game. “Starting out, we would just watch my dad and he'd be the one who would shoot the grouse. And then we got to help clean them and then eat them.” Grouse are wild birds that are a little smaller than a chicken, and tend to be the easiest animal to hunt. It is common for boys in the area to grow up with a pellet gun (a type of air rifle that doesn’t require a licence to buy or use) to hunt rabbits and grouse. Training required In BC, you have to be ten years old to hunt legally, and be accompanied by an adult. Around that age Chelsey learned how to shoot for sport. Since their family lived in town, her dad Willie Hofsink and his friend Joe Hamelink would take a bunch of kids into the bush where they would set up targets and practice for hunting season. The adults would shoot their big guns, and set up some pop cans for the kids to practice on with theirs. In addition to being old enough, in BC you also need to pass a Conservation and Outdoor Recreation Education (CORE) course, which involves rigorous study about the animals, outdoor ethics, government regulations, and the safe handling of a wide variety of firearms and ammunition. This requires an experienced teacher and usually takes a couple of weekends, followed by both a written and a practical test. Chelsey’s dad organized a CORE course for her and a bunch of other youth while they were still in elementary school, so that they wouldn’t have to take it on Sundays. I took the same course and look back on the experience with very fond memories. Although I never really became a hunter myself (besides taking my kids out to look for grouse), I believe that everyone would benefit from the education. It further instilled a deep respect for God’s creation and taught me the safe handling of a firearm, something that I would not have received training in otherwise. To be able to purchase a gun or ammunition in BC, you also need a Possession and Authorization Licence (PAL), which is similar to the CORE course but involves more hands-on training with the firearms. Each province has different requirements for obtaining a permit to hunt and use a firearm. Getting the right licences is just the start. To then hunt animals requires getting a permit for most species (called a tag). Depending on the animal, that can either be purchased for a nominal fee, or requires entry in a lottery system, to manage the number that are harvested. And even when a tag is obtained, there are a host of requirements that a hunter needs to be aware of relating to the sex, age, location, and quantity of the animal. “You have to have the wisdom and the knowledge,” explained Chelsey. “And then there’s a lifetime of experience that you have to grow into,” added Rick. That is why it is so important to find a mentor or “hunting buddy,” which can be the most challenging and rewarding part of becoming a successful hunter. Providing sustenance, fresh air, and life education Talking with Rick and Chelsey, I was reminded that there are many different reasons why someone would want to hunt, and this also leads to different choices about what kind of animal to hunt. For their family, a primary motivation is simply to feed their family. “Generally the animals that we hunt are the animals that we eat,” said Chelsey. “One moose for our family will last us for a full year” and results in a freezer full of meat. “It’s probably 80% of our yearly eating and usually five out of seven meals.” This includes moose, bear, mountain goat, and grouse, which “is basically like our chicken.” They recognize that this doesn’t save them money. Between the costs of hunting and the time it requires, they figure they probably come out even with those who buy all their meat from a store. A deeper motivation is to get their family outdoors, “enjoying creation,” explained Rick. “The different places and things we get to see, and we get to share it with our kids.” “And every time you go out it’s different,” added Chelsey. “It’s just pretty out there.” Hunting provides a reason to get their family into creation. Their children join them on the drives, taking their toy binoculars to look for animals. “The experience of going to the Babine River when the fish are spawning, and the kids seeing the grizzly bears fishing is pretty awesome,” noted Rick. Rick was away when Chelsey shot their last moose, with all her children with her. Her youngest was just four months old at the time, and she carried him on her front in a pack. Thankfully, Chelsey’s dad was with her, so he took care of cleaning the moose. Her children Milo and Cassie helped their grandpa, each holding one of the moose’s legs while he dressed and cleaned the carcass and got ready to load it up and take it home. This made quite the impact on the children. “It’s great bonding,” she reflected. “Cassie and Milo still talk about how much fun they had with Grandpa and the moose. For us, it’s definitely multigenerational for our family and we’re praying and hoping that hunting continues for our family.” It isn’t only the adults who reminisce. Even their three-year-old son Luke points excitedly down the road to where he and Grandpa go to see the grizzly bears, often recalling the experience. “He gets so excited about this one-on-one time,” commented Chelsey. The family is intentional about taking a lot of pictures to preserve these memories, posting them on a large bulletin board that spans from their floor to their ceiling. They see their outings as adventures rather than just a hunting trip. Their motivations for hunting go beyond their own family. Rick gave the example of wolf hunting. “Most hunters are pro shooting wolves because wolves have a high kill rate for moose,” he explained. There have been more and more wolves, and they don’t have any animals that prey on them. “So it's on us, if we want to help keep a balance, you do have to target the