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Tidbits – September 2024

Lord of the Rings on dating

If you’re having trouble mustering the courage to ask out the girl you’re interested in, just know you aren’t alone. Dilly-dallying when it comes to dating is common to many a man… and even a hobbit or two. As a certain Jesse Cox tweeted, in the Lord of the Rings films we see:

“… Samwise Gamgee traveled across the world and carried his best friend up a volcano in order to gain the courage to ask out a girl who was already interested in him.”

Samwise did finally get around to it, and his Rosie said yes, and they went on to have 13 kids. But hobbits live longer than we do, so if you’re going to have 13 kids too, don’t be dithering as long as Sam!

Dads rock

“If masculinity were truly toxic, then kids growing up without fathers would presumably be better off than those who have them. But they’re not.”
– Noelle Thea

I wish this guy had won

The new girls’ team?

This past election I recognized the gentleman at the door as a fellow youth league basketball coach. He was running for the public school board, so we got to talking about what he’d do when the transgenderism the government was pushing made an appearance in our small town. What would he do if a visiting girls’ basketball team included a couple of very confused guys? His answer? He’d get the guys’ team to identify as girls, just for the day, then beat the out-of-towners by a hundred or so. And, hopefully, that would put an end to that.

I’ve shared his plan with friends, and the question comes up: would it be honest? I think so, and far more honest than letting the transgender lie go unopposed. After all, no one involved in this stunt – on either team or in the stands – would think our boys are really saying they are girls. These young men would be making the exact opposite point, loudly and clearly, and be protecting our girl athletes too. If we wanted to be even more up front we could have our guys explain that they “identify as girls to the same extent that #3 and #11 on the other team are girls.” No lie there.

We can see this sort of thing in the Bible too – consider how the Prophet Nathan used an entirely fictitious scenario to have David judge his own adultery (2 Sam. 12:4). The Bible teaches (see also 1 Kings 20:27-43, not to mention Josh 2:1-7) that there is a time when a lie can serve the truth. In this high school setting the real deception is on the other side, and the proposed stunt would only expose their lie.

Last year Canadian powerlifting coach Avi Silverberg did something like this in his sport. The bearded Silverberg showed up at a women’s event, and then, according to the New York Post, he “casually bench-pressed nearly 370 pounds,” beating the previous Alberta women’s record by almost 100 pounds. And who held that record before him? A confused guy by the name of Anne Andres. Silverberg exited without explaining himself, but his point was quite clear.

Christians could do something like this and be even clearer. The problem isn’t primarily that these confused men are ruining women’s sports. The real battle is over whether God made us male and female (Gen. 1:26-27). For the sake of our confused world we need to bring them God’s clear proclamation, and not simply the half measure of someone’s common sense. Darkness is an opportunity to show the way, shining the light of the Gospel – it’s an opening for evangelism, if we take it.

Then and now

“The early church wanted to know ‘What must I do to be saved?’ Today’s church is asking, ‘What can I do and still be saved?’”
– Paul Washer

Same outfit on repeat

Author Amy Krouse Rosenthal once decided to conduct a year-long experiment that involved wearing basically the same outfit every day – a solid black top and gray pants, with the occasional black dress thrown into the mix. She had several of each, enough to make laundry easy to manage. She didn’t tell anyone about her experiment except for family and a few close friends. As she described the experiment, it seems like she didn’t even know why she was doing it. A bit of it was about how it might be freeing to never have to spend time thinking about what she would wear. But it wasn’t like she spent all that much time thinking about it in the first place. After more than six months of it, she was getting tired of her limited options, and found that “getting dressed was always easy but never pleasing.” Still, she finished off the year. And, after 12 months, here was her biggest illumination:

“No one noticed. Not one single person ever said to me, Amy, why are you wearing those same gray pants and black shirt every time I see you? This information is equal parts humbling, depressing, and liberating.”

Humbling, yes, to realize that folks aren’t paying much attention to us. But liberating, too, because it means that as embarrassed as you might have felt today, folks probably aren’t going to remember how you tripped over your own feet. Getting cut down to size can be a very good thing, so long as we remember Who really is the center of the universe, and remember too, our special status, being made in His Image (Gen 1:26-27).

Down low on the Down Under

Did you know that boomerangs are Australia’s biggest export? And they’re also their biggest import.

A poem for the upcoming election season

I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown,
And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed:
And on the pedestal these words appear:
“My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!”
No thing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.
— Percy Shelley, “Ozymandias”

Hasn’t he heard “Boy named Sue”?

“I don’t like country music, but I don’t mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means ‘put down.’”
– Bob Newhart

Best ads from the 2024 US election

Election campaign ads are too often just name-calling but every now and again they say something significant. What follows are a few of this year’s more revealing ads.

