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Tidbits – December 2021

Seasonal dad joke

When a hotel sponsored a chess tournament they held it in their main lobby. That was a mistake, as it turned out the players did a lot of loud trash-talking, and no one really likes “chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.”
– adapted from a joke winding its way around the Internet

I guess fossils do bleed

There once was a man who was convinced he was dead. His doctor tried everything to convince him otherwise, but the man remained sure that he was dead. Then the doctor had an idea. He asked, “Do dead men bleed?” The man pondered the question for a few moments. “Well doctor, dead men haven’t got any circulation so they could hardly bleed now, could they?” The doctor then pulled out a pin and pricked the man’s finger. “You’re bleeding – what do you have to say about that?” The astonished man looked down at his finger and exclaimed: “Well what do you know? I guess dead men do bleed!”

It’s an old joke, breathed new life when, in 1997, scientist Mary Schweitzer discovered what seemed to be red blood cells in inside a fossilized T. Rex leg bone that had been dated as 68 million years old. Creationists celebrated the find and evolutionary paleontologists tried to discredit it, both, for the same reason. The two sides agreed that 68 million year old dinosaur bones simply don’t “bleed” – all such soft tissue would have been long ago degraded if the bones were really that old. Creationists knew this was evidence that dinosaurs roamed the Earth mere thousands of years ago, not millions, and that’s why these red cells had survived. Evolutionists, trying to discredit the find, speculated that the cells were from a recent contamination of the fossil, that they were part of a biofilm that had grown on it recently. But further research by Schweitzer, published in 2012, has made it harder and harder to deny that traces of soft tissue can be found in dinosaur fossils.

So are evolutionists ready to concede the fossils aren’t as old as they claim? Not at all. Instead, Mary Schweitzer has many of her critics now saying, “Well what do you know? I guess 68 million-year-old dino bones do bleed!”

The Apostle Paul on pretty

Blogger Wil Ramsey on the shallowness of us menfolk:

“Sometimes when people tell me how pretty their girlfriends are, I think I kinda know what Paul felt like when he was talking about tongues. I’m like, ‘Dude, not only is pretty the lowest of gifts a girl can have, and not only is she not as pretty as she is kind and compassionate and selfless and other things that are important, but my girlfriend is still better looking than yours.’”

On using words

“Telepathy in marriage doesn’t work any better than it does anywhere else”
– Douglas Wilson in For a Glory and a Covering

…and that’s theistic evolution

Three geologists were standing at the foot of Mount Rushmore staring upwards. “The faces we see here of these four US Presidents certainly must be the work of a Master Sculptor!” said the first.

To this, the second geologist sneered: “You call yourself a geologist? We investigate how natural causes form mountains and rocks – causes like volcanoes, plate movement, and erosion from water and wind. That’s science. So let’s get to work and figure out how these faces were formed through the forces of geophysics.”

The third geologist nodded in agreement. “Of course, you’re right. That’s the only way to do good science.” Then he turned to the first geologist and added, “Clearly no Master Sculptor carved these faces, but I’m sure He enjoyed watching what the wind and water could do.”
–  adapted from a joke winding its way around the Internet.

Dat is Dutch?

A Canadian lass who married a Dutchman and is now living in the Netherlands has had some fun getting acquainted with Dutch culture. She is using her blog to both celebrate and mock “Stuff Dutch People Like.” Of the 60+ items she lists some are predictable – bicycles, hagelslag, the color orange – but there was also a handful of items that don’t seem particularly Dutch…except upon reflection.

  • #4 Directness – Apparently in some cultures they don’t like being told when they “couldn’t be wronger.”
  • #10 Birthday congratulations –  Is it really only the Dutch who congratulate the birthday boy’s brother, or the birthday girl’s aunt?
  • #18 Bringing your own cake – We’re accused of being cheap, but no one else brings treats to work for their birthday.
  • #24 Dairy + #41 Being tall – The Dutch are among the tallest people on earth, and among the most avid consumers of dairy. Coincidence?
  • #25: Going camping – There’s a reason everyone you know loves camping.
  • #34: “Dat kan niet” – This is negative, opinionated and popular phrase is used to end discussions in the Netherlands. There is no equivalent phrase in North America, but the attitude behind it does seem familiar.
  • #37: The Birthday Calendar – A handy little device that is unknown in other cultures, but now been co-opted by Facebook.

Stranger danger

“My family has an unwritten rule: if you wouldn’t spend time with someone in real life, then don’t let them into your living room via the television set either. It seems simple, but these days we’re not just letting these people into our living rooms, we’re letting them right into our kids’ bedrooms.”
– Glenn Beck

Good point

G.K. Chesteton once wrote: “The word ‘good’ has many meanings. For example, if a man were to shoot his mother at a range of five hundred yards, I should call him a good shot, but not necessarily a good man.”

Pop is pretty important

Randy Patten believes you can’t overstate the importance of the father’s role in raising good kids. At an Association of Certified Biblical Counselors (ACBC) conference some years ago, the pastor illustrated this point by telling his audience about an initiative a greeting card company tried at a prison near their printing plant. They offered inmates a choice of cards to send to their mothers for Mother’s Day. The cards would be free and the greeting card company would even pay the postage. The response from the inmates was so enthusiastic the company representative had to go back to the plant to get more cards.

