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Raised on Porn: The New Sex Ed

Documentary
37 minutes / 2021
Rating: 8/10

This is not pleasant to watch, and for parents, it might be downright scary. But the story it tells is one we all need to know.

As Jean Kilbourne says in the film, “The Internet has made porn not only accessible, it’s really made it inescapable.” What that’s meant for today’s teens and preteens is that they’re turning to online pornography for their “sex ed.”

The terrifying part of this is that it isn’t just what you teach your children and when you allow them access to the Internet and smartphones, but also what kind of access their friends have, and what kind of videos those friends have been watching. Another expert, Gail Dines, explains, violent porn is now the norm.

“If you want more soft or less violent porn you’re going to have to spend a good 10 to 15 minutes looking for it. And don’t tell me that the average 12, 13-year-old boy is going to start looking for that for 10, 15 minutes. He’s going to go to that which is the most accessible [the violent sort].”

Former FBI agent Jim Clemente spells it out in more detail:

“…kids who were sexualized early actually act out on that because they don’t have the inhibitions or the knowledge of what the sexual acts are, or what they mean. …The more time they spend reinforcing that arousal pattern, especially if they are looking at violent porn, …that’s the worst possible thing they could look at, because what it will do is trip wires in their brain that make them feel really good about this stuff, and it will overwhelm reason in their brain. And they could go down this road where they find they don’t have the willpower to stop themselves from doing it, and it could surprise them how quickly that could happen.”

Raised on Porn includes interviews with men who were first caught up in porn as children, when they weren’t seeking it out, and didn’t understand where porn would take them. One went to jail, another nearly destroyed his marriage, going from porn to tracking down a prostitute.

We also hear from leading psychologists and neurologists telling us what porn does to the brain. We hear from addiction therapists who have seen the demand for their services skyrocket. As reviewer Justin Sarachik put it, “This film shatters cultural myths about the ‘harmless’ nature of pornography.”

Cautions

We don’t normally recommend films that take God’s name in vain, but make an exception here (it happens at least once) in large part because this isn’t simply light entertainment, but an important educational tool for parents.

While there is no nudity in the film, there are a few brief video clips of clothed men and women, which have been taken from violent porn videos. One clip shows a man grabbing a woman by her throat, another shows several men carrying a woman away. We’re shown these to give us an understanding of the violent nature of today’s porn, so even though nothing explicit is shown we know what’s coming next, and that is disturbing. We’re also shown, as evidence of this same violent trend, partial titles of these videos. They flash by very quickly, but this too is not for children’s eyes, and may not be helpful for some adults to see either (1 Cor. 10:12).

A different sort of caution: while I wouldn’t be surprised if the producers are Christian, what they present here is a secular argument, entirely free of any mention of God and His views on sexuality. The argument it is making is against what the culture is doing, but nowhere are we told what we should be for. In accompanying promotional materials there is a push for age verification on all pornographic sites, which Christians can certainly agree to – that might protect some children. But what of the adults being damaged by porn?

What’s missing here is a presentation of God’s intention for sex. Christians may be able to fill it in, as the facts that the neurologists shares about excitment and neural pathways aligns perfectly with Solomon’s advice to “rejoice in the wife of your youth” (Prov. 5:15-20). As we focus on our spouse, God has so made us that we can have those neural pathways align to our best beloved.

Because God is left out, what’s also missing is hope. Yes, the film features addicts who have now left porn behind, but we’re not told exactly how that happened. We can presume it involved some of the therapists featured. But what can parents do to help their children steer clear? What’s evident from the stories is that many of these men were missing an active parental presence. Christians know that parents have been charged with guiding and teaching our children, so, to start, it’s vital that your child knows they can always go to you if they get in trouble.

Parents can further educate themselves about dangers on the web at ProtectYoungMinds.org. Another helpful resource is the Christian organization CovenantEyes.com which has monitoring software for a fee, but some incredible resource for free, including a great blog and, maybe most helpful of all, free fantastic e-books you really need to check out. A specifically Reformed, though not free, resource can be found at SetFreeCourse.com. The film’s producers offer their own list of resources here.

Conclusion

With the prevalence of smartphones, it would be crazy for us to think our children will never see any of this violent pornography. The danger this poses to our boys is how it can enslave them and how the Devil can use that addiction to undermine their service to God in the future too. Girls aren’t immune to porn addiction, and also face the danger of what this pornography can make the young men in their lives expect of them. It shouldn’t be so in the Church, but sin happens here too.

So who should watch this? Parents, and after they watch it on their own, they can consider what age is too young, and whether they should watch it again with their older teens. We need to talk about this with our children, one way or another.

Watch it for free below.


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CONNECT: Real help for parenting kids in a social media world

Documentary 70 minutes / 2018 RATING: 8/10 Connect offers “real help for parenting kids in a social media world” and the host, Kirk Cameron, starts things off by scaring parents with the story of a boy who was Internet-stalked by a “grown adult man.” The dad intervened in time… but it was a close thing. I watched this with 30-or-so other parents and this opener certainly grabbed our attention. But now, what can we do to protect our kids? Cameron makes clear, it isn’t just the creeps that we need to watch out for. We need to teach our children to see through a number of lies that social media fosters, including: “I deserve to be happy all the time” and “I am the center of the universe.” Our children need to know God is the center of the universe, and instant gratification is not only not a right, but not even healthy. More important: parents need to correct their own addiction to social media, and then get actively involved in their children’s lives. We are all busy, but we cannot be, as one of the experts put it, “mentally-absent parents.” There was a fantastic discussion starter for all the parents and teens who attended our viewing. One caution: there is some topic matter – about pornography addiction and suicide – that is not appropriate for the very young. It can be rented via online streaming, or purchased via DVD here. Americans with Amazon Prime can watch it here. ...


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