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Education

Thriving at a non-Christian university?

You can be blessed, and be a blessing, at a secular college ***** When Gillian, a 21-year-old from Langley, BC, talks about her love for art, her face lights up. Throughout high school she saw art as a way to glorify God and use her talents, so when it was time to make post-secondary plans, she decided to pursue a visual arts degree at the University of the Fraser Valley (UFV). However, it didn’t take long for her to realize that the program wasn’t for her. She describes walking into the hallway of her building at UFV and seeing a large, irreverent parody of Michelangelo’s famous “Creation of Adam,” now filled with LGBTQ imagery. Art here was not about glorifying God; it was about “how we’ll break the status quo.” With no Christian friends in her classes, and the culture shock of her new environment, Gillian also felt very alone on campus. “It just wasn’t good for my personal and faith life,” she says, adding that the experience – including recognizing the negative impacts – was still a beneficial time of growth for her. Gillian finished her term, then took some time to reconsider her options and try out a few jobs. She says these were valuable months of figuring out what she did and didn’t want to do. One thing she concluded was that she still wanted to do something creative. As she explored different programs and talked to different people, she was intrigued by commercial interior design. Happily, she was accepted into the interior design program at the British Columbia Institute of Technology (BCIT), which has turned out to be a much better fit. She enjoys the work, as well as the more professional environment: “People talk about their career plans, not their pronouns.” When she reflects on her post-secondary journey, she advises younger students to know what they’re getting into: “Know the bias of your chosen faculty or department.” She recommends talking to other Christians who have gone through a program you’re considering. And when you’re on campus, she suggests searching for a Christian club to join, and making the most of what they offer. As well, she says, don’t lose touch with your church and Christian school friends: “You have to hang onto them.” A good fit? As Gillian discovered, one secular university or faculty may not be a good place for a particular student while another program may be a great fit. Non-Christian universities have their own challenges for young Christians, but they can also be places where Christians can be blessed and be a blessing. So why might someone choose a secular college or university – and what might their experiences be like? How can their time at a non-Christian institution be beneficial for them, and a blessing to their neighbors? And how can they thrive there? I asked a number of current and former students for their thoughts. Making the choice For many, the choice of school was based largely on very practical considerations: cost, location, or acceptance into a particular program. Non-Christian colleges are significantly less expensive to attend than Christian ones, and chances are there’s one close by. James, a recent nursing graduate from the University of Northern BC, chose his school because of the generous scholarship he received, as well as its location in Prince George, BC – a town with a good Reformed church, and with a manageable cost of living, that is only a few hours away from his hometown of Smithers. Amy, his younger sister, opted to try out the University of the Fraser Valley (UFV), where she could live with her grandparents and attend one of the many local Reformed churches. The smaller campus and smaller class sizes of UFV also appealed to her. Luke, a young articling student in Edmonton, AB, chose the University of Alberta so he could live at home during his studies and save money (“Thanks, Mom and Dad”) and stay connected to his Christian friend group. U of A was also a “top 5” university in Canada, so he felt it would be a good place for his personal and professional development as he pursued his law studies. While most of the students I talked to cited considerations such as cost, convenience, and alignment with career goals, they also all noted that proximity to a solid church remained an important factor. Mixed experiences So what was it like for these students, many of whom had attended a Christian school and lived largely within a Reformed community their whole life? Experiences, both socially and academically, were mixed. Emily, a young physiotherapist who grew up in the small, largely Reformed town of Lynden, Washington, found tolerance and respect among her classmates at the Okanagan campus of the University of British Columbia (UBCO) – but also some real hostility from her dormmates. She formed some close connections with her fellow human kinetics students: “Even though we were quite the blend of upbringings and backgrounds, we respected each other’s differences and it was in these times that I got to speak about my faith and answer their questions, without being attacked or ridiculed.” At the same time, she found it difficult to be the only “church girl” on her dorm floor. “There is a difference between living among unbelievers and living with unbelievers. I was accused of being a ‘hater’ yet teased about ‘being the good girl who went to church.’ Home (my dorm) was no longer a safe space like it was growing up; now it was a spiritual warzone. And yet this experience was one of the best things that happened to me. This taught me how to defend my faith – when to do it and how to do it – with people I lived with.” Ben, who is studying criminology at Simon Fraser University in Vancouver, has found that the social sciences are a tough place to express Christian viewpoints. He says there’s lots of “anti-Christian rhetoric” in fields like psychology and sociology; “Christians are the number-one bad guys.” And although there are several small conservative groups on campus (made up largely of Christians), he says they don’t feel particularly welcome there; Ben mentions that any pro-life or anti-pornography materials that the groups post are very quickly ripped down. James, at the University of Northern BC, didn’t find as much overt hostility to Christianity in his classes, but did soon notice that his Christian worldview and values were an exception on campus. He remembers a first-year English professor who repeatedly used “very explicit” writing samples in his teaching; week after week, “I would sit there, quietly and awkwardly,” James remembers wryly. Eventually James gathered up his courage and talked to the professor about it during office hours. “I explained that the examples made me uncomfortable, and could he tone them down a bit?” James says that the professor was “surprised, but receptive. He apologized and promised to change his examples. He was a nice guy, actually.” As Sam, who is completing a history major/English minor degree at UFV with a view to teaching, notes, how much conflict you encounter is partly up to you. “A debate will only break out if you spark a debate.” There may be times to (constructively) stick out your neck, like James did, and other times when you need to consider your response carefully. “There are times to refuse being drawn into silly questions, which Paul told Timothy to avoid,” says Emily, citing 2 Timothy 2, “yet times to answer, but with gentleness, so that might have a chance to come to know the truth.” More and more difficult? Is it harder to be a Christian on a non-Christian campus now than it was ten or twenty years ago? Harma-Mae, a regular RP contributor who completed a history degree in 2013, reflects on the ideological shifts that have taken place in the last few decades: “When I was in school there was a good amount of postmodernism (i.e., there are many perspectives and we can’t tell which one is true, or if there even is any truth), which seemed to result in many perspectives being allowed to be shared and voiced, as long as it was just another perspective. So there were times when I could say what my perspective was. Now I think there is much more tolerance for censorship – it seems to be allowed to view some perspectives as wrong, though they would probably be called ‘harmful’ rather than wrong. Which means that a young person today would face different challenges than what faced!” Secular vs. Christian colleges When I was a student, there was a saying in our church community that the devil wore “klompen” (those noisy wooden shoes that the Dutch are, apparently, so fond of) at the public universities, but snuck around in “stocking feet” at the local evangelical Christian one. The point wasn’t so much to disparage Christian institutions as to acknowledge the different, more subtle dangers and attacks against their faith that young people might encounter at such places. There’s something straightforward about attending a secular university. You know that you won’t agree with a lot of what you hear; you’re on your guard; you take what’s useful, but don’t particularly expect to find your new best friends or a community where you’ll belong. As Harma-Mae puts it, “I preferred to be taught from a secular perspective because I found it more tiring to try to evaluate Christian teaching I didn’t agree with. It was easier for me to assume I disagreed and figure out where there might be some truth poking through rather than hearing things that sounded kind of right but something was off.” Emily echoed some of these thoughts, pointing out that it’s easier to spot the “counterfeit” truth at a secular university, where it’s often so much more obviously wrong. Whether you choose a Christian or secular university, of course, it’s important to keep the bigger picture in mind of why you’re there and what your primary goal and purpose is. I love how Ben put it: “Your number one goal in life is not to get an education and get a good job, but to live as a Christian in this world” – wherever God has put you right now. Maturing in your faith Grappling with your faith, and having it challenged, is also an important part of maturing as a Christian – and preparing for life as a Christian in a world that won’t always appreciate your beliefs. This may not be why you’d choose a secular college, but it is something that many students appreciate as they look back. “Seeing your worldview challenged serve to strengthen your faith and belief,” comments Crystal, who studied English and creative writing at UBC. “When you see how broken the world is, and how flawed many accepted ideas are, it only points to how much better God’s way is.” James felt it was useful to get outside his somewhat sheltered community, and understand some different perspectives better. “It’s easy to miss nuances” until you’re up close to those who are different from you, he says. “Knowledge is very different than experience,” Sam adds. “It’s very important to... know the other side well.” “I feel like I was taught to view ‘the world’ as a scary place as I grew up in the Canadian Reformed bubble,” says Harma-Mae, “and that I did need to get outside that