Being the Church

Most Recent

Older men still have a job to do

Faithful children of God may look forward to sharing Jesus’ glory in the presence of the Father. “To live is Christ; to die is gain.” Why, then, does the Lord God not take people home to Himself as soon as they become empty nesters or, perhaps, when their spouse dies? Why does He let the older become old?

The question is important, if only because there are numerous older men in the churches who feel they have no task to do, are out to pasture. In this article we will consider Paul’s instruction concerning the “older men” as he words it to Titus 2:2:

“Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance.”

To give you the punch line right away, God keeps older men on earth because He uses them to build up His church.

Men are not women

God created two genders in the beginning, but did not make them at the same time. He first made a man, and placed him in the Garden with the command to work it and take care of it (Genesis 2:15). He was, in other words, responsible, and commissioned to take initiative in fulfilling his duties before God.

The Lord saw that it was not good for the man to be alone, and so made a “helper” (Genesis 2:18) to be with him. In the relation between the man and the woman in Paradise, he was the leader and she was not; she was the helper and he was not. So when God came to the Adam and Eve after their fall into sin, he sought out the man: “where are you?” (Genesis 3:9). Similarly, when the Lord sought to call a family from Ur to go the land of promise, He did not call Sarah to take her husband and leave her mother’s household, but He summoned Abram to take his wife and leave his father’s household (Genesis 12:1).

The point is that the man is, by God’s ordinance, the leader in family and society. As leader, the man invariably gives leadership, whether active or passive, where positive or negative. When Paul, then, tells Titus what to teach the older men, he’s instructing him in relation to that part of the human race commissioned to take responsibility and give leadership.

How we view older men

The men Titus must teach are "older." The term "older" is, of course, relative, and really depends on how old Titus is and perhaps depends too on the average age of the congregation where Titus ministered. Paul uses the same word to describe himself when he was some 60 years old (Philemon 9).

Irrespective, though, of what age one wishes to peg to the term "older," the term certainly describes a person who has been around the block a few times. The "older" have, in other words, spent years in the school of life and so are in a position to show others how to do life.

Now, our Canadian culture says that “older men” deserve the opportunity to kick back, enjoy life and play with the toys they’ve accumulated. But beneath this seemingly generous attitude is the thought that the older men are actually out of touch, can’t keep up with the fast pace of the younger, and are beyond their "use by" date, so they should be retired from any leadership roles.

There is an echo of this thought in the church, to the effect that the older men (are made to) feel passed by and even uncertain about their purpose. The result is that they retreat into their seniors’ circle... and become an untapped resource.

Their role

This was not the intent of the Lord God. He created the first man (and woman) in His image, and gave the command to “be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over...” (Genesis 1:27f). Children born in Paradise, however, would not know by instinct how to rule over God’s world in a way that imaged God; the older generation was to teach the younger how to do this. Of course, the longer Adam lived, the better He’d know what God was like, and so the better equipped he’d be to teach coming generations how to “rule over” God’s creatures in a way pleasing to God. Clearly, as the God-appointed leader, the responsibility to train those after him was primarily Adam’s.

The fall into sin obviously complicated the task enormously. But it didn’t change the expectations God had for Adam as he grew older, or for the subsequent generations of older men. So God told Moses that He poured the plagues on Egypt “that you may tell your children and grandchildren how I dealt harshly with the Egyptians... that you may know that I am the Lord” (Exodus 10:2). Moses, we need to know, was more than 80 years old (see Exodus 7:7) at the time God gave him this instruction. Talk about the role of “the older men”!

Fully in line with this command is the prayer of the psalmist: “Even when I’m old and gray, do not forsake me, O God, till I declare your power to the next generation, your might to all who are to come” (Psalm 71:18).

Because of this God-assigned role of the aged, the Lord commanded the youth of Israel to respect the seniors (and not just the grandparents). As an older man approached them, the youth were to “rise” and “show respect for the elderly” (Leviticus 19:32). Here was recognition that the older have learned so much in God’s school-of-life and were a reservoir of experience and wisdom for the younger to tap into.

Sadly, not all older men speak only wisdom. Job’s three senior friends spoke the language of fools in their reprimands to Job (cf Job 42:7; 32:6ff). Solomon advised older folk not to say, “Why were the old days better than these?” (Ecclesiastes 7:10). Young people live in the present (not the past), and in the challenges God gives today they need encouragement – and not the signal that today is too hard. Older men, in other words, need to make it their business to be careful how they analyze the present in relation to the past; their analysis requires ongoing Bible study and thought.

All this Old Testament material comes along in Paul’s instruction to Titus. For the benefit of the churches of Crete, Paul draws out the implication of the role God has assigned to the “older men.” Given that role, Paul says these older men are to be::

temperate
worthy of respect
self-controlled

1. Temperate

The term “temperate” in Titus 2:2 translates a word that appears elsewhere as “sober” or “sober-minded.” The term is often used in relation to drink and so becomes instruction in being moderate in how much you drink. Yet Paul’s point is not that older men are simply to exercise moderation in drinking. Rather, in all of life one is to be moderate, not indulgent, not extravagant, not into excess or glut. Herein the “older men” of the church would contrast with the typical attitude of the Cretans around them, who were “always... lazy gluttons” (Titus 1:12).

What, though, is wrong with excess? Why must Titus make a point of telling older men to be moderate?

Older men (should) have learned the truth of Solomon’s words in Ecclesiastes 2, when he tried all sorts of excess in his attempt to make sense of life. As many young men do, Solomon sought fulfillment in wine, houses, gardens, women, song, parties, and more. But the more he tried, the more he realized that things do not lift us out of the thorns and thistles of a life outside Paradise. His conclusion was this: “when I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind” (Ecclesiastes 2:11). That was the advantage of older age: Solomon could tell the younger of his realm that he’d been there, done that... and they should take instruction from him and not repeat his futile search.

This is the message Titus was to instruct older men to convey to the younger. Those older men had been around the block, had tested the value of more and more stuff, and so were in a position to vouch for the truth of Ecclesiastes 2. These “older men” have “fought the good fight,” “have finished the race” (2 Tim 4:7), and now await the summons of the Lord to enter the presence of their Father. So their lifestyle was to model that life is not about food, property, looks, degrees, music, chocolate, gin or women. Instead, their lifestyle should reflect the delightful fact that “the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared” (Titus 2:11); Christ has come to redeem sinners, take away the cause of our eternal hunger and misery, and through His self-emptying on the cross restored sinners to Paradise.

Since that’s so, one needs to be consistent and say “no” to ungodliness and worldly passions (2:12), “no” to more toys, more drink, more "buzz," etc, and live instead “godly and upright lives in the present age, while we wait for the... glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ” (2:13).

When a "temperate" lifestyle is in place, a man will be moderate in his demand for food and drink, for wealth and holiday. “Older men” have learned through the school of life to get their priorities right, so that their emphasis lies on service to the neighbor, a service that reflects God’s love for us in Jesus Christ.

2. Worthy of respect

Titus is also to instruct “older men” to carry themselves in a dignified manner. Again, the point is not so hard to grasp. Older men have buried parents, and perhaps also a spouse or a child. They have been through war, sickness, fire, flood, drought and more – and so learned through the hard knocks of life that life is not a joke. They’ve learned that trials come from God as so many divine teaching moments whereby the heavenly Father would train us in the school of life for further service and to be more fruitful for His glory. Older men (ought to) know this, and so take God’s reality seriously in the hard knocks of life; always the question presses on their minds: what is God teaching me through this?

No, this does not make the older boring or gloomy (as if life is not enjoyable). On the contrary, living every step of life in the awareness that you live every moment in God’s school makes life exciting and fun. Older men model this awareness – for the benefit of the rest of congregation. That’s the sort of leadership they are to give.

3. Self-controlled

Finally, Titus must tell “older men” to be disciplined. They, after all, ought to have learned how to get the passions and instincts of youth under control. As a result, they act less out of impulse, with decisions more thought through. They’ve learned to live life sensibly, seriously, and so with fitting restraint. So their lives displays good health (not necessarily in body but) “in faith, in love and in endurance…”

The same need today

This, then, is what Titus was to encourage the older men to exemplify among the Christians of Crete. But the sort of lifestyle this behavior encouraged, contrasted with the excess that Cretans typically celebrated. Recall again Paul’s summary of what Cretans were like: “Cretans are always liars, evil brutes, lazy gluttons” (Titus 1:12).

We can imagine the “lazy gluttons” of the island; we know the type: shrunken biceps and ample waistline assembled in the coffee shops and beer parlors, talking about the latest horse race, hockey game, cruise, property deal, woman. How thoroughly North American; truly, there is nothing new under the sun.

The new Christians of Crete were raised in that culture, and remained greatly influenced by what was accepted around them. How tempting, then, to adopt the same attitude; “eat, drink, and be merry...” Hence Paul’s instruction to Titus: since older men are by God’s ordinance to be leaders, instruct them to be temperate to be examples for the women and younger men to follow. This, Paul figures, is necessary to build up congregational life (1:5a).

Value

The Lord has prepared a glorious future for His (older) children, yet leaves older brothers on this earth for a purpose; they remain here to be examples for rest of congregation.

So, older men, take up the task with confidence! You’ve been through the school of life, and so know that neither things nor pleasures give fulfillment, salvation, or purpose; by faith you know that Jesus Christ has restored us to God. That being so, model the gospel for the benefit of the rest of the congregation: be moderate, dignified, self-controlled in a manner that the younger of the flock can see. This is the service to which you remain called, until such time as God Himself relieves you and gives you the crown of glory.

Conclusion

There is definitely so very much in the congregation for which we may be thankful. That includes the large number of older brothers in our midst. They are here, by God’s providence, for a reason. My conviction is that they are under-utilized.

No, I’m not thinking now of consistory work; it may be that the Lord is no longer calling the (much) older brothers to this task anymore. I’m thinking instead of how the older, without exception, have a role to play in relation to the younger. Let the older men take their mentorship role seriously, being deeply aware that God leaves them in this life in order that they might model the gospel for the benefit of the younger and even seek out the younger to speak to them of the works of the Lord as they experienced them over the years. It’s a privileged fact: the younger need your leadership, example, and instruction. Recall Psalm 92:14f

“...the righteous...will still bear fruit in old age...proclaiming, ‘The Lord is upright; He is my Rock, and there is no wickedness in Him’”

Healthy church life needs the continued involvement of the older men.

Rev. Bouwman is a minister for the Canadian Reformed Church of Smithville, Ontario. This article was first appeared in the December 2012 issue.

Being the Church

Christians don’t pray

Who says that Christians don’t pray? Of course, Christians pray, don’t they? Isn’t prayer one of the essential characteristics of Christian life...

Being the Church

God loves a cheerful giver

6 ways to restore the joy of giving ***** In one sense, the most faithful givers during the earthly ministry of Jesus Christ were the Pharisees, as ...

Being the Church

A principled (and practical) guide to tithing

Twice every Sunday the offering plate comes your way. What do you do? Do you chip in whatever you have in your wallet, do you have a cheque already wr...

Being the Church

Being thrifty and finding hope

In his “science of happiness” class at Harvard Business School, Arthur Brooks teaches that of the five things you can do with money, four could ma...

Being the Church

Wise and Innocent

“Behold, I am sending you out as sheep in the midst of wolves, so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves.” – Matt. 10:16 ***** My children have often called me gullible and naïve. As a matter of fact, the word “Mom” often had an exclamation mark behind it. Perhaps they are right, and here’s an example to prove that. **** In the 1990s I became friends with a young man who worked at the Owen Sound Public Library. He was an avid landscaper and had been designated to take care of the flower beds around the library building. He also maintained the flora inside the renovated Carnegie structure. Some of these plants stood in the rectangular windows sills of the rooms housing the books, while other plants lined the foyer. The gardener and I became acquainted after my husband, Anco, and I donated a large Norfolk pine to the library. The tree was fingering the ceiling of our living room and we were anxious to find a good home for it. Our conifer species was received with enthusiasm and placed in the spacious foyer. I have forgotten the gardener’s name at this point, but remember that when I frequented the library, very often he would corner me to let me know how the pine was doing. One day, when he was weeding outside, he called me over. “Christine,” he began, “I want to ask you a favor.” “Sure,” I answered, smiling congenially. “Well,” he went on, “I have some special flowers that need only a minimal amount of water. And I wonder …” He paused and I encouraged him by nodding. “Well, I wonder,” he continued slowly, “because I know that your husband is a veterinarian, if you would be able to get me some syringes. You see I could put water in them and squirt just a tiny amount of fluid into these plants. It would be a great help!” “Oh, sure,” I replied, immediately sympathetic to the presumed problem in his foliage kingdom, “I’ll ask my husband and get back to you.” “That would be great.” He beamed at me and I beamed back. Upon coming home, I relayed the question to one of my sons. “Mom!!” he exclaimed, “Don’t you get it! That guy’s a druggie. He’s an addict. He’s trying to get his hands on some free syringes so he can inject himself with who knows what! You are so gullible!” Later, upon hearing the request, my husband agreed with my son and, upon reflection, I came to the conclusion that they were probably right. When I met the man again, I gently let him know that I was unable to obtain the desired syringes for his plants. He shrugged and that was the end of it. **** Last week I was shopping at Zehr’s. It was late afternoon on Friday, on Valentine’s Day. Generally speaking, Friday afternoon is not the time I usually shop but there had been warnings of an impending storm and I thought it would be wise to get some groceries before the weekend. There were a lot of people in the store. I presumed that everyone wanted to get their shopping done before the storm hit and felt a common bond between myself and the other purchasers. There was a rather long wait in the line-up to pay as one of the customers had bought an item without a price tag on it. There were two gentlemen standing behind me, each with only one item in their hands. I noted them and briefly wondered why they were not going to the faster check-out, but it was only a passing thought. After finally paying my bill, I pushed the shopping cart through the mall foyer towards the entrance. My car was parked in the first row across from the store and easy to access. As I had forgotten my cloth bags in the car, I had to transfer my groceries from the cart into the bags. Opening the front door, I deposited my purse onto the console between the front seats. Then the process of transferral began as I put the groceries from the cart into the cloth bags and into the back seat. Having done that, I brought the cart back to the sidewalk by Zehr’s and moseyed on back to the car. Opening the door and easing myself into it, I shoved my purse over to the passenger seat and was about to start the motor when there was a knock at my window. Startled, I turned my head. There was a man, a rather short and squat man, beckoning with the fingers of his right hand that I should come out. He then pointed to the back wheel of the car, the wheel on the driver’s side. Immediately I assumed there was something wrong with the back wheel – something which he had noticed while passing. I straightaway opened the door and hopped out. He walked over to the back wheel, and said something which I did not understand. You see, he was wearing a cream-colored scarf which hid his mouth. He was also wearing a big black hat. Consequently, I was only able to see the top of his upper lip and his chunky nose and rather small eyes. “That man is cold,” I thought, and it surely was cold. “Pardon me,” I voiced politely, “but I didn’t hear what you said.” He repeated himself, but honestly it was Greek to me and the scarf over his mouth didn’t help his pronunciation. He squatted down, and touched the back tire with the index finger of his right hand. “Is it going flat?” I asked, squatting down next to him, “Is that what you’re trying to tell me?” “Leak,” he answered, as he lifted his finger off the tire before he reiterated, “Leak.” “Leak?” I repeated. He then put the worried index finger back down on the tire, which to my non-mechanical eyes, looked very healthy. But then what did I know? He then lifted the finger off the tire, waved it about a bit before putting it back down on the tire. “Is air coming out?” I asked. “Is it a slow leak? Will it be dangerous for me to drive, do you think?” In a far-off time, before there were cars, Augustine once said that we should be “innocent as doves that we may not harm anyone”; and “cautious as snakes that we may be careful of letting anyone harm us.” That is to say, we are not to be credulous, but we should be discerning enough to know that not all whom we encounter are who they say they are. The man continued to put his finger on the tire a few more times and then stood up. He looked at me above his scarf face. “Is OK,” he said, “Is OK.” “Are you sure? Because I have a drive of about fifteen minutes to get home.” “Yes, is OK.” I thanked him for his care in stopping because he thought something might be wrong. I told him that I thought this was very kind. Then I said goodbye, got back into the car and drove home. But all the while I was worried that perhaps the tire might have a slow flat coming in, all the while I worried about how to turn the wheel if the car would begin to swerve. Upon coming home, I told my daughter what had happened. She told me not to worry, that my son-in-law would look at it when he came in. However, as I was putting the groceries away, I noticed that my wallet (always in my purse) was missing. My daughter helped me look and look we did. After exhaustively searching everywhere, we eventually phoned Zehr’s. Zehr’s surveyed their area, spoke to the teller who had checked me out, and then informed us that they were unable to locate the wallet. “Mom,” my daughter told me, “I think you’ve been robbed.” We then proceeded to phone both my bank and the Mastercard company. The bank put a marker on my account and the Mastercard company told us there had been four attempts on my card in the last half hour and a fifth had been successful in withdrawing four hundred dollars. It is a blessing that Mastercard is the only credit card I use. However, my wallet was also home to my Social Insurance Number, my library cards, my health card, and my driver’s license. There was also more than one hundred dollars cash, postal stamps and photographs. That last item, though perhaps not much in the way of money, was important to me. Presently, I’m in the process of getting a new driver’s license, and have bought a protection called Equifax which protects a person from identity fraud. It’s all a far cry from Eden. I think about the fellow wearing the cream-colored scarf. Was he poor? Had he just lost his job, as so many have lost theirs in the last year? Did he know the Lord? What partner helped him steal my wallet out of my purse when I was hunkered down thankful that a stranger cared enough to stop and warn me about a possible leak in my tire? Were these two thieves the men who had stood behind me in the checkout line? Had they been watching me as I punched in the pin number of my Mastercard? **** Believers do not have a life free from conflict. That is a fact. Jonathan Edwards said: “Men that have their spirits heated and enraged and rising in bitter resentment when they are injured act as if they thought some strange thing had happened to them. Whereas they are very foolish in so thinking for it is no strange thing at all but only what was to be expected in a world like this. They, therefore, do not act wisely that allow their spirits to be ruffled by the injuries they suffer.” If Christians expect to be taken advantage of, they will not be depressed when it happens. We are called to bear our injuries with dignity and hope in the providence of God – even as Christ did. Jonathan Edwards went on to say: “As love to God prevails, it tends to set persons above human injuries, in this sense, that the more they love God the more they will place all their happiness in him.... The more they love God, the less they set their hearts on their worldly interests, which are all that their enemies can touch.” There is no doubt that widows, widowers and all older and retired persons, should beware. There is also no doubt that it hurts to be taken advantage of. But Jonathan Edwards’ words are encouraging and put things into perspective. The two robbers could only harm my worldly pleasures. They cannot, and never will be able to, take the inheritance that is laid up for me in heaven. With the help of the Holy Spirit, I will look to God and love and trust Him alone. And He is faithful and will help me....

