What would King Solomon do?
A policeman arrested two men and confiscated a pair of loaded dice. In court, each man accused the other of owning the dice.
“Constable,” said the magistrate, “did you take these dice without a warrant?” The policeman nodded sheepishly. “You had no right to,” said the magistrate. “Give them back immediately.”
One culprit stuck out his hand to retrieve the dice. The magistrate promptly sentenced him to three months and freed the other.
SOURCE: Based on a joke from “The Bedside Book of Laughter, with jokes selected from Reader’s Digest”
Why parents have to be teachers
Our grandparents never had to be taught that homosexuality was wrong, or that there are just two genders. Now those two points are cultural battlegrounds. But are we, as parents, actively engaged in this fight? Two telling quotes, below, illustrate why we need to teach our children what God has said on these subjects, and more, and not simply assume they understand.
“One generation believes something. The next assumes it. And the third will forget and deny it.” – D.A. Carson
“What one generation tolerates, the next generation will embrace.” – commonly attributed to John Wesley
Penguins are super cool!
Did you know Emperor Penguins can hold their breath for as long as 18 minutes, and fast for up to 115 days waiting for their eggs to hatch?
The devil in stocking feet
A friend recently shared an expression his grandfather used to say: in a compromising Christian school “the devil walks around in stocking feet” while in the public school “he walks around in wooden shoes.” His point? The public school’s dismissal of God is a heresy easy to spot, but a compromised Christian school might cover over their errors with out-of-context Bible verses, making them hard to discern. That had this gentleman more worried about children being sent to that sort of “Christian” school than to the obviously unchristian public school.
Thankfully, many of us have option #3: an uncompromisingly Christian school.
Pops top profs
“One father is more than a hundred schoolmasters.”
– George Herbert
C.S. Lewis on being far too easily pleased
“If you asked twenty good men today what they thought the highest of the virtues, nineteen of them would reply, Unselfishness. But if you had asked almost any of the great Christians of old, he would have replied, Love.
“You see what has happened? A negative term has been substituted for a positive, and this is of more than philological importance. The negative idea of Unselfishness carries with it the suggestion not primarily of securing good things for others, but of going without them ourselves, as if our abstinence and not their happiness was the important point. I do not think this is the Christian virtue of Love.
“The New Testament has lots to say about self-denial, but not about self-denial as an end in itself. We are told to deny ourselves and to take up our crosses in order that we may follow Christ; and to nearly every description of what we shall ultimately find if we do so contains an appeal to desire.
“If there lurks in most modern minds the notion that to desire our own good and to earnestly hope for the enjoyment of it is a bad thing, I suggest that this notion has crept in from Kant and the Stoics and is no part of the Christian faith. Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that our Lord finds our desires, not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling around with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”
– “The Weight of Glory” in the Weight of Glory
An original sin
Three-year-old Linda watched excitedly as her visiting aunt unpacked her suitcase. The little girl was waiting eagerly for the present she knew was coming. At long last two bouncy balls were produced, one green, the other yellow.
“One is for you, and one for your brother Timmy,” her aunt explained. “Which would you like?”
Quick as a wink Linda replied, “I want Timmy’s”
SOURCE: Based on a joke from “The Bedside Book of Laughter, with jokes selected from Reader’s Digest”