  • A Trump campaign ad highlighted how Kamala Harris has supported taxpayer-funded sex changes for prisoners. The ad’s tagline? “Kamala’s for they/them; Trump is for you.”
  • In an ad for Kamala Harris, voters were urged to vote for change: “There’s promise that lies in change, and the time for change is now… it’s time for hope, for change….” The Babylon Bee spoof of the ad wasn’t all that different: “’I will fix things if you vote me into office,‘ says woman currently in office.”
  • The Constitution Party ran an ad that pulled no punches: “… We’re reaping what we’ve sown. The blood of millions of babies cries for vengeance, and God hears their blood. We must repent as a nation to avoid the wrath of God for killing His children. That means we must stop voting for Democrats that murder babies by abortion.“
  • In a nostalgic turn, the Trump campaign shared Ronald Reagan’s closing comments from his 1980 debate with Jimmy Carter: “Are you better off than you were four years ago? Is it easier for you to go buy things in the store than it was four years ago? Is there more or less unemployment in the country than there was four years ago? Is America as respected throughout the world as it was? Do you feel that our security is as safe? That we’re as strong as we were four years ago? If you don’t think that this course that we’ve been on for the last four years is what you would like to see us follow for the next four, then I could suggest another choice that you have.”

Thermostat, not thermometer

“There was a time when the Church was very powerful – in the time when the early Christians rejoiced at being deemed worthy to suffer for what they believed. In those days the Church was not merely a thermometer that recorded the ideas and principles of popular opinion; it was a thermostat that transformed the mores of society. Whenever the early Christians entered a town, the people in power became disturbed and immediately sought to convict the Christians for being ‘disturbers of the peace’ and ‘outside agitators.’ But the Christians pressed on, in the conviction that they were ‘a colony of heaven,’ called to obey God rather than man. Small in number, they were big in commitment… By their effort and example, they brought an end to such ancient evils as infanticide and gladiatorial contests. Things are different now. So often the contemporary church is a weak, ineffectual voice with an uncertain sound….”
– Martin Luther King Jr.