predators as well.” For Rick, Chelsey, and many others, hunting wolves is considered a wildlife management strategy. “There’s whole branches of the government that are supposed to be doing that job,” Rick explained. “And so then we try to work with that.” Wildlife management also dictates the numbers that hunters are allowed to harvest. The government then surveys hunters to see how many animals they actually harvested. Understanding life and death I asked Rick and Chelsey how they would respond to a reader who lives in a city like Toronto and finds the idea of owning a gun and killing an animal hard to understand or even repulsive. “For us it is a lifestyle choice,” acknowledged Chelsey. “You don’t have to hunt.” But she proceeded to explain why she believes it is okay for people to hunt, going back to creation and how God made humanity different from the animals. “And we were given the task to manage and use,” added Rick. When God was blessing Noah after the flood, He specifically gave the animals to mankind as their food (Gen. 9:2,3). Chelsey clarified that a biblical ethic also means that they are going to be careful not to wound an animal if at all possible. “It is part of doing a job well,” added Rick. “Guns are a tool we use. And we have to take responsibility for storing them well and using them well,” noted Rick. “You follow the rules and keep them locked up where they need to be locked up. And as well we teach our kids responsibility when they are around them.” I didn’t expect the conversation to then take a turn into something much deeper. “There are consequences,” explained Chelsey. “ understand death already…They know what life was and they know what death is from hunting.” This is something the children also learned from helping out on their hobby farm. “Their life is immersed in life and death and the full understanding of it. And I find that to be huge on our kids just to understand that it’s not something to take lightly. And it does hurt when things don’t go well.” Chelsey shared that the first time their daughter Cassie saw a shot grouse, she cradled it and was walking around with it and wouldn’t let it go. “You’re allowed to,” she told Cassie. “But we are going to eat that. But if you feel the need to snuggle it for a little while, you’re allowed to do that.” “That is a blessing of living in the country, on a farm and hunting,” added Rick. “The idea of life and death is a lot more real. In some ways, if you live in a city, there’s a lot of protective shields.” In contrast, “whether you’re hunting or just living in the country, you’re a lot more on your own. And you have to understand things a little bit more. There are less protected areas. And I think that is a blessing in some ways, but it is also in some ways more dangerous.” Buying a box of frozen hamburgers or getting an order of chicken wings doesn’t evoke the same visceral reaction in the minds of most readers as the idea of killing an animal in the wild, even though the animals are killed for our consumption in both instances. The difference is simply that a few layers of separation exist between the person buying the meat from a supermarket. To take this a step further, although it is easy for people to speak about being “environmentally conscious,” and to look down on hunters and those working in the forest industry, my experience from living in a rural community is that the hunters and forestry workers are some of the most environmentally conscious and caring people I know because there aren’t so many “protective shields” between them and nature. Eating a chicken burger and living in a wood-framed home requires that someone else is harvesting the animals and wood on your behalf. Putting hunting in its proper place As much as they care about the activity, the Ewalds have learned that for it to be a blessing, it needs to stay in its proper place, with firm boundaries to protect aspects of life that matter more. Rick learned this lesson after serving as a hunting guide for nine years. “A big part of the reason why I quit guiding was that I didn’t have a good purpose in my life…It was all about hunting, and that was it.” This came to a head when he got married to Chelsey, as he didn’t appreciate the competition between hunting and his marriage and family. He also came to see that it was even competing with his faith, as he was working seven days a week through the hunting season. Rick acknowledged that it wasn’t a healthy way to live, and he now sees that it is an issue that others struggle with too. He brought up the example of some avid fishers who fished so much that they got to the point where they had to quit it altogether. “If they would have figured out a way of regulating themselves properly, they would have enjoyed it way more and would have been able to continue.” Chelsey added that they have seen examples where some men push aside their family life during hunting season, making hunting their identity during that time. “And that’s something that neither of us want to happen.” They hold each other accountable and keep the focus on their children and family. “Taking our faith life seriously requires a certain amount of boundaries,” she added, pointing specifically to their firm rule to not hunt on Sundays. “God will provide for us one way or another, whether we get that animal or not. Trust really comes into play.” Rick proceeded to point out a very large sign on their wall with the verse from Joshua 24:15 “As for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.” “We use that as a reflection on ourselves to guide what we are going to do,” emphasized Rick. Chelsey explained that is why they made it so big and bold. “It has become a staple in our house…and really helped to focus us, especially in times where we seem to struggle.” The hunting guides knew that they too needed to be guided....