bubble and learn to talk to other people who were not the same as me, and learn how to live in the world as a Christian, face that fear.” Ben comments on how his time at Simon Fraser University has led him to depend on and appreciate his Bible more, and to learn to “exercise spirit of discernment,” while Luke found that the challenges of university life helped him learn “to trust in the Lord at all times, God has a plan for our lives. University allowed me to grow.” Asia, who recently completed a Bachelor of Science at the University of Alberta, reflects on how university was good for her growth not only spiritually, but in many areas: “I learned a lot about myself and what practical life skills I was good at or needed more practice in (e.g., my time management, how I handled high-stress situations, the best way I learn, my communication skills, work-life balance, how the views/opinions of secular students and professors affected me, my ability to shine as a light on campus). I think I’ve grown up a lot since I graduated high school and I attribute a significant part of that change to four years of university.” Of course, the same challenges to their faith that may lead to growth for some – as they learn to defend their Christian worldview and really learn to trust God – can cause others to stumble. That’s why the solid foundation of a good church with which you’re connected, regular time for Bible study and prayer, and relationships with strong Christian friends, family members, and others are so vital. You can withstand the storms of a secular post-secondary experience, and even come out stronger for them – but not if you try to go it alone go it alone ("a three-fold cord is not quickly broken," as Eccl. 4:12 puts it).  As well, everything that happens before you head off for college – the training you receive at home, church, and school for the first eighteen years or your life – should give you a firm foundation. As Emily puts it, and as she experienced it herself, “Both the church and home are training grounds to expand and increase a child’s knowledge in their faith ... needing to know what you believe and why.” Salt and light Students also shouldn’t underestimate the value of their Christian presence and witness on campus. You may be intimidated by the idea of debating your faith, but you can start by simply being “the Christian who, just like me, has the cross around their neck, and maybe someone will ask you ,” says Sam. As Harma-Mae relates, “I was often surprised by how open people on campus were at having conversations about faith ... I think university is a time of life where people are often searching and also curious about other perspectives – at least in one-on-one conversations.” If we really believe that “every square inch” of this world is God’s, then we can’t abandon any of it – including our local universities with their many lost and confused young people. And in our increasingly secular society, you may be the first or only Christian some of your fellow students interact with in a meaningful way. Choosing wisely To gain the benefits and avoid the biggest pitfalls of a secular university experience, it’s important to choose your school and program wisely. Several students I talked to said they “wouldn’t bother” taking an arts or social science degree at most secular universities, because the ideological biases can be so insurmountable. Others recommended researching programs and even individual classes and professors before signing up, and talking to other recent and current students. Amy, from Smithers, BC, found it very helpful to visit multiple campuses before making post-secondary plans. Groups from her school regularly come down to the Fraser Valley to check out different institutions, and she made such a trip in eleventh grade. She comments on the very different “vibe” she got from UFV, where she is now pursuing a sales and marketing certificate, versus at the very liberal Simon Fraser University; she felt she would be comfortable at the former, but not at the latter. Thriving on campus When I asked current and former students about their tips for thriving on campus, they were unanimous on the point that staying connected to your church community and Christian friends is absolutely vital. James remembers gratefully how the Prince George congregation supported him and kept him grounded during his years at the University of Northern BC, when he was exposed to so many new things and, in his field of nursing, saw so much brokenness up close; “there was lots to process.” He says the church was very welcoming to students, and he enjoyed the strong Bible study and lots of good discussions. “That was my community – not the college,” he explains. Staying connected to a church like that is key, he says – especially if you’re living away from home – and having one nearby should be a determining factor when you’re considering a university. Emily strongly agrees. As she faced hostility and confrontation in her dorm, “the church was now my only ‘safe space’ – how beautiful, actually. It gave me a different perspective on how the church is a sanctuary, a place to be spiritually nourished and refreshed after a long week living in the trenches.” Pastors, elders, and mentors in the church prayed for her and helped her continue to learn and grow in her faith; in her weekly Bible studies, she could even practice answering questions like “‘can God be a loving God when people suffer? How are we saved? How can you believe in Christianity when there’s no science to prove it; I believe in science and you don’t?’ ... On that note, we prayed for the Holy Spirit to give me the words and the wisdom for when to say it.” “You cannot do it without a local church and church family,” she concludes, adding, “Even if you’re going to stay in your local church and commute to/from campus, be prepared. Living in dorms or not, start practicing defending your faith in your home and church now. We know the world asks us difficult questions – and some of them are out to kill.” “It’s good to have some people you look up to in your church that you can discuss challenges you are facing as a Christian at university,” Luke adds. Asia reflects on the need to be on your guard constantly in a secular educational environment. “I wasn’t used to having my ‘spiritual armor’ on all the time because in high school I was with a good group of friends that generally encouraged me in my faith. I quickly realized when I started university that I had to actively make sure I was in the Word.” Sam notes the value of having Christian friends on campus, as does Ben, though he has found that if you join a Christian club, you still need to be discerning. “Many are letting their education and the culture impact how they interpret the Bible, instead of vice versa.” They key is to “know your Bible inside out,” he says, so you’ll also “know when the things of the world are influencing you, and not the other way around.” Sam agrees with that as well. “Realize that when you are going to a secular university you are going to come across people who disagree with you, but... just because someone disagreed with you doesn’t mean you can’t have an open conversation with them.” He adds, “Get your values straight. Understand your faith. Don’t just follow the book on arguments; bring your own. Figure it out yourself.” Flourishing in exile Daunting? Perhaps. But also a chance to grow, to mature, to prepare yourself for whatever mission God gives you in this life. As well, attending a secular university may give you a chance to make a real impact. As Crystal notes, “In order to have more influence on the world, we actually have to participate in the world, and having more voices can only be a good thing.” The world needs Christian nurses and welders and security guards, salespeople and librarians and social workers. And its campuses need Christians who are willing and able to “speak the truth in love” and show what it looks like to live with gospel hope and meaning. And, really, why should we be afraid? We have the God of truth behind us – and He is certainly able to bless us, and make us a blessing, wherever He puts us....

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Education

I’m graduating – now what?

You’re a high school senior; you’ve worked hard from kindergarten through 12th grade, and now you’re almost ready to graduate. You’re a little tired of being asked by friends and relatives: What are your plans after high school? You know they mean well, and are genuinely curious about your next steps, but you can’t answer them, because you just don’t know! I was once in your shoes, and I’d like to help you make fewer mistakes than I made as I muddled my way through the morass of post-secondary schooling and different job opportunities, before finding the right path for me. I stumbled, and I muddled, but am grateful that the Lord provided in all circumstances. What direction? When I was your age, most young folks who showed interest or aptitude inside the classroom were encouraged to pursue a university degree, for two main reasons. First, most people believed that to be able to provide well for your family, you needed a college or university degree to get the kind of job that would generate a reasonable income. Second, many Reformed Christians believed that we as the children and grandchildren of immigrants needed to have more influence on the academic and professional culture of North America. Therefore, it would be good if more Christian young people obtained undergraduate and graduate degrees. Have things changed since my high school graduation in 1986? In a word: yes. A college or university degree remains a necessity for some professions, and a helpful résumé addition for many others. But you can go without and still generate an income that will allow you to support your family, your church, and your community. If you have a specific plan that requires a degree – if you want to become a lawyer, or a minister, or a teacher – then university is your path. But what if you’re not sure? Don’t be a Logan Consider this fairly common scenario for two young Canadian students. Good buddies Logan and Josh both got pretty good grades at school, although Logan didn’t have to work very hard to get them, thanks to his good memory. He even qualified for a scholarship to McMaster University that enabled him to get reduced tuition! Josh and Logan both enjoyed working in the summers for a small local company, Boomtown Builders, doing small renovations and building decks, learning from their boss how to build efficiently and safely. Offered an opportunity, Josh decided that he would stay on full time at Boomtown after high school graduation. Logan was looking forward to his new university life at McMaster. But there were a couple of problems: Logan didn’t really know what he should study, and he hadn’t really learned how to study – in high school, he had rarely needed to crack open the books in the evenings. But of course, this was all about to change. In order to find his way, Logan took general courses in English, History, Biology and Calculus – he would have time to