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In a Nutshell

Tidbits – August 2024

English is a funny language Have you ever seen: • a shoe box? • a kitchen sink? • a ball park? • a home run? • a hot dog stand? • a picket fence? • a square dance? • a hole punch? • a horse fly? 2 AM at the same time everywhere Have you ever missed an online meeting because you’ve gotten confused about the time zones? Sure, the fellow in Ontario wants to meet at 3, but you’re in BC, so does he mean your 3 o’clock or his? And what about the guy in Australia – is his 3 your AM or PM? Turns out there is a solution to this dilemma, a time-zone-free universal clock that results in everyone’s 1 PM happening at exactly the same time, no matter country or continent. If that strikes you as odd, then consider the “universal time” we already have in place: months. Here in North America, December is a snowy month – it’s winter for us. But meanwhile in Australia, December is the middle of their summer. If we were to keep months the way we keep hours, then they should really be having a summer month like June when, halfway around the globe we are having our wintery December. That would allow us to both have wintery Decembers, which would make it a bit easier for Santa and his sleigh to land on their roofs without doing any damage to the shingles. But it would make it confusing to have to wonder what month it is in another country. So I like our universal months. Now we just need to do the same thing for our 24-hour clock so that 2 AM here is happening at the exact moment as 2 AM in China, Australia, the Netherlands and everywhere else. There is already a “Coordinated Universal Time” (with the not quite in the right order abbreviation of UTC) that’s used by airplanes. Way simpler to know when you’ll arrive if you aren’t subtracting all the time zones. Everyone around the world should have the exact same time…at exactly the same time. Then when it came time to schedule a meeting it’d be easy for everyone to know when it’s actually happening. But what about Daylight Savings Time (DST), you might ask? How would UTC work with DST? It doesn’t. But let’s all agree that Daylight Savings Time is annoying, so when we make the shift to UTC, we’ll also get rid of DST and be all the better for it. So what say you? Math that kids will like Children’s picture book author Amy Krouse Rosenthal liked to make word equations. Here are a few of her funniest: • somersaults + somersaults + somersaults = dizzy • (patience + silence) + coffee = Poetry • (patience + silence) + beer = Fishing • blaming + eye rolling ≠ sincere apology • chalk + sitting = school • chalk + jumping = hopscotch • chores ÷ everyone = family If you plant corn… I don’t know Dudley Hall, but I do like his common-sense take on Galatians 6:7: “If you plant corn you’ve given up your options about what the fruit’s going to be. If you plant corn, you’re going to get up corn. And Scripture says, ‘Be not deceived; God is not mocked. Whatever a man sows, that shall he also reap.’ “If you sow to the flesh, if you sow to your selfish desires, that’s the fruit. You go I don’t want that fruit; I want a better fruit. Well, you’ve gotta go backwards. You can’t just change the fruit. You have to go back and decide, what do I have to plant to get that?” There is no neutrality in education The Organization of American Historians proclaims itself as the “largest professional society dedicated to United States history.” But what sort of history does it teach? • Getting the Story Straight: Queering Regional Identities • Supporting Pregnant-Capable Students in Abortion-Ban States • Teaching K–12 History in an Educational Culture War: What Scholars Can Do to Strengthen Antiracist Education • Queering Work: LGBT Labor Histories Notable quotables on favoritism “The axiomatic error undermining much of Western Civilization is ‘weak makes right.’ If someone accepts, explicitly or implicitly, that the oppressed are always the good guys, then the natural conclusion is that the strong are the bad guys.” – Elon Musk “Do not follow the crowd in doing wrong. When you give testimony in a lawsuit, do not pervert justice by siding with the crowd, and do not show favoritism to a poor person in a lawsuit…. Do not deny justice to your poor people in their lawsuits…” – Exodus 23 “Comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.” – a slogan journalist William Randolph Hearst, and many journalists after him, embraced. Noble sounding, and so much so that many a pastor has claimed it as a good slogan for the mission of the Church. But the pivot point here is on who you think the afflicted are. If you believe the weak, the poor, or the various sexual and ethnic minorities are always the afflicted, and if you’ve already decided Christians, or men, or the rich, are always the comfortable, then it isn’t such a good slogan after all. How many? With our long-lasting LED lightbulbs I wonder if the “how many ____s does it take to screw in a lightbulb?” jokes might go the way of all those old “how many _____s does it take to switch out a buggy wheel?” quips. You sure don’t hear those anymore! So, before they all go dim, here are some of the best bulb bits. How many… • …babysitters does it take to change a lightbulb? None – they don’t make Pampers that small. • Appliance sales men? Just one, but for this week and this week only. • Folk musicians? One to screw it in, and one to complain that it’s electric. • Evolutionists? None – they are sure that it’ll just happen if you give it enough time. • Skateboarders? One, but it’ll take him 100 tries. • Optimists? One, and he doesn’t need a lightbulb – he knows the old one is just screwed in too tightly. • Pessimists? None – they won’t bother, because they’re sure the wiring’s shot too. • How many real men? None. Real men aren’t scared of the dark. Going all Philippians 4:8 on sports In Dean Register’s Minister’s Manual he tells a story about a pastor, Leith Anderson, who grew up as an avid fan of the Brooklyn Dodgers. One year his father took him to a World Series game where his beloved Dodgers were playing their hated cross-town rivals, the New York Yankees. Anderson was sure his Dodgers were going to win, but he was bitterly disappointed when they never even got on base and lost the game 2-0. Years later Anderson had an opportunity to share his World Series experience with another avid baseball fan. “It was such a disappointment,” he told the man, “the Dodgers never even got to base.” “You mean you were actually there?” the man asked in amazement. “You were there when the Yankees’ Don Larsen pitched the only perfect game in World Series history? That must have been amazing!” Anderson had been so wrapped up in the rivalry that he missed out on appreciating the most dominating pressure-packed pitching performance ever displayed in the baseball finals! Sportsmanship at its core is about remembering that the guys on the other team are our opponents, not our enemies – fellow human beings made in God’s image. Recognizing that won’t cut into our intensity, but should cut down on our cross-checks. While we’re always going to cheer on our hometown, if we eliminate the hate we’ll also be able to appreciate a brilliant performance by the other team’s guy. Educational viewing? “All television is educational television, the only question is, What is it teaching?” – Nicholas Johnson Saying “I love you” A woman in an adult creative-writing class didn’t quite know what to make of her homework assignment. She had to write different ways to say “I love you,” each of which had to be 25 words or less, and they couldn’t include the word “love.” After she spent ten minutes scratching her head, the woman’s husband came up behind her and started massaging her shoulders. As he loosened up her shoulders and neck she was finally able to start writing. Here is what she submitted to her instructor: • “I’ll get up and see what that noise was.” • “It looks good on you, but you look even better in the red top.” • “Cuddle up – I’ll get your feet warm.” SOURCE: Adapted from joke in the February 1990 Reader’s Digest submitted by Charlotte Mortimer Standing up for the unborn here, there, and everywhere! “If we speak in church, we’re told it’s too political; if we speak in the political arena, we’re told it’s too religious. If we speak in the media we’re told it’s too disturbing; in the educational realm, it’s too disruptive. On the public streets, it’s too distressing for children; in the business world it’s too controversial, in the family, too divisive, and in a social setting it’s just impolite. “So if abortion is wrong, where do we go to say so? The answer is that we have to stop looking for a risk-free place to fight abortion, and speak up in all those arenas. Let’s stop counting the cost for ourselves if we speak up, and start counting the cost for them if we are silent. The pro-life movement does not need a lot of people; it needs people who are willing to take a lot of risk.” – Roman Catholic priest Frank Pavone speaking against those who say they are pro-life, but object to the issue of abortion being raised in a particular “arena.”...