Being the Church

Aged saints can tell you what your peers don’t know or won’t say

In late 1785, the 26-year-old British Member of Parliament William Wilberforce secretly met with 61-year-old John Newton. Wilberforce had very recently encountered the grace of Christ. Deeply convicted about his squandered youth and self-serving ambition, the young MP seriously considered resigning from Parliament to enter the ministry. Uneasy of mind, he visited Newton – the slave-trader-turned-clergyman – under cover of darkness. Newton encouraged Wilberforce to remain in Parliament and continue his parliamentary career as a Christian. Newton would later tell Wilberforce, “It is hoped and believed that the Lord has raised you up for the good of His Church and for the good of the nation.” Following the meeting, Wilberforce stated that “when I came away I found my mind in a calm, tranquil state, more humbled, and looking more devoutly up to God.” Two years later, Wilberforce would boldly declare that: “God Almighty has set before me two great objects, the suppression of the slave trade and the reformation of manners.” Newton’s prescient advice to his younger brother in the faith shows us what it looks like to live out the biblical mandate for older Christians to mentor younger Christians. The much older Newton had turned to Christ three decades earlier and had much more experience in the Christian life than his newly saved counterpart. In consistency with the example of Scripture, he used his hard-earned wisdom to guide a young believer in need of direction. We need Newton, not Tate Sadly, our age has undermined the mentorship role of the elderly. Popular culture idolizes youthful attractiveness and athletic achievement over the wisdom gained in old age. Worse, the world portrays the outward decay of the elderly as an imposition on those who are still enjoying the fleeting pleasures of youth. As a result, care for the elderly is kept away from the family and offshored to a professional class. This is poignantly exhibited in the rise of euthanasia, now Canada’s 4th leading cause of death. If true life consists in beauty, youth, and health, then life itself must be ended once these qualities have disappeared. However, as with all other attempts to reorder God’s creative design, the removal of the elderly from societal influence has produced dire consequences – an emerging generation whose primary influences are their own peers rather than seasoned mentors. Popular online influencers, such as Andrew Tate, have filled the mentorship gap among young men with a false and sinful masculinity. Speaking to Tate’s growing influence, John Stonestreet writes, “young men, when left to be taught by assertive online influencers eager to avoid the feminist ditch, can be driven straight into the pimp ditch. They must instead be taught through real relationships with fathers, pastors, friends, and mentors who are willing to live out all that is distinctive about God’s design for men.” This problem is not unique to young men – social media is dominated by celebrations of a false femininity that devalues the dignity of godly womanhood and instead encourages young women to pursue licentiousness. Called to speak For the Christian, however, gray hair is not the gutting sign of approaching death, but the hard-won crown of a life spent in service to God (Prov. 16:31). With Heaven as the horizon, there is deep value in a life well-lived – the lessons from which may be shared with those who are young. In this way, the Apostle Paul instructs his own younger disciple in the faith, Titus, about the relationship between older Christians and younger Christians (Titus 2:2-5): “Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness. Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.” The priority of mentorship between old Christians and young Christians is clear. Just as the eye cannot say to the foot “I have no need of you,” so also the young Christian cannot say to the old Christian “I have no need of you.” Rehoboam foolishly listened to the council of his childhood friends rather than the mature instructions of his father’s advisors. We too are susceptible to surrounding ourselves with similarly aged peers who affirm our decisions and never rebuke our errors. But godly young people require godly, aged mentors who are committed to speaking directly and truthfully. Wisdom earned in old age provides the mature Christian with the hard-earned right to speak difficult truths that may not as readily flow from the lips of a young Christian’s peers. The willing reception of this gift, however, is only one part of the equation. The gift must also be offered, which requires diligent instruction on the part of the aged and a refusal to listen to a culture which tells those in their final stage of life to hide away until death comes. Wise, aging Christians have been called to deliver godly exhortations to young believers. With such exhortations, mature believers are paving the way for a new generation of the Christian church and the never-ending proclamation of Christ’s glory. Gray hair truly is a far more noble crown than the fleeting bravado of youth. Keeping the fire flickering After nine years of laboring against the slave trade with very little success, a wearied, 36-year-old William Wilberforce wrote his old friend John Newton and questioned whether he could continue the fight. The now 71-year-old Newton replied: “It is true, that you live in the midst of difficulties and snares, and you need a double guard of watchfulness and prayer. But since you know both your need of help and where to look for it, I may say to you, as Darius to Daniel, Thy God whom Thou servest continually is able to preserve and deliver you.” Wilberforce did not quit and, on March 25, 1807 – some dozen years after Wilberforce’s disheartened letter to Newton – Parliament voted to abolish the slave trade throughout the British Empire. A society that scorns the exhortations of aging and faithful men is a society where young men such as William Wilberforce flicker out in discouragement. But, thankfully, God delights in using aging Christians to encourage young Christians in the faith. Godly old men and women must not relinquish that duty, and young men and women must not despise these lessons. In this way, aging Christian believers can fulfill their integral role in the victorious history of Christ’s Church....

Being the Church

On encouraging courage

Part of God’s equipping us to courage also involves rightly understanding what real courage is ***** Fear. We all feel it at times. We might be facing a job interview or something even more serious like a disease, or the loss of a loved one. We wonder, What’s going to happen? Even though we trust in God’s sovereignty, our weak selves cannot help but flail about at times. So what’s the answer to such fear? Courage, of course. But not simply the sort that depends on the steadiness of our own resolve. God calls us to a different sort of courage, and He equips us to it too. Part of that equipping is the communion of saints He gives us. I find it intriguing that the word “encouragement” is, well, full of courage. To encourage is, as the dictionary puts it, “to inspire with courage, spirit, or confidence: to stimulate by assistance, approval, etc.” Our words and deeds can aid others to feel courageous and tackle or re-tackle whatever situation was frightening them. We’ve all experienced it – a person comes along at the right time, and offers the right words to turn discouragement into hope. Or your support may have come from a sermon, a book, a family member, or a brother or sister in Christ. From feeling downcast (the word that Psalms uses), you began to see your way forward. We all need courage, which means we all need the encouragement of others. Specific attributes of courage Part of God’s equipping us to courage also involves rightly understanding what real courage is. We all admire the person who’ll run into a burning building or jump into a river to save someone’s life. This takes courage, for certain. As the actor John Wayne once said, “Courage is being scared to death but saddling up anyway.” That is so true. But as we look at our daily lives, we can find many less dramatic but important ways that this virtue should also be applied. Before we look at a few specific ways we may need to “saddle up,” let’s delve into a few more specific attributes of courage. In a recent presentation at my church entitled “You’re Gonna Need That Spine,” Dr. Joe Rigney gave the following in-depth definition of courage: “Courage is a habitual, sober-minded self-possession that overcomes fear through the power of a deeper desire for a greater good.” Along those lines, Rigney exhorted us to consider the following summarization of its attributes: Courage involves double vision. You not only see the danger out there that’s frightening you, at the same time you can also foresee the good that would come in overcoming your fear. For example, a child is drowning and though you are afraid of the cold water and waves, you know that your swimming ability may save the child’s life. Or perhaps you are afraid of presenting yourself poorly at a job interview, but you go because you foresee the good that will come if you are hired. Courage is a habit. You don’t just wake up one morning and have courage – to have it, you need to cultivate and grow into it. This will involve facing difficult situations repeatedly, and successfully overcoming them. For example, public speaking is a common fear. But if you go ahead with your speech even as your knees and hands are shaking, then repeating the experience will build courage. Living through a difficult situation teaches you that God has given you these abilities, and assures you that you’ll be able to manage future such situations, through God’s strength. Courage manifests in risk-taking and fortitude. There is a daring or risk-taking that is about seeing the good we don’t yet have – the girl you’d like to ask out, or the job you’d love to have – and being willing to risk danger, despite the fear we feel. This the courage that’s needed to take a hill in battle. Then there is the kind of courage involved in keeping that same hill when the counterattack comes. This fortitude or endurance is about holding onto the good that we already have. It resists the impulse to flee or retreat in the face of hardship and difficulty and pain. This is the courage that has us fight for our marriages, even if the going gets tough. Instead of giving up, we courageously address the problems. Recklessness is the opposite of courage. We understand that cowardice is the flipside of courage – cowardice shrinks back from danger, gives in to fear, and retreats in the face of pain, difficulty, or death. But courage is also the opposite of recklessness, which it is sometimes confused with. Reckless is more akin to crazy – thoughtlessly punching the gas pedal on an icy curve. Courage is always guided by reason, wisdom, and what is true. Courage recognizes the difference between necessary and unnecessary risks – some risks are not worth taking, so the reason you’d take a risk matters. Everyone needs a spine Just as Esther in the Old Testament was told, we have been placed in this world now, “for such a time as this.” We live in an unrighteous culture, where Christians are attacked as narrow-minded or haters when we dare to speak God’s truth. We need to hear again the words of Joshua 1:9, where God encouraged Joshua: “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” As Rigney said, “ is the source of our strength. There’s a reason. He is both the good that you cling to and the power that enables you to cling to it. He enables us to hold on when we want to let go.” In an article from the C.S. Lewis Institute on courage, Arthur W. Lindsley says: “How can we be free from this fear and have the courage to live for the truth in our times? Jesus says, ‘If you continue in my word, you are truly my disciples; and you will know the truth and the truth will set you free’ (John 8:32). Jesus exhorts us to continue obeying His word as the path to knowing the truth (in an experiential way) and to freedom. This is especially true with fear, anxiety, and worry.” Lindsley goes on to say, “Courage is not the absence of fear but acting despite it.” It is also important to note, as Rigney stated, that “Courage is a human trait, not a masculine one. It is required of everyone.” How many ways do we often give in to fear, anxiety, or worry instead of courageously trusting God to take care of us? If there is an illness that must be remedied by a difficult and frightening procedure, we must step forward in courage. If we are in need of a new job or home, we need courage to take the necessary steps to find one. If we are supposed to provide for a family, it may take courage to go day by day to a job that we really don’t love. If we have a rift between us and a brother or sister in the Lord (or anyone, really), we may feel fear about addressing the situation. But Christ says that we must (Matt. 5:24; 18:15), and so we need courage to do so, even within our own households. If a woman finds it a scary thought, to follow a fallible man in her marriage, she needs courage. 1 Peter 3 describes a submissive attitude and action and a gentle and quiet spirit, and he ends that section by saying that we can take inspiration from “holy women of the past who put their hope in God” – we can be like Sarah “if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.” Rigney states that “Courage is about what happens when things get hard.” He encourages us to face hard situations by Christ’s strength without grumbling and self-pity. “It’s such hope that firmly believes that hardships, trials, and dangers are instruments in the hands of a good God for our good. This subdues the passion of fear and the anxiety that rides up – What’s going to happen? I can’t control the future, what about the kids? One of the key traits of the Proverbs 31 woman is that she laughs at the time to come. She looks at the future with all the possibilities, including the horrific ones, and she says ‘bring it on.’ Sarah is a model of the sober-minded hopeful obedience and submission to her husband. Because of her hope in God, she conquered her fears, maintained that gentle spirit in submission first to God and then to Abram.” Imagine the absolute trust in God that made David step forward and challenge Goliath. Imagine the courage that enabled Jael to invite her enemy into her tent and conquer him. We may never be in that sort of danger. But we need courage to face the fears that we encounter in our daily lives. As this quotation from Mary Anne Radmacher suggests, “Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says, ‘I’ll try again tomorrow.’” We all have fears that need tackling, and we all need to do what we can to inspire courage in others. Conclusion How wonderful that God has established a community life for us in our churches where we are told to stir up one another to good works (Heb. 10:24), to have the older ones teach the younger ones from their experience (Titus 2), and to show compassion and love one another in every way (John 13:34-35). After we have stepped forward courageously, we are in a position to help someone else to do the same. Whom might you encourage today? Sharon L. Bratcher has just published her new book "Life and Breath and Everything" containing over 50 articles that were published in the past 15 years. You can find her book on Amazon.com or Amazon.ca....