declare a major later. But with no one to look over his shoulder and remind him to get his assignments in on time, and without a clear direction and target to inspire him, Logan started to fall behind. Feeling behind the curve, he started to skip classes. Not going to classes meant he was ill-prepared for quizzes and tests, and he didn’t hand in some of his assignments. At the end of his second semester, Logan had failed two courses, and his marks were so poor overall that he lost his scholarship and would have to pay full tuition the following school year. Will Logan end up going back for his second year, or has he just wasted ten months and thousands of dollars? Meanwhile Josh was taking on more responsibility at Boomtown, even running a small job on his own so the company could take on a few more projects. With the boss’s encouragement, Josh enrolled in a college course on estimating, so that he could help out on that side of the growing business. His responsibilities grew, and his income grew, and Josh became a very valuable member of Boomtown Builders, with a promising future. In this simple story, Logan wasted his time and treasure by not working hard, and Josh made good progress and established a healthy direction for his life by applying his skills and working diligently. Had Logan just worked hard, attended classes, and applied himself, perhaps he also would have charted a path towards a successful career. But by enrolling at university without a clear target and direction, Logan ended up spinning his wheels ineffectively. It might have been far better for him to work a year at Boomtown to find out more about what he was good at, and what he enjoyed, before deciding on a target, and how to get there. Have a plan In Proverbs 21:5, Solomon reminds us “The plans of the diligent lead surely to abundance, but everyone who is hasty comes only to poverty.” Earlier, in chapter 19, he advises “Listen to advice, and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future.” There are many resources available to high school students to help you make a plan for your post-secondary life. Your school has guidance counselors who would be glad to make you aware of opportunities that may suit your skills. Your parents, your uncles and aunts, and grandparents all might encourage you in different directions. The next time they ask you, “What are you going to do after high school?” you can ask them what they think you should do! You can’t follow everyone’s advice, but you can certainly listen and reflect on what those who know you well give you as counsel (Prov. 1:8-9). By the end of your high school years, you’ll probably have worked part time, or during the summers, with different employers. These job experiences can be hugely valuable in discovering your skills, your interests, and what long-term prospects are like in these fields. Whatever your current job is, work diligently and industriously for the benefit of your employer and their customers. On your breaks and at lunch time, ask lots of questions to your boss and your co-workers, especially about what this business needs to be even more successful. What kind of talents are needed there, and what kind of education or training might one need to fill the areas of need? Even if you determine that the type of work you did as a student isn’t something you would want as a career, you haven’t wasted your time. The experience will leave you more determined to find an occupation that you enjoy, and more motivated if you do enter college or a trade school to push through to get your qualifications: “I know I don’t want to do that, so I’ll work extra hard to chart out a different path!” Knowing how hard a restaurant server works, or how difficult it can be to work construction on a cold winter’s day will also help you gain appreciation for your neighbors who do labor in these occasionally thankless fields. Consider the cost! In Luke 14:28-29, Jesus says: “For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it? Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who see it will mock him.” It’s a basic principle in life, also echoed often in the book of Proverbs: have a plan, and count your costs up front! Before enrolling at a college, trade school, or university, you should carefully consider how much your certification will cost, and how you will pay for your years of schooling. One financial analyst recommends that a student spend no more on tuition and books over the course of their schooling than how much they could expect to make in their first year of employment in that profession. As an example, if a newly certified teacher could be expected to earn $45,000 in his first year of teaching, then he should find a way to spend less than $45,000 in educational expenses to earn his degree. This is just a general guideline, not a hard and fast rule, but it may give you some direction for a reasonable and prudent budget as you begin your studies. It is even more important to consider how you will pay for your degree. In the United States, it is very common for young people to borrow over $120,000 to obtain a four-year degree, and lenders have made it very easy for them to get these loans. According to Statistics Canada’s latest numbers in 2020, on average, Canadians graduating with an undergraduate degree have $30,000 in student loan debt, and will take an average of eight years to pay off these debts. Avoid the debt trap The Bible has warnings against becoming indebted, at one point comparing debt to becoming a slave: “The rich rules over the poor, and the borrower is