Sex Matters is a book intended for Christians – McKee provides answers from the Bible and explains the Bible’s message using research and real life examples. Jonathan McKee wants to make it easier for parents to talk to their kids about sex, and to that end he’s written a book for parents to give to their teens, which addresses the two common questions, “Why wait?” & “How far?”
Why wait? McKee takes over 20 informative pages to explain the statement, “God has given the gift of sex to enjoy in marriage.” And in addition to making the biblical case, he shares how research shows that this command is in alignment with how human beings function.
HOW FAR CAN I GO?
How far can people go, and when should they stop? McKee’s answer rests on the rather obvious observation that once the process is started it is designed to be continued.
That is why it is so difficult to stop, a fact that has been known for millennia. So his advice? Don’t start the process; don’t do anything you would not do in front of your grandmother.
WHAT DOES FLEEING SIN LOOK LIKE?
Sex outside marriage is a huge temptation, especially in our media-saturated culture, and it is the one temptation the Bible repeatedly tells us to flee. McKee explains clearly what fleeing temptation means for girls and how it is different for guys.
Christians need to understand the truth, recognize natural consequences, and establish safeguards, and parents need to help their teens do these things as well as to encourage them to take responsibility themselves.
McKee also covers the dangers of porn, questions about masturbation, and the effects of abuse. Over and over he turns to the gospel, reminding young people that Jesus offers a fresh start for everyone, whether you have sinned or been sinned against.
He also encourages young people to remain pure by pointing out that a few years of self-discipline can be traded for a lifetime of awesome connecting without baggage after marriage. Who in their right mind would choose anything else? But the trouble is that we are sinners and that disobedience seems so attractive.
Finally, McKee offers some practical suggestions:
- Marry earlier.
- Be careful what you listen to and watch, what you wear, who you are alone with, and where you go.
- Beware of the dangers of the Internet and install safety systems.
I will add one caution. Sex Matters is a book for teens exposed to our culture and, as such, it can be explicit. When parents wonder if the book itself could cause more problems than it solves, McKee’s response would be that our culture is explicit, and that equipping our teens requires us to be forthright.
So do pre-read this before giving it to your teen to see if it meets your expectations.
McKee’s Sex Matters is a valuable book (especially in conjunction with More than Just the Talk, which he’s written for parents). It is unabashedly Biblical – so much so that our huge public library refused to buy it – but it deserves a place in home, church, and school libraries and would be a blessing to any community that has it in its public library.
What’s more, it is short (only 122 pages), easy to read, and contains discussion questions at the end of each chapter. I highly recommend it.
This is adapted from a review on Tea Time with Annie Kate and used with permission. The original can be found here.