This success prompted the company to make the same offer for Father’s Day. But this time they didn’t get even a single response – no one took them up on the offer. Almost to a man these inmates loved their mothers but none of them seemed to have any sort of positive relationship with their fathers.


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In a Nutshell

Tidbits – November 2021

Chesterton on whether love is blind  The world tells us that we shouldn't try to change those we love, that if we really love them then we will be able to look past their faults. Love, we are told, is blind. G.K. Chesterton knew better. As he explained in Orthodoxy: "Love is not blind; that is the last thing it is. Love is bound; and the more it is bound the less it is blind." If we love only because we believe our spouse to be perfect, then what will happen when their faults are found out? That sort of "love" will fall to pieces. But if there is commitment – if the two are bound tightly as one – then there is no need for blindness. Then we can acknowledge our flaws, and as a couple work together to fight them. In love, we can help one another's sanctification. Bound is so much better than blind. "...if I can find the time" Harry Chapin was a one-hit-wonder with his 1974 top-of-the-charts single Cat's in the Cradle. That makes it an oldie, but one that continues to resonate with non-Christians; this song is a soundtrack staple for many recent sitcoms. This cautionary tale is also worth a listen for the many busy men in our churches. My child arrived just the other day He came to the world in the usual way But there were planes to catch and bills to pay He learned to walk while I was away And he was talkin' 'fore I knew it, and as he grew He'd say "I'm gonna be like you dad You know I'm gonna be like you"  My son turned ten just the other day He said, "Thanks for the ball, Dad, come on let's play Can you teach me to throw", I said "Not today I got a lot to do," he said, "That's ok" And he walked away but his smile never dimmed And said, "I'm gonna be like him, yeah You know I'm gonna be like him" Well, he came home from college just the other day So much like a man I just had to say "Son, I'm proud of you, can you sit for a while?" He shook his head and said with a smile "What I'd really like, Dad, is to borrow the car keys See you later, can I have them please?" I've long since retired, my son's moved away I called him up just the other day I said, "I'd like to see you if you don't mind" He said, "I'd love to, Dad, if I can find the time You see my new job's a hassle and kids have the flu But it's sure nice talking to you, Dad It's been sure nice talking to you"  And as I hung up the phone it occurred to me He'd grown up just like me My boy was just like me Weird fact of the month Identical twins have exactly the same DNA…but different fingerprints. Every year God reaches out Genesis 22 is a strange chapter – in it God seems to ask Abraham for a human sacrifice, Abraham’s son Isaac. But have you ever considered how much stranger this chapter would be to a Jew? On an edition of the old CNN talk show Larry King Live, Jewish Rabbi Harold Kushner was asked for his thoughts about this chapter and he couldn’t provide an explanation: “The story of Genesis chapter 22 about the command to sacrifice Isaac is one I have never really been happy with. I’m sorry that we read about it every year at the High Holidays because I can never make sense of it….no, I don’t know what to do about that story…” Fortunately, another guest on the show, Protestant pastor John MacArthur, was there to provide a proper explanation: “I think the reason that, if all you accept is the Old Testament, you have a problem with this story of Isaac is because the story of Isaac is a picture of God giving his son Jesus Christ as an offering for sin.” We Christians can understand this passage as a foreshadowing of what was to come, and can see how God offered up what Abraham was never required to – His Son. But to a Jew this passage is inexplicable, and yet every year on the High Holy Day of Rosh Hashonah Jews read this passage aloud and ponder it. Of all the passages they could read, the one they do read every year, year after year, again and again, is a passage that makes no sense outside of Christ. Our God is a loving God. Have to be crazy to hate kids Since 1965, the world’s fertility rate – the number of births per woman – has dropped from an average of 5, to just 2.4. The United States and Canada come in at just 1.7, and 1.5 respectively, which is below replacement level – anything below 2 will eventually lead to a declining population, as two parents having 1.5 children are half a child short from replacing themselves. Immigration to the West will keep us from a population drop in the short term, but so long as Canadians and Americans prioritize their careers, income, and independence over the having of children, a decline is inevitable. That is both a curse for our country and an opportunity for Christians. If we act contra mundum – against the world – and embrace children as the blessing they are, we could present quite the illuminating contrast. But that would necessitate a change in our own priorities. Sure, Reformed couples are having more children than their secular counterparts, but are there as many 12-passenger vans in the church parking as there used to be? “While pro-abortion liberals are pushing the abortion and contraception wagon, Christian conservatives with their large families could dominate the culture in a generation or two if they believe and act in terms of ‘In God We Trust.’” – Gary DeMar “Those who have no love for children are swine, stocks and logs unworthy of being called men and women; for they despise the blessing of God the Creator and Author of marriage” – Martin Luther “When we had two kids, people began to ask ‘Are you done now?’ When we had three, they began to say ‘You are done now. Right?’ When we had four, some folks began to be rude. ‘Don't you know what causes this?’ When we had five, we faced the most reproach from folks. They could not wrap their minds around how we could be responsible adults when we demonstrated such an obvious lack of self-control. When we had number six, people mostly shut their mouths. When we had number seven, it was more raised eyebrows, but still silence. When we had number eight, it has been open-mouthed astonishment, over and over. And many admiring and incredulous questions, the most common one being ‘What?!? I only have two kids, and they are driving me crazy!’ I have been told this so many times that I have come to the conclusion that having two kids is the hardest job in the world.” – Jamie Soles Quote of the month "I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else." – C.S. Lewis...


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