Being the Church

Solving loneliness

“ revealed that 46 percent of American adults report feeling lonely sometimes or always. In that same study, younger adults reported feeling lonelier than their elders, with those aged between eighteen and twenty-two the loneliest of all.” – Jeremy Nobel in Project UnLonely ***** I used to latch onto quotes like this, because they made loneliness acceptable beyond the regularly-discussed groups of the sick, the elderly or the widowed. Loneliness is devastating for anybody, but I had the sense it was more acceptable for some people. “Normal people” – by which I thought of people like me, people on the younger side with their life ahead of them, who had jobs and knew lots of people – weren’t supposed to be lonely. But in the last decade, talk of loneliness has exploded for everybody. Loneliness has been declared a “pandemic,” there is a “friendship recession,” and “deaths of despair” are rising. Everyone in modern society is lonely, even the young, and it’s getting worse. This means that if you look around you, many people are probably lonely, including people who don’t look like your idea of the typical lonely person. If you’re lonely, chances are many others you meet are too. And it means that even though your loneliness can feel like it is “all your fault,” there must be something about our modern world that is making the rates of loneliness increase. If the obvious answer to loneliness is community, then being part of the church community should solve the problem of loneliness. So why are so many church people lonely as well? Let’s take a look at: what loneliness is what you can do what the Church can do about it 1. LONELINESS HURTS When I felt the most alone in my life, it felt like pure agony. Until that moment, I did not realize the depths of loneliness could feel like that. But why? First, what is loneliness? A simple definition of loneliness comes from Harvard professor of psychiatry, Robert Waldinger: “the sense that I am less connected to other people than I want to be.” This makes it different than just being alone. After all, some of us enjoy being alone, and some of us feel lonely in a crowd. Loneliness is actually the feeling of being alone or isolated, and so loneliness is something subjective. It’s something you have to ask others if they’re feeling. This is what makes loneliness tricky, because it’s not always obvious on the outside. And circumstances that might make you feel lonely might not make someone else feel lonely in the same way. Uncovering loneliness requires actually connecting with someone, ironically. The amount loneliness hurts can be underestimated unless you've experienced it yourself. But why would it hurt? Humans weren’t created to be alone. We know this from Genesis 2. But we also know this from the extreme difficulty of surviving entirely on your own. While there are survival stories where someone is lost in the wilderness for months, in general those separated from their group struggle to survive. So it’s no wonder we feel vulnerable when we don’t have anyone to rely on because we are vulnerable and in danger – not as vulnerable as if we were lost in the woods, wondering where we can find our next meal. But our bodies still perceive the lack of other people’s presence around us, and for many, that’ll get their brain screaming at them, danger, danger, danger! You might know intellectually that you are never alone because God is there, but can you feel it? Sometimes you can, and sometimes, like Adam in the Garden, you can’t shake the feeling of being alone. Not only does it logically make sense that we’d react to the vulnerability of being alone, there’s evidence that our bodies seem to register loneliness like pain too. Scientists have found that areas of the brain that “hunger” for food react similarly when you “hunger” for social connection. MRI studies have found that areas that light up when you’re in pain also light up when you’re rejected by others. It’s not totally crazy that loneliness can feel like pain either – like pain, it can signal us to change our behavior. Perhaps God meant to remind us through these sensations that He created us to care for and live in relationship with other people. Unfortunately, loneliness can lead to a negative cycle. You become less trusting of unfamiliar people when you're lonely, and more likely to view them negatively. You imagine they view you negatively too, and this doesn't get disproven because you pull away from others. And in turn, people can find you unpleasant to be around, since you’re more protective and less trusting. This cycle works to keep you lonely and isolated, and it takes great energy to break that cycle and open up to others again. This explains why sometimes you reach out to someone you know is lonely and they’re not receptive. It’s not easy to climb out of isolation once you’ve fallen into it. Lastly, what makes loneliness complex is that it’s not a single experience. You might think, I know what loneliness is, it’s uncomfortable but I don’t know what she means when she’s talking about pain. Well, everyone’s experience of loneliness is different. Why, after all, do some feel lonely when surrounded by people? They’re experiencing the crowd differently than the others in the crowd. Or take the vastly different life experiences that can lead to loneliness – a senior who can’t leave her nursing home, a husband who lost his lifelong companion, a child who just started at a new school – do all these types of loneliness feel the same? Do all people react to them the same way? So the label, loneliness, on its own doesn’t always explain exactly what a person is experiencing. Loneliness matters because it causes us to really suffer, even before we start to count the health problems that often stem from it. And it takes effort to break the cycle. 2. YOUR ROLE It’s not “all your fault” if you’re lonely. The common advice given can make you feel that way because it’s so action-oriented. You’re told: Just put yourself out there even if you’ve been doing that for years and haven’t seen many results from it. Invite people over even when it feels like pulling teeth to find a time slot on people’s calendars when they’re free to visit. Just be content even when the person giving you advice has no idea how tiring it can feel to make every single life decision alone. And reaching out to others for help can be difficult too. To say you are lonely can feel like you are opening yourself up to the scorn of the world, like a stamp on your forehead: No one likes me. It’s the pain of rejection, combined with the judgment that maybe you’re lonely simply because you weren't doing enough. Much of the rising problem of loneliness comes from the world around us. We don’t live in small communities where it’s possible for everyone to know everyone, and people now move from place to place a lot more. You might just be getting to know someone and then they get a new job across the country. Some of it is the pace of modern life, and the burnout many of us are experiencing just trying to keep up with rising bills and inflation. It’s hard to make friends when you work long hours, or if you’re wrangling two toddlers and caring for your elderly parents 24/7. Some of it is the way our cities are built, with a lack of places for us to casually run into our acquaintances often enough for them to become friends (which is actually the most common way to make friends – simply seeing them frequently). And some of it is the faceless technology we use every day which strips away personal connection in favor of apps, chatbots and algorithms. So no, it’s not all your fault. But that doesn’t mean you are helpless. As with so many other things in life, it’s about letting go of what you can’t control, and working with what you can. We can’t remake the modern world. At the same time, change can only start with ourselves. Our ancestors knew this, every time they spread the seed and prayed for rain. We can only do what’s in our control. So back to loneliness. What can you do? You can take the risks, and make the sacrifices. Accept the friction of living in community Loneliness is painful, but connecting with others can be bitterly painful too. The simple truth is, it’s hard to live with other people. We can have a negative view of “people” for good reason. People aren’t trustworthy, people do hurt us, people can irritate or insult us. Relationships involve friction, and we’re getting less and less used to that. Friendship is both being vulnerable with someone, and managing the tension of hanging out with someone who doesn’t always think like you. So having connections and relationships can feel like a burden, and a burden is heavy when we’re already burnt out by so many other things. Maybe because we think of community and relationships as being fun and easy, then when they’re hard we’re stopped in our tracks. Maybe because we know community is a blessing, we forget about the thorns and thistles. Then, when the beginning of building community is often so very hard and fruitless, we think we’re doing something wrong. After all, through technology, we’ve made “connecting” easy. You can find people with the same specific interests as you, however niche they might be. And you can talk to people without leaving your house. You can see people’s faces from far away. You can remove people you disagree with. As relational psychotherapist Esther Perel puts it: “We do not have the practice at the moment. Everything about predictive technologies is basically giving us a form of assisted living. You get it all served in uncomplicated, lack of friction, no obstacles and you no longer know how to deal with people.” In fact, because technology makes it easy to find “someone else,” and because it seems possible to find people who think exactly the way we do, we are more likely to expect others to adapt to us. We become less used to the flexibility we need to live among people with differences. But community is hard. Community is not finding someone who thinks identically to you, and spending all your time with them, but instead about feeling that friction, sometimes living in the discomfort, sometimes changing your mind and other times agreeing to disagree. It’s about learning what parts of yourself you hold loosely, as well as learning about the more difficult parts of yourself. Community isn’t meant to not take sacrifice. As Stephen Junger puts it in his book Tribe, after describing the quiet life of someone who worked hard for his community: “He understood that belonging to society requires sacrifice, and that sacrifice gives back way more than it costs… That sense of solidarity is at the core of what it means to be human.” So yes, it can be painful to live in community, but unlike the pain of loneliness, it can pay off in the end. Despite the effects of sinful human nature, belonging to society reminds us of what it means to be human, of what God created us to be. You see yourself reflected in others, you attempt to build new things alongside others, and your ideas are shaped by bumping up against what other people think. The first step is to take the risk – to make that sacrifice without knowing what the “pay-off” looks like. The sacrifice of time One of these sacrifices is time, because it takes time to know someone. This was admittedly easier when you’d interact with the same people frequently (such as back when you were in school). Then it was just built into your daily routine. When you’re lonely but busy, it can be exhausting to think of adding another thing to your “to do” list, to fit in regular contact with someone new. But you cannot build community without investing time. Sometimes there simply aren’t enough hours in a day. But when you can free up time to get to know someone new, it can re-energize you in ways your tired brain didn’t expect, through the different perspectives and fresh outlook on life that other people can bring. The sacrifice of effort without knowing results It’s a sacrifice too, to put in the effort even when there’s no guarantee of results. If we knew we’d always feel great every time we talked to someone new, we’d probably do it more often. (In fact, studies have shown we underestimate how much enjoyment we’d get out of talking to a stranger.) But when talking to someone new, there is often a stage where it feels like we’re going through the motions, politely making small talk. And worse, this investment in conversation might not “pay off”– this person might not turn out to be someone we connect with as friends. But while it might sound exhausting, it might not be as exhausting as you think to smile at the cashier or make small talk with strangers you meet. Even if not every interaction rises to friendship, you’re open to the possibility that they could. We want friends that are comfortable, that we can just show up for and not need to put in the effort. But to get there takes an investment of effort without any guarantee you will ever connect on that level. The sacrifice of opening up Lastly, you’ll need to take the risk of being vulnerable. There’s no connection without true vulnerability with another person. You do not have to be vulnerable with everyone you meet, and there is an argument that people sometimes reveal too much about themselves too quickly in our age of authenticity. It is wise to choose whom you talk about the deepest parts of your heart with carefully. But the only way outside of yourself is to open yourself up. This can be as simple as admitting loneliness to someone else. You’ll need to act in hope to overcome loneliness, because loneliness sucks you into negativity. Loneliness can convince you there's no way out – that the world is hostile and everyone hates you. Instead, climb towards hope. You don’t need everyone to like you, you just need a few to connect with, and to know that they do exist out there somewhere. Proceeding in hope will have you continuing to put yourself out there to find them. In the current climate, optimism is in short supply, but as Christians we know there’s hope no matter how bad things get. We have the freedom to be optimistic. I’ll stop there with the suggestions before it does start to sound like loneliness is all a result of what you do (or how you think). In the end, it’s about looking at what is in your control, working with that, and letting go of what’s not in your control. Letting go and letting God – we plant our seeds and pray for rain. We can’t solve everything And here’s one last painful truth – not all loneliness can be fixed. You can’t ever replace someone’s lost spouse. You can’t resolve everyone’s life experiences – there are sometimes reasons a person will feel alone even among other people, because no one else has seen the things they’ve seen. Things like burnout, and bad finances, and people moving or dying, can get in the way. It’s even possible that the community you happen to live in is dysfunctional in a way that isn’t healthy, and you can’t adapt yourself to that. Sometimes we can't control everything, we can't “fix” everything, and loneliness will hurt us. “Darkness is my closest friend,” laments Heman the Ezrahite in Psalm 88, and so we know even this feeling was well-known to Christians before us. In this broken world, not all things are fixed, but we always always can hang onto hope, knowing the perfect fellowship that is to come. 3. THE ROLE OF THE CHURCH We can think of loneliness as a problem “out there” because here in the Church we have community. But the Church is not immune to the impact of modern society – its faster pace of life, more technology and distractions, and increased individualism. When I mentioned I was writing this article, I received a flood of comments from Church members who could relate to loneliness for a variety of reasons. Yes, members of the Church shouldn’t have as many reasons to feel lonely. But that doesn't mean that we don't experience it. So what can the Church do? Be the Church A recent article by Derek Thompson, “The True Cost of the Churchgoing Bust,” argues that the loss of social ties might be connected to declining religion in North America. Churches (and other religious buildings) provide a communal gathering space where people meet regularly, giving them a space to interact and see others often enough to make friends. They also provide religious rituals (such as the Lord’s Supper) that take people out of the virtual world of their phones and into the here and now. “he religious ritual,” Thompson says, “is typically embodied, synchronous, deep, and collective.” You have to be present to experience it. So one way the Church can help is simply by existing and continuing to do the things it has done for centuries. But a hard truth is that showing up week after week for two services provides opportunity for community, but not community itself. Yes, you have come together with other people in an objective way, but if the connections don’t go deeper you may not feel very connected to other human beings at all. The rhythm of the Church community can be nice, because you don’t have to “make plans” for the activities that have happened in the Church for centuries. But sometimes you need to pour your heart out to a listening ear, and that kind of activity still does need to be scheduled. Recognize the problem What more can the Church do? One thing the Church can recognize is how deep the problem runs. We can be aware that the existence of a congregation might not be enough to erase loneliness among us. When you’re lonely, you feel invisible, and by recognizing loneliness is a problem, the Church can begin to help the lonely feel seen. However, this is more than just sympathy – too often an admission of loneliness is met with sympathy and nothing more. Sympathy is not companionship, and can be isolating. It’s companionship that heals loneliness. To say “I am lonely” is to be vulnerable without any guarantee of protection. Can we make it safer to admit loneliness to each other? Can we make it easier? Another side to this is understanding the challenge of loneliness, and the negative cycle that can reduce lonely people’s trust in other people. To bring a lonely person into community might take more time than we expect. We will have to show them they can trust the Church, and that they’re safe opening themselves up to others again. Show people where they belong Next, a church can also give someone a “place.” A better way to say it might be a “sense of belonging.” Modern life has brought not just a change in technology and urban sprawl, but also a change in our sense of belonging. In the past in our villages or tribes, we knew who we were and what we were expected to do. We knew who everyone else was, and we knew our role. Now we have gained a lot of freedom, but we’ve lost something too. We are able to constantly reinvent our “roles,” and even our “selves,” but in the end the burden of figuring ourselves out is laid on us. But in the Church, there is opportunity to be reminded of where we belong once again. We’re brothers and sisters, we’re elders or pastors or members. You might have a task, or you might have a place to use your skills. Your place in the community is recognized by others – you are needed and seen by others. But we can be more deliberate about this, especially for those who aren’t “in office.” There are many who don’t fit into the traditional Church roles (pastor, elder, deacon, pianist, bookkeeper, etc.) who still need a place, and perhaps we can be more creative in finding ways for those who fall through the cracks to still feel they fit in in an important way. It’s those on the edges of the community who don’t feel like they belong, who don’t think they have a role and who maybe even think no one would miss them if they weren’t there. Reaching out and showing someone how they can grow into who they’re meant to be can make a big difference. Be a community that accepts social friction If we’re going to turn away from niche, online communities to real, face-to-face communities in the real world, we will have to get comfortable with the friction that living in community can bring. Since the Church community is built on truths that can’t be changed, differences among us can feel destabilizing. Of course we should never compromise the truth, but we also have to accept God-created individuality among us. If there is any place where iron can sharpen iron, it should be in the Church, but it is a challenge to find ways of doing this wisely. We can start by accepting the possibility of discomfort, as well as practicing charity to others when we can. Sometimes friction may come from people’s past experiences, or past hurts. We can be patient, and not take all disagreements personally. We might need just a little more patience (and love!) than we thought. Be a social space Lastly, a church community can provide regular ways to connect beyond the worship services. Most of our churches already have many social events. But one thing to consider is the length of time it actually takes to make new, real friendships. This has been characterized as the 3-6 rule (three meaningful interactions with someone within six months), or as the 11-3-6 rule, described by Madeline Dore as “eleven different three-hour-long encounters, over the course of six months or so, to turn an acquaintance into an actual friend.” How many of our social events provide this level of connection for integrating new members or new friends into our circles? This is a pretty high commitment when you think about it! Of course, it's not all on the Church itself to provide this, but a community can certainly think about whether it is making these kinds of deeper connections easier or harder to establish, as well as whether the current social events are easy for those on the fringes to be involved with (the singles, for example, or the elderly). Inviting someone to your house once every couple of months might not address the loneliness in their heart if that’s the only social interaction they’re getting. We need to find the will to build communities again, or strengthen the ones we do have. In a world where social ties are crumbling all around us, this is more important than ever. But building community requires optimism, which is in short supply right now. It’s hard to build when we feel anxious about the future, vulnerable to threats, and divided. There’s a fear that what we build might not last. But the Church has faced worse times before. And it was always by clinging to each other– and God – that we came through the storms. CONCLUSION If you’re lonely, I’ve been there. I know life can feel like it has a gaping hole in it if you're on your own. I know the comfort faith can bring while still feeling the intense longing for the presence of a human being beside you. I know how even the enjoyable things in life can feel pale when you don’t have anyone to share them with. The Church is a community of broken people stumbling as we journey to heaven. We fail so often at providing the needed support to each other, we fail at being real and vulnerable with each other, and giving each other what will support us as we grow in faith. By making some small suggestions for where to start, I hope our Christian communities can see ways to open themselves up to the need around them and begin to heal the pain of living in a sinful world. The first step is recognizing and understanding the problem. From there, we can all grow as individuals and as the Church to become the kind of community that draws others in, simply because of the warmth and belonging that exists inside it....