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Parenting

"When you coming home, dad?"

Cat’s in the Cradle was once described by the artist’s brother as the song that “…put more fathers ill at ease than any other song in history.” Harry Chapin topped the charts with it in 1974, but it still gets playtime today, getting covered by artists like Johnny Cash, Guns and Roses, Celtic Thunder (see below), and Ugly Kid Joe. There's even a collaborative version with rapper DMC and Canadian singer Sarah MacLachlan. Chapin’s wife Sandra, who wrote the lyrics, said they were based on the relationship her first husband, James Cashmore, had with his father. But Harry said the song made him think of his relationship with his own son, Josh, and said it even put him ill at ease: “Frankly, this song scares me to death.” And no wonder. This cautionary tale is about a father who is surprised at just how fast his son grew up. The song begins with this businessman sharing he has “planes to catch and bills to pay” and meanwhile his boy “learned to walk while I was away.” But his son, as sons do, still admired his dad, and so each verse of the song ends with the boy making a promise: He’d say ‘I’m gonna be like you dad You know I’m gonna be like you’ The years go by and soon the boy is ten. He wants to play catch but dad still has “a lot to do.” His son doesn’t complain – he goes off to play on his own, still promising to grow up just like his dad. It’s some years when the song, and this promise, takes a haunting turn. The father has “long since retired” and when he calls up his son to ask if his dear old dad can come by for a visit, he finds out his son just doesn’t have time for him right now. Chapin finishes the song singing: And as I hung up the phone it occurred to me He’d grown up just like me My boy was just like me It isn't hard to see how this cautionary tale could be relevant to our churches, with our many hard working dads, busy during the day, and then heading out to the many school and church meetings at night. These obligations are important, but we must never forget our more immediate priority – the needs of our wife and our children. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aMbgfyZTdDA...

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Parenting

"Daddy issues"

“I’m busy.” “I am too tired…” “Not now.” “Tomorrow.” “Maybe another time.” “Leave me alone.” “Your mom and I are talking…” “I have to work late…” These are typical answers that we dad’s are famous for using when their children ask them to spend some time with them. Read me a book dad. “I’m busy.” Play with me dad. “I am too tired…” Teach me to ride a bike dad… “Not now.” Play a game with me dad.  “Tomorrow.” Push me on the swing dad. “Maybe another time.” Can I tell you about school dad? “Leave me alone.” Can you help me with my homework? “Go ask your mom.” I am excited for our date on Friday dad. “I have to work late.” I get it, trust me. I do it too. Sometimes I just want to crash on the couch and tell my girls to get out of the room. But do you know what your child hears when you never say “OK?” When you rarely show affection? When you rarely give them the time of day? “You are not worth my time.” “You are bothering me.” “You are a pest.” I… Don’t… Love… YOU. If Daddy is always doing something and if he can’t ever be interrupted, that sends a very clear message to the child. Perhaps we do not mean it…but whether daddy means it or not, the child will perceive it as, “I don’t have time for you, I don’t love you.” When we are always out of town on business, or always working late, or so tired when we get home that we are unable to partake in the lives our children…what kind of message do you think that sends? Mom can say, “Daddy loves you very much,” as much as she wants, and she should…but the kids will only believe her for so long. Our kids need us for more than to simply make money, fix things, and engage in our own pursuit of leisure. The Bible tells us not to provoke our children in a number of ways. In Ephesians 6:1-4 the Apostle Paul tells us: "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." When we ignore our children we provoke them. A child who desires affection and attention from dad but only gets belittled by dad, or gets dad’s “leftovers” or his “I am too tired’s” or nothing at all… that child will eventually seek that attention elsewhere. Perhaps they will act out as teens, perhaps they won’t. But I am not going to take the chance of my girls having “Daddy Issues” when they become young women. Guys, the criteria for elders and deacons is not just for the elders and deacons; it is for all of us. One of the criterion for elders and deacons is that he must manage his own household well – this is not just about making money and disciplining your kids when they misbehave. It is not just about making sure everyone gets up on time for church on Sunday morning. It is not about making sure everyone is quiet during the worship service. It is not about making a show of how well behaved your kids are to the rest of the congregation. On top of providing financially and spiritually, what it means is that you take care to lovingly discipline, show affection, to engage your wife and your kids at their level, be there for them no matter what. We’ll always have times where we just don’t want to engage them. When we are burnt out. There will be times when work is busy, when work takes us out of town, but when we are home, we should be home…not on our iPhones, or fixing things in our garages, or ignoring our kids. I love my kids, I assume you love yours as well. There is an old cliche that says, “Actions speak louder than words.” I want my kids to know that I love them, so I have to show them. Ryan Smith blogs at OneChristianDad.com where this post first appeared....