a slave of the lender” (Prov. 22:7). For many, student loan debt is a trap, easy to fall into and hard to get free of, so I would strongly advise against borrowing to pay for your degree. If you find yourself short of your first-year tuition, perhaps you need to work for a year full time before starting school again. Count on working part time during the school year, and full time during breaks between semesters. Yes, homework takes time, and studying requires many hours: that is why it’s great to get your degree while you are young and have the energy and focus that may be more difficult as you take on more responsibilities later in life. Living at home and commuting to school can have a huge impact on your ability to stay out of debt. Moving out into a dorm apartment, or into a house near school with roommates may sound great, but these scenarios introduce all kinds of additional costs: groceries, utilities, rent, fast food, entertainment – these bills go up exponentially when you are away from home. No one cooks like your mother, and she would love to still have you home at dinner time. Your parents would most likely greatly encourage you to live at home so that they can enjoy your contributions to the family culture for a few more years. I know, it may sound lame, and you may wish to spread your wings already now… but your older self will thank you for your decision to study from home! Stay north young (wo)man! While researching this article, I was surprised at how low annual tuition is in Canada compared to the average costs in the USA. A full-time student at Simon Fraser University in Burnaby, BC may pay less than $7,000 CDN for one year; while the equivalent cost at Western Washington University in Bellingham is nearer to $14,000 USD! Costs at private colleges may be considerably higher, but again the rates at Canadian schools can be far more reasonable than those at American institutions. Consider that tuition at Redeemer University in Ancaster is currently less than $10,000 CDN (thanks in part to some generous donors!), while Calvin University in Michigan begins at nearly $40,000 USD annually! (It is very common for Christian university students to get discounts and scholarships relatively easily, but these numbers do provide a helpful baseline.) Since most readers of Reformed Perspective live in Canada, I can unequivocally advise, “stay north to study – your wallet will thank you!” Are you mature enough? University can be exciting and enjoyable when you find the right course of study, but are you ready? It’s possible that you are not yet spiritually mature enough to take on the intellectual challenges of what is often a hostile environment for Christians. Professors and teaching assistants at most colleges and universities are no longer sympathetic to a Christian worldview. When you assert that there are two genders, that life begins at conception, or that you believe homosexuality is against God’s created order, teaching staff and students will let you know you have fallen far outside of the mainstream of opinion. Perhaps even more dangerous, you may begin to feel “old fashioned” or “out of touch” – does the Bible really say that? Christian post-secondary schools are not necessarily havens of safety either. Just consider how many universities were founded as Christian and aren’t now – Harvard, Yale, Oxford, and the University of Toronto to name just a few. So, drift is common, and the lecturer at the front of your class may call himself a Christian, but his view of what the Bible teaches may be vastly different from how you have been taught, and what you know to be true. I don’t mean to infer that every teacher at a Christian college is dangerous – not at all! But you must be thoroughly grounded yourself in the truths of God’s Word so that you can weigh others’ theories in the light of Scripture. How do you know if you’re ready? Ask people whose opinion you trust for their thoughts. Your grandmother, your uncle, your elder, your parents – those folks who know you well will be able to offer good insight on your readiness to make your way in the post-secondary world. Ask them to be honest, and don’t be offended if they give different counsel than you expect! Stay grounded If you haven’t yet publicly professed your faith, continue pre-confession classes while you are at college. Yes, it may fill up one more evening in your busy week, but the Lord gives us the great gift of ministers and elders who are qualified to teach the church’s confessions to young people, and who enjoy the task. So take their instruction seriously – they may be providing the very answers you’ll need when you are challenged in university. If you have professed your faith, stay diligent in your Bible study opportunities with brothers and sisters in your congregation. Take the opportunity to ask questions about anything you’ve encountered at school: you may be surprised at the wisdom of a farmer or framer, or the insight of a housewife or teacher. Chances are very good that what you are wondering about has been faced by the saints before! Closing thoughts University is not for everyone. There is nothing shameful in deciding that you don’t want a degree, and would rather get a two-year college diploma, or a certification in the trades! But if you do decide to enroll at a university, I pray that this short article can give you some guidance in how to plan your years of study. The Lord has given many different gifts to His children: work diligently with what you have, and be wise in how you use the talents He has entrusted to you....