Being the Church

Advice for young women … from A to Z

The late teens and early twenties are an exciting time for young women, but with so many opportunities to be considered, and big decisions to be made,...

Being the Church

...but I have a couch

Rosaria Butterfield's The Gospel Comes With A House Key came highly recommended, and after reading it I understand why. Rosaria is honest and insightf...

Being the Church

In the right place to serve: Christians are leading the way in helping one city’s homeless

Being the Church

Making hospitality easier: how onion dip changed the world

Being the Church

“good” vs. good

Our political leaders think they know what’s best for us. But by what standard are they judging what’s good? ***** Why should Christians participate in political action in the first place? That’s an important question to answer, since Christian involvement in politics is largely misunderstood by the world, and not always clarified that well by Christians themselves. So, again, why should Christians get involved in politics? To advocate for society to be built on Christian principles, since we know these principles are what God commands in His Word. We also want to advocate for the freedom for God’s people to do what He has called us to do. Don’t force your morality on me! Now, the world around us will ask us to kindly keep our religion to ourselves and they’ll tell us we shouldn’t try to force our morality on them. Other Christians can also be among the most vocal opponents of applying an explicitly Christian approach to public policy. You might hear them argue that while God’s Word is authoritative for us and for how we live, it isn’t authoritative for the world around us. Who are we to think that we can apply our faith to public policy? Isn’t it inappropriate to apply biblical principles to those who do not believe? We might be tempted to think that if someone’s choices are not hurting anyone, then do we still need to advocate for Christian policy? This might be particularly so when it comes to the whole area of sexuality: if two men are living together, or a couple is shacked up before marriage, should we really care? Maybe we should just keep to ourselves and avoid any sort of “political” conversations around marriage, or gender, or family. The “common good” But if we rule out a Christian approach to politics, then what’s left? The alternative typically proposed relies on the idea of “the common good” or “the public interest.” Policies are presented as being good for various groups of citizens. So, for example: decriminalizing abortion is presented as giving women the right to choose legalizing euthanasia is presented as a means of relieving suffering redefining marriage is presented as allowing people to love whoever they want Other examples would include how certain housing policies are presented as strategies to reduce homelessness and policies allowing safe injection sites might be presented as preventing overdose deaths. In these cases, does the government care about the common good? In their minds, yes. But their perspective of the common good is often different from a Reformed Christian’s perspective. The fact is, every policy springs from a particular worldview. Our worldview directly impacts how we define policy issues and how we propose solutions. If I think that choice or autonomy is the ultimate good, then abortion and euthanasia would seem to be good things. But if I know that God’s law places important limits on choice and autonomy, I’ll understand that abortion and euthanasia must fall within those limitations. Policy decisions impact real people, but how we view that impact depends on how we see the world and our place in it more broadly. And we must also examine the worldview of our policy-makers as we consider the policies they champion. A “faith” in science or liberalism or secularism or autonomy or anything else will affect how they view law and policy. For the true good of our neighbors Because of differing ideas of the “common good,” some Christians might say that we should only advocate for policies based on social scientific evidence that the world can agree with. But if we forget about the biblical worldview behind our evidence, it will often be interpreted in a way that is detrimental to those around us. For example, as governments seek to redefine the family, the prevailing attitude is “all kids need is a loving family - it doesn’t matter what the family structure is.” It can be easy to fall into this thinking. After all, aren’t loving gay parents better than an abusive mother and father? We begin to look at extremes instead of a biblical starting point for the family. And we fail to hold to an objective foundation for what is truly good for the people affected. Christians need to be confident in both the wisdom and goodness of our God, and consequently certain that principles set forth in the Bible will yield policies that are good for Canadians. It is in the Gospel where we find the truth about humanity and the world. Therefore, we should also seek to influence our society with God’s law. As Christian philosopher James Smith explained in his book Awaiting the King, “if we are convinced (convicted) that in Christ and His Word we know something about how to be human, then shouldn’t we seek to bend social practices and policy in that direction for the good of our neighbors?” This applies not just to life issues like euthanasia and abortion, but also when we’re talking about the family, gender, and sexuality. There too, we need to recognize God’s good design for human beings before we can understand what is truly good for our neighbors. And when we know what God thinks, then the facts will fit too – as ARPA Canada explained in a recent policy document, the natural family as God designed it is statistically most likely to produce the best outcomes for children. The world’s “good” exposed As confident as we can be that God knows best, we can also be certain that the world’s “good” will eventually be exposed as anything but. I recently learned about one organization that focuses on trying to help the “survivors of the Sexual Revolution.” That’s language you don’t often hear in the broader culture, because our society views the Sexual Revolution as a beneficial liberation from the constraints of sexual morality. But victims abound, including many who didn’t survive: prostituted and abused women, people who have undergone “sex reassignment” procedures, children who have lost a parent due to divorce, and of course the many aborted children. A recent example of harm caused by the Sexual Revolution is the enactment of a national, criminal ban on conversion therapy. The ban assumes that biblical views on gender and sexuality are harmful to people struggling with their gender or sexuality. In reality, the law hinders people who are struggling from receiving the help they need. This brings us back to the question of worldview. A Christian worldview in this instance presents the truth about God’s design for humanity, the reality of a fallen world, but also the way of restoration. Conclusion The world will criticize us for advocating for biblically based policies, and characterize it as trying to “force our own morality on others” or as “getting involved in something that doesn’t concern them.” Other Christians may even find fault with bringing the Bible to bear in the public square. But it is because we care deeply about our neighbors that we want to share and advocate for what is true and good. And it is because of God and His Word that we know what is true and good. So when we hear of a policy decision, we need to step back and look at biblical principles and what God’s Word says about what is glorifying to God and good for our neighbors. From there, we can analyze whether the government truly understands what is good for our neighbors based on God’s good design. As Nancy Pearcey writes in Love Thy Body: “Christians must be prepared to minister to the wounded, the refugees of the secular moral revolution whose lives have been wrecked by its false promises of freedom and autonomy.” Advocating for Christian policy is not selfish nor oppressive. It is truly for the common good....

Being the Church

Hospitality hacks for folks who want to be, but keep finding excuses not to be, hospitable

As Christians, we know that hospitality is important, but if you've ever tried it, you also know that it can be really hard, and we can find so many reasons to put it off. When I moved out of my parents' house five years ago, I decided to try to invite everyone from my church over at least once in the space of a year. As a single person, I had to get creative as I set out on this endeavor. Here are some things I learned by doing and by observing. 1) Just do it Hosting people can be very intimidating. What will we talk about? What if they don't like the food I made? Just remember that God blesses all obedience and He has clearly commanded that we show hospitality (1 Peter 4:9). Even if at the end of the visit you feel that it went poorly, remind yourself that God is pleased with your obedience, and His pleasure is ultimately what we're after. 2) Think about inviting more than one family When you invite more than one family that means you can leave them to talk to each other while you prepare food/get things ready. This also takes the pressure off you to keep the conversation going because if you have more people together, naturally there will be more opinions and topics coming up. 3) When inviting strangers, have some prepared questions/topics to discuss If I don't know the people coming over, I try to have some getting-to-know-you-questions and interesting topics in the back of my mind so that if the conversation gets stale I can revive it. 4) Know how to cook something You don’t have to be a master chef to have people over - most people don't care what you feed them (though it is always wise to ask about allergies and if there are any foods they don't like). But it is good to put in some practice until you have few staple recipes up your sleeve so you can cook without getting stressed. It's also handy to have extra cookies in the freezer – cookies are a treat even unthawed – and ingredients for a meal that's quick to put together for when you haven't had time to prepare. 5) Take people up on their offers Often, when I invite people over, they ask if they can bring something. Say "yes." If you're making soup, one family could bring buns and another family could bring dessert. This helps cover the cost of feeding a lot of people and it makes people feel more comfortable when they've helped out. 6) Remember the kids Own toys and books for children. This doesn’t need to be costly if you keep an eye out at garage sales or visit a thrift store or two. And if you have children, hosting families with other children is a wonderful opportunity to teach them to look not only to their own interests but also to the interests of others (Philippians 2:4). 7) Know it doesn't have to be perfect It's more important that you actually practice hospitality than that you're all put together. It's nice if your house is clean, but it's okay if it's not. We all have homes. We all know homes get messy. Some of the best visits have happened when I've left the dishes heaped on the counter, thrown together some macaroni, and we ate off plastic plates. Conclusion Finally, when it comes to being hospitable perhaps the most important thing of all is deciding that you will be. God doesn't call us just to host the people we like. We are to welcome strangers, our neighbors, and our church families. Maybe you're church is too big to have everyone over in a year. Could you do it in two years? Three years? At the very least you could try to talk to everyone in the lobby after church in the course of a year. Give it a try. Don't know your neighbors? Start by saying "hi" and learning their names. You could host a games night, invite them over for pizza, shovel their driveway, or plan a block party. The Art of Neighboring by Jay Pathak and Dave Runyon is a good resource on neighboring well. And remember, hospitality is how you get to know strangers. Look around you at church on Sunday morning, I'm sure there will be visitors you could talk to. If you invite them into your home that's fantastic, and if you simply talk to them at church it's still showing hospitality as you welcome them in your church setting. Through hospitality we tangibly show God's love to those around us. Prayerful consider how much you and your family can do this year. And then do it....

Being the Church

God wants young men to be brave, not crazy

Bravery, like most things in life, is learned. To develop it, one must practice. However, it is the very rare young man who wants to practice being brave. Many will be eager to prove that they are already brave, which is why young men do crazy, dangerous, reckless things – to prove to themselves and others that they have no fear. So they drive motorcycles too fast, and drive cars too fast, and drive motorized vehicles of various other sorts and sizes too fast. But this isn't brave. Brave and reckless both involve confronting danger, but there is a difference. The brave man confronts danger because he must, or because he should. There is a reason to do it: a damsel to be defended, a child to be saved, a principle to be upheld. Brave is daring all because it will honor God. A reckless young man risks life and limb for no reason at all. It's courageous vs. crazy. And no matter how many times a young man might do wild dangerous things, it won't help him learn how to be brave. Bravery has a purpose to it, and to develop bravery a young man must confront danger with the right aim in mind. This is bravery So how can a young man practice being brave? By doing brave things for the right reasons. God wants us take risks, so long as they are the right sort. He wants us defending what is true, and beautiful, no matter the opposition. So a young man can practice being brave by asking out that godly girl he's always been interested in. She might say no, and that is quite a danger to face. But she might say yes, and that's reason enough to risk it. He can tell his friends he isn't going to go drinking with them this weekend, but that if they want to come over they can shoot hoops. Or go rollerblading. Or watch the game together. Or watch the game and then at halftime play an epic match of rollerblade basketball (being brave can involve some creativity too). Proposing ideas risks having them shot down and labeled "lame." That could happen, because being brave doesn't mean everything will go your way. A brave man understands that failure is possible, and sometimes even likely. He knows there might be a cost. But he also knows that his peers' wrath doesn't compare to God's pleasure. A young man could also practice bravery by wearing an explicitly Christian shirt on his secular campus. This is provocative, but not foolhardy. Some students and professors are sure to hate it, but other Christians will be encouraged to learn they aren't alone on campus after all. Maybe he could volunteer as a firefighter. I know two young men who are ready to put their lives on the line for a very good reason indeed: to save the lives of others. And a young man who wants to grow and develop his bravery could volunteer at a public pro-life event. In recent years dozens of young men have been among those setting up massive pro-life flag displays across Canada. They know abortion is an issue that gets some people angry, yelling, and hysterical. It takes courage to be involved. But they understand this is important. They are ready to risk anger to advocate for the defenseless. Conclusion We want our young men to learn how to be brave, but we don't want them to be reckless with the life and limbs God has given them. So to foster their bravery let's encourage our young men to do dangerous, risky, important things. A version of this article first appeared in the October 2014 issue...