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Parenting

Five things I wish I had known... about being a father

As I have met many fathers around the country at conferences and homeschool conventions, I am often reminded of my own time as a father with three children in the 1970s, 80s and early 90s. Charles Dickens used a phrase to describe the time of the French Revolution that in many ways describes my experience as a parent – it was the “best of times and the worst of times.” Nothing in my life has given me as much fulfillment and joy as being a father to my children. I can also now see that nothing has been as difficult, even though at the time I was blissfully oblivious to most of my weaknesses and shortcomings. Only as my children have become adults have many of my own failures surfaced. What follows are five of those “blind spots” to which I was completely unaware as a young father and that have come to light only in the past few years. 1) I did not see that loving my children is different from worshiping them We are all in some way unconscious idolaters in our hearts. For some of us, our prevalent idol is our job, money, success, personal recognition, fame, leisure time, entertainment, sports, sex, intellectual attainment or even religious achievement or Christian ministry. These are all perfectly innocent pursuits in themselves until they come to occupy the central place in our hearts around which all else revolves – the place reserved for God alone. I did not recognize it at the time, and I would have vehemently denied it if you had suggested it to me, but my children became my predominant idol of choice, though there were others always waiting in the wings, vying for my attention. I taught in their Christian high school and coached their basketball teams, coached all their little league teams and was always eyeball deep in all they did. Only from the distance of more than a decade have I realized that much of the recognition, success and achievement that my involvement in their lives encouraged was for me as much as for them, because their success made me look like a successful father. “My, what well-behaved, smart, successful children Robert and Jill have. They must be wonderful parents.” All of our idolatry is really in some way the exaltation of ourselves. I have discovered that my children had indeed, very subtly, become idols in my life. I was too busy congratulating myself for the wonderful parenting job I was doing for that thought ever to enter my mind! 2) I did not know that the goal of parenting was not to be the perfect parent or even the best parent I could possibly be, but to be a parent who is a repentant sinner I did not know that the way to a real relationship with my children was to walk in the light with them, not by living in darkness, convincing myself that while I was not the perfect parent, I was at least in the top echelon. Oh, there were occasional flashes of lightning that illuminated the fact that I was nowhere close to a perfect parent, but after a brief time of uneasiness, I was always able to return to my comfortable darkness. 1 John 1:7 encourages us to “walk in the light,” and “walk” implies a way of life. I didn’t understand that an open, daily recognition of weakness and dependency on the Lord and not my superior parenting skills was the way to true relationship with my children. 1 John 1:7 says that “fellowship (genuine relationship) one with another” is the result. When my sons were early teenagers, both came to me on separate occasions for help in resisting the pornography that a neighbor boy had shown them. I counseled them on the dangers of pornography, how addictive it is and how destructive it can be to their future relationship with their wives. I then prayed with them that God would give them the power to resist. I was being the perfect father, standing for righteousness, but not being a transparent, repentant one. I didn’t understand that parenting by the gospel meant walking in the light with them, confessing to them my own struggles with pornography over the years, and then praying for us both that in our weakness God would be our power. I missed a golden opportunity to strengthen my relationship with my sons. 3) I did not know that I shouldn’t compare my children with other children, either positively or negatively In 2 Corinthians 10:12, Paul says it is foolishness to compare ourselves with others. The only standard for comparison is the law of God, whereby we are all judged as sinners, including our children. My modus operandi was to proudly compare my children to others around me and to invariably find them far superior. As a result, I unconsciously ignored besetting sins in their lives for which they needed their father to help them face; not only the obvious sins of the flesh, but pride, self righteousness, the fear of man, etc. However, I was unable or unwilling to see them clearly and therefore unable to help them to see themselves because of my pride in their performance compared to others. On the other hand, some parents are dissatisfied with their children for what they see as always falling short of the performance of other children. If we are dissatisfied with our children, be assured that it will be communicated to them, no matter how hard we try not to do so. The result will be defeat and discouragement because they will feel they can never measure up enough to please us. Parenting by the gospel rather than the law involves an evaluation of a child’s gifts and abilities so that unrealistic expectations are not imposed upon him or her.  