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Gender roles

More to consider: women on setting life and post-secondary goals

The timing of a woman’s life can get complicated, especially when she faces decisions about whether to pursue higher education or not. In a society that insists on women getting an education and establishing a career before even thinking about marriage and family, it’s not always fashionable to point this reality out. But women simply have more considerations to take into account when making these decisions. The challenging part is because there is no guarantee of a husband coming along, or children being born, she faces an added layer of uncertainty. Essentially, a woman who wants marriage and a family is trying to plan for two futures, without knowing which future will happen for her. The questions are endless. Should she pursue practical education and a career just in case she doesn’t get married? Should she work in a dead-end “for now” job because she expects to transition into motherhood soon? Should she take out student loans, which could limit her freedom to make choices in the future? And when a woman is intellectually gifted, or “smart,” the questions can be tougher. Is she “wasting” her gifts if she doesn’t pursue an education? Did she waste her time or money if she does pursue an education and never “uses” it after she gets married? The ultimate answer to this bewildering maze of questions is simply that there is no one-size-fits-all path. The many possible ways an individual woman uses her gifts can look quite different from one woman to another. Life, after all, is not mapped out for us ahead of time, but it is a journey where we take each step as best we can, trusting in God. But in this article I want to explore these challenges in a bit more depth so that, first of all, women see that they’re not alone in facing these questions – especially in a culture that shies away from discussing them. And secondly, I want to explore them so that the Christian community understands how complex (and frustrating!) navigating these questions can be. And lastly, I want to offer guidance where any guidance can be given. Making a life plan For me, deciding what to do after high school was a confusing mess. I was open to marriage and children, but I hadn’t met anyone. I was considered “smart” and everyone expected me to go to university, and I did want to study, but I didn't know what to study. The idea of having a “career” didn't appeal to me – I certainly didn't relate to the idea of being a “girlboss.” But I felt stuck between devoting time and energy and money to studying things I enjoyed, or finding a career that could support me while I was single, or keeping my options open if I met someone. I wanted to go beyond what I personally experienced in writing this article so I reached out to other Reformed women I’d connected with through Facebook. And I received a flood of responses about their own experiences in considering post-secondary education. How women timed their education was an important question for me, because I’ve heard a lot of theories about how college is to blame for the low birth rate in North America. My assumption initially was that women who wanted children had always had that on their mind to some extent. But in my conversations it turned out that not everyone did. For some women, the timing of their life just “worked out.” As Jen Crowder explains, “As a young person in my 20s, there were times where it felt ‘hard’ to not be dating, but the Lord richly blessed me – with peace to be patient, and even more so in bringing my spouse and I together in His marvelous timing shortly after I started my first teaching position. As a young person, it’s very hard to see four, five, or six years as a very short period of one’s life, but looking back on it now, God’s timing is always perfect.” And her experience was echoed by other women who met their husband in their last year of their studies, or just after, and didn’t experience a big conflict between education and beginning a family. Life does not nicely “work out” for everyone, but when considering whether to study or not, this is a comforting reminder to young women that everything is in God’s hands. Sometimes you do borrow worry about the future before you need to. For other women, the timing of life events did overlap. “I remember studying for an exam while in labor at the hospital, and writing an exam a week after giving birth!” says Anna Nienhuis. Some had to fit their studies in around taking care of small children, or put their studies on hold and resume them when their children were older. Some women did not start until later: “I did not consider post-secondary possibilities until I was in my early 30s, married for 12 years, and had five children,” says Sarah Vandergugten. And some found themselves required to go back to school in order to support themselves or their families when they hadn’t expected it. All of these circumstances made studying much more challenging, but somehow they continued to see God’s hand guiding them through it all. Sometimes when you’re young you can feel like you have to be able to predict your future and plan for it responsibly. And to some extent, women do have to consider how their education, jobs and financial situation might impact their freedom to have children. But well-meaning advice can make it sound like your life can all be planned out perfectly. It’s easy to say, “women should pursue marriage first, then children, and then a career if she wants,” or, alternatively, “women should get an education and a career first, and then marriage and children.” But in real life, the path individuals take tends to be more much complex than that, in ways that can’t always be planned out. Even when events in our life overlap in chaotic ways, women and families muddle through while trusting in God. The challenges teach them to trust in Him and the strength He provides. Some women did change their plans when they met their future husband. It might have been a switch from a longer program to a shorter program, such as switching from nursing to healthcare aide. Or it was a switch from something less flexible to something more flexible. “The career I was studying for was not compatible in any way with my husband’s and so I chose to change my plans. Since I had just started my education it was easy enough to change it,” says Deanna DeWit. Others switched from something with fewer career opportunities, such as a Ph.D., to a regular teaching degree which offered more employment. And lastly, some women went the opposite direction, switching from something “practical” to pursuing study at a Master’s and Ph.D. level when they discovered their love of learning, with the encouragement and support of their husbands. This simply shows how, as you grow up, you can become more aware of yourself and your gifts, and