Being the Church

Quotes on the single life

Singles are not second "…the nuclear family should not be the center of church life. Rather, the family of God is the center…. It is the church (not married people) that provides a home where all of us find the stability and rootedness that we need." – Peter and Ginger Wallace, “The Church and Singles” in New Horizons, Jan. 2016 "…in the covenant community of God there are no singles. God calls us family: brothers and sisters, mothers and fathers in Christ. We are each to be wonderfully connected to the other as part of a church community, where each person is needed and attached to others in her own family as well as to the broader church family." – Nancy Wilson, Why isn’t a pretty girl like you married? …and other useful comments "The Bible is clear that singleness is not a second-rate status in the church (1 Corinthians 7:8), and it provides several compelling portraits of singles (Paul, Mary, Martha, Lazarus, Lydia, and possibly John the Baptist and even Timothy.)" – Carolyn McCulley "…the Bible refers to Ruth as a virtuous woman (Ruth 3:11) with the same Hebrew phrase used in Proverbs 31. Two uses of the same Hebrew phrase give us data points so that we can better understand the term. We can examine the narrative around these data points and use it to draw conclusions. I totally changed how I thought about Proverbs 31 after seeing the data (for you left-brainers) and story (for you right-brainers) of the virtuous woman of Ruth. Once you see that Ruth was known as a virtuous woman when she was a barren widow from a foreign land, we understand that our ability to be a virtuous woman doesn't depend on a husband and children…" – Wendy Alsup, “A Post Mortem on A Year of Biblical Womanhood” posted to TheologyForWomen.org on Jan. 26, 2016 On seeking a spouse "To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable." – C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves "If you want God to provide you with a husband, you have to consider whether you are the kind of woman that the kind of man you want to marry would want to marry. Shall I go over that again? What kind of woman is that kind of man looking for? Are you that kind of woman?" – Nancy Wilson, Why isn’t a pretty girl like you married? …and other useful comments "One of the dangers with male/female friendships is that more often than not, one of the two wants something more from the relationship. In the end, usually either a heart is broken or, at the very least, the person with the crush is wasting time not looking elsewhere. If you are holding on to a long-term friendship in hopes that one day it will magically turn to love, you are lying to yourself. The chances that your friend will wake up one day and see you in a totally different and romantic light are miniscule. Save yourself the heartache. Keep friendship with the same sex and save the opposite sex for love." – Hayley & Michael DiMarco, Marriable Men, are you taking the servant-leader role (Ephesians 5:25) in the relationship right from the beginning? In any guy-girl dynamic, someone has to be the first to say "I like you" and with that comes the very real risk of being the only one to say it. When that happens, it stings. Are you willing to stick your neck out for this woman? Are you willing to risk looking the fool, so she doesn’t have to? Or are you waiting for her to take the lead and ask you out? – Jon Dykstra, “Marriable Men” in Reformed Perspective, Dec. 2012 One means… "Marriage is a means, not an end. It is one of the means God uses to glorify His name among us, but it is not His only means." – Nancy Wilson, Why isn’t a pretty girl like you married? …and other useful comments Jesus never had sex "The most fully human person who has ever lived, or ever will live, is Jesus Christ, and He never once had sexual intercourse. This can be powerfully liberating to single people who may think at times, “This is one thing I will never have, sexual relations, and in not having it I will not be all I was meant to be.” To this thought Jesus, the virgin, says, “A student is not above his teacher, but everyone who is fully trained will be like his teacher” (Luke 6:40). We will always have mountains of truly human Christ-likeness yet to climb, but sexual intercourse is not one of them. For He never knew it. And He is infinitely whole." – John Piper, Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood, Foreword xix. Singleness has its own challenges "I was almost thirty-four when I got married, so I know something of the loneliness of adult single life. And even after marriage I struggled with discontentment at our son’s soccer or basketball games because I was at least ten years older than the other parents around me…. I do want you to know that if you struggle with discontentment, I’m right there with you. Whatever situation tempts us to be discontent, and however severe it may be, we need to recognize that discontentment is sin. That statement may surprise many readers. We are so used to responding to difficult circumstances with anxiety, frustration, or discontentment that we consider them normal reactions to the varying vicissitudes of life….When we fail to recognize these responses to our circumstances as sin, we are responding no differently from unbelievers who never factor God into their situations." – Jerry Bridges, Respectable Sins "There is nothing in the world wrong with wanting to be married. It is only wrong to be miserable about it. And wanting to be married does not equal discontent. Many women are feeling false guilt about this." – Nancy Wilson, Why isn’t a pretty girl like you married? …and other useful comments "The apostle Paul, who himself was single, provides encouragement for the unmarried by noting that he himself had to learn the secret of contentment (Phil. 4:11). Paul was not born content, nor was his discontentment eradicated at conversion…. How then did Paul learn this contentment? Like his Lord, he learned contentment through the things he suffered (Heb. 5:8). The apostle admits to the Corinthians that while under Satanic attack, he prayed three times for deliverance. Yet the Lord denied his requests and told him, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Cor. 12:8–9). Singleness may be one of those afflictions tailored to you, but his grace is perfected in your weakness. The single Christian who suffers weakness through unrealized marital aspirations and the disappointments of unanswered prayer may yet find grace at work through the unhappiness." – A. Boyd Miller IV, “Contentment in Singleness” in the January 2016 issue of New Horizons "Avoid trading marital distractions for other distractions. Paul may have been right about our freedom from spousal concerns, but in an iPhone, iPad, iPod, whatever iWant world, single people never have trouble finding their share of diversions. In fact, if you’re like me, you crave diversion and tend to default there, whether it’s SportsCenter, Downton Abbey, working out, fancy eating, endless blogging and blog reading, surveying social media, or conquering the latest game. We might call it resting, but too often it looks, smells, and sounds a lot like we’re wasting our singleness." – Marshall Segal, "Single, Satisfied and Sent" "A discontented woman is also very vulnerable when it comes to receiving attention from men that she knows full well are wrong for her. She rationalizes….she will be more likely to consider someone who will maker her far unhappier than she is now." – Nancy Wilson, Why isn’t a pretty girl like you married? …and other useful comments "To quote another , 'The main difference (between singles and married folk) is a heightened risk of loneliness, and heightened temptation to self-absorption, leading to selfishness.' The cure for both of these is hospitality and incorporation: being invited to participate in everyday life, and being expected to contribute to everyday life – in the church and in particular families in the church.” – Peter and Ginger Wallace, “The Church and Singles” in the January 2016 issue of New Horizons Singleness has its own opportunities "I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs – how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world – how he can please his wife – and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world – how she can please her husband." – 1 Cor. 7:32-34 "I was single when I was senior pastor of a church on the west coast of Canada, and there were all kinds of advantages to that. There were some disadvantages too. But there were some wonderful advantages in terms of the hours I put in, evening visitation, calls when I could get people at home. So there are advantages to being single in the ministry, and singleness should not be despised." – D.A. Carson "Look for ways to serve in the church....What are some ways that you can serve because you are single?" – Peter and Ginger Wallace, “The Church and Singles” in the January 2016 issue of New Horizons "Say “yes” to the spontaneous. It’s just a fact, marriage murders spontaneity — not entirely, but massively. If you haven’t learned this yet, I doubt any of your spontaneous friends are married. One of your greatest spiritual gifts as a single person is your “yes.” Yes to a random phone conversation. Yes to coffee. Yes to help with the move. Yes to stepping in when someone’s sick. Yes to a late-night movie or the special event downtown. You have the unbelievable freedom to say “yes” when married people can’t even ask the question. When the spouse doesn’t exist, you can’t hurt them with your selfless, impulsive decisions. Be willing to say “yes!” and bless others, even when you don’t always feel like it." – Marshall Segal, "Single, Satisfied and Sent"...

Being the Church

A more generous ministry of mercy?

The Lord loves his church and gave her the gift of the ministry of mercy. But is this blessed ministry as active as it can or should be within the com...

Being the Church

Improving the elders' home visits

It is October and as “home visit season” ramps up, my thoughts turn to how home visits are being conducted and whether our methods serve well to a...

Being the Church

Singleness: on being active and included in the body of Christ

Being the Church

The Christian job description

When I was a young seminary student, I had to read an extensive commentary by a Dutch theologian. I had never studied Dutch writing before, and I real...