Gospel parenting is practically applied as the parent models for his child how to handle besetting sins (laziness, making excuses, irresponsibility, taking offense, etc.) by the parent facing those sins squarely and openly in his own life and then repenting! Without this step, “What you do speaks so loudly I cannot hear what you say” will be the order of the day. All children have a powerful “hypocrite-detector” that improves exponentially in effectiveness as they grow older. Comparing our children with others is foolish because it leads to self-righteousness when children are judged as superior, or discouragement and even rebellion when parents feel their children never seem to reach their standard of achievement. How we approach our children, by law or gospel, reflects how we see our relationship with God. Since I am most generally an “older brother” from the parable of the prodigal son, my tendency is to see myself, and therefore my children, as superior. A “younger brother” will see himself and therefore his children as failures, never quite measuring up. But we are all sinners, loved by God with a love that is not in any way affected by our sin. It is seeing God’s love for us as fathers that will allow us to love our children in the same way and free us from comparing them with others. 4) I did not know that I was creating a default mode in the hearts of my children that would either help them to think the best of others or foster judgment and criticism When my oldest son was in college, he was the head-resident on his floor in his dorm, charged with the very loose responsibility of keeping order on the floor. On a visit to campus, I asked him about the other boys on the floor, which included a good number of rather rowdy football players. “Oh Dad, they are just a bunch of meat-heads.” His attitude of scorn and judgment struck me like a thunderbolt and I heard the Lord say to me, “He got that critical attitude straight from you!” I am sorry to say that much of the heritage I have left with my children that they now carry with them is judgment and criticism. I have an opinion about what everyone ought to do, even when I have no responsibility in their lives, and I do not hesitate to make that opinion known. How much better to love them with a love that covers all things and does not expose sin but believes and hopes for the best in them (1 Corinthians 13). Too bad that is not my spontaneous reaction! My default mode is to be critical and judgmental. As they were growing up my children constantly heard me be critical of others and the decisions they made, the lifestyle they chose to live and the friends they kept. It is not my job to even have an opinion about what others do if I have no God-given authority in their lives. They answer to their own master and not to me (Romans 14:4). I was sharing my besetting sin of critically judging everyone I see with a friend. His reaction was, “Oh, we all do that.” My response to him was, “So, what’s your point? Do the sins of others excuse me to sin? Does ‘everyone does it’ give me a free pass?” As we Andrews are recognizing this sin, acknowledging it and repenting, the Lord is graciously beginning to reset our default mode, even as adults. This is the only possible way for me to “Be holy, even as I am holy”—not by trying harder but by facing my sin, acknowledging it, repenting and trusting the Spirit within to change my critical heart. I know it will be a life-long process. Have you ever recognized a besetting sin of yours reproduced in your children? What was it? 5) I did not know that there are times to be a sympathetic listener and not an answer man who can “fix the problem” James 1:19 says to be “swift to hear and slow to speak.” Legions are those to whom I have done just the opposite. I have had correct biblical answers to questions they really weren’t asking me, though I was convinced they should be. More often than not, they already knew the answer—they just needed me to listen, understand and then encourage them to trust the Lord for the power to do what they already knew to do. There is nothing less attractive than an answer man who is always the teacher and never the learner himself. Just recently I fell into the trap again of giving a close friend the right answer for what he should do about a vicious personal attack by a member of his extended family, someone with whom he had grown up and who supposedly loved him. His confidence as a man was shaken. He did not need to hear initially what he should “do,” but that I loved him, as did God, Who also believed in him, was pleased with him and had him right on schedule in his spiritual growth. There would be plenty of time later to let God show him a course of action. Interestingly enough, this family crisis is bringing my friend’s immediate family together; what the enemy meant for evil, God intended for good. This has been my pattern over the years with my wife and children as well. Their struggles have more often than not elicited an answer as to what they should do rather than addressing the insecurity that comes from wondering whether or not their problem-solving father really cares about them as people. As the one who represents God in my family, my attitude is to be a reflection of His, and His primary concern is His relationship with me, not what I do, what I say or the theology I believe. If I understand His great love for me in spite of what I do, what I do will naturally and unconsciously change. Conclusion Seeing these five failures in my parenting that we have discussed over the past few weeks has surprisingly been a source of encouragement to me and a means of strengthening the relationship between my wife and me and our grown children. Grandfathers and grandmothers are still little children in God’s classroom of learning to face their sin, repent and walk by faith! Does it make sense to you that openly facing failure as a parent can strengthen family relationships and be a source of genuine encouragement to all family members? Robert Andrews has been a college campus evangelist, high school chemistry teacher and basketball coach, church teaching elder, church planter, national conference speaker and certified business coach and is a husband to one, a father to three and a grandfather to ten. His website, where this article was first published, is www.gospelparenting.com....