what makes sense for the life God has called you to. You can start something and change paths later. Sometimes changing your path while you can is the best decision. Then there were more than a few women who regretted pursuing higher education, or at least weren’t sure it had been worthwhile for them. A few felt they had pursued it because of family expectations, or because they’d absorbed the message from culture to pursue a career first. Some even mentioned in hindsight they felt they’d delayed marriage and hadn’t been accepting God’s will for their lives at that time, though they had come to terms with the choices they’d made. It seems that post-secondary wasn’t a perfect fit for every woman. And it’s true that higher education is not for everyone! For many women it makes sense, especially if there is no husband on the horizon and they may have to support themselves one day. In fact, many women felt free to begin because they weren’t expecting marriage in the very near future. But decisions should never be made primarily because of cultural messages, family expectations, or fear of bad consequences. And cultural messages do shift over time – older generations felt unusual when pursuing higher education, whereas younger generations felt more cultural pressures to pursue it. “I had believed the idea – a lie actually – that if I was to be successful I had to go to university,” says Rebecca Van Middelkoop. “No one ever told me that directly but it was an idea that I seemed to have picked up over the years and I think many people believe it as well. As someone who was academically gifted it seemed like I was obligated to do something ‘big’ ... We often think that some careers are superior or more meaningful compared to other careers, especially ones that are more entry level.” She suggests job shadowing, internships and summer jobs in a field you’re interested in to test out what opportunities exist and whether you do need more education. For other women, higher education could be a path God is calling them to. “God doesn’t have a general plan or calling for all women... God has a specific plan for each of His children,” says Rachelle van Leeuwen. “God’s plan for me was to put people in my life who would continue to encourage me to further my education. If He is putting those people in your life, don’t balk at it; instead, explore different paths that are realistic for you in your current stage of life (not on where you hope to be one day).” Which brings us to discernment, or listening to God’s will for your life. Discernment In the end, making this decision is simply a process of discernment, of drawing near to God. What is God’s call on your life specifically? For me, the phrases “pray about it,” and “seek God’s will,” felt formulaic when I was trying to make decisions, and felt frustrating when it felt like He was silent. But so often phrases become a cliché because they’re true. When I'm making decisions in life, when I feel in the dark and confused, that is when these supposedly tired and formulaic statements hold the most truth. That is when God is teaching me to be persistent in seeking after Him, making decisions as best I can at each step, and trusting that I don’t need to be afraid of the future. You may not hear God’s voice from the sky telling you directly what to do, but you can lean on Him as you study your gifts, circumstances and responsibilities and make the best choices about how you can serve Him with what He’s given you. This means that, yes, if your passion is to be a wife and mother, it’s worth discerning what steps to take to pursue this too! Sometimes we feel we have to leave this area of our lives entirely in God’s hands without taking any action that we might take in other areas of our lives (in the way we might in our careers). Of course, we can’t pursue marriage in the same way as a career, but we can do things like staying social with other likeminded Christians (even if we're busy studying at university), being involved in church activities, being open to being introduced to possibilities, and maybe even visiting other areas of the country. While we should do the tasks God gives us, it’s not an either/or choice when it comes to marriage or career. Society might tell you to not think about marriage until after your career is established but if you want it, it’s worthwhile to keep your eyes open even while you're studying. Lastly, some women mentioned feeling judged, both for looking too “desperate” for marriage by not pursuing a career, or for having a career when most women around them didn’t. But if we truly believe our sisters are looking to God to discern how He will work in their individual lives, we can expect it to look a little different from person to person. God created humans in His image to glorify Him, but this also happens in an individual sense – we are not all eyes, or hands, or heads. We do not start off knowing all that we as an arm (for example) can do, but we grow into it by fixing our eyes on Christ. And so we can also turn to one another and encourage each other, and take the time to truly understand how others navigated their experiences and made their own decisions. And so, my last piece of advice would be to talk to other women! Through writing this piece, I was inspired by my fellow sisters in Christ, as I listened to how God had guided their life journeys. Each story is an amazing story, whether their path was straightforward or more bumpy. In fact, I wish I had more room to tell these stories. In my confused high school years, I could've benefited from having some of these conversations about how life paths can be anything but straight and still be clearly guided by the hand of God. Jenn VanLeeuwen sums it up like this, “If you would have asked me at 18 what my life was going to look like at 24, I definitely envisioned being married and having a few kids and a dog. However, God, in His wisdom, had that in store 10 years later. I was able to complete a number of university degrees and certifications, move across the country a few times for different teaching jobs, travel, and grow so very much as an individual!” Conclusion There are many more considerations I haven’t covered, including financing education and whether debt makes sense, whether to choose a practical career or follow your passion, whether secular college is wise, and when seeking knowledge for knowledge’s sake is worth pursuing. Debt, in particular, can have a huge impact on young women’s freedom to make choices, but her passions and goals can also shape the path of her life. In short, while figuring out how education fits into the timeline of your life is one piece of the puzzle, there are many other factors to take into account. However, ultimately the process is not about weighing every possible consideration, but rather about drawing closer to God and to what He is calling you to. May He guide you....