Being the Church

Maintaining the motivation of elders and deacons

https://youtu.be/Oj29rx4ELFs The following is a rough transcript of Rev. Moesker's 45-minute presentation above. **** I've been asked to speak here and I was given some suggested topics including one about motivation. According to the dictionary “to motivate” is to spur, or stimulate to action. Actually, there's a whole field of psychology connected with motivation. I confess I have a Costco card, and I have shopped at their stores on a number of occasions. They set up their store strategically to motivate people to buy the stuff that's in the store, and to motivate them to buy what they actually, probably don't need. Electronic stuff and jewelry are near the entrance – you’ll notice every store is the same that way. Clothing and dry goods are in the middle, with the food items toward the back. Most people go for the food items but they have to pass through all the other stuff to get there and their carts fill up with more stuff as they go on. It’s a motivation thing – it’s psychology. There's a whole field of business management that has developed theories of motivation in the work goals context. They have a list of psychological factors that can stimulate people's behavior – desires for: money, success, recognition, job satisfaction, teamwork, etc. Companies will hire motivational speakers – makes me think of the motivational speakers who said, “Whatever you do, always give 100%...unless you're donating blood.” There might be some psychology connected with the motivation of office bearers in Christ’s Church too. I wouldn’t count that out. But I’m no psychologist and I believe the topic has to be approached spiritually rather than psychologically. That doesn't make it less practical, not at all. Looking at things spiritually has always got to have practical implications. Serving the Lord concerns real life, also as office bearers. It's strange – I have a number of books for, and about, office bearers. I checked them all out for some direction for this presentation but none of those books gave practical encouragement and direction on how to stay motivated as an office bearer. So I didn't have a lot to go by. But that's what I was asked to think about. Now being an office bearer can be an emotional and spiritual rollercoaster ride. Hopefully, this presentation and discussion will be helpful for present and future office bearers as far as staying motivated in their work, and staying on task. So my approach is first, as mentioned: Consider how office bearers can become demotivated pastorally and personally. And then think about how to stay motivated, personally, and together as counsel. We’ll look at how we can help each other as office bearers too. DEMOTIVATION So we’ll look first of all at demotivation. In your pastoral work you can become demotivated. The Bible actually talks about demotivation, on the part of office bearers. The Apostle Paul talks about being anxious for the churches, and of frustration with church members, in his letters. But I think the most clear mention of office bearers becoming demotivated is in Hebrews 13 verse 17. And it was mentioned there: Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with groaning, for that would be of no advantage to you. Consider that last line “Let them do this with joy.” Now often that word this is connected to give an account– that they give account to the Lord, not with groaning but joy – but that’s not what the this here is referring to. While it is true that office bearers have to take to heart that they have to give an account for their work to the Lord, that's not what this refers to. According to Johann Bengel – he wrote Exegetical Annotations on the New Testament– the word this dramatically refers to the leaders watching over the souls of the church members. So “let them do this with joy and not with groaning” – let them watch over the souls of the church members with joy and not with groaning. It can be that office bearers watch over the souls of those under their care with joy. They do the work – they see growth, repentance, correction, change, submission. But it can also be that they are watching over these souls with a lot of groaning. And that groaning is because they do their work and they don't see any change. They don't see growth, repentance, correction, or submission. And they can end up groaning because their work as elders or deacons is not respected, not accepted. Their bringing in, and applying of, God’s Word doesn't bear positive fruit in church members. Maybe there is a hardening of the heart even, or a refusing to listen to the correction given by deacons. In any case, there's groaning, frustration, and sadness on the part of the office bearer. That's also how John Calvin approaches this passage. He has a few interesting statements about the last part of the text where the Spirit adds for that would be of no advantage to you. Calvin says in connection with that, “nor is it a wonder how few at this time are found who strenuously watch over the Church of God.” He's referring to this text, and he says that it's no wonder that office bearers are demotivated too if they have to groan. He adds, “we suffer the punishment of our own perverseness when leaders grow cold in their duty or are less diligent then they ought to be.” In other words, if church members cause their leaders to watch over their souls with groaning, they shouldn't be surprised that those leaders aren’t motivated to look after their souls. In fact, God gives them over to those kinds of leaders. Hebrews 13 shows us that office bearers can groan and be demotivated due to dealing with disobedient unsubmissive church members. Now, it is possible for elders and deacons to do their work with joy but also groaning. In fact, Bengel says in his commentary that a truly good office bearer will actually, besides rejoicing, also groan in his work. He's going to find that he will have times he has to groan in his work – it is part of being an office bearer. I'd like to look at some of the practical things that can cause an office bearer to groan in his work. Situations we might not understand While in church office, men will meet with people who are abused, addicted, suffer from mental illness, like depression, maybe sometimes even schizophrenia, and you want to understand them to help them. But you have a hard time with that. Half the story You want to love them as the Lord’s people but they often make it hard for you, to give them care, show them love. Sometimes even though you try to win their confidence, you only get half the story of what they're dealing with, probably because they're ashamed of the whole story. That makes it very difficult to understand or support them. I always say to people when you're trying to find out what they're dealing with, it's like playing cards. You want to play cards with me but you want to give me five and you have ten, and I can't play cards that way – you have to give me the whole story. So it makes it difficult to understand and support them if they don't tell me everything. Then you keep pushing for that and then eventually they'll just refuse to talk to you anymore. They want another elder or they want other deacon to come. Sometimes church members can almost seem unpastorable – you don't know how you can help them. They seem to block you every time you want to help them. They block that. Very frustrating. Ongoing struggles Every ward usually has at least one very difficult personal or family situation or deaconal circumstance to deal with, that can claim a lot of your precious time and attention. And sometimes those difficult situations have gone on for years. You’ve spent a lot of time and effort trying to guide, to support, but things don't just seem to go forward at all. You end up completing your term in office after the three years, and maybe after a couple years you end up back in office again and it's still there. And maybe even you get it in your ward again. That can be just very, very frustrating that way. Conflict Conflict situations among church members can be extremely difficult to deal with. It's often difficult to understand what in the world is going on here; what is the big point here. Sometimes it doesn't seem like there's a good reason for a conflict but what happens is all kinds of side issues enter into the picture over time. And it becomes hard to see the forest for all the trees. It can be very hard to understand either side of a conflict like that. You can't give direction either; you try to mediate and don't want to take sides. But both sides end up thinking then that you're supporting the other side. Then conflict situations can be very difficult for office bearers to deal with. Discouraging! Denial of authority Most office bearers have experienced how people sometimes don't recognize the responsibility and authority of office given by Christ. You try to follow up on something, and you end up being accused of harassment – “you're harassing me – what don’t you leave me alone.” Then you come to the door and it’s “oh you guys.” They talk about “you guys” and so on. We all know how problematic it can be to arrange a home visit with certain families. Sometimes it can be very difficult – no time, they just can't fit you in anywhere to meet with the office bearers. Sometimes you get no respect and that can be very discouraging to as an office bearer. Fruitless meetings You start off thinking, the Lord has given me this task, but it's not accepted by other people in the congregation who you are trying to help. Consistory and council meetings aren't necessarily a night out, right? As office bearers you are required to deal with all kinds of matters, some which are difficult to make decisions about. Maybe you propose something and fellow office bearers don't see your point. You think it really important and that can be frustrating too. Possibly every time I propose something they're not in favor of that. Or a matter gets put on the council table again which has been turned down many times over the years and it seems that somebody just can't let it go. There it is again – we've dealt with that in the past and it's been rejected then, so how come it comes up again? That's frustrating. Or consistory meetings and council meetings drag on and are disorganized. It's hard to steer a discussion – that's a hard task to steer a discussion in a good way. And when it becomes disorganized, things just don't seem to want to move forward, and it drags on. Meetings that go on until midnight are difficult for office bearers. Sometimes a meeting takes a long time to get over – you might have a hard time getting to sleep afterwards. You’re mulling things over in your mind yet, and you worry about situations going on in the congregation, or in classis or even in the Federation. You think where in the world are things going? Doubt All demotivators. So that's in your work. And that can have a personal effect – I’m talking about personal demotivation. Sometimes it seems as if your work has so little effect. Then you wonder about the power of the Holy Spirit. Does He really work and change lives? You have your doubts then. And then you have to deal with those personal doubts, and cynicism. You might be thinking, I don’t know about this whole setup. Especially when your work of trying to bring about a financial or spiritual correction brings angry response and maybe causes people to stop attending church or withdrawing from church. When that happens then you almost inevitably, at first, take that personally and then you feel it reflects negatively on your work as an office bearer. It's good to ask yourself did I do my work as best as I could but you can't take that personally all the time. That becomes a really big burden, and it weighs you down. You think maybe I'm no good for this task – I work for the Lord and I don't look forward to giving account to Him for my work, as it says in Hebrews 13, that we have to give account. Guilt As an office bearer you have to deal with a lot of personal guilt. As a brother said, you have to deal with that you're never finished with your work. It's a tough thing. I had to get used to that – I was an autobody spray painter and I finished my job, and then we go to the next one. But in the Church it's never done, finished. It seems to go on and on; one issue is settled down, and then there's another one. It just keeps going on, never finished, and it seems as if it's actually a full-time job, sometimes. There's always this to-do list hanging above the heads of office bearers - I should do that, could do that. It can happen, if you are enjoying an evening at home, or time off with your family, you feel guilty because actually I should be doing that, or should be visiting there, or should be reading up on this. It can be difficult to balance family, and your task as office bearer, and not just time-wise but also brain-space wise. It's hard to balance that. Your responsibilities as office bearers seem to want to use up a lot of space in your head. ELIJAH AND MOTIVATION Now you listen to all the discouraging and frustrating things about being an elder or deacon and I mention these things not to depress you if you’re a novice right now or to discourage others who might be future office bears. No, this is just to show that the need to think about motivation because there is much that can drag down an office bearer in his work. Even though they know that they’ve been called to office by the Lord, office bearers can become demotivated and can groan a lot in the office. So they can be demotivated, and then they need to be motivated. There are examples in the Bible of church leaders who were demotivated and who were re-motivated so I'd like to use an Old Testament example this time, Elijah, after the confrontation with the prophets of Baal on Mount Carmel in 1 Kings 19. Queen Jezebel heard what he had done and she swore that she would have killed, so obviously not a whole lot changed in Israel after what happened on Mount Carmel. It was a miraculous, wonderful thing, fire came down from heaven and consumed everything on that altar and the altar itself, even though everything had been made wet, and yet it didn't impress the people to any great extent, and especially not Jezebel. So Elijah had to flee into the wilderness of Beersheba, and he sat down for under this broom tree here and he said, “It's enough Lord, it's enough. I'm done, take away my life because I'm no better than my father.” So he was feeling pretty down about his office as a prophet. Despite what happened on the mountain, there was no wave of repentance. You might remember how the Lord twice sent an angel to Elijah there in the wilderness, and brought food and water.And on the strength of that food and water, he traveled for forty days without anything else. He ended up in a cave on Mount Horeb, and the Lord told him that He was going to appear to him there. There was a great windstorm, there was an earthquake, there was fire on the mountain but the Lord was not in those things. After the fire Elijah heard a little whisper and he realized that the Lord was there in that low whisper. So he stood at the entrance to the cave and he covered his face and the Lord asked him again “What are you doing here Elijah?” And he said, “I've been very jealous for the Lord, the God of hosts, but the people of Israel have forsaken your covenant, throwing down your altars, killing your prophets with a sword, and I even I alone am left and they seek my life to take it away.” He was downright sick and tired of it. The Lord God tells me to go and anoint Hazeal king over Syria, and Jehu king over Israel and He assures him that the ungodliness of Israel would be punished in the future, and then He also adds, “Yet I would leave 7,000 in Israel, all whose knees have not bowed to Baal.” God’s Church endures So what does that tell us? That the Lord God makes sure that the Church continues. Even if it seemed that Elijah's work as office bearer wasn’t bearing any fruit at all, apparently, on the outside, the Lord was still busy gathering and keeping His Church. Article 27 of the Belgic Confession takes that incident with Elijah as evidence that God preserves his Church, even though it may look small, in the eyes of the world, because Christ is our “eternal King who cannot be without subjects.” I love that little statement: “the eternal King who cannot be without subjects.” That's something to think about after Ascension Day. He reigns and therefore the Church will not die. It will not be wiped out. He will keep His Church. And the fact that the Lord wasn't in the storm, that powerful storm with a mighty earthquake, or the dangerous fire, but in that small whisper, says something about how the Lord works. It is about the Holy Spirit, not you So how does this passage help with motivation for office bearers in their task? When your work to a bring and apply the Word of God doesn't seem to show much effect, remember that it is the Lord who gathers, preserves, and defends His Church by His Spirit and Word. We confess that in Heidelberg Catechism Lord Day 21. The Lord does that. Calvin, when he talks about the offices, emphasizes that too, and then he says, the Lord works via small, sinful men. He's just amazed that the Lord uses people who are no different than other people in their human nature, their sinful human nature, that He uses them for His purpose. In other words, you can't give people faith. You can't make people repent. As office bearers, you can't do that no matter how hard you try, no matter which techniques you might think of using. People come to faith and repentance only through the working of the Holy Spirit through the Word and your task and is to bring that Word, to apply it to the best of your ability. You need to leave the outworking of what you bring to the Holy Spirit. You can't do the Spirit’s work for Him, no matter how much you'd love to do that. You'd love to change this person but the Spirit has to do that, and you know that He works quietly in His time via the Word. So that's what you need to focus on – bringing applied Scripture to the people in your care. I want to emphasize that: the Word is your tool. It is the only tool that you have to use, and to the best of your ability then. That passage in the Old Testament shows that office bearers have to accept too that this word is a two-edged sword. It cuts two ways. It has a two-fold effect when you bring it. It can bring to faith and repentance and growth, but that same Word can also bring to hardening of heart, to alienation, to hostility. God has chosen to use sinful people to work His will Sometimes that can bring elders and deacons to feelings of frustrations and inadequacy, as we mentioned. You lay it out for somebody as best you can – it's right here in the Bible, you know, and, logically, you show it to them. This is how that works out. And they just don't want to accept it; they just don't want to see it. And after the meeting with that person, you drive home and you think I should've said this or I could’ve said that and I could've done this different and whatever else. Just leave your imperfect work, leave it up to the Spirit. As long as you have opened the Bible and let the Spirit work, and you never know how that can happen. The Spirit knows God's elect from eternity already, and He uses the imperfect words of God's office bears to work out His purpose in His time to salvation or to condemnation. Another thing that passage about Elijah in 1 Kings 19 shows beautifully is, it can be hard for an office bearer to see gross sins taking place in the Church, and ongoing resistance to the admonitions of the Bible. I think he can be greatly encouraged, if he figures, well, I've done my best and I have to leave that in the Lord's hands. The Lord came to Elijah in that little tiny whisper. It's not my might, but by his Spirit that He works. God gave you a helpmeet I also think – I haven't touched on that – but I think office bearers, when they go out, can be greatly encouraged if they know that when they are doing their best out there, that their wife is also at home and able to keep the home fires burning. Because that's a hard thing to figure out, how much can I be away from home? You're preoccupied with other things, and a supportive wife is a huge motivator for an office bearer too. God uses Church discipline Elders should be willing to admonish and apply biblical discipline where there's obvious and continuing disobedience or indifference to what the Lord says in His Word. Do your best to understand and empathize with the person you're dealing with. Certainly, sometimes people might be dealing with a mental disability, or mental illness – you have to give them more time and leeway. Every person is different, every person is unique, but if there outright continuous rejection of any part of the Word, then elders should not be afraid to apply discipline on the basis of that Word. Admonishing and applying church discipline is ultimately a redemptive act; it's calling them back to the Lord. And when these things drag on and on, it's demotivating for office bearers, for a consistory. Discipline applied is very motivating too, when it's applied properly. Then it's very motivating. Not that you like to apply it. But applying it when there's continued walking in unrepentance can be a relief and encouragement for office bearers, and it's evidence that the consistory is really watching over the souls of the members of the congregation. God gave you your office Finally, office bearers are chosen by the congregation and they're appointed by the council and they're given their offices by God Himself. It says in the questions addressed to the elders and deacons at their ordination in the form for ordination: “First, do you feel in your hearts that God Himself through his congregation has called you to these offices?” God Himself, calls elders and deacons to their respective offices. Maybe a brother thinks, “that sounds kind of high-minded. You know, I've been asked to do this work and so I'm doing it but don't make more of it than it is.” Whereas modesty is good – I understand that – when a man says “I do” to the questions of the form then he has to accept that God has given them that responsibility to watch over the souls of the people under his care. God will equip you And nobody should live in continual disobedience to his Word. Nobody should live in continual need without having mercy shown, uncomforted, and uncared for in the congregation. And if God has called you, He promises that He will stand by you when you work. The more you do your best in office, the more you'll discover He does that too. I have to say that sometimes you have those times of cynicism, that you think is God really working there? But when you dive into things and you push through and you realize yeah He is at work. I can accept that. I see that. He works in tiny increments; He doesn't work necessarily very quickly, all at once, changed hearts – very, very small increments. You mentioned, sometimes you feel inadequate about stepping into the office again, being ordained. I read somewhere about somebody being ordained to office. He said to the minister, “I feel like a soldier and I’ve been put on the front line but I don't have a gun.” And then the minister said, “The Lord will give you the gun you need.” Some points there to think about. That that's more about personal motivation – things to think about you are personally doing your work to keep you going. NEHEMIAH AND MOTIVATION Also, as to counsel motivation, I mentioned long and disorganized meetings as demotivators for elders and deacons. Poor cooperation, poor organization, in a consistory are a discouragement. My wife and I are reading through the book of Nehemiah at this time. Nehemiah was really instrumental in rebuilding the walls of Jerusalem after the exile. The temple had already been built, partly. The walls were still in ruins. He was cupbearer of King Artaxerxes. After hearing about sad state of affairs in Judah, he got the king's permission to go back to Jerusalem and rebuild the city and its fortifications. A lot of resistance came from non-Jews like Sanballat the Horonite, and Tobias the Ammonite. But Nehemiah got the leaders of the Jews together on the same page so that despite the threats and resistance they got together and rebuilt the walls of Jerusalem in 52 days. That was a huge project in 52days – now the walls were only half the height they were before. But 52 days for those people. He implemented quite a few reforms – if you go through the book of Nehemiah – including the provisions for the temple, and the priests, and the hallowing of the Sabbath Day, the feast days again. The thing is, Nehemiah had to get the leaders on board every time again. We know of one instance where he didn't get it them on board and they didn't join in rebuilding the wall. But for the rest he was able to get them organized – their names are all listed in the book of Nehemiah, at various times. Also, when they renewed the covenant with the Lord the leaders were there. And then, because of resistance from outside and even from within there had to be ongoing encouragement to keep the building and the reorganization going. It is wonderful to read how so many were able to keep working at the rebuilding of Jerusalem, and the reformation of worship. Imagine how those leaders had to keep encouraging and also admonishing each other, while Tobias the Ammonite and Sanballat the Horonite were resisting them. They had to work with weapons at the same time as they were building the walls. Brotherly admonition So yeah, that's an encouragement to each other. How do we encourage each other to keep building? Every consistory and council has a matter of censura on the agenda – censura morum or censura fraterna, which I think is the better term: brotherly admonition or brotherly censure. It's right near the end of the agenda usually. That's in line with article 73 of the church order, which says the following: The ministers, elders, and deacons shall mutually exercise Christian censure and shall exhort and kindly admonish one another with regards to the execution of their office. So every meeting of officer bearers needs to include the item of censura. Also the deacons’ meetings need to include that item on the agenda. I'm afraid that this is underutilized in our churches. I have to admit, myself too, that you get to the end of a meeting and you open your eyes and see the brothers there and you think, okay let's just get this over with. All the important stuff has been dealt with, and this is just an extra thing on the agenda. But it isn't. At the end of a meeting, you might not want to get into exhorting and admonishing one another with regard to the execution of their offices anymore. But it's an important part of motivating one another to the work of the offices. You get a good leadership and the work gets done as happened in Nehemiah’s day because Nehemiah had to go there to those leaders and he had to tell them every time “this is what we need to do” and some of them doubted him sometimes, but no, he would tell them “this is what we need to do.” It was a form of cenusura. This article 73 ought to be used to encourage one another in the execution of office, especially when there are difficult matters to deal with, and a brother is having a hard time. Then is the time to speak up: “Are you having a difficult time with this brother?” Can we time to redistribute the tasks in in the consistory or among the deacons? Or it is a time to kindly admonish one another if it was apparent that a brother isn't fulfilling his task as he should. Sometimes that needs to be done. I know one council we had an office bearer who was just busy with something else – he was getting some instruction, going to classes, and he just wasn’t on task. We had to remind him, this is your first task, and you might have to put other things on hold for a while. It can be difficult to talk about it, but it's a matter of watching over the souls and the well-being of the congregation members because that's what you're responsible for together… together as consistory and as council. Brotherly encouragement I believe censura fraterna could be made use of in every meeting as a means to motivate all the office bearers in the duties of your offices. And also to exhort. You can raise encouraging points: “Brothers I think we need to think about this” or “Let’s keep this up” “Let's do this” or “Let's look at that.” In fact, I would recommend that a council on the basis of this article of the church order could do what I noticed some of the Free Reformed churches of Australia do. Those churches set aside time at four meetings a year for an evaluation of the work of the minister, elders, and deacons. They have four sessions and they evaluate the work of the office bearers. They have a list of what they deal with in each of those four sessions and I believe that such an evaluation of the work being done by the office bearers would help the brothers stay on task, and encourage them to fulfill their task too, and motivate them. I could send a copy of those evaluation questions to each council if you wish. I kind of separated them – they have a handbook I think a handbook is a beautiful thing for organized work at in a council – but they also have the list of those questions that they ask in each of these four sessions. Sermon evaluation is part of it – I think that could be separate – it also covers the work of the elders and the deacons and the minister too. So I could, if you wish, sent that to each council. CONCLUSION That's my presentation. I hope that I've been able to give present and future office bearers some things to think about in order to stay motivated. We can discuss that here yet. The ultimate motivation, though, is of course what the Apostle Paul says motivated him and his fellow workers in their task as bringers of the gospel. In 2 Cor. 5 he mentions that. He's always defending his office, by the way, to the Corinthians. He wrote three letters to the Corinthians: first Corinthians, and then he wrote a sorrowful letter which we don't have anymore, and then he wrote 2 Corinthians – what we have is 2 Corinthians, which is actually 3 Corinthians. But he wrote those three letters and Corinthians is a difficult situation for him. There was a lot of things happening in Corinth. It was a tough, tough haul for the Apostle. And he had to keep encouraging them, and also the brothers in discipline. Remember 1 Cor. 5, there was somebody living in sin in the church there, and living with his father's wife. We don’t know the exact situation but he said that person needs to be put out of the Church, and he has to tell the office bearers in Corinth, put them out, because this one sin is like yeast – it leavens the whole lump. Everybody's affected by that in the church. When you look at that church, it's like a basket of apples. One rotten apple in there will affect all the other apples too eventually. So he tells them that they need to do that. So there were a lot of issues. There was a lot of strife in the church – groups against one another. So this is nothing new, all the things that you can deal, all that's has been going on. It's the fight against the devil who wants to destroy the Church all the time. In 2 Cor. 5, the Apostle Paul says, I'm not commending myself and the other office bearers to the Corinthians – not boasting about themselves and saying you have to listen to us. No, Paul says in verses he says in verses 14 and 15, “for the love of Christ compels us.” That that's the biggest motivator of all. “The love of Christ compels us” because, he adds, we have concluded this “that one has died for all.” See congregation, the Lord has died for these people. “So that those who live might no longer live for themselves, but for Him who for their sake died and was raised.” And that’s your task. That they live for Him. And that’s your calling as office bearers – that you exhort your people and admonish them to no longer live for themselves but for Him who for their sake died and was raised. So the love of Christ is the ultimate motivator that we need to keep in mind as office bearers. If we know his love for his people we will want to make sure that we watch over their souls. Thank you. Rev. Jack Moesker is Minister Emeritus to the Owen Sound Canadian Reformed Church....

Being the Church

On being a Titus 2 young woman

Older women train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. Here in Titus 2:4-5 the Apostle Paul gives instructions to young women that fly in the face of today’s accepted western wisdom. These instructions will strike many as ridiculous, laughable, outdated, even patronizing. Surely, this can’t be God’s will for young women in our modern, western society! Actually, it is. Paul here is not stating something new – his instructions didn't come out of the blue. What he writes here is built on God’s abiding revelation as first revealed in Paradise. When we look back through Scripture we see that Paul is simply echoing what God has said in the Bible many times before. Consider the following passages. Genesis 2 wives From the beginning God has given young women the important task of being wives, and in this role being a help to their husbands. The Lord God put the man He created in the Garden of Eden, with the mandate “to work it and keep it” (vs. 15). The Lord observed the man-by-himself in the Garden, and determined that “it is not good that the man should be alone” (vs. 18). On his lonesome the man could not image adequately what God’s love and kindness and holiness and patience, etc., were like, for these qualities come out primarily in relationships. To overcome this lack that the Lord observed, He did not set beside Adam a penguin to be his companion, nor did He create a second male as a companion. What He did instead was fashion a new being, a woman. Paul in the New Testament explains the significance of this divine act: “woman for man” (1 Corinthians 11:9). We also read that God ordained the married state (Genesis 2:24) with the divine intent that the man be the head and leader, and the woman be "helper" to her husband in his God-given task in daily life (see vs. 15). The woman was not created to be a lone ranger, living independent of man or for her self. To the degree that today’s way of thinking encourages women to be independent of men (or, for that matter, men to be independent of women), today’s thinking is simply not biblical. Of course the fall into sin complicated the wife's helping role greatly, if only because selfishness has now come to characterize every person (Ephesians 2:3). In fact, part of the curse on the fallen woman was that she would attempt to dominate her husband (Genesis 3:16b), something distinctly contrary to the ordinance of the beginning and therefore not tolerable among God’s people (see Ephesians 5:22ff). Genesis 1 mothers We also learn in the very beginning of the Bible that young women have been given the vital role of being mothers and teachers of the next generation. The Lord God created male and female to, together, image what God was like. And, together, they were also to be fruitful so that they would produce more people on Planet Earth who could image God (Genesis 1:27,28). However, the children that would be born to Adam and Eve in Paradise would not have some sort of instinctive knowledge about how they were to image God. No, they would need to be taught. Inasmuch as Eve would give birth and nurse the child, she would play a vital role in the child’s early physical, mental and emotional and, most importantly, spiritual formation. Mothering, we all realize, is much more than nursing or feeding; mothering is first of all training the child how to live in God’s world, how to image Him. Even in Paradise training on that level was not to start when the child was a toddler or of school age or became a teenager; had infants been born in Paradise, they would have needed concerted instruction from day one on how to image God’s characteristics of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, etc. This much is clear, then: as Eve busied herself with her tasks beside Adam in the Garden, she was at the same time to be diligent to mold her children, speak to them of their Maker, and show them what imaging Him was like in life’s changing circumstances. Again, the fall into sin made this task so very much more difficult – if only because both the child and the mother were now inclined to any and every sort of evil. Even so, the task given at the very beginning remains. No mother is to permit evil, selfish attitudes to grow in the heart of her little one; from the day her child is born a mother is to show what love is, and demonstrate kindness, patience, self-control, etc. In fact, exactly because of the sinfulness of the child’s heart, the task is much bigger and more vital than it would ever have been in Paradise. To say it in Moses words: "You shall teach diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand…" (Deuteronomy 6:7f). Mothering is full-time commitment! Proverbs 31 household managers Proverbs 31 works out in practical terms the roles given in Genesis 1 & 2. The “excellent wife” (vs. 10) is busy in so many things – buying, selling, importing, helping the poor, etc. A young woman should not think of her household task as a limiting one. The way the world portrays it a young woman can either become something... or stay at home and manage the house. However, when we look at the woman of Proverbs 31 what we see is a capable, talented, ambitious woman. We see a woman who is certainly not limited in what she does. But she is also not career-driven. It isn't self-fulfillment or a spirit of independence that drives her; instead her agenda revolves around her household: “the heart of her husband trusts in her…. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life” (vss. 11f) so that “her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land” (vs. 23). More, she recognizes her role with her children so that “she looks well to the ways of her household…. Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her” (vss. 27, 28). This woman is not the proverbial “super-mom,” but simply a God-fearing woman (vs. 30b) who takes the principle of Genesis 1 and 2 seriously, and works them out in the economic context of her day. Titus 2 young women Now let's return to our passage in Titus 2. This letter is written to the believers in Crete, where the gospel had only just come, so Paul saw need to list for Titus the bits and pieces required to build up church life (Titus 1:5), including instructions to the “young women” of the congregation. The older women (see "Older Woman have a lot to give") were to train the young women to live in a particular way - and that training happens, of course, with the book of Genesis (and the rest of the Bible) laying open on the kitchen table. "love their husbands" The first thing the older women are to impress upon the younger is the need to “love their husband.” It’s striking: Paul’s opening instruction is not that the younger wives are to submit to husbands and serve them; it’s instead the command to love. The term the apostle uses has nothing to do with erotic love, but everything to do with the love of the gospel. The same word appears in John 3:16, “for God so loved the world, that He gave His only Son...” It’s the same word the Spirit uses to describe Jesus’ work on the cross: Jesus “loved them to the end” (John 13:1). He who was with the Father in glory from eternity laid down His life for His own, even though He knew that they would desert Him and deny Him. The good news of Jesus’ self-emptying for sinners had come to Crete and for that reason the believers of Crete were expected to act in a certain manner (Titus 2:11). Specifically, because the gospel of Jesus Christ had come to Crete, the pious were to “renounce ungodliness and worldly passions” (2:12) – and that includes that they were to love their neighbor as themselves. The closest neighbor God gave to the “young women” was obviously their husband, the man with whom she was “one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). Younger women, then, were duty-bound to love their husbands as Christ had loved them; how else could they image what God was like? Christ laid down His life for the ungodly (Romans 5:8); that was the depth and color of His love. Since his people are to do the same Paul does not mention whether these young women’s husbands are deserving of love or not; the young women are simply to do to their husbands as Christ has done to them. To fail to love in that self-emptying manner is to send a signal into the community that prompts the community to speak ill of God’s Word – and the apostle won’t have that (vs. 5b). "love their... children" The people next closest to the young women are the children the Lord has entrusted to their care. It’s not surprising, then, that the apostle next instructs the women to love those children. Again, the point is not that these mothers are to be nice to their children or to feel emotional about them; the point is that they empty themselves for their children’s benefit as Jesus Christ emptied Himself for these women. Again, that self-emptying for the children’s benefit images what the Lord God is like. The young women of Crete were undoubtedly as affected by the fall into sin as anyone else. In their midst will have been mothers who would have preferred to be in the workforce, who would have felt more fulfilled by whatever amounted to an "office job" back then, who loathed housework, or who didn’t have a "feel" for children. But Paul’s word is categorical; they were to empty themselves as Christ emptied Himself, and so show love for their children. Paul wasn’t so much encouraging particular feelings for the children as actions; the children should see from Mom what Jesus’ love looked like. "be self-controlled and pure" The next two terms Paul uses to describe what the younger women were to be, appears in our translations as “self-controlled” and “pure” (NIV and ESV). The first of these terms appears elsewhere in Scripture to mean “being in one’s right mind” (Luke 8:35) or exercising “sober judgment” (Romans 12:3). Right-minded and sober judgment implies that one include all necessary facts in ones decision-making process. That includes the facts mentioned a few verses later in Titus 2:11: “the grace of God has appeared” in Christ’s birth, death and resurrection, “bringing salvation for all people.” The “young women” of the church are to factor that good news into their decisions as they set about loving their husbands and children. Including the gospel in one's decision-making processes is being "right-minded," thinking with "sober judgment." The term “pure” is used in pagan literature to describe the need to be chaste/pure when you enter the temple of your idol. The term, then, echoes the instruction of vs. 3, where Paul told the older women to act in a fashion "befitting a temple." The younger women have also received the Holy Spirit, and so are temples of the Lord God; they demonstrate that reality by loving their husbands and children as the Lord of the temple loved them. "working at home, kind" With the underlying attitudes made clear, the apostle again comes back to what outward conduct Genesis 1 and 2 requires of New Testament women. He uses a phrase that translates well as “working at home.” The point of the phrase is not that these younger women always have their hands in the sink; that is a devilish caricature not at all in agreement with God’s intent. The Lord's intent for the younger women is laid out in Genesis 1 and 2, and is drawn out clearly in passages of Old Testament Scripture like Proverbs 31. As mentioned earlier, everything that mother does (whether at home or at the market or in the office) is geared to what’s good for her household, be it first her husband and then her children. That’s taking the principles of Genesis 1 and 2, and working them out in the economic realities of the day. That’s "homeworking," where all her activity is directed to what’s good for her family. The point is again: not selfishness, but service to the family as Christ served you. The next term Paul uses dovetails neatly with the instruction to be “working at home.” In her "kindness" or "goodness," she images God’s goodness and kindness to His children in Jesus Christ. So she “looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness” (Proverbs 31:27). "submissive to their own husbands" The last instruction the apostle gives to the young women of the congregation is caught in the phrase “submissive to their own husbands.” We realize that here is again a distinct and clear echo of God’s instruction in Genesis 2. Though the fall into sin has made submission so infinitely more difficult than it was for Eve in Paradise, this posture has remained the will of God despite the fall. It’s God who once placed a particular woman beside a particular man, and it’s now His will that a woman in faith accept the head God has placed over her and submit to him. After all, “the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people” (2:11); in life’s multiple brokenness there is salvation from the torment of sin through the blood of Jesus Christ. So we’re made able to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions (2:12), including the desire deep within women to resist submission (Genesis 3:16b). So a woman who knows Christ's victory is real demonstrates her conviction by submitting – in obedience to God’s ordinance – to the man God gave her. As a temple of the Spirit she has been made able to obey – and know herself safe in the hands of her faithful God and Savior. "that the word of God may not be reviled" Our modern western culture scoffs at the apostle’s instruction to younger women; it’s so archaic, so demeaning, so sexist! We’re inclined to say it’s precisely instruction such as this that makes God’s Word ridiculous, and if we could get rid of this throwback to an outdated culture, the gospel of Jesus Christ would be more acceptable to modern people. In response we need to note two things. The first is that the cry for female freedom is not so new: cultured folk of Paul’s day called for the same thing. I mention this because Paul was definitely aware of the thinking of his time, and so very aware too that his instruction in Titus 2 was distinctly out of step with the finer tastes of society’s movers and shakers. Yet he dared to write what he wrote – and the reason for his daring is simply that he knew he was unpacking, for his modern time, God’s unchanging Word as first revealed in Paradise. Secondly, we need to note how the apostle concludes his instructions concerning the young women. They are to behave in the way he describes, he says, “that the word of God may not be reviled” (2:5b). It’s a statement we’re surprised at. Isn’t it precisely those instructions of Scripture that have a young woman work at home, submitting to her husband and devoting herself to her children that make the Word of God look silly? How, then, can Paul say that obedience is necessary lest the Word of God be reviled? The point here is simply that anyone, whether godly or pagan, who reads the Word of God beginning at Genesis 1, can figure out for himself that the woman was created for the man, that her husband is her head, that she has responsibility for her children, and that her place is in the home. Any honest reader of Scripture can figure out that Paul’s instruction in Titus 2:4-5 is not new material, but simply summarizes what God had earlier revealed. If these Bible readers, then, see that you, a Christian who claims to treasure the Word of God, ignore God’s instruction in relation to younger women, then you give the unbelieving reader of Scripture reason not to take the rest of God’s Word seriously either. If you insist, as it says in Titus 2:11, that “the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people,” and if you encourage the people you meet to believe in the good news of Christ crucified for sin, you would be shooting yourself in the foot if you then decided not to take Genesis 1 & 2 seriously. For if you don’t take God’s instruction in Genesis 1 & 2 about the place of women seriously, why should you expect somebody else to take seriously other passages of Scripture that describe Christ’s death for sin and His resurrection from the dead? If you don’t take Titus 2:4-5 seriously, on what grounds can you still take Titus 2:11 seriously? The result? The word of God is reviled. If any word of God is to be taken seriously, it must all be taken seriously. Value beyond measuring Let's tie it all up. Paul had left Titus on Crete with the mandate to “put in order” details of church life on the island (1:5). The fact that he, in that context, included instructions about “young women” can only mean that these sisters have an invaluable role to play in church life. And while the world doesn't like the supportive role that God has given women, the popularity of the adage "behind every successful man is a good woman" shows how even they recognize how vital this support is. Young women's husbands have a leadership role to play in society (Genesis 2:15) and to fulfill that task they need a helper (Genesis 2:18). Similarly, the behind-the-scenes (no big plaudits or public praise) support and love mothers give to their children is what allows them to grow in wisdom and knowledge. As another adage explains, “the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world.” There is no way we can overstate the importance of the role God has given to young women. Young women, then, are not to think of marriage, mothering, and working at home as drudgery. Of course, keeping it from being so can be a distinct challenge in our fallen world. But the fact that it’s a challenge is no reason to flee from the task. Instead younger women, redeemed as they are in Jesus’ blood and renewed by His Spirit, are to lift their eyes above the snotty noses and the piles of laundry, above their tired husband and their own preferences, and fix their attention on what God is doing. He intends wives and husbands, in relation together, to image Him, and train the next generation to do the same! To be allowed to be involved in His church gathering work is such a privilege! That church gathering work happens first of all in the home, where young women have been given such a critical role. Neither money or business makes the world go round, and it isn't education either; rather, the home is where it’s at. How privileged the position of the young godly woman! Rev. Bouwman is a minister for the Canadian Reformed Church of Smithville, Ontario. This article first appeared in the February 2013 issue....

Being the Church

Older women have much to give

Our church has a sizable number of older women. Why? What task would the Lord give these sisters in His church? Like the older men, the older women of the congregation are a God-given resource for building up the congregation. This is what Paul draws out in his instruction in Titus 2:3-4a when Titus is told to ensure that: “older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or addicted to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women…” Who is Paul talking to? The term "older women" directs our thoughts to those sisters in our midst who have been around more years than many others. By virtue of the time they’ve already spent in God’s school-of-life, they have the life experience to be able to touch others in a helpful manner. We do not know whether the “older women” Paul speaks about on Crete were married, single or widowed. Undoubtedly, as with us, some were married, while others were single – be it that they had never married or were now widowed. In any case, Paul does not speak here about the “older woman’s” role in relation to a husband; he speaks instead about their role as “teachers.” So it’s this role we need to draw out now. A teaching role The Lord God in the beginning created two people, a man and a woman, to image Him, and He gave them the command to “be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and have dominion over” all creatures (Genesis 1:28). God’s intent was that the earth would be filled with people who, in the way they interacted together and cared for God’s world, would reflect what God was like. Yet the children to be born would not know from instinct how to image God; they would need to be taught. This was, of course, the parents’ task, with Eve as mother to play a central role. The longer Eve spent in the school of life, the better she would get to know God – and so the better equipped she’d be to teach those who came after her what service to God ought to look like. This task would, of course, be true not just for her, but also for her daughters in the coming generations. Older women, wizened by years in God’s service, have a vital role to play for the benefit of those less schooled in life. The fall into sin complicated the task profoundly, but did not alter God’s intent for the older women. It’s no surprise, then, to find Miriam teaching the women of Israel. She’s Moses’ older sister (cf. Exodus 2:7), and Moses was 80 years old when the Lord sent him to Egypt to deliver His people (Exodus 7:7). With the exodus now behind them, Miriam led the women with tambourines and dancing to sing the Lord’s praise on account of His redeeming work (Exodus 15:20f). Similarly, the “excellent wife” of Proverbs 31 “opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue” (vs. 26). And in the New Testament we read of Anna at 84 years of age speaking readily of the newborn Savior “to all who were waiting for the redemption of Jerusalem” (Luke 2:36ff). Examples such as this form the foundation upon which Paul builds his instruction to Titus concerning what needs to be done to build up church life on Crete. Titus must ensure that “older women… teach what is good” – an instruction fully in line with God’s earlier revelation. Yet to be effective in teaching, these older sisters need particular behavior, ie, they need to walk the walk before they can credibly talk the talk. So Paul tells Titus to ensure that the older women are “to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine.” "Reverent in behavior" The term translated as “reverent in behavior” is literally: “in behavior befitting a temple.” It’s a formulation full of gospel, and hence of grateful obligation. The Lord God had told His people at Mt Sinai to build a house for Him, so He could dwell with them. The tabernacle Israel built had the Holy of Holies in the back and the people outside, with the altar for sacrifices in between. The altar spoke of the work Jesus Christ was going to do; He’d sacrifice Himself on the cross to atone for our sins so that sinners might be reconciled to God. Years later Christ Jesus actually did come to pay for sin, and triumphed too; the curtain preventing access to the presence of God in the Holy of Holies was torn at the moment of His death (Mt 27:51). After His ascension into heaven, Christ poured out His Holy Spirit so that in Him God might dwell in sinners’ hearts. The result is that Paul can say that believers are temples of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 3:16; 6:19). That was a reality that was also true for the saints of Crete, including the older women. That’s the force of Titus 2:11: “For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men.” It’s obvious that if you are a temple you need to live a lifestyle befitting that status. That’s what Paul wants Titus to impress on the older women; they are to act the part. Of course, others of the congregation are to act the part too, but Paul is now concerned specifically that the older women be what they are, because God has entrusted a teaching role to them. What does that look like? What might a lifestyle “befitting a temple” look like? Here I need to refer to Leviticus 10. As you’ll notice from what follows, themes from Leviticus 10 come back repeatedly in Paul’s instruction in Titus 2:3. The book of Leviticus assumes the completion of the tabernacle God wanted Israel to build. The first 7 chapters detail how the sacrifices on that altar-between-God-and-the-people had to be done, while Leviticus 8 explains who had to perform the sacrifices on that altar. Chapter 9 describes the ordination of the priests, and then ends with Aaron blessing the Israelites and the glory of the Lord appearing to the people. What an exciting day: God and sinners living together in harmony – something of Paradise is restored! And then the sons of Aaron got caught up in the excitement of the moment – so says Leviticus 10 – and in their enthusiasm they volunteered a sacrifice on that altar. Bam: “fire come out from before the Lord and consumed them, and they died before the Lord” (vs. 2). How tragic! And the lesson is clear: God is holy. Somehow, spontaneous sacrifice was behavior not “befitting the temple.” Now that the Holy Spirit has been poured out on Pentecost, the point is even truer for New Testament temples. The older women, teachers (and hence models) that they are, need to adopt behavior “befitting a temple,” that is to say that in their service of God they are to be even more particular & careful than the priests of Leviticus 10 (and hence of the Old Testament). For God remains God! That’s why can Paul can work out in Titus 2:12 what this looks like. “The grace of God that brings salvation has appeared” and it “teaches us to say ‘No’ to ungodliness and worldly passions” – including the inner urge to serve God in a self-chosen way. Instead, our identity as "temples" teaches us – Paul continues - “to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age.” That "teaching" happens through the example of the older women – and Paul is happy to flesh that out in further detail still. "Not slanderers" Paul follows the instruction to live in a fashion “befitting a temple” with the command “not to be slanderers.” The word translated here as "slanderers" is actually the same word that appears repeatedly in the Bible as the name of the Devil, Diabolos, a word that describes the notion of sowing confusion. Slander does exactly that to someone’s reputation, and so is evil and ungodly. The older women of Titus’ congregations were to avoid it. One wonders, though, why Paul feels the need to tell Titus to teach the women not to slander. Were the Cretan ladies excessively guilty of this evil? The fact that “Cretans are always liars, evil brutes, lazy gluttons” (as Paul affirmed in 1:12) leaves room for that understanding. Yet I suspect that more is involved here. In Leviticus 10 the Lord God responded to Aaron’s sons’ spontaneous worship with heavenly fire and death. One could understand if Aaron was tempted to respond to God’s deed with some serious criticism of God’s high standards. Moses, however, reminded Aaron of God’s holiness, with the result being that “Aaron remained silent” (Leviticus 10:3). He did not slander God’s good name despite the anguish he undoubtedly felt at the death of his boys, nor did he sow confusion among the people about what kind of a God they had. Since God had come to live among the people in the tabernacle, the people needed to conduct themselves as persons “befitting the temple” – and by his remaining silent, not slandering, Aaron exemplified precisely that sort of behavior. The older women of Crete, now, were to adopt behavior befitting a temple. Part and parcel of that behavior was that they would not slander God’s good name, be it through their own misconduct or through giving someone else occasion to think or speak evil of God. In fact, their words were always to be inspiration for others to think highly of God and of His deeds in our daily lives, and so to praise Him. "Not addicted to much wine" Wine (and it’s true of all alcoholic drink) is a gift from God. God told Adam and Eve on the day of their creation that, “I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth…” (Genesis 1:29). God also told them that they were to “rule over” all creation (Genesis 1:28) – and that obviously means that they were to see to it that no created thing ruled over them. To be ruled by alcohol, then, is sin. That’s true in terms of addiction, and is true too when one is "under the influence." Hence the Bible’s repeated instruction to use wine in moderation (cf. Prov 23:19-21; 1 Tim 5:23). The older women of Crete were to take this Biblical instruction to heart. Again, though, one wonders why Paul would mention this matter to Titus. Did the older women of Crete have a problem with alcohol? That “Cretans are… lazy gluttons” (1:12) could suggest it was so. But again, Leviticus 10 sheds some other light on the matter. For after the bodies of Aaron’s two dead sons were carried away from the tabernacle, “the Lord said to Aaron, ‘You and your sons are not to drink wine or other fermented drink whenever you go into the Tent of Meeting” (vs. 8f). As the priests labored at the altar in God’s presence, they should be clear-headed and in full control of their faculties; God, after all, was holy. Given that the older women of Crete – teachers as they were to be - were to behave in a manner befitting temples, it follows that nothing should becloud their judgment; they should always be clear-headed. "Teach what is good" Good judgment, of course, is what one requires if one is to “teach what is good” and so “train the younger women” (2:3,4). We’ve already drawn out that the Lord assigned a teaching role to the women, with its focus on the coming generations. Strikingly, though, this again is an echo of Leviticus 10. For after the Lord had forbidden Aaron and his sons to “drink wine… whenever you go into the Tent of Meeting,” the Lord added this instruction: "You must distinguish between the holy and the common, between the unclean and the clean, and you must teach the Israelites all the decrees the Lord has given them through Moses" (Leviticus 10:10,11). In chapters 11-15 the Lord expanded on clean and unclean foods, animals, fish, clothes, houses, etc. The point of the instruction was that Israel was to know that they were holy, and therefore different from the nations; they were to tolerate no sin in their lives. This point required teaching, and that task fell to the priests as they labored in the tabernacle – and they, for the sake of teaching clearly, had to be alcohol free. Again, the priests were to “teach the Israelites all the decrees the Lord had given,” and that includes instruction about all the main points of doctrine as the Lord taught it through the laws. This teaching function belonged to the priest. But Paul in Titus 2 harks back to Leviticus 10 to undergird how the “older women” are to teach. Their conduct is to be consistent with the Christians’ identity as temples of the Holy Spirit, they are not to slander God’s works and words, and they are to be consistently clear-minded as they join Titus in teaching the younger women the implications of the faith. Let no one misunderstand. Paul is not saying – and I am not either - that the older women are to receive a place of leadership in the church. The Holy Spirit moved the apostle elsewhere to write, “I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent” (1 Timothy 2:12). Yet Paul would not have women pushed into a corner as if they have no role in the congregation! Very deliberately Paul uses language in Titus 2:3 that is borrowed from Leviticus 10, about the priests’ role as teachers, and applies that instruction to the older women. As Paul seeks to build up church life in Crete, he would have the older women play a vital role! Yet that vital role is not directed to the congregation in its entirety, but is directed to the younger women of the flock. These younger women also have a critical role to play but Titus can’t reach them so easily. So, in relation to these younger women, the older have that position of teaching – as a clear echo of God’s intent in Genesis 1. Value Paul would not have the older women of Crete – or of today - cloistered in some seniors’ club, or perhaps forever away on a cruise. He sees the women playing a vital role in the growth of the congregation. These sisters – they’ve spent years in God’s school of life - are a rich resource in the church of Crete, for the congregation’s edification. The same is true today. The Lord God has left a goodly number of older women in the congregation. Why? Because God says that we need them! There are so many younger women in the congregation, from mothers of busy households to mothers of small households to sisters with yet no children or even no husband yet. These younger women are, by God’s ordinance, helpers to (today’s and) tomorrow’s office bearers, school board members, businessmen and fathers; these young women are also mothers to the next generation of church leaders. Obviously, these young women play a pivotal role in the church life. That is why they need all the guidance, encouragement and help they can get. By God’s ordinance, it is the role of “the older women” to give that help. The older are under divine obligation to speak with their daughters (in-law), their children’s friends, and other “young” sisters of congregation. Certainly, women’s society is one forum where that conversation can happen. But be honest: when the older sisters were younger years ago, they didn’t commonly open up on life’s real burdens to a virtual stranger, let alone in a public meeting. Asking for help takes privacy, and the openness that comes with familiarity. Point: let the older sisters get into the homes of the younger; nothing beats a coffee together. Instead of lamenting how younger mothers struggle to cope with the challenge of keeping their children under control, invite a couple of these mothers over for a visit (ah, yes, let the husbands join the ladies…), and share some nuggets on childrearing as you’ve learned it over the years. Encouragement Older sisters: the Lord God has not put you out to pasture! On the contrary, you have received the Holy Spirit in full measure. Pentecost is reality: “Even on my servants, both men and women, I will pour out my Spirit in those days, and they will prophesy” (Acts 2:38). In the confidence that the Lord gives a task and equips to carry it out, search for ways to touch the younger of the congregation. So you can “still bear fruit in old age… proclaiming, 'The Lord is upright; He is my Rock'” (Ps 92:14f). Rev. Bouwman is a minister for the Canadian Reformed Church of Smithville, Ontario. This article first appeared in the January 2013 issue. ...

Being the Church

Laughter in the pews

My mother has a wise saying, one of many I might add, that if you go to church faithfully, you'll experience lots of interesting things. And she wasn't even talking about the sermons. She was referring to those unexpected events during the church service, things that shock or surprise us, or may even move us to fits of giggles or tears of laughter. I suppose each of us will have a favorite story to tell. And for some reason, things seem excruciatingly funny just when we're trying to be the most solemn. The smart shopper This tale happened on a Sunday morning late one January. The matronly Mrs. de Member (not her real name) sailed confidently up the aisle with a row of children in tow. This was a normal weekly occurrence. However, this Sunday the confidence was sadly misplaced. Mrs. de Member, no doubt in the busyness of getting half a dozen children church-ready, had forgotten to do a final check on herself. Perhaps her husband had already tooted firmly on the Suburban's horn, to remind his family that it really was time to go. After all, he did not want to be the last one in the consistory room, again. The brothers were not always gentle in their ribbing. Yes, if Mrs. de Member had done that final mirror check, she certainly would have noticed the sales tag that was now flapping and twirling from the back collar of her brand new winter coat. The offending stub informed all the curious that Mrs. de Member was a most frugal shopper. Apparently, she had waited until the price had been reduced, not once, not twice, but three times to less than fifty percent of the original! As she and her family settled into their pew, a couple of irreverent young rascals in the bench behind her snickered. Their mother signaled vigorously to shush them. Of course, no one was brave enough to draw Mrs. de Member's attention to the advertisement, and certainly no one had thought to bring a pair of scissors, to perhaps unobtrusively snip off the wayward tag. By the end of the service, everyone within reading distance knew the price down to the penny, including GST. Mrs. de Member was not in church in the afternoon. One of the little ones had apparently developed a bad cold over the lunch hour. Alone in the pews Church attendance with one's unpredictable progeny can be a challenging, and often humbling experience. Training the young ones to sit still and listen takes weeks even months. With some more recalcitrant offspring, years. (Some never learn, but move effortlessly from embarrassing their long-suffering parents to annoying the vigilant elders, who keep a hawk's eye on the socializing teens on the balcony.) In any event, the Sunday eventually arrives when a young Dad and Mom, let's call them Jim and Jenny, feel confident enough to attend the Lord's Supper, together. After having sternly warned their young ones to behave and having left a generous supply of peppermints with the eldest to be doled out at the appropriate moment, Jim and Jenny march resolutely up the aisle to the table. The minister greets them with a smile, and they take their seats, facing him. The minister speaks, the participants listen, the bread is passed, participants chew gently and swallow unobtrusively. All is quiet in the pews. The minister speaks once more, lifts the silver carafe high and the sparkling red liquid pours in a glittering stream into one of four silver goblets. He speaks the familiar words. He passes a goblet to his right, then one to his left. At that precise moment, a shrill little voice pierces the stillness. "Amy, give me a peppermint! Mommy said we could have a peppermint when the minister poured the wine!" A titter of barely suppressed laughter ripples through the pews. Here and there a Mom and Dad give each other a knowing wink and a sympathetic nudge. Remember what it was like? Jenny rubs her nose nervously, as a red flush creeps slowly up her neck and suffuses her face. Jim rummages in his trouser pockets, retrieves a pristine white handkerchief, and surreptitiously wipes his unexpectedly perspiring brow. How did it get so hot in here, all of a sudden? Thankfully, no further audible altercations ensue. Amy must have doled out the peppermints according to plan. The wine goblet, dutifully sipped from by all, has made its way around the table, and been returned to its place in front of the minister. All are attentive to the brief meditation. The organ begins the strains of a familiar psalm. The congregation joins in. The music fades, wafting gently upward to the rafters. The minister stands and nods. The participants rise and turn toward their pews. Jim and Jenny come down the aisle, eyes averted, shoulders rigid. Quickly they find their seats. And then again that high-pitched, persistent voice. "Mommy, Amy didn't give us any peppermints, but I said she had to, 'cause you told her to." "I know dear," Jenny whispers, placing her fore finger firmly over little Jimmy's lips. "Sh-h-h! You can tell me about it later." Congregational lore Two stories. There are many more. There was the time the minister lifted the lid off the baptismal font, only to find there was no water. Or the time when there was not enough wine to go around. Or the time the minister almost forgot to serve the wine. There was the time when an elder hauled his misbehaving daughter up front to sit in the elders' bench with him. The poor minister was so taken aback, he attempted a few more sentences, and then pronounced a speedy "Amen." Grandmas have fainted. Children and even an elder reading the sermon have vomited up their breakfast and whatever else they might have eaten before church. Collection bags have been dropped; coins and candies have rolled down the aisles. Birds and bees have flown in through open windows. Conversations from consistory rooms have been overheard by whole congregations, via the minister's microphone. Bibles have dropped from balconies on unsuspecting members seated below. And the best stories become part of congregational lore. They become part of our identity and shared experience. And in a strange way, they help us to love each other better....

Life's busy, read it when you're ready!

Create a free account to save articles for later, keep track of past articles you’ve read, and receive exclusive access to all RP resources.

Search thousands of RP articles

Equipping Christians to think, speak, and act

Get Articles Delivered!

Equipping Christians to think, speak, and act delivered direct to your Inbox!

Kids

Magazine

Articles

Book Reviews

Movie Reviews

Daily devotional

More of Reformed Perspective!

Newsletter

Real Talk

Manna

About Us

Advertise

Contact Us

Shop our merch!

Articles

Book Reviews

Movie Reviews

Kids

Advertise With Us

Search CATEGORY: Being the Church

Being the Church

Older men still have a job to do

Men are not women

How we view older men

Their role

1. Temperate

2. Worthy of respect

3. Self-controlled

The same need today

Value

Conclusion

Being the Church

Christians don’t pray

Being the Church

God loves a cheerful giver

Being the Church

A principled (and practical) guide to tithing

Being the Church

Being thrifty and finding hope

Being the Church

Wise and Innocent

Being the Church

Aged saints can tell you what your peers don’t know or won’t say

Being the Church

On encouraging courage

Being the Church

Solving loneliness

Being the Church

Advice for young women … from A to Z

Being the Church

...but I have a couch

Being the Church

In the right place to serve: Christians are leading the way in helping one city’s homeless

Being the Church

Making hospitality easier: how onion dip changed the world

Being the Church

“good” vs. good

Being the Church

Hospitality hacks for folks who want to be, but keep finding excuses not to be, hospitable

Being the Church

God wants young men to be brave, not crazy

Being the Church

Quotes on the single life

Being the Church

A more generous ministry of mercy?

Being the Church

Improving the elders' home visits

Being the Church

Singleness: on being active and included in the body of Christ

Being the Church

The Christian job description

Being the Church

Maintaining the motivation of elders and deacons

Being the Church